Before I get on to Step Nine: Choose Peace....I need to get back to these videos because they are consuming me lately lol. They are disturbing my peace because I am allowing them to. This is supposed to be an effortless activity coming from within me...not based on ego or the little "self" .
Truth is, I feel compelled to create them even in all their apparent imperfection. I feel the need to share my learning with others. It is purely a "spiritual" inclination. Yet...there is ego sitting in the director's chair shaking his finger at me as he yells into his big cone thingy, "Cut!!!!" There are too many takes and too many less than perfect moments captured on screen to call it "effortless" and "sincere".
I do not want this to be about the appearance of me or the video. I want it to be about the message. At the same time...I know as a Toastmaster and as an educator who lectures ++...if we want to get the message across, we need to present it in a way that will move people and get them to listen. Judgments are formed quickly and sometimes once they are formed they make challenging walls to get through.
I know I can do better. I do speak...so that is not an issue ( you may disagree once you see me stumbling over my words in one of these videos lol); improving the lighting and audio is not a big issue either. It can be more professional. Yet the more I focus on the "techniques" the less I speak from the heart ...you know? The more it becomes about "presentation," the less it becomes about the message. Presentation is ego; the message is spirit. I want spirit to take the reins here.
So what I will do is publish them here....just here...share or link you few who follow my blog to the videos. Just so that I am not holding back because of ego. I am confident that the videos will gradually improve in quality as I continue to make them...and the message will become more clearly expressed!
I just need to keep reminding myself and you...that it isn't about me. I mean it is because as I am sharing this message I do feel sincerely connected, you know? I feel what Joseph Campbell would call...bliss. It is such a calling (or what psychiatrist's would call a pathological compulsion lol) now that if I do not create them I will not feel at peace. Hmmm! But it is still beyond my puny little needs.
I want to be at peace and I want the world to be at peace. If my words move others in that direction...even if it is just by moving their big toes a quarter of an inch toward it lol...am I not obligated to share them? Will I not feel unsettled until I do?
I don't know but I will try. :)
Judge me as you see fit...but I strongly encourage you to listen to the message beneath the imperfections
All is well in my world.
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