The word "Shakti" means power. Shakti, the innate power in reality has five faces. It manifests as the power to be conscious, the power to feel ecstacy, the power of will or desire, the power to know, and the power to act.
Sally Kempton
I had this vision this morning when I was meditating, followed by a host of thoughts and questions. I would like to share it with you.
Part way through my meditation, a vision came to me. I could see a long hollow tunnel (the Sushumna, I assume) and blocking that tunnel were a bunch of broken shale rocks thrown in over it in a haphazard way...like a collapse over a cave...( Samskaras, I assume). Through that shale rock blockage there were streams of light emerging...beautiful light being pulled upward by some force on top of the head. The Source was pulling the light up, back to It. When I followed the direction of that little streams of light I looked up to see a beautiful lotus flower with a thousand petals hovering over the cranium. That lotus flower had all the forces of nature working with it to pull this light and whatever is beneath the rock cover up: electromagneticism, gravity, strong nuclear force, weak nucler force...and something else non-yogi scientists, at this point, have yet to discover, but something yogis have known about for a long, long time.
That was my vision and it led me to think of so many things after the meditation.
Insights and Thoughts
To begin. I don't understand it but I know, I feel more energetic and happy, or at least less heavy and down, whenever I follow the direction that light is going. I know that looking up is freedom, looking to the Source of the light rather than what the light is shining on is the thing to do.
But I am also very curious about this rock blockage. I know that something amazing is trapped beneath it. Even though looking at the rock pile (and the garbage trapped in it) narrows my focus and brings my energy down so much...I know, without fully knowing why, that what is below that blockage is even more light and a Source of something I will never understand the full power of with my mere mind. (Shakti)
When I look through the cracks this light is coming through, in my meditation, I can see and hear the churning of a powerful water and light source against the inside of these rocks. This force is naturally inclined to go where the light is going. It is being pulled to that Source of light but the rocks are in the way. This buried force contains so much energy and intention to go up but it is blocked. So it turns like a whirlpool, around and around, pushing and crashing against the rocks, moving them a smidgeon upward with every crash. And the rocks are moving...they are loosening and shifting...getting closer and closer to the top where with a small gentle push from this trapped whirpool they can come to the surface to be released, one rock at a time...leaving another crack for the light and splashes of this soothing, healing water to come through, while relieving the pressure a bit on the inside.
There is orderly intention here in what seems like random and uncomfortable chaos. This force inside is doing what it is intended to. It is painfully freeing itself and purifying us so we are more spacious to accept Life as it is. Though, it is certainly not comfortable to have these rocks rumbling around inside us, pushed by such a strong force...it is happening for a reason. The rocks are not meant to be there and the force is attempting to free itself. It will.
That is, of course, if more rocks from the outside are not shovelled in on top adding to the blockage of rock (and garbage). That is, of course, if we do not continue to push it back down so we don't have to feel it or experience it, by using defense mechanisms like suppression or repression..
Questions:
This is where the questions start coming into my mind, as if from another questioner asking me if I know the answers. I don't know the answers. lol Yet, I feel compelled to answer...not from my very much unevolved ego mind but from a place that is suddenly emerging from beneath it as I write.
If there is some undiscovered force inside us waiting to emerge, why would anyone shovel more stuff in on top of what could be one of the most amazing archeological digs the human species could ever take part in, crazy lady? Who or what would prevent such an earth shattering discovery?
The Unevolved and resistant human mind would. The psyche, which is intent on preserving itself and this illusion, would.
WTF? You doing shrooms?
Just let me take you to what I could see through meditation today (btw: my life practice and my meditation are drug free lol). This blockage I was looking at is more or less the psyche...the sum of all learned experiences, a massive and heavy collection of samskaras: all the things I stored from life experience that I didn't deal with.
Didn't deal with?
Yes, the stuff I didn't just let pass through; didn't just observe and experience as a part of this amazing journey of being human; the stuff I judged, desired, craved, clung to; the stuff I feared and pushed away. With every preference I shovelled some of this shale rock in. With every aversion I buried the amazing Force even more. I erronously thought for most of my life that the glimpses of light, in the form of peace, happiness, joy etc, I was experiencing were coming from out there and it was up to me to grab what I could and determine just how much to let in. I resisted so much of my life experience because I thought it was my job to do so. I feared what would happen if I didn't. I created this mess inside me...and then with every uncomfortable shift of shale rock I pushed down even more; I shovelled even more in, hoping that would stop the uncomfortable shifting inside. When every rock came to the surface, and therefore to my conscious awareness...I panicked in fear and I pushed it back down. not seeing what was truly happening. I was widening and strengtheing the blockage, making things worse.
