Building "me" and Polestars

 Any place where you can put your heart and your mind that is not on you is a wonderful place to put it.

Michael A. Singer

 Not sure what is happening with this site...if that bot activity is doing something malicious. Which is sad being that it might be the only readership I have. lol Could all this mean, that the time, effort, and energy I expend writing here has absolutely no positive value for others... and is possibly even leading to unwholesome and unwanted things for others? Could it mean that it,  and "me" as a teacher, are of no benefit to the world? Maybe, I am not getting through to even one person? I don't like thinking that way, not even for a second.  I mean, I am okay with not reaching many but if I am only  sharing this "precious soul speak" with those who are blocking its progress and using it for unwholesome reasons...do I continue? 

I personally get so much from being here. So much growth and learning. With this "idea" in the back of my mind that it might serve a higher purpose other than "me's" growth...I am inspired. I love the feeling of inspiration. Yet, it isn't just about "me"  and what I am getting from this, is it? The writing circle isn't just about me. Nothing in this world that I do, say, think, or feel is just about me.  Everything is interdependent! This idea of preserving "me", in fact,  is in the way of what I can do for others.

I am not here for me...I am here for you...if I am here for me...I am not be here for you...

Michael Singer

I would like to think I am here for you...serving in some way that I can. But am I?

Am I honoring and on the right trajectory toward  my ultimate goal, my polestar by coming here? My lower human goal is to be seen as a writer and teacher ( The ultimate goal is creating identity, according to James Clear and perfectly okay in its humanness. We establish habits  for that purpose.  But according to a yogi, building identity is a downward focus of Chit Shakti that could block a greater flow). 

I do have higher goals, however. My highest goal, the one that really drives me...my polestar...is spiritual growth. Spiritual growth is all about getting "me" out of the way and letting the soul beneath speak. That soul speak is precious. 

Exploiting the Precious? 

So I use the few human passions and talents I have to get me to a higher place. I use it to serve. Is it getting me to my polestar or am I stuck here on this level of habit maintenance?  When I see  that it is possible that what I create here could not only be  falling into empty space, unread, unseen, but it might also  be used for no good...my heart breaks. I hate to think that this site, and others out there like it, are being used as  donkeys to carry others down into the valley, a donkey the hijackers are too unconscous to see or care about as anything more than a quick fix to make their life easier as they drag unwilling travellers behind them to use for their own purposes later on.  How could something meant to be so good turn out so nasty, or at the very least so valueless? I don't know.

Is This Good for Me and Thee?

So I question again: Should I stay or should I go? Now I am adding onto that: Am I doing more harm than good here? That makes me sad. Both the me and the Thee seem to like it here ( or at least that is what I am telling myself).  Both the self and the Self, the human and the Being  can use this page for their own growth and expansion, can't they? Then why isn't it working in the way I thought it should?  (Aha...a statement that speaks to my lack of evolvement). I am once again questioning the roots of my desires, my habits, my polestar. 

Craving assists with the establishment and maintenance of lower human goals that help this "me" develop habits that will get it what it wants:  identify as a writer, teacher etc., according to James Clear.

Desire and craving are what initiate behaviour. page 264 

Yet craving, we are taught by spiritual teachers, is the source of all human suffering.  And the the only thing worth pursuing truly is the eternal, the changeless and the infinite. The thing standing in our way of attaining that ( which is already in us) is not only our desires, The great way is not difficult for those who have no preferences (Third Zen Patriarch)...but this identity of "me". We are not here to build and serve  an identity that will wax and wane like the tides. We are here to get past our human identity for the truth of what lay beneath it. We need to die to be reborn. 

So what are you going to do crazy lady?

I don't know.

But here I am anyway, trying to figure it all out. I am hoping this  site will prove to be a wonderful place where I can  put my heart and my mind in a way that is not on me, but on you.

All is well. 

James Clear ( 2018) Atomic Habits. New York: Avery

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe( April 21, 2024) Make Spirituality the Polestar of  Your Life. https://tou.org/talks/