Do not deny negative circumstance. Simply have faith in what you believe and refuse to accept negative circumstance as final.
Uell S. Andersen, Three Magic Words, Loc 2292
Working through The Three Magic Words again, this time at the exclusion of other teachings...just so I can get a full grip of this. I am not judging or analysing the validity of what is being taught...just studying it slowly and testing how it feels within me, piece by piece, chapter by chapter. I am doing the meditations and I am using EFT as I do. ( I just remembered how Bruce Lipton and a few others have recommended EFT as a means to putting belief in our subconscious...and thought why not? Trying to keep this mind of mine as open as possible.)
At the beginning of this study I had issues right off with the author's insistence on " denying negative circumstance". I am a firm believer that "suffering' exists. Maybe it doesn't have to exist and only our minds are responsible for it ; maybe there is a way through it when we change our minds but it does exist. Throughout the book...negative circumstance and suffering is referred to as "evil'...and I prefer not to label it as such. I prefer to think of it as neither good or bad...just is.
Today I found some clarification in the above quote. It is not so much a matter of denying or pretending what is occurring in the physical world is negative. It is simply about choosing differently. So something goes wrong...you lose your house in a fire. It would be strange to think you have to pretend that it didn't happen. It did and it sucks. For a while, it is expected, that you will be caught up in the negativity of this. You will place your faith in the notion that "bad things happen and will keep happening. " because they did. You have the proof in front of you right?
But...this is putting all our focus on the material world...what it has to offer and what it has to take away....not on the power of the spiritual and mental world It is putting faith in the wrong direction...on things that will not bring joy, love, abundance and wellness into your life.
You see...according to Andersen's teachings...the mind (the Universal Subconscious Mind, that is) is all powerful. It acts according to whatever thought the conscious mind inputs into it with great conviction or belief. It is our thinking that determines what shows up in our lives. All things are first a thought and all thoughts are simply things.
Hmmm!
So if you have a core belief in this powerful Subconscious mind that says, "Bad things are always happening and are going to keep happening." Guess what? Bad things are going to show up, again and again in your outer experience. The house fire is an example of that. You believed it and it showed up. Whatever belief we strongly adhere to in the subconscious...will become a reality in our physical world. We have faith in what we can experience with the five senses and we could experience this situation as such...so it became our reality.
When we focus on outer world as the final reality...all there is ...because that is all the senses are picking up...we deny or neglect the reality within...the mind and spirit reality ...the real truth.
We can choose another way and choose another thought. As the thoughts come through our consciousness as they will constantly do ...it is up to us to choose which ones we want to create with...Do you want to keep creating with "Bad things happen and keep happening."? Or maybe with, "Things always work out in the end. This is a temporary misfortune but things will turn around for the better." ? With the latter you are not denying the fire but you are refocusing on something more positive by recognizing the fleeting nature of circumstance. Circumstance does not have to determine our inner reality. Our inner reality can determine our circumstances. It is guaranteed that if we keep focusing on the 'things will turn around" bit...things will turn around. Positive things will start happening in our lives.
We do need to deny the negative happenings ...we just have to recognize they are not our final reality. That reality is determined, not by the physical world, but by the mental and spiritual one.
Hmm!
Something to think about.
All is well
Monday, August 24, 2020
Saturday, August 22, 2020
Water, Water Everywhere...
Water, water everywhere...
and the boards did shrink;
Water, water everywhere
nor any drop to drink...
Samuel Coleridge,The Rime of the Ancient Mariner
We finally have water after five days without. What a wonderful opportunity to appreciate what we so take for granted....running water, water in general. As I washed the dishes with my hard earned supply I was so careful not to allow one drop to get wasted. As I did that I found myself more mindful...more in the moment...holding each dish or cup or fork carefully and rinsing with upmost awareness. Before I would just grab each utensil without thinking and pour water over each dish allowing so much water to rush down the drain without conscious awareness, let alone concern. Hmmm.
Now I don't want to focus on limitation and I did not want to make this a practice of preservation. I am, after all, studying Andersen's teachings right now and am in the process of convincing myself of abundance everywhere...of the " water, water everywhere" of Coleridge's infamous poem ...not the shrinking and no drop to drink part (the opposite of expansion and abundance) .
I wanted to make it a practice of mindfulness, awareness, presence and appreciation. I am mindful and aware of the water pouring through my faucet in abundance. I reconnect with the moment as I watch it, feel it, use it and drink it. I appreciate. I really do...and I want this to continue for a long time after this experience. I want to remember in gratitude what is all around me.
Now in keeping with the teaching...I did affirm in my meditation this morning that we would have water today and we did. Thanks, of course, to D.'s perseverance and ingenuity, as well as the cooperating intelligence of all that is. No longer taking the abundance of Life for granted. Grateful!!!
All is well.
Friday, August 21, 2020
The Perfect Plan
I have complete confidence that every circumstance that comes my way is part of a perfect plan to convert the image of my faith into physical reality.
Uell S. andersen
Man, I am absolutely absorbed by this book. I am spending all my time, it seems, on it. When I am not helping with the big plumbing issue we have, that is.
We have had no water since Tuesday. It started when I did not realize the power was out after coming in from outside and began to wash the dishes. We have a well dependent on an electric pump. When I ran the water when the pump couldn't work I filled up the pipes with air and when the pump was not turned off after the power came back...the air lock did a number on the foot valve. D. is doing the plumbing himself and though he is getting it done we seem to come up with one minor complication after another. Hopefully we will have water today. I really, really want water coming through my faucets and flushing my toilet again. :)
At first, I looked at the waterless experience as an adventure...felt like a pioneer woman fetching water ( from my sister's taps) and conserving and protecting my limited resource. It made me appreciate water and the convenience in having it come from our faucets. Now...I am tired of this adventure and want the plumbing I once took for granted back.
It is all good. It really is. It is as it is. I still see the order and abundance in everything. And I believe it happened for a reason. This circumstance , like every circumstance, came into my life as a part of the divine plan to "convert the image of my faith into physical reality". In the perfect plan, if I want water and truly believe that I can have it back...I will get it. The experience also offered a little opportunity for appreciation of the abundance in this life we take for granted.
I wrote this in May, 2020 (It was written lol) about appreciating water in the faucet.
Tiny Jewel
So easily unseen
by the unmindful eye,
one shiny glistening jewel,
captured in a tiny drop,
suspends so delicately
from the faucet's mouth.
Catching the busy fluorescent lighting
in a flickering of remembering
an ancient history
a perfectly clear lake,
glacial and cold,
once reflecting sunlight, moonlight
and mountain peak
in still and spacious waters.
One tiny expression of
This mighty Source
now seemingly so fragile,
at the mercy of gravitational fingers
that threaten to pull it into
the forgotten depths
at the bottom of the sink
you so take for granted.
Yet, it clings tenaciously to
the last stage of this long
and arduous journey
that has taken it,
in many changing forms,
down snow capped trails,
and hidden streams,
through roaring rivers
and awaiting oceans
to this,
to you,
in hope you will see
the mountain lake within it.
See the ruby, the diamond
and the sparkling sapphire
in its tiny little presence
before it loses its desperate hold
on the metal lip of your appliance.
Reach up to capture it
in your cold and open hand.
Notice it, thank it, embrace it,
and use it wisely.
Recognize The Source
of all things in it.
Allow its final destination
to be one of restful peace
by showing it that the sacrifice it
has made for you
will not go unnoticed.
Uell S. andersen
Man, I am absolutely absorbed by this book. I am spending all my time, it seems, on it. When I am not helping with the big plumbing issue we have, that is.
We have had no water since Tuesday. It started when I did not realize the power was out after coming in from outside and began to wash the dishes. We have a well dependent on an electric pump. When I ran the water when the pump couldn't work I filled up the pipes with air and when the pump was not turned off after the power came back...the air lock did a number on the foot valve. D. is doing the plumbing himself and though he is getting it done we seem to come up with one minor complication after another. Hopefully we will have water today. I really, really want water coming through my faucets and flushing my toilet again. :)
At first, I looked at the waterless experience as an adventure...felt like a pioneer woman fetching water ( from my sister's taps) and conserving and protecting my limited resource. It made me appreciate water and the convenience in having it come from our faucets. Now...I am tired of this adventure and want the plumbing I once took for granted back.
It is all good. It really is. It is as it is. I still see the order and abundance in everything. And I believe it happened for a reason. This circumstance , like every circumstance, came into my life as a part of the divine plan to "convert the image of my faith into physical reality". In the perfect plan, if I want water and truly believe that I can have it back...I will get it. The experience also offered a little opportunity for appreciation of the abundance in this life we take for granted.
I wrote this in May, 2020 (It was written lol) about appreciating water in the faucet.
Tiny Jewel
So easily unseen
by the unmindful eye,
one shiny glistening jewel,
captured in a tiny drop,
suspends so delicately
from the faucet's mouth.
Catching the busy fluorescent lighting
in a flickering of remembering
an ancient history
a perfectly clear lake,
glacial and cold,
once reflecting sunlight, moonlight
and mountain peak
in still and spacious waters.
One tiny expression of
This mighty Source
now seemingly so fragile,
at the mercy of gravitational fingers
that threaten to pull it into
the forgotten depths
at the bottom of the sink
you so take for granted.
Yet, it clings tenaciously to
the last stage of this long
and arduous journey
that has taken it,
in many changing forms,
down snow capped trails,
and hidden streams,
through roaring rivers
and awaiting oceans
to this,
to you,
in hope you will see
the mountain lake within it.
See the ruby, the diamond
and the sparkling sapphire
in its tiny little presence
before it loses its desperate hold
on the metal lip of your appliance.
Reach up to capture it
in your cold and open hand.
Notice it, thank it, embrace it,
and use it wisely.
Recognize The Source
of all things in it.
Allow its final destination
to be one of restful peace
by showing it that the sacrifice it
has made for you
will not go unnoticed.
© Dale-Lynn 2020
All is well.
All is well.
Thursday, August 20, 2020
Harmony or Chaos in Unity?
You are one with every form of life that exists, every inanimate object of your world. For all things are made from one thing and thus all things are one thing, and objects and circumstances exist as the result of conception and desire being projected into the infinite creative substance of which we are all a part, in which we are all one.
Andersen, Uell S.. Three Magic Words . BN Publishing. Kindle Edition.
Harmony or Chaos?
Do you concentrate on finding the harmony, the peace, the cooperation, and the "order" around you or the destructiveness, the chaos and threat? I find myself focusing much too often on chaos and destructiveness.
My house seems to be surrounded by wasp nests. The aggressive kind of wasps...the big black ones with the white striping. They are nesting on the door lamp outside my front door, on the eave of the garage and on the gazebo. We cannot get closer that 15 feet to these nests before they start swarming...and there is a lot in each one. Sometimes as many as thirty wasps will come out to attack and defend at once. D. has been stung an accumulated ten times.
We cannot use the front door...even if we go up towards it...they come flying at the window. We cannot get into the shed where several things are kept and we have to be very careful going out the back door by the gazebo. Now this looks disorderly, chaotic and threatening for sure...and even more so for my body being that I am allergic.
