Tidying up

Give up what you do not want, and keep what you do.
-ACIM: TM:3:A:6:6

Recently, I was surprised to discover once again  just how differently I thought compared to other people.  I was actually surprised to realize just how differently I thought compared to the way I thought a decade ago.  My perception has changed so dramatically. I really am not 'normal'.   lol.  My view of everything is upside down in comparison to what it was and to what others view as normal. 

Why?  The challenges and the loss I have encountered in the last ten years...heck through my entire life....has led me here one perfect step at a time.  People might say it pushed me over the edge a long time ago  lol but I see how it has set me free and woke me up. People might say I am delusional with distorted perception.  I know that I am seeing clearer than I ever have. I am tidying up my mind.  I am actually learning to let go and  trust Life to provide what is valuable.

Say what crazy lady?

Tidying Up

I am going through The Teacher's manual for ACIM again.  There is a section that describes the characteristics of a Teacher.   Now we are all teachers right?  None of us are more special than the other.  We teach simply by the way we live our lives.  Anyway, the number one characteristic for the teacher to possess is Trust. This is where my challenges and my mental tidying up is taking me.

According to A Course, trust is developed through a six period process of "tidying up" :

1. Period of Undoing: This is an often painful period when "things are taken away".   Not yet at the point of seeing differently enough to recognize that these things are valueless, Life steps in to help out with the process. It removes what we mistakenly value from our lives.  It may take away a certain level of health or physicality (attachment to the body). It may take away our job, our income, our sense of control, our reputation, our partners etc etc  as it did in my case. At first it sucks.  We resist.  We cry out.  We shout out how unfair it is and all sorts of "Why me?"  We may not initially understand what Life is doing in regards to our growth and development. As soon as we realize that it is helping us , not hurting us, we move on to the next stage. (We call Marie)
2. Period of Sorting Out:   Period 2-6 is almost like the experience of cleaning our home the konomari style.  We take everything we think, feel, own, cling to and know as Life and throw it in a big pile. We  then have to sort through it to determine what "sparks joy" and what  doesn't. We begin to look at the things in our ever changing life situations to determine what is valuable and what isn't.  "What will help me as I go farther and what will hinder me?"   There is a certain amount of fear and trepidation in this process because one doesn't want to throw out the valuable into the valueless pile, right?  We fear loss and sacrifice so though we certainly did some sorting, we  end up with much more in the valuable bin, at this point, than we do in the valueless. We are still clinging to certain ideas about who we are and what Life is all about.
3. Period of Relinquishment: In this stage we go into our valuable pile and sort through it again.  We undertake what we think as sacrifice by giving away all that that keeps us from the Truth.  For example, we may see that worrying about what people think about us hurts us more than helps us...so we throw our need for the good opinion of others in the valueless bin. Our valuable pile becomes smaller and the valueless pile becomes larger. Instead of feeling the loss or grief when we look at our small valuable pile, we instead feel a certain lighthearted ness. We discover the less of this old way of thinking and being we keep, the lighter we feel.
4. Period of Settling Down: In this period we really like Marie's message, "Give up what you do not want, keep what you do." We see the value of it.  It seems like a simple thing to do.  We rest here a bit just taking it all in and feeling pretty satisfied with ourselves and our tidying up, before we move on.
5. Period of unsettling:  This is a bit like advancing to the "miscellaneous stage" of the Kondo method. This is a bit of a wake up call where that smug look of satisfaction is wiped from our faces.  We realize that all the sorting out we did so far was kind of meaningless because we really do not know what "valueless" means and what "valuable" means.  All we figured out is that we want to keep what is valuable whatever that is and we  do not want to keep the valueless. We are still in our heads determining, perceiving, labelling and judging.  We really don't know what the heck that "sparks joy" thing is all about.  In our little minds and with our own little mind directed actions we are still judging: valuable and valueless without knowing what it means.  We are still judging "good" or "bad", "right" or "wrong".  We are still attempting to select what we will keep in our lives and what we won't. It is here we realize we know so little about anything...and man is that unsettling.  We might be pretty pissed at Marie, at this point, for putting us through all this work just to get to this point we no longer know what it is for. The lesson is: It is here that we must ask only for what sparks joy...so we need to not "think" about it but simply feel it, allow ourselves to be it...and ask for only that.
6. Period of Achievement: Finally when it is all done and sorted away we realize we know what joy means, we know what tranquility is and we experience peace of mind.  Not because everything in our Life is finally tidy and in order.  No... there will always be chaos and messes to clean up...but we achieve the peace perfect learning provides  when we let go. We just let go and decide to allow Life do what Life does. We trust and we learn to simply be!

All is well in my world.

References:

A Course in Miracles (2007) Manual for Teacher's.  Foundation for inner Peace

Tidying up with Marie Kondo. Netflix