I did this! I created this mess inside me. I blocked this force from going to the Source. I created this mess and then I stared at what I created so intently and so narrowly that I began to believe that this was all there was. I identified with this collection of samskaras, this psyche. My stored stuff/ this rock/garbage pile became "me". For most of my life, I didn't see, as "me", that both the little streams of light that managed to escape and the turbulence I too often was feeling, was coming from below the blockage not from out there. I didn't see, as "me", that there was nothing I was supposed to do about what Life unfolded in front of me...that it wasn't mine to fix...in fact, it didn't need to be fixed for it was perfect as it was. I didn't see, as frightened, "seperate me", that I ws simply here to observe it all and experience it all, and that without the blockage it would all be so amazing! I didn't see, as "me", that all life experiences are just meant to flow in and flow out as part of this amazing dance. I didn't see, as "me", that I was never meant to judge any of it, cling to any of it, push any of it away or resist any of it! I didn't see as "me", that it was all much bigger than "me" and my puny little psyche.
Can you see now?
I can truly see now that Life will take care of herself and that this grasping, clinging, preferring, desiring, judging, selecting, pushing away and resisting I have been doing all my life is what created this blockage. I also see, though I still nose dive or smash into it from time to time, I am not the blockage. I am simply observing it.
So is it our job to dismantle this psyche? To execavate and dig and pull each samskara rock we put there away so we can get to what is beneath?
No, We have already done enough. It is time to leave it up to Life. We couldn't carry all these rocks away if we wanted to...they are too big and too heavy. Our job, if we have one, is to simply step back and let this force inside us do what it knows to do. Let it rumble and disturb the rocks, bringing them to the surface for release. We just need to get out of the way. It won't be comfortable, and even down right painful at times, but so be it! It will cleanse us and set us free, if we let it. Getting out of the way, also means not pushing down or shovelling more stuff in. A hands off approach is needed here...a releasing and a letting go is needed here. An acceptance of what is is needed here.
What about the beams of light that are escaping from the rock pile?
Follow them. We can begin with meditation. Instead of staring down at the mess, envision light emerging from the cracks; and trace that stream of light, no matter how tiny, back to the Source. In my meditative vision I saw a thousand petal lotus at the top of my head as the Source pulling that light up. That is because I practice yoga and recognize the seventh chakra. It is also because I often use the mantra "Om Mani Padme Hum", which means "the jewel of the lotus"...which takes us to the Source of all. That was just my vision...use whatever comes to mind when you think of God, a higher power, the Source of all this. Follow the light back to that, follow the light back to who you really are.
You are not the rock pile blockage, the psyche, the body and the mind...you are that which is experiencing these things. Remember that. So look for light emerging through cracks in this "me drama" you are so caught up in, in your every day experiences. This light, of course, represents every splash of higher energy emotion you experience: peace, happiness, joy, love etc. Everytime you feel good, follow the light up. Ask: Where is this truly coming from? The thing I just baught? The nice thing that person just said to me? This pleasant outer experience? Or is something being released in me? Am I opening up to this light and this flow?
It is something within you...there is something opening up within you, allowing the light out. Follow that back to its Source! It is an inward tracing, not an outer one. Let the Shakti free itself and you.
Oops!
Wow! I just meant to tell you about the nice vision I had during meditation and how it made so much sense to me. I didn't mean to bore you to death with my rambling. lol
All I wanted to say, in summary...is there is a samskara layer inside you of your own making, blocking the flow of Shakti back to the Source. Stand back and allow Life, nature, and this Shakti to do what it knows what to do without getting in the way ( no more resisting, no more pushing down, no more shovelling in). And while it is causing a lot of shifting inside you as it frees itself, embrace the light that emerges from each new crack. Follow each beam back to the Source. You will discover amazing things there. You will find Who you really are there.
All is well.
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