The Wait

The wait

I am not sure what will happen to "me"
as others walk away to deal with
the  more important things
on their over booked to do lists.
I am not sure it really matters.

I am not sure  my body can sustain the storms
as the calendar pages  turn,
the seasons  change,
and the clock  taunts its way into another morning.
I am not sure it really matters.

I am not sure my mind will stand up to
 another extended tryst with time and
its tag team buddy...fear
that hisses and waits in the corner to be tapped.
I am not sure it really matters.

I am not sure how patient and forgiving  I will remain  
on this side of the massive  boulder 
that's blocking  my path,
preventing me from seeing up ahead.
I am not sure it really matters.

I am not sure how this outer form
of what I think I am will breathe through
the endless not knowing
that is buried  in burlap sacks of "wait and see".  
I am not sure it really matters.

I am not sure if this ,
what people know  as "me"
will be here as it is now
when the six month wait is over.
I am not sure it really matters

For something tells me
this is all just a dream of waiting
that I, the lucid dreamer,  
can wake myself up from anytime.
And knowing that,  is all that really matters.

Dale-Lyn March 17, 2020