If you know how to use your inner space, you will constantly be making miracles. If you do not know how to use your inner space, you will constantly be making accidents.
Swami Nithyananda
I woke up thinking of two things today. Number one: I need to write Michael Singer. Why woul I write Michael Singer? Am I becoming some type of "groupie fan" lol? I don't know why I need to write him but I had the great thought in my head as I woke up to write him. I don't even know how to write...how to reach him. I don't even know what I would say. Doesn't matter...the thought is there...just as it was for the book I have spent my entire summer on. "Write! You don't need to know why. It is not about "you". The answers will come later. Just write!" Hmm!
Karma? Am I Creating Accidents?
The second thought that entered my mind was, "Am I creating accidents?" Of course, the thought did not come exactly in those words. This morning I found myself wondering, as I often do, why the external events around me are so often negative. I see others close to me who are not having the same issues this human I call me is having. (Sure they have their issues with children etc but they automatically seem to have the means to do good by them, to get the intense help, quickly, they need etc, while I don't seem to have that material backing or that luck. Their children are swiped in and out of programs, (and I am sooo glad they are getting the help they need. I truly am.) My daughter, though, has been waiting a year and a half for a psychiatry appointment and has been suffering everyday. It is a good day when she has the motivation to get up and wash her face and brush her teeth, an even better day when she showers, and wow!... a celebration when I can get her to walk around the yard with me a few times or go golfing. I have another who could use a long term in house program but I cannot afford it. I am struggling finacially to make the mortgage and look after my now dependent adult children on a very small pension while others seem to have so much...not only that...they seem to keep attracting more finacial abundance into their lives . We agreed to go on a trip with some who have the means to travel all the time and we cannot afford it...at all. We will need to work plus, plus to pay for it over the next couple of years. I seem to only be able to work so much before the body begins to act up...so I am wondering if I will ever be able to pay for it before I die. If I get sick I have a history of going years without a diagnosis, lots of shaming-no diagnosis, and therefore no treatment or no finacial support. (Thus my finacial situation right now). People around me get sick and they seem to get everything I couldn't get very quickly. Loved ones are driving around in fancy new high end vehichles and I cannot afford even an old second hand vehichle- I am dependent on others to drive me. Yes, I know a thousand tiny violins are playing all over the world to echo my footssteps travelling down Self-Pity Lane. lol That sounds so petty and whiny, I know. Not my intention...it isn't. Though I am certianly struggling with some human envy and self pity tendencies lol.... I just want to express how that question, "What am I doing karmically?" comes up.
I tell myself, this is my karma. And I am perfectly okay living out my karma...especially if it is multigenerational...but...I would like to know that is why I experience what I experience. It would help to accept and embrace what is more gracefully and gratefully. What if these negative life experiences are , however, unnecessary and just a result of something I am doing mentally and emotionally? What if I am creating all this mess outside me because of something I am thinking, doing, or feeling?
As I question that, I come across a video and that line above comes serendipitously to my questioning mind. It puts the question into articulate form. "Am I creating accidents because I do not yet know how to use my inner space correctly? Are the others creating miracles because they do know how to use their inner spaces correctly? Is my negativity...my conditioned expectations... creating negative accidents? It is one thing if I am creating suffering for myself...but if my untrained mind is creating suffering for others...man that would be hard to handle.
Regardless, of my life situation right now and the cause of it...I do want to cleanse, purify, get rid of samskaras. I want suffering to end.
Swami Nithyananda, in the below linked video tells us in order to purify and move up the yogic ladder we must do what we can to cleanse the first four layers of samskara. There are seven layers but we only have conscious control over four of these.
The Seven Layers of Chakra Healing
1. Physical layer.Physical body: cleansing from the intense desire for rest. This desire for rest many of us have as may be seen in our need for vacations will not give us rest as long as it is motivated by samskara. Most of our need for rest is motivated by samskara, is it not? We want to run away into an idea of peace we have so we can escape the problemed mind. Right? In order to advance here, we need to cleanse here first. Once we cleanse away this craving for rest, this sloth and torpor, Swami says we are 90 % accomplished on our spiritual path.
Man, I have been caught up in this one for a long time. This intense need for rest likely led to my so called "illness". I am not a lazy person. I put 120 % into everything I do ( when I do lol). I won't do until I know I can put that much into it. Lots of times I get caught up "not doing" because I don't think I can invest that energy into it.
Maybe activity is the antidote for sloth and torpor?
Swami relays a story from the Upanishads where a disciple goes to his Master for direction on becoming enlightened. The Master says, "Take my 400 cows and come back when you have 1000, then you will be enlightened." The student agrees and goes off. Years later he comes back with 1000 cows. The Master says, "Now you are enlightened. and on top of that you now have 1001 cows." The owning of 1001 cows would be a sign of worldly prosperity and abundance in India back then. This would be similar to what Jesus said, "Seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added on." Matthew 6: 33 ESV . The disciple first sought enlightenment and once he made that his priority, he received worldly abundance, "added on", Hmm! Anyway, by having the cows and keeping them...there was constant work and activity. No time for rest and no time to crave the idea of rest. The disciple was able to cleanse himself of this intense need for rest. He purified the first layer. I need to purify this layer. There is samskara there keeping me stuck in what swami referred to as "chronic fatigue".
2. Prana: Cleansing from desire. In the prana layer we have movement of energy...breath. We need to cleanse away those samskaras that affect our breathing pattern, our energy, in a negative way. Desire...the hope for something in the future. ...pulls all our energy into the future. We need to cleanse ourselves of desire.
If your energy is continously moving towards the future it is desire...if you energy is flowing continously towards the past it is guilt.
Note: Funny that in the Five Hindrances of Buddhism...that which keeps us from attaining enlightenment...Desire... is first and sloth and torpor (the intense desire for rest) is third. Hmm!
3. Mental; Cleansing from guilt. Guilt about what we have done or didn't do in the past needs to be cleansed next.
4. Emotional: Cleansing from emotional pain. We need to allow all painful samskaras to come up, relive them, and then let them go. This is healing.
Reliving is relieving. Relive and release.
Anything after step five is beyond our conscious control. We just need to focus on getting to this point.
5. Deep sleep: It is a place of graveyard silence: mind can't do anything about our samskaras here because it is an unconscious layer. When we have not cleansed adequately the first four layers, our ability to deep sleep is altered. We see so much sleep issues in this culture for that reason.
6. Meditation: It is a place of intense silence...when we are cleansed in the first four layers, we will fall into this silence easily and naturally. The cleansing that goes on here has nothing to do with the personal mind.
7. Enlightenment: Will only occur when we are cleansed of all samskaras.
Wow! I have some work to do. Worth a listen.
All is well!
Kailasha's SPH Nithyananda ( 2012?) Samskaras and the Seven Layers-Deep Truths.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yx00NGbMb04
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