Lesson 41-50: Wherever You Go

You can never be deprived of your perfect holiness because its Source goes with you wherever you go.  You can never suffer because the Source of all joy goes with you wherever you go.  You can never be alone because the source of all life goes with you wherever you go.  Nothing can destroy your peace of mind because God goes with you wherever you go.
ACIM-W-41: 4:1-4

Not Separated From Source

Wow!  If we all knew the truth of the above statement there would be a lot less suffering, a lot less depression, anxiety, loneliness and the tragic results of such suffering in the world, wouldn't there be?

 As Lesson 41 teaches, the reason why there is so much of this suffering in the world is because  we mistakenly feel separated from the one thing that can save us ( without knowing we feel this way).  The thing is... we are not separated. The mind just convinces us we are alone in this big scary world.  We aren't separated and we cannot be...

We are ripples and rays which are not only parts of something greater but are it. We are all parts of this One consciousness and cannot be separated from it or from each other because of that.

This lesson echoes the teachings of  Yoga and of  the Noble Truths of Buddhism.  Yes... there is suffering but only because of what our minds are doing. The cause of suffering is in our minds and the solution is there too.

Deep within you is everything that is perfect, ready to radiate through you and out into the world.  It will cure all sorrow and pain and fear and loss because it will heal the mind that thought these things were real, and suffered out of allegiance to them. ACIM-W-41:3:1-2

So in this lesson, we are guided to remember the truth and to reach out to God with God goes with me wherever I go,as we meditate quietly for five minutes in the morning. and remind ourselves of this truth throughout the day.

Strength and Vision

In Lesson 42, we are reminded that God is my strength.  Vision is His Gift. We are asked to repeat this idea very slowly to ourselves two times a day for about five minutes each time.  We begin my looking around with eyes open and then closing our eyes, while we randomly think of thoughts that relate to this idea. We are to just let the thoughts come without actively trying to think them up...to just allow whatever learning that is there come into our minds.

Beyond The Eyes' Perception

In the next lesson, the distinction between perception and true knowing is made.  Perception is of the human mind, not of God.  It has no function in God and therefore really does not exist.  Yet it  is what the ego uses as we maneuver around this world of form. 

It is with perception that we separate ourselves from God in a sense, with bodily borders we are made aware of by our five senses. We think we, in these minute little forms, are seeing, hearing, smelling etc  separately from all else...when in reality what we see with our eyes, which is merely a perception of the body,  is not real seeing. Because we cannot see apart from God we cannot really see. 

We are asked to look about our environment  three times this day...God is my Source.  I cannot see this_____apart from Him...as we allow our eyes to fall indiscriminately on whatever they fall on.  Then we close our eyes and with this idea in mind we allow whatever relevant thoughts related to this to come into mind as we imagine how God would view the world.  For example we may think, I see the world as blessed. (Lesson 43)

Light Within

In Lesson 44 we are asked to remember that light is within us, not without.  We really do all our seeing inside.  The mechanisms that processes light so we see visual images takes place within the body,  but more importantly, God is the light in which I see. Because light and life must go together and we cannot create light this exercise attempts to train us to reach the light.  The training involves standing aside from the ego and meditating three times this day for five minutes.  We are to simply sit with eyes opened then closed observing passing thoughts.

Real Thoughts

In the next lesson, we go a little deeper into the process of getting beyond our thinking to what is real.  We are reminded that nothing that we think we see resembles real vision...what the Mind of God would see.

Through three five minute meditation practises, we are asked to try to  reach our real thoughts. My real thoughts are in my mind.  I would like to find them. Beneath all the mental clutter or what Patanjali referred to as mental modifications are the real thoughts we think with God.  All other thinking is unreal and unnecessary and that which gets in the way of our peace. 

We are asked to approach this practice  in a sacred way honoring the holy place we are trying to reach.  We are seeking to reach the Kingdom of Heaven within that exists in our minds. We are also asked to appreciate our mind's holiness and the Thoughts God is thinking with us. (Lesson 45)

A Practice of Forgiveness

Lesson 46 is a practice of forgiveness. In order for there to be a need for forgiveness there must be some form of condemnation. Condemnation is a product of fear and therefore isn't real. God does not forgive, according to ACIM, because He has never condemned and sees fear as an illusion. Forgiveness simply frees us from our illusions. Those who forgive are thus releasing themselves from illusions, while those who withhold forgiveness are binding themselves to them. ( ACIM-W-46:1:4)

 Though God does not forgive, his love is the basis of forgiveness because only love can forgive. 

The practice involves three, five minute sessions of closing our eyes and searching for people we have not forgiven.  It could be for small things like forgetting our birthdays or for larger things like betraying us in some way. 

And it is an all or none type of thing. We have either forgiven them entirely or not at all.  We are asked to repeat. God is the Love in which I forgive you ( name),as we think of each person. 
Then we are asked to forgive ourselves in the same way. 

We then try to allow related thoughts around the central idea to come to mind.  These thoughts may include things like, God is the love in which I am blessed or No fear is possible in the mind beloved of God.

Trusting God's Strength Over Our Own

Many of us erroneously trust in our strength and fruitlessly attempt to predict, control and fix our environments so we feel safe. No wonder why we feel fear, anxiety, depression , anger and sorrow as we deal with the circumstances of our lives.  

We need to see that we are frail and weak as ego identities so we can realize that God is our safety in every circumstance. God is the strength in which I trust. We are asked to meditate on this truth four times this day for five minutes each. (Lesson 47)

Nothing To Fear

Lesson 48 is easy.  We just need to repeat this fact, There is nothing to fear, as often as possible throughout the day. The presence of fear,it is said, is a sure sign that we are trusting in our strength and not remembering God.

Going Deeper to the Part that Listens

Parts of our minds' listen to God.  The part that listens is below the habitual mind the ego uses to keep us away from God.  It is below the distracted, busy, chattering and disorganized part of our minds.

  The part that listens to the Voice of God is always  still, peaceful calm...it is the essence Eckhart Tolle speaks about and really is the only part there is. We are asked in Lesson 49 not to listen to the crazy parts of our minds for four five minutes sessions through out the day and to see if we can tap into the stillness and peaceful mind that lies beneath the chatter, in the depth of who we are. God's Voice speaks to me all throughout the day.

The Love of God Sustains

The answer to all our so called problems is knowing, I am sustained by the Love of God. We too often believe we are sustained by ego things like money, pills, recognition, success, the right people etc but theses things do not protect us or get us through trying circumstances peacefully.  The only thing that can do that is the Love of God.  The Love of God can take us to a state of peace that nothing can threaten And this is the answer to handling whatever we come across. In two ten minute sessions we are asked to repeat and think about this truth. ( Lesson 50)

That brings me to these words at the core of ACIM's introduction:

Nothing real can be threatened.

Nothing unreal exists

Herein Lies the Peace of God

 

All is well.

 

A Course in Miracles. Workbook Lessons 41-50. Foundations For Inner Peace

Ripples and Rays

When the ripple realizes it is also and more fundamentally the ocean, then it is not only a realization of the ripple but of the ocean too, through the ripple.

