Esteem: A step toward "self image" actualization?

Go towards Self actualization rather than self-image actualization...Search within...for honest self expression.
-Bruce Lee

I love what Abraham Maslow has done in the field of psychology and social science.  I  have studied his pyramid in depth and agree with how  many of those rungs he describes can lead us to Self-actualization.  Well, all accept one.  I question Esteem and wonder if it will simply lead us to ego's version of "little me" actualization rather than truth. Hmm!

Esteem

We all want to be recognized and valued by other human beings but are we being conditioned to value the ego in ourselves and others more so than the actual Self? Are we striving toward true self actualization or self-image actualization?

Being successful  doing?

What types of things bring on this type of esteem that precedes actualization on Maslow's climb to the top of the pyramid?   Being successful?  What, then,  does it mean to be successful to the ego in today's western culture?  Most of us would say it involves having a "good, respectable job"...one that will allow for economic and social status growth, right? One that others will be envious of? One that will make us "appear" a certain way in the eyes and minds of others? One that will allow us to attain a certain wealth and to buy and own a lot of  cool "stuff"? So to attain and maintain esteem, we need a "good" job that promotes all the things the ego loves? What we "do" is all important to the ego's version of esteem.

What about being?

What about "being"...where is that mentioned?  What about that presence and awareness that doesn't require striving and fighting.  What about the living that exists in us here and now?  Where is that mentioned?

Being Recognized and Validated

Some would also say success requires being liked, loved, or adored by others.  Recognition is an important part of esteem. Do we need, then,  to have a reputation built on pleasing others...to maintain an image of being important, "normal",  "worthy", productive ? Many would say that is what we need in order to maintain "esteem"-an image.

We have to blend into the norms of our modern culture and stand out only when we can exemplify them. That is success...in this version of esteem.  We will be esteemed, we will feel esteem when we are "like others"  so we can be "liked by others".

Image or Authenticity?

We are in a sense dependent on external validation...that which is obtained from the "outside". So what ever is considered "normal" in the outside world is what we must adhere to regardless if it makes sense or not to our authentic selves ...to achieve successful esteem? So where does authenticity come in to play?  What about what we really want and see as important...or even what makes sense to us.  Do we ignore that to fit in?

Being in special relationships

And we are told we need to have healthy "special" relationships to reach esteem.  The rung that precedes Esteem on Maslow's hierarchy is the need for love and belonging.  We are social animals.  I agree. We need each other!!! There is no doubt about that.

Yet our need for "special" relationships exemplifies more of a lack of self esteem than it does a healthy one. Don't you think? If we need to select and be selected by one or two special people in our lives to feel like we matter and we are of value...is that truly self- esteem?  If we are feeling a need to fill up emptiness in us...is that a sign that we moving up toward feeling good about ourselves?  Is it a true step toward actualization?  Isn't actualization  all about valuing an emptiness that is not loneliness?

And why select?  Why do we have to choose and be chosen by a few select people  when true actualization will teach us that everyone and everything  in the world is a part of us.  When we select a few we draw distinct lines in the sand between "us and them" and we create an identity based on that...at the exclusion of all others.  Does exclusion sound like an appropriate mode of being in actualization?

Is Esteem about Giving others responsibility for feeling good about who we are?

Don't get me wrong.  We need to belong and love the people we are around.  I love the people I have "special relationships" with but in truth part of the reason I love them is because they make me feel better about "me".  I still believe in some warped part of my mind, that they have the power to  boost my self esteem and take me to where I want to be.  Not only the power...but the responsibility!

 Most of the time...I believe they are helping me to get there.  When they fail to meet that ego-imposed responsibility or worse they  "make me"  feel bad about myself, however, ...which happens a lot in all  special relationships...I don't like them very much and I have a tendency to make them want to feel bad for not meeting my esteem needs.  I unconsciously get angry, pass judgment, blame and do whatever I can to make them feel guilty for not making my "esteem" their major priority. 

If you are honest with yourself, I bet you do the same in your special relationships. Does this sound like a healthy step toward actualization?

Lacking?

I see this pyramid, as wonderful as it is in many ways,  lacking.  It does not speak to what I have come to believe actualization really is.  When we are truly Self actualized we actualize the Self, not the ego.  In that Self we may recognize the insignificance of ego's version of "self" which is limited to I, me and mine. We put that little self down and proceed to serve the world.

That is how I see it anyway. Esteem/self image won't take us there.

All is well

Make way for peace, and it will come.  For understanding is in you, and from it peace must come.
ACIM:T: Ch14:XI:14:7-8

Is The Atmosphere Peaceful and Harmonious?

If in a room full of people someone becomes angry and begins shouting, the atmosphere becomes tense for everyone. However, if every person in a group feels and demonstrates warm feelings and respect for one another, the atmosphere is peaceful and Harmonious.
- Dalai Lama

Have you ever noticed that?  How much better it is to live or work with a bunch of people who show warmth and respect for each other?  Have you ever been in a situation where one person was angry all the time and overtly or covertly ( which is often the case in a poison work environment) expressing that anger?  Not nice is it? You tend to feel the heavy tension and discord in the environment before your mind can even make sense of what is going on.

So what do we do in these situations? 

First of all...don't be the yeller!  Tame your mind enough to recognize when anger is beginning to bubble up in you and then control it before it blasts out to all the people around you.  Recognize the anger, accept the anger, be accountable for the anger( no one or nothing can make you angry without your consent) , gently and nonjudgmentally allow it to pass through in a healthy way that doesn't drag people into the madness. Let it pass through and then let it go!!!!

If you are not the yeller...find out who is.  Be aware of that individual's need to explode in public.  Then become aware of that person's unconsciousness.  Know they are still unconscious and not fully aware of what they are doing. Forgive them for that because it will make your life a lot easier and it will make the group dynamic a lot healthier.  

If Jesus can make a plea to God while He is painfully being crucified, Father forgive them, for they no not what they do." Luke 23:34 ESV...you can recognize that the individual who is stirring up discord is just unconscious.  Know that it is a waste of your time  to try to understand them, fix them, get them to understand you or to change.  It doesn't do any good to actively resist or to allow yourself to get caught up in the drama. 

Step back and away physically if you can but if not, at least mentally.  (Of course if your safety is at risk that is another story...definitely get help.)

Make it a conscious effort to be one of those who "demonstrates warm feelings and respect for one another" even when the people you are dealing with aren't as committed to such a task.  Be peaceful anyway and eventually your life and the world around you will become more peaceful.

All is well.

Frustrated?

Vanity of vanities, says the preacher.

Vanity of vanities! All is vanity!

What does man gain from all the toils

at which he toils under the sun?

-Ecclesiastes I (ESV)

Are you feeling frustrated with yourself yet?

I hope so!  I am not being mean when I say that. 

I sincerely hope that you are getting frustrated enough with yourself that you are willing to change.  I want you frustrated with life and I want you watching yourself be frustrated.  I want you frustrated with the stuff going on in your mind as you come to terms with the craziness and the never-ending loop of negative thinking that goes on in there.  I want you frustrated in your relationships, realizing that other people  are not making you happy and knowing somewhere that that isn't their job anyway.  I want you feeling frustration over the fact that no matter how hard it is, how much of your time and energy it takes to get what you want from out there to make you happy...that it never lasts.  Either you can't seem to get everything needed or when you do it just doesn't last.