I keep reminding myself , I cannot get stung ten times like D. did. I cannot get stung once. Even if it is only a large local reaction I get...which I fear is not the case...I have to be careful. I got stung on the thumb by a tiny hornet two summers ago and within 6 minutes my hand and arm was so swollen I couldn't separate my fingers. When I got stung by a wasp as a child...I swelled everywhere it seems, vomited, and passed out. I don't want to take the chance of another wasp sting. Yet there they are all around my house, diving into the window to get at me when I look out.
Seeing disorder and potential destruction?
I do not want to harm them. They have as much right to life as I do. Yet...it isn't safe for me or anyone who doesn't know better and attempts to use the front door to have them where they are. So we decided to "humanely" encourage them to leave. Don stood a distance away and sprayed two of the nests with the hose. We had hoped that they would sense their environment was no longer suitable and fly off into the sunset. Not the case. They just got mad and even more defensive and offensive. One nest was pretty much wiped out...but still they came back again and again in an attempt to rebuild. Each time they came back they were more aggressive and more determined. We sensed more disorder and the potential for destruction.
Nature is actually quite orderly and constructive
Then it dawned on me that I...all of us here...were focusing on the destructiveness of these creatures, on the disharmony and chaos they were adding to ''our" lives. We did not recognize the other side. They are probably much more constructive than destructive. These are pollinating insects...they serve a very important role in ensuring that life continues to flourish around us. I stand back now....way, way back...and watch them build their homes, watch them in their determined perseverance to keep going in the restoration project, so they can create, multiply, live. I watch how they work together as a team and witness perfect harmony and order. I see peace in their relating with one another and peace with how they relate with nature (man with spraying hose excluded).
I had a choice, I realized. I could keep focusing on my fear and how they could "destroy" me...or I could focus on the order, the harmony, the peace and "goodness' these little creatures add to this world. By focusing on my fear I add more reasons to fear...I become much too aware of their nests, their numbers and the threat they pose to my body. The more I focus on the negative, the more these wasps keep multiplying, and posing a posing a risk. What if I spend more time focusing on the good they do and leave them alone and let them be until their time comes ( one more month, I believe) ? Can I do that? It feels so much better to focus on peace rather than fear. I was even able to go up to the window and watch them yesterday (through some thick glass lol) and they peacefully went about their business.
All is well.
Andersen, Uell S.. Three Magic Words . BN Publishing. Kindle Edition.
Andersen, Uell S.. Three Magic Words . BN Publishing. Kindle Edition.
Harmony or Chaos?
Do you concentrate on finding the harmony, the peace, the cooperation, and the "order" around you or the destructiveness, the chaos and threat? I find myself focusing much too often on chaos and destructiveness.
My house seems to be surrounded by wasp nests. The aggressive kind of wasps...the big black ones with the white striping. They are nesting on the door lamp outside my front door, on the eave of the garage and on the gazebo. We cannot get closer that 15 feet to these nests before they start swarming...and there is a lot in each one. Sometimes as many as thirty wasps will come out to attack and defend at once. D. has been stung an accumulated ten times.
We cannot use the front door...even if we go up towards it...they come flying at the window. We cannot get into the shed where several things are kept and we have to be very careful going out the back door by the gazebo. Now this looks disorderly, chaotic and threatening for sure...and even more so for my body being that I am allergic.
I keep reminding myself , I cannot get stung ten times like D. did. I cannot get stung once. Even if it is only a large local reaction I get...which I fear is not the case...I have to be careful. I got stung on the thumb by a tiny hornet two summers ago and within 6 minutes my hand and arm was so swollen I couldn't separate my fingers. When I got stung by a wasp as a child...I swelled everywhere it seems, vomited, and passed out. I don't want to take the chance of another wasp sting. Yet there they are all around my house, diving into the window to get at me when I look out.
Seeing disorder and potential destruction?
I do not want to harm them. They have as much right to life as I do. Yet...it isn't safe for me or anyone who doesn't know better and attempts to use the front door to have them where they are. So we decided to "humanely" encourage them to leave. Don stood a distance away and sprayed two of the nests with the hose. We had hoped that they would sense their environment was no longer suitable and fly off into the sunset. Not the case. They just got mad and even more defensive and offensive. One nest was pretty much wiped out...but still they came back again and again in an attempt to rebuild. Each time they came back they were more aggressive and more determined. We sensed more disorder and the potential for destruction.
Nature is actually quite orderly and constructive
Then it dawned on me that I...all of us here...were focusing on the destructiveness of these creatures, on the disharmony and chaos they were adding to ''our" lives. We did not recognize the other side. They are probably much more constructive than destructive. These are pollinating insects...they serve a very important role in ensuring that life continues to flourish around us. I stand back now....way, way back...and watch them build their homes, watch them in their determined perseverance to keep going in the restoration project, so they can create, multiply, live. I watch how they work together as a team and witness perfect harmony and order. I see peace in their relating with one another and peace with how they relate with nature (man with spraying hose excluded).
I had a choice, I realized. I could keep focusing on my fear and how they could "destroy" me...or I could focus on the order, the harmony, the peace and "goodness' these little creatures add to this world. By focusing on my fear I add more reasons to fear...I become much too aware of their nests, their numbers and the threat they pose to my body. The more I focus on the negative, the more these wasps keep multiplying, and posing a posing a risk. What if I spend more time focusing on the good they do and leave them alone and let them be until their time comes ( one more month, I believe) ? Can I do that? It feels so much better to focus on peace rather than fear. I was even able to go up to the window and watch them yesterday (through some thick glass lol) and they peacefully went about their business.
All is well.
Andersen, Uell S.. Three Magic Words . BN Publishing. Kindle Edition.
Wednesday, August 19, 2020
Weeds or Flowers? You Choose!
Given the proper suggestion, the Subconscious Mind will manifest success from failure, health from disease, prosperity from poverty, friendship and love from loneliness and isolation. For nothing is impossible to the Subconscious Mind and it operates entirely by suggestion.
Andersen, Uell S..
Hmmm! I am studying Uell S. Andersen's Three Magic Words right now and am committed to only focusing on those teachings until I am done. But Serendipity will do as serendipity seems to do when I am focusing on any truths...it will offer me the same wisdom in another form as if to validate what is being taught. Today...I came across a video from Eckhart Tolle, The Essence of Universal Abundance. Though I was resisting other teachings, something made me stop and listen. It was, of course, basically reiterating the same truth, validating, in a sense, Andersen's teachings. One truth from One Source...right?...it is all one truth.
Deprived?
We often feel that the world is withholding from us, don't we? We often feel that the universe is depriving us of love, money, health, success, recognition etc. The more deprived we believe we are...the more "deprived " we become. Did you notice that? I certainly have.
Why is that?
Now I don't want to get into the "law of attraction" even though I believe a natural and spiritual law of mental creation exists. I just don't like what was "done with it"...how it was put out there and how we were encouraged to use it. So I may not refer to it as such, k? Yes our thoughts, more precisely our beliefs , create our external reality. I have spoken about that many, many times. But the mind that creates is powerful and divine. It is not helpful to humanity, to waste its energy trying to manifest a 1,000,000,000 dollar mansion or a new Porsche that will not bring us any closer to that which we truly seek...understanding of Self .
Andersen uses the term, Universal Subconscious Mind to explain the infinite everything that creates everything when conscious mind suggests things to it with great conviction. Scientists may call this creator infinity. Eckhart Tolle, in the video, called in the One Source and Essence of Life. I call it God.
Why doesn't it seem to be giving us what we want when we place our orders?
If it is loaded down with "prompters", convictions and beliefs that the world is limited and so are we; that we are unworthy and being punished; that we are vulnerable to sickness and despair, than we will be. No matter how many times you affirm in a mirror that "abundance is coming my way"...it won't come if these prompters are growing like weeds in your psyche. You have to do something about the weeds.
In other words:
- Know that you create your world with your thoughts! Accept that fact, allow it and be grateful for it!
- Know what you are suggesting.
- Become more diligent about what you allow into your mind, what seeds you plant, what seeds you water.
- Stop watering the weeds that are there. Recognize the weeds in your mental garden and then do your best to ignore them.
- Focus your attention instead on the flowers. Recognize the abundance that exists around you...in you, in nature, in life. The positive and the "good" will always take the place of the negative and "not so good".
- Open your eyes to the truth of the Life force behind them that is greater than you could ever be but at the same time know you (and the flowers) are a part of.
- Appreciate what is. Fall in love with what is. If you want more, first love and accept what is.
- Know that all abundance, the fullness of Life, manifests through you .
- Know that it isn't about "owning" anything. Just know that all forms, including your body and intelligent mind, are simply a manifestation of essence. It is contacting this essence that is important. That is what you truly want.
- Give and you shall receive. ...but don't give for the purpose of receiving.
- Know that manifestations of this Great power want to be recognized. Therefore recognition of abundance around you will draw abundance to you .
- Trust in this universal power to provide and support but do not demand and expect it to work a certain way, at a certain time and in a certain place, for your personal preference. There is nothing personal about it.
- Know you are abundance!
All is well.
Andersen, Uell S.. Three Magic Words . BN Publishing. Kindle Edition.
Eckhart Tolle ( August 12, 2020) The Essence of Universal Abundance. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIp6m9V04aI
Tuesday, August 18, 2020
The Power of the One Mind
Thy life is an image inexorably cast
By the pictures that form in thy mind
And that which thou see'st is that which thou hast
see'st thou evil, and evil is thine.
?? Opening to Chapter Two, Three Magic Words
When I first read these words, all the words that open the chapters of this book ,I had to question where they came from. Sounds like Shakespeare, doesn't it? Or a poem by Ralph Waldo Emerson or an excerpt from Milton's Paradise Lost? It really doesn't sound like a poem a poet in the 1950's would write, does it? I didn't see any acknowledgement of another writer and he does not give credit to anyone else...so I assume they are his words.
Change the idea of a thing and you change the thing.
Earnest Holmes
I know ! I know! I need to finish up those lessons in ACIM...but I am like a Grade Three student with ADHD...all over the place lol. They will get done but for now other things are grabbing my attention...and all the things that do, I am glad to report, remind me of the lessons in ACIM. There really is only One Truth, right? No matter how it is written or expressed.
Right now I am revisiting, Uell S. Andersen's Three Magic Words. I gave it a quick read months ago. I then did the meditations on a daily basis a month ago...but I meant to sit with the teachings and really examine them. Are they different than the other things I have been studying?"Yes". Are they the same? Yes. Neither the same or different.
I do see many of the things Andersen writes about in ACIM: the One Mind, the power of thought in creating our lives, how evil, pain, suffering, disease, lack, limitation, "wrong doing", sin.etc is all just illusion. When we recognize it as such it can dissipate into nothingness. Anything that is "good" ( they do use those terms throughout the book..."good' and/or "bad'...but I see it as that which helps us get closer to truth and that which makes us realize we are in err) is truth...the most "skillful, helpful, clear minded path" as the Buddhists might refer to it.
There is great wisdom in this book. It echoes of the same wisdom found in parts of the Bible, the Tao Te Ching, Buddhist Dharma, The Yoga Sutras as well as ACIM.
Evil is the great illusion of all time. ...
If God is a God of Love, He did not create evil.
Only then will you know that the erect and the fallen are but one man standing in twilight between the night of his pygmy self and the day of his God-Self.
