Who is this Gentle Nurse?

 

Who is This Gentle Nurse?

 

Who is this gentle nurse,

who slips into the sick room

in the darkened corners of my mind,

when all is quiet and still?

 

Illuminated by the soft light of her lamp,

she shuffles by on

tiny slippered feet,

on feathers that do not make a sound.

 

With determined purpose

she goes from bed to bed,

offering  her gentle administrations

with selfless love.

 

She compassionately wipes the fevered

brow of fearful thoughts,

cooling the raging temperatures

until there is no more perspiration or chills,

just quiet breath and sleep.

 

She whispers soothing words of encouragement

to worry,

stopping the trembling with a soft hand on its shoulder,

preventing anxiety from taking over.

 

She skillfully runs a line on another desperate patient,

offering sweet replacement to anemic thoughts

of scarcity and doubt,

filling the empty spaces of hungry vessels

with sure  knowledge of  His abundance.

 

She gives medicine to the mediocre

in the form of 

life enhancing corrections,

that are offered in little white paper cups.

 

Providing dignity and grace

she  gently rolls over those

who are still clinging to the past.

Using soapy, cleansing clothes

of forgiveness

 she washes away

their shame and guilt.

 

 

The heads of those who are thirsty for more

are lifted

and she places glasses of cool, quenching water

to their parched lips.

 

She calms those who are striking out,

 at the shadows of the night

as they spit out their anger and blame,

with her sweet reassuring voice.

 

Windows are opened,

so fresh breezes can blow through

to comfort and soothe,

to give life back to the dying.

 

The stench of brokenness is lifted from the room.

 

as she works tirelessly,

effortlessly

and lovingly

throughout the night.

 

When the morning hours come

and the sun is casting glorious golden light

in  on the once weary faces of her charges

it is seen that all traces of sickness

  have been washed away.

All suffering

has disappeared along

with the shadows of the night.

 

All there is left in this room is peace

encased in His precious golden light.

 

Though no longer needed,

she will remain where she is,

where she always was,

a reminder of His Presence.

 

Who is this gentle nurse

Who has been with us for so long

And whom we  still can not quite see?

 

Truth...

I am told,

by the healed voice within me,

her name is...

Truth.

 

Dale-Lyn August,2011

The inevitable and bumpy journey to "I am"

There is only one thing better than "I am bad" or "I am good" and that is ''I am".
-Adyashanti, Welcome to Awakening

Enlightenment doesn't always feel good!

Many of us have this 'idea' that enlightenment is supposed to make us feel good about ourselves.  We assume it will be like one of those ego quests we go on, the kind I wrote about in the previous blog: "I will feel good when I wake up, find God and discover who I truly am."

I don't know about the rest of you but I am not having a whole lot of fun right now.  I am not feeling good! I am a mess and I am not even there yet. What will I be like when I do get there and recognize who I truly am?  I have a feeling that the closer I get, the less fun it will be? 

Enlightenment, I am discovering the hard way, isn't going to make me feel good about myself. It is going to make me realize just how insignificant this idea of 'feeling good' is and most awkwardly,  how insignificant this 'me' is.  Feeling good about the self is just an idea. "Me' is just an idea and whatever I thought me was...is crumbling into a thousand pieces around me.

It feels awful, most of the time.  I am confused, disorientated and trying desperately to make sense of things.  It is like I am stepping off a plane in a foreign country with massive jetlag. I have some place really important to get to but I don't know how to get there.  On top of that I am trying to communicate to others that I need directions but the language I came off the plane with doesn't work here. Nothing I brought with me, works anymore.

Getting there

Still... I have to go through the activities of daily living until I figure out how to get to this place. It is like starting over. Everyone and everything is so strange all of a sudden.  I am so strange. People are looking at me like I am more than a little 'cra-cra'. lol

I want to turn around and hop right back on the plane that took me here but I know I can't.  I have come too far. I have  no choice but to make my way through the strangeness to this inevitable destination.  That's it too...the destination is inevitable. 

Adyashanti in his video Welcome to Awakening, teaches that "Enlightenment is a sealed deal. It is inevitable." At some point we are all going to have to face the truth of who we really are.  There is no escaping true Self-realization and that is the destination we are all headed in whether we know it or not. So I can't turn back even though part of me wants to.  The airplane has already left the tarmac.

So what do I do?  What do we do when we get this far and can't go back?  The lessons from ACIM tell us what we must do at this point.  We do not need to take another step. We just wait for the Destination to come to us.

 

No step remains for time to separate from its accomplishment. For now we cannot fail. Sit silently and wait upon your Father.  He has willed to come to you when you have recognized it is your will He do so. And you could have never come this far unless you saw, however dimly, that it is your will.

-ACIM-W:Part II: Intro:5:3-7

 

 

We really have to go no where.  We do not need to strive towards being good (more spiritual and enlightened) or push away from being bad (egoic and sinful).  We just need to be. And in being, everything else is irrelevant

 

Peace to my mind.  Let all my thoughts be still.

-ACIM-W:221

 

All is well in my world!

 

References:

 

ACIM

 

Adyashanti Welcome to Awakening   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjJx12H9TxM

Don't Wander Too Far

Let me not wander from the way of peace, for I am lost on other roads than this.
-ACIM-w-220:2

Why is it so freaking hard to get a little peace around here?

Probably because most of us don't even realize it is peace we are looking for.  We are searching, reaching, wanting, and waiting for something to fill us, make our dreams come true, and our lives as exciting and wonderful as all those glamorized  lives we follow on social media. We are told that in order to 'get that elusive something' we have to work hard, struggle, fight, be better than or at least as good as those we follow or creep. We need to accept chaos, destruction, disruption and a lack of harmony in order to get there but it will all be worth it in the end. We wander far and away from what we truly need and want. Achieving happiness, then, becomes a competitive struggle.

This type of happiness ain't peace!

This search for  externally derived happiness is not the way of peace and it is not what we are truly looking for. What are we wanting to gain from those external, media-sensationalized things we strive for anyway?

What do we really believe they are going to give us besides an 'idea of happiness or success'?  Ego will tell us this struggle will eventually give us everything we need...well at least what is needed to survive in this cruel world of separated individuals and never ending defense and attack. Is ego speaking the truth? 

It is true we are looking for something but that something is not out there and that something is not as temporary or fast changing as the profile pics that pop up on our screens.  It is in here...and it is unchanging, and everlasting. What we truly want  is not temporary pleasure or 'ideas' of happiness that never feel like happiness for very long. We want peace! Yet the more we travel toward external happiness, the further off the path to peace we are. We are lost on any other road.