-Eckhart Tolle

Wow!  That is beautiful eh?

As we awaken, and begin to see ourselves beyond thinking, and beyond the identification we have with these egos...these  false selves...these pseudo images that are merely surface reflections of the mind...we begin to see, amazingly, that we are a part of something so much greater.  Being a part of it means we are it.

Beneath all this mind stuff,  our labels, our stories, our history and this crazy idea we have of future...we are simply present.  This still and spacious presence which Tolle refers to in  the video, Freedom from the False Self , as essence is who we truly are.  Essence  has no form, no problems, no past or future...it simply is now. Essence is the Life that beats and breathes within us as we manifest so briefly in human form. 

All beings have this essence for it comes from One Source of universal essence. The essence of who we are is consciousness, so we are consciousness.  All Life is a manifestation of One consciousness... what many of us refer to as God. We are all pieces of a greater whole.

God is like the sun that creates all Life and we are rays of that sun. God is like the ocean that sustains and maintains all Life and we are the ripples.

We are merely, yet so awesomely, manifestations of that One Source of consciousness.  That is, I believe, why we are here...to allow this consciousness to manifest, expand  and evolve. That is what Life is ...a never -ending,  unfolding process of evolution.

How absolutely cool is that?



Eckhart Tolle (Feb 2, 2020) Freedom From the False Self. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_DKenOqjJ4

The Ego and The Poem

Who I am cannot be reflected back for anyone else to think, or know, or see
and it is with this eternal knowing  that the Observer is finally set free.


What the heck was that???

I can almost hear the voices of those that read the poem asking out loud,  "What the heck was that?"  I wish I could tell you what it is but I only partly "know".  Like most of my poems it just came out.


The Process

 I was reminded of something from reviewing A Course and from listening to Eckhart Tolle's amazing lecture the last two mornings (cited in the last entry), and I was inspired. I had this strong feeling to write a poem.  I was in-spired, In -spirit, whatever that may mean to you.

Let me be clear, I am not saying I am channelling when I write poetry. In fact, I am not sure of that channelling  stuff even though I do like to hear or read  certain  people who say they are channelled  if the message resonates...But to say our bodies and minds can be used by some entity from another dimension to come through...I don't know about that. I am not going there.

It is true, however, when I am inspired, something within me seems to take over the writing process, something beyond my busy little monkey mind. I am conscious and I am aware of the thoughts going on in my head as I write.  I am aware of some message that wants to come out. I am aware of rhythm. meter, rhyme...how the poem "sounds" but it isn't my little self doing the writing.

Sometimes it comes out so fast it feels like I just threw up a bunch of words on the page ( better than pee soup, I suppose). And if I didn't vomit then, there are many more times little me wants to gag after wards when I am reading some of the poems I wrote. It's like, "What the heck is that???!!"

And if it was an action of pure ego...I would not have made it rhyme!  I would  like to see myself as more of a  contemporary poet, relying more on creating rhythm and imagery within the lines rather than rhyming the words at the end of each line. Yet most of my poems  come out rhyming. Go figure!  Thank God I have a soft spot for the Romantic poets like Wordsworth, Coleridge, Dickinson who use rhyme schemes.  It makes what comes out of me a little more tolerable to my ego.

Despite plenty of  "WTF(ront door)s?" I have learned to respect the process and whatever comes out. I don't own it...it belongs to some deeper part of me but I do use my mind to revise and edit what appears. I will review it in my head so it sounds as good as I think it is going to sound whether anyone else judges it as such or not. I allow the rhyming. And I allow that compulsive/ impulsive feeling I get to tell me if I should keep working the poem or if it is okay  to walk away from it.

If it sucks...I don't see it as my problem.  If it sounds okay...I don't the credit.

I suppose this "weirdness" happens to a lesser degree  with all I write, even this blog to some extent but  it is much more apparent with poetry  than anything else. (I don't even feel like I can call it "my" poetry. lol) It may be weird...but...it is also so freak in cool to see it happening, to be a part of it. So there it is.


What did it mean?

Now what did that poem mean?  After I read it a few dozen times I see what it is about. It is about ego...this false idea of self we tend to identify with, cling to, do whatever we can to retrieve and protect.  This ego is no more  than a reflection of our minds in the world.

It is not substantial...we cannot pick it up to use it to fill in the empty feeling we have.  It does no good to use the forms around us, either,  be they other people, recognition, success, or material possessions to help us keep and improve that sense of self. It does us no good to grasp, seek and cling to the things of form.  Nothing of form can fill us up, nothing of form lasts.

The image we have of ourselves is so easily disturbed by a mere finger because it is just a ripple of light on the surface of what is.  It is not substantial.  When we realize this as the narrator did we fall to our knees in reverence for who we are.  We are transformed.  We transcend and we become grounded in the a reality that goes much deeper than a surface image (We blossom and become rooted like the flower). We realize we are not the image but the observer of the image and we are set free by that realization. That is awakening.

The references to Narcissus, Echo and Nemesis...as well as the gold and white flower are attributed to  the story of Narcissus which Tolle alluded to in the video and which I was inspired to read more about.

That's the poem and that's the process.

All is well!

Poem In Progress

The Ego's Reflection

Like Narcissus did so curiously, many centuries ago
I look about for who I am.  I simply do not know.
When I glance into the water I am surprised by what I see;
there I find a shiny reflection staring smugly back at me.

"This must be who I am," I utter as I reach in to pick "me" up
but  alas this watery  image, with my hands, I just can't seem to cup.
It slips through my fingers no matter how tightly I hold on.
It drips, slithers  and  trickles away. What am I doing wrong?

Fear then overcomes me. This precious image I do not want to  lose.
So I seek and grasp  at any  form around me that  I can somehow use
to help me retrieve my perfect self from the surface of this lake;
to gather it up  in its shiny  form within me,  to end a desperate  ache.

But no matter what I grab or try to cling to, like the water, it slips through
the space between my fingers and disappears from earthly view.
I can not understand it as my  confusion and  frustration grows
I cry out questions to the Echo, to Nemesis and to anyone that knows.

"Why is it so challenging to hold onto a dense  object made of matter?
And why does this lovely image I look upon break apart and splatter
whenever I dip my fingers beneath the surface the gawking world sees?"
Then I hear the silent  answer from within me and I fall down upon  my knees.
 
What I look upon so longingly, will never be more than a  mere  reflection
always lacking in the depth of being , in sweet stillness and divine perfection.
I am not just a shadow rippling on the surface of this pool of collected rain
I am the Seer, not the seen.  I am the  creator, not the  goddess of the vain.

White and gold petals soon surround the image  marking its glorious rebirth
and the roots of understanding ground the Self I am more deeply into earth. 
Who I am cannot be reflected back for anyone to name, or know or see
and it is with  this eternal knowing that the Observer is finally set free.
 
Dale-Lyn Feb 2020

Decided to put this poem here because  it came out here but it came out patchy.  So I put it down as a work in progress.

Day One (Sunday):

This came out rather quickly...will be back later to finish it up.  :) In a rush...teaching two yoga classes today.

Inspired by Eckhart Tolle video:

Day Two (Monday):

Struggling with this one...don't know why.  Playing with it  more than I normally would.  Still needs more revision.

