Cracking?

 High Waters

Cracking, cracking, cracking

the hidden waters, 

for too long forgotten, 

knock against that 

which holds them back.

A trickle, 

then a stream 

emerges  in puddles, 

up and through,

the impressions,

 left by winter's frozen grip.

Cracking, cracking, cracking...

they push

until Spring's  persistent 

intention to renew

unleashes  

the full force of something

so determined to be free.

And "me" , 

as a tiny speck of wooden debris,

once so sure of the solidity 

of that which I  rested upon,

am pulled so violently 

down and away,

Cracking, cracking, cracking...

armour falls apart in pieces.

The once contained force is strong...

my power to suppress,

 push away, 

and hold it back is weak. 

I am swept away 

with the pieces of jagged ice,

crying out 

as they tear into my flesh, 

knocking me around 

until I am dizzy.  

All I thought I was 

is now caught up 

in the turbulent flow...

and "me" 

is cracking, cracking, cracking,

as it is pulled along.

Why is it so surprising?

I have witnessed many 

changing seasons...

many freezings and

many thaws.

This gushing force 

has always been there,

though I could not see it,

hiding in the depths 

beneath  the thick barrier 

of samskaras 

which are now 

nothing but broken chunks. ...

cracking, cracking, cracking.

The flow is taking "me" away

and I am both surprised 

ad frightened by its power.

I reach out to passing shorelines,

seeking something solid 

to hold on to 

so I can pull this weary form

from these cold currents.

But alas ....

everything I attempt to grasp

slips through my fingers,

 becoming nothing but sand

I was never meant to cling to

My resistance is 

....cracking, cracking , cracking.

I have no choice

but to surrender 

to the cracking ice 

and the high waters' release.

It won't be until I let go

and stop resisting, 

until I lay back into the flow,

allowing the samskaras to

brush against me 

and naturally melt around me 

as the waters  continue to rise 

higher, higher and higher,

that I will feel 

the kind, supportive arms 

of this flow,

confidently lifting me up and away

from my old delusions of solidity.

Drifting  back 

into these  fluid arms,

I close my eyes

and breathe.

I allow myself to be

carried by nature's

ever knowing power.

I am being taken, 

the voice within 

the depths whispers,

not to destruction,

but to  freedom.

I am being carried to 

 the infinite space 

of  an ocean

 that never freezes, 

and never cracks.

These high waters

are taking me home.

I want to go home.

Dale-Lyn , January, 2023

Hmm! This came out of me as life continued to knock and knock and knock on my psyche demanding my attention today.  I thought for a bit there,  that I would crack.  Still this was determined to come out. Despite all the  interruptions and other things I had to deal with, both inside and outside, this came out. Imperfect, for sure but it has something in it I am meant to listen to.  

Man I am overwhelmed by life circumstance right now. Why?  because my ice is cracking open and all these pieces of samskaras keep bumping into me, cutting into me, shoving me up against the boulders. I am kind of confused and overwhelmed by feeling that was stuffed inside me for so long. I have to deal with that as well as the circumstances unfolding in front of me.  As my samskaras crack open and are carried away by Shakti I am challenged to stop grabbing for the shoreline and to  just lay back so I can get to that ocean! I  just want to get to that ocean. :) 

All is well!