Mui'nagati: Place of Bear

 Mou'in-bear and scratching and Medicine hands- medicine on hands;

Sunlight, like honey, dripping off claws.

The place, he said, was Mui'nagati (place of bear). the whole of the forest here is mapped out in Mi'kmaw nomenclature...I remember the unerving feeling of first entering bear grounds. ...you could feel the gravity of this medicine animal...the bear is a tutor of sorts that lumbers around the forest eating plants and animals...

Raymond Sewell

I seen a juvenile bear this morning running across  our yard and into the neighbor's. My first thought was, "He is looking for his mother. Where is his mother?" And I felt such grief and concern for the little bear. My trauma brain  is always hyper alert and anticipating the suffering in myself and others and feels compelled to do what I can to stop it...The reaction to the sighting reminded me of how my neural pathways are so wired towards the potential for suffering in this world.  So, when I see a young bear scurrying across the field without its mother in the morning...I assume it is suffering. I feel so much concern for the bear....and for its mother who is probably searching and worried about her young, if she is still in a position to worry, that is. I feel compelled to do something to help.  I felt so helpless this morning. How could I help in a case where nature does what nature does? D. assured me that the bear was old enough to be on its own. I wanted to believe that, but my brain wiring and my  gut were crying out that it wasn't.  

I followed the bear across the yard. On its retreat back to the wooded area it came from, it stopped and turned to look at me. We stared at each other for a few moments before it ran off. I couldn't help but feel that that exchange meant something beyond reminding me of my much too hardworking amygdala. 

You see, I often dream of bears. Out of nowhere, I win or receive pictures or statues of bears. I see them everywhere, it seems. I have had many a conversation with them as I stood only metres away from those that were raiding my garbage cans back at the other house. Though I am cautious, I am not afraid of them. I feel such awe and respect for bears. My heart breaks when I hear of people hunting them. I guess, I see them as a sacred animal. 

Who am I, a caucasion offspring of settlers who came from a country where bears are extinct, to see a bear as sacred? 

I don't know. I just do.  I know, in some crazy way, I dream and see them for a reason. I also see this place where I am living as sacred...I feel the people who have walked these grounds many, many years before the settlers arrived lingering around me when I look across the field or walk on the little cedar lined trail near by,  or when I watch the crows and all the others birds  flock around this yard. This place is really special in ways my little human mind does not quite understand. I feel it though...I just feel it...especially when I am meditating. 

So, I meditated out in the yard, after the sighting and before and after I practiced Hatha. During the first meditation I had a vision of me walking up to a Mi'kmaq campfire...centuries ago...as they were singing and dancing and worshipping the bear by moving like them under a big starlit sky. I was just watching...feeling that my white skin would lead them to reject me, so I didn't get too close. I placed my gift of tobacco down in hope someone there would pick it up and accept it. 

Then I went on with the meditation...forgetting about the bear and the land and fell into that state of no thought. I am not sure how long I sat there.  As I was coming to...I did ask for a sign from the ethereal world to show me that I, in this lifetime was being supported and guided and loved by beings in that formless realm. I was feeling down this morning and  feeling so alone in this venture towards Self that I have chosen.  I had woke up with chest pressure and very low energy so my mind was 'blah". Life seemed "hard". 

So, after the first meditation, and that request that I soon forgot about, just like I had forgotten about the bear, I began to practice hatha yoga wearing the PJ bottoms I went to bed in. Now I have had these PJ's for years and always thought that it was reindeers on the pattern. Even found myself running into the house this morning wondering what people were going to say if they seen me in my "Christmas" PJ's, as I looked down at them, convinced I was seeing reindeer. Anyway, as I began the Hatha and was bending down into uttasana...I looked at my pajamas to see that it wasn't reindeer but bears.  So many bears.  I knew then, I had my sign. 

When singing bear song, we mimic bear movements and tether to that bear spirit or vibe. We lay tmawei(tobacco) down for everything we take...

Okay, more kooky science at a distance...I read this while I was writing this entry, hours after I had my vision. How do you explain that in a way that makes sense to a practical mind?  Sometimes, I freak myself out. lol

All is well in this world, and apparently, in the other.

Raymond Sewell/NiCHE (August 9,2024) Bear Medicine. https://niche-canada.org/2024/08/09/bear-medicine/