Wearing a "Space Suit"

Space Walker

Navigating around this place,
in this suit of many layers
 of reptilian scales
and mammalian glands,
I follow, however reluctantly,
 the robotic directions,
from a woman's
monotone voice,
 not my own.
She  echoes from within
a hidden  circuit
of programmed directions.  

The downloaded data tells me
to take that left and this right,
as I make my way
to the flag before me.
I am also instructed
to fight, to flee, to freeze
with each zap of current that
courses through me
from the exposed
and tender roots
of the  electrical network,
humming on the outer layer
of this suit I think I am.

This entangled wiring,
with its preprogrammed function
to warn and protect,
makes the fleshy portion
of me within
jump and retreat
like a skittish fawn
to each bump, each change in atmosphere,
each misstep.


I walk carefully,
slowly,
feeling the weight
of mechanical
and social gravity.
Each foot I lift
is heavy and slow,
precisely calculated
to be acceptable,
just like those
of the walkers before me,
leaving a deep
irreversible imprint
on the ground beneath  me.

I reach out my hungry  
telescopic limbs
to grab what is valuable ,
collecting  the moon rocks
and galaxial gems
 that will make
this journey worthwhile,
placing them in the suit's
many  storage compartments,
feeling somehow lighter, 
the heavier the container
and I  become.


I decorate my suit
in the beads of star dust
that fall around me,
making myself,  
even in this heavy garment,
as attractive and unique
as I possibly can.
I display my hard earned titles
and initials on a well lit placard
that dangles around  my neck,
making sure it is especially visible
as the light around me fades.
I am told by this robotic voice
that I must stand out
amongst the other walkers
and
at the same time
I must blend in.


I hear my breath
panting and heaving
within the confines of my suit
as I make my way
to the center of my Life.
I do my best
to heed the directions,
to avoid the zaps of pain,
to make my imprint known,
to take what I can,
and be as noticeable
and recognizable,
yet as similar
and unobtrusive 
as a separate walker
 can be...

But the suit is so heavy,
and the programming  
so restrictive,
and the flag
that does not move
in the windless air
seems to get farther away
with each step
I take toward it.  

Something within me,
some little voice
beneath the programming
and the installed
external  reactivity
whispers..."stop".
I do.

I stop in my tracks
and remove the helmet.
I breathe
for the first time
without the need
of external support.
I remove my heavy garment
and feel the weightlessness
of unlimited space
as I rise untethered
into emptiness.
I watch from
an elevated  distance
as the rocks and gems
that were once
tucked within the suit's
many pockets
 roll away.
I am free.

© Dale-Lyn (pen) July, 2020

 

I can't help it okay? They just come out. lol

 

I owe this one to Tara Brach. I was listening to her speak in the below video and she said a few words: "space suit", "Navigating" , "reptilian", "mammalian" "nervous system wired" and a few others, close to the beginning of her talk.  I had to write them down...knowing they were going to be a part of a poem...Whether they, she or I liked it or not lol. Just is!

 

All is well.

 

Tara Brach (May, 2020) Remembering Goodness; Three Gestures of Love. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcjUw6fnkMY

Observing The Programing & David Bohm

The ability to perceive or think differently is  more important than the knowledge gained.
David Bohm

Learning

Sometimes, I find myself in complete awe of the learning that is taking me somewhere I really, really want to be. I am in awe of how it shows up on my lap at a time I am seeking it, answering questions I am asking or have yet to ask. I am in awe how it feels when I take in these teachings ...how it reminds me of what I already know.  I am waking up!  Hmmm!

Spiritual Physicist

Last night I was drawn to a video of David Bohm and I have read and listened to some of his teachings before but this time it was like, "Ya!"  I mean I get tripped up on the mathematical component of physics...big time...and I still don't quite understand "Plasma", "Hidden variables", "Particle theory", Implicit vs Explicit order " other than one comes from the other, and relativity vs quantum theory.

Beyond Science

What I do get is that there is something beyond what contemporary science can explain that explains reality. There is an "undivided whole" and what we call our individual self is an "abstraction" of that whole.  I also get  that we cannot separate the observer from the observed bringing us to this understanding of consciousness that rings true for me.  There is one unifying force that exists and unifies all of us...what Einstein called, "The Field," what Andersen called the "Universal subconscious Mind," what Yoga refers to as the One True Self, what Buddhists refers to as "awareness",  what more Western religions would refer to as God and what many others who  are more scientifically minded  but willing to explore beyond science would call "consciousness".

Bohm and his contemporary  and spiritual teacher Krishnamurti explain that  thought is a powerful creative energy! On top of true creative and harmonious consciousness, however,  is a veil of "programming" and "conditioning" that gets established as (what I and Bruce Lipton call) "core beliefs".  These beliefs determine how we perceive the world, how we respond and react to it and are the source of all our problems in the world.

So how do we change the world for the better?

We change the programing, individually and collectively...it starts, however, in the so called "individual" mind.

How do we do that?

We stop looking outward to feel better about the mess our thinking is reacting to and somehow creating and turn inward.  We go to the programming, the core beliefs and change those.

How?

To do that we must first get through the veil that exists between the harmonious essence of who we really are, this indivisible wholeness, and the illusionary and fragmented world and separate self we are experiencing through our five senses.

Huh?

We observe our programming and reactivity to that programming through the mirror of relationship and feeling.  We watch how we react and respond to one another and the world at large. Our relationships reflect our inner worlds of thought and belief.  And we observe our feelings closely.  Feelings also reflect thought and belief  and are often a direct result of such.

By placing our attention and awareness on these two things we become the observer and the observed. We must become still to do so, to slip beyond the pull of thought that drags us "out there" into our doing, seeking, grasping, clinging and aversion.

Like scientists in a lab, we examine closely the phenomenon in front of us, assuming nothing, staying non bias as we watch and learn.  Since it is, in a sense, self  we are observing,  we eventually find the essence of who we really are beneath the "programming".  Just like the particles in the double slit theory react differently when observed, so will our egos.  They will lose their hold on us. The Self will then naturally emerge. Once many of us find that Self and operate from that one universal subconscious mind, from this field of infinite potential, from this Divine God nature...we can put an end to suffering and heal the world!

Of course, this reflects the Buddhist teachings, does it not? Everything is indeed connected!

All is well!

Full Film-The Life and Ideas of David Bohm (June 2020) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDpurdHKpb8

The Best David Bohm Interview (Sept 2015) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-jI0zzYgIE

What Is Beneath

Chipping Away

Sitting separate from the sculptor   in the center of this ever changing world,

You pose so elegantly, so stoically  and proudly  in your many layers of clay.

For a moment you  stand so tall, beaming  as this perfect image that you made

But find yourself gulping and blushing  when  the fingers of time begin to chip away

 

at your perfect,  protective armour , all the clay coatings that you identify as you

and you curse and swat away  the circumstantial prying digits that you blame

for picking so mercilessly at the fragile tender coverings and causing so much pain.