I just want you good and frustrated.  I want you shouting out, "My life just isn't working for me!"

Why would I wish frustration on someone?



Because frustration  is the doorway to change.  Frustration is a sign that something isn't working and maybe, just maybe you are ready for a change.

Frustration with self is built into our existence-to drive us out of identification with form.

Eckhart Tolle

What has to change?

Not the things out there.  It would be impossible to change everything around us so it suits us and keeps us happy forever.  Life doesn't work that way.  What we need to change is our thinking and our perceiving...how we see the world! That is what has to change.  Change is an internal game just as our reason for frustration is not an external one. Frustration  cannot be blamed on the outside world.  It is our minds that are responsible for our negativity and through our minds we can put that frustration to bed, once and for all.

Circumstances cannot keep you happy, people cannot make and keep you happy.  No matter how much money you earn or how many things you possess...you will not be happy ( or unhappy) because of them. The past can't bring happiness back to you...and the future cannot make you happy because it never comes.  Isn't that darned depressing?  Frustrating?

I hope so because once you get to that point of realization... the light comes in.  You stop striving and fighting and struggling and grasping at forms be they tangible or just thoughts.  You slip out of time focus and settle your tired old butt down into the moment.  That is a beautiful place to understand things clearly.

What will make you happy?

I look at the word "happy" as an ego adjective rather than a spiritual one.  What would make you peaceful, joyful, "alive"?  That is a better question.

The answer is: this moment you are in and Life doing what ever Life does in that moment.  That is what can make you much more than "happy". Realization of who you really are...which is whole, full, well and complete...will bring you peace.  In fact it is the only thing that can  wipe away the frustration and bring you peace.

What will bring you joy is not a thing you can hold in your hand or the achievement of a goal that takes you from this moment.  It is what is inside you here and now. 

That something is Life.  Feel it. Appreciate it!  Enjoy it!  You will find no frustration there.

All is well.

Good Reason to Attack?

This will lead you to hatred and attack and loss of peace. ACIM:T:8:VII:4:9

Well isn't there sometimes a good reason to attack?

What if someone was about to bomb my country first?  Wouldn't that be good reason to attack? What if someone was about to steal my life savings, purposefully burn my house down or brutally beat up someone I loved ?  Isn't that good enough reason to attack?

Man!  That would be terrible  and I honestly hope that nothing like that ever  happens to you.  If any of the above  was about to happen to me, right now, I don't know what I would do.  I would probably very much want to attack ( once I got over the daze of fear and victim hood), and to be honest I probably would attack if I could. I would attack because I am not evolved enough yet to do what would truly benefit all concerned. I would attack because I would be so consumed with fear of what would happen if these things happened? What "I" would lose.

And what if my defenses don't work and these things actually go down, what then? Isn't counter attack called for? I would tell myself it was! I would t be  angrily thinking of the injustice perpetuated on me, and ego would be more than roaring that "Someone has to pay!"

A Different Approach

If I were truly evolved, however,  I know somehow that my approach would be different.  I would be able to step back from the situation and look at it more clearly.  I would see it all, not through ego's angry eyes,  but through spirit's.  Things would appear totally different from that perspective. With a certain detachment and a whole lot of clarity and wisdom I would see that "attack" does no one any good. I would see that the part of "me" that is strongly encouraging me to attack, is a part of me I truly don't want running my life. I would also see that what I am defending is something not worth defending.

What?  My country, my livelihood, my house or my loved ones are not worth defending?  How can you say that?

Hmm!  This is a tough one so bear with me. Though it seems that you are defending something valuable in these counter attacks, are you really?  Do you truly understand why you value the things you value and what is truly important?

Is it justified to attack for country?

You value country and find it deserving of defense and attack?

Okay.  Are you  attacking for "country" or for an idea you have of  "country"?  Somewhere in your mind, you see clearly marked border lines around this thing you call your country but if I asked you to show me those clear  lines in the earth all around it, could you? Unless Trump puts his wall up, there are  no real lines separating all the countries in the world  are there?  Borders for the most part are just something created by the mind.  Separate countries, then, are just mental constructs we cling to and defend, aren't they?  You can't point to the actual ending of one country and the beginning of another in anyway other than on a map, can you?

We may put fences up and scattered border crossings to support our mental constructs  but the earth doesn't define itself by separate countries, does it? Why do we?  And why do we put so much  energy,  resources,  time and more lives into defending these borders that really do not exist anywhere but in our minds? Are you truly willing to attack for an idea of something created by the mind?

You are defending this idea of "separation," aren't you?

Just say, we were to realize the truth that there was no such thing as border lines, your country would then be the whole world, wouldn't it? And if "your country"  is the whole world who was bombed in the first attack and who would be bombed in your counter attack? Who is hurting and who is getting hurt?

And are you actually attacking for "country" or for a particular idea  you have of  "your country".  If there actually were natural borders between "us and them", and the  bombed country was some place on the map you never heard of, would you attack for that so called country? Would you even be angry for more than a few minutes upon reading about it in the news?  No...probably not. 

You see, you are justifying attacking for "your country". You, well the ego part of you, has identified itself with the imagined  geographical borders that surround you. You see this piece of earth as yours...you define yourself by it.  "I am an American, a Canadian, an Australian." It is in a sense the "you" you see yourself as.  What you are really defending then is not "country" but a part of you...a part of you filling you with destructive separation ideas.   This idea of "my country" just gives you a sense of identity as a separate being, individually and collectively.  It feeds the ego. You then are defending ego. You are defending and attacking for ego, not "country".

Do you value ego that much that you would attack for it?  Is it truly something that matters enough to fight over?

Is it justified  to attack for your livelihood?

So you worked hard all your life, putting money aside for some rainy day and someone who has no right to it, someone who maybe never worked an "honest day" in their life comes and attempts to snatch it all away. Surely, now you have a reason to attack?

Let's look at this a little closer.  What are you about  to lose here?  Money?   What is money? Money is just a symbol of "stuff" that our society places great value on.  It is also something that terrifies us.  Why?  Money is directly related to ego's constant chirping that "there isn't enough."  Ego thrives on this scarcity principle.  It is how it drives us. How will we ever survive in a "not enough" world if someone or something takes  "the not enough" we have away? Fear is generated and fear leads us to defend or attack.

You also justifying your attack because because the money you earned  was "hard earned".  Anything you worked hard for is valuable to who, to which part of you?   Is it valuable to the spirit that says, "You need nothing; you already are complete; relax;  it is more important to be than do; Life will take care of you" ...or is it valuable to the ego (both yours and the collective ego of society)?

As far as money is concerned in this attack dilemma, remember it is a thing of form.  All things of form come and go.    It is never worthy of attack.

It is only valuable to ego. The ego says:  "In order to get by in this hard cruel world you need to strive and fight and do and push and suffer. There is only so much to go around, so earn what you can by struggling  and working hard.  Then stuff it away somewhere because things are only going to get worse in the future.  You will really need it then."