Why I am showing a work in progress I don't know.  It used to be that I would seldom show anyone anything unless it was revised and edited, revised some more.  But I just felt the compulsion  to work on it in front of you so to speak.  Who knows why.  :)

Day Three (Tuesday):

Third set of tweaks. I can't tell you it is done because I don't know if it is.  A poem, for me, is only done when the internal restlessness in me subsides into nothingness. When I can look at it and feel none of that agitation it is done.  But if I feel an "ughhhhh" or a twisting in my gut  when I read it...I feel I am being pulled right back to it by a demanding bossy muse that says, "Fix that!"  Man I wish this boss would pay me. :)

All good.  Not going back to it right now...just in case this feeling, which is subsiding enough to allow me to walk away lol,, comes back when I look at it.  I will check in with it tomorrow.  All good.

Again Inspiration: Eckhart Tolle 2020 Ego My Life https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5cdb0Hhu-s

Maneuvering Around Ego

 Thinking about another ego is as effective in changing relative perception as is physical interaction.  There could be no better example that the ego is only an idea and not a fact.
ACIM-T-4:II:2:5-6

Ego  

According to the many teachings from A Course in Miracles often echoed in the words of Eckhart Tolle, Ego is said to be the complete identification with form which includes thought, feeling, conviction, body and the circumstances of our life.  It is not the feeling but the experience of being lost in that feeling....to the point we are not aware of feeling.  It is not the thought but the experience of being lost in that thought to the point of not being aware of our thinking. Does that make sense?

I am learning from my review of the lessons in ACIM.  I am seeing what my little me has been doing with this set of circumstances I am going through. It is so cool to be where I am right now in my waking up process...sometimes I am lost in a dream, then I wake up to analyze the dream.  :) Other times...a lot of times... I am lucid and can wake myself up.  That is becoming more and more apparent and I am grateful.

Unconscious Victim

When I look back at what I am thinking, feeling, doing in my unconscious state I see I often take on a victim's status.  I tend to do that and it is confusing me as to why.  I see myself not so much a victim of Life...I do not see theses changes occurring on my body, for example, as reason to feel sorry for myself...but I do erroneously see myself as a victim to other egos. That is where my sense of resistance and struggle and my "attack thoughts' come in.

Ego Alert

Life circumstances, pain, illness or even death does not scare me as much as other people do. My "attack thoughts" involve seeing villains in others and my need to protect or defend myself from them.  My mind often tells me not to trust the intentions of other egos.  That few have my best interests at heart.

I know from viewing my personal history, where that "belief"  comes from but as I evolve I think I should be beyond that.  I am not. When I realize I am not...I often direct those "attack" thoughts against myself. "How can you think that way?  What is wrong with you?  You are so paranoid and that makes you nasty? etc"  I feel shame and  guilt which are powerful weapons the ego uses.

The thing is, the more I listen to my mind, the more I attack myself and others mentally. It is a vicious cycle. Ironically, when I do this the more situations show up where the people I am dealing with are lost in ego.

As I understand "ego" more and recognize it in myself and others...this mistrust of human unconsciousness becomes greater. When I see a person acting  consciously  I trust...when I see a  person dominated by ego, for whatever reason, I automatically mistrust their intentions and fear they could hurt me or others in their unconscious state. It is not that I am meaning to blame people or hurt them and judge them for having egos, especially when I recognize my own. It is more that I am acutely aware, it seems, of unconsciousness in another as I am in myself.

When I do recognize that someone may be carried away by the ego's need to assert itself and be right, I do not judge the entire person...I still attempt to see the inherent goodness...to see evidence of that beautiful neutral space beneath the ego  in all.

I also tend to see myself in them. I am, therefore, in no position to judge.  I do not feel others need to be punished or judged as "bad" for falling unconscious to their ego's intentions...that would be very, very hypocritical of me. It is just as I try so hard to get around my own big fat swollen ego I find myself needing to maneuver myself around the egos of others as well. I am learning how to best do that.

Ego as the Teacher

I need to accept that ego is in me and around me everywhere. Without blaming or judging I need to be aware of it and find a gentle, nonjudgmental way around it. That might be the practical application to these lessons. The reason these people seem to be showing up is to help me with my learning, you think? My learning mission may  be to become aware of ego in me and others  and possibly help others to be aware. Does that make sense?

So, yes, just as I see ego in myself, I see ego in others right now.  More specifically, in one case I see a person with an apparent  need to assert their "righteousness",  taking them away from seeing  clearly the human need in others. It seems to stand in the way of me and others like me getting the help they need. I can see that tendency towards righteousness in others when it manifests because I see it  in me.  You see, I see ego in me so I see it in others;  I see it in others, therefore I see it in me.  That's the way this learning goes.

A need to defend a position, protect the use of resources one feels they are in charge of, the desire to feel more powerful than another (usually so one doesn't feel vulnerable), the need to establish authority and control in decision making  and the need to be right can take a person away from seeing clearly what really needs to be seen and experienced .  It can take them into complete  identification with thought and emotion until reality of a situation fades away. It may make them temporarily unconscious, lost in dream state,  pulled from  the human purpose of discovering who they truly are. This type of ego dominance may serve the ego...giving it the fuel it needs to grow in strength...but it  doesn't serve others and it doesn't serve Self.

Ego's Blind us to Self and Compassion

Most sadly, egos isolate and separate. We cannot be truly compassionate , open and connected to one another if we are dominated by our egos.  We will be too busy protecting this idea of "me", "my" and "mine". We can easily become lost in a conviction of : "It is my job to decide; it is my role, my power; my right.  I know. I am in charge.  This is my stuff and I will decide how it is used and who uses it etc."

Just as I cannot reach beyond this boulder of fear in my psyche which is created by ego to those who need me, when one is lost in the above ego dominated conviction and need to prove they are right, they often can not see beyond their  own egoic agenda to recognize the pain, the suffering, the fear in those they swore to help. The unobserved mind has possibly convinced them that their  agenda, in these selected situations,  is more important than anything else...possibly even more than compassion.

My judging, blaming, condemning this person or persons  and wanting some form of punishment or vengeance  for that is my ego attacking with thought.  I am just as guilty of attack thoughts and if guilt is hell, I put us both in it when I cling to such thinking.

Truth is...I can't change another person  or make them more conscious.  I can only change the way I think about them and this situation. I can put down my attack thoughts.  By doing that I take us both from hell.

And assuming that I am dealing  with an ego that is unconsciously and blindly  standing between me and my desire for wellness, I am faced with  a choice.  I can either attack and go  ego to ego with this person  as I  outwardly and publicly express anger, injustice, and complaint ( which in some way I am doing now...sigh) or I could choose another option that doesn't include the ego. I could choose to respond from the place of peace beneath the ego.

By no means am I saying should we condone any unconscious behaviour that has the potential to harm another  being or us as individuals but we can put away our "attack thoughts" about it. We can remind ourselves that the person, in question,  does not know what they do when they are unconscious.  This slipping into unconsciousness is a very common human tendency we all share until we are evolved.  We too have and or do slip. So how can we judge another for doing so.