How do those words make you feel? Do you see evil as a fear-worthy something outside yourself or as some kind of a dream you created with your mind? ACIM also claims it is simply an illusion a dream. Evil, I guess, would be that which makes any being suffer.
Do you still see God as a vengeful parental figure or as the pure formless essence of Love? If you believe the former you will believe evil is something "out there" that could hurt you and others. If you believe the latter, you will believe that God could never harm us...that He ( and I use that pronoun loosely as a pointer) would never want us harmed or suffering but that He has given us free will to choose how we express the Love, His Love that flows through us . If you believe the former...you probably have circumstances showing up in your life that you deem as pleasant and unpleasant. You probably work hard to avoid punishment and when something goes astray you may believe you did something sinful or wrong to justify that punishment. If you believe the latter...you may peacefully flow through life no matter what circumstances come your way.
We are neither good or bad either...we are simply evolving from thinking, feeling, doing that which leads us away from truth and that which leads us to it. We are all moving towards God.
God is neutral, our thinking isn't. Thoughts with strong conviction become beliefs stored in the Universal Subconscious Mind ( Which Andersen says is God) . It is the creator of all things.
If you have strong thoughts about bad things happening and you have faith that they will...these thoughts become prompters or core beliefs in the Subconscious Mind. The Subconscious Mind is neutral...it doesn't judge what you think...it just acts on it. It acts on those beliefs that have a lot of faith and conviction behind them. It manifests what you are believing into physical reality.
Not only that...it is not your Subconscious Mind...though you are apart of it and it is in you. It is every being's Subconscious Mind...meaning that you are not the only one inputting strong thoughts into it. You can create an experience for your neighbor with your thoughts if they are made strong with conviction. Your neighbor can make one for you. It is therefore very important to be selective in what thoughts you allow into that head of yours...Choose carefully which ones you water and allow to grow.
The door is always open to admit the positive, the good, the beautiful and the aspiring.
Hmmm! So much more to learn and share. I will be back.
All is well!
Andersen, Uell S.. Three Magic Words . BN Publishing. Kindle Edition.
By the pictures that form in thy mind
And that which thou see'st is that which thou hast
see'st thou evil, and evil is thine.
?? Opening to Chapter Two, Three Magic Words
When I first read these words, all the words that open the chapters of this book ,I had to question where they came from. Sounds like Shakespeare, doesn't it? Or a poem by Ralph Waldo Emerson or an excerpt from Milton's Paradise Lost? It really doesn't sound like a poem a poet in the 1950's would write, does it? I didn't see any acknowledgement of another writer and he does not give credit to anyone else...so I assume they are his words.
Change the idea of a thing and you change the thing.
Earnest Holmes
I know ! I know! I need to finish up those lessons in ACIM...but I am like a Grade Three student with ADHD...all over the place lol. They will get done but for now other things are grabbing my attention...and all the things that do, I am glad to report, remind me of the lessons in ACIM. There really is only One Truth, right? No matter how it is written or expressed.
Right now I am revisiting, Uell S. Andersen's Three Magic Words. I gave it a quick read months ago. I then did the meditations on a daily basis a month ago...but I meant to sit with the teachings and really examine them. Are they different than the other things I have been studying?"Yes". Are they the same? Yes. Neither the same or different.
I do see many of the things Andersen writes about in ACIM: the One Mind, the power of thought in creating our lives, how evil, pain, suffering, disease, lack, limitation, "wrong doing", sin.etc is all just illusion. When we recognize it as such it can dissipate into nothingness. Anything that is "good" ( they do use those terms throughout the book..."good' and/or "bad'...but I see it as that which helps us get closer to truth and that which makes us realize we are in err) is truth...the most "skillful, helpful, clear minded path" as the Buddhists might refer to it.
There is great wisdom in this book. It echoes of the same wisdom found in parts of the Bible, the Tao Te Ching, Buddhist Dharma, The Yoga Sutras as well as ACIM.
Evil is the great illusion of all time. ...
If God is a God of Love, He did not create evil.
Only then will you know that the erect and the fallen are but one man standing in twilight between the night of his pygmy self and the day of his God-Self.
How do those words make you feel? Do you see evil as a fear-worthy something outside yourself or as some kind of a dream you created with your mind? ACIM also claims it is simply an illusion a dream. Evil, I guess, would be that which makes any being suffer.
Do you still see God as a vengeful parental figure or as the pure formless essence of Love? If you believe the former you will believe evil is something "out there" that could hurt you and others. If you believe the latter, you will believe that God could never harm us...that He ( and I use that pronoun loosely as a pointer) would never want us harmed or suffering but that He has given us free will to choose how we express the Love, His Love that flows through us . If you believe the former...you probably have circumstances showing up in your life that you deem as pleasant and unpleasant. You probably work hard to avoid punishment and when something goes astray you may believe you did something sinful or wrong to justify that punishment. If you believe the latter...you may peacefully flow through life no matter what circumstances come your way.
We are neither good or bad either...we are simply evolving from thinking, feeling, doing that which leads us away from truth and that which leads us to it. We are all moving towards God.
God is neutral, our thinking isn't. Thoughts with strong conviction become beliefs stored in the Universal Subconscious Mind ( Which Andersen says is God) . It is the creator of all things.
If you have strong thoughts about bad things happening and you have faith that they will...these thoughts become prompters or core beliefs in the Subconscious Mind. The Subconscious Mind is neutral...it doesn't judge what you think...it just acts on it. It acts on those beliefs that have a lot of faith and conviction behind them. It manifests what you are believing into physical reality.
Not only that...it is not your Subconscious Mind...though you are apart of it and it is in you. It is every being's Subconscious Mind...meaning that you are not the only one inputting strong thoughts into it. You can create an experience for your neighbor with your thoughts if they are made strong with conviction. Your neighbor can make one for you. It is therefore very important to be selective in what thoughts you allow into that head of yours...Choose carefully which ones you water and allow to grow.
The door is always open to admit the positive, the good, the beautiful and the aspiring.
Hmmm! So much more to learn and share. I will be back.
All is well!
Andersen, Uell S.. Three Magic Words . BN Publishing. Kindle Edition.
Monday, August 17, 2020
Going Deep, Beyond Identity
Many of us are trapped on the surface level of existence with our egoic self but "know'' instinctively that something isn't "right", that something very important is missing from our experience.
-Eckhart Tolle ( paraphrased)
Hmmm! As I wrote yesterday I have been pondering over the need for specific outer world identity. I still, embarrassingly, seek to make the ego into something others can "Ooooh" and "Aweee" over but at the same time I know it isn't right. I know this creation of an "idea" of me in mine and others' minds will not sustain me, will not fulfill me. No matter how many books I get published, how many "oooohs and awes" I get 'out there' for whatever I say or do...there will always be more important stuff that I am missing. That thing I am missing is actually not a thing...it is formless and eternal...nameless and never changing. It really can't be identified as any'thing' but at the same time, it is every'thing'. The thing I miss is connection to who I really am.
Who Am I?
Who am I? Who are you...really?
Deeply within us is another identity...what Tolle refers to as the "Essence Identity" . Are you aware of that? Do you sense yours and are you living harmoniously and mindfully with your essence identity? Or are you stuck on the surface level?
Many of us go through life focusing on building the identity of "little me" while ignoring the very essence of who we are. We are taught that this materialist world we live in...made of matter, thoughts and emotions...pleasure and pain...is all there is to our existence. It is our only dimension. Surviving here means having a "strong" form identity. That strong identity can make us appear superior to everyone else or it can make us appear to be victims...either way these are identities we create and cling to...and work diligently to strengthen...in our mind only. They are in actuality only "ideas". Attachment to these ideas is quite normal but insane
It is a dreadful state to be in, but it is normal...normal is insanity. (Tolle, video below)
Going Deep, Beyond Identity
If we truly want to transcend this surface level suffering; if we truly want to live in a higher state of being, experiencing peace, harmony and Love more often...we have to go deeper. We do not need to keep building identities of "me, my and mine'' on the top layers. That will never fulfill us. We need to go to that level of consciousness that is deeper than personality, personal history, or any role we play. This "essence identity" can only be found there and it isn't yours and it isn't mine. There is nothing personal about it. It just is and it is looking to express itself through you as well as me.
Human Consciousness Evolves Through You
Human consciousness is attempting to evolve through each of us whether we are open to it or not. If these words I use as pointers make absolutely no sense to you right now...you are not yet open. If they do make sense, even just a bit, and you find yourself with your hand on your chin saying, "hmmm..." as you slowly begin to look inward beyond your thoughts and ideas of who you think you are, to that quiet still spacious something on which all surface things of form arise and dissolve...then maybe you too are open for a little evolving to come through.
All is well!
Eckhart Tolle Now ( February 2019) Who Am I? guided Meditation with Kim Eng. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qk5dlmylOZk
(recommend this guided meditation over many others)
Eckhart Tolle (June 23, 2020) Ego Identity & The Path to Inner Peace. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcsgCytw1BA
-Eckhart Tolle ( paraphrased)
Hmmm! As I wrote yesterday I have been pondering over the need for specific outer world identity. I still, embarrassingly, seek to make the ego into something others can "Ooooh" and "Aweee" over but at the same time I know it isn't right. I know this creation of an "idea" of me in mine and others' minds will not sustain me, will not fulfill me. No matter how many books I get published, how many "oooohs and awes" I get 'out there' for whatever I say or do...there will always be more important stuff that I am missing. That thing I am missing is actually not a thing...it is formless and eternal...nameless and never changing. It really can't be identified as any'thing' but at the same time, it is every'thing'. The thing I miss is connection to who I really am.
Who Am I?
Who am I? Who are you...really?
Deeply within us is another identity...what Tolle refers to as the "Essence Identity" . Are you aware of that? Do you sense yours and are you living harmoniously and mindfully with your essence identity? Or are you stuck on the surface level?
Many of us go through life focusing on building the identity of "little me" while ignoring the very essence of who we are. We are taught that this materialist world we live in...made of matter, thoughts and emotions...pleasure and pain...is all there is to our existence. It is our only dimension. Surviving here means having a "strong" form identity. That strong identity can make us appear superior to everyone else or it can make us appear to be victims...either way these are identities we create and cling to...and work diligently to strengthen...in our mind only. They are in actuality only "ideas". Attachment to these ideas is quite normal but insane
It is a dreadful state to be in, but it is normal...normal is insanity. (Tolle, video below)
Going Deep, Beyond Identity
If we truly want to transcend this surface level suffering; if we truly want to live in a higher state of being, experiencing peace, harmony and Love more often...we have to go deeper. We do not need to keep building identities of "me, my and mine'' on the top layers. That will never fulfill us. We need to go to that level of consciousness that is deeper than personality, personal history, or any role we play. This "essence identity" can only be found there and it isn't yours and it isn't mine. There is nothing personal about it. It just is and it is looking to express itself through you as well as me.
Human Consciousness Evolves Through You
Human consciousness is attempting to evolve through each of us whether we are open to it or not. If these words I use as pointers make absolutely no sense to you right now...you are not yet open. If they do make sense, even just a bit, and you find yourself with your hand on your chin saying, "hmmm..." as you slowly begin to look inward beyond your thoughts and ideas of who you think you are, to that quiet still spacious something on which all surface things of form arise and dissolve...then maybe you too are open for a little evolving to come through.