The difference between external happiness and peace

External happiness isn't real!  It is just a two dimensional idea.  Just like the photo shopped  images we see of smiling people living perfect lives on Facebook are just tricks to get you and the provider to believe  that the struggle is worth it, ego tricks and deludes us into following its path to something we will never ever reach.

The external pursuit of happiness is just an ideal, an ego trick, a path to nowhere.  Sure when we attain one of these things ego tells us we need to be happy...we will feel pleasure, a certain happiness for a while but it will not last.  If we get the job, the car, that big house, graduate, or find our 'soul mate' we believe we are happy for a while.  That thing, however, will not last or the pleasure it provides will not last.

 Nothing in this physical world lasts.  It is subject to change, deterioration, loss and death. And when we lose it or the feeling...we will have to go on a search for some other thing further along ego's path, to something else, something better. "This didn't work but if I get this next thing I will be happy."  We  find ourselves living in a constant state of, "I will be happy when..." but like all future projections, when never arrives.

Peace, on the other hand...is a different path.  It is a path inward to the eternal,  never changing Self.  Peace is not dependent on external things.  It doesn't wax, wane or fluctuate as the things around us do.  It is constant and real. It soothes and calms.  It connects and expands us as we follow the truth of who we really are.  Is that not what we truly want?

Peace doesn't require struggle or a fight to make it.  It is effortless involving nothing but a letting go. Peace is already within us and all we have to do is let go of all the illusions and distorted ideas that have fallen like a veil over it.  Peace is here and peace is now and  we just need to wake up to it.  That simple!

There is nothing wrong with going for that job, or that purchase or that degree, recognition or person....but just know that it is not that external thing that will bring you the peace you truly want.  It is something far greater, far more permanent and everlasting that brings peace. 

Peace out trumps external happiness every time and all you have to do to discover that...is to let go of this idea that you need external happiness. You already have all you need.  You already are all you need.  You have peace, you are peace. 

Instead of wandering aimlessly on these roads that go nowhere,  go home! You will find the peace you are looking for there, where it has always been.

All is well in my world!

Not the Body or the Mind.

I am not a body.  I am free.

-ACIM-W-219:1

You are not the body, you are in. 

Do you know that?  I mean truly know that?

I think if we knew that, knew that we were so much more than confined to these physical forms we would feel the freedom ACIM, Patanjali and so many other wise masters teach about. We would realize our unbound nature...and understand that it cannot be confined to  a finite vessel anymore than space can be confined in a map or the ocean confined in a glass of water. How do you put 'physical limits' around something so immense?

Yet so many of us feel trapped by these layers of muscle and bone that we call our bodies. We believe we began when the body took that first breath of air and that we end when it takes its last. We believe that who we are ...are these physical forms with marked expiration dates.... nothing more.  Because we see, hear, smell, taste and feel with the body's senses we believe our experience through it is all there is.  How can that be? 

You are not the mind that controls the body

Our sense are always bringing us things that keep changing and they are deluding us into believing it is all real. It is not the body that truly limits us then...but the mind. We prepare for that expiration the moment we perceive that these bodies and minds are limited by time and space.  If the bodies are limited, and we are the body, than we are limited too.

The notion of time and space is just a mental construct, an idea ...not reality.  If time and space are not real how can we be confined to these forms and limited by them?

Yoga can help to take us to this understanding.

Sweet and bitter, hot and cold, sun and earth, the whole objective universe of matter and energy does not exists independent of the mind  and senses. Even time and space are nothing but the power of the mind. There is nothing to limit man in time and space if there is no mind.  All limitations and barriers disappear with the disappearance of the mind. - (Swami Vishnu-Devananda; 1988, page 257)

If we can put aside our over identification with body or at least be willing to see beyond it, we will become aware of these delusions created by mind and we will sense an awareness, a quiet, still awareness that exists beneath it all that doesn't change like our sensory information does.  That awareness, that consciousness is who we are and it cannot be limited by physicality or by time, space or mind.

When the mind is still, there is no idea of time and space, which means there is no external consciousness except an awareness of self where there is no change. ( page 277)

You are not your body and you are not your mind.

Mind cannot exist independent of time.  Nor can space and time exist independent of mind. Mind, time and space are like the three points of a triangle. - Swami Vishnu-devananda; 1988;page277

And how do we live outside the triangle? How do we find this never changing Self that is not limited by body, mind or this idea of time and space?  We 'Be still" ....

Be still, my mind, and think a moment upon this.- ACIM-W-219:1

All is well

References:

ACIM

Swami Vishnu-devananda (1988) The complete Illustrated Book of Yoga. New York: Three Rivers Press

Sleepless

And how but through salvation can I find the Self to whom my thanks are due?
-ACIM-W-217:3

It is five in the morning and I have been up for a while.  A little life circumstance, a changing body and a whole lot of mess around me with the slow DIY my daughter and I are partaking in, goes a long way to disrupting sleep, let me tell ya! Put on top of that a perceived physical condition that reacts to stress and humidity and I ...on the outside...am pretty much a pile of fatigued mush.  :) I feel heavy but not trapped in that heaviness...if that makes sense.

Besides the fact that I am anticipatory grieving  the loss of my very best friend, my beloved dog, who is reaching the end of her days...other things seem to be turning around.  I am so grateful..so very, very grateful for that.  My house is looking better and will be much easier to sell when things are complete. I am unexpectedly witnessing hope and better choices in my loved one and I feel such wonderful relief. My youngest is all set for university financially thanks to some wonderful programs my province/country provides so I do not have to fret too much about that. I am already more than halfway completed my yoga teacher training. (The theory part anyway...only have 4 more essays to write...the practical exam is another story...having some issues getting the body to do what I want it to do...but it will! lol I am determined).  And I had a lovely evening reminiscing with my sisters and childhood neighbors and friends.

Of course that is all just 'story'. What is really important is that everyday I get closer and closer to fully realizing my own completeness.  That is most important to me now...all other things seem to pale in comparison.  I don't know how to explain it and I wonder if that is  why I am here at five in the morning when I should be sleeping? What is pulling me here to my office, this corner, this computer, this blog and to this page?  I don't know really but here I am. 

I will just sit here in this glorious quiet and listen for an answer.  If it comes great...if it doesn't, that's okay too.  It's all good!

