-Ken Kesey http://www.artview42.com/ken-kesey-creativity/
I love this quote. It applies to three categories on my mental map list: my health seeking, my awakening and my writing. The point is: There comes a point when we realize it is time to stop looking for a clear cut answer and just let the mystery of Life take over. I will live more peacefully, more healthfully and write more deeply if I can learn to do that.
There is a story found in that wonderful little book I mentioned before, Experiencing Spirituality: Finding Meaning Through Storytelling, that depicts the value of letting go beautifully. It goes a little like this (paraphrased of course):
The Eagle Feather
There was once a postman who delivered mail on a reservation in Dakota. One day he overheard some elders talking about receiving objects that bring great power. It was said that the greatest such object one could receive from the Creator was an eagle feather. Eagle feathers could bring great power, wisdom and prestige to the person who finds one.
The postman didn't know much about this stuff but thought to himself, as he delivered his mail from house to house, how wonderful it would be if he could receive such a gift from above. He was feeling a little down on his luck and himself, and believed a little power, wisdom and prestige would lift him out of his rut.
So he set his intentions on receiving an eagle feather. He had heard enough from the elders' conversation to know he couldn't buy one and he couldn't ask anyone to give him one. It had to come to him spontaneously by the will of the Creator.
So every morning he woke up with this intention, "Today I will find my feather." And everyday he set out on his route with his eyes wide open and his mind in gear. He looked up and he looked down. He looked for feathers on the road and in people's yards. He thought about feathers almost every minute of every hour of every waking day and he dreamt about them at night. The postman became obsessed with eagle feathers.
He was so focused, so determined and looked so hard that all other things became blurred by his intention. He neglected his other hobbies; he neglected his old friends; and he neglected his loving family. So focused was he that he lost touch with where and what he was doing in almost every given moment and only thought of how powerful, how wise and how well adored he would become once he found that feather.
But the time passed. And every night as he crawled into bed beside his now unhappy and distant wife, he was featherless. His wife became colder and colder as the days passed. His children grew up and away from him. His friends forgot his name. But that didn't seem to matter. He just became more and more determined to find his feather. "Just wait until I have my feather ...they will see how it is all worth it when I am powerful, wise and lovable. It will all be good then." He would tell himself those words and go to bed determined that he would find the feather the next day.
It never seemed to come. He grew older and the people he loved drifted away with his youth. Still, there was no feather to show for it. After a long, long time of searching he finally had to admit to himself that no matter how hard he tried and how much he strived he was no closer to finding the eagle feather than he was on the day he started.
One hot afternoon a few months before his retirement date, exhausted, defeated and discouraged, the postman suddenly stopped in his tracks. He could not take another step.
Finding some shade under a huge tree he sat on a boulder by the side of the road and wept. "Oh Creator if you are there...I have been foolish, lost in search for something I thought would bring me things I never really needed. My mind was absorbed by something that did not bring me or others peace and my Life whittled away without my being aware of it. I have wasted my life looking for a stupid feather and have lost so many other "real" things because of it."
The wind blew a lovely breeze through the branches above his head and the man continued. "I am giving up the search. I am going to stop looking for the feather and start living the bit of Life I have left. I am not sure if I can make it up to the people I have hurt but I will try. Oh Creator, if you are indeed real, forgive me for squandering this precious life you have given me. I now let go and let the mystery of You guide my remaining days."
The wind blew again. This time the breeze flowed right through the postman where he sat, filling him with the greatest peace he had ever known. He felt the tension, melting away and leaving his body making him feel younger than he had in years. His mind became empty and clear of any thoughts of feathers or anything else for that matter. He was at peace.
He sat where he was for a long, long time just being still and quiet in that moment with the peaceful breeze his only companion. He felt very, very grateful. He felt very much alive. He felt more powerful, wise and loved than he had ever felt before.
A shadow passed over head. Unalarmed he looked up to see a magnificent bird flying high above the branches of the tree, not making a sound, as if gliding on the wind. He watched in awe as it passed by.
Seeing that as an omen, the now content postman stood up. Just as he was picking up his bag a beautiful tail feather floated down before his eyes, an eagle feather. Wisdom, power and Love (the "answer") only come, he suddenly realized, when we stop looking for them and start living the Life intended for us in this very moment we are in.
The end!
References
Calloway, M. ( Feb, 2018) ArtView 42 http://www.artview42.com/ken-kesey-creativity/
Kurtz,E. & Ketchman, K. (2014) Chapter: "Wisdom" in Experiencing Spirituality: Finding Meaning Through Storytelling. New York: Penguin
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