As Unreal as the Clothing We Wear

 Yes, death is always painful...but nothing real has actually died there, just an illusionary identity.

Eckhart Tolle

Tolle is speaking to the death of the "me" that occurs in what was deemed by Saint John of the Cross to be, "The dark night of the soul." This idea of "me" is an  illusionary identity ...nothing has really died, just this idea we may have had of ourselves.  It is painful, as I am learning through my own experience in this dark night, not so much like the pain of "grief"that comes with losing someone to death  but in the pain of confusion.  Like "Why is this happening? What does it all mean?" and "Who am I without this "me" identity? What do I do now? "

So, those are the questions this human is asking herself these days. The answers are coming, albeit not all that clearly written or quickly lol...but they are coming.

As those answers come, deeper questions arise about reality and my eyes begin to open to greater truths. Now, I look at the above quote and also think it can apply to the death of the body.  I have friends and loved ones presently grieving the loss of their loved ones right now...one the loss of a brother to cancer, and another the loss of a nephew to a sudden health crisis. I  feel deeply for them as I think about how difficult grief is. (from my own experience with it). With no intention, what so ever, to diminish this pain of grief they are likely experiencing, I find mind asking other questions. 

Why is death so challenging and difficult? 

This answer emerges: Because we believe the death of the body and personality means the death of that consciosness that made that personality and that moved that body. We erroneously see it as the end of the being we have come to know. 

But what if "nothing real has actually died here, just an illusionary identity" applies to this sort of death as well. 

Say what, crazy lady? 

We assumed the being that we loved was just the body and personality...what if these were simply the false identities the being wore while here? What if the formless essence of who they truly are/were  lives on; is still around? The more I ask and the more I ponder...I somehow "have the felt experience" that that is the truth.

This understanding, of course, will not remove the pain of losing the physical presence of what we have come to know...but it may help to alleviate some of the suffering that comes with grief. 

I hold the view that death is rather like changing one's clothes. It is not an end in itself.

The Dalai Lama

Hmm! Something worthy of thinking about, isn't it? 

All is well. 

Eckhart Tolle (July, 2026) There is Always Light at the End of the Tunnel. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSyMKS7g0NQ&t=425s