Think about that...does that make sense to the part of you that is not crazy?

The Idea of Time?

We are constantly clinging to the past and waiting for a then, aren't we? We tend to see the value of everything in Life  through past and future, don't we?

And what are we really attacking for then?  This idea of time? Are we defending the past?  Are we clinging to all the past hours we put into earning this  so called "life savings" thing, making it  worth nothing if someone takes the "outcome" of those hours of struggle away?   Are we defending and attacking for this idea of the "future"?    What will happen in this future if we don't have any money...how will we survive?

Fear arises and maybe we feel justified to attack because of this fear of not making it? What would we have if we didn't have the future?  What would all that work be worth then? Truth is many of us, in that situation, would be  clinging to a belief that life is somehow in the past or in future and we attack for more than the money.  We also  fear what will happen  if someone tries to take our concept of time away? It is this idea of time we are defending? Who will we be without it? 

 Time is ego's thing, not Spirit's( and by Spirit I mean our formless essence, our true Self, our higher consciousness...whatever you wish to call it.) .  And when we defend and attack for time  we are doing so to protect ego devices that don't serve us.  Spirit knows  the whole time we were working to earn we were just waiting for the next moment to come and the next until we had so much in the bank.  We were not truly living in the only time there is. That time is right now.


Is it justified to attack for a home?

Man, the other night I was about to attack for my home without truly knowing what I was facing or what was truly going on.  I was driven by ego's greatest motivator: fear.  Fear and anger often go hand in hand.  What we tend to fear is losing something we identify with...what ego identifies with.  Our homes are full of our stuff, are they not?  Things we collected over the years  that somehow define us.  Burn that down and you burn down a part of who we are, right?  Who will we be without that?  So we have a right to attack then, don't we?

It is all just stuff !!! It is not us.  We are so much more than walls, and decor.  Much more than the material things we collected. We are so much more than form.  Is it ever okay to attack for stuff? Is it ever okay to attack for such silly things the ego needs to survive?

Is it justified to attack for a loved one?

This is a tricky one too.  Life is sacred and it needs to be preserved. I definitely do not want to see anyone hurt and I can definitely understand the sense of justified grievance that would arise from seeing someone we love hurt by another....Ego would react  like the "Mama Bear" but  I think Spirit would look at this way.

It would ask... : Who is your loved one? Why are you only selecting a few of the 5 billion people who are on this planet as worthy enough to defend and attack over?  Why isn't your loved one also the person in that country over there, or....person who did the attacking? Would you defend or  counter-attack for someone you didn't know if they were getting hurt?  If the person attacking was someone you loved too, how would you feel about attacking them then? Are you any different than the attacker if you attack back in whatever way you attack? Does attack justify attack? How is the attack helping to make the situation better?  Can it undo what was done? Who is really being hurt by attack and counter attack?

I know I know...the biggest trigger I believe for wanting to attack is when the people we love get hurt or to protect them from it.  We feel that intense pain, empathy and anger when the people we have selected as special get hurt by another,  Right? Would you feel the same intensity of justified anger by hearing in the news how someone else you didn't know was assaulted by another? It may catch you a bit but most of us would only be momentarily uncomfortable. We probably wouldn't think of it again. Why then, do we react so strongly when the people we have "special" relationships with get hurt?

Again we see ourselves as separate and they become pieces of our separate world.


Special Relationships

Because somehow these "loved" victims  are a part of us.  Ego selected them because it  needed them in order to feel more whole and complete.  Most special relationships are "ego relationships" based on need and wanting. We strive to fill in our empty spots with others...loving them when we mistakenly believe they "fill us up and make us feel good" , hating them (or at least attacking them) when they fail to do so. We are heavily invested in these relationships...for ego's sake.

If it wasn't for ego we would see no need for "special" relationships and we would be able to see our connection in all beings.  We would be able to see the same light in the attacker as we see in the attacked.  Though we would not condone the behaviour by any means and expect consequences be they karmic or social sanctions, we would forgive.  We  would recognize his/her unconsciousness but still see the beauty  and innocence within. 

If spirit were in charge of our response to these things it would tell us that we will also be hurt by any attack we throw at another.  For the light in the attacked and the attacker is the same light that is in us.  We are all one. Separation by body lines is another thing the mind has made up that we foolishly believe.

Who we really are...we all are.  One!  If I hurt another, I hurt myself. When another hurts me, they hurt themselves.  This truth exists beyond all the unconsciousness we walk around with, beneath all ego's mixed up hold on us. This truth is all that matters!

And the truth also professes that we are cannot be hurt by anything! So though the threat to country, possessions, home or loved one can be felt by the ego...it is not felt by who we really are.  What is valuable is this truth only.


No "outrageous" effect requests can be made of one who recognizes what is valuable and wants to accept nothing else.  ACIM:T:12:lll:4:8

The Only valuable thing worth defending and protecting is who we really are...and that cannot be hurt anyway.

All is well.

ACIM

Are you About to Attack?

Remember that those who attack are poor. ACIM:T: Chapter 12:III: 3:3

So you are angry?

Someone just said or did something that triggered one of your tender spots.  They criticized something you did or failed to give you credit for it. They didn't seem to care about your issues or ignored them all together.  They forgot your birthday or didn't even attempt to go to your loved one's funeral. They purposefully made a snide comment or suggestion that felt like a deliberate jab to your most vulnerable spot.

You were hurt...than you became angry. 

You are now ready to attack: say something, do something or simply think about something that will hurt them or make them feel good and guilty for what they have done.

Don't!

Before you attack:

Step Back!

Take a deep Breath!

Begin again!

Know that attack is an ego reaction. It is all about honoring separation. It is a "me" against another "me" thing, an ego against ego thing and has little to do with what you truly want to achieve.

Why do we attack?

We attack to protect the ego.  We want to protect this made up idea of who we think we are.  And because we are so identified with these bodies and personalities, these roles we walk around in...at the same time knowing how "flimsy" they are... we attack when we assume someone is going to knock us out of them, at least partially, when we can no longer defend ourselves.

When I wrote the other day about missing something I was speaking about a role I once identified with.  I felt "attacked" in the beginning of losing this thing.  Like Life or others were pulling it away from me.  I dug my heels in and I clung.  I tried to defend it.

When defense was not enough for me to keep this thing...I attacked back. I wanted to attack those who were not allowing me to keep it.  I wanted to attack those who didn't recognize how much it all hurt.  I wanted to attack the world and I wanted to attack myself.

Attack is Not just a Physical Thing

Attack doesn't have to be physical.  In fact, it seldom is.  Attack doesn't even have to be overt.  Most of the time, attack just occurs in our head.  We think attack thoughts.  We create stories about what has happened to us and how others will pay for it.  (Not necessarily  with torture instruments obtained from the middle ages...though sometimes that may cross our minds lol)) .  We create thoughts of how they will pay for it with guilt.  We want them to feel guilty.

Our thought directed attack action  may involve doing something , saying something that will make the other feel bad for what has happened. Whenever we set out even just mentally for someone else to feel guilty we are attacking. And according to ACIM, that is no different than stringing them up on a rack or slapping them across the face.