Sadly, the more that gets chipped away, the more you feel the  burning weight of shame.

 

What a defective piece of ornament, you figure, you must now appear  to be;

how broken and ugly you  have become  for having so many cracks and gaping holes.

Strategically you strive, then, to change the weather and strengthen  the protection that you wear,

not noticing  that what is being exposed  beneath each ugly chip,   is a perfect statue made of  gold.

 

© Dale-Lyn, July, 2020

Wow!  That imperfect piece of poetry came from listening to another lovely dharma talk from Tara Brach today on shame...one of my favorite topics ( Well I did write a book about it lol and it will get published someday even if it is by myself).  I love the story about the golden Buddha and this is the first time I see how it relates to the exposure of our true nature. 

 

I spend a lot of my time looking at and writing about  this  idea that we are covered in layers of protective armour , seeing ourselves as that armour ...identifying with it so much we will do anything to protect our protection...blaming others and life when it begins to chip away at it, so afraid of being less than and diminished because of that flawed outer self...experiencing  shame for its flaws...not realizing what lay within the armour... is so much more valuable and precious...so much more of who we truly are!

 

Hmmm!  Thanks Tara Brach, wherever you are,  for reminding me and inspiring me.

All is well!

 

Tara Brach (July1, 2020) Shame, Healing, and Transformation, with Tara Brach. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlFbtbivOLw

 

Real But Not True

To live inside the belief that "I am bad" or "you are bad" is suffering.
Tara Brach

I think I found a new mentor to add to the list of many mentors who have helped me to see clearly over the years.  Tara Brach, for some reason, has entered my life and seems like a much wiser, more evolved version of myself. lol ...well this "little self" I still tend to see me as.  Her teachings show up right when I seem to need them, perfectly applicable to whatever situation I am dealing with.  How cool is that?

I was feeling a couple of old core beliefs activated today when, Lo and behold, what video is there staring at me in the face when I open to you tube this morning (I begin each  day with an inspirational video/dharma talk  and select from the first three that show up)  but Tara Brach on Real but Not True: Freeing Self From Harmful Belief. Wow! Serendipity is so all around me lately when it comes to healing.  I ask for guidance and I receive.:)

I am going  to step into a vulnerable place and  use a little honest and open self disclosure here in hope that it will help someone, somewhere.

Concurrent Triggers

For some reason, one of the most joyous occasions in a woman's life, becoming a Nana, has triggered and activated this core belief that I am deficient, bad, harmful and unworthy.  Many of us have this belief.  Do you? Of course, this belief can be related back to the question, "Was I a good enough parent? Was I and am I there enough for my son and can I be there in  the best way possible for my grand daughter?"

 This belief activation   is compounded by the shame, deficiency and unworthiness I feel when it comes to health seeking.  The more I am reminded of what ego calls "unfairness" through other people's stories and my own physical symptoms I am gripped by a certain fear and anger.  I want to make someone else "bad" with a thought conviction.  This projection outward as "real" as it may be prevents me from feeling the absolute vulnerability of shame, deficiency and unworthiness.

Both situations have showed up concurrently ( days apart) and are leading to a compounded sense of suffering. They are here, I guess, to reinforce a need to look deeply into these core beliefs and loosen their hold on my life.

My reaction to photography failures was just a superficial distracting reaction that took my mind away to some degree from the core being level sense of inadequacy I have been carrying around with me for decades.  I really want to let go of these beliefs that have been making my perception of life so very heavy.  Though the thoughts and beliefs may keep popping into my head, I want to get to the point that I don't believe them!  And that is where Tara Brach comes in.

Freeing Ourselves From the Strangulating  Grip of Belief

In her video, she suggests that there are two things we need to do in order to free ourselves from our tendency to believe that which is harmful, that which is "real' in the sense that our nervous systems are wired to respond to this collective idea that we are separate little beings, vulnerable and at the mercy of a big bad world but at the same time  that which is "not true".

First thing we need to do is inquire, look deeply into the truth of each belief and secondly,  we need to do so from a place of spacious presence. Thich Nhat Hanh describes the second step as "wrapping the arms of mindfulness" around those things that are causing us to suffer, gently and compassionately allowing, embracing and then letting them go.

Byron Katie and Beyond

We can use the methodology of inquiry that Byron Katie discusses in  Loving What Is and we can take it a step further so that we can examine the illusionary nature of our thinking and believing.   Brach offers us a possible five questions we can ask ourselves when we determine the core belief that is infecting our Life.
1.What am I believing right now?
2. Is it possible that this belief is real but not true?
3. What is it like to live with this belief?  What is it like to be guided by this conceptual map?
4. What does this wounded place within me so badly need?  What will bring healing?
5. What would my  life experience be like if I wasn't living inside this belief?

As I question I know that my belief, as your beliefs might too,  takes on many forms of "I am bad!"  I know that this belief is real in the way my body responds to life because of it but I also know it is just a thought and thoughts are not true. I know that living with this belief has led to a great deal of suffering, fearfully pinching me  off, self protecting and closing down. It has led me to build one layer of ego redemption over the other in order to protect this wounded core, leaving me exhausted from having to walk around with this armour on all the time.  With those ego shells gone now...I feel red and raw but at least from here, healing can truly begin. This wounded place needs my loving and gentle attention, compassion and forgiveness.  It needs to be reassured that "I am not bad".  Removing the duality of judgment, of "right" or "wrong" , "good" or "  bad" from my experience will begin to bring healing.  Accepting myself as I am and life as life is will bring even more. If I wasn't living inside this belief I would be free, open, loving, confident, joyful, fearless, creative and fully alive! I would be the most loving imperfect flawed but real parent and grandparent...fully accepting of self and others, truly wise and present.  I would also know what this is in my body and I would be dealing with it head on...without fear, without shame or a need to blame or vindicate others.  I would be assertive in my health seeking not passive or aggressive...healing in the truest sense of the word!

Hmmm! What would your life be like without your core belief dragging you along?

All is well in my world.

Tara Brach (November 2017) Tara Brach on Real But Not True: Freeing  Ourselves From Harmful Beliefs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yn8c1ex_eWs

Byron Katie (2002) Loving What Is. New York: Three River Press

What I never was at all

That which I thought I was, ego, I never was at all, for it was a changing thing, mirroring the seasons and the tides, a thing to be born and grow and die.
Uell S. Andersen Three Magic Keys  Twelfth Meditation

The Ouch of a Reactivated Ego

I don't know why exactly, though I can guess at several reasons for it...but my ego is so inflamed and reactive right now.  It is "ouching" at everything and when there is no reason to "ouch" it goes on a wild ride to find a reason. I could guess that the circumstances in my Life are responsible for triggering ego or I could look to the body,  like the usual physical reaction I have to July heat and humidity and to add on to that menopause and about ten hot flashes/night sweats a night that leave me awake more than I am sleeping...as the cause .  (Don't worry...I already switched my bracelet to the other side and after one full complaint free week, I am beginning my 21day mission again today.)These things are legitimate...off-setted to some degree by the pleasant circumstance that has come into my life.  I am a Nana to a beautiful, healthy baby girl. Yet ego can be heard hissing in the background...criticizing everything I do or don't do, even in that regard. 

