Imagine who we would be if we were complaint free. If only one percent of the population was complaint free, we would have the courage to love. I think war would be laughed out of the room. Just imagine, people would speak kinder to each other. We would care more about the children. We would love everyone...Black, Jewish, the chinese, the homeless, your neighbor. We would no longer blame anyone. We would touch each other. It would be the beginning of paradise. Nothing can dim the light which shines within.
Maya Angelou
Hmm! I put a bracelet back on my wrist, the one with the buddhist tassle.
I kind of put aside my committment to the complaint free challenge a few months ago and that was obvious with how much I complained, how negative I have been, and how I had summed my life experience up to being "problematic" over the last couple of weeks especially. I read Day 15 of Heskell's book today and it was entitled "Complaining". Go figure! It kind of reminded me of how I was living in a complaining, fault finding mind and how disempowering that was. I also ironically listened to Eckhart Tolle talk about Dealing with anger, resistance and pessism and yep...it was like I received a gentle nudge from the universe this morning. "You are slipping off the track my dear...get back on". I am so grateful for that!
So what is the most important step into a Complaint Free World? Being aware of the negativity in our heads and what is coming out of our mouths. Sure I have some challenging situations to deal with...but I was definitely "fault finding" and complaining. And that does absolutely nothing but make Life more challenging than it has to be for me and the people around me. . . I don't want that!
Other steps we can take:
- With compassion, patience and understanding we can look at our selves and others who complain as being sick with a contagious illness of conditioning, expressing a sense of inadeqaucy, fear, frustration and powerlessness through the complaining. Sure...it isn't healthy and something we definitely want to change but it will require care and time and lots of practice to overcome this ailment. We need to be easy on ourselves and others as we make this change.
- Begin to change our focus from one of complaining, to one of finding solutions. Instead of feeding the ego's need to complain and do so behind the individual's back, we can open up honest dialogue with the individuals involved. I did that this week and it was very very healing! Instead of focusing on what Life is doing to you...try focusing on what can be done about it. Remember that serenity prayer.
- Change the negative focus on fault, to a focus on gratitude. If it is another person we are building a case against, we can become the defence attorney rather than the prosecutor...we can build up a case for the person. That doesn't mean we deny the behaviour or the choices that are destructive, we just seek things to be grateful for in that relationship because gratitude is so much more healthy and wise than resentment and fault finding. Maybe all we will find on honest reflection is something like, "I am grateful that they showed me, through their destructive choices and treatment that it is not wise for me to stay here; I am grateful that they challenge me so I step beyond my ego etc." For every fault there is usually a blessing...in a person or circumstance. Find the blessing and feel the grace of gratitude replacing the unease of resentment.
- In stead of taking on a 21 day challenge...maybe we can start with a 24 hour. Get through 24 hours without complaining and revel in that amazing accomplishment. Then try another 24 hours.
- Though it looks like my sister may have infarcted ...she is doing well. She has someone I trust and would want as a health care provider looking after her. She is stable and waiting further diagnostic testing to determine if it is a type 1 ( clot/blockage) or type 2( ischemic event from decreased cardiac output/ spasm etc)
- I can seperate my situation from hers and find great peace in that. I am no longer subconscioulsy attempting to bring up my past situation so I have more to complain about. I can focus on "her situation" without complicating it with the drama of my own
- I have expressed my rights and needs to others I was complaining about regarding our living situation in a calm, assertive way and they appear to be following through. I see effort and I am so very grateful for that effort.
- Though the relationships and individuals that have seemed to leave me rattled are far from perfect, they have their value, beauty, greatness, worth and I seek to focus on that.
- I am finding peace in this body, this mind right here and now.
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