Lost in the Streams

 The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us, and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone.
George Eliot

I am thinking of many things as I sit here not sure about what it is I am to write about.  Maybe I will just address some of the things I have on my mind.  My mind is a good example of just how busy thinking can get. You know how the mind is...if you follow one thought stream it will branch off into another and that one will branch off into another and another and another until you are good and lost in the stream following antics of the habitual mind.

I was thinking of the following things:

1. how welcoming this spot seemed this morning
2. my meditation yesterday and teh compulsion received to write poetry
3. the poem I wrote yesterday
4. a comment made by someone about the possibility of someone taking my poems from this blog
5. the thought of the possibility loss and betrayal in regards to this
6. the chest pain I am presently having off and on from pushing myself to do a yoga sequence yesterday that overtaxed my ticker leading to what I know to be a cluster of coronary vasospasms
7. past experiences with physicians that were shaming and hurtful
8. how I have learned to handle that, becoming untrusting of a system and the egos of those in it
9. my hot flashes
10. how I become aware of myself running off after these thoughts, trying to create story around them
11. my breath
12. just observation of the chest pain and the hot flash
13. accepting this moment and all that is in it
14. My mantra: It is what it is and it is because that is....it is all okay!
15. and how welcoming this spot is; how good it is to be here in it now!

Wow!  That is what went through my mind in a matter of seconds.  The mind can be a hyperactive monkey, can't it?

Thought stream One

My first thought was about how welcoming this spot seemed this morning when I sat down to write.  I did de-clutter it a bit over the last few days.  The light coming in this time of the day is lovely.  I can see the sun coming through the branches of the lovely Juniper outside my window and hear the breeze blowing in such a comforting way.  It is good to see how the earth is finally being relieved of the burden of snow that covered it so thickly. So yeah...this place was always comforting but seemed especially so today.  And I started to wonder if it was divinely orchestrated that I should find more comfort and welcome in this spot because it is where I am supposed to be.

Thought Stream Two

That brought me to the second thought stream.  I recalled how yesterday during my meditation, I asked what is was that was wanted of me, how I could serve with the little I have and the answer came to me as it usually does, "Write!".  Then I heard this time "Poetry!" I can't say it was an actual  voice I heard...I am not having auditory hallucinations...but it was an inner voice of some kind. I also seen the word as if typed out on a piece of paper in my mind's eye and I felt it.  It was weird but it was very powerful. 

At first, I resisted, telling myself that was just a quirky thought I was putting in my own head.  Why would I want to write poetry? It is too exposing, putting one out there to risk ridicule and shame and I am so shame based as it is...why would I do that to myself?  Besides how would I live as a poet, especially a not very good one.  Who makes money as a poet?

This resistance went on but the feeling beneath was too powerful so I surrendered to it and I heard more clearly what was asked of me.  I am not to call myself a poet...I am not to call myself anything.  I am simply to write what is coming through me.  Whatever words that come through are not mine.  I cannot take responsibility for them or credit...they simply come through me.  Yes, I can put my name to those poems (using  my pen here or my real name) and if any literary credits or compensations are due I can take those. But it isn't about me really.

I had this strong feeling, then, that I was to take what I am seeing, experiencing and learning and instead of always putting it into prose like I usually do, I am to allow it more often to come through into verse.  I am not to worry about the outcome, just the process. Weird! And I just said, "Okay!"

That is what I recalled this morning as I sat at this place that suddenly seemed more welcoming.

Thought Stream Three

Then I remembered  about how I came here after that meditation yesterday and I wrote a poem.  This poem was based on  much learning I have gathered over the years and was triggered by the video offered by Anita Moorjani , who by the way,  was saying how we should listen to our higher Self in determining the direction of our lives thus prompting me to ask that question about "How shall I serve" in my meditation.  

Her description about the world and Self we see being like the tip of  an iceberg really stuck with me as well. Now I have heard the ice berg description in terms of understanding the mind, as I have written here before.  10 % of the mind is our conscious mind and all we tend to see and understand.  Beneath that is the subconscious and unconscious mind which actually guides our behaving, feeling and living more than the conscious mind ever could but we do not understand it. I liked the way she took that "tip of the iceberg" analogy and applied it to how we understand Self and Life. That stuck

Thought Stream Four

So I was thinking about how a reader of my blog commented that they actually got choked up on reading my poetry and warned me to be careful. This person felt that others could take my words from this blog and use them as their own.  Though I assured him that that wouldn't happen, that I was copy right protected etc...he still felt I should remove all my poetry to protect it.

Thought Stream Five

I began to ponder over that possibility and felt myself a little worried and betrayed. I thought about the numerous times the  plagscan url showed up on my stats. Would someone take mediocre poetry and call it their own?  Why?  Could they do that and get away with it?  I reminded myself I was copy right protected but that led me to feel guilty about not trusting and fearing the loss of some thing like ego credit.  I want to be more evolved than that.  Then I remembered the meditation and how I was more or less told to not worry about outcome...it was being taken care of.

Thought Stream Six

Then the chest pain interrupted the above thought stream taking me in another direction.  I felt the pain and still, despite all my practice,  when I initially feel it, my first reaction is to resist it. "No!  I don't want this!  It should not be this way!"   Then to avoid that feeling of "doom and gloom" that usually comes with it...I get deeper into the thought process to begin to analyze it ...to determine what the cause of it is.  I recalled how  I tried and tried yesterday to capture a dancing warrior sequence on video for my yoga page.  Dancing warrior is too much of a cardiac strain...and I pushed past the symptoms then trying to convince myself that I was somehow evolved past this physical limitation that has been a part of my life for decades.

Thought Stream Seven

Then that led me to question why I keep pushing past that point.  Besides the fact that I still have some unhealthy "doing" tendencies I am still stuck in some knots created by  my past experience seeking validation for this pain and the other symptoms.  I have known for years  without a doubt it is cardiac...familial...but whenever I get the pain I am instantly reminded of my past  health seeking experiences. I recall with shame, anger, frustration how those in the allopathic system that I sought help from over the years have yet to truly validate my experience and I  remembered all the consequences I endured in  terms of loss of livelihood, documented inaccurate and very hurtful assumptions about me and years of feeling shamed and unheard. I felt a familiar and unpleasant feeling being activated. That knot is always pulled automatically at the first twinge of chest pain and it has led me to behave in certain ways over the years.