Ego and Photography

I see ego , at play, especially with photography. Though it is definitely amplified now with this emotional roller coaster I am presently on , I am realizing with a shock that photography  has always been an ego thing for me.   When I take good shots I get blown up a bit and when I "fail" at taking good shots that cause people to go "Wow!  What a shot!'  I deflate like a pricked balloon.

I am not a professional photographer , by any means.  I still use a couple of DSLR's rather than pro cameras.  And I have yet to master these shooter-friendly tools of the trade.  Yet I cling to this idea that "I am a good photographer" and I work hard to make that idea a reality. I do believe I have somewhat of an eye and sometimes I get some, what others would call, "Wow" shots because of that eye.

Ego can get in the way of our learning from mistakes

 I am still far from skilled enough to take consistently great pics.  I probably take much more "bad" pics than I do "good" pics. I have a lot, lot to learn.  The best way to learn, I rationally know,  is not through the great shots I take but the less than great shots.  Still...I am over sensitive to people's opinion of my pics and I think that gets in the way of me exposing the imperfect shots and learning from them, also it restricts me from exploring creatively...this eye...I believe I have and creating images that express what I like, regardless of other opinion. Ego still tells me "This is good!" and "This is bad!" and I listen.  And if the pic is bad than "I am a bad photographer" becomes my mantra.  Shamer ego is there to tell me I am an imperfect being.  And if the pic is good "I am a good photographer" is what I tell myself .  Redeemer Ego is there to blow my little sense of self up a bit.

Long story short...my son wanted me to get some pics of the baby in the hospital.  I was so flustered over seeing and holding my granddaughter for the first time, over the rushed situation ...visiting hours were coming to an end...and over a certain pressure to take good shots  that I didn't. ( Can you hear ego rationalizing? lol)  

I thought I got a couple that were okay, maybe even good enough to push shamer ego aside for redeemer ego.  When my daughters viewed them, however,  and commented by saying, "That one isn't bad, I guess."  I felt crushed. 

Ego jumped in with its rampage, "Who do you think you are...Ansel Adams?...Come on, step back and let someone with more skill...which would be anybody at all...take the pics.  Just because you have a couple of cameras and some good glass...doesn't mean you are a photographer by any means. That is just an idea you have in your head."  I now have this feeling that I let others down and myself down.

Just an Idea in the Head

Hmmm!  That is what ego is, isn't it?  Just an idea we have in our heads about who or what we are, an identity we cling to on the surface level.  It is also the use of adjectives and judgments, isn't it?  ...the good, the bad...the right, the wrong? As I have mentioned before, I believe, ego is as two faced as they come.  Shaming us one moment by placing a negative adjective in front of our labels and identified roles, redeeming us the next with a positive adjective.  But all of it is just thought, idea, judgment, concepts and terminology ...not actually what is or what we are!

I am not a good photographer.  I am not a  bad photographer. I am not even a photographer. I am just someone who likes to take pictures.  Sometimes those pictures are pleasant to me and others, sometimes they are less than pleasant and sometimes they just have a neutral effect..."Not bad".

Really not about the photography at all.

My happiness should never depend on me being identified as a "good photographer" by self or others. Your happiness should never depend on you being identified as a "good" baker, painter, doctor, accountant, grandmother or housekeeper  And when it is...there is something more at play than an evaluation of  skill.  Ego is getting involved, maybe, because it gets threatened when we get too close to discovering who we are beneath these labels, roles and identities we erroneously  take on as a self.

The Closer We Get to Truth, The More Desperate Ego Gets

I think I was taking another step towards transformation recently when Life stepped in to challenge me as it will do when we step closer to truth. Circumstances, sleep deprivation, the adoption of another role...led to a reactivation of ego, a now desperate and dying ego that wants to cling to whatever it can to ensure its survival. It got nasty in its desperation...the way an abuser often will when you make the effort to leave an unhealthy relationship. It was criticizing every role I thought was me to make me small and controllable, itself powerful again.

I realize though...that none of it is me.   My roles are not me.  Your ever changing roles and identities are not you. The adjectives used to describe you and your roles are not you either.  They are just words and concepts.

You are so much more than that.  You are that which exists beneath each role  the mind uses to limit you, to judge you and restrict you. You are unlimited spaciousness, creativity  and Love where no such judgments of good or bad exist.

Ego doesn't have to drag us back into "little me" need for shaming and redeeming. We can stand back and simply notice ego doing what it is doing in its attempt to prevent us from leaving it to go to that better place  "of being" we are all heading.

A Little Detachment from Our Roles

We do not need to be so attached to our "roles" and these "ideas" we have of who we are.  We can still perform them but from a detached spaciousness. Imagine performing our roles from that space, rather than from ego's.  Those times I luck into getting  a great shot...are times I was shooting from there without ego in the picture.  The times I am offering the most to others, be they strangers, my children or now my granddaughter, is done from the center of who I really am...not some "idea" I call me. Our roles do not need to define us or limit us!

Hmm! Isn't that something to think about?

All is well. .

Hope and Serendipity

Hope is the thing with feathers

that perches in the soul

and sings the song without the words

and never stops at all.

Emily Dickinson

 

 

I have yet to hold my grand daughter  but hopefully that will change today.  With COVID regulations and an exhausted Mom I patiently wait for the perfect time for all. For now, it is what it is. I will hold her soon enough.  :)

Emotions Arising

I have actually been a mixture of emotions this week. The news that came to may attention on Sunday evening about a loved one's future and the news about how an individual, who I  had repressed concern related to my treatment about, made similar decisions that affected another very negatively...left me reeling a bit.  Then the birth of my grand baby added another dimension to the up and down roller coaster in my mind. On top of that there was sleep deep and humid weather (that tends to effect my body in a negative way) to deal with.

Regardless of the story, the circumstances or the thinking reaction I had to them... I was feeling a little "off" all week.  Happy, excited, full of love,  and at the same time exhausted, worried, anxious, angry, resentful and very restless.

Ego says "Run!"

I have been trying to deal with all this and ego offered it's usual advice: "RUN!" It shouted.   "Escape into thought, story, dramatic validation, busy work, numbing, avoidance, denial, projecting outward, blaming etc. Push away the adverse and cling to the pleasant!"