In dealing with the ego of another...we do not need to condemn: we do not need to attack; we do not need to defend; and we do not need to create a story of villains and victims either.  We don't condone; we can simply understand. Then we can choose a more peaceful alternative to handling the situation.

I could see peace instead of this. (Lesson 34)

All is well!

ACIM Workbook Lessons 31-40

Lesson 31-40

I am not a victim of the world I see.
ACIM-W-31

The next ten lessons, involving longer sustained practises two-three times a day followed by frequent shorter ones throughout the day,  will take us into a different and healthier way of seeing the world.

Not Victims of the world

We begin by realizing we are not victims of the world we see either  externally or internally ( in our minds).  We are asked to look around at everything we see in our immediate environment, then to survey our inner world of thinking without prioritizing or beings selective, without any form of attachment...simply allowing all thoughts to emerge as they do, while we repeat I am not the victim of the world I see. We are not victims of anything we encounter no matter how threatening it may appear and we are not victims to any thought no matter how real it seems to be. We are reminded the inner world is the cause of the outer world and by releasing claims of victim hood, we are declaring our independence in the name of freedom for ourselves and ultimately for the world at large. (Lesson 31)


Inventors of it

In Lesson 32 we learn that we are not the victim of the world we see, because we are actually the inventors of it, giving us the power to see it or not see it as we wish. While you want it you will see it; when you no longer want it, it will not be there for you to see. Both the inner world of thought and the outer word of form are simply in our imagination. I invented the world /situation I see.

Another Way

According to the next lesson we can shift the perception we have of the world.  We practice realizing this by surveying  both our outer environment and our inner world of thinking as we repeat There is another way of looking at the world/this. (Lesson 33)

Choosing Peace Instead

What is the other way of seeing? The perception we have can actually be a peaceful one which originates from a peaceful mind. Focus in this practice for Lesson 34 is on the inner world as we search for anxiety producing thoughts or thoughts of unwanted things or people in our experiences. We repeat I could see peace instead of this. And more specifically we can remind ourselves, I can replace my feelings of depression, anxiety or worry [or thoughts about this situation, personality or event] with peace.

Holy? Me?

It is unlikely that many of us, so attached to the world of form, will see or believe that we are holy; that our mind is a part of God's.  Yet we are asked to repeat this in Lesson 35 so we learn to develop a very different view of the self then the one  we falsely identify with and try so hard to protect.  We are reminded of our Source and our true identity whether we are ready to believe it or not beneath the ego. How do you see  yourself?  Search your mind for certain situations in your life and the ways you would describe yourself in those situations. Repeat   I see myself as... Maybe you will say "depressed, kind, helpless" or whatever.  Then when you provide each statement with a self describing adjective add the reminder, But my mind is part of God's. I am very holy. To say to ourselves that we are holy when we are using descriptors like "angry or failing" seems almost blasphemous to the pre-evolved mind but it is what we are asked to do in this lesson.

This holiness, that we may still feel very uncomfortable ascribing to our self,is also in everything we see. If our mind is holy, we are holy and if we are holy our sight is holy too.  If our sight is holy everything we look upon is holy.  Your holiness envelops the rug you look upon.  your holiness envelops the fingers you look upon etc We need to look about everything in our environment and without prejudice or preference, without hierarchy of importance say My holiness envelops that...( Lesson 36)

Lesson 37 tells us that our purpose here is to see the world through our own holiness. This perception blesses us and the world together.  This realization restores us to the wholeness we are and demands no payment from that which we perceive.  If we are whole the thing or one we look upon is whole. Those who see themselves as whole make no demands. The practice involves looking around our environment and non selectively settling our gaze on whatever we see repeating My holiness blesses this chair...( or whatever) .  We then practice by closing our eyes and thinking of some person randomly and repeating My holiness blesses you.[their name]

What Does Holiness Do?

What does this holiness do? It does everything. Your holiness reverses the laws of the world.  It is beyond every restriction of time, space, distance and limits of any kind....Through your holiness the power of God is made available.  and there is nothing God cannot do. If we are holy so is everything God created. Everything God created is holy because we are.  So no matter what the perceived "problem" we are facing, the difficulty, the suffering...there is nothing that this holiness cannot do.  I automatically think of my present health seeking experience and I apply the practice statement. In this situation involving ____________[ this bodily change  and lack of diagnosis] in which I see myself, there is nothing that my holiness cannot do...because the power of God lies in it. (Lesson 38).

Salvation

Do you believe that guilt is hell?  Do you believe that you are holy?  That your holiness is the salvation of the world, and your own?  Those are tough questions to ponder aren't they, because they break down belief systems we have adhered to forever? Your holiness is the answer to every question that was ever asked, is being asked now, or will ever be asked in the future.Your holiness means the end of guilt, and therefore the end of hell.

When we have unloving thoughts or vengeful thoughts or angry thoughts that  appear in many forms  uneasiness, anger, fear, worry, attack, insecurity etc is created .  They disrupt our peace and it is from them we need to be saved. Salvation is merely seeing differently!   So in our practice we need to randomly, without conscious selection, ponder people, and situations that bring about unloving thoughts and apply to each thought this statement. My unloving thoughts about ______________[ the delay in my diagnosis] are keeping me in hell.  My holiness is my salvation. ...If guilt is hell, what is its opposite?

So what is its opposite? Salvation which brings us to freedom away from the mental torture of our minds and the hellish way we look upon the w world.  What brings salvation?  Recognizing who we really are...creations of God, therefore holy.  What is holiness?  Holiness is wholeness, love, peace, joy, unlimitedness, freedom.  It is our natural state of being which is predominantly peaceful. Shall I say more? (Lesson 39)

We already are Peaceful

Lesson 40 attempts to add the happy things we are entitled to as holy beings.  If we could just remind ourselves once every ten minutes that we are blessed children of God and that naturally underneath our crazy monkey minds we are happy, peaceful, loving and contented or calm, quiet, assured and confident we would be saved from the unnecessary suffering we create in our lives and in the world. 

Wow!  A lot of learning, a lot of learning.

ACIM Workbook Lessons 31-40.

Order in Chaos

The quality of the human experience is only actualized through our thoughts.
Wayne Dyer

Return of the Boulder

The boulder has seemed to roll back over on my path to seeing clearly. With a differing intensity and radiation of the pain I had been experiencing,  I am reminded again of my situation. Thus the familiar worry begins.

So, I made a call yesterday, to check up on the status of things...only to be told I would just have to wait for a call, that  I was more or less told by someone else  would never come. I was left with the realization  that  I will  still be floundering around in the pool of not knowing for God knows how long. That was such a heavy defeating feeling.

Treading Water

I  guess I just have to go on  treading water here as I wait for someone to throw me a rope.  Everyone standing around is assuming that it is someone else's job to throw it...so they innocently (sometimes not so innocently) turn their backs and walk away to deal with all the many other important cases and things they have to deal with.  And I just keep treading, waiting, as this thing on my body continues to change. If they are not looking, they cannot see how hard it is to continually tread water. Sigh.

