I don't want the door [to Life] to stay open...I want the door to be taken off its hinges and thrown away.
Michael Singer
Imagine there was no opening and closing...no need to decide if you should allow something in or if you should slam the door on it...resist it? Imagine if Life could just blow in and through you without any fearful reaction from you. Imagine staying open to Love despite fear. ...and eventually having no fear...just Love.
Many of us are spending our lives opening the door a crack every now and again to let something in or slamming it and locking it so nothing we fear can get in. We depend on the hinges of the door to allow us to do so. We believe we need the door for our protection Yet, Singer reminds us when we decide to do that we have:
traded off the light and beauty in your life for fear...you chose to close your mind and heart.
Many of us, because of fear, are willing to choose safety over love. Our need to protect ourselves with these doors over the heart, mind, and soul are so very important to the psyche. It is the psyche that built the door and determines when it opens and when it closes. And we all know by now that our psyches are a little bit cra-cra, right?
In October of 23...my family and I were attacked by someone who was in a drug induced psychosis. This individual, in the midst of his rage, tore down our kitchen door, right off the hinges, removing our main barrier to the outside world. When we discovered that he was released shortly after being arrested we felt so very vulnerable...we suddenly had no protection. We realized how much we depended on the ability we had to close that door to appease our fear and to defend against anything potentially fearful.. While we struggled to put up the door on new hinges and a new frame...I imagined what Life would be like if no one had any doors on their houses (in theCanadian summer that would not be a lot of fun lol- black flies and mosquitos would eat us alive :)) I imagined what it would be like if there was no fear and no need to protects one's 'self' from anything out there. That both terrified me to imagine that and it it also felt so freeing.
After the incident, I watched my family very carefully to see how they were dealing with this trauma. For months they double locked that door...sometimes going to it in the middle of the night to make sure it was locked. Everytime there was a knock at it or some noise on the other side of it...they would open it just a crack to look outside before deciding if they should let whomever or whatever come in. As soon as what ever came through, they would then slam it shut and double lock it again. Their fear ruled their lives. They were, as a result, very closed to many other experiences. Sigh!
To a lesser degree, isn't that what most of us do with every moment of our lives? We hide behind closed doors in order to protect these "me"s we created. We resist so much and open to so little because of past experiences and the fear of having that pain repeated.
Months after the incident, I again imagined a life where no doors were needed. I imagined a life without fear dominating our choices. I know that fear is a very natural protective instinct we have and it is necessary for our very survival. A life without fear is probably not in our best interests...but a Life dominated by Love rather than fear, is. Maybe we can still learn to keep the doors to our inner selves open, even in the presence of fear. Maybe that extreme vulnerability my family and I experienced a year or so ago is something we can stop resisting and allow in. Vulnerability is a sign we are open. When we are open ...yeah, sure the things the mind deems as "bad or threatening" might come inside but so will sunshine, fresh breezes, the sounds of an amazing world, and other beings we can love. Fear might not go away but should we listen to it every time it tells us to close the door? How much beauty and Love are we closing to when we do that?
If there were no doors to open or close...we wouldn't have to make the choice to do so would we? There would be nothing to resist with. Life would just come pouring in and through us. Instead of deciding what to do with Life, we could let Life decide what to do with us. Hmm!
I had another eye opening moment last evening during meditation...I slept on it and awoke with this:
Instead of asking: "What am I to do with Life?"; we should be asking," Life, what do you want to do with me?"
Our ultimate goal, maybe, is not to learn to keep the door open...but to be able to take the door right off the hinges and to live in that state of openness where Life can blow right through us. I personally want to stop focusing on what my fearful little psyche wants from this life. I am so very tired of living under fear's control. I much rather live under love's. I want to focus on what Life might want of this human that I am without the sick psyche's control in the way. I want all need to decide to open or close gone. Without a door there would be nothing to open or close. I want my psyche and its noisy door out of the way.
What about you?
Hmmm! Something to think about.
All is well.
Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True (February 6, 2024) Breaking Barriers: Finding Joy Within.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03eXIujpzPM&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1
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