All is well!
Eckhart Tolle Now ( February 2019) Who Am I? guided Meditation with Kim Eng. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qk5dlmylOZk
(recommend this guided meditation over many others)
Eckhart Tolle (June 23, 2020) Ego Identity & The Path to Inner Peace. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcsgCytw1BA
Sunday, August 16, 2020
Ordinary or Extraordinary?
Do not try to be special. If you are ordinary, more ordinary than others, you will become extraordinary.
Sadhguru
Is it okay to be ordinary? To be mediocre in talent and achievement? To obviously not stand out amongst the masses and be noticed as "special"?
Sometimes I fear that very thing. I wake up every night at least once with my body speaking desperately to me. I have that intense pressure in my underarm demanding to be heard. I am not sure what it is telling me but for a moment, because of the fear I still have around this issue and the way it was handled, I wonder if my time is coming. I then find myself reviewing what I have accomplished in this six month wait I have been given...this tidying up opportunity. I have this strong urge to finish up what I am doing with my writing and my teaching. I fear if I don't get everything in neat organized packages, all the work I have done, all the words I strung together, everything I thought I created or did will just become dust that floats away in the evening breeze...unrecognized, unseen, unappreciated.
It surprises me how I desperately want to leave something "special" behind. I realize that my "urge" to have my poetry out there, to have my books published, to teach, and to pass on the little bit of wisdom I have gained through the years to my kids, and to the world is based on this need to leave something, not only valuable, but "noticeable" behind. What I am trying to do... beyond the higher motivation for giving which I definitely have...is to preserve ego...this little version of "me" I identify as...to blow it up into something "special" that will stick in people's minds . My ego doesn't want to be ordinary. It doesn't want to go unnoticed. It wants to be special. It wants to be remembered.
Hmmm! Even though I was always a bit of an introvert and shy...the ego part of me was always pushing me to "stand out" in the things I did and the roles I played. As a teacher, a speaker, a parent, in social groups etc...I wanted to be seen...heard...noticed. So when I look at what "me" says I created...and see how mediocre it is, I feel deflated somewhat. When my photos are mediocre or less than mediocre I feel it in my gut. When I don't get publication or external validation...I feel deflated. It leads me to see how mediocre and ordinary the poetry is, the writing is...and therefore, I tell myself, I am. Was my life mediocre and ordinary?
My life has such a story to it...it really does...a story that others could learn from. I want to put that together into something I can share, in fear that if I don't this suffering and learning I lived will have so little meaning, that it will do so little good. My mind works in a unique and fascinating way taking me to higher understanding...I fear if I do not share it...this thing my mind does/all minds do will go unnoticed and will therefore be meaningless. There is something in me that pushes words gently and sometimes not so gently through me...and if no one sees these words because they are judged as "mediocre" and "ordinary" , will they and this amazing creative breath that blows through me be meaningless too?
I guess I am determining the meaningfulness of something by how it is "received by others", not on the fact that it simply is what it is and the Self in me recognizes the perfection of that isness. In which case ordinary is extraordinary. I don't know. I once heard from a Buddhist teacher that being ordinary is the highest achievement in Buddhism. Maybe I have achieved more than I thought I did.
All is well.
Sadhguru
Is it okay to be ordinary? To be mediocre in talent and achievement? To obviously not stand out amongst the masses and be noticed as "special"?
Sometimes I fear that very thing. I wake up every night at least once with my body speaking desperately to me. I have that intense pressure in my underarm demanding to be heard. I am not sure what it is telling me but for a moment, because of the fear I still have around this issue and the way it was handled, I wonder if my time is coming. I then find myself reviewing what I have accomplished in this six month wait I have been given...this tidying up opportunity. I have this strong urge to finish up what I am doing with my writing and my teaching. I fear if I don't get everything in neat organized packages, all the work I have done, all the words I strung together, everything I thought I created or did will just become dust that floats away in the evening breeze...unrecognized, unseen, unappreciated.
It surprises me how I desperately want to leave something "special" behind. I realize that my "urge" to have my poetry out there, to have my books published, to teach, and to pass on the little bit of wisdom I have gained through the years to my kids, and to the world is based on this need to leave something, not only valuable, but "noticeable" behind. What I am trying to do... beyond the higher motivation for giving which I definitely have...is to preserve ego...this little version of "me" I identify as...to blow it up into something "special" that will stick in people's minds . My ego doesn't want to be ordinary. It doesn't want to go unnoticed. It wants to be special. It wants to be remembered.
Hmmm! Even though I was always a bit of an introvert and shy...the ego part of me was always pushing me to "stand out" in the things I did and the roles I played. As a teacher, a speaker, a parent, in social groups etc...I wanted to be seen...heard...noticed. So when I look at what "me" says I created...and see how mediocre it is, I feel deflated somewhat. When my photos are mediocre or less than mediocre I feel it in my gut. When I don't get publication or external validation...I feel deflated. It leads me to see how mediocre and ordinary the poetry is, the writing is...and therefore, I tell myself, I am. Was my life mediocre and ordinary?
My life has such a story to it...it really does...a story that others could learn from. I want to put that together into something I can share, in fear that if I don't this suffering and learning I lived will have so little meaning, that it will do so little good. My mind works in a unique and fascinating way taking me to higher understanding...I fear if I do not share it...this thing my mind does/all minds do will go unnoticed and will therefore be meaningless. There is something in me that pushes words gently and sometimes not so gently through me...and if no one sees these words because they are judged as "mediocre" and "ordinary" , will they and this amazing creative breath that blows through me be meaningless too?
I guess I am determining the meaningfulness of something by how it is "received by others", not on the fact that it simply is what it is and the Self in me recognizes the perfection of that isness. In which case ordinary is extraordinary. I don't know. I once heard from a Buddhist teacher that being ordinary is the highest achievement in Buddhism. Maybe I have achieved more than I thought I did.
All is well.
Saturday, August 15, 2020
Before Cell Phones
What People did before cell phones...Before any phones...
King's Landing, New Brunswick
Choosing to View Rightly
The Way is not in the sky, the Way is in the heart.
The Buddha
Another Dream/Desire Arising
Was away, as the pics will soon reflect, observing and experiencing another part of the external world...another part of this amazing and beautiful province I was born and raised in. I even thought for a moment ...maybe I will start a travel blog...maybe my source of external income (that this human part of me is in desperate need of now being that what I worked so hard to create as a source of income to get me through the next couple of years ...a small rental space downstairs and a yoga studio ...has been reduced to income- less ventures because of COVID ), will be in the writing of a travel blog. I could do three things I love to do...take pics and write and travel at the same time. I could still write about the things that really interested me...my three go to topics/ themes ...while I made money doing the travel blog . The author of E2 and E3 started out as a travel writer. Why can't I? D. and I even got a little excited about the prospect ...Wouldn't that be cool? It is just nice to think about it...without getting attached to any outcomes.
Accepting What Is
Right now in this moment, however, I am not a travel blogger/writer. I am a woman living on a very fixed pension, seeking a second source of income...and...being perfectly okay with it all. At this point...despite the losses, D., I and the adult children who are once again dependent on me because of circumstances are all getting by and we are living with more comfort than many on this planet have at the moment. I have little regret when I get beyond ego whining which I am able to do more and more. My present life is not as exciting as the one the dream of being a travel writer offers me in a future that may never come but it is good just the same. So that actually makes me grateful for everything that has transpired to get me to this point. I am accepting of what is...and that is a beautiful place to be.
Suffering and Right View
Anyway...I digress. As part of my major writing focus these days...Suffering as a result of how we use our minds...I happened upon another dharma talk on the Noble Eightfold Path. (It truly is amazing how Buddhist teachings hold so much practical wisdom in them that could benefit all of us today regardless of what religion or philosophies we cling to. It is such a simple, universal approach to dealing with suffering ...so real and useful.) This video was on the first step on the eightfold path..."Right View" . Right view, from Pali, can be translated as "Clear, complete vision or seeing". We can learn to see clearly and completely...what suffering is and how to transform it.
Wrong View?
Suffering is basically a result of being stuck in "wrong view" or an "unhelpful state of mind" . Most of us do not see things clearly or completely. We live in a state of wrong view but do what we can to protect our views and ideas without stopping to consider the "wrongness" or the "unhelpfulness" of them in helping to make our lives fulfilling and whole. We then speak, act, think, intend, and live according to these views. Action originates in the mind. If the mind is not perceiving clearly...That is suffering.
The Choice
What we forget is that we have a choice. We can perceive differently! We can choose to adopt a skilful, and helpful view that will take us from suffering rather than into it. We can than choose helpful, skilful actions. But it all starts in the mind. Perceiving and believing starts in the mind; action starts in the mind; and therefore suffering starts in the mind. Thus being said...the way through suffering is through the mind and how we choose to see.
Whether we know it...what we really, really want from all we seek, is peace, Love, connection with all we are. This comes from accepting what is...not pushing away or clinging. It comes from seeing clearly. Compassion, kindness, Love, wisdom...are the things that bring joy. Self protection, greed, selfishness, over attachment and competition are the things that take us away from joy and into more suffering.
How are you acting, speaking and thinking right now?
So know first how you are acting. What actions are you involved in right now and are they helpful or unhelpful; wholesome or unwholesome? Do they lead you away from suffering or into it? Then ask yourself what type of speech are you using. Is it wholesome or unwholesome? Helpful to you or others or unhelpful? Is it leading you or others toward suffering or away? Finally ask yourself what type of thinking and believing are you taking part in. Is it wholesome or unwholesome? Helpful or unhelpful to you or others? Does it lead you into suffering or away? Make the choice for not suffering!
Choosing the "Wholesome" over the "Unwholesome"
According to Buddhist teachings we can choose the healthier and more wholesome approach to living over the unwholesome approach that will lead to more suffering. With our bodies, we can choose to protect all life (wholesome) or to destroy any life. (unwholesome). We can choose generosity instead of taking what is not ours. We can choose to diligently guard what we allow into our senses over loosely letting anything, even the unhealthy in. With our words , we can choose truthful speech over false speech; we can choose to build people up or tear them down; to be gentle and kind or to speak harshly; and to talk about what is truly meaningful ( dharma) or about what is meaningless (idle chit chat) . With our minds we can choose to be satisfied with what is rather than endlessly seeking more, envying or clinging. We can fill our minds with loving kindness for self and others or ill will. Finally we can chose to view rightly or wrongly. The choice is ours!
Hmmm! So, so much wisdom in Buddhist teaching that could make all of our lives easier and the world a better place.
All is well
Plum village (July 2020 ) The Noble Eightfold Path #1: The Practice of Right View/Dharma Talk by Br. Phap Hai. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBv0pWcDYug
The Buddha
Another Dream/Desire Arising
Was away, as the pics will soon reflect, observing and experiencing another part of the external world...another part of this amazing and beautiful province I was born and raised in. I even thought for a moment ...maybe I will start a travel blog...maybe my source of external income (that this human part of me is in desperate need of now being that what I worked so hard to create as a source of income to get me through the next couple of years ...a small rental space downstairs and a yoga studio ...has been reduced to income- less ventures because of COVID ), will be in the writing of a travel blog. I could do three things I love to do...take pics and write and travel at the same time. I could still write about the things that really interested me...my three go to topics/ themes ...while I made money doing the travel blog . The author of E2 and E3 started out as a travel writer. Why can't I? D. and I even got a little excited about the prospect ...Wouldn't that be cool? It is just nice to think about it...without getting attached to any outcomes.