Hmmm!

Attack is attack.

For What?

It took me a long time to realize that I was only trying to defend and protect this image of myself I had in this role.  Then I realized  this image was not worth defending, never mind attacking over.

What was I trying to save with my defense and attack mode?  How was I trying to save it?

I was trying to save ego...because ego was heavily invested in this role.  Ego felt separated and alone...like it was out in the big bad world fighting on its own...and it attacked to protect itself. It actually looked for reasons to defend and attack. For what?

Recognize what does not matter, and if your brothers ask you for something "outrageous", do it because it does not matter. ACIM:T: Chapter 12: III: 4:1

The whole time I did not recognize that what I was fighting for was not something that mattered. There never was any need for defense and attack...there never is.  Defense and attack come from the ego and the ego doesn't matter. It is not worth defending or attacking for.
When we attack others, we are actually attacking ourselves.

To identify with the ego is to attack yourself and make yourself poor. ACIM:T: Chapter 12:III:6:1

So people with egos will do things, say things our egos do not like.  The more we are identified with our egos the more those things will rattle us and make us want to attack back. But it is just the ego that wants to attack...not who you really are. Ego wants drama and chaos. Who you really are wants peace.


Don't attack! Be quiet instead.

Learn to be quiet in the midst of turmoil, for quietness is the end of strife and this is the journey to peace. Chapter 12: II:5:5


ACIM (2007) A Course in Miracles: Combined volume. Foundations For Inner Peace

The Mother of All Things

Thus it is that the Tao produces (all things), nourishes them, brings them to their full growth, nurses them, completes them, matures them, and overspreads them.



Verse 50

For there is in him no place of death?

I found this chapter/verse a bit tricky.  It speaks to how man lives in the present life time he is in, alluding to reincarnation?

 Three out of every ten men minster to living the good life for themselves, while  three out of every ten ministers to death ( focuses on death, dies young?).  Another three out of the ten may aspire to live but tend( focus on ) to death instead  of living because they are constantly trying to extend their lives in fear of death. One percent of men are able to manage their life successfully and are safe in the forms they are in, safe from  weapons or wild animals like the horn of the rhinoceros.  Why?  Because they live fully the life they were given without focusing on death.

Is he basically saying how the fear of death diminishes the quality of our lives?

Verse 51

Here Lao Tzu speaks to The mysterious operation. All things, all things are created and helped to grow to maturity through the Tao. They are brought into certain circumstances and manifestations and  because of that they honour its "outflowing operation".   All things honour the Tao, not because it was ordained to be superior way but because it is simply natural to do so. The Tao does not possess these thing it creates, nor does it profess its ability to do so, nor does it control them.  It just provides the means  for them to grow to maturity. ...mysteriously.

Verse 52

The Tao is the mother of all things under the sky. Once we understand the Mother, we can anticipate what the child will be like.  Man will be free of peril if he seeks to guard the qualities of the Mother of all things, the Tao.  (Seeks to be like her).

If he keeps his mouth shut and blocks his nostrils he will be exempt from having to work hard.  (He will also be dead won't he?)  But if he keeps his mouth open in order to promote his affairs (and himself in ego ways through speech?)  he will never be safe.

Being able to see what is small is clear sightedness.  Guarding what is soft and tender (like the Mother's heart?) is the secret of strength.

Moral: Be like the Mother, be like the Tao...humble, gentle, tender.

Verse 53

Lao Tzu says here that if he ever became recognized and known or put in a position of leadership the thing he would be most afraid of is a "boastful display." Ego ( though this word is not used obviously) is the by-way of the Tao and not the Tao?  People tend to prefer the appearance of greatness and abundance, over actually having it: Court yards well kept, while fields are ill-cultivated.  Their appearances may display wealth and they may have lots of 'stuff' but they are not wealthy in the Tao.  Just the opposite.

Verse 54

I really don't like it when Legge rhymes lol

I think...and I only guess that what is meant here is that to truly know if the effect of the Tao is taking place in some one's life is to observe.  Observe to see if the plants they planted are strong enough, to  never be up torn.  (Wasn't sure how that applied to what can not be borne from enfolded arms.)  I think though he did mean if a man follows the Tao his sons will bring him sacrifices. 

If we seek to nurture the Tao within ourselves, it will become true to us. And going within to the Tao will lead to blessing in the world around the faithful.  The effects of the Tao, when nurtured, will be seen in the person, the family, the neighborhood, state and kingdom.  The effect of one's faith is wide spread.

Verse 55

Lao Tzu compares the man who follows the way as to an infant. The infant's bones though weak allow him to grasp firmly; though it knows not sex it can have an erection,  and it can cry all day long without getting hoarse.  Meaning, I believe, that despite its softness, innocence and intensity...it is endurable and  untouchable. If we can remain soft and innocent the Tao will be shown to us.  We will find Truth.  We will endure.

All "life-increasing arts" however will turn to evil for strength is false.  When things become strong they become old which is the opposite of the infantile nature of the Tao.  Whatever is contrary to the Tao will end.

Verse 56

He who knows the Tao does not (care to) speak (about it); he who is (ever ready) to speak about it does not know it.

The Tao can not be explained with words or concepts.  It is beyond conceptual knowledge or understanding.

The Mysterious Agreement is what is expressed when one knows the Tao.  The person who truly knows teh Tao doesn't speak about it (what's with holding the mouth and nostrils closed???) , he will not appear sharp, or bright, and be just as obscure as everyone else.  He will be humble and not stand out thus making him noble to heaven.  He will at teh same time be falling between familiarity and distance, between  profit and injury from others; and between nobility and "meanness' on earth.  He who professes to know the Tao mysteriously agrees to be mediocre????


Verse 57

Even though a state can be run by corrective measures and weapons of war it, freedom and ownership only come from doing nothing of purpose.  Lao Tzu argues this is true by saying that if there is too much corrective force poverty increases; and the more striving to regain profit, the more chaotic things become.  It also leads to more craftiness among men and more thieves and robbers.

"I will do nothing (of purpose) and the people will be transformed of themselves; I will be fond of keeping still, and the people will of themselves become correct.  I will take no trouble about it, and the people themselves become rich.  I will manifest no ambition, and the people will of themselves attain to the primitive simplicity."

More or less, we need to let the people rule themselves.

Add on....May 19, 2021: Thinking of how the line from Suzuki's Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind applies here, To give your sheep or cow a large spacious meadow is the way to control him. page 13

Verse 58

The above is reinforced here.  The less a government meddles, the best it is for the people.

Happiness and misery go together.  We must dispense with correction because it can become distortion, and the good in it can turn to evil.

The sage is like a square that cuts no one with its angles; a corner that injures no one with its sharpness.

He is straightforward and honest but allows himself no license to be.  He is bright but does not dazzle.


Hmmm!  I have a hard time with the rhyming and with the input of brackets which I think are Legge's interpretations not what Lao Tzu actually  had written,

All is well.

James Legge (1895) https://www.sacred-texts.com/tao/taote.htm

First Chair

Had another moment today.  Inspired me to write this.  I am not judging it or labelling it...it just is. :)  Came out here, so it stays here.

