- Pema Chodron
Take A Good Look
We need to take a good look and that is what that little exercise I proposed yesterday was meant to help us to do. We created a map that reflects what is going on in our heads and then we tried to sort it out to some extent so we could see why we felt like shit.
What about that to do-list we created?
Part of the exercise had us write somewhat of a to-do list. Is that a good idea? Yes and no.
Write it by all means but do so cautiously and only for the purpose of appeasing the ego. It is only the ego that needs to do...not you. The ego needs to fix. The ego needs to control the mind. The ego needs lists and steps to get you hung up on. Know that. And that is okay.
Sometimes we just need to quiet the ego enough so we can see beyond it. The goal is to see beyond the ego and get beyond the wall. If the ego is thrashing around like crazy up there, creating mental maps that are as nasty as the one I am looking at now...negotiate with it, quiet it down with some pacifying to do list and then step back.
Sure if you feel compelled to do what the list tells you to do, do it but do not get hung up on doing it. The list of steps for action is not what this getting through the wall is about. It is just a tiny tidying up and clearing away step. Don't make that list another category in your messy mental map.
You see, ego wants you to get caught up on this list so it can numb you from the pain. Sure this is a better choice of numbing than picking up a bottle or a pill...so go for it... but focusing on doing and fixing and controlling is not the healing part of this exercise.
The healing part comes in the feeling part. Each of the categories represents something you are resisting feeling ... some experience you are not wanting in your life.
By creating lists we organize our mental noise somewhat so we can see clearly what it is we are resisting. We see that we were not really dealing with experiences as they arose in our life thus creating one messy map to follow. We create lists so we can see what those things are that we suppressed, repressed, denied, minimized, intellectualized etc...but more than likely did not experience.
We created two lists just to show what we have no choice but to surrender to and those we can surrender to. We burnt the ones we had no control over and surrendered to them. What do we do with the ones we do have control over?
Stop Resisting and Avoiding
Hmmm! we can get lost in following every step to a tee as ego wants us to do and/or we can allow each one of those things previously resisted into our lives. We automatically have an urge to run away from them, don't we? But now we got a darn wall in front of us and we can run no more.
You see each brick of the wall that stands in front of us, that keeps us stuck and not moving forward was not put there by the thing on the list... but by resistance we have to experiencing that experience.
Welcome and Allow
For true healing to take place we need to open up, welcome and allow for the full experience of Life. What we have going on in our messy mental maps is what we likely refer to as 'problems', the 'unwanted,' 'suffering'. We are putting our hands up to each of them and it us creating the wall.
Put down your arms, your shields and just allow each of these to be. Allow them to enter your "being" and just experience them. Life isn't just about the easy and the wonderful. It is full of contrasts and we need to stop resisting the things in our life that we "don't want". Let it all in...the good, the bad and the ugly. If we resist these things, we resist the moment they are in, and if we resist the moment, we resist Life.
Compassionate Abiding
If we really want to get through walls...we do so by becoming one with the wall. We go through it! The Buddhists call this "compassionate abiding". Penna Chodron, an ordained Tibetan Nun, in her wonderful book, "When Things Fall apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times," advises that in order to heal, to get through the walls we have created, we need to compassionately abide.
She suggest an exercise to help us do that in a Super Soul Sunday episode with Oprah Winfrey. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mm_0bw340Tk) Her instruction was as follows:
- Get yourself as quiet and as still as possible
- Close your eyes
- Breathe in "the unwanted" "the suffering" the "Dukkha" ...[whatever experience you have written down on your list that you have been resisting until now and all the feelings attached to it.]
- Breathe out any expectations and resistance you may have about it
- As you breathe it in, imagine it going to your heart.
- envision your heart swelling as necessary to hold the emotional experience
- allow it to expand as necessary
- then release a lot of space, a lot of emptiness as you breathe out
- compassion for self and compassion for all follows
So how do we tear these walls of fear down so we can reach the truth? We don't...we simply go through them and we can do that with love.
I love this from ACIM. It reminds me of what will happen when we allow ourselves to allow Life to be what it is. All fear is past, because its source is gone, and all thoughts gone with it. Love remains the only present state...." ACIM-W-293:1:1-2
When we see clearly we can walk through walls that fear made and into a Life of Love, a Life of Truth. . Hmmm! Something to think about.
All is well in my world.
Have a look:
ACIM
Chodron, Penna (2000 ) When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times.Shambala
https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/2464740-when-things-fall-apart-heart-advice-for-difficult-times
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mm_0bw340Tk
No comments:
Post a Comment