Why I shared that with you, I don't know.  :)

Patience and Hope

Patience is the calm acceptance that things may happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.
-David G. Allen https://www.pinterest.com.au/pin/389209592783310299/?lp=true

The 'Personal' Reason Behind Yesterday's entry

I was thinking about a future event when I wrote that yesterday.  I was hoping a little life milestone would be achieved by someone I love who has been struggling so to achieve life milestones and feeling pretty down as a result. In fact, depression and life destroying  numbing choices were ensuing And I had hope that this small achievement would help to inspire hope in him. 

Hope I knew, could pull him from darkness...up into higher life affirming emotions. From there he would be able to step into faith...in himself and in life in general.  No matter what I said or how I said it made little difference but 'experiencing' good, success etc would inject hope  more than my little words could. So I had been hoping for him to reach that milestone.

The Selfish Side of Hope

I wanted it for him but I also wanted it for me.  My heart had literally been aching for him for weeks.  I have been worried, anxious, sleepless and so very afraid. I felt his pain and I felt totally helpless to do anything about it.  And I mean it...my heart was aching...literally...for him.  I have been very brady, dizzy, ankles swollen at night, eyes swollen in the morning with a heavy chest for as long as my concern for him began. I too had hope that this achievement, as minor as it was, would make a difference in him...would do what I felt helpless to do. ...for both our sakes.

The Impersonal side of Faith

I had sat down, right as he was being tested and began to write my blog entry yesterday and as I do every morning I read my lesson from ACIM which spoke of putting the future in God's hand. Serendipitous right? I was thrilled to read that I could put it all in God's hands.  That God would take care of it so I didn't have to worry anymore. I was filling my head with hopeful images of his success and his turn around.   

I wrote the entry with that hope  and was just about to sign off when this thought dawned on me as heavy as the feeling in my chest right now.  "That doesn't mean things will turn out the way you think they should.  Your idea of good for all may not be God's. Maybe this bit of suffering is necessary for some greater joy later.  Trust...even when things are not going the way you think they 'should'....that God knows what he is doing.  That's faith"

I went back to the entry and wrote about trusting God's knowledge of what is 'good' over our own idea of it. I knew I needed to do that.

Things didn't work out the way 'i' Hoped

For about one hour, I was all the things I had thought I was somewhat beyond experiencing.  I was anxious, pacing, wringing my hands, expecting, 'shoulding', doubting, bargaining etc...all the things that tell me I am not yet where I want to be.

I discovered at the end of that very ego dominated hour...that things were not going to go our little way. He was not successful and down he went into the spiral of some dark space I couldn't follow.  I stood above him and sang out my support, my love, my concern, my fear and yes even my anger(which I had hoped I could rise above). He was too far down to hear me and all the pain just settled in my chest where it so loves to curl and down I went physically.

Trust God; Trust Life

I have to remind myself that Life knows what it is doing.  If things don't turn out the way that 'I', in my small little ego dominated mind, think they should... it doesn't mean that it is not happening the way it needs to...to ensure the greater good.

I stepped aside, later that day, away from my numbing busy work. I sat outside with the sound of bird chatter, buzzing insects and the breeze through all the trees that were surrounding me...and I allowed myself to feel two things...love and gratitude.  Those two emotions consumed me and somehow eased the feeling in my chest.

Ironically...I wake up today (after allowing myself to sleep in until 11)...to this lesson from ACIM

Love is the way I walk in gratitude.

-ACIM-W-Lesson 215: 1

 

I feel peace.  I feel a calm acceptance.  I will be patient. How cool is that?

 

 

All is well in my world.

Have a Little Faith: Placing the Future in God's Hands

The past is gone; the future is not yet.  Now am I freed from both. For what God gives can only be for good.
-ACIM-W-214:2-4

Looking into the future, what do you see?  I would assume that is more of the past, right?  If you have been struggling recently with financial debt, illness, loneliness or whatever we humans call 'problems,' you may see the same in the days ahead.  Even if you affirm, visualize  and intend all the things you want...memory will sometimes paint the future with the experience you are familiar with.  And if you see a  continuation of some form of despair in your own little idea of 'my life' what will you see for the world at large? Hmm!

Ego Plays with Hope

We read and hear about the power of intention...of changing our lives with a change in our thoughts. We hope for that change. It is easy to hope for things to be different but having faith that they will be is an entirely different matter. Hope is a conscious  thing but faith operates much deeper, into the subconscious. Ego plays with hope but shrinks with faith. So we need to replace hope with faith.

What's the Solution for putting more faith in the world's future?

Let go!  That's it...just let go! Let go of ego and its manipulations that bring doubt.  Let God take over for a while.  Place the future where it can only prosper...in God's Hands. 

It is ego that deprives your future of good...God, on the other hand,  can only give good.  Know what you want for the little 'i' and more importantly for the bigger 'I' ...for the world...and then let go of it.

Inspired Action

Let go!  That doesn't mean you put your feet up and turn a blind eye to the areas that need change.  It simply means that you allow faith to guide you and inspire you.  Allow it to inspire your action and your next step.  Inspired action requires little effort and no struggle.  Inspired action brings joy in each moment.  Inspired action takes the focus from the outcome and makes each step a grace filled one.  Inspired action can change our own lives for the better and it can change the world for the better.

Let go! Having faith doesn't mean things will always turn out the way we think they should. They will turn out the way God knows they should. We may not see the blessing in the circumstance we encounter...with our tiny little perspectives but God does. God sees the whole picture. Trusting that Life is doing exactly what is best for all is the key to peace.

It all starts with a little bit of faith.

All is well in my world!

Depersonalizing Life

In addition to our immediate consciousness, which is of a thoroughly personal nature and which we believe to be the only empirical psyche, there exists a second psychic system of collective, universal, and impersonal nature which is identical in all individuals.
- Carl Jung (from The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious)

Say what Carl?

Carl Jung, a renown early 20th century psychiatrist who studied under Sigmund Freud, is telling us there are two levels of consciousness: One superficial layer that most of us believe is the only layer and a deeper layer that only few of us will ever truly experience in this life time. 

The superficial layer is ego dominated.  When we operate from this level life seems very 'personal'. We see our selves as separate from each other and from the divine. We are defending and attacking, attaining, maintaining, loosing and occasionally winning. For the most part we are struggling. We see this as the only way there is when it is nothing but a smoke screen.

