When the doorbell rings...and something within you contracts...it is the simple recognition that your inner space is being touched...the mind reacts instantly. It begins preparing a mask...a role...a posture...in that very instant you are taking out of the natural state of presence and pushe dinto the world of psychological identity.
Eckhart Tolle
I am not a big fan of company, especially unannounced company, or company that I perceive comes with a lot of expectation for me to perform. I literally cringe...feel a contraction in my gut...when I find out such company is coming over. (This is not all company...just some). It is not that I do not care for the people coming over, that I don't want to see them but there has always been something about people coming into my space that triggers me. This has been going on for as long as I can remember. It gets more and more intense, the more I wake up. I couldn't completely undersatnd it until lately.
I came across this video from Eckhart Tolle that explains and validates my experience completely.
Vistors don't enter your home, they enter the field of energy that you have been cultivating....an inner sanctuary where the noise of the world temporarily dissolves. Protecting that space is not selfishness. It is honoring the truth of your own being.
Most people believe they enjoy constant company because they have never truly met themselves. Silence is unsettling to them because it reveals what is unresolved within (I relate this to Penses 139/Pascal) but for the one who is awakening...silence is not emptiness, it is nourishment
That is why the thought of someone coming over immediately triggers a contraction -the mind anticipates having to shrink this spaciousness back into a social form.
Visitors...activate the psychological self, the part of you that is conditioned by society, family, culture. This self is concerned with impressions, expectations, and social norms...when visitors arrive the mind tries to revive it. And this revival feels like a step backwards into unconsciousness.
Many people enter your home not physically but energetically with unresolved pain. They may be anxious, restless, angry, cheerful on the surface but carrying heaviness underneath. Even their expectations about how the interaction should unfold carry weight. The awakened person senses all this immediately. They feel the subtle disturbance in the field of awareness. The mind interprets this sensitivity as discomfort but awareness knows it simply as misalignment. The energy of the visitor is not in harmony with the stillness you cultivated. and so your whole being naturally withdraws not out of rejection but out of the instinct to return to presence.
I am so free here as I sit here in this space doing what I do...so myself...but as soon as I hear someone is coming over...this sanctuary suddenly becomes a messy, unkept house others will judge etc. I like seeing my house as this place I can be me.
Your home becomes a temple. Your silence becomes a practice. Your solitude becomes a teacher. When you close your door you are not shutting people out you are inviting yourself in.
One day you recognize something beautiful. You do not need to apologize for your boundaries. You do not need to justify your solitude. You do not need to explain why visitors drain you. Your energy belongs to you. Your inner space belongs to you. Your awakening belongs to you. So, the next time the door bell rings and your body tightens...pause...not to judge the feeling...but to understand it. It is simply Life reminding you of who you are now. You are someone now who values peace over performance, presence over noise, truth over expectation. And the world desperately needs people who live this way. You are not rejecting others. You are protecting the sanctuary where awakening happens., where you meet yourself, where you remember what you truly are.
All is well!
Eckhart Tolle Wisdom Why the Spiritually awake don't like visitors https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TI8PKAiUo-4
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