Truth is...I am tired! It hits me every now and again...how tired I am.  I am soooo tired of treading water, of waiting.  There are times, I just want to put my hands up, stop kicking and  sink to the bottom. Can I call that letting go or giving up? I don't know yet...so I keep my head up.

Eleven Weeks of Worry

It has been  two weeks  since the last ambivalently -hopeful step toward knowing was activated, where  I was told another "necessary"  test would be ordered by the surgeon.  And it has been over eleven weeks since  I first noticed the changes.  When a mind is still caught up in time focus, Eleven weeks of worry is a long time.  If we let it, it can take its toll on mind and body, on living and loving.

For the most part, I see it as an opportunity for my growth.  I do and I am even thankful for it.

Other times,  I just let it bring me down. I feel  too tired to constantly struggle to see beyond this seemingly humongous border in my psyche.  I am okay with letting go to some extent...but I have people in my life who seem to need me now...people who are suffering and are crying out for my guidance.  I also have this strong desire and calling to be more compassionate. Yet, there are times, I can not seem to reach others  over this fatigue from treading and this mental boulder that takes up so much space inside me.  So on top of worry, fear, frustration and occasional hopelessness, I have guilt and shame. The distance between me and the pool's edge seems to get longer. The boulder just gets bigger.

Why the Chaos?

Why is this happening?  Why did this thing show up on my body and why am I having such a hard time getting it diagnosed? Especially now when others are hurting and need me.   It all seems so chaotic and unnecessary...so far from the peace I so long for. These life circumstances are like weeds that popped up on the perfect landscape I thought I needed in order to be peaceful.

The weeds just are

It is only when I judge them as "ugly" "unfair", "chaotic" "bad" and as things I need  to remove from what could be a perfect lawn that I suffer.  I know that.  This pain, this bodily change, this challenge I am facing getting diagnosed...is just seemingly chaotic in my  mind.  In reality it just is.  It is no different than the flowers that bloom in my life...the moments of peace, joy, love. It just is.

Remembering that Compassion is Healing

More importantly, I am not the only one in this big vast world of billions that feels this physical pain, this fear and worry, this occasional hopelessness and fatigue.  I am not the only one who is waiting, who is treading water without knowing when she can stop.  I am not the only one dealing with a massive boulder in their psyche and feeling guilt and shame for not being able to reach out to the others who are behind it.

Or can I reach out? I can still think compassion, can't I?  I can still feel compassion for myself and all others beyond the boulder.  Compassion is not restricted by stone or water.  It flows through everything. There is, after all,  so much divine order in what seems so chaotic. 

With compassion, there is even more  order to be found in this chaos. 

It is all good.

Compassion: a Blessing in Pain

I believe that at every level of society-familial, tribal, national and international- the key to a happier and more successful world is the growth of compassion.
-Dalai Lama

I am learning, the hard way maybe :), that there is indeed a blessing in pain. 

I love what Pema Chodron in Good Medicine  says about this.  I can't put it in her exact words but something to the effect that when we become open hearted and kind to our own pain,  we can begin to experience true compassion for others. In order to truly reach out and connect to others who are suffering we have to be intimately familiar with our own. It is this open allowing and accepting of pain in our own experience that allows us to be open to others. It is only from that place of openness can we begin to make a difference.

I have had pain in my life and because of my prejudiced reactions to it, leading to attack thoughts in the many forms they come in, I have suffered.  I used to  hear myself constantly saying , "Why? Why me? How could they? This is so unfair. Poor me."....

And now I find myself saying, "Thank You"...albeit...I am still at the point of doing so  quietly, with a question mark and an unsure shrug of the shoulders...but I am getting there.  And where I am right here, right now in this understanding is perfect.

I want to be able to look out at the suffering that is evident all around me and be open to it.  I do not want to continually struggle against it, resist it, run from it or close up to it. I want to breathe it into my life. 

Why on earth would I want that?  Isn't that dark and morbid?

I want to breathe in  the suffering of the world so  I can breathe out the refreshing, soothing, healing light of compassion.   It is my heartfelt wish that all sentient beings will eventually recognize the peace that is already in them. How cool that would be. That I believe will lead to a happier and more successful world.

And it begins with recognizing our own pain, seeing it not as something to  attack...to close to or push away...but something to be kindly and compassionately accepting of.

Hmmm!

All is well in my world

ACIM-W-21-30

Pema Chodron ( Sept 11, 2016) Good Medicine Part 1: How to Turn Pain into Compassion with Tonglen. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gzMOY1AI_M

Weeds of Life

We like flowers and we don't like weeds.  Never the less, the flowers wilt and the weeds grow...despite our preference and prejudice.
-Pema Chodron

The Decision to Push Away the Unwanted

 

So we decide we don't like weeds. We decide that they are bad, ugly and something that must be removed from our gardens, our lawns, our lives. We go to war on weeds...struggling against their growth...putting protective barriers that poison the earth all over our land so they do not grow and when they grow anyway...we fly into fits of anger and spend hours pulling them out and poisoning some more.  We become vigilant and defensively on guard waiting for these dreaded monsters to pop up on our preferred  perfect landscape and we run and attack at any sign of them.

 

How beneficial are your actions, I wonder, at getting rid of weeds.  How beneficial are they to the earth, to the people who live on it and to your own well-being?  Isn't your struggle exhausting and frustrating and fruitless? Is it not  interfering with what you truly want...your peace of mind?

 

And no matter what you do...the weeds keep coming, don't they?  And the perfect image of lawn and flower you cling to seems to wilt away regardless...and maybe  even faster with your struggles.  

 

Making Judgements: Prejudices and Preferences

 

The point is we do the same in our lives with everything .  We make preferences...deciding on the things that should be in our lives...like flowers, perfect lawns, pleasurable experiences, abundance, happiness inducing things and circumstances, the "right' people who believe what we believe.  We open up to these things and put effort into cultivating them and bringing them into a moment.

 

Our moments will be worth living if we have these things right? And if we don't have them in this moment we are in, right here and now,  we will use it to work very hard to bring them into the next...we will find the perfect life lawn and garden, the perfect  happiness then.

 

We also  make prejudiced judgments about  things, certain people, feelings, experiences that do not necessarily bring pleasure. We decide that certain things should not be  in our moment, that they are bad, wrong, dangerous, ugly. These things may include drugs, physical pain, terrorism, cancer, war, potholes, anxiety, depression and certain political agendas. So we struggle and fight against these things, we close up and retract away from them, we resist them and in so doing we close down to the moment they arrive in.

 

We either poison our minds and bodies with substances that numb or we put so much physical and mental energy into resisting our moment that we become exhausted and ill.  We complain and blame others and life for these things that "keep popping  up"...and where does that get us?  Does it give us the perfect life the neighbors will be jealous of?  Does it bring sustaining joy and happiness? Does it keep the unpleasurable weeds of life out of our experience?  No

 

Life still does life...creating contrast and variety just as it is meant to.

 

Don't Need to change the World, Just the Way We Look Upon It

 

The point is, as the previous lessons from ACIM point to, it is fruitless to attempt to change the world so we can find the peace we hunger for.  All we have to do is change our thoughts.  To put away our "attack thoughts" and to see the world differently. 

