No wonder people so often speak about the benign numbing effect of their addictions: only a person in pain craves anesthesia. ...Ask not why the addiction, but why the pain.
Gabor Mate, The Myth of Normal (Knopf, 2022), page 220
I have to have a difficult conversation with a loved one today or tomorrow, a person who craves anesthesia. I was waiting for this person to be stable enough for me to do so but I also knew there was just a slim window of opportunity before old habit energies took over again. Those energies of denial, suppression, repression, avoidance, relief seeking, desire for numbing, fantasizing, storytelling etc have already begun. So...it is time to share my truth.... not that I have any power to affect change in this individual. It probably will have little effect. I do it only because it is my truth and I need to share it before I surrender fully to what is.
Sigh! Reminded of samskaras again. So I felt pulled to come to the camera again to talk about the buried pain energy that causes all our suffering. (And as you can tell by the way I look...it isn't an ego thing that brings me to the camera, that brings me here. It is something much bigger.)
All is well in my world
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