Experiencing the Experience

To Experience the experience you are experiencing, that is why you take birth. 

The "me":  I bought another book on Karma. 

The Wiser Self: Why? 

The "me": Because I wanted to know why these challenging things were happening to "me"? I figure, if it isn't some type of a family curse, it must be my karma, some punishment I am living for something I did in this life or another.

The Wiser Self: Without adding any drama or victim description, what challenging things?

The "me": Well I am constantly being reminded of how my children are suffering. It is right there in front of me.  I can't seem to handle it.

The Wiser Self: So you are focusing on the suffering of your children and see it as your suffering?

The "me: Well yes. Duh! They are my kids.  I love them and worry about them. I feel their pain.  Besides, I can't help but to ask:  what do they think and feel about me...do they see me as the cause of that suffering?  Some seem to blame me for choices I made in the past that I thought was for their benefit.  Some blame me for not helping enough or in the "right way"  though I do try.  And what do others think and feel about "me" when they see my children suffering so.  They will assume, and  possibly rightfully so, that I screwed up royally as a mom. And on top of all that....they, my children and myself see that I can't seem to fix this no matter what I do. I  feel so much guilt and shame and remorse thinking I might have  hurt my children in anyway. This is all too much...one thing after another and I don't know what to "do". I am a failure as a mom and every time I feel their pain I am reminded of such. I can't handle this!!!

The Wiser Self: Hmm! Let me get this straight.  Your challenges not only involve experiencing the compassion and empathy you have for suffering others ( which by the way is a wonderful and natural expression of the 'chit shakti' within you), but it also has to do with ego's perception of all this...poor little me's view.  You don't always see your children's pain when you see their behaviours and choices brought about by suffering. Ego steps in and says, "What about "me"; what is this doing to "me"?" It becomes about you and your stuffed pain and fear, not so much about them at times. Doesn't it? That is what makes it hard to handle?

The "Me": Wow! That's pretty harsh.  You are calling me selfish? I love my children and I would die for them!!!

The Wiser Self:  Oh! I know you love them and no doubt you would die for them. That is not being questioned. The way you are reacting is also very normal. Most people would react the way you are ...but it isn't healthy and wholesome. Normal doesn't mean healthy. I see you are loving them with two different parts of you. You are loving them with the ego...that is always selfish and you are loving them with your soul which is never about the "me" in you. 

The Me: Huh? What the fork are you talking about? 

The Wiser Self:  The true you is Love and it is hidden beneath that thick layer of ego you built: your personality, your sense of "meness" which is basically just an accumulation of all your learned experiences, leading to the creation of likes and dislikes that make you who you think you are. Love to the ego is different than Love to the soul. The ego sees itself as separate from everything and everyone and therefore  love to the ego is all about what that other person can do to fill in the emptiness separateness provides. We thusly open when the other is acting and being what we need them to be and we close when they aren't.  It is conditional. It is all about what the other can do for you, the "me". Your children are seen by your ego as an extension of who you are; your ego sees them as there to help enhance it and fulfill it.  The ego is "selfish". The Soul, on the other hand,  sees no separateness. Love to the Soul is all about answering this question:  "what can I do to bring more love into this world, what can I do to open up so more love flows through me and into the world?" 

The Me: Huh?

The Wiser Self: You are opening up and evolving, albeit at your own pace, and the more you open the more you let me in. I am the doorway to Soul.  When you fall back into me you experience the Soul's love for your children regardless of what they are doing.  You feel their pain in a genuine way but you are not as attached to it.   You see it as a part of their journey. When you allow your consciousness to follow the busy and very sick ego, however...your love for your children is contaminated with ego's need to protect itself.  You see the children as "my" children, an extension of your ego. When you see something you don't like in your children's behaviours and choices, this taps into and pokes all those stored and stuffed pains  inside you. It gets very uncomfortable and messy in there. It becomes about you and you don't feel you can handle the experience of their pain on top of all the other pain that is coming up. You do your best to push it down on top of all that disturbed mess so you do not have to feel it. This is unwholesome and disrespectful to the Soul. 

Th 'me": Regardless...I am still suffering. There seems to be one thing after the other thrown in my face that I can't handle. There has to be some reason for all these challenging things stepping in front of me. I would like to know why so I can stop this karma or whatever from taking over my family's life. That is why I bought this book. Are you telling me I shouldn't read it?

The Wiser Self:  No, of course not.  Read it. Learn from it.  It is a yogi's perspective of karma so that might help you to see that karma isn't what you and many westerners  think it is. No harm in this book.  I just want you to question why you feel you need it. You, like so many other human beings,  spend so much of your energy looking "out there" for the cause of the so called problems and for the solutions.  You spend so much time asking why things are the way they are so you can distract yourself from what is.  Does it really matter why ?  It is.  It just is. Your children are suffering. You are right here witnessing and experiencing that suffering as a third party.  It is what it is. 

The "me": Are you saying I do nothing but stand here and watch?

The Wiser Self: No.  I am saying you cannot change what happened and you will never fully understand the thousands of events that led to the so called challenges unfolding in front of you.  You do not need to know.  First of all...it isn't your business and it isn't yours to fix.  Do you honestly think you know better than Life what to do here? You have to let it be and let it go. Then you can "do" what needs to be done, if anything does. 

The "me": How do I do that when it hurts so much?

The Wiser Self: You have to first of all allow it to be what it is.  Stop resisting. You can't change the fact that your children are where they are.  It is...again for reasons that go way beyond you and anything you might have did or didn't do. (That doesn't mean you don't explore or accept anything you are accountable for here ...not so you are consumed with guilt...but so you learn and do not repeat it in the future). You can't change the fact that your past was the way it was, leading to a bunch of stuffed junk that wants to come up from inside you . You can't change the fact that it hurts and it is going to hurt. Accept. Allow it to be what it is. 

The "me": Then what?

The Wiser Self: You relax into what is. Well you lean back and relax into me, creating a bit of distance between the reality of the challenges in front of you  and the personal mind. Relax.  Relaxation is the opposite of resistance. That means you stop holding your hands up to block what is from coming in to your experience.  You stop using your inner hands to push the painful and unwanted down or back down. You allow it all to come in or up and you experience it fully.

The "me": Experience it fully?

The Wiser Self: Yes you observe and experience whatever unfolds in front of you through me.  This is where the clarity lies.  It is from here where we will be clear enough to know if we need to take action or not.  The experience  is ours.  Allow it in. Relax as you observe it. Sit with it,  Feel it. And when you are ready, honor it and be grateful for it with me.  It is all a part of some big process you will never completely understand until you are completely merged in me. But know it is taking you somewhere.  Every experience you let in will eventually leave you.  It will cleanse you and purify you.

The "me": What for? 

The Wise Self: The Soul is here to learn and evolve.  It and me and  you are here to experience for God the joy of living...all of it...with its ten thousand joys and ten thousand sorrows. You, my friend, are often standing in the way.  When you are willing to give up yourself for me and for soul, amazing things will happen.

The "me": Oh no...I am not ready yet.  

The Wise Self: That's okay.  It is a process.  Just learn to allow life to unfold in front of you, lean back and relax into me as you observe and experience it all. If you are called toward some inspired action from this clear place of wisdom that will help you or your children...go for it.  Until then...just sit and experience, allowing what is to be what it is as you relax.  Let Life take care of the rest for you and your children. It's all good.

The "me": Okay, I will do my best to trust you. I will. Not saying I won't screw up but I will try.

The Wise Self: That is all anyone can ask. That you are willing to take a step backwards away from your narrow and sick focus "out there" and towards me.  Chit Shakti is constantly flowing back here ...fall into it and it will bring the peace you long for, for you and your children. 

To embrace Life go through it. Embrace it all. Be one with it all. Ram Dass

Karma is not a creed, a scripture, an ideology, a philosophy or a theory. It is simply the wat things are. Sadhguru

Inspired By:

Ram Dass/ Be Here Now Network (Sept 26, 2016) Ram Dass Here and Now-Episode 20-Embracing It All.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGPy8q51ZLI&t=1183s

Sadhguru ( 2021) A Yogi's Guide to Crafting Your Destiny. New York: Harmony Books

Michael. A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( August 6, 2023) Your Choice: Living for Yourself or Letting Go of Yourself.https://tou.org/talks/ 

Love to a Yogi?

 

Love is patient.  Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

1 Corinthians13:4-8 NIV

What is romantic love to a yogi?

I attempted to answer that question in the ten minute impromptu exercise I am committed to for my own learning ( and hopefully the learning of others). It was an interesting question. 

