A Ship in  harbour is safe-but that is not what ships are built for.
John A Shedd

To stay safe or sail....

I realized something yesterday.  I,in my fatigue(both the physical and mental kind) have tied myself to the harbour. I have been trying to tie my children there with me.  My main priority in life has become about keeping everyone "safe".  

I do not push myself to do anything.  I found the comfort zone of my physicality where I have the least symptoms and I stay there.  I find the comfort zone of thought and I try to stay there. 

I expect others to dock beside me simply because it is easier on me...allows me to stay docked  I do not challenge myself at all...have become reclusive and withdrawn...bored.  I do not want others to challenge my safe zone with their need to get out and beyond...to complicate my thinking with worry and demand.

What an awful thing to expect of others...what an awful thing to expect of myself.  We were not meant to play it safe...to hide...to numb.  We were meant to sail, full mast, into the oceans of our lives.  I need to let others sail regardless of the challenges and the risks.  I need to sail as well.  I would rather live life fully for a short time than live life safely and limited for a long time.

All is well in my world.