Conflict is sleep, and peace awakening.
-ACIM-W-331:1:8
I just finished binging on The Haunting of Hill House. And like ...wow! Sure it was scary and I certainly jumped and screamed at certain points lol...but I was amazed at the wisdom in the story line. This whole idea that conflict is sleep and peace awakening was expressed so clearly. It really was a beautifully scripted allegory about how we are haunted by fear and shame and can be lifted from that when we awaken...when we confront our fears and see them for what they really are. Fear is a dream...(7)
We will all awaken eventually at death but we do not have to wait until then. We do not need to be haunted by the past and suffer our way through life as the Crane kids did. Nor do we have to "end it". We simply need to confront the ghosts that haunt us, accept the world that exists beyond what we can see or perceive with our bodily senses, look at time not as a linear line but as moments "falling like confetti" all around and embrace each of those moments.
I wasn't expecting to find so much of this "aha!' and so much light in a dark and scary movie said to terrify. lol Well done!
Friday, November 30, 2018
Wednesday, November 28, 2018
Autonomy or Suffering?
For all things we perceive are upside down until we listen to the Voice of God. It seems that we will gain autonomy but by our striving to be separate, and that our independence from the rest of God's creation is the way in which salvation is obtained. Yet all we find is sickness, suffering, loss and death.
ACIM-W-328:1:1-3
Wow! We got it all wrong, don't we? We are not going to find the 'salvation' we are looking for through striving, or by building borders around ourselves that separate and defend.
What is this salvation many of us seek? It is simply freedom from suffering. We think we need to do whatever we can to protect ourselves from the suffering life hands out. Do we not often believe that God is out to get us? So we separate and defend this 'little me' we believe is us from all potential villains. We build walls around it, throw our spears from it and from our fortresses we strive to own, attain, and have all the "things' of the world that will fill a hole in us. We mentally argue against our need for each other, the world and God thinking this argument will make us autonomous, strong and successful. It only makes us sick, suffering and victims of illness, loss and death. Is this the salvation we are looking for?
No!
Isn't what most of us want...if we really, really think about it...is just peace of mind and joy and happiness. Do we just not want to be free of fear and feel safe?
Well the good news is ...we can have this. We can be saved. This salvation, however, does not come from our fear induced argument that we need to protect ourselves from Life by separating from God and others. It comes from realizing that our perceptions are upside down. God isn't out to get us. We were not meant to suffer like this...we created all this nonsense in our minds so we can un-create it. We can change our perceptions. We can begin by realizing what God really wants for us.
It is Your Will that I be wholly safe, eternally at peace.
ACIM-W-328:2:3
All is well!
ACIM-W-328:1:1-3
Wow! We got it all wrong, don't we? We are not going to find the 'salvation' we are looking for through striving, or by building borders around ourselves that separate and defend.
What is this salvation many of us seek? It is simply freedom from suffering. We think we need to do whatever we can to protect ourselves from the suffering life hands out. Do we not often believe that God is out to get us? So we separate and defend this 'little me' we believe is us from all potential villains. We build walls around it, throw our spears from it and from our fortresses we strive to own, attain, and have all the "things' of the world that will fill a hole in us. We mentally argue against our need for each other, the world and God thinking this argument will make us autonomous, strong and successful. It only makes us sick, suffering and victims of illness, loss and death. Is this the salvation we are looking for?
No!
Isn't what most of us want...if we really, really think about it...is just peace of mind and joy and happiness. Do we just not want to be free of fear and feel safe?
Well the good news is ...we can have this. We can be saved. This salvation, however, does not come from our fear induced argument that we need to protect ourselves from Life by separating from God and others. It comes from realizing that our perceptions are upside down. God isn't out to get us. We were not meant to suffer like this...we created all this nonsense in our minds so we can un-create it. We can change our perceptions. We can begin by realizing what God really wants for us.
It is Your Will that I be wholly safe, eternally at peace.
ACIM-W-328:2:3
All is well!
Monday, November 26, 2018
Life Doing Life....
From judgment comes a world condemned. And from forgiving thoughts a gentle world comes forth...
ACIM-W-325:1:5-6
I don't even know where to begin. If I write from my heart right now it is going to be all frustration, resentment, doubt, fear mixed with hope, love, a desire to forgive and a desire to forget. If I write from mind right now it will be all story. If I write from the Observer of mind and heart, there will be just this simple reminder:..."Wow! A lot of learning going on. Don't forget you are not the so called 'problem', just the watcher of it. From that place there is no problem...just Life doing Life."
Hmmm! Right now that observation...is getting covered a bit by the turbulent weather of mind and heart...but if I ponder the sky/space beneath ...eventually I might come to know I am the sky beneath. The thoughts, feeling, story and situations are just passing clouds...that's all! Man ...I would like to know that right now...
All good!
Friday, November 23, 2018
Training the Wandering Mind
I cannot lose the way. I can chose to wander off a while, and then return.
(ACIM-W-324: 1:3-4)
I read this line in my ACIM lesson for today and it hit home. It spoke to not only finding our way down Life's many paths but I could also see it applying to meditation.
Wandering Away From Home
We can never actually lose this peaceful state that is within us for it is who we really are. We can, however, wander away from it at ego's urgings. We can allow our minds to become cluttered by mental modifications and a need for 'more' of something. We can grasp, and seek, and cling, and fight and defend our way along paths that take us away from this natural state. We can wander away from home.
But we will eventually return...that's a given...even if it isn't until we die. It is assured we will return to this peaceful state because it is home. Home is always there with its bright warm lights welcoming us back and we need do nothing but turn towards it and chose not to wander off any longer.
Meditation: A Training that Keeps Us in the Property Lines
I see meditation(and mindfulness) as practice, a learned thing, that will stop us from wandering off so we can eventually reap the benefits of being home.
Our desire to run off away from home/ truth/ our peaceful state leads to suffering...or Dukkha. Yet, like the animals we are, we are often compelled to seek more out there in a world we made up in our heads.
What can we do?
We can train ourselves to recognize that home is where we want to be and that wandering away causes pain.
Have you ever seen those electric fences used to train dogs who naturally like to wander off, following their five senses (especially the nose) in search of something 'more', to stay within the property lines? An invisible fence is created around the perimeter and guideposts are set up to let the dog know he is getting close to leaving home. The first sign of wandering is met with little white flags and the dog who is wearing a collar will hear a buzz when he gets close to that. Another buzz will go off in his ear when he goes beyond it and if he makes it to the actual fence he will get a gentle shock. (Believe me the gentle shock hurts a lot less than the impact of a vehicle would.) Eventually with enough practice the dog will learn to be aware of the signs and will avoid exposing himself to unnecessary suffering. He will learn that leaving this present state causes unnecessary discomfort.
He will begin to explore instead the yard he is in, finding all kinds of wonderful satisfying things there . He will discover that everything he needs is already where he is. He doesn't have to search; he doesn't have to wander or risk things like fast moving traffic that could damage or kill. He doesn't have to get lost. He doesn't need to be chained or tied, either. He can wander freely around home.
In meditation practice, we can remember that. We can remember that our peaceful state is here within us, going nowhere. Everything we need is here. We are already everything we need to be. Dashing through the busy traffic of our minds is not only dangerous but it can never give us what we truly want...what home provides.
Until we remember we want to be home, wandering off is going to happen. It is human nature. Our minds are so conditioned to followed our noses, our five senses, and ego's lead into thought and feeling. No big deal. We need to learn to expect that we will wander.
Training the Wandering Mind
The thing is we can train ourselves to stay home so we do not wander off into the illusionary world thought creates. We can learn to calm the mind-stuff.
It is not easy at first. Minds wander. We can, however, gradually learn to recognize the signs we are wandering off. We can begin by realizing that Life has already set up the perfect learning tool.
Maybe every minor discomfort we experience, every feeling of confusion and questioning as we step close to the end of property lines...are like the white flags and gentle buzzing offered to dogs. Maybe Life is signalling that we are getting close to straying from home. Many of us will ignore the white flags and the buzzes, so convinced that what we need is "out there.". We will keep going despite the buzzing in our ears.
We will walk right into the shocks offered by Life and suffer the sudden pain as circumstances and loss and illness gets zapped through our experiences. Still, after the shake of the head and the falling down, we may get back up to "push past it"...We will learn to endure it, ignore it, live with it...convinced that what we want and need is out there somewhere. We won't learn from the pain. We keep going.
Then some of us require getting struck my those fast moving vehicles before we realize that we do not want to suffer anymore. For many of us...it takes that sort of crisis or suffering to get us to turn and look towards home.
So to assist Life in the learning of these valuable lessons...we can practice meditation and mindfulness. We can learn to be present.
We will likely start with finding ourselves in full fledged suffering again and again as we begin a meditation practice. (We will keep hitting that fence and finding ourselves running terrified out into the noisy, busy, unsettling traffic). We retrace our steps. Eventually we learn to recognize the outer buzz of warning before we get there and next the inner buzz and then the white flag blowing gently in our mind's eye as we make our way back home.
In other words we begin to catch the mind wandering and then coming home step by step, practice after practice, "Oh I am going off again. " We keep wandering, keep recognizing the signs that we are wandering and we either chose to endure the fence or come back into home. That is what the practice entails...what the training requires.
Eventually, we realize that home is the place to be. We no longer need the fence or any of the reminders. There is nothing out there that we need or want to make us whole. Searching for it just causes unnecessary suffering. We settle where we are and find pure peace, joy and contentment. We can never lose the way because home is the way. Unlike the dogs we are not being confined against our wills...we are being freed to be who we really are.
Meditation can be like an electric fence that trains us to stay within the property lines of our natural state of being. It is all about awareness. The more we practice, the more we learn to observe the signs we are wandering off so we can come back home. Wander, come home...wander, come home...wander, come home... until we decide not to wander anymore, not to suffer anymore.
All is well in my world.
(ACIM-W-324: 1:3-4)
I read this line in my ACIM lesson for today and it hit home. It spoke to not only finding our way down Life's many paths but I could also see it applying to meditation.
Wandering Away From Home
We can never actually lose this peaceful state that is within us for it is who we really are. We can, however, wander away from it at ego's urgings. We can allow our minds to become cluttered by mental modifications and a need for 'more' of something. We can grasp, and seek, and cling, and fight and defend our way along paths that take us away from this natural state. We can wander away from home.
But we will eventually return...that's a given...even if it isn't until we die. It is assured we will return to this peaceful state because it is home. Home is always there with its bright warm lights welcoming us back and we need do nothing but turn towards it and chose not to wander off any longer.
Meditation: A Training that Keeps Us in the Property Lines
I see meditation(and mindfulness) as practice, a learned thing, that will stop us from wandering off so we can eventually reap the benefits of being home.
Our desire to run off away from home/ truth/ our peaceful state leads to suffering...or Dukkha. Yet, like the animals we are, we are often compelled to seek more out there in a world we made up in our heads.
What can we do?
We can train ourselves to recognize that home is where we want to be and that wandering away causes pain.
Have you ever seen those electric fences used to train dogs who naturally like to wander off, following their five senses (especially the nose) in search of something 'more', to stay within the property lines? An invisible fence is created around the perimeter and guideposts are set up to let the dog know he is getting close to leaving home. The first sign of wandering is met with little white flags and the dog who is wearing a collar will hear a buzz when he gets close to that. Another buzz will go off in his ear when he goes beyond it and if he makes it to the actual fence he will get a gentle shock. (Believe me the gentle shock hurts a lot less than the impact of a vehicle would.) Eventually with enough practice the dog will learn to be aware of the signs and will avoid exposing himself to unnecessary suffering. He will learn that leaving this present state causes unnecessary discomfort.