When I got married, as do many catholics, I chose the above reading from Corinthians as part of the ceremony. Caught in a romantic ego mind, I failed then to realize what those words meant.  I know better now.

Love is not attachment and desire as our romantic notions paint it to be.  It is not built on the whims of ego and offered to us externally. It is not blown this way and that by our reactive tendencies. It is who we are!

Anyway,

All is well. 

Moth to a Flame

 

Let your inner pull toward enlightenment lead you so to speak. Let the light pull you towards itself (like a moth to the flame).

Ram Dass

I woke up thinking about a few things.  I was thinking about how I slept in again and was getting lazy with my sadhana/practice; how I wasn't quite feeling it, maybe experiencing a bit of skeptical doubt which is considered to be the fifth hindrance to spiritual enlightenment in the Buddhist tradition, and I was wondering why. I was also thinking about  the Ram Dass book I just finished reading before I fell asleep last night, Remember: Be Here Now. As well, I was thinking about cults, cult followers and cult leaders. I finished the series on Netflix , How to Become a Cult Leader( or something like that) before I went to bed.  So that is how I awoke.  I came out and meditated as I do in the morning, adding the Kriya practice with pranayam to it.  Then I sat with my tea and listened to Michael A. Singer on the below podcast talk about Relaxing, Releasing and Letting Go. As I sat here to write, I asked the question...how do all these things tie into each other and how am I going to write about all this? 

So I begin:

I am questioning my sadhana and the driving force behind it.  My will and commitment is losing its ompf. Why? For several reasons actually but mostly becasue skeptical doubt is slipping in from all around me. I am somehow absorbing some of the dark, pessimistic views of suffering loved ones.  I am seeing myself still stuck in this dark night of the soul despite my practice.  Though I read and hear from many wise ones that this is a normal part of the process, I am questioning: " Is it?  Is it supposed to be going on this long? Should I not be seeing a little positive return on my investment at this point?" 

Cults

Then when I watched the series on cults the doubt deepened a bit. Man, am I just fooling myself like these people were doing? This led me to think long and hard.

I have always been fascinated with cults and I don't know why. Most likely has something to do with my interest and connection with the follower who began as a seeker ( whether they knew it or not) looking for something deeper, something real, something that made sense when the rest of the world didn't, something  that explained why they were here, and something that took them from suffering to peace and beyond.  Sound familiar?  I guess, I could always relate to the follower and developed a great fear about my potential to get swept up into some ideology that promised to save me from my self, like they did. 

The Purity Beneath the Seeking

The messages in these cults are mostly very promising and they touch a deep core truth we all already have within us, I believe. A lot of these teachings are based on the premise of ancient spiritual teachings even if they get twisted around for the leader's benefit.  The teachings resonate because they hit that inner sense of knowing within. To be in a collective of others who are resonating at the same level is a very seductive thing. Look deeply at these people portrayed in shows like this one and you see genuinely happy and peaceful people...regardless if they are living a lie or not.  Something is opening them up to Shakti even if it is a belief brought to them by the leader's deception.  They don't get lured in and "brainwashed" like stupid lost puppies...they are offered the ultimate of gifts: Truth...which is hard to resist at the deepest level. For the most part, it is the spirit within that is being lured...not the psyche or the mind ( though it is to some degree). The inner pull toward enlightenment is taking them there.  And it is in this deep, innate seeking and wanting to serve the spirit, that they find themselves lost in someone's sick ego desires.  It is not so much the cult leader that they come to worship but the message, which is based on a truth that cannot be denied. Even though that truth gets wrapped in egoic fancy to serve the leader, it is doing something for the spirit of the follower. I think that is why it is so challenging for these people to leave. 

They mistakenly honor and serve the leader with their bodies and minds in order to give the spirit a taste of what it is longing for. They erroneously believe through the way the leader manipulates the mind tendencies...that the leader deserves to be honored and served because of the message he/she/they brought to their souls.  Of course, it is only the body and mind that the leader wants. They do what they can  to reduce the self/ego in the follower not for God ( whether they started out with that intention or not) but for the benefit of their own "little me".  Regardless of the reason for it, self/ego/little me in the follower gets diminished or removed and thusly shakti is released.  They have tapped into the state of unconditional well being inside us that has nothing to do with getting what we want and avoiding what we don't want. (Singer, August 2023)

Like a Moth to the Flame

I am not saying go join a cult...by no means.  This show made me question, in fact,  the traditional way of revering guru's in the Indian traditions. It made me question the cult like tendencies of Ashrams, monasteries and even organized religion in the west.  Where do we draw the line between the wholesome following and reverence of a guru/teacher/abbot/ leader and that of an unwholesome following?  I guess, what I am trying to say, is the  following really isn't  unwholesome.  The follower's purpose is clear and pure, usually. Some are led to do some very unwholesome things like in the Helter Skelter murders and the Tokyo  train gas bombings but the motivation which usually involves God and Self realization is wholesome, is it not? That part of cult fellowship is pure? So are there any gurus and leaders out there that lead to wholesome enlightenment processes? Or is all guru following questionable?

And many say there is and were many great leaders. Blindly following your guru is not all that bad if the guru is pure and egoless.  But how many people out there are pure and egoless?

That is why I do a self-directed type of learning and practice.  I listen to the messages of great and wise teachers but I do not revere the messenger.  As long as they have an ego...I do not revere them but I do honor and revere their message. Does that make me a bad yogi? I don't know but that is the type of confusion that arises in me when I look into cults and hear from others who do not practice.  Doubt creeps in. 

Well I guess this is how this all ties in together. As I watch cult stuff and feel my dark night of the soul continuing I doubt.  I question. The human part of me is struggling here but the deeper part of me isn't.  Hmm!

Anyway, it is all good.

All is well in my world.

Ram Dass (n.d.1970's) Remember: Be Here Now. Kindle Edition

Netflix Series on How to Become A Cult Leader.  (Don't have the citing info)

Michael A. Singer ( August 3, 2023) Relaxing, Releasing, and Letting Go. https://tou.org/talks/

Being Conscious

 Eventually you will come to see that it is the presence of consciousness itself that brings joy.

Michael A. Singer

We just got back from a little trip away and I can honestly say it was a wonderful learning experience for the life-long course I am taking, Consciousness 101. Is it merely  ironic that before  I left I listened to the below podcast and made a silent vow to stay conscious throughout the trip? That meant remaining fully away of what was unfolding outside and what was unfolding inside.

Everything you seek through form happens to be your nature

 Escape-minded, we went on this trip away with the intention of "winging it" as much as we could. D. made a reservation at the last minute, at what looked to be a beautiful spot for an unbelievable price. So though we still wanted to 'go with the flow', we approached our accomodation  with a certain degree of expectation.  In fact, I was very conscious on the way there of how "hopeful" I was and conscious of the way I talked to myself when I recognized the hope inside. "Hope?  You know better than that.  No expectations, remember?  Just let it all unfold as it will unfold.The joy is in you already."

when things are the way we want them, the mind settles down and the energy can flow.

 Well what we thought would be a 3 hour drive there turned out to be a 5 + hour drive.  I was aware of what was going on around me as we drove...the beautiful scenery, the blue sky and sunshine, the traffic in areas.  I was aware of the company and the conversations.  I was also aware of the pleasant feelings in me which I attributed to the "hope and excitement" I felt about getting away from the  focus on heavy objects of consciousness for a while.  I was aware of anticipation of what the future held for us...the excitement of  "mystery" of what lay ahead. So I felt a certain amount of "joy".  I was "experiencing"  the joy and  neglected to remember  where that joy was coming from: consciousness itself. I fell back into old habit tendencies of assuming,  it was because of the pleasant. preferable conditions of the outside world and the conditions of my inside world ( pleasant feelings, pleasant thoughts), that I felt good.  So when I caught myself assuming, I would remind myself  (until I fell back into old habit tendencies again) that I was simply open because I was in in the moment, aware, and consciousness.  I was joyful becasue I was open and present.

...we are aware of joy because joy is consciousness

Now we realized it seemed to be taking us a long time to get there.  ...a lot longer than expected and we were travelling away from towns  into very desolate areas. Maybe that is why the price was so good, we thought. I started to question the nature of the booking, as we drove,...something just didn't feel right. I had a bit of a gut feeling that I pushed down. (Supposed to be aware...not follow and not push down ...just notice and be aware, right?).  

