No Matter What

 Do you want to be happy from this point forward for the rest of your life, regardless of what happens?

Michael Singer, page 142

Really read this question before you answer it. Most of us would say without hesitation , "Oh yes, I want to be happy from now on!".  But what about the 'regardless of what happens' part?  Do you really want to be happy no matter what? 

Hmm! As you know, I have recently been whining about a dilemena I had regarding a change I thought I had to make right away in order to be happy.  In the midst of my dilemna I had this "aha" moment where I realized that I don't need to make the change in order to be happy, that I should concentrate on being more conscious, centered and committed to unconditional happiness first.  I realized that I wanted to be able to be  happy no matter what as going on around me!  Not saying it is easy lol, but that is what I want! 

No Matter What

What about you? 

Are you saying with all your heart that you want to be happy and are committed  to being happy no matter what? Will you hold your committment  to being happy when the bank forecloses on your mortgage? When you stub your toe? When the kids end up addicted to drugs or in prison?  When the dog gets hit by a car? When you realize that no matter what you "do"   the person you are with is unable to give to you in a way that makes a relationship 'healthy'? When you get the flu? When your loved ones die? When someone tells you off?  When you get in an accident and total your new car? When the workplace you are at becomes toxic and posionous? When someone spills beer all over the  scarf you just knitted and doesn't tell you? When you get the cancer diagnosis? When the roof leaks? When you get fired from a job you were at for 15 years? When someone steals your lawn mower? 

I could go on and on and on here because there are a billion things that could happen in your life to challenge you. Many of which we could not even imagine until they happened. Things are going to happen!  That is a given! Knowing that, are you still willing to add the 'no matter what' to your ,"Yes, I want to be happy from now on..."?

Making Happiness Unconditional

Most of want to be happy or agree to work towards staying happy on condition.  "I will stay happy if this or that doesn't happen." Yet we won't maintain happiness that way. We have no control over what happens do we?  Life is going to keep doing what Life does challenging us.  In fact, once we make the committment to be happy no matter what  Life will challenge us even more to test our committment. 

The mind will step in when things happen and tempt us away from our promise to ourselves by saying things like, "Oh Wow...that is a really sucky thing he did. It is understandable if you are unhappy about that and choose to let it get you down. No one could be happy when that happened." 

I recently experienced several lectures from my mind about how I should feel and react to the things going on around me. It was trying to convince me, in a sense, that it was okay to choose unhappiness in response to the situations I was encountering. Of course our emotions at the time of encountering challenges are perfectly okay whatever they are...we just have to notice them, allow them and watch them pass through while we stay peacefully, and happily centered. We do not have to choose unhappiness, however.  We can still be happy. 

Well you can be happy when that happens or when this happens or when the sky falls on your head.  Happiness has nothing to do with events...it has to do with you and whether or not you stay open to all Life has to offer. 

Events don't determine whether or not you're going to be happy.  They are just events. You determine whether or not you're going to be happy.  You can be happy just to be alive. You can be happy having all these things happen to you, and then be happy to die. page 143

Why Make a 'No Matter What' Committment 

Well if we really want to be happy in a way that sustains us, we need to remove the conditions that Life behaves the way we believe it should.  Life is going to do what Life does.  Events are going to flow in and out of our experiences. Feelings, thoughts and energies will do the same.  We have very little control of it.  Trying to control it is senseless and crazy making and will not bring happiness.  Even when things do go our way and we feel a temporary bout of happiness...if that happiness is dependent on the event it will not last because the event will not last.  

If we want to reach a state of being that is permanently peaceful and joyful, we need to make happiness an inside game, one that is independent of circumstances or people being a certain way. We add the 'no matter what' so that we are truly happy in a way that lasts. 

We also make this committment for our spiritual evolution. 

Unconditinal happiness is a very high path and a very high technique because it solves everything. page 146

It gives our Life purpose.  We partake on a healing life long mission of letting go when we say, 'no matter what'. 

...what you are doing with the rest of your life is already defined-you're letting go of yourself so you can remain happy. 146

It helps us to honor God, The greatest gift one can give to God is to be pleased with His creation ( and that includes all that is created whether the mind judges it as good, bad or ugly). 

And it helps us to get closer to God, If you remain spontaneously happy and centered, no matter what happens, you will find God. 147

How to Stay Happy No Matter What

Okay so we are saying , "Yes I want to be happy no matter what!" We are committing to that and meaning it. So how do we ensure that we keep that committment? 

We start by removing all ifs , ands or buts from our inner pledge by letting go of  our need to attempt to control Life events.  We let life be Life and we keep our determintaion to stay happy.

Three C's may help to keep us on this path: Stay Concious, Centered and Committed

Conscious: Be aware of what is happening around you and how you are responding to it.  Do you notice the energy shifting in different ways inside you as you expereince life events. Once you begin to feel that tightening inside that may indicate that you are about to close...don't! 

Centered: Remind yourself constantly that you are not what is happening to you or the voice in your head that says, "you should be unhappy because of this." You are the witness sitting  in spacious consciousness that is watching Life do what Life does! You do not need to lose your center.  You can be happy here and now no matter what is going on around you. 

Committed: Stay committed to your goal of  maintaining the spiritual high unconditional happiness provides. Be prepared for the psyche's attempt to come in to pull you from the happiness by making you focus on teh events as problems.  Just don't go there. Resolve yourself to being happy no matter what. 

Staying happy no matter what, I am personally learning,  is not an easy game to play but it is a very worthile one.  I am committed! What about you?

When you are done playing with the temporal and finite, you will open to the eternal and infinite.  Then the word "happiness" can't describe your state. page 147

Miachael Singer (2007) the untethered soul. New Harbinger/Noetic Books