Accepting What Is
Right now in this moment, however, I am not a travel blogger/writer. I am a woman living on a very fixed pension, seeking a second source of income...and...being perfectly okay with it all. At this point...despite the losses, D., I and the adult children who are once again dependent on me because of circumstances are all getting by and we are living with more comfort than many on this planet have at the moment. I have little regret when I get beyond ego whining which I am able to do more and more. My present life is not as exciting as the one the dream of being a travel writer offers me in a future that may never come but it is good just the same. So that actually makes me grateful for everything that has transpired to get me to this point. I am accepting of what is...and that is a beautiful place to be.
Suffering and Right View
Anyway...I digress. As part of my major writing focus these days...Suffering as a result of how we use our minds...I happened upon another dharma talk on the Noble Eightfold Path. (It truly is amazing how Buddhist teachings hold so much practical wisdom in them that could benefit all of us today regardless of what religion or philosophies we cling to. It is such a simple, universal approach to dealing with suffering ...so real and useful.) This video was on the first step on the eightfold path..."Right View" . Right view, from Pali, can be translated as "Clear, complete vision or seeing". We can learn to see clearly and completely...what suffering is and how to transform it.
Wrong View?
Suffering is basically a result of being stuck in "wrong view" or an "unhelpful state of mind" . Most of us do not see things clearly or completely. We live in a state of wrong view but do what we can to protect our views and ideas without stopping to consider the "wrongness" or the "unhelpfulness" of them in helping to make our lives fulfilling and whole. We then speak, act, think, intend, and live according to these views. Action originates in the mind. If the mind is not perceiving clearly...That is suffering.
The Choice
What we forget is that we have a choice. We can perceive differently! We can choose to adopt a skilful, and helpful view that will take us from suffering rather than into it. We can than choose helpful, skilful actions. But it all starts in the mind. Perceiving and believing starts in the mind; action starts in the mind; and therefore suffering starts in the mind. Thus being said...the way through suffering is through the mind and how we choose to see.
Whether we know it...what we really, really want from all we seek, is peace, Love, connection with all we are. This comes from accepting what is...not pushing away or clinging. It comes from seeing clearly. Compassion, kindness, Love, wisdom...are the things that bring joy. Self protection, greed, selfishness, over attachment and competition are the things that take us away from joy and into more suffering.
How are you acting, speaking and thinking right now?
So know first how you are acting. What actions are you involved in right now and are they helpful or unhelpful; wholesome or unwholesome? Do they lead you away from suffering or into it? Then ask yourself what type of speech are you using. Is it wholesome or unwholesome? Helpful to you or others or unhelpful? Is it leading you or others toward suffering or away? Finally ask yourself what type of thinking and believing are you taking part in. Is it wholesome or unwholesome? Helpful or unhelpful to you or others? Does it lead you into suffering or away? Make the choice for not suffering!
Choosing the "Wholesome" over the "Unwholesome"
According to Buddhist teachings we can choose the healthier and more wholesome approach to living over the unwholesome approach that will lead to more suffering. With our bodies, we can choose to protect all life (wholesome) or to destroy any life. (unwholesome). We can choose generosity instead of taking what is not ours. We can choose to diligently guard what we allow into our senses over loosely letting anything, even the unhealthy in. With our words , we can choose truthful speech over false speech; we can choose to build people up or tear them down; to be gentle and kind or to speak harshly; and to talk about what is truly meaningful ( dharma) or about what is meaningless (idle chit chat) . With our minds we can choose to be satisfied with what is rather than endlessly seeking more, envying or clinging. We can fill our minds with loving kindness for self and others or ill will. Finally we can chose to view rightly or wrongly. The choice is ours!
Hmmm! So, so much wisdom in Buddhist teaching that could make all of our lives easier and the world a better place.
All is well
Plum village (July 2020 ) The Noble Eightfold Path #1: The Practice of Right View/Dharma Talk by Br. Phap Hai. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBv0pWcDYug
Friday, August 14, 2020
Write what you want to know?
Write what you know.
-Mark Twain
I often wonder if Twain should have said: write what you want to know. The more I do this awakening thing, the less I realize I know but the more I want to...not conceptually ...but "really".
I think of this quote I heard today (somewhat paraphrased) :
Wisdom cannot be gained by accumulating heaps of knowledge but by looking clearly and deeply at what is.
Br Phap Hai (accents should be applied :( ) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBv0pWcDYug
When I write I seek wisdom. I go inward to my present moment experience and look at that.
What Writers write About
I had the opportunity to speak to a "real" writer, the other day...someone who has established himself as a national icon...someone I greatly admire and respect for his ability as a writer and his humility as a human being. He "sees" the human experience in a way so few do. For the longest time I stood back and avoided him basically because I never wanted him to find out I wrote because what I did with words felt so "puny" in comparison to what he did. How could I call myself a writer in his presence? (I do not have a tendency to call myself a writer anyway...I usually just say "I write a bit.")
Well during a conversation D. brought up that I write and praised me up and down. I thought I would turn permanently purple with embarrassment but after a discussion and a kind offer to view one of my manuscripts to see if he could help me out...this established, acclaimed and prolific writer offered some great insights into the writing experience. He began by quoting something relevant from Othello ( one of the few Shakespeare plays I have never read...and I read and studied a lot in my day...and to which I just nodded my head like a plastic bobble head "pretending" that I did lol). Then he went on to say that each writer will consistently write about three major things. These things/themes will appear in all their writing regardless if it is fiction, non fiction or poetry.
Writing About What We Know
That struck me and got me thinking. What three things do I write about consistently? Can you guess lol?
Hmmm! This is what I tend to write about in these blog entries, in my articles, my books and my poetry. I could sit here and say I am going to write about the feeding habits of the guinea pig but somehow...it would come back to one of these three subjects/themes lol . It is like I am programmed to write about these things because they are things I passionately want to learn more about. I definitely do not know everything there is to know about them but I am writing so I can.
Anyway...thought that was interesting.
Will I allow him to see my manuscript? My first reaction was definitely not...I would hate to burden him with yet another manuscript to read when he is probably asked to read, critique and endorse so many. Nor do I think I could handle the thought of him viewing anything I have done so far...have to get a bit better first :) . If the novel I am working on now is near perfection after the third or forth or 1104th draft...maybe then lol? It just gives me hope knowing there is someone out there that is willing to help should I be brave enough to accept it.
All is well.
-Mark Twain
I often wonder if Twain should have said: write what you want to know. The more I do this awakening thing, the less I realize I know but the more I want to...not conceptually ...but "really".
I think of this quote I heard today (somewhat paraphrased) :
Wisdom cannot be gained by accumulating heaps of knowledge but by looking clearly and deeply at what is.
Br Phap Hai (accents should be applied :( ) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBv0pWcDYug
When I write I seek wisdom. I go inward to my present moment experience and look at that.
What Writers write About
I had the opportunity to speak to a "real" writer, the other day...someone who has established himself as a national icon...someone I greatly admire and respect for his ability as a writer and his humility as a human being. He "sees" the human experience in a way so few do. For the longest time I stood back and avoided him basically because I never wanted him to find out I wrote because what I did with words felt so "puny" in comparison to what he did. How could I call myself a writer in his presence? (I do not have a tendency to call myself a writer anyway...I usually just say "I write a bit.")
Well during a conversation D. brought up that I write and praised me up and down. I thought I would turn permanently purple with embarrassment but after a discussion and a kind offer to view one of my manuscripts to see if he could help me out...this established, acclaimed and prolific writer offered some great insights into the writing experience. He began by quoting something relevant from Othello ( one of the few Shakespeare plays I have never read...and I read and studied a lot in my day...and to which I just nodded my head like a plastic bobble head "pretending" that I did lol). Then he went on to say that each writer will consistently write about three major things. These things/themes will appear in all their writing regardless if it is fiction, non fiction or poetry.
Writing About What We Know
That struck me and got me thinking. What three things do I write about consistently? Can you guess lol?
- the human experience of suffering-the mind?
- waking up to what is?
- creativity...writing/photography/poetry?
Hmmm! This is what I tend to write about in these blog entries, in my articles, my books and my poetry. I could sit here and say I am going to write about the feeding habits of the guinea pig but somehow...it would come back to one of these three subjects/themes lol . It is like I am programmed to write about these things because they are things I passionately want to learn more about. I definitely do not know everything there is to know about them but I am writing so I can.
Anyway...thought that was interesting.
Will I allow him to see my manuscript? My first reaction was definitely not...I would hate to burden him with yet another manuscript to read when he is probably asked to read, critique and endorse so many. Nor do I think I could handle the thought of him viewing anything I have done so far...have to get a bit better first :) . If the novel I am working on now is near perfection after the third or forth or 1104th draft...maybe then lol? It just gives me hope knowing there is someone out there that is willing to help should I be brave enough to accept it.
All is well.
Sunday, August 9, 2020
The Coming and Going of All
We sense that there is some sort of spirit that loves
birds, and animals and the ants-
perhaps the same one that gave a radiance to you in
your mother's womb...
Kabir
It is so beautiful outside and I feel so very, very blessed. Not just because of the weather but because of everything!!! I just have this appreciation , right now( not saying I will have this appreciation beyond this moment...lol...but for now...) for absolutely everything Life hands me. I have a feeling of trust ( confidence) and peace. So grateful for that.
The weekend did not start out so well. I was worried about loved ones, as you know, even though I know rationally how senseless and "strangling" worry is. I still felt that darkness clinging to me and my own body was heavy and listless with an overstressed ticker; my mind dark and heavy with an "over stressed" psyche. Still, D. and I were planning a night away on Friday and a trip to "Kings Landing" yesterday . We got off late for one reason or another and half way there we get a call of a furry tragedy at home.
Our dogs got into the room where the Guinea pigs were running about in their pen. Our Jack Russell mix is a true hunter and the three dogs who have been together for over 7 years have formed a true canine pack. Guinea pigs tend to be naturally tremely neurotic creatures with cortisol levels through the roof. These two were even more neurotic than most making them good candidates to die from a stress induced heart attack. Being chased around a room by a dog in hunting mode would basically be all it would take. That is how it appeared to be for them. I believe they literally died of fright.
The owner of the guinea pigs was someone I was worried about . She at the point I found out, was away from home and did not know of the incident. We turned around to be there for her when she found out. It was sad ...it really was ...(I was getting attached to the little guys) and I felt so guilty thinking I was some how responsible for what the dogs did and for not ensuring the door was closed tightly behind me.
And you know when you have a lot of "negative" on your plate or in your mind...and another negative thing lands on it ...it is like "See! Told you! Something or someone is punishing me." Then you look about and wonder what is going to happen next. Such an automatic reflex...this way of "perceiving". I want to change that. I want to have a stable, caring and peaceful heart amidst it all.
Anyway...we did get out yesterday to Kings Landing...just made it a day trip and it was lovely. Will share some pics once I get them downloaded from Raw.