...thoughts feelings and forms are just objects of consciousness

So anyway, we finally get there...in what seems to be the middle of no where and we encounter this beautiful place from the pictures and I think, "Well that made the drive worth it." There is this big beautiful property and no cars and I am thinking, "This is strange.  It is already well past check in time". The "owner" drives up on a lawn tractor from  next door and right away he reminds me so much of someone from my past: looked like him, talked like him, acted like him and I felt this instant samskara triggering. I couldn't trust him. (I am assuming this very intense sense of warning came from my samskara). He takes us around this beautiful property to the office in the back? I comment on the gardening.  He tells me he has had an excellent gardener since inception as well as explaining and pointing out all the herbs and stuff planted ( I believe he is the gardener then and wonder why he just didn't admit to that. Afterall, we did see him drive up on a lawn tractor.) .  Anyway...we go into the office and we see it is a mess...so many pictures and stuff from "previous ownership" scattered all over the place. He then goes into great detail about how he got the place and what he did with it, great detail,  but the more he talks, the more this gut feeling in me gets stronger. Something doesn't feel right. I tell myself it is just because he reminds me so much of this untrustworthy person from my past. (remember...we are not to follow these feelings but neither are we to push them away...just be aware of them). Regardless,  I push away the feeling.  I just want to get to our room.  

devote yourself to the consciousness...be conscious...be aware of everything inside and out.

He then drops a bit of a bomb that our room is not in this building but in the barn out back. Huh? He takes us to a literal barn out back.  Okay so I am trying desperately, as we approach the barn,  to stay conscious of the experience outside as well as what is going on inside me. I am experiencing a big "WTFork?'  I remind myself that I still want to stay positive and enjoy this adventure  by accepting all that unfolds in front of us.  Maybe the rooms are rustic in there but very nice?  I am committed to letting things be as they are....but man when we walk into the barn and see other people there and are shown the community fridge, then our little room, and the shared half bath outside the room that we "might not have to share with others depending on bookings". ...I am having a really hard time accepting what is.

I am also getting some strange vibes from the owner.   He is telling us things like how his internet got compromised and people were checking in on his business because of it. And I thought, "Oh paranoid schizophrenic? Is this another Bates Motel scrape?" ( not that I judge schizophrenia in that way). I am also wondering, "Where is the bloody shower?" There was no mention of a shower.  This is crazy.  Sure it was below seasonal rates elsewhere...but we paid way too much to be stuck in the middle of nowhere in a barn with no shower ( or TV...which I was okay with). (Apparently there was a communal shower downstairs to be shared with 6 other guests...we discovered that on our way out).  It is very obvious then  that this is a hostel and not a hotel...not the comfy get away I was expecting.  I became conscious of how disappointed, how uncomfortable I felt at the prospect of staying there.  I was also aware of how I was talking to myself, "Come on! So D. made a mistake and booked you into a hostel. You call yourself a yogi and you cannot stay in a hostel for the night?  You are preferring! So what...you have to share a shower...so what...it isn't what you expected.  This is what it is. Make the best of it. " 

Still, there was something stronger brewing in me. This "be a yogi"  rationalization was competing with the intuition in me that kept saying, "There is something strange about this! Maybe it was not D.'s mistake afterall. The owner cannot be trusted! Go!  Just go!"   I struggled and when D. said, "I am half minded to cut our losses and leave." I was like, "Really? Can we?" But he was debating...too.  (D. is the type of guy who wouldn't mind sleeping in a barn and sharing a shower with others he didn't know.) I had to remind him and myself, between my fluxes of guilt and shame over my intense desire to leave even if it meant failing  in my mission of being a yogi, "we are not camping and we didn't sign up for a hostel visit." 

 if that is what is there, that is what is there.

I allowed a test of the owner's trustworthiness to be the deciding factor.  He told D. that he sent a three page confirmation letter with details about the accomodation and a list of surrounding restaurants to D. on booking which D. did not get. (Of course not, right? We would have discovered then that it was a hostel. And from what we could tell from our drive there, there was no restaurant for miles.)  So we asked him to send it to us again...giving him the email for the second or third time.  He didn't send it...so without even asking for our money back we left the key and took off. 

Now,  I watched myself as we drove off...snapping a bit at D. ( still wasn't quite sure if it was his error or the owner's deception that brought us there), feeling guilt and shame for not toughing it out and accepting the turn of events as they were, I observed myself ruminating over the samskara triggering and questioning if that was why I couldn't trust this guy and then feeling bad for my lack of openness and compassion. I observed myself feeling guilty for losing the money we paid for the room and how wasteful that was and there was a moment of "Maybe you should have been assertive and asked for the money back"...but something told me that was not the thing to do here...just getting out of there was. So I watched as these thoughts and feelings came up and then as they left while the distance between us and that place got wider. I watched myself being a neurotic human, and I watched myself being a wise human. And I continued to be present as to what was happening around us as we drove.  It was all pretty cool. Maybe not blissful, lol, but cool.

just let the object of consciousness be what it is...and in time if you leave it alone it will leave you

It took us another three hours and many, many kilometres  to find accomodation for the night. I observed a collective frustration in D. and I as we drove.  There was even a question about us having to spend the night in the car which I observed, I would have preferred to staying in that other place. Crazy but we finally found a place with vacancies.  And as I lay in bed after it all I watched as that feeling of disappointment over a broken expectation arose in me. I didn't follow it and I didn't push it away.  I just staid conscious until it left. I watched it all.  

The yogi puts the emphasis on the consciousness....rather than on the objects of consciousness

Just being conscious and aware of consciousness is pretty cool.  We do not have to work so hard to change our experiences. We just need to let them be what they are. As I reflect back, I see I was very much a yogi, more concerned about my consciousness than I was about the objects of consciousness. I didn't fail, afterall. 

Consciousness is the mystery of this universe...a ray of divinity...name of God: Sat Chit Ananda which is also the nature of consciousness

Consciousness is Sat-eternal, Chit-consciousness: aware of being aware, Ananda: bliss

Michael A. singer/Temple of the Universe ( July 31, 2023) Consciousness and the Objects of Consciousness. https://tou.org/talks/

Hanging Out With the Witness

 That which is not expressed by speech, but that by which speech is expressed: know that to be God, not what people here adore. 

That which is not thought by the mind, but that by which the mind thinks: know that to be God, not what people here adore.

That which is not seen by the eye, but that by which the eye sees: know that to be God, not what people here adore.

That which is not heard by the ear, but that by which the ear hears: know that to be God, not what people here adore.

That which is not breathed by the breath, but that by which the breath  breathes: know that to be God, and not what people here adore. 

Kena Upanishads ( English translation by Sanderson Beck) 

I just read another translation of these beautiful words from the Upanishads at the same time I was listening to Michael A. Singer speak about the consciousness that watches the objects of consciousness. How many of us are still getting all tangled up in those things that are unfolding before us and in us, I wonder, without even questioning that which is observing them, that by which they come to be. How many of us adore the object of consciousness more than consciousness? 

It is a life of confusion and suffering we live when we shine a narrowly focused light on that which is right in front of us or in us at the exclusion of everything else.  It a life of suffering we encounter when we see the body and what it picks up with its senses, its "desire" for internal comfort,  as all there is and fail to notice or be aware of the light itself or where it comes from. We are so busy hanging out with the objects of consciousness, we neglect to hangout with and get to know the witness.

This witness is who we are at the deepest level.  It is a vast ocean of peace, joy, love.  It is Sat Chit Ananda.  It is consciousness. Consciousness is the light we are using to observe the objects in front of us, be they external or internal. That Light is God.  It is what we are seeking. When we are so caught up in the material world ...what is picked up by the senses...we seek a certain false peace and happiness from these objects, from grasping and clinging, from preferring and desiring one over the other, from pushing away that which is unpleasant and therefore  resisting what is.  We are so focused on what is said,  what is thought, what is seen, what is heard and on the state of the body's biological processes...we fail to ask , "What is that by which these things are happening?  What is observing these things?" The focus on the objects of consciousness gets us all tangled up in them and pull us away from the peaceful, love-filled center of consciousness....from that which we are truly seeking: God.

Hmmm!  Witnessing what is happening in front of us and in us is an important first step to getting us untangled and back to this center of who we are, to God. Ram Dass also explains what this Witness Consciousness is in Be Here Now.  He states it is a part of the rational mind to be used only until we get to the "doorway" where the "eternal witness" ( Sat Chit Ananda) rests.  Once we get through that doorway we will merge with the One. The ego/rational mind Witness consciousness is the "eye" or 'I' which sees though it does not look.  It is nonjudgmental ...doesn't judge what it sees as good or bad, right or wrong, should be or shouldn't be...it just notes what is.  It not only notices what is happening "out there" but also what is happening "in here" in reaction or response,

Once we are untangled and no longer caught up in our focus on the objects of consciousness....we are free to be consciousness. That is what we really want.

