Dumpster Diving?

 If you don't get pulled down into the garbage, you get to float back into the ecstacy. 

Michael A. Singer

I believe the above statement, I do. That is one of the reasons I practice yoga.  I am not seeking ecstacy, however, as much as I am wanting peace of mind.  And though I practice regularly and make my sadhanna the most important part of my day...I have yet to experience a steady flow of peace...(though I am experiencing it more and more)...and I still get pulled into the garbage big time, (though much less frequently than I used to and for shorter periods). I am still very much a student in the primary grades of spirituality. 

Life, the Greatest Teacher, is really helping me out with this learning.  (Let me tell ya!)  She is dumping one stinky pile of garbage down in front of me, after another. As I progress spiritually,  this garbage  in front of me seems to be more and more compelling, demanding of my attention.  The garbage from inside, at the same time,  is coming up out of me in peristalic spasms.  I am not sure if each pile coming out of me and each pile Life is placing in front of me, in terms of life circumstance, is getting bigger, stinkier, and more challenging to deal with than the one before it,  or if the accumulation of life long pilings are simply adding up to the point they are creating a mountain in front of me...but Man, it is a challenge to stay centered, in the Seat of Objective Observer. It is pretty yucky around here most times.  

When I do get centered, and I still do with my practice which includes observing how I respond in everyday life, it is a challenge to stay centered. When some intense emotion or memory comes up, or when life throws another challenge at me,  it is difficult to avoid taking yet another dumpster dive. I quickly become swallowed up with  identification with that rubbage I plunged into.  It is just so in my face! This garbage is very  compelling and addictive. 

Sigh! Michael A. Singer also tells us, in the below linked podcast, we, as humans, have a tendency to get pulled down into our emotion, thought, and sensation filled human dramas/ our garbage because they are addictive. Our tendency is to focus and narrow this amazing light of consciousness down into a tiny little beam so it can really get up close and personal with that thing we call "My Life/ My Drama/My Problems". We then identify with what the light is shining on, more than we identify with the light. This narrowed focus pulls us to the point we believe we are what is being illuminated (thoughts, emotions, body-sensations, life circumstance) rather than the  knowing that we are the illuminator. 

Dumspter Diving  has become a life long habit for most of us.    It is a habit, a very strong one.  Habits, I am learning however,  can be broken. We need to first realize that we are attracted to that garbage and that we are the ones diving into it. We are not being pushed! Owning our response-ability means we are recognizing our ability to response in a healthier way, to create better habits. 

I have finished reading Atomic Habits by James Clear, and am now going back through it, studying it, analyzing it, taking notes, examining my current habits and practicing what it suggests etc. As I do , I have this inner knowing, that though it is a guide to creating practical to-do lists ( which I particularly am not a fan of), it is also a guide, whether Clear intended it or not, to creating  a healthy spiritual practice of "to-being". I am going to come back with that correlation at a later date. Great book, by the way. So well written and well researched!!! 

So, as I stick my head up through the pile of rubbage that surrounds me and wipe last months pizza off my face, I admit...I did it again. I admit to the Teacher that I allowed myself to get pulled in again, to bother myself again.Then, I ask, "What did I learn this time about my psyche, about this stuff that pulled me in, this stuff I was shining this amazing light of consciousness on? What did I learn about it, but more importantly what can I learn about the light that was doing the illuminating? " 

Then I pull myself back away from this narrow focus, away from the garbage pile, the dump, this thing I call "my problem". I expand my gaze  and I look around at what is.  It is so amazing! From there,  I trace the amazing focus, the amazing light back to its amazing Source.  I get as close as I can to That, knowing That is who I Am...not this garbage I was focusing on. Tat Tvam Asi. I wait there observing and experiencing Life at a higher level, fully aware that I might be tempted again.  I might plunge again.  I might get lost in the mess again.  And it is all okay.  It's just psyche that does the diving and that gets lost.  Who I am...Tat Tvam Asi is okay. It is the light that observes.  It can never be contaminated by that which I pollute my mind, heart, and body with. 

Hmm...I came up a little quicker this time, I awoke from this dream of garbage submersion a little sooner.  That's progress!

All is well. 

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( April 1, 2024) Being: Finding Refuge in the Self. https://tou.org/talks/