It was all so lovely. Then we came home and had a little service for the little guys burying them in an area of the yard any rodent would like to be buried in. My daughter grieved for sure but she had also seen the natural flow of life, the coming and the going, the turning and the changing in it. She felt supported and cared for in her grief and she allowed herself to open up to do so. (Pet grief is a beautiful opportunity to express all grief we store inside).
The dogs are now in an offender rehabilitation program and seem to be doing well.
All is well!
birds, and animals and the ants-
perhaps the same one that gave a radiance to you in
your mother's womb...
Kabir
It is so beautiful outside and I feel so very, very blessed. Not just because of the weather but because of everything!!! I just have this appreciation , right now( not saying I will have this appreciation beyond this moment...lol...but for now...) for absolutely everything Life hands me. I have a feeling of trust ( confidence) and peace. So grateful for that.
The weekend did not start out so well. I was worried about loved ones, as you know, even though I know rationally how senseless and "strangling" worry is. I still felt that darkness clinging to me and my own body was heavy and listless with an overstressed ticker; my mind dark and heavy with an "over stressed" psyche. Still, D. and I were planning a night away on Friday and a trip to "Kings Landing" yesterday . We got off late for one reason or another and half way there we get a call of a furry tragedy at home.
Our dogs got into the room where the Guinea pigs were running about in their pen. Our Jack Russell mix is a true hunter and the three dogs who have been together for over 7 years have formed a true canine pack. Guinea pigs tend to be naturally tremely neurotic creatures with cortisol levels through the roof. These two were even more neurotic than most making them good candidates to die from a stress induced heart attack. Being chased around a room by a dog in hunting mode would basically be all it would take. That is how it appeared to be for them. I believe they literally died of fright.
The owner of the guinea pigs was someone I was worried about . She at the point I found out, was away from home and did not know of the incident. We turned around to be there for her when she found out. It was sad ...it really was ...(I was getting attached to the little guys) and I felt so guilty thinking I was some how responsible for what the dogs did and for not ensuring the door was closed tightly behind me.
And you know when you have a lot of "negative" on your plate or in your mind...and another negative thing lands on it ...it is like "See! Told you! Something or someone is punishing me." Then you look about and wonder what is going to happen next. Such an automatic reflex...this way of "perceiving". I want to change that. I want to have a stable, caring and peaceful heart amidst it all.
Anyway...we did get out yesterday to Kings Landing...just made it a day trip and it was lovely. Will share some pics once I get them downloaded from Raw.
It was all so lovely. Then we came home and had a little service for the little guys burying them in an area of the yard any rodent would like to be buried in. My daughter grieved for sure but she had also seen the natural flow of life, the coming and the going, the turning and the changing in it. She felt supported and cared for in her grief and she allowed herself to open up to do so. (Pet grief is a beautiful opportunity to express all grief we store inside).
The dogs are now in an offender rehabilitation program and seem to be doing well.
All is well!
Friday, August 7, 2020
May you live with a caring and peaceful heart
For all those who are suffering:
May you see the rising and passing of all things in life with equanimity and balance.
May you be steady and balanced amidst it all.
May you live with a caring and peaceful heart.
From Jack Kornfield- Meditation on Equanimity https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIa81_406gA
All is well!
More of Merton's Wisdom on Writing
If you write for God you will reach many men and bring them joy. If you write for men-you may make some money and you may give someone a little joy and you may make some noise in the world, for a little while. If you write for yourself, you can read what you have written and after ten minutes you will be so disgusted that you will wish that you were dead.
Thomas Merton
I know this idea of "rejection" of my writing is not as it feels lol. "I" was not rejected...what came through me was simply not accepted for publication. There were other entries whose words were more suitable, better put together and chosen by humans in a position to judge what they thought was good or not so good. That is perfectly okay. Besides this little sting pales in comparison to what I am feeling from the loved ones I spoke about the other day. This is "puny" pain and egoic pain.
I was doing , as yesterday's quote reminds us not to do. I was focusing on the hope of better results. I was hoping these poems would get published because it was "my" first real exposure as a so called "poet" and I thought it would give "me" a new identity that would strengthen "my ego".
I mean there was a higher reason for hoping as well...I do believe there is wisdom in these words that come through me, even if there may not be enough skill, poetic grace and beauty lol. There is wisdom I would like to share. I know this wisdom doesn't come from my puny little understanding of things but something greater...that higher understanding that connects us all.
Still ego did step in and say, "Well maybe I can call these poems "mine" and if they are good they will get published and I will be known as a poet so I can redeem myself from this now career-less, title-less , and somewhat doing-less state I find myself in. At least if I will be doing something worthwhile if I say I write 'read"poetry...I will be something in society's eyes."
Sigh! Despite all the work I do to dismantle ego, I still have this desire to appear a certain way. Habit mind is still around. :)
I renew my effort to realize the higher purpose of my writing...not the ego purpose. I choose to write for God!
It is all good. It really, really is. The arrow is removed and the little wound is healing beautifully!
Thomas Merton
I know this idea of "rejection" of my writing is not as it feels lol. "I" was not rejected...what came through me was simply not accepted for publication. There were other entries whose words were more suitable, better put together and chosen by humans in a position to judge what they thought was good or not so good. That is perfectly okay. Besides this little sting pales in comparison to what I am feeling from the loved ones I spoke about the other day. This is "puny" pain and egoic pain.
I was doing , as yesterday's quote reminds us not to do. I was focusing on the hope of better results. I was hoping these poems would get published because it was "my" first real exposure as a so called "poet" and I thought it would give "me" a new identity that would strengthen "my ego".
I mean there was a higher reason for hoping as well...I do believe there is wisdom in these words that come through me, even if there may not be enough skill, poetic grace and beauty lol. There is wisdom I would like to share. I know this wisdom doesn't come from my puny little understanding of things but something greater...that higher understanding that connects us all.
Still ego did step in and say, "Well maybe I can call these poems "mine" and if they are good they will get published and I will be known as a poet so I can redeem myself from this now career-less, title-less , and somewhat doing-less state I find myself in. At least if I will be doing something worthwhile if I say I write 'read"poetry...I will be something in society's eyes."
Sigh! Despite all the work I do to dismantle ego, I still have this desire to appear a certain way. Habit mind is still around. :)
I renew my effort to realize the higher purpose of my writing...not the ego purpose. I choose to write for God!
It is all good. It really, really is. The arrow is removed and the little wound is healing beautifully!
Thursday, August 6, 2020
Writing Rejection
Do not depend on the hope of results . You may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no results at all, if not perhaps results opposite to what you expect. As you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself.
Thomas Merton
These words help me to see clearly and to soothe the sting of recent writing rejection.
all is well!
What would Love have me do?
Not everything that is faced can be changed but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
James Baldwin (Writer and American civil rights activist)
Yep! Stole another quote and this one comes at an appropriate time from a video that "showed up" for me to watch. (Jack Kornfield/see below) . It really does feel as if things are just "showing up" exactly when I need them or at least when I am "thinking" about them. I must revisit Andersen's theory of how the mind controls our outward experiences.
Darkness All Around?
Anyway, last evening I went to bed in a dark mood. I had the accumulated and compounded experience yesterday of witnessing and absorbing the suffering of three of my children and my step son ...and each of their individual experience's of suffering could be classified as real and deep. I witnessed (and absorbed) their pain and their mental and behavioural choices. That was like witnessing them being pierced in the same tender spots with a second arrow that they are holding in their own hands. I ask them to at least remove the second arrow and to stop adding to their own pain but they don't. They say they can't. Habit mind has taken over. Watching them walk around with these painful bloody arrows in them is so difficult.
" What do I do?" Keeps nagging at me as I watch and absorb this yucky, yucky pain.
Wanting to Flea ('flee' lol...I don't want fleas in my house)
I want to close my eyes and walk away. Say..."You know...I did all I could...they are adults now...this is their journey." It would be so easy to walk away from their suffering...all the suffering I see. Images of the Beirut explosion, the violence and prejudice minority groups and those who society has deemed as "different" are experiencing , the desperate plight of our youth who seem to be plagued with depression and anxiety like I never witnessed before in my five decades of living, the slow destruction of this amazing planet and what COVID seems to be doing to so many out there... I just want to close my eyes, put my hands over my ears and sing "La!la!la!la!" to myself so I don't hear the cries needing to be heard.
"How Have I failed You?"
Because really...what can "I do" ? What can I, in this little form, do to "fix" all this pain? I feel so helpless. Sometimes I even feel responsible for it...especially for my children's suffering and even for all others "in the village" that I may have somehow failed. I find myself also asking, "How have I failed you? What have I done that I shouldn't have done? What didn't I do that I should have? Was I so absorbed in my own personal sense of suffering, my "me-ness" that I wasn't there enough for you?" Then the guilt and shame adds to the pain of helplessly witnessing and absorbing others' pain. It gets dark fast.
"Is This Some Hellish Karma?"
I find myself looking at others, at humanity at large and it seems that what I see is dark and sad. I also got news that some of the poetry I bravely submitted , which I was starting to hope was a new purpose for me, a way to teach or do something , add something to the world that helps, was rejected. It felt like my writing as a whole was being rejected. I looked about at where I was with my finances, no career ( looked like writing wasn't go to save me lol), my new anticipated source of income failing me because of circumstances, my body acting up and I was overwhelmed. I actually found myself ,for a moment last night, wondering if I was living in some hellish version of karma. I actually thought that!
Hell to me is not so much my own puny suffering but watching suffering in others and not being able to do anything about it...worse...somehow being responsible for it. Have I done something so terrible in another life that this is my karma...to watch those I love, those I know, those I don't "know' in the conceptual sense but who I know in a deeper sense are as much a part of me as the nose on my face...suffer?
Well that was how I went to bed last night...pretty defeated, pretty dark. But I found myself asking...before I closed my eyes... "God, what would you have me do with all this?" Then when I get up after a pretty restless sleep and go to listen to my morning video...the first one that shows up is Jack Kornfield's The Peaceful Heart. The ending question asked in that beautiful little teaching was What would Love have me do?
We Are Loving Awareness
In this video we are asked to remember one very important thing: We are Loving Awareness. We do not just express it or act it out...we are it! The very consciousness which is everything has been born into these seemingly separate forms we inhabit and walk around in. This consciousness is Loving awareness. So as Loving Awareness we observe suffering in loving awareness. We know the first noble truth that, yes suffering exists and the second, there is a cause for it. But we also know the third and forth. There is also peace and happiness and a way through this suffering to that peace and happiness...to remembering who we really are.
Facing and Changing What I Can
I do not know how to "fix" what my children and the rest of humanity is suffering from. But I know that change starts with me...finding the peace of acceptance of what is within myself. Then I can look out at the suffering around me with a big and open heart, not one that is closed. When I breathe that suffering in as Loving Awareness, it doesn't have to clog me up and make me dark and small like it did last night. I have the option of breathing it out into something much, much greater than me. I am as Tara Brach teaches, just a filter for Love to breathe in and out of. Hmmm! God, I will do the work of being deeply present but you carry this...that will be my new mantra.