All is well! 

Ram Dass (n.d.) Remember: Be Here Now.  Kindle Edition

Kena Upanishads as translated by Sanderson Beck https://www.san.beck.org/Upan1-Kena.html#:~:text=the%20eye%20sees%3A-,know%20that%20to%20be%20God%2C%20not%20what%20people%20here%20adore,not%20what%20people%20here%20adore.

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( July 31, 2023) Consciousness and the Objects of Consciousness. https://tou.org/talks/

Does Religion Serve A Purpose

 

Another Question; Another Attempt at an Answer!

Does religion serve a purpose?

All is well!

A Stick or Not-A-Stick?

If you call it a stick, you affirm. If you call it not a stick, you negate. Beyond affirmation and negation what would you call it? 

Tai- Hui

What does that little question inspire in you? W hat do you think it means and how can you apply it to how you approach your life? 

All is well. 

Are You a Victim of Your Emotion?

 Most of the world is like a mental hospital. Some persons are sick with jealousy, others with anger, hatred, passion. They are victims of their habits and emotions. But you can make your home a place of peace.

Yogananda

Victim of Emotion? 

We focus so much on our emotions, don't we? We base most of our decisions about who we are going to be with, what we are going to do, what we are going to say or how we are going to live based on our emotions. We often ask: "Well how does this make me feel or how will it make me feel? How do I feel around this or that person or this or that situation? " We tend to move towards that which makes us  feel "good, comfortable and safe," and away from that which makes us feel "bad, uncomfortable or in danger".  Our emotions are the meter by which we often make our decisions.  We move according to that meter. 

That seems to be the perfectly healthy thing to do. Right?  We seek life experiences that feel good or that we assume will make us feel good. Well what happens when we cannot change the world out there to meet our emotional meter of okayness?  We suppress, repress or push away our feelings. (Both clinging to and pushing away equate to stuffing emotion inside). 

"Well...if  I can not avoid that person over there that "makes me angry", I will stuff my anger so I don't have to feel it now.  Or if  I cannot change the fact that something painful happened in  the past, I will stuff that emotional experience." 

In our love/hate relationship with our emotions, we often ask "How and what can I do to taste the good feelings and avoid the bad?" Seldom, however, do we ask, "What are these emotions that I am giving all my life power to? What are emotions?" 

What are Emotions? A Spill Off of Shakti at Work?

Michael A. Singer, in the below podcast, tells us that an emotion is simply the spill over from the purification process of the shakti doing its work.

Say what, Crazy Lady?

Do you remember what Shakti is? Shakti is the natural flowing state of energy that is who you really are. It is a river of peace, joy, bliss and love flowing from the Source. It is pure consciousness and awareness. It is Sat Chit Ananda and it is who you are.  In this body and mind/personality you call "me" is this infinite source of energy attempting to pour through and out of you. It is not emotion.  It is a state of being in its purest form below your emotion and other mental modifications.

Blocked

 This energy, that is meant to flow freely in abundance, however, is blocked by all you samskaras...knots of accumulated "stuff you stuffed". All those experiences  are what you clung to because they were pleasant enough for you to want to repeat the "feeling";  and all those things that happened that were painful enough for you not to want to feel it again. You consciously and semi-consciously pushed all this stuff down into a box called "psyche" and this created some major damning.  Consciousness focuses on the noisiest...and the stuff in this box is noisy, as is the psyche's attempt and deep desire for you, as this idea of a separate little "me",  to avoid more pain and discomfort. So most of your  focused awareness shines  on what is in these boxes and on  how to keep  repeating the "good stuff"(= positive emotions) and how to prevent the "bad"  stuff (= negative emotion) from coming up,  and on how to avoid any other unpleasant experiences out there that might bring similar discomfort. Our attention goes on repeating good emotions and avoiding bad emotions, reinforcing these damns we built that block the shakti flow.  

Shakti, however, is meant to flow. So it flows...its energy is constantly hitting these knots or psyche boxes loosening the lid so some of the "stuffed stuff" gets out. We experience a certain turbulence on one side of the box as the force of Shakti hits it and a certain letting go of some stuffed feeling on the other. This is what we call an emotional release. It can be pleasant or unpleasant. It can lift the "me" up or it can bring it down into the pits of despair or somewhere in between.  But if we decide to live according to these emotions, like many of us are doing, it is like riding a rollercoaster that is only going to make us sick in the long run. 

Emotions are not your natural state,  We do not need to fret over them. They are neither "good or bad" so we do not need to honor them or suppress them.  They are just a bit of spill off from the purification process.

Purification process?

Yeah, purification process.  This Shakti is meant to flow within you and out of you as it flows within and without everything in this universe. It wants to be free so it is pushing and pushing and pushing against your psyche's boxes attempting to empty them and eventually get rid of the whole trunk that is in its way.  These emotions you are experiencing are a sign of Shakti at work. Its force is loosening the lid and releasing that which is within, a little at a time.  It is cleansing you of that which does not serve you and that which is in the way of you experiencing who you really are. When you are experiencing emotions, know it is a healing  thing.  Shakti is working to purify you. 

The temporary release of some pleasant stuffed emotion may feel like something wonderful when it brings you up...but...don't get too attached because it will not keep you up. It will come down quick. (You are riding a roller coaster, remember, when you are following your emotions).  It may also feel like crap when the painful stuff is released, yes, but don't resist it. The more you avoid the tendency to stuff back down and reseal that box, the cleaner you will become inside and the freer you will be to experience Shakti. There is peace, joy, bliss and love in this shakti flow that doesn't fluctuate like your emotions do. You can float in that. That is your home. 

So what do I do crazy lady?

You do not need to do anything.  Just allow the emotions to come up when they come and be released when it is time for them to be released. Allow them to come up and go with each wave of the purification process. Allow yourself to be cleansed. Make your home a place of peace. 

A Yogi is the rare soul that who has learned  to sit through the natural processes of purification.

All is well.

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( July 30, 2023) Understanding Emotions. https://tou.org/talks/

Karma is Not the Problem

 Karma-the memory of experience-is the only thing that can bring wisdom to you, and it is the only thing that can bind you- and it is the one thing that can so heavily poison your life and destroy you.  Karma is not the problem-how you carry it is.

Sadhguru

Two Words: Karma and Impetus

I woke up with two words on my mind.  I could see the words...I could hear the words being repeated in my head as I got out of bed and began my daily routine.  The first word was "karma".  Now that is not surprising as I have been thinking about "karma" for a long time, wanting to understand it both at a personal level and on a deeper level. (Sometimes, it feels like I am living off some 'bad' karma and I want to do what I can to "pay off this debt" for myself and others. Of course, I know I do not understand  karma enough with my westernanized mind.)  The second word is "impetus".  Now that one surprised me? It was just there bopping around in my head, twisting up my tongue a little bit because it is not a word I use at all.  In fact, I wasn't even sure what the word meant.  Why were these two words floating around in my head this morning, at the exclusion of so much else? Do they have anything to do with each other? I had to find out.

Family Suffering: A Karmic Debt?

Before I had a chance to find out,  I was reminded of the suffering of my children.  My adult children are suffering so much, making choices leading to more suffering and it literally feels like my heart is breaking as I look upon that suffering.  I always feel, when I am reminded of what seems to be their inescapable suffering, that this is some form of karmic debt "I", as "me",  am paying off.  Sure it is their pain and their choices  but because I identify as their mother, because I see them as "my" children, becasue "I" feel their pain....I see us all trapped  under this dark karmic cloud.  When I ask why is there so much pain and why are all of them suffering so much  at the same time,  I could go through a host of common denominators, with my parenting: what I did or didn't do, being the big one. But I also see through past memories  the circumstances of our lives together  unfolding in a way  that seemed so circumstantial with little input from "me" as this "I" they see as mother. In other words, I take full responsibility for anything I did or didn't do that led them to where they are now but I do see how that is only a tiny bit of it.  Why then are they suffering so?  Why has this big dark cloud landed over us and why has it followed us around for so long, even when I am so devoted to my sadhana? It is one thing that I suffer from my personal woes but to see them suffering...man, that is hard to watch. Sigh! 

So, I wanted to know in Yogic terms if I was paying off a karmic debt and if so how could I pay it off sooner. Willing to do the work required etc.  So that is why, I suppose, the words were following me out of bed this morning. 

Now according to Oxford Languages, Karma is destiny or fate following as effect from cause. And Impetus is the force that makes something happen or happen more quickly. In most of our limited understanding of things, here in the east, karma is that force that makes things happen, right? These words are pointing in the same direction: What force is causing this suffering to take place? My limited mind says: Karma. 