In the  deeper level of consciousness things are different.  There is no separateness but an identical nature existing within all. There is union of all things (yoga).  There is peace and love and joy without struggle. This is where we truly are. Getting to the 'experience' of  this psychic level is a process, one we often call awakening.

The Realization of the Impersonal Nature

My last few entries expressed this realization I have been having.  Thanks to Adyashanti, mooji and Eckhart Tolle, whom I have been listening to in hope their wisdom would guide 'me' beyond this seemingly 'personal/maternal crisis' I have been perceiving, I realize that what I think is "My life" is really not my Life.  I am seeing (on a purely intellectual level at this point),that there is nothing personal about Life...though it seems to be so personal. What I perceive to be happening to me as a mother and to my son is not happening to me or to me son...it is just happening.

The Stage

All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players.
-Shakespeare: As You Like It. Act II, Scene VII 

We need to think like Shakespeare did and see Life as a stage. Most importantly we need to see our minds as the stage producer, ego as the director and the little' me' or "I" as the star. We have to see the impersonal nature of it.

What difference does that make?

What difference does it make to think like that? Well by removing the "my' from life, story or problem I am no longer the star in this drama that seems so personal. I am just a person watching it.  I do not have the 'pressure' of remembering lines I am expected to remember, emoting and feeling in the way the director tells me I should.  I am not putting all this energy in to the production to stay in character. "I", I am realizing, am not the character.  I am so much more.

Watching from this state of so much more is so much easier than being in the play.  It is such a relief! I am in a sense distancing myself without closing my eyes to what is happening around me. I am still aware but not overly attached or lost in the part ego and society expect me to play. My mind stays clearer that way so I can respond rather than react.

That doesn't mean I don't feel the pain, the grief, the fear...but as long as I am watching I am feeling it as a witness rather than a sole player.  It's not just 'my' pain, 'my' story...it's universal.  It belongs to no one and at the same time it belongs to all.  This situation and the emotions I am feeling are  just  expressions of life ebbing in and out of consciousness. It goes from one act, one scene to the next.  It isn't personal!  It truly only becomes "Pain, suffering, struggle" when I attach a "My" to it and jump up on stage to start acting it out.

The Threshold

I realize there is a deeper level of consciousness from which to perceive life but I am not yet fully living from there.  I find myself  on the threshold between true realization (experiencing, feeling, knowing this to be true) and perceiving from the first psychic layer of consciousness which is ego dominated. 

Most of us are still on the stage...not knowing, not seeing that we are simply playing a part ego tells us to play...thinking this play is real and all there is.  We are lost in the character and the drama. We don't see the audience watching us. 

That audience of course is the second layer of consciousness...the collective unconscious, the Atman, the soul, or the Self.  There is just One audience...every expression of it  claps at the same time,  laughs at the same time...hisses and boos at the same time.  Though there is a form sitting in each individual seat...each member of the audience is identical...an expression of the One greater audience, the collective, universal, impersonal nature .

Realization of the Audience

Once we know there is indeed an audience...everything changes.  We say to ourselves, "If there is an audience watching me...then I must be playing a part.  What am I doing here?  This must be an act.  It must be  a drama created by my ego.  It is not real...nothing but stage props and other actors.  Man?  Why am I playing in such a terrible drama? " We begin the detachment from the act and thus from our over identifying with the superficial layer of consciousness.

The beginning of freedom is the realization that you are not the thinker.

The moment you start watching the thinker, a higher level of consciousness becomes activated.

You then begin to realize that there is a vast realm of intelligence beyond thought,

that thought is only a tiny aspect of that intelligence.

You also realize that all the things that truly matter,

-beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace-

arise from beyond the mind.

You begin to awaken.

-Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now)



I am at the point of my waking up where I am realizing I am playing a part and starring in some drama.  I see the edges of the stage and see glimpses of audience in the darkened theatre.  Every now and again...just for the briefest of seconds...I even wake up in one of those seats and watch what is going on up on stage.  The witnessing  doesn't last long...but while I am sitting there things are so peaceful.  Things are so clear. Life is so impersonal!But before I know it I am back on stage.  

I am still spending most of my time on stage and though sometimes I even forget that I am acting, I am for the most part aware that I am acting and that there is an audience out there watching me act. I know now there is me as a character and me as an audience member.  Life is so much easier as the audience member. Why? Because it isn't so personal. It is not about me!

Life Isn't Personal!

We can depersonalize life by leaving the dramas we are playing in and sitting down to watch life .  Life circumstances are just that circumstances...scenes in a play we do not have to star in. The true living occurs in the seat...as part of a greater consciousness.

All is well.


References


Jung, Carl.  The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious.  (https://books.google.ca/books?id=hmXfBQAAQBAJ&pg=PA43&lpg=PA43&dq=In+addition+to+our+immediate+consciousness,+which+is+of+a+thoroughly+personal+nature+and+which+we+believe+to+be+the+only+empirical+psyche&source=bl&ots=TUg9ErW21t&sig=7uu5klACIOxbxuL8eW_nfi6KFQ4&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiJktHMi8LcAhWH3oMKHaW3CbEQ6AEwBnoECAYQAQ#v=onepage&q=In%20addition%20to%20our%20immediate%20consciousness%2C%20which%20is%20of%20a%20thoroughly%20personal%20nature%20and%20which%20we%20believe%20to%20be%20the%20only%20empirical%20psyche&f=false

Tolle, Eckhart.( 2004)  The Power of Now. New World Library.

'Not about me' and freedom

The most difficult thing for spiritual seekers to do is stop struggling, striving, seeking and searching. Why? Because in the absence of struggle you do not know who you are; you lose your boundaries; you lose your separateness; you lose your specialness; you lose the dream you have lived all your life. eventually you lose all your mind ever created and awaken to who you really are: the fullness of freedom unbound by any identifications, identities or boundaries.
-Adyashanti

The Words that Keep us stuck in struggle

Nothing, absolutely nothing, that happens in Life is about 'me'.  I tell myself it is by over using the words 'my' and "i' and 'me'. 

I describe things in my head and through my mouth  as "My Life", "My problem", "My happiness [or lack of]."My story" or "Not my fault!".

 I am constantly referring to my separated state with things like"I am here."  "I am this and I am that."  "I have this and I have that." Adyashanti encourages us to listen sometimes to a conversation someone else is having and count the number of times we hear the word 'I".  Or most eye opening...listen to how many times we say it. It would probably blow us away.