 

Our prejudices and our preferences are products of thought.  They lead to attack in one form or another.  They lead to us closing up  and away from the only Life we have...which is right here, right now.

 

We Don't Know

 

Do we really know what we are judging, condemning and closing to?

 



Take another look at those weeds and realize you really do not know what they are for...you do not know what their purpose is; you don't know them.  What you think you know is just a thought, a judgment, a conditioned belief...it is simply a thought in your head and it isn't real.  We do not know what these things we experience are for.  We don't know them. We don't know what the people who show up in our lives are for.  We don't know them. That is okay.  

 

Beneath our prejudices and our preferences, beneath our frantic thinking... a new way of seeing exists.  We can look out upon the world...knowing that though we do not know what the weed is for...God does. And it is all so perfect just as it is.

 

All is well in my world.

 

 

 

 

Lesson 21-30

I see only the perishable.

I see nothing that will last.

What I see is not real.

What I see is a form of vengeance.

...

Is this the world I really want to see?

ACIM-W-22:3:3-8

 

A form of what????

 

 

Yeah I can almost hear that coming from others. After all, I  heard myself saying it out loud when I begun to read the text for the first time in 2009.  I literally closed it and put it aside for weeks...so turned off was I by that proposition.  I understand it a bit better now. As we go through the next ten lessons hopefully I can explain it in a way that doesn't turn you off.  If it still does...that is okay too. Come back to it when you are ready...if you ever are.

 

Continuing with the Mind Training

 

Determined

 

So as we continue with this mission  to see things differently so that we perceive the world, Self, each other in a healthier way we switch that willingness to a full strength determination. In Lesson 21 we are going to apply this determination to specific things and specific situations without selecting, preferring or dismissing anything. There is no room for preference or prejudice, or for measuring in terms of importance.  All the things we think of or see or experience are equally important in this practice. I am determined to see_________differently.  

 

Attack Thoughts?

 

So getting back to vengeance Lesson 22 explains that anyone who has "attack thoughts" in their mind is going to perceive a world out to get them. What are "attack thoughts"?  Thoughts of anger, blame, being victimized, punished, attacked are all "attack thoughts".  If we are angry, we see an angry, vengeful  world that we need to defend ourselves against. If we are forming judgments about others in our mind, we are going to feel judged by others.  If we are villainizing others, we are going to feel victimized by villains.  We get caught up in a mental game of Attack and Defense which are key lessons throughout  ACIM.  To get past the fear this view engenders we simply need to remind ourselves that what we are seeing is not real and it is not the type of world we wish to see.

 

 

Giving Up the Thinking

 

All we need to do to escape from this vengeful world we perceive is to give up our attack thoughts. We do not need to change the world or complain about it...that doesn't help to change anything.  We simply need to go to our minds and change what we got going on there. We have to remind ourselves that we made the world...it is a projection of our thinking.  So therefore if we let go of our angry thoughts, our own vengeful blaming and accusatory thoughts, our own fear of being attacked ...we will see and experience the world in a different way.  

 

What are you angry about?  What are you defensive about?  What things do you believe, have happened,  are happening or will happen to punish you, hurt you?  What things do you feel you need to judge and condemn because you perceive they have, are or will  attack you or others?  Who or what do you believe deserves a punishment for being hurtful to you or others?

 

Do not prioritize these thoughts in order of how much they have or do cause fear, or how rightful you are to be angry in such situations.  If you are thinking about someone who committed mass murder or someone who pulled out in front of you in traffic...it is the same thing.  They are both equally disruptive to your peace of mind.  They are both equally vengeful as thoughts. Think of these things and with each one that pops in your mind apply: I can escape from the world I see by giving up attack thoughts about______.(Lesson 23)

 

Is This Way of Thinking Healthy?

 

It is probably hard at this point to see how these thoughts are disrupting your entire peace of mind. It is hard to see how such thinking, which is so justified and normal to most of us, is keeping you from being happy. Truth is what we would like to see happen when we have conflict is actually not what would be best for us in such a situation...it is actually not something that would bring peace. It is not usually healthy.

 

In such situations we need to reflect and be honest with ourselves to realize that we really do not know what is in our best interest. We tend to gravitate towards defense and attack which is not healthy for us in the long run.  

 

For example, say you had a fight with a life long friend who apparently was overheard saying something nasty about you and you were asked to apply the practice statement In this situation involving______________, I would like____________to happen, and ______to happen ...shortly after finding out about this...how would you fill in the blanks  if you were honest? 

 

I doubt you are going to say, I would like resolution and forgiveness to happen.  No, you are likely going to say...I would like her to choke on her sandwich at lunch ....or at best...I would like her to feel very, very, shamefully guilty and to apologize and attempt to make amends to me  for months.  Right? You want vengeance...you want her to pay for hurting you. That penance comes in many forms but what we want is for the other to suffer ( maybe not necessarily choke as we imagine we want them to do when we are feeling attacked)but to suffer in some form for their sin.  Guilt -making is one of the most socially acceptable and  conditioned forms of vengeance we use.

 

You may also begin to defend yourself by saying I  have a right to be angry...or...I would like some learning on my part to happen here so I  am never stupid enough to trust people the way that I trusted her again.  Neither of these are in your best interest, are they? ( Lesson 24).

 

Ego May Convince You That It Knows What it Is For ...But Do You Know?

 

In the next lesson we are brought back to needing to realize that everything is meaningless and we really do not know what it is for.  Ego has its own agenda as to what things are for.  It has its own goals but those interests and goals are not what is best for us beyond the ego.

 

If we take away the very personalized purpose ego places on things...we will realize we really do not know what anything is for. For example...the ego may say that phone we are holding in our hands is for us to evaluate how many people "like' us on a daily basis.  It will feed ego or it push  ego to make us work harder to feed it with "likes". It doesn't see the phone as a means of reaching out and connecting in a loving, compassionate way to others.  Is the purpose that ego prescribes to the phone healthy?  No...but most of us would see the phone like that and not think of what the real purpose is beyond ego. (Lesson 25)

 

 

The Thought Attacks

 

 

We have this erroneous belief that we can attack and cause damage and be attacked and suffer damage. If I project my anger out there...I am automatically going to feel threatened that anger and vengeance  and attack will come back at me. This makes us feel vulnerable and we do not like to feel vulnerable. 

 

So what do we do to end this uneasiness that would be best for us?  Put up massive barriers around us, continue to attack before we are attacked? Start a war?  Does that make sense when you think about that?

 

What we  have to do is go back into our minds where this idea of vulnerability and invulnerability exists and come to terms with this truth: Nothing except your thoughts can attack you."  The practice in Lesson 26 encourages us to think about our vulnerability inducing experiences and fill in the blanks for: I am concerned about__________.  I am afraid___________will happen, Then it is very important to leave the practice statement with That thought is an attack upon myself.

 

It is not the situation  we are afraid of that is attacking us...it is our thought about it.  Get that?

 

Prioritize Seeing

 

What we really, really need to do, if we want to train the mind towards peace rather than its tendency toward stress and distress, is make seeing correctly our main priority over all the other things we think we want from Life.  At first we were willing to see correctly, then we were determined...now at this point we make it our priority.

