Healthy Desire and Manifesting?

 The universe is full of abundance and opportunity. All we have to do is acknowledge what is available, believe in ourselves and take action. 

Dalai Lama

Is there such thing as healthy desire or healthy manifesting?

Going back to the questions I committed myself to answering over the next little while, I find myself pondering the answer for this one. 

Is there such thing as healthy desire?  We know that desire /preference is the root of all suffering.  We got that, right? Suffering comes when  these individual ideas of self we created  get in the way of Life...It comes from attempting to step up as an ego, a self concept, in an attempt to control something we will never be able to control so it suits us better as these egoic self concepts of "me". Desires are based on attachments and expectation we have about how life should be in order for us to be okay as these "little mes". 

Now with  so called "manifesting" , it is all about the feeling we get when we have these things, right? Not so much about what it is we are trying to manifest.  We are to focus on feeling what it would be like to have these things. For example, it is not the wealth...not even the sense of financial security we get upon the visualization of having the wealth we are trying to manifest ...it is security in general, of having enough,  the feeling of worry free peace...right?  The "wealth" is simply a tool for getting us there, for opening us up to what is inside us.  So what if we just desire...attempt to manifest through visualization..."peace, security, a sense of having and being enough" ...is that healthy?  And then of course we need to realize that  what we want and seek...does not come from  "out there".  Though material wealth may come from the external world..."peace, security, a sense of having enough" is internal...just a matter of tapping into it.  How do we tap into it? We open up.  

How do we open up? Sometimes a pleasant experience like  a sunset  or manifesting wealth may open us up. But the real opening up comes from the effort we put into not closing...not closing when it rains...not closing when we have no money in our external experience. 

Opening up is healthy.  What is unhealthy is being  attached to the thing that opened us up as if it were the magic key.  The real key is not in manifesting pleasant experiences but the willingness to do the work on ourselves so we stay open to what is already inside us and to what is in front of us. The sunset and the wealth are pleasant but insignificant really. There is nothing right or wrong about experiencing them.  Like all things on the material plane...they are impermanent...they will  come and they can go. We can enjoy them but if we become attached to them, seeking them as the source of our happiness and sense of being okay etc...then that can become unhealthy pretty quickly. What happens when it is there time to leave?  If we feel we need them in order to open or stay stay open...if we feel we need to  close when we encounter their polar opposites...rain and poverty...to be okay inside...than that is unhealthy.  

Okay, I write and there is this hope and dream still percolating in me that I am working on diminishing.  I would like to be published. I would like the financial security, the open door to teaching, sharing and connecting  that I assume it will bring me. Why? Because I believe publication will allow me to "make it as a writer". I want that feeling of worry free peace, of accomplishment, of knowing that I am doing what I am here to do, of enthusiasm, joy I still mistakenly believe "making it as a writer"  will give me.  It is the feeling I want...not whether or not some editor somewhere decides to publish my stuff! I don't write for that reason..I don't.  I write because something in me wants to come out on the paper...it is a purely internal motivation...The  remains of the ego still clinging tells me to use it though...use it to get what it wants. Ego says successful writing can bring external things like...money, recognition, opportunity etc.  I don't need those things...I want the feelings of peace and joy I assume having them will bring. "Go the long indirect materialized route to inner satisfaction" lol....is what ego is telling me to do with my writing.  When I simply get joy from writing. Why? Because I am open when I write.  I am open to that amazing flow of Shakti within me Hmm! 

Desire and manifesting  is still confusing for me, as this writer with ego still around.  I wrote my sister's story for the joy of writing it, for her...it was done with internal motivation.  But yesterday I spent grueling hours getting a sample ready to submit...and I don't know if it became an ego thing then or not.  If I am  desiring and attempting to manifest a publication here, is that ego or spiritual?  Is it okay if it is both? My major goal right now...is self realization and the end of suffering I assume it will bring...not publication.  But does that mean, I don't submit, that I don't attempt to publish?  Can the submission process be a part of my practice?  I am learning to detach from outcome.  Once my submission  is out...I let go. That is a great practice. 

But what about if we desire to get beyond these attachments and expectations to whatever we attempt to manifest, to end suffering once and for all?  What if we want to manifest a higher state of being with Source, a realization of true Self.  That is a still a desire isn't it? To me, that is the only healthy desire to pursue.

Hmm! I know I am rambling but this is a question I still need to ponder for a while.

All is well