And the use of the 'me' word is addictive.  "You don't understand 'me".  "You don't listen to me." "It is all about  me".  "  Sometimes we will say things like "You like me, you really, really like me" but usually that 'me' has a melodramatic self pitying connotation to it. "You will never guess what it happens for me." "Poor me"

The Story Ego Writes

Man...our sense of suffering is derived from this idea that Life is about us as individuals. As long as we are spouting off the 'I',' My' or 'me' in the conversations that go on in our heads or to someone else we are caught in story.  As long as we are caught in story we will suffer because ego is the writer of that story, not the Self we really are. Ego writes about struggle not the peace it is afraid of.

I mean there will be lots of good parts in our stories. The writer wants to hook us. There will be joy, adventure, romance and laughter.  there will always be suspense, anticipation and a longing for more  but there will also be a lot of struggle because that is what we want. We are constantly seeking for something that makes us flip through the pages of life so quickly we do not appreciate what is on each  page...we will be looking for how it ends, wanting it to be 'better', more 'exciting' full of things we gain, achieve, cling to in order to make the story better. And these things will be written off again and again.  We will lose just as quickly as we gain.  We will have unexpected twists in plots.  As long as it is "My Story", we won't find true joy and satisfaction, we will suffer.

Do we want to feel good?

Yes! we want to feel good but we also want to suffer, to struggle. We want to struggle to feel good. The 'I', the"My' and the "me' need the struggle to stay alive.

True Joy

Adyashanti, in his beautiful yet simple description of true joy explains how we do experience it from time to time. How in an unexpected moment we find ourselves feeling it, smiling or laughing for no apparent reasons.  How sometimes something beautiful catches our eye and its like"Awe!" or we look at someone we love and our heart feels full, we witness an unexpected kindness and we feel warm all over.  In these moments  time stops...we feel satisfaction and joy.  We are not suffering. Why?  Because we are not thinking!  We are not  telling ourselves a story.  We are not identified with that "My" "I" or "me". We in our tiny little egoic forms disappear.

 It is, in those rare fleeting yet blessed moments that we all experience from time to time, so much more than that.  What brings us true joy is the presence within us that speaks to the "us"  of all things.  We are experiencing Life as who we truly are.

If we could just stay there...get there and stay there, there would be no need to suffer because we will not feel personally attacked by Life in a story ego is writing and narrating.  We will simply feel and Be Life!  That is what experiencing the true Self is all about. It is not about me.

Our freedom comes from the thing we fear the most...the absence of the little self, from knowing and feeling: "It truly is not about me."

References

Adyashanti (1999) Why we struggle? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvJ9hrGN0UE

Adyashanti: No Self .  From the Inspirational Quotes and Videos site http://inspirationalvideosandquotes.com/hp_wordpress/?p=103

Choosing Joy instead of Pain

I choose the joy of God today instead of pain.
-ACIM -w-190



Pain is my own idea...(ACIM-W-210:2)


Pain is a choice.  Suffering, dukkha, feeling dissatisfied with Life ...whatever you want to call it..is a choice. It is something we created in our heads and something we cling to because it gives us something that we want.

Say what, crazy lady?!!!  Who would choose pain?

I know, I know.  It sounds bizarre but it is true. It is not that we choose suffering  fully consciously but we do choose it on some level.  It serves a purpose for our egos.

Specialness and Separation 

Egos thrive on this idea of all us little 'i' s  struggling in this big bad world. It convinces us we are all separated and alone and the only way to make it, is to become special in our own eyes and some one else's. We need to become special...see our special talents and gifts...recognize how special we are and become 'special' to a select few of others. So we try to attain, gain, achieve in order to meet that requirement of separation . 

The Rewards of Struggle

The more we do so against unfavorable odds (Life!)...the more special we become.  And even if we do not achieve...we can gain great 'special recognition' through the amount of struggling and suffering that shows up in our lives.  We can gain special status  as winners and we can gain special status as losers (victims to the struggle of Life). It really doesn't matter which, does it?  They both lead to the same outcome.   The more we struggle, the more we suffer...the more 'special 'we become.

Society fosters this and rewards suffering.  "Look at the adversity she had to overcome to get where she is at. She is so special."  Or we try to build self esteem in others ( build ego separation) by affirming and encouraging others to affirm how special they are.  "I am special.  I love myself.  There is only one person in the world like me.  I am unique and I have special gifts to offer." We become conditioned to believe a 'specialness status'  is what we need to make us happy. We, at some level,  want to star in some melodrama and reap the accolades and rewards for doing so either as heroes or victims.

So we are choosing pain...we are choosing struggle in our lives.  It adds to the great drama of human existence that poets and playwrights write about.  Suffering  becomes the fabric from which our culture is woven.  The more we  struggle ...even if we don't overcome our struggles...the  better the drama...the more badges of honor and stardom our little 'i' receives.  The more 'separate' it becomes. We want to star in our own drams, don't we? 

Why?

We choose to struggle to maintain our separate "I" identities. Egos are narcissistic to the core. As long as we are identified with the little 'self', the little 'me' we will suffer. The little 'i' always has a story to tell...an act in a play to perform and a struggle to endure. Because the little me maintains its separate stardom through struggle.

I have been perceiving 'struggle' and suffering in my own life lately.  A parental concern has become a legitimate serious life circumstance that I find myself helpless but to do anything but watch it unfold before my eyes.  I am 'worrying' to the point of not sleeping at night.  I literally feel 'sick' when I confront it or think about it.  It...the life circumstance I am observing...feels so real and all consuming.  'I' am suffering, struggling in this life drama that feels so bloody awful. I am struggling against it, resisting it like a drowning victim resists the water. 

And 'I' am watching myself doing it.  I am seeing myself in some form of a drama and man am I good!!! I am gaining  'special' status for the part I am playing in all this.  People are awed by the character's struggle and I am gaining added specialness for adding another great struggle to an already big and dramatic life story. "Look at me and what I am going through...now!"  I hate it but my ego loves it! 

It Doesn't have to be this way!

I am choosing pain because it is what I know but it doesn't have to be this way. We do not have to suffer or struggle.  We do not have to play this part or live this story.  There is another way.  There truly is one solution for every problem and it is a spiritual one. Most steps toward enlightenment begin with this desire to get past ego's need for pain.