First Chair

I sit in the center of this divinely guided orchestra.
I take a breath in anticipation as I settle into my chair.
Silent introductory notes from slow moving clouds
pass so easily, so purposefully
over the spacious blue back drop of this stage. 
 I look up at the magnificent trees  that surround me,
towering over my puny presence
making me feel so small
with their absolute greatness.
They hold their beautiful and varied instruments
up toward the sky,
their  long flexible limbs,
offering them to some invisible conductor
I have yet to know.


I feel the music of crackling wind
as Poplar, maple  and birch  bow towards me
and I exhale.
I watch in awe 
as the wind section swoops and lifts,
releases and pulls back ,
expands and retracts
so joyfully, so effortlessly, so harmoniously
and so obediently
to every wave of a baton I cannot see.
They play and play and play
the most amazing music for me, for all
for no other reason than to become one
 with the perfection of chord and moment.
....I listen and I hear.

Then there is nothing.
There is pause and stillness
as the world awaits my performance.
I am meant to play too?

I realize I  too am holding
an instrument in my arms
one I cannot see or feel,
but there just the same.
Feeling guided by the presence
of the magnificent expressions of Life
that surround me...
I awkwardly  pick up the violin
 I do not "know" how to play
and place it beneath my chin.
I take the bow Life has given me
and I move it across the strings.
I close my eyes.


I am suddenly being guided by a conductor
I cannot see.
I breathe in;
I breathe out
and I play.
I add the exquisite notes
of my breath,
of my heart beat
to the music being played around me.
I play and I play and I play,
going home to the beautiful symphony
I help to create by simply being.

Perfect music,
perfect blended harmony is released
as the world and I
 play along together.
I am first chair.
I am  second.
I am wind
and I am string.
I am no-thing
and I am  everything.
I am musician
and I am
conductor.
I am the notes that
drop like tiny tree seeds
to the earth around me.
I am silence.
I am a player in this orchestra of Life
simply because ...
I am.
Dale-Lyn 2019

All is well.

Time cannot deliver spiritual awakening

Don't give yourself time...don't look to the future for spiritual awakening so that the main focus of your life becomes the present moment...completely let go of the idea of future especially in reference to spiritual awakening....don't look to time to deliver spiritual awakening.  Time can not deliver.
-Eckhart Tolle


Most times I feel like I am far from "evolved".  Keep thinking my enlightenment is "up there somewhere" and that I have yet to reach it.

But there are these few surprising moments when I am looking at the world around me and I am completely mesmerized.  I look up at the  trees, for example, and I don't see the word "tree" that simply triggers memory banks to release collected conceptual data gathered over my life time about trees.  I see the trees in a whole new light.  I see how absolutely magnificent they are in their service to the planet and I just feel something very intense.  It is weird and I can't really explain it well here but I know at those moments I am present.

It doesn't happen often.  I still spend an awful lot of time in my head but more and more I am connecting to that alert stillness that is me.  I do want to build up this "power of presence" .  The only time to do that.. is now.  :)

All is well in my world

Eckhart Tolle (April, 2019) Growing Happiness. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rC_lrJ7LqhE

Missing Something

Not only does time flow unhindered, but correspondingly our lives too keep moving onward all the time.  If something goes wrong, we cannot turn back time and try again.
-Dalai Lama

Missing Certain Things

I miss certain things that once filled my life with purpose, connection, meaning and a bit of drama. Does that mean I miss the 'doing'? Does that mean I miss the drama?  Does that mean I miss ego being in charge lol?  I don't know.  Maybe part of me does.

Just one reminder today...it being the final day of the year for this thing I miss... left me feeling very sad.  Ego jumped out of the closet I had it stuffed in and started trying to stir up drama, including some self pity and a sense of grievance. Man...it doesn't take long, in the non-evolved mind, for ego to take the reins, does it? 

I have been supressing and repressing grief over a perceived loss because I just had too many other bigger things to deal with.  Until I  acknowledge it, make space for it and eventually  release this grief I will be filled with tender spots that easily get jabbed and poked.

The Nature of Things

I have to acknowledge and accept that I  miss and it is okay to miss something.  Then I have to step back clearly and look  at the nature of "things".  Things come and go into our lives and non of them are permanent.  They will go just as quickly as they will come.  And it is all okay. 

Part of Who We Are?

If a 'thing', a job, some sense of achievement, some recognition,  a feeling of belonging, or relationships enter our lives when we are very unconscious ( dominated by our ego/monkey minds) we may get attached to those things  and see them as a part of us...we may not be so willing to simply let them pass through. They too often become like  Band-Aids, covering our wounds of "less than" and "unworthiness" so we feel better about ourselves.   Or at least we think we look better when all yucky draining things are hidden away. As it was in my case.

We cling to them so much, to hide our perceived imperfections  and brokenness, that they  grow into the skin we wear and mistakenly we assume they are a part of us.  When they are taken off... either by slow deliberate choice or pulled off roughly by someone or something else...it  stings.  In fact, it can even hurt like hell. We feel like a part of us has been stripped away with the Band-Aid.

Grief

We then may become identified with that pain. We hold onto it and nurture it just so we don't have to deal with its outcries. And if one pokes at the now open and tender  wound where the pain sits  before mind is healed...it hurts.  Past impressions, feelings, connections gets stirred up. We focus on "loss" and miss what we have lost. We feel less than because we have lost.  We may feel cheated. A whole gamete of emotions may come to the surface. this is what happened in my case.

That is okay.  This is just grief and grief will pass if we allow it to just flow through us.

Though the thing I lost is not "a living breathing loved one"...it was something I identified as a part of me. So I do feel grief. In stead of allowing it to just be and to pass through...I have somehow resisted grieving the loss of this thing and when I am reminded of it, I still feel the sting. It is still within me.

I am still lost in some form of identification with this thing that is no longer a part of my life...or at least my ego is.  And ego wants me to get lost in the pain of losing it again and again, instead of healing.  It knows that healing is a healing of the mind.  And if the mind heals...ego will no longer be able to survive....because ego is just an entity our minds have made up.

 So it likes when the old unhealed wounds get poked. It likes it when I don't allow the grieving and thus the healing to complete its cycle.

Hmmm!

A Lesson Here

It is all good. There is a lesson here. :)

When we feel this type of grief ....and I am not equating it to the loss of a loved one even though the grieving process is required in both...we need to just allow it to pass through us.  By all means grieve your losses...don't let them fester inside like untreated infections that constantly get poked stirring up pain.  Just grieve the loss of what you believed at one point was an important part of your life (even when you later realize it wasn't).  You need to release the emotional energy that came with the perception of loss. Grieve the loss.  Let it all pass through you.

And it will pass.  Even more important, if we commit to it, the mind will heal.  When the mind heals we will realize that we never really lost  anything that is truly important.  Who we really are has been untouched by the loss or the pain that followed. It just is.

At some point in our lives we will realize that we are okay with these things that come into our lives and we are okay without them.

Our lives keep moving onward all the time. There is no going back, only forward.

All is well.