Serendipity and Tara Brach

I was about to run until serendipity once again stepped in to help.  Serendipity brought Tara Brach into my life.  (Not literally, lol, she does not know I exist) but I was compelled this week  to buy and read "Radical Acceptance" which I am still doing.  As I continue to read this, seeking radical acceptance in my life,  I sit with the intense realization this morning that I also need a little hope.   Then when I flick on you tube to begin my practice of inspirational listening, right there in front of me is a video of hers.  I have never noticed other videos of hers before ..in fact I didn't even know of her until I saw this book I bought but as soon as I open up the YouTube page there she is. The video was  entitled "Spiritual Hope" .  It was like an OMG moment lol.

Hope for Real Hope

I asked for hope and I got it or at least a very obvious sign that I can have it...we all can.  And not the egoic hope that leads us in our attempts to manifest "things" of the external world that never satisfy for long...but that which helps us to open our hearts to all Life is, to trust which I realize I am having a hard time doing.

Skeptical Doubt

The source of my discontent is this deep feeling I have that I can not trust others (always anticipating situations like the one  I have encountered a few months back) , Life ( I stand on guard  wondering what other challenge it is going to throw at me, what other blessing it is going to strip away from me) and myself ( Can I get beyond my brokenness to  be more loving for self and others?  Will I be able to get beyond what is broken in me to  give this new child that has entered the world what a grandmother should?).  This all came to the surface while I was listening and reflecting on the video.

  This, what I am experiencing, leading to a series of negative emotions and thought experiences  is what Thich Nhat Hanh calls " skeptical Doubt."  And doubt is the opposite of hope, isn't it?  The opposite of trust.

Though I have been getting glimpses of egoic hope over the years, I knew to my core that this hope would not sustain or lead me to fulfillment.  Still I attempted to manifest with my thinking. I would almost beat myself up for not manifesting "enough good things" for myself or others, blaming myself for thinking less than positive thoughts. The heaviness I have been carrying with me, based on stored memory of past experiences, has left me with a certain hopelessness, a doubting so pervasive I have stuffed it way down deep.... and that has interfered with my ability to maintain positive hopeful thoughts for my self, others and Life.

A Big Yellow Doorway

 I at first thought that skeptical doubt was in the way of my getting what I really, really want...peace of mind, an open Loving heart, freedom from the second and third arrows of suffering. Now, after hearing Tara Brach  speak and reading her words,  I see that this doubt arising to the surface of my awareness can actually be a big yellow  doorway to "spiritual hope".   Ya...that is it.

Pushing away negative thinking, denying a certain internally stuffed suffering, telling ourselves we have hope when we have an underlying vulnerability to doubt...is not how we get what we truly want from Life; it is not how we transform. Recognizing, allowing, embracing this doubt  and vulnerability with awareness and compassion will allow us to find the hope that we are made of.

And the serendipity by which this realization came into my life is enough to offer such hope, isn't it?

Hmm!

All is well in my world.

Tara Brach (2003) Radical Acceptance. Toronto: Bantam

Tara Brach (June 2020) Spiritual Hope with Tara Brach. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9erb6HJWP-0

Happy Canada Day!!

A mighty truth is at the center of my consciousness, where no work is difficult, where peace always reigns, where all things are possible.
Uell S. Andersen  Ninth Meditation

My first grand baby is entering the world as I write this. I hope she has her father's kind and compassionate heart.

A Canada Day baby!!  For that reason alone, she will have to have his red hair then, don't you think?   :)

All is well.

Complete Confidence

I have complete confidence in the wisdom and the power of the Universal Subconscious Mind. I do not predict the manner in which each of my thoughts will manifest; I have complete faith that God moves in the most perfect manner.
Andersen, Uell S

Did I Complain?

Two full days in without complaint  and that may be debatable.  Last evening, I had to question if I had complained or not.  I had an unexpected visitor who wanted to discuss some issues regarding our children.  It was a heavy conversation because the topic matter was heavy but I think I remained honest, to the point, pragmatic and open during the conversation.  I felt genuine compassion and loving kindness toward her and her view point. I also felt compassion for myself and the two individuals involved. Though there was a lot of "concern" on my part, there was also a direct intention to stay positive especially with what I said.

I did stress that the system, as it presently is, is deficient in its ability to provide much needed resources but that honestly did not "feel" like a complaint.  I was  stating a fact with the hope of finding a way around the deficit.

I am not saying this conversation did not bring me down or lead to a certain amount of stress.  It did.  I felt the familiar heaviness of worry and negativity come over me...but...I did not vocalize it ( as far as I can remember)  and that is the measurable criteria for switching wrists. 

Getting Beyond Triggers?

Also during this conversation, another issue was inadvertently brought up regarding the individual whom I felt was getting in the way of me getting a proper diagnosis for this mass I had discovered in November.  (I have written about it extensively in December, January and February)  I was reminded by this individual  of what I suspected then....that I could not have been the only person his seemingly  ego-based judgments were impacting. Others were being hurt by these judgments.  I did not complain outwardly about this person.  I did not relay my story.  I just mentioned that I knew that his judgments have  negatively impacted others and stated that eventually his behaviours  will all come to public light and these situations will be dealt with and  prevented from happening in the future....without our need to make official complaints. I did not see that as a complaint. Still not sure though if I alluded to more with nuances or judgement.  I am giving myself the benefit of the doubt on this one and keeping the elastic where it is.

This conversation  did trigger in me some old fear and anger related to the  situation and I began to wonder again if his lack of a proper diagnosis was allowing something in me  to go untreated for too long.  I did not speak outwardly of this but brought myself back to breath and being.  I reminded myself:  I do not have to put any energy into trusting  his judgment or doubting it.  He , after all, has so little power over my wellness.  I just have to put this in the hands of God and trust that it is all being taken care of. I Let go and Let God!

So I am going to say, I have two full days in.

How cool is that?   

Andersen, Uell S.. Three Magic Words . BN Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Don't Resist; Just Refocus

Across my consciousness comes a constant procession of thoughts and I observe them. I do not make up these thoughts - I know they come from the Universal Subconscious Mind, and I watch as they are presented to me. I slow the train of thoughts. I examine each of them, then let go, neither accepting nor rejecting.
Andersen, Uell S.. Three Magic Words ....Sixth Meditation

What we resist persists

The more we fight the mind and resist the thoughts that show up on it...the more the mind fights back.  Did you ever notice that?

If I told you right now not "to think of ice-cream...to close your eyes and think whatever comes up but not about ice cream. Okay...now when you open your eyes, for one full hour,  you can think of whatever you want but not ice cream!

How did you make out? My guess is the first thing you thought of was probably ice-cream and that thought kept popping up for that hour.  Why?  Because what we resist persists.

