ACIM-T-7:V:9:4
I was not going to write here today but all students in my first yoga class cancelled and this free hour opened up for me. I could have cleaned , I could have done my income tax, I could have cleared off the ice on the step for the second class, I could have walked the dogs...but...No...when I realized I had an hour all I could think to do was sigh in gratitude and say, "I can write! I have an hour with my words after all...how wonderful is that?"
So here I am.
More on Simplifying the Complexity of Illness
I feel the need to continue breaking down the complexity of what I wrote about illness and put it into more practical terms. Right now...it is all probably " too out there" to make sense to many and truth is it may never make sense to some but I feel I need to at least try to explain it better.
Is she nuts?
If anyone were to open up for the first time onto certain recent pages , they may have found themselves shaking their heads and saying, "WTF(front)? Is she absolutely nuts?"
If it was someone that already knew me they may be cringing in embarrassment for me or for their association with me, whispering to themselves, "Oh No...She finally went over the edge. Yep... she lost it!" or "Man...I knew she wasn't all there before but this is something else. It doesn't get any crazier than this. Imagine saying that there is no such thing as illness. Who does that? Denying sin...was one thing but to say we sickness isn't real especially with the COVID-19 Pandemic happening? Now that is cra-cra with a capitol "C". Someone better draw up that Haldol now...we gotta go old school with this one. "
(I am not meaning to insult anyone or diminish the damaging effects of schizophrenia with this analogy but many believe that someone who thinks as I do is actually psychotic, breaking from reality...so that is why I use it.)
Not as Crazy as I Appear.
First of all, I can assure you that I am not psychotic. I am not delusional having delusions of grandeur or lost in religious preoccupation. In fact, it feels that I am actually facing reality for the first time in my life. I am seeing clearer than I have ever seen before...and though I may not be behaving, thinking or expressing like the majority of the world does right now...making me completely strange and abnormal...I feel "healthier" than I ever have mentally and emotionally. I will admit I am strange and abnormal but not psychotic.
A Healing Mind
Most of this, that I write here, isn't coming from an ill mind...it is coming from a healing mind. It is not coming from one puny little mixed up mind but One large collective Mind I share.
I don't know where you are in your understanding of consciousness...what it is and what it isn't. I am not sure where you are in understanding your Self. I am not sure if you recognize an ego in yourself or others or if you even believe there is such thing as an ego. I am not sure if you understand or believe there is something Greater within you, if you believe in God/Source/ the One. I am not sure if you are willing to venture beyond a materialistic perspective...to question what exists beyond matter and physical form. I don't know where you are at.
Questions to Ask Yourself
What is important, is not what I know or don't know as I ramble on here but for you to examine where you are at in these areas. Can you even attempt to ask and answer these questions:
- What is consciousness?
- What is the Self?
- Who am I really?
- Could I actually be more than this body, this personality, these perceptions, these thoughts and feelings...this story I describe myself in?
- Am I more than the titles and roles I define myself by, the things I own and the things I do?
- Do I believe there is a God or Something Greater than all of us that is behind the creation of all of us?
- If I believe there is, how do I "know" beyond what I might have been told or taught?
- Could I be a part of Something bigger?
- What do I believe will happen to me when my brain dies...do I believe "I" will go on?
Maybe these are the types of questions you need to be asking before you start considering how absolutely off the deep end I may be in my thinking when it comes to the body and illness.
New to Me Too
And please know, this is "new" thinking for me too. I am just getting my mind around the idea that I cannot be harmed by sickness. Man...my body has been talking to me big time for years and for years I thought it was saying, "I'm sick! Fix me! Or at least get someone who knows how to fix me to fix me!!!" Now I have this little issue that is palpably real....and it is like "What the heck do I do with this? Sickness has got to be real!"
I also come from a professional background where I made my living off of sickness. I have lost people I love to sickness.
I have, therefore, this very deep and ingrained core belief that our bodies are vulnerable to illness. This belief is a part of who I think I am. So when I come to you and say, "We cannot be harmed by illness," I am probably coming from the same place you are at. I am testing the truth of that statement. Illness is a collective belief that I am still questioning.
Coming From Within
I am not being brainwashed either by doctrine and dogma. I have no particular religious affiliation right now. I am studying ACIM for the third time and that is why you see so much reference to it here but it is not the only learning device I use. I seek out answers from all religions. Not just from religions but philosophies, science, literature and by watching humanity at large. I have no one guru. Life is my guru.
What I write here comes from a place beyond "me" anyway. It is not about me (no matter how many "me"s and "I" s end up on these pages) . I am nothing more than the canister that holds the ink in a Bic Pen. I am pretty transparent as I let what ever is inside me pour out onto the page. I am doing what I feel compelled to do and this compulsion goes way beyond my limited ability to comprehend the Greater picture, the One Who is holding me and making me move.
Two Ways to View What I Am Writing
So what I am saying can be viewed in two ways...from the perspective of the un-evolved mind/ the unforgiving mind/ unhealed mind/ the unconscious, ego driven mind where most of us are at, including me most of the time and the evolved mind/the enlightened mind/ the forgiving mind/the healed mind/ the conscious, Self driven mind.
The Un-evolved Mind and Illness
With the un-evolved mind illness is very real. When we determine our reality only by what we pick up with the body's five senses- what can be seen, heard, felt, tasted or smelled...we limit our understanding of Life to the external physical world. We think we are these separate bodies and are vulnerable to attack from everything else out there in a dangerous, guilt-ridden and cruel world...we will get sick. Masses will show up on our bodies. Viruses will mutate and find homes in the human organism. We will break bones. As long as we see the world through these limited perspectives and do not recognize who we really are...we will get sick. Illness will be real. Most of us will hold onto this belief until the day we die but I know ( and I don't know why I know) that at the moment of our death we will realize we only limited ourselves with this belief we clung to because, in truth, we are so much more than form. It was our belief that made us sick.
The Evolved Mind and Illness
When we finally accept and connect to who we really are and the Source from which we come...there will be no illness. There will be no need for it. Illness is just something the ego uses to keep us small and limited so that it can survive. The ultimate realization of who we really are will happen at death when we escape the confines of body. (So many scientific studies are being done by scientists that show that consciousness goes on beyond ceased brain activity therefore we do. So many studies examine NDE's and show how wonderful that freedom from form attachment is.) Yogis and Buddhists practitioners have shown for centuries we do not have to die in order to get to this realization, to experience Heaven and the peace, joy and Love that comes with it...to experience the impossibility of illness. Why don't we venture to learn from them?
Don't take my word for it. Do your own questioning, your own research. Look out at humanity and the world you see. Examine it closely. Examine your own mind and your own Self . I am confident, you will then see what I see or so much more.
All is well!
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