Never in Control Anyway

You must learn to let go. Release the stress.  You were never in control anyway.
Steve Maraboli

Tagged by a less than ' self reflecting' and 'spiritually centered'  site again.  :) This usually means my readership is way down.  Which is probably a good thing considering the semi personal story I relayed over the last few entries.  I did not want to make any one, especially those connected with the story, uncomfortable. So I was going to delete it all but now seeing how no one, other than those who want a little more than what I have to offer here, are clicking on...it is okay. 

I do like expressing what is going on in "my life' ( let me rephrase that: what life is expressing in me and around me). Putting it down in words is very therapeutic, in more ways than one..  I am a writer after all.  I like having 'observations' on screen or paper a literal distance away from me.  It reminds me that it is exactly that: a distance away from who I really am.  I can then look at it objectively. As I progress through my own learning, my own healing and my own evolving...the story is less and less important.  It is something I know isn't me and any 'me' that is overly involved in it is not the me I really am.

So every now and again I may just spit a bit of real life drama on the page.  It is your choice whether or not you read it.

Anyway...to finish off this "story"...to take you from climax to resolution lol... I will relay that we are no further ahead.  Even after doing whatever was in our power, pleading with authorities and playing real hard ball in an attempt to preserve a life that is very much at risk...we are no further ahead. 

The only choice we have now is to let go lovingly and respectfully of that which was never ours.  We have to let Life do as Life does...let the consequences be what they will. This will be easier for me than it will be for D. Sigh... Big pathetic sigh!!!!

All is well in my world.

The Pure Mind

The intrinsic nature of the mind is pure; the disturbing emotions that afflict it are only temporary flaws.
-Dalai Lama

I apologize for expressing so much personal information...so much "me" and "my"  and "mine".  I do not do it to honor the ego by venting and getting lost in drama ( well maybe I do a bit lol...still have some evolving to do).  My main intention is to express the possibility of getting to the pure mind no matter what pops up in front of it.

Life offers all of us wonderful opportunities to learn through the challenges placed in front of us.  Some of those things are charged with emotional energy. The real life example I use of dealing with a life threatening addiction in another...provides such a situation. So I share it.


The Lesson Learned:

The pure  mind may get hidden beneath a veil of emotional fog but it is still there.  Fogs lift...eventually. Emotions, if not denied, resisted, suppressed, repressed...will lift with the fog.  They are only temporary flaws.  The pure mind is always there waiting for us to tap into it. 

Remember that...no matter what life challenge you seem to be dealing with.  Beneath it is all that really matters. You can always choose this peace rather than the drama the ego mind attempts to paint around the circumstances you are encountering.

All is well in my world.

Learning from the hard stuff

Detaching with love means letting someone  be who they are while protecting yourself from their consequences.
-Counselling Recovery Quote

"Breaking Bad"

I am so tired!!!  In the last three days I slept less than 8 hours in total.  I have been co-starring, it seems, in a couple of awful episodes from "Breaking Bad".  Major stuff has been going on around here...if not in actuality at least in our minds.  The combined family cortisol level is probably through the roof.

Last evening we were made aware of how "stressed" we all were. Our stress comes with a sense of helplessness and frustration over dealing with an addict's behaviour, concerned for him and for our own protection.  Those impressions I have had in my head about some of the things that has happened in the past, around his addiction, keep slapping me in the face. I sometimes react to the present moment as if the past is happening all over again.

Reacting or Responding

Last night, the circumstances were so beautifully laid out to make it seem that someone was going to burn this house down  like D.'s got burnt down four years ago because of the addict's involvement with certain others. (I notice I am calling him "the addict" as a means to disentangle and detach from the personal pain of this :( )

A strange car, with the prodigal son in it, shows up at one One'clock in the morning. It pulls in so quietly.(The dogs don't even bark...my daughter just happened to be looking out the window)   Individuals get out and pull a box of old clothing, papers and junk from the back of the trunk while the addict comes in the house (to distract?) They then pull out a gas tank and three of them hover around the box with what we discovered later had these very flammable things in it. (I couldn't see clearly through the window ...so I wasn't sure until later what it was they were removing)...

But even without exactly knowing what it was... something snapped in me, "They are trying to burn the house down." was the thought that came to mind.  Whether it was ego triggering old impressions or The Wise Self warning me, I will never know. But I reacted and quick!

A Bit Stupid

My emergency hormones took over.  I went flying out into the driveway to protect my family, facing individuals that could have been very dangerous. I screamed at them to get out of my yard as 'our charge' walked past me yelling at me before getting in the car  with them again.  I told them I was going to call the police. They didn't budge. My daughter got up and started screaming at them to leave (with a few swear words in there). One of them shouted calmly  that they were just taking care of him.   Then D. ran  out to the driveway to scream some more.  It wasn't until then that they said they were leaving peacefully. All the while not one of us had the sense to grab our phones so we could actually call the police.

They left the box and the gas jug at the end of the driveway. We all stood out around the box for a good hour trying to figure out what was going on.  We put on gloves and went through the box...very carefully discovering that it was stuff from his pre hospital place where we found him that  day before admission. Where and how they got that we will never know. Of course, much of that stuff was items he confiscated from others.

Was there a need to defend and attack?

The big question was:What was up with the gas can?  I still strongly feel that the intention was to set a fire but I didn't want to worry the others so I tried to think of other reasons for them coming late at night to drop off that stuff in our yard. It didn't make any sense.  It may have been just a gesture of taking care of him by returning his items? Maybe the gas can was one of his items? (Amongst all the items left behind when he was admitted...why did they bring this selected bit junk and a gas can?)  My guess is, they were going to set a fire as a warning ?

Or maybe it was completely innocent...(that's not sitting well with me though...) I don't know.

If it was innocent, why would the Universe choreograph it so beautifully...with me kind of  worrying about someone coming to burn us down because of him  (for years actually), getting that intense  feeling last night that is was happening and my 'inspired'  reaction only to find that what they removed from the car was actually  what was needed to set a perfect fire.

I will never know if there was actually a need to defend and attack the way I did.  Is there ever really a need?

Anyway...I am hyper vigilant now and kind of beating myself up for putting my desire to help someone I couldn't help over my family's safety. I put them at risk and I didn't do him a lick of good.

Hopefully, the police will look into this.

So what did I learn?

• To listen to those gut feelings that are so intense
• but to also be aware that there may be a fuzzy line between ego's desire for us to react to something it created out of a fear based thought that was already there,  and  Spirit's warning to respond to something that is actually a threat.
• Sometimes things are not always as they appear.  There may have been a legitimate reason for that set up...no matter how suspicious it seems
• Reacting like I did with the screaming was not a clear headed reaction.  I could have put myself  and others at risk.  It would have been better to use those three B's lol...Step back and view the situation clearly, Breathe ( take a few good deep breaths) and then Begin again. I could have been better able to determine what was actually going on, if I did that.
• Defence and attack are never helpful.  Setting protective boundaries are okay but resorting to violence uncool
• I really don't like it when I lose my cool, when I lose myself in a situation. It is much better to handle "everything" calmly
• Trust Life instead of fearfully worrying and wondering when bad things are going to happen.  Even if it likely that they could happen...right now they aren't!
• It is time to let go of that which I have no control over...I can do it lovingly and respectfully.  Last night I was neither but I will try better from now on.