We Are Not Putting the Thoughts in Our Minds

We also have to remember that we, as separate little selves, are not creating our  own individual thoughts.  We are just tapping into a storehouse of thoughts, feelings and experiences already established in the universal sub-conscious mind we all share. The thoughts of ice-cream  are already there.  We just water them and allow them to grow with our focus and attention.

Resistance Makes Our Thoughts Grow Stronger

When I told you "not" to think of ice-cream " ... you ended up watering ice-cream because you were focusing on "not"  watering it. Ice-cream kept getting watered the more you resisted thinking about it until it grew into and it became something your conscious mind created.  Resistance was the "vita-grow" enriched water you poured over the seed of this thought. It grew into your conscious mind.

 And what you may have noticed, as well, the more you resisted thinking about ice-cream, the more the thought grew in the conscious mind...and...the more evidence of ice-cream you may notice in the external environment.  In that one hour, you may have run into ads or commercials about ice-cream, the ice cream truck will come by, the store will announce a 2 for 1 sale on their tubs of ice-cream.  People everywhere will be eating ice cream.

Resistance is often more powerful than intention.  It is important to know that when you avoid  looking at your bills; stuffing pain away so you or others can't see it or struggle against the way something currently is.

The object is not to resist that which you do not want in your mind and therefore in your life,  but to realize it has nothing to do with you.  That thought of ice-cream or money is in the collective universal subconscious. You didn't put it there and you are not responsible for getting it out of there.  All you have to do is decide if it is something you want to water and see growing or something you want to let go of, so you can focus that powerful attention on something you want in your life.

Allow All Thoughts to Pass By

So allow all your thoughts to just pass by as you observe them without judgment.  Recognize them, don't deny them or push them away. Just allow them to be. If they are sticky and tenacious pick them up and hold them close for second before sending them back on their way. Do not accept or reject any of them as more of a passing thought. 

When you see "ice-cream" or whatever thought, feeling or "problematic" experience you have been trying to avoid...recognize it, allow it, and embrace it.  You can when you are ready look deeply into the causes of it...but only when you mastered the letting go part. Let it go...just let it go with a "this does not serve me now and it will not serve me or others in the future".  Allow it to pass by.

Refocus your Attention

Now place your attention on what you do want. A loving thought, a giving thought, a healthy thought, feeling or experience passes by...recognize that  (How?  It makes you feel good!) , allow that, and refocus your attention on it...hold it  to your chest without clinging or grasping and then let it go with the affirmation, and the faith and the trust that you will see more of this thought and feeling thing in your mind and in your life.

Hmmm!  This is what healing the mind/healing our lives is all about, according to Uell S. Andersen.  Kind of makes sense , doesn't it?

All is well.

Andersen, Uell S.. Three Magic Words . BN Publishing. Kindle Edition

Grasping or Guided

Each day is another step on my journey to a oneness with God. I do not seek; I know. I do not strive; I am guided.
Andersen, Uell S...Fifth Meditation

So Much Learning

So much learning I am absorbing and I just cannot seem to get enough. I find myself reaching out( now that isn't good is it, lol?) for all the teachings that are showing up around me, so many different perspectives, so many different approaches yet with One Truth connecting them all.

Thirsty

I am thirsty for that Truth and no matter how much I seem to drink, the thirst doesn't go away.  It is a thirst that I am loving the process of quenching! I want more...I read more...I listen to more...I go inward more...I am so very thirsty for it all. 

Yet, there are times I have to ask if I am absorbing any of it or if I am like some strainer riddled with holes and all this precious knowledge  slips right out the moment it comes in. There is just so much that I am taking in so quickly, you know?  How can anyone absorb that much? Like I read four such books in  a little over a week and I have more on my desk and in the Kindle waiting to be read.

Is this "grasping"? 


I have to ask this...honestly.  Is it?

Inward Searching

The  difference here compared to the grasping I have done in the past, is this  is an inward searching...sure I am looking for pointers "out there" but I know where these things point to.  These pointers won't delude me by telling me I need to make a life for myself "out there".  The pointers  take me to where I want to be.  I want to make a Life for myself in here.

Loving The Process

And it isn't a desperate grasping...where I am looking for something to fix me ...fill in my incompleteness right away...where the  thing I seek is simply a means to an end and where I am fixed only on the outcome.  I am enjoying being in each of these precious moments of learning ...I am loving the process. I am loving the learning.

Universal Support

With this thing that some may define as grasping...I seem to have the Universe on my side.  It is like all of Life circumstance's have molded  an educational  path for me to walk on. The slowing down because of a perceived health issue, the loss of my job and a social level of productivity, my more or less being spat out of the rat race with a lot of real life issues to process through...has led me here to this desire to transform suffering.  It is like all these learning tools just showed up at the exact time I needed them....one lead to another, and another, and another.  

Am I learning?

For me teaching and writing is how I learn.  It is like the writing suddenly came easy, especially around this subject.  Man...the poetry just slips out as evidence that I am absorbing something, somehow. ( Whether anyone sees it as good or bad...is irrelevant ...it is a measure of my learning.)

I realize that I am not grasping in an unhealthy way...I am not seeking; I am realizing that I know more than I thought I did.  I am realizing and remembering. And   I am not striving to get to that place of unruffled and placid waters, I am simply being guided there.

How cool is that?

All is well in my world!


Andersen, Uell S.. Three Magic Words . BN Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Unruffled and Placid Waters

If your mind is beautiful, then all of Life is beautiful.
Michael Singer

...in the recesses of my being, there is utter calm, a place of unruffled and placid waters, where the truth is apparent and the clamor of the world does not exist.
-Fourth Meditation; Three Magic Words

 

How beautiful is that?  Is your mind beautiful?

The Space Within

Within everyone of us is that space; that serene place of "unruffled and placid waters" and this place is our reality, not the world we look out upon with these very limited organs of vision on our heads. When will we get that?

Listening to  both Michael Singer and Eckhart Tolle  today in a couple of videos ( see links below) I was reminded of how this beautiful place is within us all...and it is the only place where true lasting joy exists. 

How The Mind Hides This Place

We too often  feel that this mind-space within us is anything but unruffled.  In fact, we often perceive it to be  raging like a tsunami.  We also have it in our heads that  we need to manipulate, fix, control, take from or distract with  the world outside of us in order to make this internal chaos calm down when that is not the case at all.

The conceptual and egoic parts of our mind will make us uneasy , will lead us 'out there' for answers and solutions to the chaos it, itself, creates and it will also place a veil of 'conceptual knowing'  over the  forever  unchanging " unruffled and placid waters " of our inner being. It will make our minds anything but beautiful if we give it the reins.

There is a place of calm, however, that exists beneath the conceptual mind, beneath the ego, beneath all our mixed up thinking, outward seeking and complaining.  We do not need to go 'out there' to end suffering...we just need to sink deeper into what is and always has been within us...our very being in this very moment. We do that by removing the veil from that which is.  We cut through the negative thinking, the complaining, the struggling and resisting the  habitual mind is programmed to do...so we can float in those unruffled placid waters.

