More on Knots

 I was reminded of this that I wrote a few years ago. I tweaked it a bit as I tend to do when I read poems again after years of not reading them! Good or bad...? All relative right? No need to judge. 

Knots!  Knots!  Knots!

Twining, spiraling,
the strong unfrayable strands
coil around each other,
forming a ball of knotted flesh
at the center of our being.

Like a string of  determined weeds
emerging  in unruly fashion
from the same root system,
miniature versions
of tangled memory,
terror, desperation and regret
 sprout up between
the fibers of unassuming  muscle.

Wrapping their misbehaving limbs,
like deranged  tentacles,
around the sinewy chords
of  shoulders, back and neck,
 they  laugh eerily
with each movement
in reminder
of what was and
of what may never be.

They spread out
into the  throat,
distorting voices,
making it challenging
to cry out "stop'
as they settle in jaws
clenched tight with resistance.
Like the hinges on Pandora's box,
these tired rusty joints 
hold the lid closed
in fear the noisy demons
held within
will be released
and never contained again.

Knots! Knots! Knots!

The past leaves
its lingering impressions
in these fragile vessels
of body and mind
in the form of
multiplying knots.
Knots that constrain and restrict,
knots that add confusion to
what is already confused,
knots that nag and pull at us
like persistent toddlers
who demand our attention,
knots that we skip over,
knots that we stuff away,
and knots that we push down
as we reach upward and outward
away from their menacing presence
to something, anything  
that will bring numbing relief.

Oh,  but  no matter how
intoxicated we get
on the world's  many
elixirs  and distractions,
we cannot seem
to  run far enough away 
from  these knots.
Nor can we ignore the way
they painfully  damn up the vessels
Life is meant to flow so
fluidly and gracefully through.
We can not deny  how they
make us choke and cough up
the beauty and joy
that is offered us
before it ever reaches
its intended destination-  

Knots!  Knots!  Knots!

"Knots," the sages whisper
when we cry out in agony,
"can be untied."
"Just listen for the bell within you,"
they instruct with
their kindly examples.
" And stop...just stop when you
hear its sweet reminder;
stop the busy thinking,
moving and the doing.
Take a breath in,
draw that precious
healing prana
through you,
to the center of who you are.
Let it illuminate
each twisted tentacle
that clings to your idea
of  "me" and "them".

View each knot 
in the light of clear vision,
Observe how  the
distorted lengths  of story
and the  limbs of
judgment and assumption
have braided their way  
through your body and mind,
forming gnarled
and garbled obstacles
between you and this moment.

Regardless of how
your hand trembles,
resist your urge
to push away,

or to hold down.
Resist the need for
knowing and labelling, 
and instead
reach out to touch each knot,
just touch it gently.
Hold it in your hands,
feel its sinewy texture
with your entire being
as you  allow it to be
exactly what it is.
Just allow it, accept it.
Notice how it softens
in you as you
look upon it.
Feel the fibers

release
enough for you
to decipher the truth
each filament within
the tangled mess holds...

one knot at a time.
Listen for its sweet voice
to become clear,
remember its forgotten innocence,
 and embrace every
coiled thread of Dukkha
you discover there,
with a heart wide open.

Then breathe out...
Allow the breath
to fall and relax.  
Observe as it flows
like cool, refreshing  water
up, over and through each knot
that continues to 
untwine  and loosen,
its blurry contents

pushed up and out

by the fluid presence.
Feel your mind soften
into emptiness,
your body ease into release
and allow
the fingers of judgment
to slip off your being
freeing you
from the twisted hold
your impressions 
have  had on you.
Feel the letting go
of each knot
and the opening
of your heart
as you untangle,
unwind
and wake up
to a healed mind. "

We may shake
our resistant heads
at this sagely advice
and turn our back
on this ancient wisdom.
We may continue
to give into
the knotted restriction,
contraction
and retraction
 of our existence
in the comfort zone.

Or 

...maybe,
just maybe
we will  choose to
practice as instructed.
Maybe we will  stop;
maybe we will breathe;
maybe we will
notice and embrace
that which we have
 tried to push away

and down

 for much too long.

Knots!  Knots!  Knots!
 
These knots hold
healing  secrets
within them
but the choice
is ours to make.
We get to choose  
whether or not
we remain ensnared 
in the twisted
net of suffering
or if we are released
by each and every knot
we bravely behold

and surrender.

Dale-Lyn April, 2020