All is well in my world

But it feels like a big deal....

I just feel the only power I have is setting a good example.
Geri Halliwell

Sigh...saying "it is no big deal" , I am discovering, is a heck of a lot different than "feeling" like it is no big deal.  My 'charge' made his choice this morning as I stood in the doorway pleading with him.  He turned and walked away from the little I could offer him. And it felt like a "very big deal."

I can stay calm and centered in the most trying of situations.  Yesterday, for example, D. had an accident taking the lawn tractor off the back of the truck, sustaining an injury that could have used at least a half dozen sutures. He came to the door bleeding heavily over everything.  His shoes were literally full of blood.  I saw the amount of bleeding and instead of panicking,  I zipped into presence without even so much as a conscious breath.  I calmly assessed and  organized the emergency treatment and within ten minutes everything was stopped and cleaned up  without a trace of blood anywhere. (He refused to go for sutures or a tetanus  so we may have to deal with an infection in the future which is another story lol.  [And it is all story :)])

I didn't stay calm this morning, however.  Even though I have been conceptualizing the possibility of this, I felt like someone punched me in the stomach and my mind just pulled me into story so fast.  "He is going to die.  He is choosing death.  Why is he doing this to himself...to all of us who sat by his bedside for three months? Poor him, poor D. and poor 'me.'" I went from 'poor me' to 'bad me' very quickly. " I didn't do enough.  I didn't say the right thing.  I didn't do the right thing.  I shoulda...We could of...etc etc etc"  I slipped away from calm presence and I reacted.

Watching addiction take those I care about away is an ego trigger for me.  I have watched it so many times, and it doesn't get easier. I try to fix it .  I try to control it.  I realize I can't. I lose it.  Sometimes I watch as the people I love come back from it and sometimes I watch as they don't. And it has absolutely nothing to do with me!

I feel more  powerless and more  helpless to addiction than I do to anything else in 'my' life, I think.  Even when my body is bent over, when the chest pain is taking my breath away I still feel I have some control or at least more than I do here.

  I guess addiction is one of my greatest teachers. That is why it keeps showing up in my life through other people.  So I can watch it maybe, observe it...Man...that sound so crazy.  As if I am saying everyone suffers that tremendous strangling effect just to teach me something.  That is not what I mean.

I just mean I am meant to observe it and learn from it...for whatever reason.  What am I learning?  That I know absolutely nothing when it comes to witnessing this level of unconsciousness in others.  I don't know what to say.  I don't know what to do.  I do not know what is the best approach and do not know what is the worse.  I am no help and thankfully I am no hindrance to recovering the life of the addicted. I must do as I tell them they must do...surrender to it and leave it all up to God.  I have to get out of the way.

Hmmm!  I pray and I hope.  That is all I an do besides work on my own consciousness.  If I can attain and maintain sober, substance or habitual behavior free peace in my own life, my presence, my example will be the greatest thing  I can offer to those so inflicted.

All is well.

Learned or Learnt

What is up with that?  I always say learned...I am sure I was taught to do so somewhere...but spell check always corrects me.  Learnt is British and possibly Canadian, isn't it?   Learned is American?  So why doesn't spell check not let me use it lol without a fuss?

No Big Deal

Not everything is a big deal...chill!
-unknown

A Personal Example of Letting Go

Have a lot to deal with lately. A little stressed lol.  Feel the tightness of that stress in my core and of course, now in my hip...radiating down my knee and up to my lower back. 

A Little Injury

I pulled a muscle and not during yoga but during a reactive  intent to forcibly remove a 80-90 pound dog from my sleeping space. 

She sleeps right where I put my lower legs and feet, innocently pushing both out of alignment during the night.   I often find myself awakened and pushing up against her weight so I can realign myself...often unsuccessfully. No big deal for one or two nights but after months of this, something happens to those muscles. Some muscles will shorten and some will weaken. 

A bear showed up outside my window the other night and she jumped up onto my other leg to get a better look out the window, consequently pinning it down into an awkward position.  The shock and pain of that led to me lifting my unpinned hip up too quickly to push her off the other leg.  Something popped in my hip and I have been experiencing pain ever since. ...and now I have to really watch myself during yoga. ... at a time when I should be ready to go.

No big deal!

A Delay in Beginning a New Adventure

I can stretch this out with yoga! But I can't teach yoga until it is healed.

Been trying to isolate the muscle or even the muscle group in my mind so I know how to handle it but still can't quite figure it out.  Likely an abductor and internal rotator ...so I am thinking Gluteus Medius or  the TFL.  But then I get pain in the upper groin from time to time so I am thinking Pectineus or Adductor Brevis. The pain in my knee tells me that I really did a number on myself...and now the whole body seems to be out of alignment to compensate for the injury and weak muscles that led to it. Could be an extensor issue...a ham even though it does not feel like a hamstring injury but it would explain the knee. More likely the Sartorius muscle (a hip flexor, abductor and external rotator)  which has its attachment below the medial knee right where it hurts on me. Hmm!  The popping I get tells me it could also be an impingement. 

Anyway...I don't know what to do to relax the muscles that need rest because I don't know which ones they are nor do I know what muscles to work on strengthening because I don't know which ones are weak.  It puts my yoga teaching out of the picture for a while. On a brighter note, it is a wonderful opportunity to learn about the consequences of misalignment , weakened muscles and muscles in general so I can prevent injury in myself again and most importantly in my students.  I learned a lot of wonderful stuff about hips in the last few days that I can take into practice and into my studio.

No big deal!

Renovations that Never Seem to End

 The renovations down stairs, that I have admittedly been unconsciously stressing over, I find out coincidentally will not be ready for another three weeks thus adding to cost and inconvenience and a delay on any return of investment. On a brighter note, it is also giving me time to figure out and to heal from the injury. I am in the process of leaning up against the wall of stress the renovations provide and letting go into it.  What will be will be. It is what it is. It will get done when it gets done.

 In the long run, no big deal!

Financial Woes?

My money stress has been compounded by the fact that a check that was to be deposited 6 weeks ago into my account as part of my retirement allowance, has somehow been lost.  I was hoping to have a return on that by now to help with finances but instead I have been spending weeks encouraging others to look for it.  Worse case scenario it will be stopped and a new one issued...sigh!  I found a great learning opportunity for gentle, patient and centered confrontation in all my dealings with the bank.  Mind you, I am not saying I have not slipped from presence to anger and reaction during any of these confrontations. lol

No big deal!

Parenting Concerns

I have children who are unwell and one I haven't seen in weeks and who I miss so much! I remind myself that this is their life and I must let go. I make it clearly known that I am here for them and I let go.  I lean up against another wall and I fall through into acceptance.

No big deal!

