Lean in

 Lean into the discomfort and watch yourself grow.

The Prison and C.O.'s Within Our Minds

Hmm! I feel overwhelmed again as I  watch  life unfold in front of me with what most of us would see as a series of complicated "stressors".  I feel like I am getting zapped or bonked on the head by some mental correctional officer inside my head again and again,  as he warns , "Okay...you are getting too close to where you shouldn't be. Back up." 

And of course, I back up and away from the discomfort. I drop  my eyes from the source of it and therefore I drop my eyes from that which is on the other side of it.  I become afraid of the discomfort and I learn to do whatever I can to avoid the zaps and the bonks. My world then becomes very small and much energy and effort is used to keep me safe within in it. I also attempt to distract from the reality of being imprisoned in between the walls of this discomfort and numb myself with whatever diversional activity I can find, be it contraband or not. (Well that line was just added for dramatic effect...the most contraband thing I am into these days are sugar and  Netflix binges....but you get the picture right...all still numbing and addictive in its diversional ability.) I avoid getting too close to the edges or, heaven forbid,  any attempt to walk through them.

Wanting to Be Comfortable At All Costs

Isn't that what we all do when we live with the goal of staying comfortable and free of pain?  We imprison ourselves inside our minds making our lives smaller and smaller.  We use discomfort as a warning that we are getting too close to freedom  and we allow it to move us back and away again and again? 

Transcendence

What if we were to use discomfort as a sign that we are close to freedom but  instead of seeing it as a warning and an order to step back, we  learned to see it as an encouragment to keep going so we could walk  right into and through those painful and uncomfortable feelings to the freedom on the otherside? That is transcendence, of course, and I believe it is possible for all of us.

What we have to do, then when we feel the zap or the bonk, is to lean in rather than pull back.  

Lean into pain and discomfort? Are you out of your mind?

Yes I am out of my mind when I suggest that, that is how I can suggest it.  :)

And yes we lean even though that seems counterintuitive to our biological makeup.  We have a nevous system rigged up inside of us that makes us automatically and instinctively pull away from pain in order to ensure the survival of the physical body. That is all and good when you accidently place your hand on a hot burner but too many of us are perceiving everything around us as a hot burner to be avoided. We judge this or that as pain inducing, unpleasant and something to retreat from because it has the potential to make us feel uncomfortable, because it stirs up some old internal memories and feelings, or because ego and others tell us  it is a nasty thing. The correctional officers are our judgements, our conditioned beliefs, our perceptions, our aversions and  our fear. 

As counterintuitive as it may seem, practice leaning into pain and discomfort, just lean. Hold the space, don't retreat, lean. And see what happens.

Lean!

Of course, you may not want to start practicing with the hard stuff right? Don't start with leaning into trauma pain or cancer pain.   It is probably best to start small and work up to the big discomforts until we are able to use emotional, and even physical pain as a means to freedom. 

I started with Charlie Horses.  I often get what I judged to be "painful" Charlie Horse Cramps in my feet and calves.  I used to deal with the pain as if I was being zapped by an  electric cattle prod.  I would jump up, scream , "Oh No!" and  clenching my jaw and fists I tried fruitlessly to stamp the pain away.  That was the farthest thing from leaning a person could do. It was also, according to bystanders, pretty funny to watch.

I decided to stop resisting the pain and lean into it when ever a cramp would come.  I would get the zap...the warning...and I immediately reminded myself it was an opportunity to practice. I countered my instinctual reaction to resist the pain and I breathed and leaned into it instead.  I  countered the tendency to get tense and to clench up and I purposefully unclenched my fists and jaws and "relaxed!" I countered my tendency to become the pain or at least get lost in it, and I stepped back and watched it as I leaned into it.  Wow!

Leaning into dsicomfort is an amazing thing and the effects are so dramatic.  You still feel the zap...but that pain does not have to turn into suffering. My cramps last about a quarter of the time they normally would, releasing fairly quickly with less muscle tension.  I do not fear them and now I almost, as crazy as this sound, look forward to them. I like the challenge of a complicated lesson that I know I can master and this is one.

So now I am trying this practice with the other pain I get .  I lean into it and ask, "What can you teach me?" 

Don't get me wrong...I do not seek pain , nor do I want or intend on living a life of suffering. Just the opposite...I want to learn to deal with suffering.  It starts with recognizing, not avoiding, the reality of pain. When I confront pain..I take the first step to preventing suffering ...in order to do that I first must learn to lean into pain.

I also practice with emotions like sadness, anxiety, anger and resentment. I am discovering the more I am willing to lean rather than retreat backwards at the first sign of discomfort,  the less discomfort I experience, the less hold these emotions have on me, and the less imprisoned I feel.

Hmmm!  Well that is my experience anyway, for what it is worth. 

All is well in my world!