Thought Stream Eight

This stream took me into how I have chosen to behave over the years.  I thought about my lack of faith and trust in this system.  Of course, that brought guilt.  I do not like to think this way but the truth is I do. I do not trust that I will be looked after in my physical need.  This is evidenced by my latest health issue that I have totally given up seeking help for.

I do not like to feel helpless as I do with this thought stream so I then try to make myself feel better by realizing how this experience of so called suffering is actually a gem that now glistens and shines.  It has taken me to a deeper understanding of well being that goes beyond the body focus and dependence on man made systems in the physical world.  All I have experienced has actually helped me to evolve!

Thought Stream Nine

As I am thinking this I get a very intense hot flash.  And though I usually do not react to my hot flashes and am quite content to just watch them ...I did resist this one because I was still tied up in the reactive thoughts and  emotions of the  health seeking knot.  I thought , maybe this is not a hot flash....because I am sweating profusely with this while I am having chest pain , maybe it is actually a cardiac symptom.  Maybe most of them are now. How will I ever know?  No one will take me seriously.

Thought Stream Ten

Then I simply observed how I was caught up in these thoughts and how I was feeling all caught up in these emotional knots. I became aware once again of my  need to create story, to avoid feeling shame, pain, fear... how I run off from one thought stream to another.

Thought Stream Eleven

I brought myself back to breath.  I just consciously breathed in and out and I followed that breath in my belly.  I told myself I needed to cast this anchor out so I could bring myself back.  

Thought Stream Twelve, Thirteen and Fourteen

I then consciously decided to be aware of what was going on around me in this moment.  Since the chest pain and the hot flash were still so heavy in my awareness, I just focused on them.  I became very mindful of how hot I was without resisting that feeling.  I became aware of the beads of perspiration forming along my wrists.  I just sat with that and watched.  I watched the chest pain...observed how it came and went in little spasms on the left side of my chest moving to the center and between my shoulder blades.  I just watched it. As I did so I visualized that knot.  I allowed it and then I did something strange...I embraced it.

I put my hand on my chest and just said, " It is what it is and it is because that is...and it is all okay!"

Thought Stream Fifteen

After a few seconds I found myself back in this spot, in front of my computer, ready to write.  I looked about me and thought , "Man...this place is comforting today!"

 I took myself full circle from here to there and back to here, from now to then and back to now, from presence to  being lost in thought and back to awareness.   When I found myself out of the streams and back in the here and now, I began to write. 

As I tune into my chest now there is a bit of heaviness but no pain.  The sweating has stopped too.  How cool is that?

All is well in my world

Anita Moorjani (March or April 2020) ...sorry , for the life of me, I can't seem to find this you tube link so I can cite it here.   :(  I will keep looking! 

Tip of the Iceberg

Tip of  the Iceberg

Look beyond the large chunk of ice you see
 floating on the surface
of your mind's idea of life.
As  you stare at it from your bobbing perch
with binoculars fastened so tightly 
over  the eyes on your face 
...still the only tool of vision
you are familiar with...
be in awe of what your senses reveal.  
Watch in amazement as diamonds
of sparkling light are reflected off its crevices;
breathe in its fresh crisp presence 
carried on the salty breeze to you;
notice as its tiny icy fingers
reach out over the watery distance
to caress your skin making
your entire being tingle with chill.

Appreciate  its beauty and its grandness,
its spectacular magnificence,
but
do not assume this
surface phenomenon is the whole.
Question the possibility that there is more
beneath the murky waves
below what you can see,
touch or know with this  mind
that creates a shimmering, moving filter
between you
and the deeper beingness
of every thing.

If you could see below
into the depth of this infinite ocean
maybe...just maybe...
you would realize that what the eye sees 
is only 10 percent
of all that is.
Below this tiny peak is the mountain,
much greater, much grander than
that which the conditioned mind
allows us to perceive.

Wonder over that possibility
as you hold your breath in awe
upon  observing this amazing tip.
Then close your eyes,
breathe in deeply  
and observe the entire iceberg
that is you.

Dale-Lyn April 2020

Man I am definitely on a poetry kick and I don't know why. I do not consider myself a poet like I consider Wordsworth, Dickinson, Coleridge to be poets ( yeah...I like the romantics). I do not, by any means, compare myself to Tagore or Rumi or Gibran in the way they were able to translate their spiritual quests into poetic verse. I am not a Milton and have not received divine word by word guidance during my sleep to write epic poetry like Paradise Lost. I am not confident or comfortable as a poet...far from it.  I feel the poems I write leave me more vulnerable and exposed than anything else I do. My shamer ego always comes in at some point to critique and chastise my poems, more than it does anything else I write. That is why for decades I have shown my poetry to very, very few people and I never submitted for publication until very recently  Yet here I am popping up poem after poem  on this blog site. Why?

It is beyond me...as kooky as that may make me sound.  It is beyond me.  I am not writing these as much as they are coming through me and if they come through me here, I publish the post...no matter what Shamer has to say. I know without doubt that I am being taught something with every poem I write.  This higher Self, this muse, this One consciousness, Divine intervention...whatever you want to call It...answers my questions through poetry. It is an amazing and beautiful process that I do not understand too clearly and maybe I do not have to.  I just have to stay open...heart and mind wise.

I meditated today, and I asked like I always ask...what can I do to serve best at this time, any time.  What usually come sup automatically when I do that is "write!"  I never know for sure if that is just my ego throwing in a few ideas or spirit but it is such an answer that I know it comes from a higher place too.  Well the last few times I asked that question. "Write"... came up followed by "poetry".  And I was like..."Ahhh...not poetry!!! " Of course...I only resisted for a slight moment and then I happily accepted the offer.

So here I am...writing poetry.  :)

I was listening to Anita Moorjani this morning and she was talking about this ice berg analogy and I knew that a poem was going to come out of it.  Hmmm! I cannot seem to find the video I listened to at this point to cite it...I will get it and post it when I can.

All is well!

Learning from Mother Teresa

May God break my heart open so completely that the whole world falls in.
Mother Teresa

 

 

One of the highest emotional states we can achieve, according to Buddhist and Christian teachings, is compassion.  As we get beyond the frantic need to defend and attack for the protection of this "little me" we identify as, we begin to experience compassion.  When we actually feel  the suffering of others...feel their pain, their worry, their unease or dis-ease...without pity but with perfected empathy, we are experiencing  compassion. 