Then I ask, what is the cause of this effect?  Followed by  the old egoic question, "What have "I" done to deserve this? (Yes ego always brings it back to little "me" and "my children" is an idea that belongs to little me. ) 

Carrying a Core Belief is Karma

 Like many people I am still caught up in the idea that Life is doing this to me ( through my children...the softest and most vulnerable spot I have ) .  I have advanced so far in my practice but there is still a core belief within me that I am being punished by some force out there for some terrible deed I did but cannot remember in this life or in another. I am working off my debt and the more I practice the more suffering I see in my children becasue I am "consciously" working it off?? 

Sadhguru often reminds us that we are 99 % living our lives unconsciously and we are not taking responsibility for what we are doing, thinking and saying. So wrapped up in these memories we have from this life, and what we inherited from the lives our ancestors lived. We have developed likes and dislikes and we tramp around the planet experiencing life through these memories. and gravitating towards our likes...moving away from the dislikes.  This, he tells us, is Karma.  

You are the source of your life, your karma.

Inside Not Outside

So the impetus that keeps this maternal body going is not something outside me...it is inside.  It is all about how I carry these memories and if I am still allowing them (and my desire) to pull me here or there.  My children are living out their own fate based on their memories as well.  These memories, of course, are our samskaras.  And Yoga is all about freeing ourselves from them. We can be imprisoned in this type of "karmic debt" or we can be free of it by our willingness to be so, followed by a new impetus to move forward in a higher/deeper direction. Hmmm! 

There is so much to learn, so much wisdom to gain.  with every bit of challenge or suffering we witness. 

All is well! 

Sadhguru ( 2019) Does Good Karma Cancel Out Bad Karma.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnoB01msarw

Enjoying the Moment? Or resisting It?

 Start honoring and respecting that the moment in front of you has the right to be the way it is.

Michael A. Singer

You having a good time in your life?  Are you experiencing the  thrill of being alive on this planet that Singer often refers to as "God's idea of Disney World".  Some would answer, "Not really." and others might  say, "Yeah sure...I enjoy it sometimes...when things work out the way I want them to."  And most of us would agree that that is perfectly normal and okay: to live by a state of conditional happiness depending on what Life dishes out. If we get what we have decided is what we want and remain free of those things or experiences we decided we don't want...Life is a magical ride. Right? If, however, we don't get what we want (or get it and lose it)...or if we are bombarded by all the things we don't want...it is expected and normal that we "can't"  enjoy being alive and that we get pretty  P &^%$ ed off that Life is being such a jerk? Right? 

That is how most of us operate. Yet, it is also why most of us are so miserable or at least not enjoying every moment we are alive.  It isn't Life that is the problem.  Life is just doing what Life does...based on the milion moments and million events and forces that lead it exactly where it is as it unfolds in front of us. Few or any of the reasons things are the way they are, have anything to do with us. (Life isn't designed to please us.)  It is our preferences, our desires, our aversions, our ideas of how it should be that is the problem.  You get that right?

Wanting this moment right here and right now to be anything other than what it is...is a waste of precious life energy.  First of all, it isn't going to be anything other than what it is. Secondly, denying its reality by attempting to push away or grasp at other moments is resistance. Resistance leads to suppression and repression which leads to more samskaras and blockages( stuffing)  that prevent the joy inside you from flowing. It isn't what Life is giving you that is the problem...it is your resistance of it, that is. 

Instead of resisting and demanding Life be something other than what it is, ( believe me...it won't be quick to oblige lol) we need to start finding our joy right here and right now, with whatever is unfolding. We need to let go of our desires and aversions and see the magic and beauty in all of it: 10,000 joys as well as the 10,000 sorrows. 

Joy comes from within...we need to open up to it by not closing to what Life is giving us to observe and  experience.

Hmm! I don't know about you but I want to enjoy, not suffer through, the remaining years I have on this planet! 

All is well. 

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( July 27, 2023) Enjoying Your Time on Earth. https://tou.org/talks/

The Higher Relationship

 I offer you peace. I offer you love. I offer you friendship.  I see your beauty. I hear your need. I feel your feelings. My wisdom flows from the Highest Source. I salute that source in you. Let us work together for unity and love.

Gandhi

Well Gandhi's request above is the highest form  we can hope to achieve in relationships and should be the vows uttered between most brides and grooms, between parents and children, between true friends between Guru and student, or  between anyone in what the  Course would refer to as a "special relationship". 

There is so much to consider about relationships and I am going to write more about this in the near future. ...but the big point we need to remember is that there is a deeper and higher purpose for relating other than what the romantic comedies on Net Flix teach us.  Our happiness and satisfaction in life  is never really about  the other person, nor is the happiness we attain in a relationship ever really about what the other person does or doesn't do.  

Huh? 

Well when we are still trapped by ego identification and the needs of "little me"  we look to the other "special" people in our lives to meet our "needs" .   In order to meet our needs they must meet or match the model we have of how they should be, based on our conditioned judgements and preferences. We are happy and in love, possibly believing we are reveling in the glow of our "soul mates",  when they are fitting beautifully into the model...but as soon as they do or say something that is not a part of our model, or even opposed to it...we freak... They and what they do become wrong, or bad. We have relationship conflict.  Many of us will even end our relationship at this point because it doesn't feed ego and its idea of how it should be. The problem is not the other person and what they do or don't do ...it is our need for models based on preferences and what we think this other person should be doing for us that is the problem.

Ram Dass, in the below linked podcast, reminds us we are all just " mechanical run off of old karma"trying to find our way back to Oneness ( whether we know it or not).  In order to work off our own karma, find our way back to the Highest Source, we need to let other people manifest into who they are in their own way...not in the way it suits "me" .  Allowing, accepting and honoring the divinity in each person despite their mechanical run off has little to do with them and everything to do with us. 

Hmm! So much more to say here but I will leave it at that.

All is well in my world. 

Ram Dass/ Be Here Now Network ( Sept, 2016) Episode 17- The Yoga of Relationships. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJXTyfa-cy4&t=986s

Learning to Let the Human Part of Experience Go

Devote your Life to something much greater than your little self

Michael A. Singer ( somewhat paraphrased??...not sure)

Are you at the point of your learning where you can appreciate and honor every experience Life hands you as a gift? Where you can recognize and be in awe of everything that unfolds in front of you even if it is an illness, a "loss" , and accident or a "broken heart"? Have you returned, yet, to the natural state of who you are?  Is your body expressing wellness? Is your mind expressing freedom from negativity, resistance, reactivity, judgement etc? And is your soul expressing the lightness and free flow of inspiration and creativity , love and joy as sat chit ananda because it has been unburdened of the samskaras personal mind has buried it under? 

Big questions, I know,  but whether we know it conceptually or not this is where we are heading and this is where we want to be as human beings.  We are more being than human and the process of realizing that and living that is our mission...(if there is such a thing as a purpose or mission to this existence). 

I am obviously not there yet.  But I did decide to focus more on the "being"  part of this life I have been given than the the "human" part.  I know I cannot deny the "human" in me.  I see the very active ego...the body I am in...the personality etc...that make me human but I am starting to realize that is such a tiny part of who I am.  It seemed like all I was, for decades, becasue it was all I was focusing on with my narrow angle lense but I am beginning to see how small it is, and what I have been neglecting to see when I was so focused on "me". There is so, so much more. Hmm!

That is my sadhana, my practice, my learning, now...to remove the addictive and restrictive attention from this human "me" and place it more on the "being" beneath these mind made concepts.  I want to return to the natural state of who I really am.

It is a process, let me tell ya, but I am getting there.  I really, really am.  I hope you are too.

All is well 

Inspired By: 

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( July 24, 2023) Working at the Root- Releasing Your Inner Problems. https://tou.org/talks/

The Beautiful Phenomena of Aging

 Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.

David Bowie

On my 60th birthday, instead of resisting, I find myself amazed with the beautiful phenomena of aging. I look at myself in pictures recently taken and see for sure the wrinkling of the skin, the greying of the hair, the cushioning around the waist ( that I affectionately refer to as my "estrogen fanny pack") but I also see an amazing being who has matured and grown past her identification with roles, and body image,  and her need to be "somebody" .  Though the personality and some of those ego things are still clinging and hanging around...for the most part I see so much  growth when I look at that 60 year old version of "me". 