He will begin to explore instead the yard he is in, finding all kinds of wonderful satisfying things there . He will discover that everything he needs is already where he is. He doesn't have to search; he doesn't have to wander or risk things like fast moving traffic that could damage or kill. He doesn't have to get lost. He doesn't need to be chained or tied, either. He can wander freely around home.
In meditation practice, we can remember that. We can remember that our peaceful state is here within us, going nowhere. Everything we need is here. We are already everything we need to be. Dashing through the busy traffic of our minds is not only dangerous but it can never give us what we truly want...what home provides.
Until we remember we want to be home, wandering off is going to happen. It is human nature. Our minds are so conditioned to followed our noses, our five senses, and ego's lead into thought and feeling. No big deal. We need to learn to expect that we will wander.
Training the Wandering Mind
The thing is we can train ourselves to stay home so we do not wander off into the illusionary world thought creates. We can learn to calm the mind-stuff.
It is not easy at first. Minds wander. We can, however, gradually learn to recognize the signs we are wandering off. We can begin by realizing that Life has already set up the perfect learning tool.
Maybe every minor discomfort we experience, every feeling of confusion and questioning as we step close to the end of property lines...are like the white flags and gentle buzzing offered to dogs. Maybe Life is signalling that we are getting close to straying from home. Many of us will ignore the white flags and the buzzes, so convinced that what we need is "out there.". We will keep going despite the buzzing in our ears.
We will walk right into the shocks offered by Life and suffer the sudden pain as circumstances and loss and illness gets zapped through our experiences. Still, after the shake of the head and the falling down, we may get back up to "push past it"...We will learn to endure it, ignore it, live with it...convinced that what we want and need is out there somewhere. We won't learn from the pain. We keep going.
Then some of us require getting struck my those fast moving vehicles before we realize that we do not want to suffer anymore. For many of us...it takes that sort of crisis or suffering to get us to turn and look towards home.
So to assist Life in the learning of these valuable lessons...we can practice meditation and mindfulness. We can learn to be present.
We will likely start with finding ourselves in full fledged suffering again and again as we begin a meditation practice. (We will keep hitting that fence and finding ourselves running terrified out into the noisy, busy, unsettling traffic). We retrace our steps. Eventually we learn to recognize the outer buzz of warning before we get there and next the inner buzz and then the white flag blowing gently in our mind's eye as we make our way back home.
In other words we begin to catch the mind wandering and then coming home step by step, practice after practice, "Oh I am going off again. " We keep wandering, keep recognizing the signs that we are wandering and we either chose to endure the fence or come back into home. That is what the practice entails...what the training requires.
Eventually, we realize that home is the place to be. We no longer need the fence or any of the reminders. There is nothing out there that we need or want to make us whole. Searching for it just causes unnecessary suffering. We settle where we are and find pure peace, joy and contentment. We can never lose the way because home is the way. Unlike the dogs we are not being confined against our wills...we are being freed to be who we really are.
Meditation can be like an electric fence that trains us to stay within the property lines of our natural state of being. It is all about awareness. The more we practice, the more we learn to observe the signs we are wandering off so we can come back home. Wander, come home...wander, come home...wander, come home... until we decide not to wander anymore, not to suffer anymore.
All is well in my world.
Thursday, November 22, 2018
Peace Again
And we are at peace again, for fear is gone and only love remains.
-ACIM-W-323:2:4
The natural state
According to Patanjali as well as other great spiritual philosophies, peace is our natural state of being. The citta vrttis, or the modifications of the mind-stuff, disturb that peace. (Satchidananda, page 4)
Ego creates the mind stuff. We are peaceful until we let all that fear based ego thinking get in the way.
Control the rise of the mind into ripples
The Yoga Sutras tell us that we need to learn to slow those old minds of ours down enough, so we can see beyond the dust they create, to who we really are. Patanjali taught that by controlling the rising of the mind into ripples, we can experience this connection with our natural selves again. It will involve practice. That is what yoga is, what meditation is, what mental control is, what mindfulness is...a practice. It is a practice that takes us back to a mind freed of all the grasping, the anxiety, the doubt that fear creates. Slow down!
What part of us needs to practice?
But if who we really are is already peaceful why do we need to practice these things? It is the image you or the ego-you that does all the Yoga practice. not the real you.(page 222)
It is good to know that beyond this busy tormented mind, there is peace, there is joy and there is love.
All good!
-ACIM-W-323:2:4
The natural state
According to Patanjali as well as other great spiritual philosophies, peace is our natural state of being. The citta vrttis, or the modifications of the mind-stuff, disturb that peace. (Satchidananda, page 4)
Ego creates the mind stuff. We are peaceful until we let all that fear based ego thinking get in the way.
Control the rise of the mind into ripples
The Yoga Sutras tell us that we need to learn to slow those old minds of ours down enough, so we can see beyond the dust they create, to who we really are. Patanjali taught that by controlling the rising of the mind into ripples, we can experience this connection with our natural selves again. It will involve practice. That is what yoga is, what meditation is, what mental control is, what mindfulness is...a practice. It is a practice that takes us back to a mind freed of all the grasping, the anxiety, the doubt that fear creates. Slow down!
What part of us needs to practice?
But if who we really are is already peaceful why do we need to practice these things? It is the image you or the ego-you that does all the Yoga practice. not the real you.(page 222)
It is good to know that beyond this busy tormented mind, there is peace, there is joy and there is love.
All good!
ACIM-Workbook
Satchidananda, Sri Swami (2011) The Yoga sutras of Patanjali. Yogaville; Integral Yoga Publications
Monday, November 19, 2018
Sunday, November 18, 2018
Offering Whatever Talents We Have
Use the talents you have. You will make it. You will give joy to the world. Take this tip from nature: the woods would be a very silent place if no birds sang except those who sang best.
-Bernard Meltzer (Brainy Quotes)
What is your special talent, the one thing you can offer the world that will bring it joy? Do you openly express it or are you held back by your social story? How do you react to others and how does this prevent you from doing the thing you do that makes you...you? I am wondering if my social/writing story relates to yours in anyway?
Awkward
After much practice, learning and confronting my fears I can now stand up and speak in front of 600 people without a quiver in my voice but I am still a bit awkward in social situations. I avoid 'exposure' of my vulnerability, of my 'broken' parts for fear of scrutiny and judgment. The egos of other people, frankly, scare the crap out of me. :)
I tend to stand back and a little away from other people. When I do approach or share in a 'social forum' my speech is often flushed, rushed and/or backwards lol. I may stutter or stammer or say something I shouldn't have said. The image I create is far from what I feel I am and wanting to protect that sense of self from egos that I fear can do so much damage, I pull back even farther.
It is much easier, I discovered, to appear aloof and distant...to step back and away...to become a lone-wolf or a wall-holder-upper rather then the center of attention. If anybody notices my retreat, I then become in other opinion...someone who is too 'stuck up' or 'too into herself' to care about others. Of course, that is not the case but who am I to argue with social opinion?
Social Story
That has been my social story for as long as I can remember (for almost 50 years). If I feel I have something important to say though, something that goes beyond my ego or the egos of others, something that has the potential to heal...I will step out there into the spotlight. I will let whatever is in me, beneath all my conditioning, my fear and my shame, to do what it has to do. It is almost like I have no choice. Something bigger than my fear and my shame takes over. Potential 'exposure to scrutiny and judgment ' seems like such a trivial and insignificant risk at those times. I am not held back. Thus my ability to public speak, to teach and to write the things I write. I do not seek ego fame and fortune through these mediums...I seek release. They truly are beyond me. I don't call it 'talent' as much as I call it a need to offer and share.
Offering and Sharing
This blog and my other writing has been like a high school dance for me. For the most part I lean against a wall in the back of the room. I may appear distant and aloof but part of me does want to connect. From that protective spot I shout out all the things I want to say. I remain unseen and unheard. It's safe and comfortable to be hidden away (little readership)but at the same time I get the release I long for. I'm okay with being the least popular kid in the room as long as I can write.
Every now and again, though, the thought that I need to get out of my comfort zone and connect pulls at me. So gingerly and hesitantly, I step out to the center of the dance floor in order to increase readership. There are soooo many kids on the floor, many of them prettier, smarter, and much more popular than me. Still... I introduce myself. I stutter and stammer as I do. I feel myself blushing and trembling. I feel extremely uncomfortable.
Few even stop to pay attention to my awkward introduction and the ones that do stand there with their hands on their hips and their heads titled to the side saying "What the Front door?"
Awkward!
I want nothing more, at these times, then to retreat back into the shadows. I want to run away but if I feel what I have to say needs to be heard...that 'thing within me' takes over. I have no choice but to stand where I am and do my thing. I don't look to see who is giving me the thumbs up or down. I don't speak to the egos in front of me, I speak to what is beyond them. Awkwardness slips away and this part of me slips out to express Itself.
When I have said what needs to be said...I gingerly and hesitantly walk back to hold up the wall again. It is only then, there in the darkness away from the scrutinizing eyes of others, that I check to see if I have been heard. Has my readership increased? Has a publisher or agent found merit in my work? Have I been understood and accepted?
The Outcome is not your problem
Hmmm! So far I remain an 'unknown.' I mean I do receive a thumbs up every now and again through publications and bumps in readership or comments and I am grateful for them. They keep me going. But for the most part, in high school popularity terms, I am not being seen and heard despite the effort it takes to go beyond the comfort zone.
The question is: am I okay with that? I think I am. I think as long as I can release this thing inside me out onto the page it's all good. As long as I try every now and again to step out of my comfort zone to be heard by someone its all good. I guess it is not my role to get all hung up on the outcome. I just need to write, and then step out there and attempt to connect that writing to an audience every now and again. When I do, I have done my job, regardless of how socially awkward I may feel. The rest is not up to me. :)
Moral
So what is the moral of this big long rampage? Comfort zones are okay for awhile, especially when you are creating, but after you create whatever it is that makes you... you...than at least try to share it. Step out away from safety and offer what you have to the world. What others do with it is not up to you. The opinions others have of you are not yours to own. And the outcome of anything you pursue is not your responsibility. Creating and sharing is.
All is well in my world.
Friday, November 16, 2018
Awareness: The Essence of Meditation
The essence of meditation is awareness. Awareness is like space and space can not be changed by clouds. Beautiful clouds, ugly clouds, dark clouds or bright-can not change space.
-Mingyur Rinpoche
In a lecture to potential meditators in London, Buddhist Monk Mingyur Rinpoche explains the practice of meditation through his own story of dealing with childhood panic, explaining how to meditate and by offering the audience exercises to practice.
These are some of the key points I gathered from that lecture:
What Meditation and Awareness are:
Four trouble shooting remedies in practice:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukTaodQfYRQ
All is well!
-Mingyur Rinpoche
In a lecture to potential meditators in London, Buddhist Monk Mingyur Rinpoche explains the practice of meditation through his own story of dealing with childhood panic, explaining how to meditate and by offering the audience exercises to practice.
These are some of the key points I gathered from that lecture:
What Meditation and Awareness are:
- The essence of meditation is awareness.
- We are all aware
- Awareness is always there. The problem is we sometimes get lost in mental activity: thought, feeling, sensation and activity that we do not see it
- These things can cover the "space" like clouds or turbulent weather but awareness is still there unchanged behind them
- The practice of meditation involves recognizing and tapping into that space, that awareness again and again.
