Between the stimulus and the response there is a space. In this space is the power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
Victor Frankly
Hmm! Let's look at this space that exists between the stimulus ( that which triggers us) and the response ( the emotional and behavioural reaction). This space is everything...it is who we are. It is the pause between the in and the out breath, our peaceful and kind essence, and it is the back row seat we always have the option to drift back to when we are too caught up in the drama unfolding on the stage in front of us. It is clarity, stillness, silence. It is a kind and loving attention which we can apply to ourselves and to the world to ensure wholesome response.
Tara Brach explains that we all have the biological and conditioned reflex in us to be prepared to react to the negative. We are programmed to look for the negative and potentially harmful stimuli in our environment so we can respond. We are always on alert and ready to do so. (Thanks amygdala! ) As a result, we pull back and away pretty quickly when we set our hands on the hot stove of life. In such a case there is very little time between the stimuli...awareness of that which causes or has the potential to cause pain... and the response. This can make us pretty reactive, anxious, focused on the negative and not too much fun to be around. Often we use that negative focus and hyper alert states against others. And we use it against our selves. We focus our unkind attention on what is or could be wrong with us. In fear of our own inadequacy, we often assume we will be hurt by others or the world and close off in self protection mode or we strike out before we are struck.
But, she reminds us, we also have ingrained in us the capacity for tending and befriending . We have many seeds of compassion, kindness, love in us as well. They are contained in that space between the stimulus and the response...waiting for the opportunity to sprout outward. They are our power. If we take the time to sit in that space...to extend it long enough for us to water and nourish those seeds...our responses will be less reflexive and more wholesome and life affirming for us and for others.
We grow and are freed, the more we are in that space. Why? Because instead of getting lost in fearful, aggressive or unwholesome reactions, we put that kind attention on what really matters...not the stimulus, not the response...but the space itself. That is who we are.
All is well.
Tara Brach (November, 2021) Meditation: Awakening Self Compassion. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMkzlOhnaQU&t=1s
Tara Brach/ Sounds True (2019?) Waking up from the Trance of Unworthiness With Tara Brach. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0G_kS6XIEE&t=1s
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