The Art of Suffering Well

 The art of happiness is also and at the same time the art of knowing how to suffer well... 

Do you suffer well? Or Are You Drowning In It? 

It is possible to get stuck in the "mud" of life. It's easy enough to notice mud all over you at times.  The hardest thing to practice is not allowing yourself to be overwhelmed by despair....But we must remember that suffering is a kind of mud that we need in order to generate joy and happiness.  Without suffering, there's no happiness.  So we shouldn't discriminate against the mud. 

Discriminating Against the Mud

I read those words of Thich Nhat Hanh's from, No Mud, No Lotus,  last night and they resonated in me. I know I have been "stuck in the mud" and all I have been noticing is mud. Life somehow felt "wrong, bad, shouldn't be."  I fell into those judgements of it and began discriminating against the muddy/painful life circumstances that were simply enfolding in front of me. All I could see and smell was mud and I did not like it. 

 Everyone knows we need to have mud for lotuses to grow.  The mud doesn't smell so good, but the lotus flower smells very good.  If you don't have mud, the lotus won't manifest. You can't grow lotus flowers on marble.

No Mud, No Lotus

Part of me wants a life without any suffering.  I catch myself saying out loud, "Just for a bit...let me be free from suffering.  Let the circumstances flow freely.  Let all suffering end!" 

Then I am reminded to question , once again: Without suffering how would we know joy? Suffering and joy, I am reminded,  go together. 

Thinking we should be able to have a life without any suffering is as deluded as thinking we should be able to have a left side without a right side ...If we can learn to see and skillfully engage with both the presence of happiness and the presence of suffering, we will go in the direction of enjoying life more.  Everyday we go a little farther in the direction, and eventually we realize that suffering and happiness are not two separate things....If you can recognize and accept your pain without running away from it, you will discover that although pain is there, joy can also be there at the same time. 

Slipping

I feel like I have gotten quite far in my realization that suffering and happiness are not two separate things.  For a great part of the time, I stand  on the shore watching them float by...aware of the putrid yet earthy  smell of the mud, and the sweet and sometimes sickening smell of the lotus flower.  I see how interdependent they are. I see that apparent opposites are nothing but the same thing when I remove duality. I recognize and accept my pain. I can look at it calmly and objectively. I  think I am "there!"

Then ...all of a sudden the ever changing  winds of life  stirs up the mud, I lose my footing and  I fall into the muddy water again.  While I splash around in it, all I see and feel is the heaviness of the mud. It is like I am drowning in it. I do not  notice the lotus flowers as they float by. I am too busy splashing and thrashing in my attempt not to be consumed by this suffering. 

Surrender to What Is

It isn't until I stop resisting and allow myself to be still, surrendering to what is, allowing the pain and the mud to be a part of my experience, that I am able, once again, to notice the lotuses that were always there. Those lotuses that would not be there, if it wasn't for the mud. Stillness brings insight. But becoming still when you think you are drowning is not easy. Yet, that is exactly what we must do...surrender to what is. Life will blow the lotus in front of us, life will stir up the mud.  That is just the way it is. We can notice and allow it all. 

Suffer Well

We all have seeds of anger, sadness, frustration and despair within us that get stirred up by the circumstances of life.  We also have seeds of compassion, mindfulness, insight. We can use those seeds to help us embrace our suffering so we ...do not escape it or get drowned by it...but learn to suffer well.

We have to learn how to embrace and cradle our own suffering and the suffering of the world, with a lot of tenderness. 

All is well.

Wise words from:

Thich Nhat Hanh (2014 ) No Mud, No Lotus: The Art of Transforming Suffering. Parallax Press (Kindle Edition)