We can choose differently.  We can choose joy, our natural state of being that God has created in us instead.  If we put down ego's dramas and the scripts it tells us we need to play in order to survive we will see there is another way.    When we choose the "Self" over the little 'self/me' ...there is no need for drama. When we put down our need to be 'special' and separate which is not who we are and see ourselves as Who we really are (One Self)......struggle just goes away.

Life circumstance may not change but we will!

Life circumstance doesn't necessarily get easier. What I am witnessing with my physical eyes may not change. Life will be life with its ups and its downs...but when we are ready to choose differently...we will approach life circumstance differently. We will respond to it without ego's drama.  We will see that we do not need  'specialness' and that even at a deeper level we do not want it. 

When we return to experiencing the natural state of joy beneath all these mental modifications...we will be able to observe the ups and downs of human experience peacefully.    When we put away the 'I' identity and experience Life as the Self...all misery goes away.  It is the story the mind clings to about who we are and whatever is going on in our lives that causes the pain...not the actual life circumstance.

Everything the little "i' identity clings to will create misery at some point.  In its narcissistic ventures to maintain specialness...it will never find joy.  But when we swap the "me' for Self- which is everything and everyone...we no longer have a selfish need for struggle. "Now we know that selfish thoughts bring misery and selfless ones leave us in peace." (Satchidananda, 2011, page 11).

Hmmm!  Now that is something to think about!

References:

ACIM -workbook- Lesson 190, 210

Sri Swami Satchidananda (2011), The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Integral Yoga: Yogaville.

Excuse my rant yesterday.  :)  I had a lovely birthday surrounded by family.  I appreciate all the kindness and well wishes shown to me.

I just realize every now and again how different I am....how different I am from others and how different I am from the person I used to identify myself as.  I am also surprised to discover what makes me excited and what doesn't.  (Well not 'makes me'...but you know what I mean :)).  I prefer ordinary peaceful days that hold no obligation or expectation.  I prefer to be rather than to do.

It's all good.  A little high on paint thinner and have a chest full of paint sand...but it is all good.

Taking the 'special' out of Special Occassion

When you wake up everyday, it's like a new birthday: it's a new chance to be great again and make great decisions.
- Poo Bear (https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/birthday)


I am not sure if this is a part of the awakening process or a part of the getting older and crankier one, but I don't care too much about celebrating "special" occasions. I don't see everything as 'special' just because society deems it as such. I go along with them and do what is socially expected of me but I really do not see their significance of creating more social recognition through partying and making it known. I don't get excited...I don't go out of my way to plan and organize.  I don't care how it appears. 

As far as I am concerned, a birthday is just another day on the calendar regardless if it is your 60th or your second, retirement from work is just stopping doing something you did for a long time......and though finishing 13 years of school and  graduation is a big milestone that should be celebrated and honored...do we need to buy 700 dollar dresses that the person is only going to wear once for a few hours or stress our selves out to have these lavish celebrations?  Shouldn't it be about 'joy' more so than stress?

Where do we draw the line between honoring a milestone and getting lost in social expectation and competition?  Are we celebrating the individual accomplishment or being ritualistic? Is it about the person who was born on this date so many years ago, the one who is stepping away from a job or graduating or are we simply compelled to keep celebrating by doing what everyone else is doing to appease social norms?  Is this about the human being or the human-doing?   Oh man...this is the time where I realize just how unlike other people I really am.lol I don't get it.  I just don't get it.

Oh do not get me wrong...I believe people should be celebrated.  They should be honored and appreciated for years spent on this planet, for the service they provided or provide to humanity , for the learning that they have done. But do we need a 'special' occasion?

Man, do I sound cranky on my birthday or what?.lol.  Yep...it is my birthday and I don't really want to celebrate it in the way society deems as correct. I don't want my family to feel like they have to "buy me something" or take me out.   I don't even seem to feel comfortable with "Happy Birthday!" anymore. It all just seems to be based on 'social expectation'.  I don't want any 'special' attention today.

I am not 'special' because I was born on this date 55 years ago. I am not 'special' because of this personality others have come to know as Mom, sister, friend or partner.  There is no 'special'...maybe that is why I find it hard to celebrate...I am learning there is no 'special'....no special date, no special occasion, no special little me.  :)

Maybe we should just wish people on all these so called special occasions, "Happy Day!" Let's just celebrate Life in general.  I have been in this body which is forever changing :) for 55 glorious years and I am so grateful. Let's celebrate every breath we can take....every moment instead of years of marked and mentally constructed time. Instead of stress, expectation, obligation...I want people to just appreciate Life with me on my birthday....to feel joy. I want to feel 'joy'...that is my birthday wish for myself.  I want to feel peace, joy, gratitude  and love and no external designation of 'special' can give me that.  

As I write this, my sister is leaving me a message on my voice mail.  She always calls all of her siblings on their birthday to sing them happy birthday.  She prefers to leave it as a message. That's sweet!   Do I hear joy in her voice?

It's all good. "Happy Celebration of Life. Happy Day" to all.

Going away to discover you can't go away.

Every once in a while, people need to be in the presence of things that are really far away.
-Ian Frazier (https://www.lifehack.org/315715/10-quotes-for-those-who-need-get-away-right-now)



Been away and it did wonders for my mind and body.  One night away with D.  and I came back  lighter, rejuvenated and with a bit more energy.  I even had the oompf to clean the house when I came home...yep and I did it with a smile on my face.  I felt good. 

We have been trying to get things done around here so we can sell...a mini split and the help of my daughter helped to give me enough zip to begin the cupboard painting. Still it is very tiring and the added mess leads to more visual chaos surrounding me, which in feng shui terms ...is mentally and emotionally chaos inducing.  I also...as we all do ...have a lot of life situations  going on around me and I am still challenged in my ability to mentally and physically pull away from it.  The world around me has been weighing  heavy on me (so I perceive).  D. took me 'away' from it all for a day even though I didn't think that was going to change anything.   Did it?

Does getting away change us?

So coming home with this energy was surprising and thrilling.  I even started to think things like..."Man!  It is all gone.  I am so much better!  I am healed! Life is going to be so different from now on. All I have to do is get away from the stress every now and again. "   I was convinced once again that the mind heals the body and the awareness of Spirit heals the mind.

Does it last?

Then when I got up this morning and stuck my head out in the humid air...I deflated like a balloon.  Humidity and my condition (okay...the condition of symptoms I have been believing are my reality lol) do not get along.  ZAPPED! With the deflation of physical energy and the  return of these symptoms as well as the reminder of my life circumstances,  I begin to doubt my direction for healing. I said to myself, "It's gone!  That joy...that energy...is gone."

