I see only the perishable.
I see nothing that will last.
What I see is not real.
What I see is a form of vengeance.
...
Is this the world I really want to see?
ACIM-W-22:3:3-8
A form of what????
Yeah I can almost hear that coming from others. After all, I heard myself saying it out loud when I begun to read the text for the first time in 2009. I literally closed it and put it aside for weeks...so turned off was I by that proposition. I understand it a bit better now. As we go through the next ten lessons hopefully I can explain it in a way that doesn't turn you off. If it still does...that is okay too. Come back to it when you are ready...if you ever are.
Continuing with the Mind Training
Determined
So as we continue with this mission to see things differently so that we perceive the world, Self, each other in a healthier way we switch that willingness to a full strength determination. In Lesson 21 we are going to apply this determination to specific things and specific situations without selecting, preferring or dismissing anything. There is no room for preference or prejudice, or for measuring in terms of importance. All the things we think of or see or experience are equally important in this practice. I am determined to see_________differently.
Attack Thoughts?
So getting back to vengeance Lesson 22 explains that anyone who has "attack thoughts" in their mind is going to perceive a world out to get them. What are "attack thoughts"? Thoughts of anger, blame, being victimized, punished, attacked are all "attack thoughts". If we are angry, we see an angry, vengeful world that we need to defend ourselves against. If we are forming judgments about others in our mind, we are going to feel judged by others. If we are villainizing others, we are going to feel victimized by villains. We get caught up in a mental game of Attack and Defense which are key lessons throughout ACIM. To get past the fear this view engenders we simply need to remind ourselves that what we are seeing is not real and it is not the type of world we wish to see.
Giving Up the Thinking
All we need to do to escape from this vengeful world we perceive is to give up our attack thoughts. We do not need to change the world or complain about it...that doesn't help to change anything. We simply need to go to our minds and change what we got going on there. We have to remind ourselves that we made the world...it is a projection of our thinking. So therefore if we let go of our angry thoughts, our own vengeful blaming and accusatory thoughts, our own fear of being attacked ...we will see and experience the world in a different way.
What are you angry about? What are you defensive about? What things do you believe, have happened, are happening or will happen to punish you, hurt you? What things do you feel you need to judge and condemn because you perceive they have, are or will attack you or others? Who or what do you believe deserves a punishment for being hurtful to you or others?
Do not prioritize these thoughts in order of how much they have or do cause fear, or how rightful you are to be angry in such situations. If you are thinking about someone who committed mass murder or someone who pulled out in front of you in traffic...it is the same thing. They are both equally disruptive to your peace of mind. They are both equally vengeful as thoughts. Think of these things and with each one that pops in your mind apply: I can escape from the world I see by giving up attack thoughts about______.(Lesson 23)
Is This Way of Thinking Healthy?
It is probably hard at this point to see how these thoughts are disrupting your entire peace of mind. It is hard to see how such thinking, which is so justified and normal to most of us, is keeping you from being happy. Truth is what we would like to see happen when we have conflict is actually not what would be best for us in such a situation...it is actually not something that would bring peace. It is not usually healthy.
In such situations we need to reflect and be honest with ourselves to realize that we really do not know what is in our best interest. We tend to gravitate towards defense and attack which is not healthy for us in the long run.
For example, say you had a fight with a life long friend who apparently was overheard saying something nasty about you and you were asked to apply the practice statement In this situation involving______________, I would like____________to happen, and ______to happen ...shortly after finding out about this...how would you fill in the blanks if you were honest?
I doubt you are going to say, I would like resolution and forgiveness to happen. No, you are likely going to say...I would like her to choke on her sandwich at lunch ....or at best...I would like her to feel very, very, shamefully guilty and to apologize and attempt to make amends to me for months. Right? You want vengeance...you want her to pay for hurting you. That penance comes in many forms but what we want is for the other to suffer ( maybe not necessarily choke as we imagine we want them to do when we are feeling attacked)but to suffer in some form for their sin. Guilt -making is one of the most socially acceptable and conditioned forms of vengeance we use.
You may also begin to defend yourself by saying I have a right to be angry...or...I would like some learning on my part to happen here so I am never stupid enough to trust people the way that I trusted her again. Neither of these are in your best interest, are they? ( Lesson 24).
Ego May Convince You That It Knows What it Is For ...But Do You Know?
In the next lesson we are brought back to needing to realize that everything is meaningless and we really do not know what it is for. Ego has its own agenda as to what things are for. It has its own goals but those interests and goals are not what is best for us beyond the ego.
If we take away the very personalized purpose ego places on things...we will realize we really do not know what anything is for. For example...the ego may say that phone we are holding in our hands is for us to evaluate how many people "like' us on a daily basis. It will feed ego or it push ego to make us work harder to feed it with "likes". It doesn't see the phone as a means of reaching out and connecting in a loving, compassionate way to others. Is the purpose that ego prescribes to the phone healthy? No...but most of us would see the phone like that and not think of what the real purpose is beyond ego. (Lesson 25)
The Thought Attacks
We have this erroneous belief that we can attack and cause damage and be attacked and suffer damage. If I project my anger out there...I am automatically going to feel threatened that anger and vengeance and attack will come back at me. This makes us feel vulnerable and we do not like to feel vulnerable.
So what do we do to end this uneasiness that would be best for us? Put up massive barriers around us, continue to attack before we are attacked? Start a war? Does that make sense when you think about that?
What we have to do is go back into our minds where this idea of vulnerability and invulnerability exists and come to terms with this truth: Nothing except your thoughts can attack you." The practice in Lesson 26 encourages us to think about our vulnerability inducing experiences and fill in the blanks for: I am concerned about__________. I am afraid___________will happen, Then it is very important to leave the practice statement with That thought is an attack upon myself.
It is not the situation we are afraid of that is attacking us...it is our thought about it. Get that?
Prioritize Seeing
What we really, really need to do, if we want to train the mind towards peace rather than its tendency toward stress and distress, is make seeing correctly our main priority over all the other things we think we want from Life. At first we were willing to see correctly, then we were determined...now at this point we make it our priority.
Vision has no cost to anyone. It can only bless. We need to repeat this again and again throughout the day, even if we don't think we mean it at this point. ( Lesson 27)
Seeing Differently
And true seeing means seeing things differently than how we see them now...differently than how ego wants us to see them. We need to put aside our preconceived ideas about all the things we look upon in our physical world. Put aside the names, the labels, what we have been taught, what we have learned from past experiences with these things and see each for what it is...not what we believe it to be or "assume' it is.
Above all else I want to see this__________differently. ( Lesson 28)
God is in Everything
The next lesson may be a challenge for some depending on how they feel about the term "God" and how they apply it. This works well for me because It is a thought process and a reference for me that allows me to envision the Creator of all things in all things.
This lesson also touches on this idea of Oneship/ Yoga/ universal connection and shared consciousness. Nothing is separate because God is in everything. We also have to realize that our understanding of a thing's purpose is limited but God understands what it is for. We will learn to look at everything with love, appreciation and open mindedness, if we see God in everything.
God is in the coat hanger. God is in this body....etc ( Lesson 29).
Real Vision Begins in the Mind
Finally, in Lesson 30 we leap into "Real Vision" by seeing in the world what is in our minds. We are taught that Real Vision is not limited by concepts such as near or far, by space or distance. It does not depend on our limited eyesight at all. God is in everything I see because God is in my mind.
These are all very important lessons to understand before we are able to move on. Take time and ponder them...hopefully while you study ACIM for yourself.
All is well.
ACIM Workbook Lessons 21-30
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