Life or Death; Safety or Danger

I am face to face with major life threatening addiction in another loved one again and somehow I am in a position where I am responsible for his welfare....I honestly have no idea how to handle this! I want to remain open, loving, compassionate, encouraging and nonjudgmental without getting  overly neurotic or protective considering how fatal it could prove to be.  I want to provide a safe environment for recovery while we wait for rehab. Yet I am not even sure how serious he is about his recovery. I find myself in a situation where I feel I am responsible for protecting him from his own choices and at the same time protecting others from his addictive behaviours.  Some of those past addictive behaviours are now mental impressions that wake me up at night and I find myself worrying about what could happen here.

Wow! My core really tightens up when I think of that and that hip ...well those muscles are not relaxing, let me tell ya! lol.

But, I hear from that quiet space within me, that in this moment it is no big deal!  At this moment he is either straight or he is not...that is all that matters.  What he does in the next moment I have no control over. If he is still straight he stays and if he isn't, he doesn't.  If he is serious about recovery he is welcomed with open arms and if he isn't, he won't want to stay because of my limits.  It will be his choice and really nothing to do with me except adhering to my own limits. I want him to stay; I want him to recover. I will do whatever I can within my very limited power to encourage, support and assist in that recovery.  I tell him that but I also tell him that I have little  power here other than the power to set limits, talk, help make plans that protect him and my other loved ones. I remind him that I also have others to protect.

No big deal!

Man...it does help to say those words, to lean into the stress and fall through into the arms of what really matters.  Life matters, Stillness matters.  Peace matters.  Spirit/God/Self Consciousness/ awareness/The way...matters!!  Love matters!

All else is No Big Deal!

All is well in my world!

To know a bird by the name and image, is not to know the bird at all.

me

The Often Overlooked Dimension of Being...

Go to the dimension within that is timeless and formless-that dimension of consciousness where you step back from thinking and realize beyond all the doing, the successes and failures and beyond all the conditions and situations of your life....there is something else in you that is constantly overlooked.
-Eckhart Tolle (may not be written exactly as said :))


Circumstances keep doing what they do.  :) Things happen, right? The bank may lose my $10,000 cheque which is all I have for future security; people may not behave the way I want them to;  I may sustain a hip injury right before I am about to embark on a teaching yoga adventure....but... but  I still am. I still am.  Mind wants me to get lost in this drama...but I don't have to.  Who I really am is beyond all the thinking, the doing, the successes, the failures, the conditions, and situations.  When I can tap in to that "being", none of this other stuff really matters. Hmmm!

 

 

I Still Am

 

Life may knock 'me 'down, as it blows through, again and again and again

...but I still am.

I may appear bruised and weathered by the storms, shaky and unsteady as I struggle to find balance

....but I still am.

'My' body may pop and crackle with age as its natural decay shows up in 'my' bones and on 'my' skin

....but I still am.

Bodily organs may act up making 'me' lose 'my' ability to do the things I once took for granted

...but I still am.

Careers that once filled 'me' with purpose and recognition  may be taken away by circumstance  

...but I still am.

The "stuff" that once filled 'my' surroundings, giving 'me' a sense of identity  and validation may decay and  rust away

...but I still am.

Relationships may dissolve; conflicts may arise; the pain of loss may present itself as I make 'my' way through the crowds of humanity

...but I still am.

The walls that once protected 'me' may crumble and fall to the ground leaving nothing but dust

...but I still am.

I may forget what is within 'me' and stray away from home, getting lost and confused

...but I still am.

 

Regardless of what happens in the foreground of 'my' Life, be it beautiful or be  it ugly,

...I still am.

Regardless if I can see it or not, beneath the heavy veil of thinking, feeling and doing,

...I still am.

Whether I succeed in 'my' doing or fail; whether I accomplish and achieve or lose it all,

...I still I am.

I still am, not because "I think," but  because....

I am.

Dale-Lyn June/2019

 



My Little Apple Tree

If peace can have a scent, it takes me to your side

where leaf is green and flowers bloom and bees so happily abide.

You stand so like an angel with branches  stretched like wings  toward the sky

and wanting Heaven too, I lean against your steady bark and quietly I sigh.

I am lost in the sweet presence that makes the blossoms escape from your tiny tips

and I close my eyes and feel It as "thank you" slips from my lips.

You teach me what I need to know without useless word or thought;

You show me what I am and you show me what I'm not.

I breathe you in and when I do I breathe in all that I could ever be.

Somehow I find the truth I seek, in you,
my little apple tree. 

-Me...Dale-Lyn (Pen) (May 30, 2018)

 

Felt compelled to repeat this  entry from June of last year.  My bad...haven't been shooting and the blossoms are already starting to go.  I will go out today.  :)

 

If you want to experience Life for a bit rather than thinking about it...slip outside to a fruit tree in blossom and just stand in front of it long enough to  soak up the beauty of it (without uttering one word in your head or from your mouth!)  Amazing!

 

All is well!

 

More Than a Little Mad

It is possible to divide every kind of happiness and suffering into two main categories: mental and physical.  Of the two, it is the mind that exerts the greatest influence on most of us.
-Dalai Lama

There is a reason for my madness. :) I am speaking about the madness of me constantly  writing  about controlling the mind  and the madness that exists in most of our minds anyway. 

It may seem a little mad, but I keep speaking to the need to tame our monkey minds because it is the focus of my attention these days.  I see this suggestion everywhere...in the books I read, the quote pages I open up to and the things I flick on the screen.  There is a reason why I am writing this...I feel compelled to and possibly a little "pushed" to. 

More than a Little Crazy

And yes I believe we are all mad.

Say what crazy lady? Speak for yourself.

I am speaking for my self and when I speak for myself, I am learning, I speak for everyone.

Yes, the majority of us are a bit crazy. Think about it.  Most of us live in our heads instead of in our bodies.  We live in a mental construct of past and future instead of  in the present moment.  We choose thinking over living. Of the 60,000 thoughts we supposedly think a day, 80 % of them are negative and 90 % of them are repetitive.  We are living a loop recording that is in our heads rather than experiencing the beauty that is Life occurring in us and around us right now.  We have been given this wonderful opportunity on this amazing planet to "experience" and most of us are forgoing the actual experiencing for some drama our ego minds have made up.  We are habitually fighting off what is and waiting for a time that doesn't truly exist to make it all better. We are actually choosing to stay stuck in suffering when we do not have to. All this is occurring in our minds! Does that not sound crazy?

One unpleasant memory or anxious thought after another and you are missing the present moment.  ...What kind of person does this state of consciousness produce?(Tolle)

Our minds are the source of our suffering and our taming them is the solution.  That simple.

Why do we need to tame them?

We need to tame them so we can transcend them and get beyond their chatter to the quiet stillness that is us. We tame them so we get beyond "thinking" about living to actually living.
We tame them so we can become aware of our madness, and then aware of the perfect sanity of the true Self hidden in the background by all our insane mental activity.  Slow the mental activity and ...voila!... we find our Self.  We become "aware" of who we are and what Life truly is.

Would it not make sense then...to choose sanity over madness, to choose peace over suffering?  Would it not make sense to tame that which is keeping us from peace and joy and Love?

Just saying.  But what do I know?  You need to discover this for yourself.

All is well.


Eckhart Tolle (2014) Meditation: Eckhart Tolle. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foU1qgOdtwg