There is another quote I am going to steal that fits perfectly with my own puny experience:
Warriors of the human spirit are awake human beings who have chosen not to flea. They abide. They serve as beacons of an ancient story that tells of the goodness and generosity and creativity of humanity. You can identify them by their cheerfulness. You will know them by their compassion. When asked how they do it, they will tell you about discipline, dedication and the necessity of community.
-Margaret Wheatley (https://margaretwheatley.com/2019-warriors-for-the-human-spirit-training/)
I don't know about you but I want to be a warrior of the human spirit. I have a lot of training to do but I will get there. I will do my best not to flea when I see suffering in myself and others...and instead I will ask: What would Love have me do?
Hmmm! All is well.
Tara Brach ( July 30, 2020)Your Awake Heart is Calling You [Redux] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGE68zj_690
Jack Kornfield (July 31, 2020 ) The Peaceful Heart . https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNZyW7_bLLU
James Baldwin (Writer and American civil rights activist)
Yep! Stole another quote and this one comes at an appropriate time from a video that "showed up" for me to watch. (Jack Kornfield/see below) . It really does feel as if things are just "showing up" exactly when I need them or at least when I am "thinking" about them. I must revisit Andersen's theory of how the mind controls our outward experiences.
Darkness All Around?
Anyway, last evening I went to bed in a dark mood. I had the accumulated and compounded experience yesterday of witnessing and absorbing the suffering of three of my children and my step son ...and each of their individual experience's of suffering could be classified as real and deep. I witnessed (and absorbed) their pain and their mental and behavioural choices. That was like witnessing them being pierced in the same tender spots with a second arrow that they are holding in their own hands. I ask them to at least remove the second arrow and to stop adding to their own pain but they don't. They say they can't. Habit mind has taken over. Watching them walk around with these painful bloody arrows in them is so difficult.
" What do I do?" Keeps nagging at me as I watch and absorb this yucky, yucky pain.
Wanting to Flea ('flee' lol...I don't want fleas in my house)
I want to close my eyes and walk away. Say..."You know...I did all I could...they are adults now...this is their journey." It would be so easy to walk away from their suffering...all the suffering I see. Images of the Beirut explosion, the violence and prejudice minority groups and those who society has deemed as "different" are experiencing , the desperate plight of our youth who seem to be plagued with depression and anxiety like I never witnessed before in my five decades of living, the slow destruction of this amazing planet and what COVID seems to be doing to so many out there... I just want to close my eyes, put my hands over my ears and sing "La!la!la!la!" to myself so I don't hear the cries needing to be heard.
"How Have I failed You?"
Because really...what can "I do" ? What can I, in this little form, do to "fix" all this pain? I feel so helpless. Sometimes I even feel responsible for it...especially for my children's suffering and even for all others "in the village" that I may have somehow failed. I find myself also asking, "How have I failed you? What have I done that I shouldn't have done? What didn't I do that I should have? Was I so absorbed in my own personal sense of suffering, my "me-ness" that I wasn't there enough for you?" Then the guilt and shame adds to the pain of helplessly witnessing and absorbing others' pain. It gets dark fast.
"Is This Some Hellish Karma?"
I find myself looking at others, at humanity at large and it seems that what I see is dark and sad. I also got news that some of the poetry I bravely submitted , which I was starting to hope was a new purpose for me, a way to teach or do something , add something to the world that helps, was rejected. It felt like my writing as a whole was being rejected. I looked about at where I was with my finances, no career ( looked like writing wasn't go to save me lol), my new anticipated source of income failing me because of circumstances, my body acting up and I was overwhelmed. I actually found myself ,for a moment last night, wondering if I was living in some hellish version of karma. I actually thought that!
Hell to me is not so much my own puny suffering but watching suffering in others and not being able to do anything about it...worse...somehow being responsible for it. Have I done something so terrible in another life that this is my karma...to watch those I love, those I know, those I don't "know' in the conceptual sense but who I know in a deeper sense are as much a part of me as the nose on my face...suffer?
Well that was how I went to bed last night...pretty defeated, pretty dark. But I found myself asking...before I closed my eyes... "God, what would you have me do with all this?" Then when I get up after a pretty restless sleep and go to listen to my morning video...the first one that shows up is Jack Kornfield's The Peaceful Heart. The ending question asked in that beautiful little teaching was What would Love have me do?
We Are Loving Awareness
In this video we are asked to remember one very important thing: We are Loving Awareness. We do not just express it or act it out...we are it! The very consciousness which is everything has been born into these seemingly separate forms we inhabit and walk around in. This consciousness is Loving awareness. So as Loving Awareness we observe suffering in loving awareness. We know the first noble truth that, yes suffering exists and the second, there is a cause for it. But we also know the third and forth. There is also peace and happiness and a way through this suffering to that peace and happiness...to remembering who we really are.
Facing and Changing What I Can
I do not know how to "fix" what my children and the rest of humanity is suffering from. But I know that change starts with me...finding the peace of acceptance of what is within myself. Then I can look out at the suffering around me with a big and open heart, not one that is closed. When I breathe that suffering in as Loving Awareness, it doesn't have to clog me up and make me dark and small like it did last night. I have the option of breathing it out into something much, much greater than me. I am as Tara Brach teaches, just a filter for Love to breathe in and out of. Hmmm! God, I will do the work of being deeply present but you carry this...that will be my new mantra.
There is another quote I am going to steal that fits perfectly with my own puny experience:
Warriors of the human spirit are awake human beings who have chosen not to flea. They abide. They serve as beacons of an ancient story that tells of the goodness and generosity and creativity of humanity. You can identify them by their cheerfulness. You will know them by their compassion. When asked how they do it, they will tell you about discipline, dedication and the necessity of community.
-Margaret Wheatley (https://margaretwheatley.com/2019-warriors-for-the-human-spirit-training/)
I don't know about you but I want to be a warrior of the human spirit. I have a lot of training to do but I will get there. I will do my best not to flea when I see suffering in myself and others...and instead I will ask: What would Love have me do?
Hmmm! All is well.
Tara Brach ( July 30, 2020)Your Awake Heart is Calling You [Redux] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGE68zj_690
Jack Kornfield (July 31, 2020 ) The Peaceful Heart . https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNZyW7_bLLU
Wednesday, August 5, 2020
Was going to write but have a bit of chest pain. (Man...I realize how "complainy", "whiny" and "body focused" I must sound lol.) I talk openly about my body sensations here. It helps that I am a Yoga teacher constantly encouraging a connection between mind and body; a listening to the body; a living from inside the body, out instead of vice versa.
So I will admit to feeling chest pain. I am aware of it. I accept it and allow it. I listen to it and I also know what I can "do" about it.
All good. I will write soon.
I am also working on a book proposal and that is probably what is giving me chest pain lol. Yuck! Will be back.
All is well!
Tuesday, August 4, 2020
On Brokenness and Separateness
Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things break. And all things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world waits in darkness for the light that is you.
L.R.. Knost (Children Rights Advocate and Director of family consulting group, Little Hearts/Gentle Parenting Resources)
I stole another quote from Tara Brach today. My bad. In my own defense , when I hear a quote I like from someone else, I will look it up and try to find it in a couple of other resources so I see the universal nature of it. Tara Brach opened my ears to these words, and reflecting on them opened my heart. I owe that to her.
Hmmm! So what did I learn from these words and the other great insights Tara Brach shared in her video , Your Awakening Heart Is calling You? Maybe this:
Einstein Said
Einstein said it is an optical illusion...
your separateness,
and therefore your separate, lonely brokenness.
Though it seems you are
constricted and small,
so unlike the others,
as you hide out in dark corners,
clinging to shattered pieces
of who you thought you were,
protecting tender flesh from the bullies,
you are so sure are lurking about
waiting to taunt, tease and attack
what is left of you....
it isn't real.
Einstein said you are a part of something greater...
than this small curled up
"me" you identify as,
that flinches in fear with any movement of shadow,
retreating deeper into the dark depth
of your established corner
and that trembles with the vibrations of unfamiliar sounds
while fisted knuckles holding onto broken remnants
go white with desperation...
You are not alone in your vulnerability.
Einstein said you must free yourself...
by stepping bravely out of your corner
even though you quake and shiver
without the protective warmth and familiarity of it
and slowly open your eyes
beyond the darkness and the hurt
to what really surrounds you.
Deeply breathe it in
to every cell
and into each broken piece
you hide behind.
Inhale the living creatures,
the whole of nature,
all its beauty,
and all its pain ...
until it is all One infinite field within you.
Then breathe it out
into the endless space
that holds us all.
Einstein said you must realize why you are here ...
and know that you exist,
not for some puny individual purpose,
but for all the others
hiding in their corners,
holding onto their brokenness,
afraid of the shadow you cast over them.
Recognize the faint whisper of longing
that calls to you from the depths
of your pain, their pain,
and begin your walk towards the other corners,
shining your light softly into them
with your gentle request,
"Teach me how to be kind
and to know what it is like to be you."
Einstein said that it is an optical illusion...
their separateness
and therefore their separate lonely brokenness.
Help them to see...it isn't real.
Mend yourself...
and the world with your willingness to Love.
Of course I didn't get all the Einstein quotes from the video...only the one "the optical illusion of our separateness" which kind of became the poem and thus led to me going to Brainy quote to find quotes that would relate to what Tara Brach taught. Interesting how it turned out lol.
Anyway, it is all good.
Tara Brach ( July, 2020) Your Awake Heart is Calling you (Redux) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGE68zj_690
Albert Einstein Quotes from Brainy Quote https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/albert-einstein-quotes_
L.R.. Knost (Children Rights Advocate and Director of family consulting group, Little Hearts/Gentle Parenting Resources)
I stole another quote from Tara Brach today. My bad. In my own defense , when I hear a quote I like from someone else, I will look it up and try to find it in a couple of other resources so I see the universal nature of it. Tara Brach opened my ears to these words, and reflecting on them opened my heart. I owe that to her.
Hmmm! So what did I learn from these words and the other great insights Tara Brach shared in her video , Your Awakening Heart Is calling You? Maybe this:
Einstein Said
Einstein said it is an optical illusion...
your separateness,
and therefore your separate, lonely brokenness.
Though it seems you are
constricted and small,
so unlike the others,
as you hide out in dark corners,
clinging to shattered pieces
of who you thought you were,
protecting tender flesh from the bullies,
you are so sure are lurking about
waiting to taunt, tease and attack
what is left of you....
it isn't real.
Einstein said you are a part of something greater...
than this small curled up
"me" you identify as,
that flinches in fear with any movement of shadow,
retreating deeper into the dark depth
of your established corner
and that trembles with the vibrations of unfamiliar sounds
while fisted knuckles holding onto broken remnants
go white with desperation...
You are not alone in your vulnerability.
Einstein said you must free yourself...
by stepping bravely out of your corner
even though you quake and shiver
without the protective warmth and familiarity of it
and slowly open your eyes
beyond the darkness and the hurt
to what really surrounds you.
Deeply breathe it in
to every cell
and into each broken piece
you hide behind.
Inhale the living creatures,
the whole of nature,
all its beauty,
and all its pain ...
until it is all One infinite field within you.
Then breathe it out
into the endless space
that holds us all.
Einstein said you must realize why you are here ...
and know that you exist,
not for some puny individual purpose,
but for all the others
hiding in their corners,
holding onto their brokenness,
afraid of the shadow you cast over them.
