"Thinking" net

The goal of meditation is not to get rid of your thoughts and emotions.  The goal is to become more AWARE of your thoughts and emotions and learn how to move through them without getting stuck.
-Dr. P. Goldin

I keep catching myself running off during meditation and mindfulness practice.  Then I catch myself catching myself running off.  It gets quite confusing lol. 

The Snowball Effect

When I do realize that I have run off, I do my best not to analyze what it was that led me off in the first place. I don't want to recall the details of it because I do not want to get lost in the snow ball momentum of the thought process again.  One small thought leads to another and another until I am caught in the middle of some humongous snowball that is rolling out of control.  This leads to one degree of feeling than another...or one degree of resisting and pushing against a feeling than another.

 The more negative the thought, the quicker that snowball rolls, don't you find? And there are so many different thoughts that lead in different directions...different feelings...different intensities...but they all seem to go downhill...fast!   :)

Catch Thoughts in a "Thinking"  Net

The trick is, I discovered,  to catch yourself before you get too far, before the momentum gets hard to break.  You just catch yourself thinking and bring self back. And  instead of doing what got us in this mess in the first place...analyzing, judging, deciphering, discriminating  our thoughts...we can just group them all under one big label: "Thinking!"

I just say "thinking" when I catch myself going off.  That is usually enough to stop the momentum long enough so I can coach my mind away from the object it was chasing and back to my breath.

Don't dwell on the object...just recognize yourself following it in the  mind and say "thinking".  "Oh look at me thinking again." 

Don't judge the thought, don't analyze it ( at least not while you are trying to return to center). Don't make one thought more worthy than another of your attention. Just recognize the activity of thinking...the running off...put it all in one big "Thinking" net...and come back to center.

Going Off and Coming Back Again and Again and Again.

 Sure your mind will go off again but simply learn to watch  yourself being pulled away and come back to center again.  That is all meditating does.  It trains us to be aware of our thoughts, aware that we are going off so we can pull ourselves back again and again and again. Being aware of "thinking" is the first part.

Staying At the Top of the Hill

Then once that is mastered, the trick is to stay at the top of the hill...of not allowing ourselves to run after the crazy nonsense our minds can spill. The trick is in realizing that we want to be the something that observes and watches, that catches us running off and coaches us back. 

We don't want to be the one that is constantly chasing after thoughts. We do not want to be caught up in the never ending snowball momentum. We accomplish this shift in our thinking when we become aware of awareness.  When we become observant of the observer.

Aware of Awareness

We begin by being aware we have run off and with more practice we eventually evolve into being aware of awareness itself.

It is being in that place of awareness that will prevent anymore snowy somersaults down hill. It is in  the being aware of awareness that  we will experience peace.

All is well in my world