There is the mud, and there is the lotus that grows out of the mud. We need the mud in order to make the lotus.
Thich Nhat Hanh
I wonder if I can write today and if so, what I will write about? Hmmm!
It has been a crazy and very "muddy" few days and I have not slept properly or ate properly. Got some seated meditation in but have not done a Qigong or yoga hatha practice for almost a week now. I don't think I even did a round of salutations this week. Wow! Body is feeling a little off because of everything. I am, however, getting the medical attention I need which I am grateful for. I really was going to give up on everything but out of nowhere the calls started to come in ( an amazing GP who has the memory of an elephant, I suppose). So though the pain in my side is still there...nothing I can't handle...just there...and I had to wait a month for the ultrasound, it is all good. Wednesday, I will know if it is the spleen at least. I started wondering too if it was just the ribs themselves? I don't know...anyway. My eye has been really bothering me, and as I feared the vision is starting to go a bit in it but now I know why. I had an appointment with Ophthalmology this week. Yep...something there...not a detaching retina but something to explain the pressure feeling and it is going to be followed up and treated. I also had my echo...yeah! Just want one of those once a year. As I age the mitral valve is more likely to deteriorate and I just want to keep up on it. And with all the vasospastic angina I have had over the years, I want to have heart size and ejection monitored closely. Don't want a stress test...just the echo. I think that is a reasonable request. I also had the monitor on for forty eight hours but all I had to record in my notes was a bit of shortness of breath when I was playing and carrying my grandson. No chest pain...no wicked runs of palpitations. Now if I would had it on 24 hours before... that would have been a whole different story lol...but I suppose I would not have noticed anything going on in my body then. My focus was definitely not on me. So with all these tests and stuff this week...that sense of helplessness in my health seeking has diminished big time.
Anyway, what is or is not happening in my body is not all that important.
What is important, is that I have seen the petal tips of a beautiful flower emerging from the chaos and the mud of this situation. It fills my heart with hope for my loved ones.
If you feel lost, disappointment, hesitant or weak, return to yourself, to who you are, here and now, and when you get there you will discover yourself, like a lotus flower in full bloom, even in the muddy pond, beautiful and strong.....Masuro Emoto
The lotus flower grows most beautifully from the deepest and thickest mud....Buddhist Proverb.
Anyway...there has been so many steps forward because of this storm and it blows me away to see how transformation comes from times of great suffering and chaos. It truly is from the mud that the lotus grows. I see a lotus growing. Fingers crossed.
All is well.
I got these beautiful quotes from:
Jennifer Healey (October, 2016) 20 Lotus Flower Quotes to Inspire Growth and New Beginnings from https://healingbrave.com/blogs/all/lotus-flower-quotes-growth-new-beginnings#:~:text=%2020%20Lotus%20Flower%20Quotes%20Worth%20Pondering%20,the%20darkness%20and%20radiate%20into%20the...%20More%20
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