 

Vision has no cost to anyone.  It can only bless. We need to repeat this again and again throughout the day, even if we don't think we mean it at this point. ( Lesson 27)

 

Seeing Differently

 

And true seeing means seeing things differently than how we see them now...differently than how ego wants us to see them. We need to put aside our preconceived ideas  about all the things we look upon in our physical world.  Put aside the names, the labels, what we have been taught, what we have learned from past experiences with these things and see each  for what it is...not what we believe it to be or "assume' it is.

 

Above all else I want to see this__________differently. ( Lesson 28)

 

God is in Everything

 

The next lesson may be a challenge for some depending on how they feel about the term "God" and how they apply it. This works well for me because It is a thought process and a reference for me that allows me to envision the Creator of all things in all things. 

 

This lesson  also touches on this idea of Oneship/ Yoga/ universal connection and shared consciousness. Nothing is separate because God is in everything. We also have to realize that our understanding of a thing's purpose is limited but God understands what it is for.  We will learn to look at everything with love, appreciation and open mindedness, if we see God in everything. 

 

God is in the coat hanger. God is in this body....etc ( Lesson 29).

 

Real Vision Begins in the Mind

 

Finally, in Lesson 30 we leap into "Real Vision" by seeing in the world what is in our minds. We are taught that Real Vision is not limited by concepts such as near or far, by space or distance.  It does not depend on our limited eyesight at all. God is in everything I see because God is in my mind. 

 

These are all very important lessons to understand before we are able to move on.  Take time and ponder them...hopefully while you study ACIM for yourself.

 

All is well.

 

ACIM Workbook Lessons 21-30



Five Mental Reasons Why We Suffer

Your Self is still in peace, even though your mind is in conflict.
ACIM-T-3:VII:5:8

I am back on the topic of uncertainty as the root of suffering.  I have to stress, first of all, that we know the difference between pain and suffering.  Pain , in terms of the challenges we face as we move around in the physical world,  is unavoidable. Suffering, in terms of how we react to those things,  is avoidable. The mind is where suffering begins and where it can end ( if we learn to see beyond its frantic tendencies).

So in yesterday's entry I wrote about how uncertainty is the chief cause of fear and fear is suffering...it is what the mind tends to do with pain. It creates False Evidence Appearing Real.  It isn't real as the lessons of ACIM have proved to date...we just believe it is. All suffering comes from things that don't exist. (Deepak Chopra).

In a presentation done with Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra explains our root of suffering by using a new spin on the yoga Kleshas.  His explanation of ignorance, egoism, attachment, aversion and fear make perfect sense to me when I attempt to understand uncertainty in suffering. They echo what I have been writing  about and what I have been learning in ACIM.

Why we suffer

1.  We Do Not Know Who We Are

We have no idea  who we are.  All your difficulties stem from the fact that you do not recognize yourself...(ACIM:3:III:2:1)

We think we are what we have been taught, think and led to believe we are. We are confusing Self with a socially induced hallucination that does not exist. (Chopra).  We are mixing up ego with who we are. The ego is the wrong-minded attempt to perceive yourself as you wish to be, rather than as  you are. (ACIM-T-3:IV:2:3) .


Tolle explains that who we really are is often overlooked because we are hypnotized by the constant movement of form which includes bodies, objects, thoughts, emotions and the busy world around us. We too often do not notice the still, timeless spaciousness in the background of this movement...that is who we are.


We are not the concepts, ideas, images, roles, stories and thought streams we have created to define who we are.  This idea of self is always uneasy and uncertain looking for more things to identify with.  It can never be satisfied with pretending. This leads to suffering.

2. Craving permanence in a world that is impermanent.

We seek safety and balance behind walls we create because the  uncertainty of the world scares us.  We want something to cling to and look to the "solid" things around us not recognizing that they too are constantly changing or  moving in  some atomic way we cannot see.  We suffer because we will never find permanence in the impermanent and all things of the physical world are impermanent. The false walls we build and believe in make us feel separated and alone...thus leading to more craving for stability.   We will never find the stability we long for in a world that is in constant flux, constant change.



3. Fear of the impermanent.

When we recognize the flux and changing nature of life we fear.  We fear that the things we are able to attain will be taken from us, they will be lost or they will die...so we end up clinging and forming attachments to those things (including our special relationships)  our mind tells us to "prefer".  We cling because we fear loss and this leads to suffering.

Fear is a symptom of your own deep sense of loss. (ACIM-T-12:1:9:1)

4. Identify with self image instead of the Self.

A concept of the self is made by you. It bears no likeness to yourself at all.(ACIM-T-31:V:2:1-2)


We make choices about what we want and what we don't want; what defines us and what doesn't. We push away the things our "little me's" tell us are bad for us and cling to the things that help us to build this identity of self....the perfect job, home, person on our arm etc.  It is all image we build, mental construct of self we create...not who we are. This will never sustain us or prevent us from suffering.  Until we know who we truly are beyond this feeble constructed version of self, we suffer

5. We fear death

We fear death in all its forms, not just of the body.  We fear death of ego...this little self we have identified with for so long.  We wonder what we will be without it.  We fear death of an image, a role, an idea that we have identified with.  We fear death of other recognition of this self image we created.  If they no longer see or approve of this image who will we be?  And we fear death of the body.  Who will we be when the body is left behind?

The fear of death will go as its appeal is yielded to love's real attraction. (ACIM-T-19: IV:C:9:1)

All of this causes suffering but all of this is unnecessary as we will discover as we progress through the teachings.

ACIM

Eckhart Tolle & Deepak Chopra (2013) Present Moment Reminders. Eckhart Tolle TV https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNFHVWdqr94

Dissolving the Iron Heart

The basis for fearlessness is really knowing fear.
_Pema Chodron

Uncertainty

The review of the last ten lessons from ACIM has left me pondering this tendency we have as humans to make the world more meaningful than it is so we do not have to experience its uncertainty.  The world is uncertain.  We do not like that feeling of uncertainty and will do whatever we can to avoid feeling it.  Pema Chodron in Smile at Fear relays a study finding published in Times magazine that more or less proves that people are more afraid of uncertainty than they are of physical pain.  Man, that echoes what I have been going through.  I can handle the pain that I am experiencing with these bodily changes, I just feel like I cannot cope with the "not knowing" what  is causing the pain and what my future may hold for me and my loved ones. The world beneath my feet  feels more shaky than usual...not that it is...just that I am noticing it more and I am struggling to keep my balance. I fear this uncertainty.