The Process of Discovering

It is a process and as we give up say, for example, our habit of complaining, as I am attempting to do...we will see that it is challenging  to break through such conditioned habits of perceiving and behaving. It is a process.  I had to switch wrists four times in 24 hours lol. 

It is also very important to be self compassionate as we progress to a heightened state of positivity and openness. We do not beat ourselves up for our slip ups which are bound to come...we do not punish ourselves for it...we learn from each complaint and love ourselves into those placid waters.  Self compassion is called for.

I started my daughter on this challenge today and she assumed as I was placing the elastic ceremoniously and humorously on her wrist, that she was suppose to snap the elastic against herself every time she complained.  she thought each complaint deserves a punishment. I told her that each complaint deserve a big "thank you."

Proceed with Self Compassion

This is what the mind conditions us to do...to punish ourselves for our errors in judgement, for our lack of perfection etc.  It expects and demands a struggle to succeed, a fight against something which is often others or ourselves.  This challenge  is not a battle ...it is a letting go and an opening to a better way of living. It took time to build up this mental behavioural habits and it will take time to dismantle them so we can see and experience, once and for all,  what lay beneath them.

Keep your eyes on the prize, I tell myself and her as we switch from wrist to wrist.  The prize is peace, joy, happiness and real Love.  It is also connection to something much grander than "little me" could ever offer us.  The prize is  a connection to our Source, a connection to all we are. Hmmm!

You are a Ripple

I read another line from Bowen's book as I was coming to the end of it that reminded me , as the expression of the Poem "Just a Little Ripple?" did as it came through me... You are a ripple in the great ocean of humanity that resounds around the world. You are a blessing.

All is well.

Andersen, Uell S.. Three Magic Words . BN Publishing. Kindle Edition.
Andersen,

Bowen, Will. A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted (p. 272). Potter/TenSpeed/Harmony. Kindle Edition.

Michael Singer ( May 2020) Why We suffer-Mindfulness Training with Michael A. Singer. SoundsTrue https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtr21LqHKcs

Eckhart Tolle (October, 2019) The Power of Inner Stillness. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoW_cPx_638

Early Morning Stillness

It is in the quiet stillness
of early morning
that I find
what I am looking for.
A feeling of completeness
uncurls in my being,
pushing past the years
of fear and guilt
that have been imprinted
as "Necessary"
on my weary mind.
In the timeless space between
the thinking and the doing,
I find more precious emptiness,
a nothingness so perfect
in its fullness,
that I hold my breath
and wait for it to consume me.
It fills me with a wisdom
that cannot be spoken,
only known.

© Dale-Lyn 2010

 

This came to me, years ago, when things in my life were really starting to shift and I felt so unsettled. I seemed to be losing control of my health, my children, my ego and my family...My sister was also  diagnosed with cancer at that time.  This little poem, I think, marked the beginning of my awakening...or at least a big step toward deeper awakening.  

I put it  in a little book of poems I did up for my sister.   It was half a symbolic gift of hope for her and a silly vanity project ( which I am very embarrassed about lol) to help restore  my ego as it seemed to be, to my horror at the time, slowly dying.

Ego,  is still here,   clinging to a few dying breaths.  And my beautiful sister,  is alive and well ten years later. I am much more awake now. I can actually understand what this poem means now which I couldn't do then.  Go figure.

Anyway, I literally just came across this ten minutes ago and had the urge to put it here.  It is all good!

The Non-Error of Complaint

I deny error; it is simply progress toward truth.  I know that it is impossible to fail when faith is present.
Uell S. Andersen, Third Meditation in Three Magic Words

  Not as easy as it looks to get two days, let alone 21 days, of complaint free living in. I did get 24 hours in though...yeah!! I then had to switch my bracelet twice.

Please know that what comes from my mouth is only like  10 % of what I got going on in my mind.  I am far from evolved away from any negative thinking.  I have just learned to control, to some extent, what I allow to come "out" of me. The outspoken complaint, which is so much easier to monitor than all those negative thoughts, allows me to see what I got swirling around in my head.

Bowen describes that which distinguishes a  complaint  from a non complaining statement  in  A Complaint Free world, as the meaning and the energy behind them.It isn't  that the things I say are all that "complainy" in the context of what most of us would call a complaint but the energy behind what I say outwardly is quite negative.  Once the words are spoken out loud to myself or others...I can retrace them back to the negativity that begot them. That is what is so cool about this experiment. 

For example today, when I was attempting to tie the dogs outside, I could not find the tie-outs and heard myself saying to a person who wasn't even there, "You better not have taken them to tie up things on your truck!" This may seem like no more than a simple wish.   The energy behind it, however,  was one of resentment and resistance indeed making it a complaint. 


Resentment

Instantly the little circumstance led me to recall all the "other" times this individual , in a state of unawareness or what some might call "thoughtlessness or unconsciousness"  did not take into consideration the value  "things" may have for other people. These past behaviours were totally non malicious in anyway but leading to a certain amount of unintended suffering ( however minor) for someone else. Having the tie outs means that I can not tie up the dogs outside all day which proves to be inconvenient for me and the dogs.

Now I am not even sure he has them.  I am creating my little complaint/reaction on an assumption based on  memory of past behaviours.  The big learning here gained from examining this complaint  is  that I am still clinging to past resentments in my resentment bank, of what my ego likes to label as "inconsiderate and disrespectful" behaviours of others. So as soon as I see a situation that differs from what I thought I wanted, this resentment is triggered. The complaint has moved that resentment from the thought realm to the realm of external awareness.

Resistance to What Is

Another thing that differentiates complaint from a statement of fact is a certain energy of resistance to what is.  "He better not"...is equivalent to an "Oh No!" , a "This shouldn't be", or a "This is not fair or right!". 

When we complain we are resisting what the moment has for us.  When we resist what the moment has for us , we resist the moment.  And when we resist the moment, guess what?  We resist Life. This complaint showed me that I was resisting Life! I don't want to do that even for a second.

So this small little wish definitely deserved a wrist switching.  And what a wonderful opportunity to present to me my own resentment and resistance.  Once I am aware of it I can work on letting go of it. Right?

The non-complaint and drama free statement I could have responded with, one that  Life, the almighty teacher,  would give me a gold star for, could have been: "Hmmm!  I don't know where the tie outs are.  Maybe D. has them because he has taken similar things before without thinking but maybe he doesn't.  The fact remains that I have no tie outs.  There is no "better not" or "shouldn't be" about this.  It just is."

Hmmm!

So I am switching wrists and beginning all over again, and again and again. What seems like error on our  part when we have to switch wrists is actually just progress toward truth! How cool is that?

All is well in my world!


Bowen, Will. A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted . Potter/TenSpeed/Harmony. Kindle Edition.