Or is it?

I do believe that the mind can heal.  Well I believe if we heal the mind  the body will follow suit.  I do believe that.  That belief is not gone but that 'experiencing and feeling' of it has slipped away because ego has popped back in.  What I felt yesterday was the 'natural' way I was intended to feel...or at least an introduction to it.  We are meant to feel physically well and vibrant.  We are meant to feel peace and joy.  When we don't, our mind is being clouded once again with mental modifications. It is the mind that is interfering with our natural state of being.

When we get down physically or mentally because of our reaction to bodily and life situations...ego sees a chance to come in and shake a finger in our direction ( with the support of 80% of  all other humans with active  egos :)) "That's all craziness.  See what the humidity does to you? If you are sick you are sick.  If life situations are challenging...life is challenging.  You cannot solve these problems with your mind, crazy lady!   Get real!"

But I can!

But I can!  And I will.  That's what something stronger and more powerful tells me.  I know I am not a body...with the mind's help I can heal in the truest sense of the word so that trips away are not necessary to bring me back to who I really am.

Lessons Learned

There are several little things I learned from this little experience:

1. Accept that the change may not seem to last:  This learning to control the mind thing is no easy task.  :) Yogis spend their lives in caves meditating trying to master this...so don't beat yourself up if you are, like me, still in the process of mastering the mind at the most basic levels. In the beginning, these moments of experiencing our natural states: wellness, vibrant energy, peace  and joy,  will likely be few and far between, lasting only briefly.  It may take time, lots of time, for us to get beyond the need for time.
2. Appreciate the natural state when you experience it.  Every glimpse of our natural states of being are to be cherished and appreciated.  We can stay where I was in the "It was here and now it is gone!" mentally and moan and complain about the  loss of it ...or we can appreciate when we do experience it, revel in it as a reminder that it is there waiting for us to return to it.
3. Know the only thing keeping us from experiencing wellness and joy are these mental modifications:  The mind stuff is what is preventing us from experiencing what exists beneath it...our natural state.  If we can control the mind ...we can control everything. It's not the stressors, the bodily symptoms or the weather...that is pulling us from that...but the mind.
4. Know nothing can pull us from that natural state:  We need to see that we are that natural state ...and that is a permanent unchanging thing.  Nothing is pulling us away because it can't.  We are simply not always 'aware of it' in terms we can experience and feel because of the junk we are telling ourselves...because of our identification with ego and the chaotic world around us. This idea of being pulled away...is just an idea.  When we don't experience peace and wellness or feel it...we have simply lost awareness of what is always there.  Our natural state goes nowhere, nor does it change.
5. Physically step away until you can mentally step away:  It is okay to take a break from the external world's idea of stress.  Take mini vacations: leave the situation that 'seems' to be stressful for a few hours or a few days if you can.  When you step away physically, it is easier to step away mentally and when you step away mentally...the body recuperates from the damaging blows the mind has unleashed on it.
6. Know that it is possible to know who you are without going anywhere.  There is only one solution to every problem and that is control of the mind.  We will all eventually learn that if we can learn to control our monkey minds.  Wherever we go out there, doesn't change who we are in here.

"That means behind all these ever changing phenomena is a never changing One. That One appears to change because of our mental modifications. So, by changing your mind, you change everything.  If we could only understand this point, we would see that there is nothing wrong outside; it is all in the mind. " (Satchidananda, 2011, peace is every breath...lol...wrong book...The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali)

All is Well in my world.

Freedom

Freedom

Not this body, but carried by it

not this mind, but using it

not of this world, but creating it

Not doing life, but Being It.

 

 

 

A Bad Translation

Stillness is the language God speaks.  Everything else is a bad translation.
-Eckhart Tolle teachings


 What's this nonsense then about stillness and presence when the world around us is obviously so busy?  Imagine being still in this world. We all have clocks and calenders in our lives...telling us where we need to be and what we need to do in the next  moment, away from this one which only has the purpose of taking us to the next one. And this idea about waking up and being more conscious, that we will become aware that we are living with a delusion in an illusion.  Are you on drugs crazy lady?

We know what is real and what isn't; we know who we are!

No, I am not on drugs but Yes, I am still a bit crazy because I am not completely awake yet. I was even crazier when I thought in the way above.  I still do from time to time. I slip.  I still find myself occasionally looking at a bad translation of truth.  Why?  Because I am not always aware of stillness.  I still get lost from time to time in this idea that I know.

The Beauty of Not Knowing

Not knowing implies that you are not thinking.  Socrates once agreed with the oracle' of Delphi's comment that he was the wisest of all men. He said he was the wisest because he was the only man who knew he knew nothing. True consciousness  or presence he believed, is the only wisdom...it is the essence of who we are.  He urged over and over again, Man, know thyself!   And we know by not knowing...by being.

Whose Crazy?

If we are not aware of our essence...who we are...are we not crazy? Tolle describes this state of not knowing as what happens when we are in alert presence, stillness and spaciousness. When we are conscious, like Socrates was, there is access to the Being dimension within us. When we are not living in an idea, thought, belief system of who we are and are simply being that ...we are awakened.  Otherwise we are asleep.  We are crazy.

Every human being who is not yet awakened has some form of craziness within them.  Even when we are on our way to becoming enlightened we still have elements of craziness within us. When we feel ego taking over, when we get lost in the drama of world events splattered over papers and computer screens, when we define ourselves by what we do and what others think we are, when we react to the behaviours of others with defence and attack, when we find ourselves rushing and bustling our way through this moment, this here and now  just so we can get to the next one......we are slipping into unconsciousness again. And if we haven't even gotten to the point that we are aware that we are off the mark and are convinced that we know...then we are really unconscious; we are really crazy.

What's real or unreal?  They are just words, ideas. There is no knowledge found in words, images, descriptions or thought.  Those belong to ego.  And ego takes us anywhere but to the truth. It translates very poorly.

Truth can only be heard in stillness.  When we get beyond thought and ego and listen to the Divine within us.  There is no way of knowing that...only Being that.  Being that is the only thing that is important.  It is the only language that is true.  Everything else is a bad translation.

All is well.

References:

https://www.pbs.org/empires/thegreeks/characters/socrates_p4.html


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02Vx2mUXsB8

Imagination's Canvas

This world is but a canvas to our imagination.
-Henry David Thoreau (https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/henry_david_thoreau)

If you want to view paradise

simply look around and view it

Anything you want to do, do it

If you want to change the world,

there is nothing to it.