 

When we are able to break away from our "me-me" focus during this pandemic or at any time of community or global crisis  to see how others are hurting, needing, suffering...it may really suck!  We may have a tendency to want to avoid that experience   too as we avoid our own feelings that add to our burden of suffering.  We might want to close our eyes to it, to turn our backs to it, pretend it isn't going on.  But it is. 

 

Truth is the world suffers...all humans suffer, beings suffer, the planet suffers.  It  might be easier to squeeze our eyes shut or put our hands over our ears than it is to "accept" that suffering and to reach out in thought or deed to attempt, in some small way, to relieve it.

 

Yet that is what we are here to do , isn't it?  Are we not here to experience fully the magnificence of Life which includes the joy as well as dukkha?  Are we not here to evolve beyond this idea we have a separate little selves and to grow into the realization of the One Self? Are we not here to open so completely we have compassion for the whole world?

 

 

Mother Teresa knew that and she spent her life offering and teaching compassion.  She was not lost in little self but guided by God to open her heart fully and completely to all experiences. I am sure it wasn't easy for her to look upon the dying and the lonely day in and day out.  But I don't think I have ever seen a picture of her when she wasn't smiling or at least very peaceful looking.  She knew what we were here to do, knowing that we cannot "stop" Life from being Life, that there will always be suffering, challenges, change but she set out to diminish suffering somehow, to relieve it a tiny bit at least. She staid open!

 

We could learn from Mother Teresa.  Though it is uncomfortable, doesn't mean that we should close up to suffering.

 

All is well!

 

 



More Learning from Buddhism

The spiritual journey is individual, highly personal. It can't be organized or regulated. It isn't true that everyone should follow one path. Listen to your own truth.

Ram Dass

Wisdom in all Religions

I am going to get back to the lessons in A Course very soon.  Right  now I am being drawn to dharma talks....for some reason.   I am not a Buddhist, any more than I am a Hindu, a Muslim, a Jew or a Christian ( though Christianity will always be both a beautiful life enhancing conditioning in me, as well as something  I can no longer follow exclusively  without questioning )   but I absolutely love the teachings outlined by the Buddha ( as I do the teaching outlined by Christ). 

I guess, what I am trying to say, is I am not identifying with any one religion.  I am identifying with all.  Not for a second do I believe I am "Putting False Gods before me"  as I have been accused of doing.  In my understanding there is only One God...just so many different interpretations, terminologies and explanations. These teachings  are neither the same or different!!!

A Gentle and Practical Approach

Anyway, to me the Buddhists offer the best understanding into the nature of suffering and healing that I have heard...even beyond the psychological and scientific explanations that I have studied over the years. It is beautiful and amazing, not only in spiritual terms, but in practical!  The dharma seems to offer a beautiful marriage between the spiritual and physical.

So yeah I am drawn to those dharma talks...drawn to the all inclusive, non judgemental, practical, gentle and kindly approach Buddhism offers. I am a practitioner of these teachings yes...just as I am still a practitioner of many of the teachings I received growing up as a catholic, as I am a practitioner of the Hinduism that underlines the basis of Yoga.  I absolutely adore the Suffi poets and find great wisdom in their words.  I am amazed by the wisdom and reverence for the natural world seen in the traditions  of  the indigenous people around me.  I love science. I love philosophy.   I love literature.  I love what I gain from my own look inward.

I am just open

 I am just so open to explore wisdom in any form it comes in. If an explanation, a teaching, a description touches something inside me, I open farther.  I am just a seeker, and a practitioner.  I do not call myself a bodhisattva or a Sadhaka nor do I call myself a catholic.  I am just a seeker and a practitioner of that which resonates in my core.

Anyway, heard this little acronym today that helps us to be mindful, especially of our suffering. It was offered during a dharma talk from Deer Park.  Rabbits and Elephants Love Icecream. 

The R. stands for recognize. Notice what you are feeling, what is happening around you. what you are thinking.  What you are doing.

A stands for accept...which is a big one.  just allow whatever it is to simply be.  That doesn't mean it has to stay that way...but in this moment it is what is is.  Don't resist it.  don't deny it.  Don't push it away.  Just allow.

E stands for embrace.  So  we go beyond simply accepting teh circumstance, the feeling, the thoughts, the behaviour in us or someone else.  We embrace it.  We own it.  We pick it up and hold it gently.  This is the total opposite of resisting, and pushing away, isn't it?

L stands for look deeply...once we embrace it and soothe it...in a sense calm it down, we can begin to look closely at it.  Examine it to determine where it came from, what it means and what can be done about it...if anything. 

Then I stands for Insight...what have we learned from this, gained from this that we can take with us?

So simple, so lovely and so very wise.

All is well in my world.

Plum village   Earth Holder Retreat Orientation With Sr. Man Nghiem & Br. Nguyen Luc @ Deer Park https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8EaxBorhEU

Early Morning Secrets

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don't go back to sleep.
Rumi

I awoke again at 5 in the am to the glorious music of bird song.  I have missed it without truly realizing what I was missing; without being aware exactly of what was "not there" in my day to day experience over the winter months.  Then when the robins return with their lovely choirs...it is like "Wow!  How could I ever have failed to notice the emptiness of this not being in my experience?" 

We get so conditioned, so selectively deaf to the music of Life occurring all around us when we slip into habit mind again and again. We just get lost in doing and excessive thinking and do not notice the millions of expressions of Life occurring, changing, leaving all around us. How could we fail to appreciate in July what is so amazing in April?  How could we not notice it when it leaves us? I mean like come on....robin song?  How does it get more beautiful than that?

The sound of a world waking up in spring is just a taste of what we hear throughout the summer and Autumn months. Yet it never sounds so glorious as it does in spring.  Absence does make the heart grow fonder, I suppose.  Hmm!

Anyway...I woke up this morning, let the dogs out and stood in the doorway.  I found myself asking,  "Okay Rumi what secrets does this breeze of yours want to share with the likes of me?" I couldn't hear the answer over the beautiful bird song! I was almost disappointed until I realized the gift I was being given.

All is well!

Gems

 Gems
 
If you look close enough you can see them
twinkling like tiny specks in amongst
the darkness of your mind's cave.
Watch as their tiny blackened fingers reach out to catch
each ray of unexpecting  sunlight that passes by.
Just observe how they grab that light,
pull it in to their center, absorb it, embrace it.
See how they then  grow and expand
with each small sip of nature's nourishment they swallow,
puffing up their chests, opening their hearts
freeing their illuminated beings from the rock
where they were once buried, hidden from view.
 