Recognize the faint whisper of longing
that calls to you from the depths
of your pain, their pain,
and begin your walk towards the other corners,
shining your light softly into them
with your gentle request,
"Teach me how to be kind
and to know what it is like to be you."
Einstein said that it is an optical illusion...
their separateness
and therefore their separate lonely brokenness.
Help them to see...it isn't real.
Mend yourself...
and the world with your willingness to Love.
© Dale-Lyn (Pen) August 2020
Of course I didn't get all the Einstein quotes from the video...only the one "the optical illusion of our separateness" which kind of became the poem and thus led to me going to Brainy quote to find quotes that would relate to what Tara Brach taught. Interesting how it turned out lol.
Anyway, it is all good.
Tara Brach ( July, 2020) Your Awake Heart is Calling you (Redux) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGE68zj_690
Albert Einstein Quotes from Brainy Quote https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/albert-einstein-quotes_
- Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.
- The value of a man should be seen in what he gives and not in what he is able to receive.
- We cannot despair of humanity, since we ourselves are human beings.
- Without deep reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people.
All is well!
FYI: Blog is Changing
Just want to warn you before I begin...in case you are following, (and I do know for sure some of you are, even if the site still registers "no followers"...close to 55,000 readers since incept but it still says "no followers' ) ...Anyway...want to warn you that I suddenly may disappear in late August . The format of this blog is changing then and when I go into edit on the new interface I cannot...so...I am not sure what that will mean to my writing here.
I have so many pages...and I want to keep what I have written so I guess I will have to do up some more books. The blogger does offer a hard copy version of my blog which I have used several times...so I think I will do that...just to have my already written material handy.
But what does that mean for my daily reaching out to you? I am not sure yet. I do hope I can continue here in some way. I do want to be there for you too as you are there for me. Having a readership...gives me the opportunity to teach and share so I learn. You are a very big part of my waking up experience. I don't want to lose you. :) I will figure something out before August 27 .
Just wanted you to know...in case I suddenly disappear...that it was not something I chose. Regardless of what happens I appreciate your readership!
All is well.
Sunday, August 2, 2020
A Little On Social Masks
Party Armour
The room is full of party faces,
masks tightly woven onto layers of protective flesh,
worn like heavy armour that shines
when the light from the window hits it a certain way.
I, in contrast, left my armour at home today,
and stood before the mirror wiping the heavy makeup
from the face they thought was me,
allowing the heavily scarred and pock marked skin appear for viewing,
as I stepped over the threshold into a world that now seems strange.
Dulled by my sober nakedness,
I sit among the beautiful faces that smile at me,
and watch jaws expanding in perfect mouths.
I hear the faint and familiar creaking of those rusty hinges
meant to hold all the unwanted in,
protecting raw and deeply tucked secrets,
as they talk to me in practiced articulation
about things that allow the armour
to glisten even more brilliantly with every ray that touches it.
I, try to keep up with their conversations
and do as I am told by a habit mind that forgets
that I have removed my protective surface.
But the speech that once earned awards and applause
is now full of empty spaces and awkward pauses
where thought will no longer enter.
I forget the things I once knew so well or at least
I forget how to pretend to know,
making me stare dumbly into their intellectual discussions,
nodding like a plastic bobble headed toy on a dashboard
that moves with empty momentum to each twist and turn the conversation takes.
Inward focus has made me stupid to the going ons of the outside world,
and I know I can't keep up.
So I force a smile, hoping that the hinges
I am in the process of dismantling
will still clamp down on secrets this crowd is not ready to hear.
I lower my eyes to the toes curling nervously into my flip flops
and speak from there when I am asked a question,
feeling the exposed hands of shame and fear
cling tenaciously to lip and brow
making it painful to lift my gaze to the shine of their outward surfaces
for fear of paling in comparison.
I do feel it though,
I do hear it though,
the faint and desperate longing,
a soft vibrating hum
emerging from beneath their beautiful suits of armour.
The tender vulnerability they have contained so perfectly in boxes
that would make Pandora blush in shame,
call out in recognition to the tender spots in me
that I now wear like an outbreak of chicken pox on my outer surface.
They fear the contagion and yet they long for it.
They fear the painful release of who they really are
but at the same time they desperately want that freedom.
As beautiful and as shiny as this party armour is
it is heavy and restricting.
As ugly and awkward as I am to them without it,
with my vulnerability pocking my flesh so obviously,
they sense what I know.
I am lighter than I ever was.
I may not be able to keep up with social etiquette
but I am almost able to see just how absolutely
beautiful and perfect
we all are without masks and suits of armour.
I am becoming free to be what I am.
They pause in their articulate recollections
to look at me with heads held pensively to the side
and in that brief second they make a choice.
They are not ready, at this time,
to put down their protective surface
or to release the reality of their pain.
And with armour still shining,
masks so perfectly held in place
they smile politely,
excuse themselves
and get up to walk away.
The room is full of party faces,
masks tightly woven onto layers of protective flesh,
worn like heavy armour that shines
when the light from the window hits it a certain way.
I, in contrast, left my armour at home today,
and stood before the mirror wiping the heavy makeup
from the face they thought was me,
allowing the heavily scarred and pock marked skin appear for viewing,
as I stepped over the threshold into a world that now seems strange.
Dulled by my sober nakedness,
I sit among the beautiful faces that smile at me,
and watch jaws expanding in perfect mouths.
I hear the faint and familiar creaking of those rusty hinges
meant to hold all the unwanted in,
protecting raw and deeply tucked secrets,
as they talk to me in practiced articulation
about things that allow the armour
to glisten even more brilliantly with every ray that touches it.
I, try to keep up with their conversations
and do as I am told by a habit mind that forgets
that I have removed my protective surface.
But the speech that once earned awards and applause
is now full of empty spaces and awkward pauses
where thought will no longer enter.
I forget the things I once knew so well or at least
I forget how to pretend to know,
making me stare dumbly into their intellectual discussions,
nodding like a plastic bobble headed toy on a dashboard
that moves with empty momentum to each twist and turn the conversation takes.
Inward focus has made me stupid to the going ons of the outside world,
and I know I can't keep up.
So I force a smile, hoping that the hinges
I am in the process of dismantling
will still clamp down on secrets this crowd is not ready to hear.
I lower my eyes to the toes curling nervously into my flip flops
and speak from there when I am asked a question,
feeling the exposed hands of shame and fear
cling tenaciously to lip and brow
making it painful to lift my gaze to the shine of their outward surfaces
for fear of paling in comparison.
I do feel it though,
I do hear it though,
the faint and desperate longing,
a soft vibrating hum
emerging from beneath their beautiful suits of armour.
The tender vulnerability they have contained so perfectly in boxes
that would make Pandora blush in shame,
call out in recognition to the tender spots in me
that I now wear like an outbreak of chicken pox on my outer surface.
They fear the contagion and yet they long for it.
They fear the painful release of who they really are
but at the same time they desperately want that freedom.
As beautiful and as shiny as this party armour is
it is heavy and restricting.
As ugly and awkward as I am to them without it,
with my vulnerability pocking my flesh so obviously,
they sense what I know.
I am lighter than I ever was.
I may not be able to keep up with social etiquette
but I am almost able to see just how absolutely
beautiful and perfect
we all are without masks and suits of armour.
I am becoming free to be what I am.
They pause in their articulate recollections
to look at me with heads held pensively to the side
and in that brief second they make a choice.
They are not ready, at this time,
to put down their protective surface
or to release the reality of their pain.
And with armour still shining,
masks so perfectly held in place
they smile politely,
excuse themselves
and get up to walk away.
© Dale-Lyn, August 2020
Okay...that came out in an hour or so after having a sense of restlessness since a family gathering yesterday where I had the opportunity to talk to individuals I greatly admire and respect. This was not meant to make me sound like "Oh I am so awake compared to everyone else"...not at all. It came from a very awkward feeling I had at the party upon realizing how out of the loop I was these days to the going ons of the world and how shame and fear were such "obvious " companions of mine now when I do venture out without my ego. I couldn't carry on a conversation, could barely maintain eye contact etc. Without all the social armour I wore, all the badges of redemption I stuck to my chest to hide my shame and fear (achieving validation for my ability to speak, my intellect, my knowledge of certain things and education) I seen myself like a dull and "dumb" little party guest. I was comparing myself to others and I didn't measure up. So out of this discrepancy between what I thought they were on the outer surface and what I no longer was ...this poem emerged.
I realize upon writing it and reading it...that I hold a lot of tenderness for myself in this awkward point of my waking up. I hold a lot of tenderness for everyone wherever they are in the process. It made me realize this vulnerability I experienced and experience is very real...As uncomfortable as it is...it is something I can embrace. It is like a badge for the work I have done , the healing I have done...Removal of the armour(ego)...though it leaves me feeling so awkward is healthier for me than the armour ever was and likely for others ( when they are ready).
It was not meant to point out the armour in others as if I am better for having huge gaps in mine but I guess to point out that we all wake up at different times and at a different pace. Removing the armour is a part of that waking up. It isn't easy . At the same time the real parts of who we truly are...including the stuffed emotions...recognize each other through the armour but especially when one is more vulnerable without it. So being vulnerable in front of someone gives the other the opportunity to choose if they want to start being more vulnerable...to start stepping away from the things that feed and maintain ego. and to start a real healing of release and letting go ???
Anyway...that is what it is about. Judge as you see fit.
All is well!
Okay...that came out in an hour or so after having a sense of restlessness since a family gathering yesterday where I had the opportunity to talk to individuals I greatly admire and respect. This was not meant to make me sound like "Oh I am so awake compared to everyone else"...not at all. It came from a very awkward feeling I had at the party upon realizing how out of the loop I was these days to the going ons of the world and how shame and fear were such "obvious " companions of mine now when I do venture out without my ego. I couldn't carry on a conversation, could barely maintain eye contact etc. Without all the social armour I wore, all the badges of redemption I stuck to my chest to hide my shame and fear (achieving validation for my ability to speak, my intellect, my knowledge of certain things and education) I seen myself like a dull and "dumb" little party guest. I was comparing myself to others and I didn't measure up. So out of this discrepancy between what I thought they were on the outer surface and what I no longer was ...this poem emerged.
I realize upon writing it and reading it...that I hold a lot of tenderness for myself in this awkward point of my waking up. I hold a lot of tenderness for everyone wherever they are in the process. It made me realize this vulnerability I experienced and experience is very real...As uncomfortable as it is...it is something I can embrace. It is like a badge for the work I have done , the healing I have done...Removal of the armour(ego)...though it leaves me feeling so awkward is healthier for me than the armour ever was and likely for others ( when they are ready).
It was not meant to point out the armour in others as if I am better for having huge gaps in mine but I guess to point out that we all wake up at different times and at a different pace. Removing the armour is a part of that waking up. It isn't easy . At the same time the real parts of who we truly are...including the stuffed emotions...recognize each other through the armour but especially when one is more vulnerable without it. So being vulnerable in front of someone gives the other the opportunity to choose if they want to start being more vulnerable...to start stepping away from the things that feed and maintain ego. and to start a real healing of release and letting go ???
Anyway...that is what it is about. Judge as you see fit.
All is well!
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