I take to the open road, heathy, free, the world before me.
Walt Whitman
Happy Thanksgiving!!
Today is a day set aside for the purpose of giving thanks, in my part of the world. And there is so much to be thankful for. I used to write lists in the hundreds but I learned, through a course I took to become a "Positive Psychology Practitioner"(still not sure what that even is lol), that it is best to think of no more than three things at a time when we are pondering what we are grateful for. We need to truly reflect upon and savour each thing on our gratitude list. Hmm! And no, I am not going to share my entire trio right now. I need to think long and hard about what I would prioritize. There is one thing I am grateful for, though, from my list of 100 things and that is this analogy that popped into my head a few days ago that allows me to view Life in a whole new and freeing way.
The Student Driver Behind the Wheel of Form
If I see myself as the student driver of the noisy vessel or vehicle I am in, the vessel or vehicle that is making all the drama, having all the so called problems; the vessel that is always busy doing, thinking, feeling, judging, labelling,grievance collecting, grasping, clinging and pushing away; the vehicle that is either "bothered" or overly infatuated with the physical world; and the vessel that is accumulating all the karma ...rather than the vessel...it is so freeing. When I do not see myself as the form that is moving around mindlessly on this planet, rusting and falling apart, making a mess of things, I am not so attached to what happens to this form or the outcomes of this forms' actions, I am not overly concerned with the mess it is making.
When I see myself as the one behind the wheel, I detach from any identification with this thing I am temporarily in. The drama does not seem that important. Sure, I know it is my job to take care of it, to steer it in the right direction, and that if I don't, I may reap what it sows but I also know I am not here as an experienced Nascar driver. I am just a student. I do not have to expect perfection of myself. My entire Life is a driving practice. Each road I take is just a part of this learning practice. I do not need to expect perfection of myself or any of the other 8 billion student drivers out there. . .
It is all about the learning and settling into the driver's seat as our reality.
This vehicle is just the form I am in. The form includes the body, of course, the mind and all the mind stuff ( thoughts, feelings, beliefs etc.) , the personality, the roles I play ( job, family and social roles), what I own in the material world etc. This form is just what I am in. It is what I have been given to use for the learning process. It isn't who I am. It doesn't matter what make or model it is...doesn't matter what it has in it for an engine. It doesn't matter what year it is or how it performs on these paths. It doesn't matter what happens to it. What matters is that I drive the best I can with what I am given and that I keep improving.
How many of us actually see ourselves as the one behind the wheel and get to truly experience the feeling of the steering wheel in our spiritual hands? Not many. Many of us, instead, believe we are the vessel or vehicle we are in. Somewhere, along the line, most of us forget that we are the driver that is supposed to be driving.
Auto Drive
We have shifted our physical, mental and energetic bodies into auto drive and have fallen asleep behind the wheel. We allow the vessels and vehicles of form to drive themselves up and down these paths that are unfolding in front of us. These forms, without the awareness of the wise driver within, are driving blindly and without a well centered steering wheel to guide with. They steer us all over the place, into and over things, creating chaos, drama and destruction. Why? Because we have become so attached to our identity as them, we forgot we are and were the drivers behind the wheel. We are not that which we are in and are not here to serve this vehicle. It is here to serve us. It shouldn't be driving us around...we should be driving it. As long as we are unconsciously allowing body, mind, thoughts and feelings and our reactivity to Life to do the driving...we will not pass many road tests, let me tell ya. And we will have to keep repeating the practice and the testing again and again and again.
Life is Just a Practice Course
When I see this playing field we call Life as just a practice course for student drivers, I feel an easing of guilt, shame and blame. I know mistakes are expected. What happens out there seems to lose its importance, in anyway except for its learning potential. I don't have to take it all so seriously. I can even have a little fun with it. If I do good and get a high score in one area...great. If I make a lot of mistakes and screw up royally in other areas, even better. I am here for the learning.
Karma
Sure, mistakes will have consequences. The instructors Life hires and calls Karma, may flunk us, reprimand us, and even increase the intensity of our practice field but they are not doing that to punish us. They are doing what they do to help us learn what we are here to learn. We will make mistakes; we will get off course; we will do damage to our vehicles and the vehicles of others. That is a given. We will keep hurting our form and the form of others until we are able to master the course.
I have always had this tremendous fear of hurting others in their forms. When I think of Life like this, however, I am relieved to know I cannot really hurt others...nor can I be hurt by them. We can bang up each other's vehicles like two opponents on a demolition derby track, creating all kinds of karma...effects for our causes...but the driver ...who we really are...does not get hurt. It is only the form that gets hurt, disturbed, uncomfortable. The form is so inconsequential, and the driver is beyond harm.
Sometimes those high impact collisions help us to wake up and remember that we are the ones behind the wheel. When we realize this, we can get out of autodrive and drive away, undisturbed by any of it.
The Goal of Practice
That is this goal of this learning field Life provides, isn't it? : To wake up and remember who we really are, and then to gently take control of the wheel again, to drive our Selfs up and over any road we are asked to drive on, without being attached to or disturbed by any of it. Our goal is to get to the point where we experience the ride fully and openly, and are able to enjoy all of it, as Soul not form.
All is well.
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