Pay attention to how they begin to shine,
sparkling and glistening with this tiny taste of Source energy,
transforming from nuggets of noxious coal
that spent  lifetimes  escaping  the miner's axe  
into brilliant diamonds and sapphires.  
Observe how that which was once denied,
 perceived as ugly and painful, not worthy of attention
 now reflects all that is beautiful ,
filling up the cavities of your being  with radiant light.
And all it took was your willingness
to stick your head into this cave,
and to see, really see
 the tiny specks of brilliance
that  suffering has made.

Dale-Lyn April 15, 2020

Okay...that just came out and I let it.  Was listening to a dharma talk as linked below and Br Phap Lai was quoting   his teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh Gems shine brightly in the midst of suffering.  and I knew once I heard that, I was going to cough up a poem lol.  It is what it is.

All is well.

Plum Village (June 2019) Being Present for Ourselves/ Neuroscience Retreat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKIdXfkqOzc

The Welcoming Arms of Nature Beyond the Burning House

Waking up this morning, I smile:

Twenty-four brand-new hours are before me.

I vow to live each moment fully

and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion.

Thich Nhat Hanh

 



I woke up this morning to beautiful spring light shining in through my window and I could hear the sound of robins singing.  My heart just grew 100 times bigger in that small little moment.  I felt so blessed and so connected. I was so glad to be alive.

Nature Can Fill Our Reserves

These types of offerings from nature are always around us.  We are constantly reminded of how precious life is.  We are given these precious little nourishments of natural beauty to give us strength to see us through when things are not so pleasant. We need to seek these moments of "awe" to fill up our store house with. 

If we want peace, joy, well being we need to fall in love with nature again.  This is what Br. Phap Ho teaches in his dharma talk from Deer Park.  When we fall in love with Mother Earth again we fall in love with self again, with humanity again and with all beings again. Love is at the core of our relating to all.

To do this, he explains, we need to be able to love all aspects...not just those parts , those persons, those things that are easy to love.  We must also love the parts of us that we do not want anyone to see.  We must also love the parts of nature that scare us because we do not understand them ( like rattlesnakes or Covid 19 maybe).  We need to love others even if they seem to be hell bent on hurting us,  others or the world.  We must see beyond that which scares us, that which angers or frustrates us...to the Love that is at their core as well.

Anger: A Burning House

But we do get angry don't we?  When someone says or does something unkind, or when we see someone putting their ego ahead of the well being of others or the planet...we get pissed off...don't we? We begin to resist and struggle against what they are doing.  We "fight" them.  The more we fight the angrier we get and the more determined we become to make them pay. At what cost? Does our anger change the other person or the situation or does it just hurt us...taking us away from this peaceful love at the core of us leading us from one ego pursuit to the next  in the name of righteousness?

I love this analogy shared in this talk.  We can compare having anger in our bodies and minds to being in a burning house.  Does it do you any good, as the flames begin to appear,  to look outside the house for the person or something responsible for it, to drop the fire extinguisher to  run after the culprit so you can make him pay for what you perceive  he or she or it has done? No...you will just come back to a pile of ashes. 

What we need to do is put the flames out when they are small enough for us to extinguish them.  Then when the flame is out and we have recovered somewhat from the ordeal...gained a stable footing, some space , we can attempt to determine what caused the fire.  We can , from a place of peace and calm, confront the causative factor  and help to transform it.  We need to remember that at the core, no matter how buried that core may be, is Love...not destruction. We need to see beyond anger to that truth.

Tap into that Love rather than fuel anger and allow it to burn us alive.

Tapping Into Nature; Tapping Into Love

We tap into that love when we are surrounded by nature.  When we hear it, when we smell it, when we touch it....These moments of slowing down and appreciating her in all her glorious beauty and bounty can be the stuff that fills our extinguishers. That motivates us to face, accept and deal with our anger, our own imperfections and the imperfections of others.  That helps us to commit to supporting her better, supporting ourselves and all of humanity better, all beings better.

First...we must be willing to slow down enough to notice nature, to "stop and smell the flowers" as the old cliché goes, to touch her, to hear her, to feel her in the breeze against our skin.  And to know, as the Buddhist mantra goes,  we are the earth walking on the earth.

Now that is a lot to think about!

All is well.

Plum Village ( February 2020) Falling In Love with Mother Earth/ Dharma Talk with Br. Phap Ho at Deer Park Monastery. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p17MRdGNdQw

Thich Nhat Hanh (2011) peace is every breath. New York; Harper One

Not the Same or Different

All things in the world come from being. And being comes from non-being.
Lao Tzu https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/lao-tzu-quotes

There were two very important messages that stuck with me this morning after listening to another dharma talk from Plum Village ( Okay...I am getting a wee bit addicted to these dharma talks  which kind of goes against all the teachings :)) These two lessons offered by Br. Phap Dung   to a group of neuroscientists on retreat were:

Not the same or different

Don't be too sure!!

Hmm!  Let's examine these little Buddhist gems of wisdom so we can apply them to our lives.

Not the Same or Different

The topic of this particular talk was intended to be on duality versus non duality in understanding birth and death.  It was an examination of this idea many of us cling to of birth and death, of being and nonbeing, of coming and going, and of same or different.  It doesn't matter what contrasting opposites we bring up  so we can examine them we will  realize...they are neither the same or different.  In fact, we cannot have one without the other.

Take a piece of paper and attempt to rip the left side off because all you want is right.  What happens? You have a more narrow piece of paper, but do you still have a left side to that paper? You cannot have one without the other...they make up the wholeness of what is.

Celebrating Birth; Avoiding Death

We can take this understanding of duality into our understanding of birth and death .  We anticipate, celebrate  rejoice when a baby is about to be born but we avoid, push away and refuse to deal with (until we absolutely have to) this idea of death? We are so afraid of that ending. It seems to be such a contrast to birth...one is "good", one is "bad".

We see our lives having a beginning and end.  We see ourselves as having a being and a non being.  When we are born we believe we are coming  into being and when we die  and  cease to be....we are going somewhere or nowhere. When we are born and alive we are here.  When we die we are nowhere. When we are alive we are something because we and others can see, hear, touch us...but when we die  we are  nothing. Or so our belief goes.  These are the things we tell ourselves.

Are they the truth?

Don't be Too Sure

And this is where the other teachings come into play. Are you sure that is the case?  Do you know any something in this universe that becomes a nothing?  Think bout that, as Br Phap Dung encourages these scientists to do.

You might say "Ice is a something that becomes a nothing in the spring."  Think about that. 

