The central lesson is this; that what you use the body for it will become to you....The mind makes this decision, as it makes all decisions that are responsible for the body's condition.
ACIM:TM:12:5:1,7
Day 18 for the pain, day 16 for the other stuff that goes with it. I would like to say that I staid nice and peaceful over the last 48 with it but that wouldn't be true. Ego stepped in at some point and there I was, once again, building story around it and resistance against it. Sigh!
I even, after an intense patch, slipped behind the computer and typed in what my mind has diagnosed it as. You know how the mind is...loving the drama and the gore...it chooses the worse case scenario lol. I thought for some reason I would get something from doing that...some dramatic self recognition as tragic heroine? My identification with story only led to a long projection into my future which suddenly became very limited. I caught myself before I read too much and walked away. I carried fear with me.
I did want to distract from the pain though and from what my mind was saying about it. Tylenol was no longer doing the trick.Unfortunately, I couldn't "do" to distract because that just increases the symptoms...so I didn't have my normal egoic means of coping to fall back on. I couldn't really meditate unless I meditated on the pain itself and one can only do that so much lol. Yoga, my go to for bringing me back from my head to my body...was also a no-no...that makes matters a little worse. So it was like...what do I do? Didn't I have to "do' something about it?
The Body's Function is to allow for Teaching and Learning
Then I read the above and these line from ACIM:
As they advance in their profession, they[the teachers] become more and more certain that the body's function is but to let God's Voice speak through it to human ears.
ACIM:TM:12:4:2
It was like wow! It all suddenly made sense. I don't have to do anything but accept what my body is and what it is doing.
My body is just that...a vehicle and a means for me to communicate my learning through. My function is just to remind people, including myself, that we are more than this...what we see. The only way people will hear this truth, the only way I heard it, is through another body or the work of another body. I need, you need, another body to speak the words, write the message, express the thoughts and point in a certain direction. We need a body for that. And when we are ready...and only when we are ready we hear the teacher and begin to learn and understand that we are so much more than these bodies that the teaching and learning come through. The bodies are only teaching and learning tools.
They are not us and they are not all that significant. Therefore what they are experiencing is also pretty insignificant. This Life is not all about 'little me'. "Little me" clings to the body and insists it functions a certain way so it remains separate and protected from harm. The greater "I", however, sees the body as nothing more than a means to teach and to learn. It sees no separation and no need for defence or attack. It doesn't place a lot of significance on the body so it doesn't see 'sickness' and 'death' in the same way little me sees it.
Sickness is Impossible?
It realizes:
Because it [the body] is holy it cannot be sick, nor can it die. When its usefulness is done it is laid by, and that is all. ...God's Voice will tell him when he has fulfilled his role, just as It tells him what his function is. He does not suffer in either going or remaining. Sickness is now impossible to him. ACIM:TM:12:5:5-6,10-11
That doesn't mean the body won't be injured, invaded by organisms or quickly growing cells at times our minds are forgetting what they are here to do. It doesn't mean that there isn't a life span with a generalized expiration date for the human form. It just means that as long as we are aware that we are here to perform a function and we are performing that function the body will carry us through until we have done what we are here to do. Letting go and trusting that brings peace.
We don't decide
We don't decide when it has been fulfilled, God does. Out of fear and a belief in separation from God...we may adopt a false sense of separation and the body may be negatively impacted it by it. But if we are aware and seeing clearly, we will fulfill our purpose. There is no way that we can't.
So when we are done what we are here to do...the body will be gently 'laid by'. There is no suffering 'going or remaining'. Once we get to that point of our understanding...we don't fear what the ego labels as death. We see that our function has been fulfilled and it is time to go. There is no clinging, or fighting to hang on or holding back. Imagine being at that point?
Anyway...reading this section soothed me and helped to ease a lot of fear about what this may or may not be. I don't know and I won't know until I seek a medical diagnosis. I may get a favorable medical diagnosis in the physical world sense and I may get an unfavorable one. I don't know. I just know that it isn't up to little me. :) I can find some peace in that.
So what did I do
So I decided after feeling a certain letting go to get beyond myself. I concentrated on others...after all that is what we are here for. I spent 10 hours helping my daughter with her chemistry. Believe me ...Ideal gas equations are much more painful than anything the body can do to us. I distracted from my pain by helping and thinking about someone other than myself....it worked.
All is well in my world.
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