The Three B's

When faced with a challenging situation don't react. Follow the Three B's instead:  Step Back, Breathe and then Begin again.
-Me


I use to teach my students this simple formula in my Communications classes.  I used it to prepare them for handling nursing crisis but also  to deal with social interactions that go astray. (In nursing, there can be many :))

I see now, after listening to the wonderful lecture from Eckhart Tolle in Ego , Life and Purpose, that I stumbled upon when it seemed to fit the most in my life, how effective it can be for opening us up to the higher Self. That is the way it works though , isn't it?  We really do stumble across the lessons we need the most when we do...even though they may certainly not feel like anything but a headache inducing nightmare at the time. lol

We can use the three B's in our awakening as well, can't we?  If we want to step away from the mental reaction long enough to tap into that place of spacious no-thought, so we can respond with peace and wisdom rather than ego, we can use these little b's to our advantage.

• First B: Back away or take a physical and mental step back and  away from the situation you are encountering.  In this case, step back from the thought stream. Be aware that you are indeed caught up in it and make a conscious choice to step away.  Being aware of it is a huge step in awakening and watching yourself "think" creates a distance between you and your thoughts. Stepping back gives you space between you and the stream of thought that is threatening to take you into a feeling or behaviour that will bot serve you or the world.  Step back away from mental reactivity
• Second B: Breathe ...of course this essential.  Focusing on breath takes us out of our minds and back into the present moment.  It also fuels the body with much needed oxygen and switches off the sympathetic system that is preparing us for fight or flight. It is a simple  calming and centering technique that is usually very effective
• Third B: Begin again...So we do  need to deal with the situation we are encountering even if that dealing is a conscious decision to walk away.  But in order to deal we need to do so, not from ego, but from that wise presence within us.  We need to step back and breathe first...then we approach the situation calmly, clearly and a heck of a lot more wise than we would be if ego had the reins. We begin again but this time with a clearer mind. 

So even if the situation we are speaking of is getting caught up in a reaction to someone who stepped in front of us in line...we can use these three B's in helping us to step away from ego and begin again with the wiser self.  As soon as it happens, ego may pop in with all these thoughts about how wrong that behaviour is, and how unfair that person is behaving...that it shouldn't be...leading to emotions of frustration, anger,  and upset.  We may have a strong instinctive reaction to growl at the person or to close it all up inside us as we spend the next ten minutes of precious life ruminating over how "unfair it is and how wrong that person is." We miss out on the opportunity for a great moment. We don't have to do this!

We can instead take a physical step away from the person ( that just puts more physical distance between you and the person and the likelihood of a physical reaction) and we step back mentally.  We see how we are thinking about the situation and make a conscious choice to distance from that thought process knowing it will do us little good.

We then breathe and calm the body and mind down.  We clear the head.  We create space between what has happened, what is going on in our minds and what is really important.

Then we begin again.  This time we begin clear headed and with "inspired action".  We may decide to let it go ...realizing that saying or doing anything is really not worth the few minutes of peace you desire.  Or we may gently tap on the person's shoulder and say kindly and respectfully from a place that is not "peeved off" something like, "Excuse me Mam, but I was waiting here first and I would really like not to lose my turn.  I was hoping you would get in the back of the line so we can all fairly get our turn.  Thanks." Say that from a place of calm and see what happens.  You may not effect change in the other person but you expressed yourself calmly and you tried. That part is up to you.

Anyway...all is well.

Eckhart Tolle (2019) Ego, Life and Purpose. ( for some reason can't find the link anymore but will !