Yes ice melts in the spring, just like our bodies die when the time comes under certain conditions.  Ice melts when the conditions are right for it to melt...a rise in temperature... but does ice cease to be?  No... it takes the form of water. And what about the water? It eventually evaporates taking the form of  humidity, mist.  Then it becomes a cloud and then it becomes rain again and then when the right conditions present themselves again ( cold temperature) that water will once again appear as ice.


 Ice didn't disappear...it just changed! Your perceptions did not pick up "ice" after it became water but the ice was still there. Ice is still ice. We just give it different names, labels, meaning and limitations with every form it takes....We name it ice, water, humidity, mist, cloud, rain etc etc.  seeing each as separate and "different" from each other. The essence of all those things is, however, does not change ...just the form changes...the energy of that thing moves from one form to another.

Where does ice start and where does it end? Is it coming or going?

So don't be so sure your being will be no being when you die.  Death is just a label we have given the final transformation of the form the being is in.  The being is still there when the body ceases to breathe...just in a different form. Call it what you will...death, passing, croaking or Fred...it is just a concept.  We, however, have not ceased to be.

We will probably never understand where being begins and where it ends and we do not have to. Maybe we can find a little peace in knowing that it is neither coming or going.  It just is!

In Looking At Suffering and Peace

So we can take this understanding, then, back to our notion of suffering.  If we watch our habits we will see that we are constantly trying to avoid the painful and the unpleasant.  We see pain  as so different than peace, pleasure, joy.  We try to rip that piece of the paper away so all we have is the pleasant but all we end up doing is making our life more and more narrow.  We cannot have peace without suffering...they go together.

And no they are not the same, but they are not different either.  They just are.

Hmmm!  That was a lot of learning for one day.

All is well!

Plum Village ( June 2019) The Nature of No Birth and No Death/ Dharma Talk by Br. Phap Dung
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVLvJFrmH_8

Coming to Peace With Pain

One of the essential requirements for true spiritual growth and deep personal transformation is coming to peace with pain.
Michael Singer, the untethered soul, page 99

Happy Easter Everyone! 

It doesn't matter if we identify as Christian or not ...Easter offers a wonderful reminder to all of us  of the importance of healing and waking up to a greater truth. Beyond suffering there is the Kingdom of God. " Repent, for the Kingdom of God is at hand."(Matthew 3: 2)

The Kingdom Within

Now I look at that a little differently than I did in my catechism years. "Repent",  I now see as meaning "Wakeup...notice what you have done, see the errors of your action, your thinking, your speech.  Choose differently."

The Kingdom of Heaven, I believe, is not something we have allotted to some unseen but designated location "out there" or in the future.  It isn't necessarily "up there" either. It isn't far away.  It is "at hand". Meaning It is right here, right now.   We just have to wake up to it.   

We can't see it because of our way of perceiving and thinking in this world that keeps us from experience our connection with  God in our present moment. When we don't experience this, we remain in pain.

Stuck in Pain

We don't like pain!  We tend to avoid it, stuff it, push it away at all costs.  We are desperate.  So we grasp, cling, strive, seek to control the world around us so it doesn't cause more pain.  We try to "fix" this present moment...to make it something other than it is.  We use it to fall back into past pleasant moments.  We get lost in our memories and we do what we can to recapture them.  Or we use the present moment  as a stepping stone to skip ahead into the future where we convince ourselves...some form of Heaven will be. We seldom settle in this moment and open our eyes to the Heaven that is within us.

Why Do We Not Open Our Eyes To Truth?

We are afraid to touch our pain!

Suffering does exist.  Many of us, according to  Brother Phap Luu in Establishing a Buddha Field
and Michael Singer  in the untethered soul have a dagger  or a thorn in our heart, in the form of a past trauma or painful memory we stuff away, cling to and protect so we do not have to "feel it". We end up causing more pain on top of pain with our resistance to what is.

Instead of just facing the pain and allowing it to flow through us, we push it down and lock it away inside of us.  We  close down the parts of us that hold on to this pain. This holding on and locking in forms the knots in our bodies and minds I wrote about the other day.   We may react to or avoid anything in life that may touch this pain, aggravate or remind us of it. 

Yet there are soooo many things that can trigger it.  We really cannot escape pain or its triggers. 

Eventually we realize this and give up trying to run away from it. We will decide we want to do as Christ advised in Matthew, what the Buddha advised in his teachings. We give up trying to find the answers to ending suffering "out there" and instead turn inside.  We decide to "repent" and wake up to the Kingdom of God in this moment.  We decide to envelope ourselves in the Buddha field. (Buddha by the way is just a name for awakening). We seek the Field of Awakening.


Will Not Find a Place Where There is No Pain

In this field, we will not find the end of all pain.  We will simply find the end of the need to push pain away, or  to deny its presence.  Eventually we will see that there is no need to judge , prefer or push away...that all things God offers us can bring peace. With this "Right view", this repenting...we put away our need for "right" from "wrong", "pleasant from unpleasant, worthy from unworthy discriminations and see that all Life offers us, all the moment offers us is worthy of our attention.

  Instead of running from pain, we learn to pay attention to it, to embrace it. From there we see how it is able to provide precious nourishment for our joy and happiness.  We see how our heart opens and the dagger melts so we can offer compassion to other beings. The world around us become a different place.

When you are comfortable with pain passing through you, you will be free...You will then be able to walk through this world more vibrant and alive than ever before.  you will feel everything at a deeper level.  you will begin to have truly beautiful experiences rise up within you. Eventually you will understand that there is an ocean of love behind all this fear and pain...Over time, you will form an intensely personal relationship with this beautiful inner force...Now peace and love will run your life.
(Singer, pg 106-107) 

This state of Love and compassion and joy is Heaven on earth...it is the Buddha Field.

How do we get there?  By turning inside, by accepting all that is, and by embracing our pain with tender hearted compassion for it is the mud that will allow our awakening to grow.

All is well.

 Plum Village (February 2020) Establishing the Buddha Field/ Dharma Talk by Br. Phap Luu.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E20CaTQ1fMA

Michael Singer ( 2007) Chapter 11: pain, the price for freedom. the untethered soul. New Harbinger/Noetic Books

Bible Gateway https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+3%3A2%2CMatthew+4%3A17%2CMark+1%3A15&version=ESV

I don't think I can write today in this.  :) It is all good. 

Please have a wonderful Easter weekend.  Remember that Easter is a time of hope and new beginnings!  Stay well and peaceful.