Learning from Complaining

There are only two things you can do for yourself. One is conception, and the other is conviction. All the work of creation rests with another than you. For no man is responsible for anything in this life except his thought and his belief.
Andersen, Uell S..

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines “complain” as “to express grief, pain, or discontent.”...By its very definition, a complaint is spoken.
Bowen, Will.

Switching Wrists

Well I am now wearing the elastic I had placed on my left wrist yesterday, on my right.  :) All good.  I love this exercise because it gets me examining my internal and external behaviours. I was actually quite surprised to discover that I do pretty good in the "outward complaining" department.  I caught myself three times and though  others said "no" when I sought to validate my complaining by asking "Was that  a complaint?"; and though they may not obviously express grief, pain or discontent ...I recorded these three things as complaints because of the negativity factor.  Three complaints in 24 hours is pretty good, don't you think? And yes I am recording my complaints so I can better understand them and restructure those mental formations in my mind that are less than positive.

First Two Complaints Based On Assumption and Bias

The first two came during a certain intense frustration last evening looking for an individual who was scheduled to go into rehab today after a year long wait to get in.  He went on  a seven day pre-rehab binge and we couldn't find him anywhere. This individual will literally die if he does not recover.  And though that sounds like a negative statement and a complaint in itself, I can assure you it is a simple fact.

So while we were looking all over the area for him, I could feel familiar frustration, fear and worry...anger and resentment brewing to the surface but I was very "cool" about the whole thing.  That is until my suspicious, past conditioned  and assuming mind stepped up to question the behaviour of one of his friends who went out of his way to help us find him.  I questioned out loud , "I wonder what his real motivation for helping us was? Was there something in that apartment he didn't want us to see?"  I "assumed" he too was an addict, and as an "addict" he would want all addicts to stay addicts and his motive for getting into the car with us had to be for some other reason then helping us get his friend into recovery. The words that came out of my mouth, helped me to see what kinds of seeds were growing from my store consciousness.

Shortly after that, as we were reviewing the days events to determine the possible where abouts of this individual we were looking for, D. mentioned a few things this individual had said to him.  I found myself calmly shaking my head saying, "You know we cannot believe a word he says when he is using like this."

Man...how negative is that...to dismiss the core goodness of  human beings to their exterior conditions? To stigmatize and stereotype a group of individuals, who are inflicted in this way, as selfish and uncaring and always lying. Yes desperation for a certain survival leads some  individuals who are severely addicted to do some dishonest and less than ethical things....but to "absolute" everything is unfair.  

Recognizing that I did that ( whether there was an ulterior motive for helping or not; whether he lied or not) really knocked some sense into me about a conditioned belief/ seed/ prompter within my mind. I do not want to water that seed any more.  I am not going to beat myself up for it, either.  I am just going to observe it, and learn from it.  Hopefully, I will be more compassionate and grateful as I look at individuals who suffer from such life threatening and desperation inducing conditions with less prejudice and assumption in the future.

The third complaint came this morning when I, because of a hot humid environment, and extra hot flashes as well as post crisis anxiety...slept less than well, (what I just wrote was a complaint, wasn't it?) received a call at 7a m ( after I just fell asleep again) from my daughter who was looking for money for gas.  Now there is a lot of extras around this request that I will not get into but I will just say...that in my blurry eyed and grumpy state I was not nice.  I said nothing except, "Ohhhh A." followed by a big pathetic sigh.  And I believe I hung up without saying  the usual "goodbye and, love you".

Needless to say my elastic has a new home and I begin again lol.

It is all good.  It may take me a while to get my 21 days of complaint free living in, to break the habit of complaining once and for all, but I am determined to.  In the process , I get to learn so much more about my mind.  How cool is that?


All is well.

Andersen, Uell S.. Three Magic Words . BN Publishing. Kindle Edition.


Bowen, Will. A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted (p. 28). Potter/TenSpeed/Harmony. Kindle Edition.

To Live Positively: Stop Complaining

Conceptual habits of the Conscious Mind are the greatest bar to man's discovery of himself.
Andersen, Uell S..


When you stop complaining about what you perceive to be wrong and begin to speak about what you are grateful for and what you desire, you force your manufacturer brain to develop a new product line.

Bowen, Will.  (p. 29).

 

I know, like this pear tree branch, I have the capacity to reach higher. We all do!

I am going to begin my challenge. I am going to use the teachings from Andersen's book and especially the meditations to help build faith and purpose as I attempt to become more positive in my thinking. 

I am also going to use the simplified suggestions in A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen to make it a more measurable experiment. I presently have an elastic bracelet on my wrist and am going to focus on getting 21 consecutive days of outwardly spoken complaint-free habit (much easier to control and measure than thought)  into  my life.

And, of course,  I will still adhere to the teachings of my "go-to" mentors ( who do not know they are my mentors) namely, Eckhart Tolle, Thich Nhat Hanh and Michael Singer.

Hmmm!

I will keep you posted.

All is well in my world!


Andersen, Uell S.. Three Magic Words . BN Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Bowen, Will. A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted (p. 29). Potter/TenSpeed/Harmony. Kindle Edition.

Just a Little Ripple?

Just a Little Ripple?

Just a  little ripple...
emerging
into existence
from the vastness of ocean.
Floating under a spacious sky
that is forever changing.
Seemingly vulnerable,
blown in this direction
and that,  
at the mercy
of wind and rain
and the ocean's own
fierce and unforgiving  nature.
Seemingly alone,
struggling and competing
as a separate entity,
amongst a surface of
many "other" competing ripples. 
The little ripple bobs up and down
determined to get
to some unseen shore
up ahead  in the distance.  

Struggling,
fighting,
resisting,
all that pours and blows upon it,
pushing back
all the other ripples to do so, 
the little ripple
may someday succeed.
It may become 

a spray of salty foam
upon the shore
it thought would save it,
 only to  discover
that no salvation can be found
amongst the rock and sand.

It will see, 

in its exhausted state,
that it is water 

belonging in water
and with that realization
will  gently  be  pulled back
into the  depth
that  is and always will be "home".

Once the little ripple sees itself
and all the ripples
that surround it,  
as the ocean...
all struggling will cease.
Peace will finally
be experienced by all
when the mighty,
patient ocean sees
It's perfect powerful Self
reflected beautifully
in each tiny little ripple.

© Dale-Lyn (Pen) , June 2020

 

I don't know lol!  This came out, and not all that easily or gracefully , after listening to the below video.  Hmm!  Not going to judge.  I will put it down and possibly come back to it. I don't know lol

 

All is well!
Eckhart Tolle (June, 2020) Eckhart Tolle Special Live Teaching/ Conscious Manifestation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8G46F9ye204

Lesson 190-200

It is your thoughts alone that cause you pain. Nothing external to your mind can hurt or injure you in anyway.
ACIM-W-190: 5: 1-2

To alter your life the only single course open is to alter your thinking!
Andersen, Uell S..

