Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Taking the 'special' out of Special Occassion

When you wake up everyday, it's like a new birthday: it's a new chance to be great again and make great decisions.
- Poo Bear (https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/birthday)


I am not sure if this is a part of the awakening process or a part of the getting older and crankier one, but I don't care too much about celebrating "special" occasions. I don't see everything as 'special' just because society deems it as such. I go along with them and do what is socially expected of me but I really do not see their significance of creating more social recognition through partying and making it known. I don't get excited...I don't go out of my way to plan and organize.  I don't care how it appears. 

As far as I am concerned, a birthday is just another day on the calendar regardless if it is your 60th or your second, retirement from work is just stopping doing something you did for a long time......and though finishing 13 years of school and  graduation is a big milestone that should be celebrated and honored...do we need to buy 700 dollar dresses that the person is only going to wear once for a few hours or stress our selves out to have these lavish celebrations?  Shouldn't it be about 'joy' more so than stress?

Where do we draw the line between honoring a milestone and getting lost in social expectation and competition?  Are we celebrating the individual accomplishment or being ritualistic? Is it about the person who was born on this date so many years ago, the one who is stepping away from a job or graduating or are we simply compelled to keep celebrating by doing what everyone else is doing to appease social norms?  Is this about the human being or the human-doing?   Oh man...this is the time where I realize just how unlike other people I really am.lol I don't get it.  I just don't get it.

Oh do not get me wrong...I believe people should be celebrated.  They should be honored and appreciated for years spent on this planet, for the service they provided or provide to humanity , for the learning that they have done. But do we need a 'special' occasion?

Man, do I sound cranky on my birthday or what?.lol.  Yep...it is my birthday and I don't really want to celebrate it in the way society deems as correct. I don't want my family to feel like they have to "buy me something" or take me out.   I don't even seem to feel comfortable with "Happy Birthday!" anymore. It all just seems to be based on 'social expectation'.  I don't want any 'special' attention today.

I am not 'special' because I was born on this date 55 years ago. I am not 'special' because of this personality others have come to know as Mom, sister, friend or partner.  There is no 'special'...maybe that is why I find it hard to celebrate...I am learning there is no 'special'....no special date, no special occasion, no special little me.  :)

Maybe we should just wish people on all these so called special occasions, "Happy Day!" Let's just celebrate Life in general.  I have been in this body which is forever changing :) for 55 glorious years and I am so grateful. Let's celebrate every breath we can take....every moment instead of years of marked and mentally constructed time. Instead of stress, expectation, obligation...I want people to just appreciate Life with me on my birthday....to feel joy. I want to feel 'joy'...that is my birthday wish for myself.  I want to feel peace, joy, gratitude  and love and no external designation of 'special' can give me that.  

As I write this, my sister is leaving me a message on my voice mail.  She always calls all of her siblings on their birthday to sing them happy birthday.  She prefers to leave it as a message. That's sweet!   Do I hear joy in her voice?

It's all good. "Happy Celebration of Life. Happy Day" to all.

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