- One moment we are mindful and the next we are lost...we bring ourselves back to a state of being aware of being aware. Then we forget again and go off. We bring ourselves back to that awareness of being aware. It is a constant process of going from not being aware, to be being aware that we are not aware, to being aware we are aware.
- Back and forth and back forth until the little moments of awareness, of space become longer and longer...until awareness opens up into something grander bit by bit.
- It is a slow, mundane and sometimes boring practice of training the mind to recognize awareness...when we are aware of awareness.
- It is the formation of a new healthy, life enhancing habit
- As long as we can see a river (the mind) flowing past us we know we are not in it. If we were in it, we wouldn't see it and we would be swallowed up by it. We wouldn't want to be swallowed up by a dirty turbulent river would we? (Most of our monkey minds are such rivers). If we were going to fall into the river and we all will...from time to time...we want to make sure that river is calm so we can float along. Meditation helps to create a calm river...a calm mind.
- Don't resist anything!
- We must not resist thought, feeling, sensation or experience when we practice meditation. We must welcome and allow anything that is in our experience into our practice.
- He relays how he overcame severe panic attacks by welcoming panic without judgment...simply allowing it and being curious and interested in the sensations it provided...from a place of awareness.
- These intense emotional experiences that we sometimes judge as 'negative' can be powerful teachers, friends and supporters of our practice. Resisting them makes them persist. Befriending them makes them interesting things to learn from before they leave us...and they will.
- He explained that many of us misunderstand meditation and see it as a practice where we try real hard and we resist stress and negative emotion, call on breath and "Peace" to bring out relaxation...when it is not about struggle or resistance at all
- The more we resist the more whatever we are resisting persists
- 'Meditation can take place anywhere at and time even in the city'...it is just about bringing attention back to awareness
- He kind of made fun of the way I and other westerns sometimes meditate...with hands in Guyan mudra chanting peace or other mantras or focusing on breath. He just stressed that meditation doesn't have to be that structured or challenging.
- He said 'trying' and resisting just makes it more difficult to connect with our awareness of awareness
- He doesn't speak of breath awareness as so many practises do...I assume...and I can only assume...that is because of his panic ( and possible ADHD?) as a child. I can see body sensation would be an easier focus in those situations where awareness of breath may increase these feelings???
- He also closes eyes where other Buddhist teaching recommend opening the eyes and focusing on a spot in the visual field about 12 inches down from the tip of the nose( a form of Trataka from the yoga tradition?)
- I guess the key thing is then...do what works for you.
- If we simply make meditation about becoming more aware at any time or anywhere...it becomes so much easier (He does not use the term mindfulness)
- He encourages meditating in the beginning on body sensation...just becoming aware of sensations in the body from head to toe.
- He also says it is good to listen to sound...Buddhist bells in particular.
- The preferred way will depend on the individual but going back and forth between the two ways is recommended so one doesn't get bored
- Accept all emotional experiences
- don't try to relive a past experience that was joyful...past is past...create new experiences
- Remember that failure is a good thing...it is 'the mother of success'
Four trouble shooting remedies in practice:
- Watch: watch the sensation in the body, simply be aware of it
- Try Something Different: Change focus if necessary. If you find you can't settle with sound try body sensation and if body sensation becomes a problem because of the areas of concern you are focusing on...try focusing on a neutral part of body
- Step Back: mentally from the object of focus...become aware of what is watching it. Observe the observer
- Take a break: if it is still too much of a struggle to meditate which it should never be...take a break from it. Try physical exercise.
- Can be experienced as a physical sensation: top of head, tingling down spine or warm spreading sensation in core
- Can be experienced with extrasensory perception...light and colour etc
- Can be experienced as sensing energy around us from other people or things
- Or it can be experienced as being on an emotional roller coaster
- Experiencing this does not make us special, enlightened, wiser than the next...nor does it mean we are going crazy
- It is a normal response to effective meditation practice
- Need to recognize when we experience it...an indication we are opening up
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukTaodQfYRQ
All is well!
Thursday, November 15, 2018
Letting go of all afflictions
Letting Go
Hearing the bell,
I am able to let go of all afflictions.
My heart is calm,
my sorrows ended.
I am no longer bound to anything.
I learn to listen to my suffering
and the suffering of the other person.
When understanding is born in me,
compassion is also born.
-Thich Nhat Hanh
Put the Mask on First
How many of us attempt to relieve our own sense of pain and turmoil before attempting to relieve someone else's? Not too many of us I suppose. Sometimes, just sometimes, we may even use the suffering of another as a numbing distraction from our own. As long as we are focusing on suffering outside of ourselves, attempting to help, fix and control the so called problems of someone else, we do not have to deal with our own core issues... do we? Some call this martyr syndrome. Buddhists simply call it an ineffective way towards compassion.
Most of you would have heard the saying, "If on an airplane and it is going down put your own oxygen mask on before you help someone else." Think about it! How good are you going to be to the people you love if your brain and body are deprived of oxygen. It only takes a minute to slip the mask on your face, to oxygenate your body so your mind is clear enough to deal with the issues of another.
Heal First
Albeit healing from deep core issues and perceptions of suffering may take more than a minute. But if compassion is our goal, than the time spent on recovery is essential. How good are we going to be to someone else if our loving energy is blocked by perceptions of pain and suffering?
We want to be kind, giving and loving to others so they can heal but if we do not take the time to be kind, giving and loving to ourselves so we can heal...we will not truly be giving them what they need from us. We will be giving from a place of bondage and contraction, rather than from a place of freedom and expansion. Love is all about freedom and expansion. We have to love ourselves before we can truly love anyone else.
Letting Go
How do we heal so we can help heal others? We begin in meditation with a willingness to let go of all resistance we have to suffering. That resistance comes in the form of things like repression, suppression, denial, rationalization, intellectualizing,sublimation and displacement. We use conscious and subconscious defense mechanisms as human beings to protect us from feeling and experiencing our suffering. In other words we stuff, forget, deny, make excuses, stay stuck in our heads, numb with substances or activities or blame and judge ....so we don't have to experience our own emotions. This creates knots within us that prevent the essence of who we really are to shine through.
I am dealing with some issues right now and in my attempt to help others in their own recoveries I am finding myself stuck, drained and overwhelmed. I am gasping. My lips and nail beds are turning blue. I am about to faint ( ironically I am having more near fainting episodes lol) . I need oxygen. I need to recover from what is perceived to be going on inside me. The love I give is heavily diluted by my mucky pain. I need to put my mask on first!
My Knot
I have come so far in this process. I accept what my body is doing for the most part. I accept my financial situation, the losses that have occurred in the last little bit because of my health situation but I realize that something is still holding me back. I have a boulder sized knot in the center of me that I see as my health seeking journey boulder. There has been so much pain and suffering around that experience, a story of victimization leading to feelings of unworthiness, shame, doubt, helplessness, hopelessness, guilt, anger, disbelief, a loss of trust in systems, resentment, and so much fear. I also visualize past trauma to the side of me breathing life into this knot, allowing it to grow...blocking, restricting, contracting me so I cannot go forward in my life, so that I cannot hep in the true way I wish to help.
There is so much pain there that I don't want to deal with. So I stuff it good and deep inside me. Sometimes it seeps out in trickles and I go from feeling hopeless and ashamed to wanting to make people pay for what they did to me or didn't do for me even if it is just with massive amounts of guilt. Then I beat myself up for feeling the way I do and for allowing this to happen. I either blame others or I blame myself. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the fact that I create my own reality so I must have made this happen. I must have made myself sick and I must have made my health seeking experience go the way it did. So much shame! With that shame I curl up in a ball and try to avoid dealing with this situation and the consequences.
It is all just a story where I play the tragic heroine or the pitiful victim. A story I too often get lost in as a character rather than as a reader of it. The creative part of me takes it into poetry or books I have written but there is yet to be a full release from the knot within or a disentanglement from the tale of trauma that still clings to me. I will not be free until I step out of the pages to become the person reading them. How can I be truly there for those I love without release and disentanglement? I need to let go of both. How do I read what I have written instead of feeling lost and tangled up in it?
It is all just a story where I play the tragic heroine or the pitiful victim. A story I too often get lost in as a character rather than as a reader of it. The creative part of me takes it into poetry or books I have written but there is yet to be a full release from the knot within or a disentanglement from the tale of trauma that still clings to me. I will not be free until I step out of the pages to become the person reading them. How can I be truly there for those I love without release and disentanglement? I need to let go of both. How do I read what I have written instead of feeling lost and tangled up in it?
Meditate
Awe! "Meditate" is what comes to me each and every time.
Awe! "Meditate" is what comes to me each and every time.
Meditation can lead us to a calm heart and in that moment we are mindful and connected to presence...we are freed from suffering. It can release and disentangle us from the 'mind stuff' that seems so much like a part of us but truly doesn't have to be. In silence and stillness.
we can see who we are beyond all that mental chatter and perceived suffering
In that state we can listen to our suffering...just listen, without judgment or resistance, with acceptance, understanding and yes loving kindness. We allow suffering. We need to listen to it without the story attached to it. With gentle hands and loving kindness we welcome it into our moment, we hold it close like a mother would hold a weeping child and then we gently remove it from the hold it seems to have on our life. The knots will become undone and the suffering will be heard, felt, experienced then quietly released if we just let it be. Only then, when we are free of affliction's contracting weight, can we expand into understanding and compassion for all. It is then we can truly be of service to the world. It is then we can help others put their masks on.
All is well.
Only when we've been able to relieve our own suffering will we be able to help relieve someone else's.- Thich Nhat Hanh
Thich Nhat Hanh (2011) peace is every breath. New York; HarperOne
Wednesday, November 14, 2018
We are what we Seek
I was created as the one thing I seek. I am the goal the world is searching for.
-ACIM-W-318:1:5-6
Imagine if we knew that, truly knew that we not only already had what we were looking for, we were what we were looking for. There would be no more need to strive, to grasp, to seek endlessly, to compete, to steal, to attack, to lose and to suffer the way we humans tend to suffer. Would there be?
Hmmm!
All is well in my world.
-ACIM-W-318:1:5-6
Imagine if we knew that, truly knew that we not only already had what we were looking for, we were what we were looking for. There would be no more need to strive, to grasp, to seek endlessly, to compete, to steal, to attack, to lose and to suffer the way we humans tend to suffer. Would there be?
Hmmm!
All is well in my world.
Connecting
What I am really focused on is connecting people around shared interests, so together they can make good things happen.
-Pierre Omidyar (https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/connecting)
Like a kid in a candy store filling my bag with mixed candy, I joined several groups last evening. I was just amazed about how many people were actually out there 'waking up' to a different way of approaching life. I wanted all of it lol. It blew me away and it humbled me...reminding me that I am no expert, far from it and I am not 'special' because I think the way I do. At the same time it reminded me I was not alone. I had to try to see it all.
I ate too much of those candies. lol. I am already overwhelmed by Facebook. :) So many beautiful posts exist by beautifully minded individuals and it is like wow! How does one read all of them? Respond to all of them? One doesn't want to offend or exclude. And one doesn't want to like what one may not actually like. I have to regroup a little bit and begin again, I guess. It is amazing though...to see that none of us have to go through this alone.
I have one friend on the Facebook page. Yeah!!! Thank you Stephen! I am not sure how I will approach my own page or this friend thing but it is there. I do not want this to be about how many friends I get. I want it to be about connecting for a higher purpose. All good.