-Roald Dahl (Pure Imagination)



If you could paint anything you wanted onto this background, what would you paint? (Please don't say the Teletubbies lol)

 

 

What matters it, that all around

Danger, and guilt, and darkness lie,

If but within our bosom's bound

We hold a bright, untroubled sky,

Warm with ten thousand mingled rays

Of suns that know no winter days?

-Emily Bronte (To Imagination)

 

https://www.poemhunter.com/poems/imagination/page-1/16644/

 

 



Freedom or Confusion in Not Knowing?

Freedom is given you where you beheld but chains and iron doors.  But you must change your mind about the purpose of the world, if you would find escape.
-ACIM-W-200:5:1-2


Hmm!  I am going to step back a bit and listen to the words that came sputtering out of me onto the page over the last few entries.  You are not the only one who may have been confused by them...let me tell ya lol. I am.

I have to think about why these things  are coming out and whether or not I should (I know ...one of the bad words lol)  share them here.  I read so much, I listen to so much outside and inside of me, I 'feel' so much and I write to understand.  This stuff literally just comes pouring out of me.  I cannot seem to stop it any more than I could stop a cut from bleeding.  I could cover it, put something over it but isn't that what got us into this confused mess in the first place lol? 

Anyway...I am not an expert!  I know nothing!  I really don't know anything and it is actually quite an experience.  The more I realize this, the more I pull away from the way I used to live and function on a daily basis. I can't seem to function the way I used to.  I do not socialize like I used to because when I am around people I realize that I do not know all the things I used to think I knew and we used to share.  I don't know them...I mean I see egos and personalities but I know that isn't them ...so I find myself staring at people in such a different way.  It's like, "Wow! Who are you?" (And I know they are saying the same about me because I appear so different to them.) ...I say so little...I listen but I find myself bored with social chit chat or petty problems...I want to hear  about the 'meaning of life' and peace.  (And very few people want to talk about that lol). I am becoming so reclusive.  I do not need people the way I thought I did. I still care very deeply but in a deeper more connected way that doesn't quite make sense to me yet. (another bad word lol)

I do not enjoy what I thought used to be so much fun but I revel in being able to sit outside on a beautiful evening and listen to the wind through the trees or watch as the light changes.   I do not need 'excitement' and thrills. I don't need to 'do'.  I see all the 'numbing' behaviours going on around me and I feel sad...the use of substances, mindless activities, work etc to dull or distract us from the life experience saddens me deeply.  Don't get me wrong, I see it in myself too. I want it to be different or at least, I want to see it differently.

I am knowing less and less and changing more and more. How can I share what I don't know? And how come it sometimes comes out of me like I do know?  It is all so bizarre...so wonderfully freeing, awkward, nonsensical and amazing at the same time.   

So I caution you to take what I write here with a grain of salt.  I can't validate the 'knowing' only the information that comes from sources that have come to me.  I can tell you that it feels so right regardless of how confusing it may seem to those reading and to myself.  It feels right. But I definitely do not know!

All is well in my world.

Knowing Self

To know and not to be[or feel] is not to truly know.
-Adyashanti

I Do Not Know

I want to confess, just in case I am coming off otherwise... I do not know Self fully and completely yet. (I used that 'yet' word to create hope lol).  I am no further ahead in my 'knowing' than anyone else. This blog is not about my expert ability to pass 'knowing' on to others either.  I have no expertise that will take us further on our silly little journeys to knowing this elusive It  with our minds.  I simply write as someone learning about the desire most of us have, regardless if we know it or not, to simply experience Who We Really Are fully.  I can't take you there.  I can't take me there lol.

'I' is not Who We Really Are

Because I am using words, metaphors, ideas and images to explain something that really cannot be explained; because I am using 'mind 'to describe something so far beyond mind... it gets confusing and I often confuse myself lol. 

The 'I' that doesn't know is of course this idea of me that mind created. If this 'I' knew I would feel that knowledge truly and fully not just  with my mind but my whole being and  I would be 'feeling Self' all the time. Right now as I write I would recognize that I can't  be anything but IT. If I was there...there would be no talk of journey or getting there or  not being there 'yet' or on a part time basis. I would simply Be from that state. There would be no need for thought.

Though I have felt It from time to time and 'I' know Self is in me...mind still gets in the way to either pull me back into the 'idea of knowing Self' so I don't stay there in the being and feeling of It.  Again I stress the 'I' to be the one my mind or ego created, that part of me that  doesn't stay there in the knowing Who I Really Am Space..  I am not always aware of being there.  But in all truth the I that Self recognizes as an extension of Itself in this physical form...doesn't go anywhere.  It is always is. I am always there, just not knowing it truly or fully yet.

Mind or Whole Being Knowing?

As long as mind is busy explaining, narrating, pointing, describing this place where Who I  Truly Am is I know nothing.  I am in my head not the heart knowing.  I like how Adyashanti describes the feeling of  truly knowing in his video Why mindfulness isn't enough.  When we finally get it when we finally know it is like finally getting a joke...we feel it all over, we giggle, we laugh and even when we say, "Oh! I get it." our whole body sings along. When we feel that knowing, we are there.

True knowing is different than mind knowing.  True knowing is feeling the truth, Being the truth.  There is no doubt.  Mind knowing is thinking the truth, using words, ideas, images to describe the truth,Man can only have a doubt when there is a possicility of doubt. (Mooji)

When we know Self truly there is no possibility of doubt.  Self doesn't doubt Itself, doesn't leave Itself, doesn't get pulled into mind.  Self always just is.  To Be is to Know.

Knowing Self with the mind is limited, and truly not what we want.  We want to know Self with our entire being...to be giddy with it because we finally "got it."

The mind cannot intimidate the pure Self, it can only intimidate the idea we have of our Self...that comes from the mind. (Mooji)

Mooji takes us there again and again with his invitation.  What is this Self he takes us to?  It is something that cannot be described or explained.  It has no form, no shape, no size, no color...it has "NOTHING" .  It is simply emptiness and space.  That is our true consciousness.  That is not just where we are, it is who we are.

There is no cloud inside a cloud;

There is no tree inside a tree;

There is no man inside a man.
There is only consciousness
and the Life force expressing.

 

-Mooji, On the Concept 'You must have a purpose'

References


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mm8QYnQKqss

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJZOyGOmuwE