Surrender to the ebb and flow and honor the parallel coincidences and paradoxes life offers.
My heart is broken right now! As I mentioned I wrote and did up a little children's book for my grand daughter. All her Christmas gift was centered around that book. I was so excited about it. Though I could have chosen a much more cost effective printing company to print it...I chose a company I have published with before because they gauarantee a 4-5 business day printing time, which would mean that ...even though shipping can be be unpredictable at this time of year...the book was guaranteed to be en route to me in plenty of time for Christmas ...if that is...it got printed in that time frame.
It was not. It took over eight business days/over ten days to print, instead of five and was not shipped out until Thursday. Not only that it was sent by courier in a round about way to here, meaning extra stops, extra shipping time. I created and ordered two other books the day before and they will be here by the 21st....which I originally calculated this one to arrive at , otherwise I would have chosen a different printer! My tracking information showed up today for this most precious gift, however, and it will not be here until the 29th! I literally cried!
I am trying to do Christmas differently...less focus on gifting and buying and more on giving from the heart. This was a gift from the heart ...a heart that is now allowing disappointment and resentment to fill it. How Christmassy is that?
My first response after I resisted and cried out "Oh No! This can't be!" was one of blame and anger. I immediately went to the help site offered by this company and told them how disappointed I was. I told them I would never do buisness with them again. Then I spent a good ten minutes seeking evidence for my perceived injustice. "Where on the site did they gauarantee this? In which way are they luring customers in with false or vague promises? Where is the small print that protects them while they offer what seems like assurances at the expense of the customer? I found all that I was looking for that proved a breech in contract and I stewed some more. Out of this precious day I spent about 20 % of it so far stewing in resentment, grief, disappointment and reactivity to a little life circumstance beyond my control! 20 % of a day is too much to spend on negativity. Heck 2 % is...isn't it?
Ironically, today I was also reading in Heskell's book about victimhood and judgment.
What could I have done instead of jumping into reactivity after seeing the tracking email?
The first thing I could have done was simply take a breath. Breathe in deeply what the universe just presented me...and breathe out resistance or attachment, releasing any judgment I have of that thing or event...neither good or bad, right or wrong...just is!
Recognizing the resentment, holding onto it just for a brief second, owning it as something in the mind only, watching and then putting aside the ego's tendency to prove that someone or something 'out there' is responsible for the negative emotions I am suddenly feeling as a result to negative thoughts about this event are the next courses of action to take.
I can breathe in and out again.
I can see what is before me...whatever it is as a blessing or a lesson. This looks like a lesson from the universe that is constantly trying to get me to evolve into higher consciousness and it is such a simple little lesson compared to the others I am getting through right now. :) Be grateful for it!
This lesson is taking me to the practice of choice. I can choose what I focus my attention on.
Do I choose the prison of "victimhood" and "suffering" or do I exercise the power of choice, my ability to free myself from this mental trap? I choose freedom.
Do I choose to stay stuck in negativity here as I spend precious moments proving my right to be upset or do I focus my mind on the positive I want in my life?I want peace!!! My major Life goal!!!
Do I choose resentment, blame, attack and vengeance here then or do I choose forgiveness? Resentment does not bring peace...forgiveness does. This company and the people who work in it are human and humans make mistakes, are stressed under the pressure of demand this season provides. I can focus my attention on the people like me, like you who work there rather than on the company as a whole. I can chose compassion and empathy for them over self righteousness and finger pointing.
Do I choose ego reactivity ( a striking out) or a response from a higher level of spacious consciosness (expressing my disappointment in an honest way without the need to make others hurt or pay)? I reviewed my note and though I expressed my disappointment and honestly told them I probably would not deal with them again, it was not venegance seeking or hurtful. Just honest. Somehow response came out of me even though I felt reactive inside.
Do I focus on the problem at hand that seems I have no control over or do I focus on the possible solutions? Can I get it published somewhere else in time? Can I go back and see what it would cost to have that book sent priority and how long it will take? Can I just wait for the book to come in and offer a pic of it in the Christmas gift...added suspense.
Do I focus and cling to the idea of what I thought this book would bring or do I let the idea go? What I expected the book to bring was just an idea like all expectation. It was not real. My life, my peace, my happiness is not in the future ...is not on hold until Christmas morning. My Life is right here, right now. Hmmm!
Do I continue to focus on what is not seemingly working in my life or do I focus on what I want? Do I focus on scarcity or abundance? Positive occurences or negative? Despair or joy? Fear or Love? Hmmm!
As Erin Fall Haskell asks:
Are you ready to focus on what you want to create in your life and let go of regret, sadness, and past events?
I am grateful for the delay in this book for it offered a lesson I think I am passing. I see myself progressing in this Life 101 course.
You realize that the only thing that can keep you suffering after an event has occurred is your own mind.
All good!
Erin Fall Haskell(2017) Awakening. Kindle Edition
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