All is well in my world.
Tuesday, November 13, 2018
Facebook anyone?
Social media is not about the exploitation of technology but about service to community.
Simon Mainwaring (https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/social_media)
I just wanted to let you know that I am connecting this blog or at least trying to, to a Facebook page. Just click on the main photo and it should take you there if you are interested.
I am not overly fond of social media. As I have mentioned before, I am concerned about 'the buzz' and the unhealthy distraction it can supply. I have stopped Facebooking personally a year ago and feel better for it.
But ...I also really believe the world might benefit if like-minded individuals connected and came together with their ideas and their offerings. Facebook does provide a wonderful opportunity to do that. Wouldn't it be nice to have more social media pages that concentrate solely on finding a way to peace and fulfillment for all? The minutes used for that purpose of creating something positive would be worthwhile, wouldn't they?
Besides I have been doing all the yapping and the tapping here. I am sure you are bored of the one sidedness of all this. Maybe you have something to share. I would love to hear what you have to say.
I will put myself out there and try to link up with others doing the same thing. (I am a bit social media impaired lol but I will try...). I would be interested in knowing how many people are in the same boat...waking up and wondering what the heck to do now. :)
I am not professing that I will bring any more people to a Facebook page than I have to this blog, lol, but I would like to try. I am not concerned about my pride and numbers of friends and likes and hits...if that was the case I would have stopped blogging long ago. I just want to reach out and see what happens. I would love to hear about other peoples experiences. Maybe isolation doesn't have to be a part of the process. Who knows? We will just open up and take it as it comes.
It's all good.
More on the "I" and "Me" ness of Relating
Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others, I am committed to cultivating loving speech and compassionate listening in order to relieve suffering and to promote reconciliation and peace in myself and among other people, ethnic and religious groups, and nations.
-The Forth of the Buddhist precepts found in peace is every breath,Thich Nhat Hanh, 2011)
I counted close to 100 "I"s in yesterday's post. Even in my attempt to get beyond "I", I end up referring to "I" an awful lot. There were a lot of "me" and "my" and "mine" as well throughout that entry( my eyes are bothering me too much today to count those). Hmmm! That's a lot eh? So much so I can barely see after counting them. And I am in the process of dismantling my attachment to that pronoun. How many would we count if I wasn't? Scary...but that is how we relate to others.
Its funny, in the Communications class that I used to teach (sigh!) I stressed the importance of using that word "I" to help develop healthy assertive communication. Now I am saying...maybe we are using it a bit too much. It is probably important to first become assertive in our relating to others (rather than non-assertive or worse aggressive) before we can take the next step up and beyond that to selfless. I will rationalize with that. The final objective is, however, to get beyond the little "I" and the little "me" all together eventually. (Maybe not in this life time for most of us lol).
It is all good...just thought I would share that. Won't write much today...eyes ( especially the left is aching and blurry...it is hard to write...probs should get that check but honestly believe it is senseless to complain about anything my body is doing with the hope of being taken seriously...yes...I just sat my sorry butt back down on the pity pot lol...but I will get back up... as soon as the eye pain goes. Rgo promises it will only stick round til then :))
It's all good.
-The Forth of the Buddhist precepts found in peace is every breath,Thich Nhat Hanh, 2011)
I counted close to 100 "I"s in yesterday's post. Even in my attempt to get beyond "I", I end up referring to "I" an awful lot. There were a lot of "me" and "my" and "mine" as well throughout that entry( my eyes are bothering me too much today to count those). Hmmm! That's a lot eh? So much so I can barely see after counting them. And I am in the process of dismantling my attachment to that pronoun. How many would we count if I wasn't? Scary...but that is how we relate to others.
Its funny, in the Communications class that I used to teach (sigh!) I stressed the importance of using that word "I" to help develop healthy assertive communication. Now I am saying...maybe we are using it a bit too much. It is probably important to first become assertive in our relating to others (rather than non-assertive or worse aggressive) before we can take the next step up and beyond that to selfless. I will rationalize with that. The final objective is, however, to get beyond the little "I" and the little "me" all together eventually. (Maybe not in this life time for most of us lol).
It is all good...just thought I would share that. Won't write much today...eyes ( especially the left is aching and blurry...it is hard to write...probs should get that check but honestly believe it is senseless to complain about anything my body is doing with the hope of being taken seriously...yes...I just sat my sorry butt back down on the pity pot lol...but I will get back up... as soon as the eye pain goes. Rgo promises it will only stick round til then :))
It's all good.
Monday, November 12, 2018
Lonely wolf?
...So every gift I give belongs to me. Each one allows a past mistake to go, and leave no shadow on the holy mind my Father loves.
ACIM-W-316:1:1-2
Lonely?
Are you feeling lonely as you awaken?
I feel lonely. As the physical world stressors seem to come crashing down on me and I anticipate even greater stress of that nature in the upcoming future...a life change I can not even comprehend really as I lose the bit of 'stuff' I have left...I feel lonely. I want to share 'my story' with someone but I am aware of the reality of my situation. Few people would care to be burdened by such a tale of woe. Few people know or care about the extent of the physical world stressors coming down on me. Few people care about me.
Taking accountability
That sounds like pity, I know, and I am sure my remaining big fat ego would love to stir up some more drama right now...I just don't have enough in my life lol...by convincing me of how so few care. I, however, no longer want to go where ego wants me to...my butt is still red and sore from spending too many years on the pity pot... but I must accept there is a simple truth behind that statement. I am finding myself, like many in this position often do, somewhat isolated from the pack. Maybe you feel the same way.
We may have a tendency to want to feel sorry for ourselves and blame others for our loneliness but we need to be accountable for what we have done to get us here.
I am finally accepting of that truth without pity or blame. I know I got me here! I withdrew. I sought the companionship of awareness over the companionship of others and I have become very comfortable in solitude. I take accountability for my pulling away. No one owes me anything, they never did, I realize that. I chose awakening over socializing. And I don't regret what I have done. I accept the consequences. I do.
Support from the pack
Are you feeling like a lone wolf, standing off from the pack? Are you feeling a bit hungry and cold as a result?
I have been very much a lone wolf. I do, however, long for a certain support in the form of a listening ear or a validating presence from time to time. Someone I can turn to and say, "Look what I am going through! Please tell me it is understandable to feel so 'stressed'?"
Maybe that is just ego wanting that validation so I get lost in story again...or maybe it is generated by a natural human need for support. I am not sure yet.
I know though I have people in my life who love me (and I am sure you have people in your life who love you) despite this "crazy awakening thing "and the isolating tendencies that go with it. I have one or two that listen attentively and try their best to understand but it is hard for them, I know, to get past my 'crazy new way of thinking'.
And the list of life stressors I flash around is a little surreal and hard to believe let alone digest. I have a sense that I am overburdening others, confusing them, expecting too much from them. I don't want to do that. I also don't want to get buried in story again and I definitely do not want to bury others in my story. So I tend not to share too much.
I also have others who feel I left them when I looked towards healing and are angry or resentful because of it. They may be collecting grievances against me.. They may want me to suffer...just a bit. I am afraid to approach them. :)
And there have been others, in the recent past, who care but who unintentionally rejected me and my story. Not meaning to offend or hurt, not even aware possibly of what they were doing, they often shut me down so they could relay their own stories or they shut me out of their minds all together when my story did not involve them. And I, being 'the awakened' and 'enlightened' one lol, felt it was my job to put 'me' aside as well for them. But I wasn't awakened as I thought I was, far from it, because I could never put 'me' away for long. It stung each and every time. So much so I withdrew further away. I still fear that subtle rejection and hold my tongue before I spit out too many "I" and "me"s. I withdrew verbally as well as physically.
'I' and 'me' in the way of human relating
Oh but the learning that came from that withdrawal. I have learned to observe and examine human relating from a less subjective perch. The "I", I notice, is just so prevalent in many people's minds (mine included). Too many of us just don't have time to think beyond that "I" for long enough to be truly present for another person's story. It is just the way it is. It was never anything personal or anything I haven't done myself that led to this feeling of loneliness., this perceived isolation..though ego would love to convince me otherwise. It is simply a problem with the over identification of I and me, I believe, that is the problem in human relating today. That is why so many of us feel lonely.
Finding our way back to the pack
We are social animals though, aren't we? We need the protection and support of the pack for our survival. We especially need it as we make the transcension from "I" to "all".
I want to transcend the selfish limitation of "I" and "me''. To that I have to learn, in some way, to be kind to this self that does the expressing. I need to see that I deserve the pack's support.
I am in the process of reaching out to others. I have contacted professionals. I know that my external stressors are too plentiful for even the most enlightened mind and my mind, being so far from that enlightenment, needs a little help sorting things out.
I reached and have been reaching out to D. who does his best to understand me. He is always so patient and supportive despite.
And I have reached out to a couple of my siblings from time to time. It is hard though because patterns of relating have been established over the years, labels and ideas about who each of us is in terms of roles have become entrenched in our psyches and forms the basis of our relating. It is hard to let go of that. Many in my family still see me stuck to the pity pot so if I started talking about my issues there would likely follow the habitual way of responding: diminishing, shutting me down, reprimanding or judging. I fear that I can't handle that right now....but I will work on finding a way through it.
I have to accept the fact that though I definitely do not preach to anyone (other than here...if you call this preaching) my whole personality is different than the one others identified with. I am not the person they believe me to be. If I ever was that person, I don't know. It is uncomfortable for them to come to terms with that. It is much easier to think that I am just "crazier than a bag of hammers" lol because I have changed so much. (God knows, I feel that way many times :)) Or it may be easier to shut me out a bit because it is uncomfortable to relate to me this way or think of me at all.
Relating to others
How we relate to others is much more important than how they relate to us. Are you noticing a shift in the way you relate to others? When you are listening to story are you more open or closed than you were before?
In truth, I don't know how to relate to anyone anymore, if I ever did. I am impatient with egos, mine and other people's . I don't like small talk and I easily drift off when people are talking about their vehicles or their houses. When I listen to 'real' story I am more present than I ever was but there is a down side to that. It is physically and emotionally draining. I see so much, I feel so much beyond the words. I soak up emotions like a sponge and if there is pain being expressed as there often has been...I become saturated with the pain. It will stick to me. I will dream about it. I will walk around heavy for days and I feel 'sick'. This goes beyond healthy compassion and empathy and I have so much to learn here. I have to find a healthy way to settle into this way of relating to others. I will.
It's a Learning Process
Maybe, we should cut ourselves some slack. I suppose relating as well as awakening is all a big learning process we need to make our way through. It will take time to learn to approach and relate to others in a healthier way. It will take time to settle comfortably back into the pack. Loneliness may be a part of the learning for a while.
So I am lonely and that's okay. I may and may not find someone to talk to about all this in a way that feels good and that is okay too. I just want to settle into everything that is going on in Life...to settle into it and just let it be. I can begin that by settling into my loneliness and just allowing that to be what it is.
All is well.
ACIM-W-316
ACIM-W-316:1:1-2
Lonely?
Are you feeling lonely as you awaken?
I feel lonely. As the physical world stressors seem to come crashing down on me and I anticipate even greater stress of that nature in the upcoming future...a life change I can not even comprehend really as I lose the bit of 'stuff' I have left...I feel lonely. I want to share 'my story' with someone but I am aware of the reality of my situation. Few people would care to be burdened by such a tale of woe. Few people know or care about the extent of the physical world stressors coming down on me. Few people care about me.