At one time I feared aging and how it would disrupt the perfect image I wanted others to have of me.  Now it is like, "I care so much less about what you think of me than I used to."...that is very freeing.  Each wrinkle, each body change...I now look at with a certain degree of awe and curiosity, "Oh...wow! Look at that! This body is decaying as it is natural for it to do at this point of its existence.  Isn't that cool! Wonder what will happen next! " 

This all makes me realize that I am advancing away from this "thinking about life rather than being life" thing I have been doing most of my life.  I am stepping away from the effects of my somebody training, as Ram Dass refers to it in the below linked podcast.  I am becoming the person I always should have been. 

So cool, so grateful!

All is well.

Ram Dass Here/ Now Network- Episode 16- Little Schmoos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXiLYfa-vzE

Freedom From Self 2

 I answered this same question...again.  As one approaches 60 memory and recall is delayed lol. Anyway it offers a different take.

All is well!

Stinking Thinking

 

Thinking is more stinking than drinking....

Sufi Sam

Heaviness on the Soul

I woke up, for all kinds of reasons at 4 a.m..  I felt the "stink of think" , I guess.  Mind wanted to go to all kinds of outer world reasons for my waking up but I reduced it all to a "heaviness on my soul" rational. It then  went from a very quick and nonproductive , "What do I do to get rid of this heaviness?"  to a, "Why do I have this heaviness on my soul?"  And I knew, from my understanding of Yoga, it was all to do with mind. My puny personal mind, with all its reactions to what is going on around "me ", and its ingrained desire to do something, anything, to make "me" feel okay inside, was sitting heavily on "my"  soul! It has been in the way of me seeing or experiencing anything else.  It was in the way of Self.

Consciousness Distracted Away from Self by "Me"

The Self...this beautiful spacious mind... perfect consciousness...the one I share with the universe... soul...has been polluted by what Patanjali would refer to as mental modifications: ideas of "me", "my" dislikes and dislikes, this perception  and belief that 'little me' wasn't getting what it wanted from out there,  and the need to fix that. These are the typical problems of the personal mind. The trigger that poked the personal mind and stirred it up (when I almost had it down for a nap)was what is going on around me: situations and others I know I cannot control and fix but that are hovering around the 5 foot 4 bit of space I have been allotted to experience Life through.  This external world that has been surrounding this body and personal mind  I call "me" over the last few days has been very chaotic. So many circumstances, so many behaviours and expressions of pain from others, so many thoughts, so many feelings arising  in reaction to these circumstances....so right there in my face, demanding that I deal with them.  And on top of that  I had the experience of a "hurting heart" and a "troublesome mind" to deal with. Mind was so heavy as it sat there, plopped down on top of my spacious , precious soul. I couldn't see anything else. 

Don't Ask the Mind to Fix What It Has Broken...

So when I awoke in the wee hours of morning I, by  habit,  went right to my mind  and asked, "Why? Why am I so heavy ?"  Mind came up with so many events, circumstances, past and present,  to convince me that  it is all external. With some direction from the deeper part of me, squished beneath the weight, mind  condensed that all up to "You are so heavy because you  never seem to get what you want or need.  Your life is and has been so challenging."  Even the deeper part of me was questioning why there was so many challenging external issues to deal with.  It  asked this crazy, broken, overworked  mind to figure that one out. Mind, doing what it is programmed to do, dug down into its problem solving cupboards and came up with things like, "You are either such a mess inside, you are projecting a mess out there;  or it must be your karma debt or something that you are paying off. There has to be some reason why you are where you are in terms of circumstance etc" 

Meditate Instead.

 Mind was doing its best to answer and I  wanted, again by habit, to follow mind along that path but instead I sat up ( at what is believed to be the best time to meditate (between 4-7 am) ). I meditated. Instead of giving my overworked mind more "problems" to solve, more questions to answer (when really it is not capable of answering anything in a wholesome way)...I decided to focus on something other than "what mind was doing in reaction to my challenging and problematic life. " I brought my attention to  breath and to the sound of waking  robin song out there.  The mind was still heavy and demanding, weighing down on my soul, and attempting to pull me away in the habitual way it does with all the reasons from "out there" that were leading to this heaviness.  I had to keep reminding myself..."just thinking...just thought" and once I caught myself following my broken personal mind along these stories and thought streams, I brought myself back to breath and the lovely music that was getting louder and louder outside my window.  My mantra was, "I can relax into this until it passes through. I can relax into this until it passes through." 

More Stinking than Drinking

I relaxed and  eventually "the disturbance" did pass through me and out of me through the tears I cried and the conscious breaths I breathed out. I meditated maybe for forty minutes or an hour, and throughout it all I went back and forth from the personal mind to the universal mind.  I would be focusing on something far greater than "my problematic me" mental modification. Then I would slip into thought streams and get carried away.  I would wake up in these streams of story and narrative, and I would crawl out,  focusing again on my breath and the robin song....until I slipped again.  The process involved a lot of slipping back into the personal mind and a lot of crawling out into the universal one. 

Bring Your Attention to What is Underneath 

It is all about where we put our attention, right? When I first woke up my attention was on my personal mind, this "little me" and its likes and dislikes, the heaviness that sat on my soul blocking the natural flow of peace, joy, love and bliss. As long as I was focusing on this heaviness, I couldn't see anything else. Consciousness tends to focus on that which is the noisiest...the squeaky wheel. There is nothing noisier, Singer reminds us, than ego with its  hurting heart and  disturbed mind.  That is why it is constantly getting our attention, pulling us away from peace which naturally exists below these mental modifications.  When we focus on ego, consciousness does not see itself there beneath it.  The focus becomes so narrow, so constricted and our life 'experience' becomes the same.  As long as I was focusing on the blob of ego trouble that was sitting on top of  Self, I couldn't see or experience anything beyond ego's heart and mind. This heaviness just sat right there in the middle of my consciousness blocking the view of the spaciousness  that is always there beneath it all. I needed to take my attention of it.

I knew better than to try to stop the mind, beat it off or reprimand it for doing what I asked it to do. I just knew that focusing on it was the problem and removing my attention from it was the answer. Once we remove attention from it...we free souls so the natural flow of who we really are can emerge. We purify the mind, by removing our attention from the veil of personal mind, to get to the purity of Self. 

Hmm! 

All is well in my world. 

The purified mind is no different than the Self.

Rama Krishna

Michael A. Singer ( July 23, 2023) Going Beyond the Distraction of the Ego Mind. https://tou.org/talks/ 

Welcome to "My" Classroom

 Once again...welcome to my house. Come freely; go safely and leave something of the happiness you bring.

Bram Stoker, Dracula

Over 100 readers daily again.  I do not know what is up with that. lol I mention I am back down to zero readers one day and the next I have over 100...mention I have 500 readers another day and the next day down to 1. I am riding the wave,  I guess...up and down...as we do through Life. All good.

Welcome readers, whoever you may be!  I can't see you and I am not sure of your intentions. Not sure if you slipped into the back row of the classroom to hide out or by mistake.  "You mean this isn't Advanced Calculus 101?" (Believe me...I am no math teacher!) Maybe you are looking to gain an "easy credit" and couldn't care less about what I had to say.  Hate to disappoint you...no credits offered here. Or maybe you registered for this course because you liked the title and thought "Man, yeah.  I can get into that!" Regardless, just know that I have no more right to be up here in front of the classroom than you have.  I am more of a student teacher than a full fledged tenured professor. So take whatever I say with a grain of salt.  Ask yourself, "Does that make sense to something inside me?" That is what it is all about, right? You learning from you. If I do anything..I  just point you, I hope, inward. 

Regardless of why you are here, thank you for stopping by. Make yourself at home. 

All is well. 

. 

Get Over Yourself Already!

Until you are done with your relationship with self, you will have no relationship with God. 

Michael A. Singer

Singer tells us, in the below linked video, that when we are so focused on this "me" we think we are, and all its likes and dislikes, this irrational need to give it what it wants,  and figuring out how to control everything "out here" so it can feel safe and okay on the six foot spot of earth it takes up...we are ignoring God.  Wayne Dyer once said that Ego...was an acronym for Edging God Out. And that is what ego tends to do...well what our focus on it does. Because it really isn't the ego's fault...egos will be egos, doing all kinds of silly things...but for some reason our consciousness is staring at this individual ego we created and call "me", with  all its drama as if watching a really bad, but really addictive, soap opera on TV.  We are so glued to this small  screen and what happens to the main  character on it...we don't see everything else that is happening on this planet, or in this universe.  Our idea of an individual  life is that soap opera.  It becomes, "all about me!"  

We are just one of eight billion screens or human lives, one of trillions and trillions other forms of life ...on one small planet in one galaxy of 30 billion.  Come on! How can we be the only thing to focus on? Yet, here we are thinking we are the sun the solar system is rotating around.  How crazy is that?

