Going away to discover you can't go away.

Every once in a while, people need to be in the presence of things that are really far away.
-Ian Frazier (https://www.lifehack.org/315715/10-quotes-for-those-who-need-get-away-right-now)



Been away and it did wonders for my mind and body.  One night away with D.  and I came back  lighter, rejuvenated and with a bit more energy.  I even had the oompf to clean the house when I came home...yep and I did it with a smile on my face.  I felt good. 

We have been trying to get things done around here so we can sell...a mini split and the help of my daughter helped to give me enough zip to begin the cupboard painting. Still it is very tiring and the added mess leads to more visual chaos surrounding me, which in feng shui terms ...is mentally and emotionally chaos inducing.  I also...as we all do ...have a lot of life situations  going on around me and I am still challenged in my ability to mentally and physically pull away from it.  The world around me has been weighing  heavy on me (so I perceive).  D. took me 'away' from it all for a day even though I didn't think that was going to change anything.   Did it?

Does getting away change us?

So coming home with this energy was surprising and thrilling.  I even started to think things like..."Man!  It is all gone.  I am so much better!  I am healed! Life is going to be so different from now on. All I have to do is get away from the stress every now and again. "   I was convinced once again that the mind heals the body and the awareness of Spirit heals the mind.

Does it last?

Then when I got up this morning and stuck my head out in the humid air...I deflated like a balloon.  Humidity and my condition (okay...the condition of symptoms I have been believing are my reality lol) do not get along.  ZAPPED! With the deflation of physical energy and the  return of these symptoms as well as the reminder of my life circumstances,  I begin to doubt my direction for healing. I said to myself, "It's gone!  That joy...that energy...is gone."

Or is it?

I do believe that the mind can heal.  Well I believe if we heal the mind  the body will follow suit.  I do believe that.  That belief is not gone but that 'experiencing and feeling' of it has slipped away because ego has popped back in.  What I felt yesterday was the 'natural' way I was intended to feel...or at least an introduction to it.  We are meant to feel physically well and vibrant.  We are meant to feel peace and joy.  When we don't, our mind is being clouded once again with mental modifications. It is the mind that is interfering with our natural state of being.

When we get down physically or mentally because of our reaction to bodily and life situations...ego sees a chance to come in and shake a finger in our direction ( with the support of 80% of  all other humans with active  egos :)) "That's all craziness.  See what the humidity does to you? If you are sick you are sick.  If life situations are challenging...life is challenging.  You cannot solve these problems with your mind, crazy lady!   Get real!"

But I can!

But I can!  And I will.  That's what something stronger and more powerful tells me.  I know I am not a body...with the mind's help I can heal in the truest sense of the word so that trips away are not necessary to bring me back to who I really am.

Lessons Learned

There are several little things I learned from this little experience:

1. Accept that the change may not seem to last:  This learning to control the mind thing is no easy task.  :) Yogis spend their lives in caves meditating trying to master this...so don't beat yourself up if you are, like me, still in the process of mastering the mind at the most basic levels. In the beginning, these moments of experiencing our natural states: wellness, vibrant energy, peace  and joy,  will likely be few and far between, lasting only briefly.  It may take time, lots of time, for us to get beyond the need for time.
2. Appreciate the natural state when you experience it.  Every glimpse of our natural states of being are to be cherished and appreciated.  We can stay where I was in the "It was here and now it is gone!" mentally and moan and complain about the  loss of it ...or we can appreciate when we do experience it, revel in it as a reminder that it is there waiting for us to return to it.
3. Know the only thing keeping us from experiencing wellness and joy are these mental modifications:  The mind stuff is what is preventing us from experiencing what exists beneath it...our natural state.  If we can control the mind ...we can control everything. It's not the stressors, the bodily symptoms or the weather...that is pulling us from that...but the mind.
4. Know nothing can pull us from that natural state:  We need to see that we are that natural state ...and that is a permanent unchanging thing.  Nothing is pulling us away because it can't.  We are simply not always 'aware of it' in terms we can experience and feel because of the junk we are telling ourselves...because of our identification with ego and the chaotic world around us. This idea of being pulled away...is just an idea.  When we don't experience peace and wellness or feel it...we have simply lost awareness of what is always there.  Our natural state goes nowhere, nor does it change.
5. Physically step away until you can mentally step away:  It is okay to take a break from the external world's idea of stress.  Take mini vacations: leave the situation that 'seems' to be stressful for a few hours or a few days if you can.  When you step away physically, it is easier to step away mentally and when you step away mentally...the body recuperates from the damaging blows the mind has unleashed on it.
6. Know that it is possible to know who you are without going anywhere.  There is only one solution to every problem and that is control of the mind.  We will all eventually learn that if we can learn to control our monkey minds.  Wherever we go out there, doesn't change who we are in here.

"That means behind all these ever changing phenomena is a never changing One. That One appears to change because of our mental modifications. So, by changing your mind, you change everything.  If we could only understand this point, we would see that there is nothing wrong outside; it is all in the mind. " (Satchidananda, 2011, peace is every breath...lol...wrong book...The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali)

All is Well in my world.