Taking accountability
That sounds like pity, I know, and I am sure my remaining big fat ego would love to stir up some more drama right now...I just don't have enough in my life lol...by convincing me of how so few care. I, however, no longer want to go where ego wants me to...my butt is still red and sore from spending too many years on the pity pot... but I must accept there is a simple truth behind that statement. I am finding myself, like many in this position often do, somewhat isolated from the pack. Maybe you feel the same way.
We may have a tendency to want to feel sorry for ourselves and blame others for our loneliness but we need to be accountable for what we have done to get us here.
I am finally accepting of that truth without pity or blame. I know I got me here! I withdrew. I sought the companionship of awareness over the companionship of others and I have become very comfortable in solitude. I take accountability for my pulling away. No one owes me anything, they never did, I realize that. I chose awakening over socializing. And I don't regret what I have done. I accept the consequences. I do.
Support from the pack
Are you feeling like a lone wolf, standing off from the pack? Are you feeling a bit hungry and cold as a result?
I have been very much a lone wolf. I do, however, long for a certain support in the form of a listening ear or a validating presence from time to time. Someone I can turn to and say, "Look what I am going through! Please tell me it is understandable to feel so 'stressed'?"
Maybe that is just ego wanting that validation so I get lost in story again...or maybe it is generated by a natural human need for support. I am not sure yet.
I know though I have people in my life who love me (and I am sure you have people in your life who love you) despite this "crazy awakening thing "and the isolating tendencies that go with it. I have one or two that listen attentively and try their best to understand but it is hard for them, I know, to get past my 'crazy new way of thinking'.
And the list of life stressors I flash around is a little surreal and hard to believe let alone digest. I have a sense that I am overburdening others, confusing them, expecting too much from them. I don't want to do that. I also don't want to get buried in story again and I definitely do not want to bury others in my story. So I tend not to share too much.
I also have others who feel I left them when I looked towards healing and are angry or resentful because of it. They may be collecting grievances against me.. They may want me to suffer...just a bit. I am afraid to approach them. :)
And there have been others, in the recent past, who care but who unintentionally rejected me and my story. Not meaning to offend or hurt, not even aware possibly of what they were doing, they often shut me down so they could relay their own stories or they shut me out of their minds all together when my story did not involve them. And I, being 'the awakened' and 'enlightened' one lol, felt it was my job to put 'me' aside as well for them. But I wasn't awakened as I thought I was, far from it, because I could never put 'me' away for long. It stung each and every time. So much so I withdrew further away. I still fear that subtle rejection and hold my tongue before I spit out too many "I" and "me"s. I withdrew verbally as well as physically.
'I' and 'me' in the way of human relating
Oh but the learning that came from that withdrawal. I have learned to observe and examine human relating from a less subjective perch. The "I", I notice, is just so prevalent in many people's minds (mine included). Too many of us just don't have time to think beyond that "I" for long enough to be truly present for another person's story. It is just the way it is. It was never anything personal or anything I haven't done myself that led to this feeling of loneliness., this perceived isolation..though ego would love to convince me otherwise. It is simply a problem with the over identification of I and me, I believe, that is the problem in human relating today. That is why so many of us feel lonely.
Finding our way back to the pack
We are social animals though, aren't we? We need the protection and support of the pack for our survival. We especially need it as we make the transcension from "I" to "all".
I want to transcend the selfish limitation of "I" and "me''. To that I have to learn, in some way, to be kind to this self that does the expressing. I need to see that I deserve the pack's support.
I am in the process of reaching out to others. I have contacted professionals. I know that my external stressors are too plentiful for even the most enlightened mind and my mind, being so far from that enlightenment, needs a little help sorting things out.
I reached and have been reaching out to D. who does his best to understand me. He is always so patient and supportive despite.
And I have reached out to a couple of my siblings from time to time. It is hard though because patterns of relating have been established over the years, labels and ideas about who each of us is in terms of roles have become entrenched in our psyches and forms the basis of our relating. It is hard to let go of that. Many in my family still see me stuck to the pity pot so if I started talking about my issues there would likely follow the habitual way of responding: diminishing, shutting me down, reprimanding or judging. I fear that I can't handle that right now....but I will work on finding a way through it.
I have to accept the fact that though I definitely do not preach to anyone (other than here...if you call this preaching) my whole personality is different than the one others identified with. I am not the person they believe me to be. If I ever was that person, I don't know. It is uncomfortable for them to come to terms with that. It is much easier to think that I am just "crazier than a bag of hammers" lol because I have changed so much. (God knows, I feel that way many times :)) Or it may be easier to shut me out a bit because it is uncomfortable to relate to me this way or think of me at all.
Relating to others
How we relate to others is much more important than how they relate to us. Are you noticing a shift in the way you relate to others? When you are listening to story are you more open or closed than you were before?
In truth, I don't know how to relate to anyone anymore, if I ever did. I am impatient with egos, mine and other people's . I don't like small talk and I easily drift off when people are talking about their vehicles or their houses. When I listen to 'real' story I am more present than I ever was but there is a down side to that. It is physically and emotionally draining. I see so much, I feel so much beyond the words. I soak up emotions like a sponge and if there is pain being expressed as there often has been...I become saturated with the pain. It will stick to me. I will dream about it. I will walk around heavy for days and I feel 'sick'. This goes beyond healthy compassion and empathy and I have so much to learn here. I have to find a healthy way to settle into this way of relating to others. I will.
It's a Learning Process
Maybe, we should cut ourselves some slack. I suppose relating as well as awakening is all a big learning process we need to make our way through. It will take time to learn to approach and relate to others in a healthier way. It will take time to settle comfortably back into the pack. Loneliness may be a part of the learning for a while.
So I am lonely and that's okay. I may and may not find someone to talk to about all this in a way that feels good and that is okay too. I just want to settle into everything that is going on in Life...to settle into it and just let it be. I can begin that by settling into my loneliness and just allowing that to be what it is.
All is well.
ACIM-W-316
Sunday, November 11, 2018
Awakening
The universe is here to awaken you, not to make you happy but when you do awaken you become happier in a deeper way.
-Eckhart Tolle
That is good to know because I am so confused and not exactly bursting with happiness. I am more peaceful than I ever was because I embrace the waking up process. I am certainly willing to endure all the bumps and bruises I am experiencing on my way there. It is just comforting to know it wasn't meant to be easy. :)
-Eckhart Tolle
That is good to know because I am so confused and not exactly bursting with happiness. I am more peaceful than I ever was because I embrace the waking up process. I am certainly willing to endure all the bumps and bruises I am experiencing on my way there. It is just comforting to know it wasn't meant to be easy. :)
The challenges of Life are used in the service of awakening.
-Eckhart Tolle
Saturday, November 10, 2018
Future: An Extension of the Present
From new perception of the world there comes a future very different from the past. The future now is recognized as but extension of the present. Past mistakes can cast no shadows on it, so that fear has lost its idols and its images, and being formless, it has no effects. Death will not claim the future now, for life is now its goal, and all the needed means are happily provided. Who can grieve or suffer when the present has been freed, extending its security and peace into a quiet future filled with joy?
ACIM-W-314:1:1-5
A little more on transcending unhappiness from A Course in Miracles
I read that this morning and was swept up by that wisdom. It relates to what we were talking about yesterday(well what I was writing about lol...sometimes I forget I am no longer standing in front of a classroom...my apologies): the happiness/unhappiness conundrum as well as previous discussions on time and presence. Let's look at what is so wise about this lesson. We will take it a part bit by bit.
From new perception of the world
Ahhh! That's the key, right? To create a new perception...a new way of looking at the world. How we perceive will determine everything we look upon.
there comes a future very different from the past
When we change the way we perceive the world, we change the way we see time. Our view of the future now is going to change. It is going to be different than the way we viewed it in the past and therefore different than the past itself.
Previous to this new perception, we may have seen the future as an extension of the past. We expect, anticipate, hope for and worry over the likelihood of things happening based on how we have come to understand life from our past experience.
For example, say in the 'past' I had a lot of issues with authority figures, felt shamed or diminished around them and I came to believe that authority figures were people who shamed and caused fear. My boss calls and tells me to meet him in his office at the end of the day. He doesn't sound happy. What are the next few hours of my day going to be like, I wonder? I will be worried and anxious over what will happen in the future. My mind will be full of future thoughts rather than present moment awareness and it will also be full of the past because I am anticipating a repeat of the past in the future.
Well this portion of the lesson is telling us that with a new perception the future will be different than the past. We won't make that link.
The future now is recognized as an extension of the present.
Instead of connecting the future with the past we will connect it with the present. In fact, the present moment, all there is really in reference to time, will simply be extended. Instead of having this moment and then the next moment and then the next moment after that...we just have one big long continuous moment. So when we think of the future we think of it in terms of 'now".
Past mistakes can cast no shadows on it
If we perceive this way the future, which is the now, cannot be contaminated by any mistakes we or the world made in the past. It begins now...clean slate. Past is dead and buried, no where to be found. We don't drag all those thoughts of our sins, reasons for unworthiness, our stories, our conditioned judgments or the sins of others into this present moment.
We do not have the shadow of those past memories with other authority figures hanging over us all day as we anticipate the upcoming meeting.
so that fear has lost its idols and its images
Fear manifests in our stories, attachment to ideas and beliefs, identities and the mental pictures we create in our heads. Our thoughts about the past create fear for the future...without that past thinking...fear has nothing to hold onto.
Our memories of past experiences with authority figures are the idols and images that create this anxiety in us about the upcoming meeting with our boss. But fear will lose these once we accept the present moment as all there is to time.
and being formless it has no effects
When we are truly present in the here and now instead of ruminating over what happened yesterday or ten years ago, not projecting those awful memories into the future creating worry, anxiety and fear that they will happen again...we see that fear has no form. We become aware that it has nothing of substance. It cannot effect us. It cannot hurt us
Death will not claim the future now,
The fear of death is said to be the mother fear of all fears because it manifests in several forms...the fear of loss, the fear of isolation, the fear of the unknown. Most of our thinking moments before we awaken are consumed in one way or another by the fear of death, in any of its forms. This fear grows when we see ourselves the way ego wants us to. We do not know who we are; we over identify with mind and body, believing that once the body ceases to be so do we. The so called 'future' is an unpredictable and scary place when we think like this, offering little safety and security. It is always dominated by death.
This ending of 'self' does not mean the ending of "Self". We realize that with this new perception. When we slip into presence we see that death has no place in the present moment. Fear has no power, death has no power.
I don't believe it means, that our bodies will never die. They will but just because they do doesn't mean we do. All things in this world of form, including our bodies, will come and go. When we truly get that... we don't waste the sacredness of each moment with obsession over the eventuality of death in any of its forms.
for life is now its goal
The only goal for the future, which is just an extension of this moment, is life. I don't think most of us truly know what it means to 'experience' life....to simply me wholly present in the here and now. We are so contracted with fear, we tend to avoid it. Without fear we would surely live , wouldn't we? That should be our future goal...to live fearlessly.
and all the needed means are happily provided
Life provides what we need to live fully. Our minds tend to be everywhere but on this realization. When we are ego based/fear based we tend to think in terms of scarcity and a need to struggle to survive. We cling, we strive, we seek endlessly, we defend and attack to get what we need. When we no longer fear we become aware that Life has our back and we are being provided for. Though these provisions may not always come in the way we expect them to or think they should...Life is happily providing for us each and every moment.