Now, God...however you see God...created this universe, right?  It had to come from some Source...so yes He/ She /It created us too...but we were not the only things created.  Why do we pray to God as if we were? (If we pray that is).  "Please God make this or that thing turn out this or that way for "me"". If our prayers are answered, we are grateful and our faith in a loving God is strengthened.  If they are not answered to our exact specifications...we feel cheated and see God as an unfair and unkind Source.  Imagine.  We can't seem to see the infinite amount of other things God is taking care of other than us and the space we take up. As if our lives and how they turn out, in the form of circumstances, is all this Great Being has to take care of. Come on! We are here for a blink of an eye in eternity...in comparison to the 4.5 billion years the earth has been around ... 80 years is a pretty short time span, right? It isn't all about "me" and the more we buy into that idea that it is, the farther and farther we get away from God...the less of Life we get to truly experience. 

We need to train our minds, our consciousness, to stop staring at these little selves. We need to redirect the  gaze elsewhere.  Only then will we see and be aware of all the joy and all this sorrow this Life entails...not just for us but for everyone and everything! The moment consciousness stops staring at "me", with all its likes and dislikes, that is freedom from suffering, Trying to appease the "me" is what is causing all our unease with Life.  When we break this addictive and distracting focus, we are free. That is enlightenment!! That is peace. 

Whether we know it on the conceptual level or not, we want a relationship with God.  It is who we are! But we cannot see that beauty and that magnificence behind the wall we built with ego...a wall we keep building, protecting, decorating.  God is and always was behind that wall we are staring at and in order to reconnect, we need to remove the wall.  Singer reminds us that there is only one way to be okay: "Get over yourself!" Our focus on "me" is the wall!

Hmm! Something to think about. 

All is well in my world.

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( July 21, 2023) Getting Real. https://tou.org/talks/

A Little on Shakti

 

If a person realizes his position and stays in his own self, things that are to happen will  happen. Things that are not to happen will not happen. The shakti that is in the world is only one. All these troubles arise if we think we are separate from the shakti.

Ramana Maharshi

What is Shakti? 

Despite their imperfect appearance, ( I look a bit like death on a stick in this one), these videos involve a great impromptu exercise...no preparation, no time to think...Goal: just answer a "deep"  question and answer it within ten minutes. No editing!  The answers and the video quality are never perfect, and either am I as the answerer :) That is a part of the point. It can't be about ego.  Knowing that my readership has gone from 500/day to 0 soothes my still clinging ego a bit. It is all about sharing the learning that comes from the deepest part of me....and not about how I appear as a"me".

All is well

Healthy Desire and Manifesting?

 The universe is full of abundance and opportunity. All we have to do is acknowledge what is available, believe in ourselves and take action. 

Dalai Lama

Is there such thing as healthy desire or healthy manifesting?

Going back to the questions I committed myself to answering over the next little while, I find myself pondering the answer for this one. 

Is there such thing as healthy desire?  We know that desire /preference is the root of all suffering.  We got that, right? Suffering comes when  these individual ideas of self we created  get in the way of Life...It comes from attempting to step up as an ego, a self concept, in an attempt to control something we will never be able to control so it suits us better as these egoic self concepts of "me". Desires are based on attachments and expectation we have about how life should be in order for us to be okay as these "little mes". 

Now with  so called "manifesting" , it is all about the feeling we get when we have these things, right? Not so much about what it is we are trying to manifest.  We are to focus on feeling what it would be like to have these things. For example, it is not the wealth...not even the sense of financial security we get upon the visualization of having the wealth we are trying to manifest ...it is security in general, of having enough,  the feeling of worry free peace...right?  The "wealth" is simply a tool for getting us there, for opening us up to what is inside us.  So what if we just desire...attempt to manifest through visualization..."peace, security, a sense of having and being enough" ...is that healthy?  And then of course we need to realize that  what we want and seek...does not come from  "out there".  Though material wealth may come from the external world..."peace, security, a sense of having enough" is internal...just a matter of tapping into it.  How do we tap into it? We open up.  

How do we open up? Sometimes a pleasant experience like  a sunset  or manifesting wealth may open us up. But the real opening up comes from the effort we put into not closing...not closing when it rains...not closing when we have no money in our external experience. 

Opening up is healthy.  What is unhealthy is being  attached to the thing that opened us up as if it were the magic key.  The real key is not in manifesting pleasant experiences but the willingness to do the work on ourselves so we stay open to what is already inside us and to what is in front of us. The sunset and the wealth are pleasant but insignificant really. There is nothing right or wrong about experiencing them.  Like all things on the material plane...they are impermanent...they will  come and they can go. We can enjoy them but if we become attached to them, seeking them as the source of our happiness and sense of being okay etc...then that can become unhealthy pretty quickly. What happens when it is there time to leave?  If we feel we need them in order to open or stay stay open...if we feel we need to  close when we encounter their polar opposites...rain and poverty...to be okay inside...than that is unhealthy.  

Okay, I write and there is this hope and dream still percolating in me that I am working on diminishing.  I would like to be published. I would like the financial security, the open door to teaching, sharing and connecting  that I assume it will bring me. Why? Because I believe publication will allow me to "make it as a writer". I want that feeling of worry free peace, of accomplishment, of knowing that I am doing what I am here to do, of enthusiasm, joy I still mistakenly believe "making it as a writer"  will give me.  It is the feeling I want...not whether or not some editor somewhere decides to publish my stuff! I don't write for that reason..I don't.  I write because something in me wants to come out on the paper...it is a purely internal motivation...The  remains of the ego still clinging tells me to use it though...use it to get what it wants. Ego says successful writing can bring external things like...money, recognition, opportunity etc.  I don't need those things...I want the feelings of peace and joy I assume having them will bring. "Go the long indirect materialized route to inner satisfaction" lol....is what ego is telling me to do with my writing.  When I simply get joy from writing. Why? Because I am open when I write.  I am open to that amazing flow of Shakti within me Hmm! 

Desire and manifesting  is still confusing for me, as this writer with ego still around.  I wrote my sister's story for the joy of writing it, for her...it was done with internal motivation.  But yesterday I spent grueling hours getting a sample ready to submit...and I don't know if it became an ego thing then or not.  If I am  desiring and attempting to manifest a publication here, is that ego or spiritual?  Is it okay if it is both? My major goal right now...is self realization and the end of suffering I assume it will bring...not publication.  But does that mean, I don't submit, that I don't attempt to publish?  Can the submission process be a part of my practice?  I am learning to detach from outcome.  Once my submission  is out...I let go. That is a great practice. 

But what about if we desire to get beyond these attachments and expectations to whatever we attempt to manifest, to end suffering once and for all?  What if we want to manifest a higher state of being with Source, a realization of true Self.  That is a still a desire isn't it? To me, that is the only healthy desire to pursue.

Hmm! I know I am rambling but this is a question I still need to ponder for a while.

All is well

Life is just wind

 

Life is just wind...

let it blow through.

Don't guard the doorway of  the flimsy  house you built,

 selecting what shall enter and what will not.  

Don't waste your energy fretting over 

which of nature's elements  to allow in 

and which to slam the door on 

in fear of what these winds might do.

Let it all in...

Life is just wind,

let it blow through.

Whether the  fingers tapping at the shutters

belong to  a hurricane, threatening destruction,

or to a soft breeze bringing comfort...  

open up...

let it all in. 

Life is just wind...

let it blow through.

Open the doors to your heart and let Life enter,

let it blow in whatever way it needs to blow,

let it do whatever  it needs to do,

and then watch it leave

taking all the stuffed and stale with it

through the open windows of  acceptance.

Stand there and watch,

stand there and feel all that it brings with it

and all that it takes away.

Let it all in...

Life is just wind...

let it blow through

Bend with it, 

don't tense up  against it,

for it is the branch that resists the wind that breaks.

Refuse to be that branch. Refuse to break. 

Bend. Relax. Allow. 

If Life  brings soothing comfort, 

relax, allow and be grateful,

if it brings pain and destruction, 

relax, allow and be grateful...

take what ever it gives you to God

and it will do the same

with what it takes from you. 

Let it all in...

Life is the wind....

let it blow through.

Let it cleanse away the cobwebs and purify you

Let it blow away the walls of this house you built on sand

if it so needs to...

you are not the dust and debris,

you are not this house you guard so vigilantly .

You are the wind...

let it all in.

Life is the wind...

let it blow through.

Stay open,

so the  wind can blow  right through you.

Allow it to take whatever it needs to take

to get you to God.. 

Let it all in...

An imperfect take on what I heard from the below  podcast. 

