Life, as you well know, is a continous succession: it's great, it's lousy, it's agreeable, it's disagreeable; it's joyous and blissful, and other times it's sad. And being with that, being with this continual succession of agreeable and disagreeable with an open spirit, open heart, and open mind, that's why I sit to meditate.
Pema Chodron (2013) How to Meditate.Sounds True, page 52.
Sad and It Shows
I realize I wasn't very energetic in the video I put out yesterday. I look sad. I did not smile much. It is recommended that we consciously smile while we are meditating for all kinds of reasons...helps to inhibit serotonin reuptake for one thing...which will help to open the heart and allow one to feel happier. Buddhist monks make it a part of their meditations and will sometimes suggest that a pencil be placed over the back teeth to force a smile.
I didn't use a pencil. I didn't necessarily need to feel happier. I have been grieving so it shows in my affect, and how I move about. I allow, respect and honor this grief. It is one of Rumi's many house guests...here for a reason. So as transparent as I am these days...I won't hide grief. I allow the tears to come whenever they come. I allow my face to do what it wants to do to express what is inside. I will speak outwardly of my sadness.
Another Reason to Smile
At the same time...it doesn't mean I cannot smile for other reasons. I could have smiled for our connection.
Smiling , I discovered, is something that can connect us to that intrinsic goodness in another. It opens our heart to compassion and kindness. Others see that opening in a smile and tend to automatically smile back. Have you noticed that?
Smiles are healing for humanity. They are like the body's "Namaste": the light in me sees and honors the light in you. That light is always there underneath the seemingly dark circumstances we encounter, the stress, the fear, the grief. And a smile lets it shine through.
Smiling Through Grief
Despite my acceprtance of grief and stress I want my heart to stay open. We can actually smile in our grief. We can actually have big open, compassionate hearts when we are grieving. Infact grief, instead of contracting us and making us feel seperate and alone, can be a doorway to compassion and connection.
I use my mind as a tool here, thanks to my practice in Tonglen meditation. When I feel the grief...I think and visualize...my daughter's grief...and then I visualize her partner's grief...and all others who were excited about this birth and are now grieving. I go from there to all others whom I know have lost in this way...and then to all others I don't know but who have lost in this way. Then I think of all those who have lost in anyway and who have felt the pangs of grief for whatever reason. That would cover just about everyone in the world.
This pain I feel then...when I do that...doesn't seperate me. It connects me. It is no longer "my" pain. It is not "my" daughter's pain...it is simply ...pain. It is the shared pain of humanity, one of the 10,000 sorrows that make up human life. One life we are all a part of. One pain we all share. And I smile.
As a person who likes to photograph, I am fasicinated by the human face. The face that I would most love to capture but won't for obvious reasons...is the face of someone who is smiling while tears are streaming down their cheek. There is something so beautiful, so honest in that. Witnessing such a face touches every cell within me. It speaks to the beauty in opening up to the 10,000 joys, 10,000 sorrows that make us human.
Hmmm! How I ramble, eh?
So my point...in meditation and in life...don't be afraid to grieve...and don't be afraid to smile. Both will help you to connect to that "greater something" that you are. It will help to keep you open to the continual succession of Life.
All is well.
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