Who can grieve and suffer when the present has been freed
We free the moment from mental bondage when we put aside our notions of past and future. When we are present moment focused there is no sense of having lost or no fear of losing...so there is no grief. When we are freed from past and future focus...meaning when we are no longer so much consumed by our thinking...we do not suffer. We become 'present' and we and the moment become free.
extending its security and peace into a quiet future filled with joy?
We find security and peace in presence, in going beyond thinking to awareness. We are perfectly safe there. It is perfectly peaceful there. And from there we extend this security and presence into a never ending moment. No big bangs or whistles, maybe, but joy. True happiness!
In a Nutshell
We will experience true happiness: a sense of peace filled security in presence and awareness when we perceive differently, extending the moment into the future. Awareness and presence exist as they always will beyond the clouds of fear and time. We can be nothing but happy when we truly realize this truth: All there is is now....one long continuous now.
All is well
Sources
Foundation for Inner Peace. (2007) Work Book. A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume. Third Edition. Mill Valley: Foundation for Inner Peace
ACIM-W-314:1:1-5
A little more on transcending unhappiness from A Course in Miracles
I read that this morning and was swept up by that wisdom. It relates to what we were talking about yesterday(well what I was writing about lol...sometimes I forget I am no longer standing in front of a classroom...my apologies): the happiness/unhappiness conundrum as well as previous discussions on time and presence. Let's look at what is so wise about this lesson. We will take it a part bit by bit.
From new perception of the world
Ahhh! That's the key, right? To create a new perception...a new way of looking at the world. How we perceive will determine everything we look upon.
there comes a future very different from the past
When we change the way we perceive the world, we change the way we see time. Our view of the future now is going to change. It is going to be different than the way we viewed it in the past and therefore different than the past itself.
Previous to this new perception, we may have seen the future as an extension of the past. We expect, anticipate, hope for and worry over the likelihood of things happening based on how we have come to understand life from our past experience.
For example, say in the 'past' I had a lot of issues with authority figures, felt shamed or diminished around them and I came to believe that authority figures were people who shamed and caused fear. My boss calls and tells me to meet him in his office at the end of the day. He doesn't sound happy. What are the next few hours of my day going to be like, I wonder? I will be worried and anxious over what will happen in the future. My mind will be full of future thoughts rather than present moment awareness and it will also be full of the past because I am anticipating a repeat of the past in the future.
Well this portion of the lesson is telling us that with a new perception the future will be different than the past. We won't make that link.
The future now is recognized as an extension of the present.
Instead of connecting the future with the past we will connect it with the present. In fact, the present moment, all there is really in reference to time, will simply be extended. Instead of having this moment and then the next moment and then the next moment after that...we just have one big long continuous moment. So when we think of the future we think of it in terms of 'now".
Past mistakes can cast no shadows on it
If we perceive this way the future, which is the now, cannot be contaminated by any mistakes we or the world made in the past. It begins now...clean slate. Past is dead and buried, no where to be found. We don't drag all those thoughts of our sins, reasons for unworthiness, our stories, our conditioned judgments or the sins of others into this present moment.
We do not have the shadow of those past memories with other authority figures hanging over us all day as we anticipate the upcoming meeting.
so that fear has lost its idols and its images
Fear manifests in our stories, attachment to ideas and beliefs, identities and the mental pictures we create in our heads. Our thoughts about the past create fear for the future...without that past thinking...fear has nothing to hold onto.
Our memories of past experiences with authority figures are the idols and images that create this anxiety in us about the upcoming meeting with our boss. But fear will lose these once we accept the present moment as all there is to time.
and being formless it has no effects
When we are truly present in the here and now instead of ruminating over what happened yesterday or ten years ago, not projecting those awful memories into the future creating worry, anxiety and fear that they will happen again...we see that fear has no form. We become aware that it has nothing of substance. It cannot effect us. It cannot hurt us
Death will not claim the future now,
The fear of death is said to be the mother fear of all fears because it manifests in several forms...the fear of loss, the fear of isolation, the fear of the unknown. Most of our thinking moments before we awaken are consumed in one way or another by the fear of death, in any of its forms. This fear grows when we see ourselves the way ego wants us to. We do not know who we are; we over identify with mind and body, believing that once the body ceases to be so do we. The so called 'future' is an unpredictable and scary place when we think like this, offering little safety and security. It is always dominated by death.
This ending of 'self' does not mean the ending of "Self". We realize that with this new perception. When we slip into presence we see that death has no place in the present moment. Fear has no power, death has no power.
I don't believe it means, that our bodies will never die. They will but just because they do doesn't mean we do. All things in this world of form, including our bodies, will come and go. When we truly get that... we don't waste the sacredness of each moment with obsession over the eventuality of death in any of its forms.
for life is now its goal
The only goal for the future, which is just an extension of this moment, is life. I don't think most of us truly know what it means to 'experience' life....to simply me wholly present in the here and now. We are so contracted with fear, we tend to avoid it. Without fear we would surely live , wouldn't we? That should be our future goal...to live fearlessly.
and all the needed means are happily provided
Life provides what we need to live fully. Our minds tend to be everywhere but on this realization. When we are ego based/fear based we tend to think in terms of scarcity and a need to struggle to survive. We cling, we strive, we seek endlessly, we defend and attack to get what we need. When we no longer fear we become aware that Life has our back and we are being provided for. Though these provisions may not always come in the way we expect them to or think they should...Life is happily providing for us each and every moment.
Who can grieve and suffer when the present has been freed
We free the moment from mental bondage when we put aside our notions of past and future. When we are present moment focused there is no sense of having lost or no fear of losing...so there is no grief. When we are freed from past and future focus...meaning when we are no longer so much consumed by our thinking...we do not suffer. We become 'present' and we and the moment become free.
extending its security and peace into a quiet future filled with joy?
We find security and peace in presence, in going beyond thinking to awareness. We are perfectly safe there. It is perfectly peaceful there. And from there we extend this security and presence into a never ending moment. No big bangs or whistles, maybe, but joy. True happiness!
In a Nutshell
We will experience true happiness: a sense of peace filled security in presence and awareness when we perceive differently, extending the moment into the future. Awareness and presence exist as they always will beyond the clouds of fear and time. We can be nothing but happy when we truly realize this truth: All there is is now....one long continuous now.
All is well
Sources
Foundation for Inner Peace. (2007) Work Book. A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume. Third Edition. Mill Valley: Foundation for Inner Peace
Friday, November 9, 2018
Looking for a Buzz: What Happiness Isn't
Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.
Jim Rohn (https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/happiness)
Our Idea of Happiness
Let's face it, most of us in the west do not have a clue what "happiness" actually means. We live in a culture that is in constant search for a buzz, a high of some kind that takes us away from the perceived and judged feeling of pain. We need that feeling so we seek it in everything we do or we constantly grasp for things outside ourselves to provide it. What we want is anything that takes us from having to be still in this moment. That is what we call happiness. Distraction, escaping, numbing and running from the present moment in search for something better is what we tend to do.
The Buzz
We need a buzz...we need a sensation or feeling other than boredom. Boredom is the first sign we are still and man we cannot be still, can we?
We get a buzz from the electronics in our hands so we are constantly tweeting, Facebooking, Snapchatting, Instragraming what we want others to believe is this state. We post the best selfies of the best life and we see only the best pics of others in their best portrayal of the perfect life they want us to envy. Having someone envy us brings a buzz, doesn't it even if what we portray is not a 100% real? Striving to achieve what others seem to have is also buzz inducing. Social media is a perfect supplier of this buzz.
We get a buzz from activity so we do more, move fast, keep going. We push, push, push, do, do, do, move, move, move. Heaven forbid we should stop for a minute and see how exhausted we are or to ask even...where it is we think we are going? The movement is the buzz. It is intoxicating and addictive.
We get a buzz from seeking to achieve or own the "things' of the physical world that sparkle like diamonds in the distance. We seek money; we seek material possessions; we seek the best body; we seek the best job, the best houses, the best education, the best social recognition. We seek the best image, assuming this is happiness. We reach for the buzz that never lasts when we attempt to attain any of these things. If we get them, we just end up needing more like junkies chasing the dragon. We will never sustain that buzz this way.
Is this happiness?
But this is our idea of happiness isn't it? Both Eckhart Tolle in "The end of ego morning star" and Gelong Thibeton in "Choose Happiness" address this need to redefine happiness. Tolle states that Happiness is a generic term. It differs from culture to culture. In happiness studies done throughout the world, it is not countries that have so much in terms of material wealth that rate the highest in this area. In fact , the US and Britain rank 18th and 19th falling below countries like Israel and Costa Rica. This type of life style pursuit does not bring happiness. (Forbes)
I believe there are six reasons why we are not as happy as we can and should be.
Reasons for a sense of unhappiness:
- We confuse ego happiness for real happiness. According to Tibetan Buddhist Monk, Gelong Thubeton True happiness is a state of freedom. In our reckless pursuits for the accumulation of more we take ourselves toward bondage rather than towards freedom. (Satchidananda,2011)We are constantly attempting to add 'more' to our sense of "Me" and "My life": more stuff, more approval, more knowledge,...so much so the "I" gets smothered beneath it. This is not freedom. This is not happiness. Happiness is a natural state of true contentment that is always with the deeper I...we just can't experience it if we are buried beneath the 'junk' we accumulated. Happiness then is a freeing ourselves from attachment to these piles on top of us. It is not the accumulation of more but the freedom of less attachment that will bring happiness.
- Endless wanting causes unhappiness. In our constant wanting of the feeling, of the buzz we neglect to experience and know the happiness that is already in us where it has always been. Our searching outside ourselves for things of the physical world to make us happy, 'the buzz" leads to more and ore unhappiness. Like drug addicts we can never be satisfied in this type of seeking.(Gelong Thubton)
- By depending on the unpredictable to provide happiness we will never find happiness. Let's look at the things of the outside world that we are dependent on to bring us happy. Money, for example. We think a certain amount in our bank account will provide happiness. How realistic is that? It may bring momentary security and pleasure but sustained happiness? No. This money can go just as quickly as it comes in. We live in a constant state of anxiety trying to ensure we do not lose what we have or trying to make more. What about the special person who assume will make you happy? How predictable is that? They may leave you. They may die. You may not be able to find that special person in this lifetime. Things come and go; jobs come and go. Some days people will love you and other days they won't. Depending on the unpredictable things of this physical world will not sustain happiness. (Gelong Thubton)
- A lack of gratitude for what we have. As long as we are seeking more we are living in a state of deficiency. We are focusing on what we don't have rather than on what we do have. This causes great unhappiness. The antidote? Be grateful for what you do have in your life.
- We resist the moment as it is right here and right now. The only place happiness can be experienced is in the present moment because that is all there is. We too often use the moment just as a stepping stone to get to the next moment. If we are constantly seeking a buzz in the next moment we are not settling into this one. It is almost as if we believe the next moment, which is nothing but a thought in our head, is more important than the moment that we are presently in.
- We want happiness for the "little me" when it is really all about the greater Self. Happiness can never be achieved and contained for the ego. True joy is not a selfish thing but a selfless one. If we want happiness we need to put away our question: "What can the world give me that will make 'me' happy?" for "What can I give to the world to make all happy."
So how do we turn this around so we can experience happiness? We can start by realizing that happiness is freedom. Then we can stop our endless seeking for things outside the Self. We can see how unpredictable the physical world is and start depending on the true Self within as the provider of happiness. We can practice gratitude and of course we can learn to accept the present moment for all it is. We have to learn to be still. Finally, we can seek to serve the world rather than expect to be served by it.