Blast from the past

Forget about being impressive, and commit to being real.
Danielle LaPorte

Working on my web page so I am able to post some yoga videos for my students and anyone that wants them...in hope someone benefits from them.  I had to change the title I have been using though because I realized that it is one frequently used by many studios.  And I thought I was so smart picking that one out lol? So I now call it Mindful Serenity: A Gentle Yoga Practice for Peace of Mind. In the process of registering it as such.

Anyway...I am asking that my ego stay out of the picture as I take on this project.  I notice it judging my videos very harshly because they are not as "perfect" as they should be. I also don't want to feed it with anything I may receive for what I am doing in the form of views or likes or comments.  Do not want that! It takes the ease and the peace away from the experience when ego gets involved.

 I see the same with my poetry as I get it ready for a contest...I am editing , rearranging, judging, cringing when  heck...I know it really isn't mind to judge in the first place...it just came through me.  "Keep it as it is and send it out", is the bit of advice I give myself when I am calm and still.

It is great to "notice" when ego is creeping into the picture. I still grasp at being judged in a favorable way through this poetry and I fear and duck away from the possibility of being judged unfavorably.  Classic human tendency, eh? I want to be Independent of the need for the good opinion of others!(Abraham Maslow).

So I will practice making ego squirm a bit by putting up a far from perfect video I did years ago.  And I will appreciate the fact, that despite its imperfections, I was real  in it...and that is all that matters.

All is well in my world!

https://youtu.be/Dr8ZOQlmMsM


https://youtu.be/pVBUdSAWfDU

Come in Silence

Come In Silence

Come in silence to this place.
Remove your shoes and tiptoe
towards the sacred spot.
Sit yourself down
in the quiet of your heart.
Shush the misbehaving children
who giggle and scramble about,
knocking into walls
that contain all there is.
Settle them down beside you
so they listen
and get lost in the lullaby of breath.
Close your eyes.
Slip past the chattering voices
of repeated thoughts
to the empty space within.
Relax there
in the perfect stillness.
Do not speak...
just listen
in the silence,
to the perfect chorus of peace
that is being played
just for you.
Wait.
Just wait
and you will hear
the Voice
you were living to hear.

Dale-Lyn 2011

Going to plop this one down into my chap book as well being that this one is about waking up.  Poetry is easy for me ( not saying it is good or bad...just is) but when it came to choosing thirty pages of poetry I have been stressed to the core. I have hundreds of poems that I have written and to choose only so many is challenging.  First of all I do not feel that I can take responsibility for them or credit so how can I choose which ones to slap together in a book with my name on it? That's crazy, is it not? 

I don't care if they get published by a publisher...not focusing on outcome...but I do feel, because they  came through me they are not meant to be stuck on some "My Documents" page...they are meant to be read by someone other than me maybe.  (though I do believe I learn from them) .  So I feel compelled to do up chap books...I literally could do up at least five full chapbooks with different themes.  Two, at least, would be about waking up.

Ego was seldom in my writing of poetry and I want to keep it out...I do. I don't want to judge them.  Can't help if they get judged by others as long as my thinking about poetry doesn't change with any judgment I may receive.

So I am thinking poetry and that may reflect in these blogs.

All is well!

Knots!

Knots!  Knots!  Knots!

Circling, twining, spiraling,
the strong unfrayable strands
coil around each other,
forming a ball of knotted flesh
at the center of our being.

Like a string of poplar trees
emerging  in unruly fashion
from the same root system,
miniature versions
of tangled memory,
terror, desperation and regret
 sprout up between
the fibers of unassuming  muscles.

Wrapping their misbehaving limbs
like deranged  tentacles
around the sinewy chords
of  shoulders, back and neck,
 they seem to  laugh eerily
with each movement
that brings the painful reminder
of what was and
of what may never be.

They spread out
into the  throat,
distorting voices,
making it challenging
to cry out "stop'
as they settle in jaws
clenched tight with resistance.
Like the hinges on Pandora's box,
these tired rusty joints 
hold the lid closed
in fear the noisy demons
held within
will be released
and never contained again.

Knots! Knots! Knots!

The past leaves
its lingering impressions
in these fragile vessels
of body and mind
in the form of
multiplying knots.
Knots that constrain and restrict,
knots that add confusion to
what is already confused,
knots that nag and pull at us
like persistent toddlers
who demand our attention,
knots that we skip over,
knots that we stuff away,
and knots that we push down
as we reach upward and outward
away from their menacing presence
to something, anything  
that will bring numbing relief.

Oh,  but  no matter how
intoxicated we get
on the world's  many
elixirs  and distractions,
we cannot seem
to  run far enough away 
from  these knots.
Nor can we ignore the way
they painfully  damn up the vessels
Life is meant to flow so
fluidly and gracefully through.
We can not deny  how they
make us choke and cough up
the beauty and joy
that is offered us
before it ever reaches
its intended destination-  

Knots!  Knots!  Knots!

"Knots," the sages whisper
when we cry out in agony,
"can be untied."
"Just listen for the bell within you,"
they instruct with
their kindly examples.
" And stop...just stop when you
hear its sweet reminder;
stop the busy thinking,
moving and the doing.
Take a breath in,
draw that precious
healing prana
through you,
to the center of who you are.
Let it illuminate
each twisted tentacle
that clings to your idea
of  "me" and "them".

View each knot clearly
in the light of clear vision,
Observe how  the
distorted lengths  of story
and the  limbs of
judgment and assumption
have braided their way  
through your body and mind,
forming gnarled
and garbled obstacles
between you and this moment.

Regardless of how
your hand trembles,
resist your urge
to push away,
resist the need for
knowing and labelling, 
and instead
reach out to touch each knot,
just touch it gently.
Hold it in your hands,
feel its sinewy texture
with your entire being
as you  allow it to be
exactly what it is.
Just allow it, accept it.
Notice how it softens
in you as you
look upon it.
Feel the fibers release
enough for you
to decipher the truth
each filament within
the tangled mess holds.
Listen for its sweet voice
to become clear,
remember its forgotten innocence,
 and embrace every
coiled thread of Dukkha
you discover there,
with a heart wide open.

