Moth to a Flame

 

Let your inner pull toward enlightenment lead you so to speak. Let the light pull you towards itself (like a moth to the flame).

Ram Dass

I woke up thinking about a few things.  I was thinking about how I slept in again and was getting lazy with my sadhana/practice; how I wasn't quite feeling it, maybe experiencing a bit of skeptical doubt which is considered to be the fifth hindrance to spiritual enlightenment in the Buddhist tradition, and I was wondering why. I was also thinking about  the Ram Dass book I just finished reading before I fell asleep last night, Remember: Be Here Now. As well, I was thinking about cults, cult followers and cult leaders. I finished the series on Netflix , How to Become a Cult Leader( or something like that) before I went to bed.  So that is how I awoke.  I came out and meditated as I do in the morning, adding the Kriya practice with pranayam to it.  Then I sat with my tea and listened to Michael A. Singer on the below podcast talk about Relaxing, Releasing and Letting Go. As I sat here to write, I asked the question...how do all these things tie into each other and how am I going to write about all this? 

So I begin:

I am questioning my sadhana and the driving force behind it.  My will and commitment is losing its ompf. Why? For several reasons actually but mostly becasue skeptical doubt is slipping in from all around me. I am somehow absorbing some of the dark, pessimistic views of suffering loved ones.  I am seeing myself still stuck in this dark night of the soul despite my practice.  Though I read and hear from many wise ones that this is a normal part of the process, I am questioning: " Is it?  Is it supposed to be going on this long? Should I not be seeing a little positive return on my investment at this point?" 

Cults

Then when I watched the series on cults the doubt deepened a bit. Man, am I just fooling myself like these people were doing? This led me to think long and hard.

I have always been fascinated with cults and I don't know why. Most likely has something to do with my interest and connection with the follower who began as a seeker ( whether they knew it or not) looking for something deeper, something real, something that made sense when the rest of the world didn't, something  that explained why they were here, and something that took them from suffering to peace and beyond.  Sound familiar?  I guess, I could always relate to the follower and developed a great fear about my potential to get swept up into some ideology that promised to save me from my self, like they did. 

The Purity Beneath the Seeking

The messages in these cults are mostly very promising and they touch a deep core truth we all already have within us, I believe. A lot of these teachings are based on the premise of ancient spiritual teachings even if they get twisted around for the leader's benefit.  The teachings resonate because they hit that inner sense of knowing within. To be in a collective of others who are resonating at the same level is a very seductive thing. Look deeply at these people portrayed in shows like this one and you see genuinely happy and peaceful people...regardless if they are living a lie or not.  Something is opening them up to Shakti even if it is a belief brought to them by the leader's deception.  They don't get lured in and "brainwashed" like stupid lost puppies...they are offered the ultimate of gifts: Truth...which is hard to resist at the deepest level. For the most part, it is the spirit within that is being lured...not the psyche or the mind ( though it is to some degree). The inner pull toward enlightenment is taking them there.  And it is in this deep, innate seeking and wanting to serve the spirit, that they find themselves lost in someone's sick ego desires.  It is not so much the cult leader that they come to worship but the message, which is based on a truth that cannot be denied. Even though that truth gets wrapped in egoic fancy to serve the leader, it is doing something for the spirit of the follower. I think that is why it is so challenging for these people to leave. 

They mistakenly honor and serve the leader with their bodies and minds in order to give the spirit a taste of what it is longing for. They erroneously believe through the way the leader manipulates the mind tendencies...that the leader deserves to be honored and served because of the message he/she/they brought to their souls.  Of course, it is only the body and mind that the leader wants. They do what they can  to reduce the self/ego in the follower not for God ( whether they started out with that intention or not) but for the benefit of their own "little me".  Regardless of the reason for it, self/ego/little me in the follower gets diminished or removed and thusly shakti is released.  They have tapped into the state of unconditional well being inside us that has nothing to do with getting what we want and avoiding what we don't want. (Singer, August 2023)

Like a Moth to the Flame

I am not saying go join a cult...by no means.  This show made me question, in fact,  the traditional way of revering guru's in the Indian traditions. It made me question the cult like tendencies of Ashrams, monasteries and even organized religion in the west.  Where do we draw the line between the wholesome following and reverence of a guru/teacher/abbot/ leader and that of an unwholesome following?  I guess, what I am trying to say, is the  following really isn't  unwholesome.  The follower's purpose is clear and pure, usually. Some are led to do some very unwholesome things like in the Helter Skelter murders and the Tokyo  train gas bombings but the motivation which usually involves God and Self realization is wholesome, is it not? That part of cult fellowship is pure? So are there any gurus and leaders out there that lead to wholesome enlightenment processes? Or is all guru following questionable?

And many say there is and were many great leaders. Blindly following your guru is not all that bad if the guru is pure and egoless.  But how many people out there are pure and egoless?

That is why I do a self-directed type of learning and practice.  I listen to the messages of great and wise teachers but I do not revere the messenger.  As long as they have an ego...I do not revere them but I do honor and revere their message. Does that make me a bad yogi? I don't know but that is the type of confusion that arises in me when I look into cults and hear from others who do not practice.  Doubt creeps in. 

Well I guess this is how this all ties in together. As I watch cult stuff and feel my dark night of the soul continuing I doubt.  I question. The human part of me is struggling here but the deeper part of me isn't.  Hmm!

Anyway, it is all good.

All is well in my world.

Ram Dass (n.d.1970's) Remember: Be Here Now. Kindle Edition

Netflix Series on How to Become A Cult Leader.  (Don't have the citing info)

Michael A. Singer ( August 3, 2023) Relaxing, Releasing, and Letting Go. https://tou.org/talks/