If we do not seek a buzz from meditation, it can help us do all of these things.
All is well in my world.
References.
Madden, D. ( March, 2018) Ranked: Ten Most Happiest
Countries in the World. Forbes. Retrieved from; https://www.forbes.com/sites/duncanmadden/2018/03/27/ranked-the-10-happiest-countries-in-the-world-in-2018/#1a7d178273e9
Thubton, Gelong (2015) Gelong Thubton: "Choose Happiness"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1B-_qhG_rM
Thursday, November 8, 2018
Meeting Pain with Love rather than Judging it with Fear
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
-Khalil Gibran (https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/pain)
Hmm! A little more on judging pain.
One of the things we often judge and then do whatever we can to avoid is pain, right? We don't like pain, discomfort, suffering or any of those thoughts and feelings that go with it. We resist experiencing it and we resist thinking about it. We fear it! We may come to meditation practice with the intention even of 'escaping pain'.
I know that was one of the reasons why I began meditating. I wanted to put an end to all those nasty thoughts in my head. Meditation was going to 'clear out the clutter' wasn't it? It was going to make my mind a blank slate?
How realistic is that? Really?
I learned very quickly that I couldn't end thinking simply by wanting to. So I told myself I would selectively think, only allowing the good thoughts, the positive thoughts in my mind during meditation practice as well as through the rest of my day. I put a little guard with a stop sign in my head that would actively halt any negative thoughts that tried to enter. The poor guy got trampled within seconds of starting his new job.
The basis of meditation training is not to get caught up in the fruitless mind activity of resisting thinking but to simply become aware of it and bring self back to an experience of less thought. As soon as we tell ourselves not to think painful thoughts, what happens? Our heads get flooded with them. If I told you right now not to think of monkeys, what do you think you would suddenly think about? Monkeys, right? Resisting anything makes it persist. Resistance of painful thoughts creates even more painful thoughts. Resisting the experience of pain creates more pain. Hmmm!
What determines a painful thought or experience and the need for resistance? Perception!!! A Course in Miracles teaches, I see all things as I would have them be. (ACIM-W-312). I will see and experience things as I think they are. It goes on to say,Perception follows judgment. Having judged, we therefore see what we would look upon. (ACIM-W-312:1:1-2) . The real problem with perception is judgment. We are judging things as bad or good, acceptable to our experience of living or not acceptable. "Pain" is a judgment.
Breaking Down the Judgment
Let's examine the judgment we made about pain that determines our perception and experience of it. What is pain anyway? Is it really something to be avoided? Is pain really the opposite of happiness?
I watched a wonderful little video of a lecture yesterday on meditation by a Buddhist monk named Gelong Thubeton (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vTviVkFJzM). In that video he stressed that the discomfort we feel is actually the key to happiness and compassion rather than something to be avoided in meditation practice as well as daily life. When we embrace pain as we do all our emotions we open up to something big. By expanding our awareness around all feelings, dropping the story line and relating with compassion to that emotion we will meet a feeling of kindness and love toward self and others. Allowing pain can actually take us to happiness.
His biggest piece of wisdom offered in that video was to meet pain with love.
Meeting Pain with Love
How do we meet pain with love instead of fear? By dropping the judgment of it as something that should be avoided, we allow pain and painful thoughts to be. We become observers of those things, aware of them like maternal figures watching children.
In our meditation practice we can allow all thoughts to be without resistance, without fighting or struggling against them. Just let them enter our moment knowing they can bring us into that place where we really want to be. They bring us back again and again with our awareness, our gentle maternal observance.The more we allow pain the more we learn we are not the pain but simply observers of it.
If pain (and painful thinking) is met with love rather than resistance we make friends with reality and that brings us joy. (Gelong Thubeton). If we all could simply allow pain and learn from it the world would be a better place.
I have no purpose for today except to look upon a liberated world, set free from all the judgments I have made. (ACIM-W-312: 2:1)
All is well.
References
ACIM
The Power of Conscious Awareness/Gelong Thubeton https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vTviVkFJzM
-Khalil Gibran (https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/pain)
Hmm! A little more on judging pain.
One of the things we often judge and then do whatever we can to avoid is pain, right? We don't like pain, discomfort, suffering or any of those thoughts and feelings that go with it. We resist experiencing it and we resist thinking about it. We fear it! We may come to meditation practice with the intention even of 'escaping pain'.
I know that was one of the reasons why I began meditating. I wanted to put an end to all those nasty thoughts in my head. Meditation was going to 'clear out the clutter' wasn't it? It was going to make my mind a blank slate?
How realistic is that? Really?
I learned very quickly that I couldn't end thinking simply by wanting to. So I told myself I would selectively think, only allowing the good thoughts, the positive thoughts in my mind during meditation practice as well as through the rest of my day. I put a little guard with a stop sign in my head that would actively halt any negative thoughts that tried to enter. The poor guy got trampled within seconds of starting his new job.
The basis of meditation training is not to get caught up in the fruitless mind activity of resisting thinking but to simply become aware of it and bring self back to an experience of less thought. As soon as we tell ourselves not to think painful thoughts, what happens? Our heads get flooded with them. If I told you right now not to think of monkeys, what do you think you would suddenly think about? Monkeys, right? Resisting anything makes it persist. Resistance of painful thoughts creates even more painful thoughts. Resisting the experience of pain creates more pain. Hmmm!
What determines a painful thought or experience and the need for resistance? Perception!!! A Course in Miracles teaches, I see all things as I would have them be. (ACIM-W-312). I will see and experience things as I think they are. It goes on to say,Perception follows judgment. Having judged, we therefore see what we would look upon. (ACIM-W-312:1:1-2) . The real problem with perception is judgment. We are judging things as bad or good, acceptable to our experience of living or not acceptable. "Pain" is a judgment.
Breaking Down the Judgment
Let's examine the judgment we made about pain that determines our perception and experience of it. What is pain anyway? Is it really something to be avoided? Is pain really the opposite of happiness?
I watched a wonderful little video of a lecture yesterday on meditation by a Buddhist monk named Gelong Thubeton (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vTviVkFJzM). In that video he stressed that the discomfort we feel is actually the key to happiness and compassion rather than something to be avoided in meditation practice as well as daily life. When we embrace pain as we do all our emotions we open up to something big. By expanding our awareness around all feelings, dropping the story line and relating with compassion to that emotion we will meet a feeling of kindness and love toward self and others. Allowing pain can actually take us to happiness.
His biggest piece of wisdom offered in that video was to meet pain with love.
Meeting Pain with Love
How do we meet pain with love instead of fear? By dropping the judgment of it as something that should be avoided, we allow pain and painful thoughts to be. We become observers of those things, aware of them like maternal figures watching children.
In our meditation practice we can allow all thoughts to be without resistance, without fighting or struggling against them. Just let them enter our moment knowing they can bring us into that place where we really want to be. They bring us back again and again with our awareness, our gentle maternal observance.The more we allow pain the more we learn we are not the pain but simply observers of it.
If pain (and painful thinking) is met with love rather than resistance we make friends with reality and that brings us joy. (Gelong Thubeton). If we all could simply allow pain and learn from it the world would be a better place.
I have no purpose for today except to look upon a liberated world, set free from all the judgments I have made. (ACIM-W-312: 2:1)
All is well.
References
ACIM
The Power of Conscious Awareness/Gelong Thubeton https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vTviVkFJzM
Wednesday, November 7, 2018
No Comment!
Judgment was made to be a weapon used against the truth.ACIM-W-311:1:1
Mental Commentary and Judgment
One of the many remaining issues I have in this awakening process is in my challenge to say "No comment" to the roving reporters in my mind. I find myself commenting on what I am experiencing to others and to my self. Not only that I am judging things as good or bad still. For example I may be walking in the woods on a beautiful day, determined to be peaceful. In that short little hike of a few minutes duration, I will too often catch myself saying, "Oh this is lovely. Look at that beautiful tree; the sound of chickadees is so lovely. This is good...this is such a good experience and I like it so much. I am so grateful for it. This day is a wonderful thing."
What's wrong with commenting on what's right with the world?
While I am commenting on anything I am doing two things that take me away from the present moment.
1) I am judging things as good or bad and in a sense determining what is acceptable and what isn't
2) I am observing, following, experiencing thought rather than experiencing Life.
The Problem with Judgment
As soon as we judge anything we set up the premise of what is acceptable or what isn't in our minds. If something is pleasant we are open to it, allowing it into our experience. We also set up a precedent for what we will do when the opposite occurs. For example, if during that walk , all of a sudden a storm came pounding down on me, I get sprayed by a skunk or fall and seriously hurt myself...what then? How would the commentary go then?..."Oh My God!!!! This is terrible. I can't believe this happened. This day sucks!"
The day isn't wonderful and the day doesn't suck...it just is.
Judging things as good or bad, right or wrong, worthy or not worthy take us away from truth...from the 'isness' of the moment we are in. Judgments are very selective guards that determine what we allow into our moments and what we actively resist. Good things can come in and bad things will be beaten out of there with a lot of "Oh No!" It is a very conditional way of living and it takes us from our moments rather than towards them.
All things in the moment are worthy of being expressed. Our acceptance of all this as simply being what it is...is the only way to truly experience life and find peace.
Observing Thought is not Experiencing Life
As long as I am commenting and narrating my way through Life...I am stuck in words, thoughts, stories and not truly experiencing Life. Remember that thoughts are the clouds and we are the sky. The clouds can obstruct the presence that is us...the present moment from being fully embraced.
There is a Taoist story that I cannot cite exactly because I only have it in my head at this point.
In a monastery long ago there lived this esteemed Tao master and his many disciples. The master liked to walk every evening as a form of meditation and he would take one of his worthy disciples with him on the walk. He had one rule...that no one, no one talk at all during the walk.
One day he chose one of the newer but promising disciples to come with him and pleased as punch the young disciple happily went along. As they were walking, reaching the top of the hill they came across the most magnificent sunset ever witnessed. It was outstanding. The young disciple gasped at the beauty of it and uttered, "What a beautiful sunset." To which the master responded by turning around and walking back to the monastery leaving the disciple where he was.
Later the disciple was told that he would never walk again with the master because he broke the rule. Feeling sorry for the young man, one of the other monks approached the old master and said, "Surely you can forgive the boy, he only uttered one sentence. It seems like a pretty unfair rule to have in the first place. He was, after all, just commenting on something beautiful."
The master refused to concede and said instead, "As long as he is commenting on something beautiful, he is not experiencing something beautiful. If he comments on the sunset he is watching his words not the sunset." When we comment on the moment, we are not living it. We are watching the clouds instead of experiencing Life as the sky.
So the next time ego holds a microphone to your mouth asking you to comment on something that is happening around you or in you, simply say, "No comment!" and get back into the moment that can not be experienced with words.
All is well.
Mental Commentary and Judgment
One of the many remaining issues I have in this awakening process is in my challenge to say "No comment" to the roving reporters in my mind. I find myself commenting on what I am experiencing to others and to my self. Not only that I am judging things as good or bad still. For example I may be walking in the woods on a beautiful day, determined to be peaceful. In that short little hike of a few minutes duration, I will too often catch myself saying, "Oh this is lovely. Look at that beautiful tree; the sound of chickadees is so lovely. This is good...this is such a good experience and I like it so much. I am so grateful for it. This day is a wonderful thing."
What's wrong with commenting on what's right with the world?