Then breathe out...
allow the breath
to fall and relax.  
Observe as it flows
like cool, refreshing  water
over and through each knot
that continues to 
untwine  and loosen
beneath its fluid presence.
Feel your mind soften
into emptiness,
your body ease into release
and allow
the fingers of judgment
to slip off your being
releasing you
from the twisted hold
your impressions 
have  had on you.
Feel the letting go
of each knot
and the opening
of your heart
as you untangle,
unwind
and wake up
to a healed mind. "

We may shake
our resistant heads
at this sagely advice
and turn our back
on this ancient wisdom.
We may continue
to give into
the knotted restriction,
contraction
and retraction
 of our existence
in the comfort zone.

Or maybe,
just maybe
we will  choose to
practice as instructed,
Maybe we will  stop,
maybe we will breathe,
maybe we will
notice and embrace
that which we have
 tried to push away
 for much too long.

Knots!  Knots!  Knots!
 
These knots hold
healing  secrets
within them
but the choice
is ours to make.
We get to choose  
whether or not
we remain ensnared in
in the twisted
net of suffering
or if we are released
by each and every knot
we bravely behold.

Dale-Lyn April, 2020


I spent a couple of hours ( which is long for me when it comes to poetry) putting this down. I cannot take credit or responsibility for it really.  I was listening to another dharma talk today and because I have been doing up a chap book, I have been processing information in a poetic way.  Thus...my learning coming out in a poem.  Neither "good" or "bad" ...right? Just is!

All is well.

Plum Village ( April 2018) Impulses and Impressions, The Subtleties of Mindfulness Practice. With Br Phap Dung https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=385bDw1tcP0

No Need To Run Away

You just need to learn how to suffer and you will suffer less.
Br Bhap Dung

Hmmm!  Do you believe the above teaching that was originally passed down by Thich Nhat Hanh to the monastics in Plum Village? Do you believe that in order to diminish our sense of suffering, our physical and emotional pain or discomfort, our reactions to what we judge as "unpleasant" life circumstance ...all we need to do is embrace it and "just do it".

How well do you do suffering?

In another absolutely enlightening dharma talk from Plum Village(see link below) the issue of our tendency to push the unpleasant away was addressed. As habitual beings with habitual minds, Br. Bhap Dung tells us  we have two tendencies: To run toward ( which the Buddhists term "grasping") and to run away( "aversion").

What do we run toward?

We tend to run toward, seek, strive for, attempt to attain and maintain the things of this world that we assume will bring joy, peace and happiness to us.  It is safe to say that most of us want to be happy, well, peaceful and joyful, right? So we tend to "grasp" things, people, experiences and life circumstances we believe will bring that to us. Maybe it is a certain career goal you assume will bring you to that state?  A certain amount of money in your bank account?  A certain partner? A perfect sunny sky?  A certain amount of recognition?  A certain life style or circumstance? Or a certain level of fitness and health?

Are we not constantly seeking to gain and maintain these things in our lives because we determine the "pleasant' as the only acceptable experience?  Do we not assume that anything less will be cause for unhappiness?

What do we run from?

What don't you want in your life?  What do you tend to avoid at all costs?  Pain and suffering are things we are conditioned to run from.  We are taught in many ways to not deal with the uncomfortable emotions of fear, anxiety, sadness, grief, anger, frustration or boredom, aren't we? We are taught to "judge" and "discriminate what is good from what is bad; what is pleasant from what is unpleasant; what is acceptable from what is unacceptable. Then we are taught to run, through avoidance, denial, suppression, repression, numbing actions, and seeking for the "pleasant", away from that which we judge as painful.

Suffering is bad thing?

Do you believe that suffering is bad thing that we need to avoid at all costs?  I used to believe this and felt because I had a certain amount of past trauma induced suffering in my life I had to constantly run from one activity to the next, one grasping to the next, one seeking of the pleasant to next?  It was my intended goal to avoid suffering. I am sure I am not alone in that goal.

It wasn't until I got so exhausted I couldn't run anymore that I realized running was fruitless.  I  turned around and there was the original suffering waiting for me to deal with it and on top of that was all the other suffering I accumulated on the way partially due to my running.

Life is not here to please us, she is here to challenge us. Suffering is a part of the experience...a very, very important part. According to Buddhist doctrine it is a noble truth. We need to become aware of it and learn to understand it in order to transcend it.

Removing the "good" and "bad".

In order to find true well being we need to find a middle way between this idea of good and bad, right or wrong.   These judgments keep us grasping and avoiding rather than learning and growing. We don't need to run towards anything nor do we need to run away.  We can simply be with whatever is presented to us in the moment.

We can learn so much through our suffering.  First we must be aware of it, then we must be able to focus on it without that tendency to run away and hide from it and finally we gain insight into where the suffering came from, what it  is saying and what it has to offer us.

We can sit with the "unpleasant".

I started doing this little practice whenever I get Charlie Horses .  I used to get a lot of them and man they were painful. I thought it was  bad experience and I developed a learned resistance to them.  My first reaction whenever I got a Charlie Horse was to scream, jump up and down on my foot...do whatever I could to resist feeling this pain. They would last for minutes when I did this.

 I decided one day to let the  Charlie Horse be...to just experience it, concentrate on it and relax into it.  I truly "noticed it" focusing on it as it crept in and reached a peek of intensity and watched as it then slowly left me. It came and it went and it was like an "aha moment".  I realized this suffering doesn't  last forever.  I gained insight that I  might need more fluid or potassium or calcium in my diet...but mostly I learned I can sit with the uncomfortable. 

So whenever I get a Charlie horse now ( and I seem to be getting a lot less) I just allow them.  I don't judge them as a bad experience and I don't run from them. I almost enjoy using them as part of my practice.

We can do this with anything we deem to be "unpleasant," be it a feeling or an experience. We can use this practice now as we deal with the so called "unpleasant" nature of the consequences of this pandemic. 

First remove the good or bad label and just allow whatever it is to be. Don't avoid it, resist or struggle against it.  Just experience it and be aware of it. What insights can you gain from it?

Suffering is an important part of the human experience. We do not need to run from it. When we learn how  to suffer, we suffer less.

All is well in my world.

Plum Village ( July 2019) Taking Care of suffering, Challenges and Difficulties/ Dharma Talk by Br. Phap Dung https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6P-NrCNUSJU

Wash Your Hands As You Evolve

I am in danger nowhere in the world.
ACIM-W-244

I am skipping way ahead to lesson 244 because I was reminded of those words by Alan Cohen today in a lovely little video he did called,  A Course in Miracles: The Coronavirus, The Economy, and Healing. They also apply to what I wrote about yesterday...this inherent fear response we have.

But!

