I have been born into a broken world and my purpose is to make sure when I leave it, know that I have left a mark of kindness on it somewhere.
Nikki Rowe
Note: ++ typos...will need to come back and edit
I often wonder why, as I appear to be 'waking up', I find myself so "out of the loop". I have written extensively about that feeling of disconnect that has been building in me for as long as I can remember but especially over the last few years. I thought the increased intensity of this feeling was due to the sudden and drastic changes in my life circumstances: going from being very active in a job I loved, to having to cut back my hours at work and finally having to leave my job all together; from having a professional title and recognition to having nothing but my name to sign a form with; from going from a good salary and the things they provide to barely getting by on next to nothing for so many years; from priding myself on my integrity to realizing how assumptions were made that gravely diminished the opinion of my integrity and therefore pretty well making a mess of my life and from being physically fit and active to having to limit almost everything I do etc etc. I thought that is why I had a hard time "fitting in" and taking part in conversations, why I began to absolutely hate small talk, why I began to prefer the company of animals and nature to social gatherings.
I realize now that it had or has little to do with my present situation but some inherent trait within me that I have always stifled. I have always felt "different", like I didn't quite belong in my family, my community, this world maybe. I could never understood why. I deeply care about people and sincerely wanted to help but I just never felt like I fit in.
Someone recently put the question in my head, "Are you a 'lightworker?'' My first conditioned reaction was, "Of course not! There is no such thing. That is just New-Age mumble jumble." Then somewhere in this awakening journey I came across these videos that put that posibility on the table, at least for consideration...at least enough to possibly explain why I feel the way I do.
Christina Lopez tells us, in 10 Remarkable Signs You are a Light Worker, that a lightworker is someone who has:
- an intense desire to serve humanity
- a highly sensitive nature. Empathic
- a strong intuitive side (express great intuition even before they know they are intuitive)
- a life long feeling of being totally out of place, "different"
- a certian wisdom that goes beyond their years
- the history of people coming to them for advice
- a tendency to go deep within. Very introspective and good at doing shadow work even if they are afraid to uncover what hides inside them.
- a very strong and powerful energy field that children, babies, animals and those who can read or sense auras are attracted to. Because of this powerful energy field they may be manifesting things they do not want in their life if they are not careful
- a tendency to be forward driven. An intense need to heal the past so they can move on. Can walk away from past situations, relationships etc pretty easily without looking back or clinging
- a need to grow. They have a very powerful inclination to grow, evolve and expand.
- comes on very quickly because of a sudden shift of energy at the quatum level
- is temporary. In truth we are never actually disconnected...just perceive we are. When our energy shifts we may give up old networks that do not serve us while we are being inputed into new networks that better serve us.
- is irreversible. When we spiritually disconnect from places, people, things because they no longer serve our evolution, we cannot reconnect. Though ego may resist and fight letting go of these familiar patterns of existence, we cannot plug back in to that which we have disconnected from
- happens multiple times in varying degrees through our awakening and through our lives
- is happening for our benefit , in order to take us to a better way of living, a more joyful place for the soul... so it is best we do not resist it too much. Resistance will slow us down.
- Know what it is and that there is a purpose for it
- Be patient! Know that though the energy change is immediate, the repercussion may be slower, as energy takes time to ripple out enough to change reality
- Learn to ground self ...get back into body, breath, connection with earth etc through mindfulness and awareness
- Connect to spiritual guidance team, "I give authority for you to intervene".
- Do not fight it! Ego will resist and if you allow it to progress forward will be slowed. Try this mantra: "I am just going through a process of disconnect but eventually I will connect to something new. I will be a whole new person, more joyful, more purposeful, and aligned with higher energy."
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