Fear of Facing our Own Vulnerability

What causes uncertainty, which we would know as anxiety, uneasiness, worry in everyday life?  That is basically fear in its many forms. Chodron tells us the uneasiness comes from having to face ourselves in our armour less forms.  As the lessons showed when we have to face the reality that the world is meaningless and that we erroneously gave it any meaning it might have, we begin to blame ourselves rather than it. The beginning phases of the reversal [our mind training] are often quite painful, for as blame is withdrawn from without, there is a strong tendency to harbor it within. (ACIM-T-11: IV:4:5) We begin a process of self loathing. We also have to face that we are feeling vulnerable, separated and alone. Without the story we made of the world and our fictionalized parts in it....who are we and can we cope? We doubt self.  We do not trust our ability to make it in this world without our masks, defenses, armours and weapons....I guess...without our egos. Stepping out and away from ego ( who we thought we were) leaves us feeling very uneasy.   Whenever fear intrudes anywhere along the road to peace, it is because the ego has attempted to join the journey with us and cannot do so. (ACIM-T-8:V:5:5-6)

Running Away from Unworthiness

We do not want to put down the defenses the ego has given us, we do not want to get beyond the protective walls we have built around this idea we have of a separated and vulnerable little being.  Anything that threatens that pretense we have created is uncomfortable...it triggers us and we do anything we can to run away from having to experience it.  We run into our busy work or our outward projections ( blaming and complaining) or we numb. We do not want to feel vulnerable.  We do not want to sit with the fear of our own unworthiness.

So how do we get past that?

How do we get past fear.  We stop running and go through it.

We do not run from it. Most, if not all the "horrors" we have perpetuated upon the world as human beings comes from our tendency to run from this vulnerability that arises when we put away our defenses. (Chodron; 2016).  When we are truly ready to open up in an honest genuine way, to put down our defenses we take a brave look at our own vulnerability. We begin to understand fear.

We learn to just sit with the feeling of fear that lay within the protective fortress of our Iron heart.  We allow the walls, the story, the concepts, intellectualizations and what not to dissolve and we simply sit with that feeling of uneasiness...that comes in my case, for example, with the form of  not knowing what is happening to me physically.  We learn to just sit with fear until it too dissolves.

We begin healing ourselves and ultimately the world...in the truest sense of the word.

All is well in my world.

ACIM

Pema Chodron (Aug, 2016) Smile at Fear. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=go5aNPKaXtc

Lessons 11-20

What God did not create does not exist.  And everything that does exist exists as He created it.  The world you see has nothing to do with reality.  It is your own making, and it does not exist.
ACIM-W-14:1:2-5


Meaningless World

In the next ten lessons of A Course in Miracles we, as students, are encouraged to begin correcting and reversing the way we think. We begin by  looking  at how our "meaningless" thoughts are effecting the way we perceive the world. (Lesson 11).  We seem to think the world out there is responsible for what we see and for what makes us upset.  We also think that we are upset because the world we see, with our distorted thinking, seems so frightening or sad or violent but we are really upset  because we see a meaningless world. We think we are happy when we see a nice world or a good world but it is the same distorted thinking.  There is no "nice" or no "bad" anywhere but in our minds.


Meaningless us?

Part of us (the ego)  wants to be able to describe things in this way...to look out and see these distinctions. When we see a meaningless world instead it is upsetting. (Lesson 12).  I believe it is upsetting because we realize that if the world has no meaning, it cannot be the source of our suffering. That would mean that we are and that makes us feel the vulnerability, self-loathing and inadequacy we have worked so hard to run away from feeling. If the world is not the source of the problem then there is something really wrong with us. That feels terrible to the ego dominated mind. We therefore need to write our own stories, dramas, roles, thought streams etc to give meaning to what is meaningless, to take us away from this sense of vulnerability that feels so uncomfortable. That is where ego comes in.

Ego vs God

 Recognizing  a  "meaningless" world, as we are encouraged to do in ACIM, also creates fear in us because what ego has created ( the story, the narration, the drama, the ideas, concepts and images) seems to compete with the truth that God creates.  We feel we are caught in a war between ego's version of reality and God's. Feeling separated and puppets to our egos which would rather us feel like victims to a harsh outside reality than responsible for teh way we "edge God out"  , we feel we are in competition with God. (Lesson 13) . 

God did Not Make the Meaningless World: Our Thinking  Did

Then in Lesson 14 we are encouraged to rationalize why God could not have created a meaningless world.(See the opening quote).  Reminds me of the teaching from Patanjali's Sutras, The entire outside world is based on your thoughts and mental attitudes. The entire world is your own projection. (Satchidananda, pg 5)  This concept may be hard for us to actually swallow and  believe at first.  Especially when we are instructed to think of the specific  things we fear and repeat to ourselves "God did not create cancer "( for example)...therefore cancer isn't real".   That is not going to initially feel like truth but the more we practice, the more we wake up...the more this truth sinks in. If God didn't create it, than it can only be in our mind.


Our Thoughts are Meaningless Images

Because our thoughts appear as clear images in our minds and we believe we think them...we cannot see them as the "nothing" they actually are. (Lesson 15). They seem so real. Image making using our thoughts and physical eyes takes the place of seeing clearly.  The practice in Lesson 15 encourages us to repeat This ____is an image that I have made, as we look around at whatever we see. 

Once again we are reminded throughout all the lessons not to be selective or to discriminate what we see...all of it is equally meaningless and equally as much an image in our mind as anything else.

Our Thoughts Are Not Neutral: They Create The  World We See

So if everything, absolutely everything, is a result of our thoughts we need to realize that our thoughts have an effect on how we see reality. Everything we see is a result of our thoughts.  (Lesson 16) Thought are never idle and will bring us either peace or war, love or fear. Though reality is neutral...our thoughts cannot be.  We are encouraged to look at all the thoughts that pop into our head (and not discriminate or level them in degree of importance) and remind ourselves  that This thought about______is not a neutral thought because we have no neutral thoughts. 

The good news is that though they are all equally destructive, they are equally unreal.  Thoughts are not big or little, powerful or weak.  They are merely true or false.

In Lesson 17 we are reminded that we cannot see neutral things because what we see is a result of our thinking about these things.  We are encouraged to glance around ( making no distinctions) and say out loud or to ourselves, I do not see a neutral _____[wall, desk, plant, body etc], because my thoughts about______________are not neutral.

Not Alone

In the next lessons we are reminded that our minds are joined and therefor we are not alone in experiencing the effects of our seeing (Lesson 18) and the effects of our thoughts. ( Lesson 19) Thinking and its results are really simultaneous, for cause and effect are never separate.

Willing to See Correctly

And in Lesson 20, we commit to being willing to see correctly.  The lesson reminds us that we are not seeing now.  It encourages us to train our minds so that we do..You want to be happy. You want peace.  You do not have them now, because your mind is totally undisciplined, and you cannot distinguish between joy and sorrow, pleasure and pain, love and fear.  You are now learning how to tell them apart.  And great indeed will your reward be.

In a nutshell...it is our minds that take us away from peace and Love when our thinking and vision is distorted.  We need to change the way we think so we change the way we see the world.

All is well.

ACIM ( 2007) A Course in Miracles: Combine Volume: Workbook Lessons 11-20. Foundations For Inner Peace

Have No Fear

The whole secret of existence is to have no fear.
-Buddha ( https://www.yourtango.com/2018313542/best-buddha-quotes-mental-health-mental-illness-find-peace)

Now I am not sure if this is a legitimate quote from Buddha or not but I put it here because it also summarizes the whole Course in Miracles as well.


A meaningless world engenders fear. ACIM-W-13

We get beyond the meaningless to the meaningful and we get beyond fear to Love.

All is well.