Now I want you to believe these words...I want you to feel that you are not in danger.  I want you to strive for the peace that fearlessness and defenselessness provide...but unlike Alan Cohen...I am telling you straight out to "Wash Your Hands and Keep Your Distance! Please!"

Nothing To Fear! Miracles Can Happen!

I do not want any of us living in fear over this pandemic.  That will help nothing! So I love the message he shared, I do.  And I agree:  When we have evolved in faith enough to know we cannot be harmed, when we operate fully from that clear capacity of presence and Spirit...seeing who we really are beyond these forms, viral outbreaks  will not only not  touch  us in our true essence, they will not touch us physically.  Faith and a true belief that we cannot be harmed in all realms of our beingness will prevent us from being so.

As we evolve as a human species in our consciousness, we can achieve this "miracle" of mind over matter.  I believe that.  I believe there are some individuals on the planet who have actually achieved this already and therefore  it is a possibility for all of us.  If we learn to control the mind, we can do anything.

But?

My question is...Are we there yet? How many of us are actually there yet in our conscious evolution?  How many have evolved through what A Course calls the "Holy Instant" and have  become this knowing? How many of us are operating from this super-human Faith that leaves all traces of fear behind in the dust?

 I would have to guess that, at this point in our evolutionary process,  there is only a handful.  Though many, many  of us are in the process of becoming more awake and aware; though many of us are learning to transcend fear for love ...we still have fear and ego in our bloodstream.  We are  evolving, yes, but maybe a bit more slowly than others who have transcended in a miraculous moment A Course refers to.

I guess, what I am saying...we are getting there but we as a  species may not have reached that level of collective transcendence yet.  We are still somewhat dependent on the "magic" the physical world supplies and provides in order to give us that sense of safety. Thus we are not ready to breech public health protocol and walk defenseless into a "perceived" heavily contaminated area.  We need to think of all the others who have yet to evolve into this Faith.

So please, wash your hands and keep your social distance as you work on your own spiritual evolution.

Waking Up Is a Process

Waking up for most of us is a process rather than a Holy Instant .  I am not saying the Holy Instant isn't possible...I believe it is...but for most of us...because of our ingrained resistance to truth...waking up will be a process. As long as I still cling to the notion that the physical world around me is real... this virus , I believe, is also real and has the potential to damage the "physical".  I know it cannot damage Who I really am...but I still see it as  somewhat of a threat to this form...which like all physical form is perishable. That is where most of us are in our conscious evolution. 

I believe we are headed in the direction of controlling the physical  with a higher consciousness but we are on still on the path, not at the end of it. It is, I believe, a process for most of us.

As long as we have a foot in each world we have not evolved to full faith...and if we have not evolved to full faith...our bodies can be inhabited by the physical. If the virus enters my body( and I honestly do not spend anytime in fear or panic that it will) I can pass it on to others in this world.

So please...wash your hands and keep your distance, not just for your "sense of safety" but for the physical safety of the millions who have yet to evolve into the greater awareness that they are beyond illness.

All is well in my world.

Alan Cohen (March 17, 2020) A Course in Miracles: Corona Virus, The Economy, And Healing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6GCTY9_ONs

The Crying Baby

The Way Out Is In...
Thich Nhat Hanh


Important Learning: dealing with The Unpleasant


Once again I was taken back to this very important learning...the importance of noticing  our feelings without judgment and then embracing them.  Most of us have a hard time noticing them, let alone embracing them or even allowing them. We are okay with the pleasant feelings.  We will happily go through our day seeking, and "grasping' at those or the things we think will bring them...but when it comes to  the not so pleasant feelings.  Yuck! 

We will do what we can to ignore them, deny them, close up to them, stuff them, run from them, "cover them up" , or numb from them... right?  Just sitting with our feelings is not something many of us find particularly easy because we do not want to face those unpleasant feelings we have a tendency to resist.

Go In Rather Than Out

Yet many Buddhist teachers will tell us that in order to get through this idea of suffering , we must sit with it.  To deal with grief we must sit with it.  To deal with sadness, we must sit with it.  To deal with anger we must sit with it.

Hmmm!  Not only do we need to notice our feeling of suffering...we need to embrace it.  We need to allow it, open up to it, become one with it.

The Crying Baby

Thay Phap Lu'u in his beautiful dharma talk, On Suffering and Happiness , teaches that we should see the suffering inducing emotion as a crying baby doing what it can to get our attention.  Would you ignore your crying baby?  Would you run away from it?  Would you put it in a box in the bottom of your closet just so you wouldn't hear it? Would you feel the need to drown a forty prior to going to it? 

Likely not. 

If you are a loving, compassionate parent as we are all equipped to be you would stop what you were doing at the initial sounds of crying, make your hurried way to the baby, pick it up and hold it to your chest. You would give the baby your full attention.  You  would notice, respond, and embrace the baby before you spent time trying to figure out why the baby was crying. You would be present for it and compassionately and lovingly respond to the baby's needs.  Would you not? You would see that that baby is a part of you and you a part of it. You would see that the baby needs something.

Suffering, Trying To Get Your Attention

Your suffering is trying to get your attention! Yet in our quest not to experience suffering in this life time...we have a tendency to ignore the crying baby of our own unpleasant feelings and experiences.

 We begin by judging what emotional experiences are "good" and which ones are "bad"; which ones are worthy of opening up to and which ones we should close up to. We say "No!" to the ones we judge as unpleasant and unworthy and then we attempt to cover them up with more pleasant feelings.  We look outside ourselves for "things", "circumstances, "experiences and emotions that feel better. ..in hope that they will make the unpleasant go away.  They don't! Our emotions will not go away until we deal with them.

The Way Out Is In

The solution to ending our suffering is not "out there"...it is "in here".  We need to go inward and stop long enough to notice how we are feeling.  We need to allow the feeling, embrace the feeling by putting our full attention on it.  We need to put away our judgement of it. 

Whatever that feeling is...it is worthy of your full attention, your loving understanding because it is a part of you!  It is no less worthy of your attention than happiness is...maybe it is even more worthy because it can teach you and open you up. It is telling you there is something you need to look at...look at it! There is no "good" or "bad" here...there is just what this moment is offering you and all of it is perfect just as it is. 

Accept all of it  Then the baby will stop crying and once content,  it will fall back to sleep in your arms.  You will  find the peace of mind you long for in acceptance of what is!

All is well!

Plum Village ( January 2020) On suffering and Happiness/ Dharma Talk by Thay Bhap Lu'u. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9kckqDP2KA