All is well.

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( July 18, 2023) Turning Resistance to Acceptance. https://tou.org/talks/

• 
  

Manifesting Light with Hope

Hope is being able to see there is light despite all of the darkness.

Desmond Tutu

The Lure of Hope

Hmm!  I have gotten to the point of  my learning where I seriously began to question the value and the unwholesome lure of hope in "my" little version of  life.  I have spent my life, until the point where I began to awaken,  addicted to hope.  I spent my moments in my head dreaming and fantasizing about what life would be like for me once I got this or that thing, achieved this or that status or state, was loved by this or that person.  I was so pulled into the visualization, positive affirmation and the manifesting culture.  It was like I was surviving the now by telling myself, "Okay I am not that happy now but I will be, I will be once I....".  

I had "hope" for some something better up there.  It filled me with a certain energy...a certain positive lift. Still, I was caught in one big thought stream about the future. And we know that the future is nothing more than an "idea" right?  The future never comes.  When tomorrow comes it is today! 

Hope is Not a Spiritual Thing 

I heard the great teachers speak about this as an unwholesome  way of "thinking" ...keeping us from experiencing the only Life there truly is....the "now" and it finally sunk in.  I put away my vision boards and my positive thinking sticky notes. I started settling in to...appreciating and honoring "what is" and not asking it to be any more or any different than what it is.  

This is good right?  This is a healthy way to approach Life as a yogi right? 

But...

It did bring peace, for sure. But it, this "accepting what is",  also brought me down into the negative focus  of what was actually happening and unfolding  around me. Life circumstance was challenging.  I mean, I more than accepted it and all the challenges but what was, was dark and heavy, it seemed , with so little light. My energy levels went down with this focus on this challenging "now".  There seems to be, without hope, no end to this challenge and dark time. So, as I accept and find peace with what is...my energy levels are low.  This "me" that is still around experiencing this...is lacking in the energy, enthusiasm, light, fun, bliss that hope once brought.  The thoughts are negative. This "now",  as necessary and beautiful as it is in its challenges and difficulties,  is not "fun".  I am not "enjoying" it.

 Hope , though it was actually more of  an ego mind game, an escape from this moment and what was, taking me to some future fantasy that never truly existed...did put a little "zip" into my day to day experience. It lifted me from low energy into a light that was "up there somewhere". It took my thoughts from the negative to the positive.  Focusing on the things I mistakenly thought would be responsible for my happiness, allowed me to experience happiness even if it was only fantasy based.  I mean, I know the cause for happiness and unhappiness is internal not external!  That it is all about whether I am opening or closing  but for some reason when I looked at the house with glass windows on the ocean shore that I pasted on a vision board...I opened. It was easier to open.  I felt happy!  It is not the house that I wanted or needed.  It is the happiness...that sense of being okay where I was...of being fulfilled, at ease...the opening up experience ...that I want and need. Hope about being able to manifest happiness into my life, regardless of what  is truly opening or keeping my heart open, allows for an opening to more positive energy. When I continuously stare at what is...which is for me right now...mostly dark and challenging ( that is the reality  of my life situation),  my focus is negative, my energy is downcast and negative. I need to raise that focus, lift my eyes to a light that I can't quite see right now.  That is where hope comes in. For the longest time, I felt there was something wrong with me for feeling the way I felt without hope.  Wanting to be a true yogi, I repressed and suppressed my desire for hope in my life! 

So can hope serve a purpose for the yogi who realizes that the only Life is happening right here, right now? 

Michael A. Singer in the below linked podcast tells us it does.  He mentions that hope , at a certain beginning level of our awakening, can lift us from negative focus to positive focus. A positive focus is always more wholesome than a negative focus. ...hopes and dreams are not spiritual but they are better than negative thinking. So we can use hope and our dreams of manifesting something better in difficult times to lift the energetic focus and rise above the negativity.  Once we are established there, we won't need hope any more.  We simply learn to accept, appreciate and relax into what is. 

The Cautious Use of Hope

The point to remember though, is not to get so attached to hope and a future focus that we are following the ego away from "what is" or from Self again.  Yes,  hope serves a purpose in the unevolved mind of bringing us from negativity to a certain energetic positivity.  It allows consciousness to focus upward instead of downward. It can help to open us a bit...but it is only a temporary remedy. Like the pain medication one takes  so they can find enough relief to get back to the business of living, we can use hope to get back to the business of awakening. One doesn't want to get addicted to that pain medication, though,  and start living for it! One doesn't want to become addicted to hope.  It is a temporary fix only!

Hmm! I feel this tremendous relief knowing that I do not have to stay focused on this darkness of my present situation.  I see it, I accept it, I embrace it for all that it gives me but it is okay if I look ahead a bit to where there might be a bit more light.  I will every now and again think about  that house on the ocean....or see myself doing a book signing for a recent publication...or standing on a stage sharing all this learning with others, for teh feeling it gives me, knowing full well that the actual thing I want may never materialize.  That is okay...if it is ego derived I don't want it to happen. What will materialize with my awakening...is that feeling of peace, joy, enthusiasm, love and wholeness I get when I see myself there.  That open heart and being is what I truly hope to manifest!  That is where the light comes from. 

All is well.

Michael. A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( July 16, 2023) Giving Great Meaning to Every Event. https://tou.org/talks/

Hooked on "It is all about Me"

 Transcendence gets you beyond ego. If you go beyond ego, you see this all in a more decent perspective and you start to put the pieces together.  We haven't done that yet. Not as a civilization.

Edgar Mitchell

As an astronaut, Mitchell saw first hand what Michael Singer often uses to bring us back to reality: the vastness of the universe and how small we are in it. Our ego and all the problems it creates in its attempt to bring everything back to "me, my, and mine" is statistically insignificant in the big scheme of things.  Mitchell saw that clearly when he was in outer space returning form the moon and looking down at the little blue planet we call earth. It was his moment of awakening from this addictive focus so many of us are trapped in, a focus on "little me"  and its likes and dislikes at the exclusion of all other things. 

Our consciousness, which is so great and so expansive, becomes contracted and small when we focus it on our petty egos.We begin to believe we are this ego and nothing more...that everything is about "me" ...when there is so much more besides us to focus on. When we stare at ego we diminish what our consciousness can do.  We can learn to stop focusing on it ...we can learn to focus on something greater: What is and the source of what is?   That is our purpose in life: to experience each moment that unfolds in front of our body's and minds, accepting them, appreciating them and loving it all unconditionally.  We can only do that if we focus beyond what ego wants us to focus on and see how God is experiencing each moment through our consciousness. It is not about "me" or ego, it is about God.

All is well in my world

Michael. A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( July 16, 2023) Giving Great Meaning to Every Event. https://tou.org/talks

Manifesting to a Yogi

 But when from the depths of his heart, man desires something more lasting than wealth, something more real than material power, the wave will recede. Then peace will come, joy will come, light will come. 

Meher Baba

Starting to answer the questions asked a few entries ago. Imperfect for sure but there is an answer in there somewhere.

All is well.

Purest Service?

 What is the purest service?  When one knows they cannot serve God and man [ego] at same time...just serve the God in every being.

Ram Dass ( somewhat paraphrased)

The podcast below is speaking mostly to serving the God in every man...be they a thriving capitalist or a starving refuge, an inmate  accused and strongly sentenced for a mild crime or the accuser ( individual and collective), the political activist trying to change the status quo or those identified with and invested in  the status quo, and in those enlightened beings or those far from evolved ones. I like to extend that idea of service to all beings and all things. God is everywhere, right?

I  want to serve humanity for sure.  We do that best by taming our minds and our reactivity, putting away our judgements and preferences and simply recognizing the God in everyone. 

I want to take this approach to all beings. My crows are back with their young and it it is such a pleasure to serve them.  They attempt to wake me up each morning by squawking and cawing outside my window...(yes, they know which window is mine). I will sometimes oblige them then and other times I won't depending on how badly I need the sleep. When I do feed them...either because they are out there waiting or I call them...it is a joy to serve with just a few cat food kibbles and to watch them collect my meager offerings.  There is one of the parents I seem particularly connected to...was here before he/she mated and had a family.  Well after feeding time is over and the others are gone, I will sit outside and this crow will sit very, very close to me on the wire above my head and we will just sit there together for quite a while.  (Was close to an hour last evening).  It is so cool.  I see and serve  the God in this crow and he/she, with their presence, sees and serves the God in me. 

All is well.

Ram Dass/ Be Here Now Network ( 2017?) Ram Dass Here and Now-Episode 13- Fast Forward https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4wJttWjJkA