Hmmm! This is what I have been contemplating as I finish reading Andersen's book.  I see how ACIM supports a lot of his teachings.  It seems fitting to write of my understanding of the next ten lessons.  (I have been neglecting to finish this mission, so wrapped up was I in other things.  My bad! :))

Lesson 190

This lesson speaks to the fact that it is thought and thought alone that causes pain...namely an incorrect perception  It  goes on to make a very strong statement that if we believe pain is a real thing...namely some random external thing that has the power to hurt us, than we cannot truly believe in God. If God is real, there is no pain. If pain is real, there is no God. (I have to think about that statement before I comment further.) The lesson goes on to say that the world seems to be causing us pain, but the world is cause less.  It is we  that create the world with our unskillful thinking, so it is  we that create pain with our thinking. Pain is illusion; joy reality. Pain is but sleep; joy is awakening. Peace is deception; joy alone is truth. (Peace is deception?  Have to think about that one too but I am assuming right off that A Course is referring to ego's "idea" of peace, not peace itself)When we realize who we truly are and from Whom we came...we will realize this and no longer suffer pain.

This coincides beautifully with what I read from Andersen today:

Once we have come far enough to realize that all pain-physical, mental, and emotional-proceeds from errors in thinking, we are well on the way to filling our lives with vigor, abundance and joy...
Chapter 11

Lesson 191

This lesson speaks to how we have denied  our identities as "the holy son of God Himself." It teaches that if we could only believe, what I am already guessing the three magic words from Andersen's book, are alluding to...We would be free from all our illusions of this world that we created with our minds.  We would be free of suffering by realizing our Oneness with everything.

Lesson 192

In this lesson we are reminded that our function, while here in physical form,  is forgiveness.  Until we completely evolve as a race...we will need forgiveness as a means of letting go of all our illusions. We are to forgive others as well as our selves for our errors in thinking and judgment which  result in our actions. Only thinking can relieve the mind of thinking that the body is its home.

Lesson 193

Lesson 193 offers us lessons God would have us learn in order to correct our erroneous perceptions. The major point behind the lessons is Forgive, and you will see this differently. When we perceive ourselves to be suffering because of circumstance or others we are in bondage.  All we need to do to free ourselves is to remember these words and learn to believe them. Forgive !  Forgive!  Forgive!

Lesson 194

Here we are asked to let the future go and place it in God's Hands.  Instead of worrying anxiously over what tomorrow may or may not bring, we are encouraged to simply Let go and Let God! The world and our brother will stop appearing, then, to be the enemy.  We will be free.

Lesson 195

In this lesson we are taught to be sincerely grateful through Love.  Knowing that our freedom from bondage will bring everyone to freedom we walk the road to god in Love.

Lesson 196

Despite the lies ego tells us, we need to know that when we hurt another, we hurt ourselves.  We do not fear others, we fear ourselves and when we realize this we can step back away from fear and into Love. Love allows us to see how w are all One.

Lesson 197

Keeping on the thought stream that we are really all One, this lesson teaches that when we are grateful it is us that earn the gratitude. When we accept the gifts we have been given gratefully they are accepted by all.

Lesson 198

Forgive, don't condemn!

When we condemn another, we end up injuring ourselves by accepting this illusionary possibility. Since there is no form of suffering that can hide an unforgiving thought; there is no form of pain that forgiveness cannot heal.  All we have to do is forgive.

Lesson 199

When we realize we are not bodies, the mind is set free.  We are not trapped within the body, we are spirit that uses mind.  Ego may tell us we are trapped in physical form to create fear but when our mind's are free to serve God and the Holy spirit, there can be no more attack thoughts or no more fear.

Love will flow in such a free mind.

Lesson 200

We will find happiness and peace nowhere but with God.  We just need to realize that this world is not where we belong and  what it offers will not bring us eternal peace.  We need to forgive ourselves for our illusions and delusions and Go home.

I think of Thich Nhat Hanh's Gatha for walking meditation as I review these lessons:

I have arrived; I am home

In the here; in  the now.

I am solid; I am free.

In the ultimate I dwell.

(peace is every breath, page 30)

 

The Review

 

In the review for the last 20 lessons, ACIM encourages us to begin our cognitive restructuring for the purposes of finding "home" and dwelling in the "Ultimate".  It asks that we use this statement when we find ourselves dwelling on thoughts that are directed by ego, dragging us back into fear, anger, despair and hopelessness.

 

This thought I do not want. I choose instead___________________

 

 

We can fill in that blank with: 

I am not a body.  I am free. For I am still as God created me.

All is well!

ACIM ( 2007)  A Course in Miracles Combined Volume.  Workbook. Foundation For Inner Peace.

Andersen, Uell S.. Three Magic Words . BN Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Thich Nhat Hanh (2011) peace is every breath. Harper One.

The Only Cure for A Different Kind of Poverty

 

The greatest disease in the west today in not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love.  There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread but there are many more dying for a little love.  The poverty in the West is a different type of poverty-it is not only a poverty of loneliness but also of spirituality.

-Mother Teresa

Yesterday's post wasn't just about   my daughter's friend, or about little me as the "I" though I certainly visualized him as the poem was being written and sincerely wished that I or someone could have been there . ( Notice how I say..."the poem was being written",  rather than, "when I was writing the poem."? I am seeing more and more myself as only a tool, a conduit for what Andersen refers to as "universal mind" to pour through. All I can "do" is come to the page or the person suffering and stay open.)

The poem  was written, I believe, as a way of expressing the importance of  human connection, of being there for others so they know they are not alone.  We are all responsible for suffering in this world...and we all carry the capacity to transform it with us. Compassion not only can help others feel understood, it can open the listener up too, open the hearts of all beings up to the greatest and most powerful force in this world- Love.  We owe that compassion to every single being on this planet, including ourselves.  Hmmm!


I owe a lot of that inspiration that sat me down and opened me enough so the poem could come through to Thich Nhat Hanh and his teachings on "Listening deeply".

I am not asking people to feel guilty and ashamed of how we have and do handle suffering.  I am just asking that we look deeply into how we handle suffering.  Determine what was unhealthy and non beneficial in the past in getting us to where we really want to be...a state of openness to Love, joy and all the things, I believe,  God wants for us.

Has denying and turning our backs on suffering worked for us so far?  Maybe for all of a minute but no...we can not run away from the inevitabilities in life.  Instead of putting all our energy into running away from suffering, pushing away suffering, struggling against suffering, denying and stuffing suffering...we need to recognize it, accept it and embrace it.  Then we can look deeply into it so we can transform it.  I truly believe this is the way to go...for each and every one of us.

Hmm...But then again, what do I know for sure?  Absolutely nothing.  :)

All is well.