While I am commenting on anything I am doing two things that take me away from the present moment.
1) I am judging things as good or bad and in a sense determining what is acceptable and what isn't
2) I am observing, following, experiencing thought rather than experiencing Life.
The Problem with Judgment
As soon as we judge anything we set up the premise of what is acceptable or what isn't in our minds. If something is pleasant we are open to it, allowing it into our experience. We also set up a precedent for what we will do when the opposite occurs. For example, if during that walk , all of a sudden a storm came pounding down on me, I get sprayed by a skunk or fall and seriously hurt myself...what then? How would the commentary go then?..."Oh My God!!!! This is terrible. I can't believe this happened. This day sucks!"
The day isn't wonderful and the day doesn't suck...it just is.
Judging things as good or bad, right or wrong, worthy or not worthy take us away from truth...from the 'isness' of the moment we are in. Judgments are very selective guards that determine what we allow into our moments and what we actively resist. Good things can come in and bad things will be beaten out of there with a lot of "Oh No!" It is a very conditional way of living and it takes us from our moments rather than towards them.
All things in the moment are worthy of being expressed. Our acceptance of all this as simply being what it is...is the only way to truly experience life and find peace.
Observing Thought is not Experiencing Life
As long as I am commenting and narrating my way through Life...I am stuck in words, thoughts, stories and not truly experiencing Life. Remember that thoughts are the clouds and we are the sky. The clouds can obstruct the presence that is us...the present moment from being fully embraced.
There is a Taoist story that I cannot cite exactly because I only have it in my head at this point.
In a monastery long ago there lived this esteemed Tao master and his many disciples. The master liked to walk every evening as a form of meditation and he would take one of his worthy disciples with him on the walk. He had one rule...that no one, no one talk at all during the walk.
One day he chose one of the newer but promising disciples to come with him and pleased as punch the young disciple happily went along. As they were walking, reaching the top of the hill they came across the most magnificent sunset ever witnessed. It was outstanding. The young disciple gasped at the beauty of it and uttered, "What a beautiful sunset." To which the master responded by turning around and walking back to the monastery leaving the disciple where he was.
Later the disciple was told that he would never walk again with the master because he broke the rule. Feeling sorry for the young man, one of the other monks approached the old master and said, "Surely you can forgive the boy, he only uttered one sentence. It seems like a pretty unfair rule to have in the first place. He was, after all, just commenting on something beautiful."
The master refused to concede and said instead, "As long as he is commenting on something beautiful, he is not experiencing something beautiful. If he comments on the sunset he is watching his words not the sunset." When we comment on the moment, we are not living it. We are watching the clouds instead of experiencing Life as the sky.
So the next time ego holds a microphone to your mouth asking you to comment on something that is happening around you or in you, simply say, "No comment!" and get back into the moment that can not be experienced with words.
All is well.
Tuesday, November 6, 2018
Timelessness is Fearlessness
The joy that comes to me is not of days nor hours....ACIM-W-310:1:3
There is no room in us for fear today, for we have welcomed love into our hearts.ACIM-W-310:2:4
There is no room in us for fear today, for we have welcomed love into our hearts.ACIM-W-310:2:4
Sunday, November 4, 2018
The End of Suffering is Now
I have conceived of time in such a way that I defeat my aim. If I elect to reach past time to timelessness, I must change my perception of what time is for. ACIM-W-308:1:1-2
So , while still on the topic of suffering, and while I am thinking of an old Tina Turner tune where I slip 'time' in where 'love' should be,"What's time got to do with it?" ...I ask the question: What does time have to do in relation to our experience of suffering?
What is time?
In 1905 Einstein defined time as a reading on a perfectly synchronized clock located at the same position as the event,(http://www.fourmilab.ch/etexts/einstein/specrel/www/),
What is time besides the tick -tocking, hand sweeping momentum of an instrument created by the human race to measure some misunderstood phenomenon devised by the same race and labelled as time? Whew! That was a mouthful to read out loud. Probably should have used a different instrument too, for symbolic purposes. Some younger readers, if there are younger readers, may not even know what an analogue clock is lol.
What is time for?
I don't think we truly realize that time is just some theory we created to help us understand the process of Life. It is a mental construct, that's it, an idea, but it in itself is not real. Does this theory help us understand Life or does it take us further away from full understanding of it?
When we think of time we think of all the yesterdays of the past and all the tomorrows of the future, don't we? We rarely think of now. Past and future become our mental focus then ...and therefore it becomes our life. Time keeps us trapped in what happened before and what might happen in the future so that we don't experience the now. Technically, because of our reliance on time, we don't recognize, savour, experience the present moment where life really exists, where life only exists. We live in our tormented and delusional ego minds instead. And we suffer.
The Past
In this moment...instead of simply savouring life, we too often dig up and relive (in our minds only)past memories of all the wrongs that were done to us back then...all the mistakes, all the mistreatment, all our sins and the sins of others. Or we ruminate over the passage of this imaginary time and regret what we have lost, attempting to cling to all the sweet things of the world that came and went through those ticking hand motions of the clock. Sometimes we long to go back to a time we felt joy, safe or loved or use those memoriesas if they were precious stories we can distract from the now with. We do not connect to where we are right now, right here when we do that.
The past is not real. What ever went on back then is gone. Those moments cannot be physically relived. In this moment, the past is just thought. So when we are living in a memory be it one that brings joy or one that brings pain we are not truly embracing Life, are we? We are simply stuck in our minds.
The Future
We may also use time to escape the present moment and its reality that we just find too hard to accept for some reason. We may project notions about living into the future so life becomes an idea rather than a reality. We try to live in that future fantasy. We are even encouraged to do so with some of 'manifesting' instruction out there. We fantasize, imagine, hope, plan for, work for, strive for and anticipate a better life than this moment has to offer. "Things will be better when..." we tell ourselves. "When I get there, When I achieve that...When I find my true love...When he changes...When she changes...When Life becomes easier etc etc".... I will live then. So we hold our breath, close our eyes to the moment we are in and we wait to live.
Or we may dread the future. We may worry over, fret over, become sick over what may or may not happen in a time that isn't real. When tomorrow comes it will be today. When the next moment comes, it will be the moment. There is no future anywhere but in our minds. We spend our present moment in our heads suffering over something that isn't real. That's not living.
The Now
Is the only Life you have.
The instant is the only time there is. ACIM-W-308
Is Time responsible for Suffering
Yes! Ego loves our attachment to time. It needs us to stay in our minds, the only place it can exist. It wants us anywhere other than in the moment, here and now, because if we are present it can not survive. Ego is the antithesis of presence just as the now is the antithesis of past and future.
Most importantly fear is ego's fuel and fear depends on past and future to expand and grow. As long as we are hooked on time ego can be fueled by fear. It is fear that makes us retreat away from here and now, to hide, run, numb, distract and defend and attack. It is these things that cause our greatest suffering. In attempt to use these external things to escape suffering , we create even greater suffering for ourselves and the world.
Can we be saved from time and from suffering?
The only interval in which I can be saved from time is now. ACIM-W-308:1:4
The now will save us. The now equates to timelessness. It is in timelessness we will be free of fear
How?
We can come back to the here and now. We will never enter it if we are stuck in mind time.We can come down from our heads and into our bodies and our hearts. We can enter the present moment from there. We find the timelessness that will set us free.
What is the opposite of this fear that causes so much of our suffering? Love.
And love is ever-present, here and now. -ACIM-W-308:1:8
So , while still on the topic of suffering, and while I am thinking of an old Tina Turner tune where I slip 'time' in where 'love' should be,"What's time got to do with it?" ...I ask the question: What does time have to do in relation to our experience of suffering?
What is time?
In 1905 Einstein defined time as a reading on a perfectly synchronized clock located at the same position as the event,(http://www.fourmilab.ch/etexts/einstein/specrel/www/),
What is time besides the tick -tocking, hand sweeping momentum of an instrument created by the human race to measure some misunderstood phenomenon devised by the same race and labelled as time? Whew! That was a mouthful to read out loud. Probably should have used a different instrument too, for symbolic purposes. Some younger readers, if there are younger readers, may not even know what an analogue clock is lol.
What is time for?
I don't think we truly realize that time is just some theory we created to help us understand the process of Life. It is a mental construct, that's it, an idea, but it in itself is not real. Does this theory help us understand Life or does it take us further away from full understanding of it?
When we think of time we think of all the yesterdays of the past and all the tomorrows of the future, don't we? We rarely think of now. Past and future become our mental focus then ...and therefore it becomes our life. Time keeps us trapped in what happened before and what might happen in the future so that we don't experience the now. Technically, because of our reliance on time, we don't recognize, savour, experience the present moment where life really exists, where life only exists. We live in our tormented and delusional ego minds instead. And we suffer.
The Past
In this moment...instead of simply savouring life, we too often dig up and relive (in our minds only)past memories of all the wrongs that were done to us back then...all the mistakes, all the mistreatment, all our sins and the sins of others. Or we ruminate over the passage of this imaginary time and regret what we have lost, attempting to cling to all the sweet things of the world that came and went through those ticking hand motions of the clock. Sometimes we long to go back to a time we felt joy, safe or loved or use those memoriesas if they were precious stories we can distract from the now with. We do not connect to where we are right now, right here when we do that.
The past is not real. What ever went on back then is gone. Those moments cannot be physically relived. In this moment, the past is just thought. So when we are living in a memory be it one that brings joy or one that brings pain we are not truly embracing Life, are we? We are simply stuck in our minds.
The Future
We may also use time to escape the present moment and its reality that we just find too hard to accept for some reason. We may project notions about living into the future so life becomes an idea rather than a reality. We try to live in that future fantasy. We are even encouraged to do so with some of 'manifesting' instruction out there. We fantasize, imagine, hope, plan for, work for, strive for and anticipate a better life than this moment has to offer. "Things will be better when..." we tell ourselves. "When I get there, When I achieve that...When I find my true love...When he changes...When she changes...When Life becomes easier etc etc".... I will live then. So we hold our breath, close our eyes to the moment we are in and we wait to live.
Or we may dread the future. We may worry over, fret over, become sick over what may or may not happen in a time that isn't real. When tomorrow comes it will be today. When the next moment comes, it will be the moment. There is no future anywhere but in our minds. We spend our present moment in our heads suffering over something that isn't real. That's not living.
The Now
Is the only Life you have.
The instant is the only time there is. ACIM-W-308
Is Time responsible for Suffering
Yes! Ego loves our attachment to time. It needs us to stay in our minds, the only place it can exist. It wants us anywhere other than in the moment, here and now, because if we are present it can not survive. Ego is the antithesis of presence just as the now is the antithesis of past and future.
Most importantly fear is ego's fuel and fear depends on past and future to expand and grow. As long as we are hooked on time ego can be fueled by fear. It is fear that makes us retreat away from here and now, to hide, run, numb, distract and defend and attack. It is these things that cause our greatest suffering. In attempt to use these external things to escape suffering , we create even greater suffering for ourselves and the world.
Can we be saved from time and from suffering?
The only interval in which I can be saved from time is now. ACIM-W-308:1:4
The now will save us. The now equates to timelessness. It is in timelessness we will be free of fear
How?
We can come back to the here and now. We will never enter it if we are stuck in mind time.We can come down from our heads and into our bodies and our hearts. We can enter the present moment from there. We find the timelessness that will set us free.
What is the opposite of this fear that causes so much of our suffering? Love.
And love is ever-present, here and now. -ACIM-W-308:1:8
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