Curiosity

The important thing is not to stop questioning.  Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
-Albert Einstein  https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/albert_Einstein

Am I mad for questioning so much?  Am I a sinner for questioning those religious explanations about Life that I was brought up and 'told' to believe? Am I crazy for stepping into the world of the 'unknown' when the world of 'known' offers a safe protection from all that may or may not be out there?

I used to think I knew so much.  I used to be satisfied and content to some degree with what I thought I knew.  I would sit at the dinner table of Life stuffed and pleased with myself  for eating so much. Now that I realize I really don't know anything...I am not so content.  I feel kind of sick on all I have eaten that does not make sense to me anymore.  It is a weird experience.  The more my body seems to limit me...the more my questioning mind takes over. 

But the truth is...I don't know...and I would like to know.  I am ready to put aside my pretentions and my false knowing for curiosity.  I want to know.  Hmmm!

What is Life all about anyway?  Who are we...really... and why are we here?  Where and what is here? Are we just streams of consciousness being manifested into physical form?  What is physical form/matter? What is consciousness? What is real?

Science offers some pointers.  Physics offer some pointers. Philosophy offers some pointers.  Theology offers some pointers.  Psychology offers some pointers. Metaphysics offers some pointers. Not one of these fields of thought, by themselves, however offers all the answers.  They just point in the direction of where the answer might be.

The answer will not come in an 'intellectual insight'.  It will not be something, if it comes, that I can jot down on a piece of paper to explain to someone else. It will only be experienced...and I really don't even know what that means. lol

I can gain some understanding of the pointers and I can learn and teach them but that in itself is so limited.   The answers are beyond words, intellectual understanding...us.

Hmmm!  Somehow I know that.

The human mind, no matter how highly trained, cannot grasp the universe. We are in the position of little children entering a huge library, whose walls are covered to the ceiling in books of many different languages.  The child knows that someone must have written those books.  It does not know who or how.  It doesn't understand the languages in which they are written. The child notes a definite plan in the arrangement of the books, a mysterious order, which it does not understand but only dimly suspects. That it seems to me is the attitude of the human mind, even the greatest and most cultured, toward God.  We see a universe marvellously arranged, obeying certain laws, but we understand the laws only dimly. Our limited minds can not grasp the mysterious force that sways the  constellations.
- Einstein
https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/62g1qm/til_albert_einstein_believed_in_spinozas_god_who/

Despite my confusion in my very limited mind, all is well in my world.