Mental Ruts

The rut of least resistance and least trouble is a mental rut already made. It requires troublesome work to undertake the alteration of old beliefs.
-John Dewey https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/rut

 I am on a bit of a personal mission, a mission many of you are probably on as well.  I am on a mission to get myself out of a rut I find myself in.  I have been writing about ruts, being stuck and getting beyond negative thinking for a reason.  I am writing about this because it is my experience right now. I feel stuck in a rut!

Stuck in the mud.

So what is a rut?  Well I use the analogy of being stuck in mud on your way somewhere.  You somehow veered off the easy driving highway on your way to your destination and onto some muddy back road.  There you  landed in a deep hole...rut....and your tires are stuck.  No matter how much you spin those darn tires you cannot seem to go forward.  Frustrating eh?  Depressing eh? 

You look about you and say, "What the front door?  Why does this always happen to me?"  After a bit of cursing, banging the steering wheel and kicking the vehicle (yourself)...you settle into the rut and stay where you are.  You decide to make the best of it.  Well at least it is comfortable, right?  Safe?  Whatever was up ahead will remain up ahead and not something you have to deal with, right?   Maybe being in such a rut is not such  a bad thing. If one is stuck they never have to deal with what is up ahead.

Someone comes along and says , "You are pretty stuck, do you need help?"

To which you answer, as you spin your tires for demonstration purposes, "There is nothing that can be done...see...I am stuck.  I have already tried spinning and spinning to get my tires out.  I will just have to wait until something miraculous happens with the mud...that it will disappear or something and the hole will fill in."

Insanity is doing the  same thing over and over again and expecting different results
-Albert Einstein

"Well I think if you do it differently...maybe try this or that...while I pull from here!" the stranger might suggest.

To which you will again respond, "Does it look that easy to you?  Do you not  see how deeply I am stuck...how big this hole is that is swallowing me up? I don't think anyone has ever been stuck as badly as I am!"

The determined stranger , if they don't walk away exasperated might respond, "Well...you are definitely stuck and it looks pretty bad but I think if we try we might just be able to get you out."

"Are you telling me that I got myself here and that I am not trying hard enough to get out of it.  Are you saying my being stuck is my fault???" you  might then answer.

Eventually the person wanting to help may walk away exasperated and you will remain stuck where you are...alone!

The Rut in real Life

Isn't this what happens when we get stuck, when we lose motivation to do or move forward?  Do we get lost in our negative thinking...seeing only the problem? Do we not see our circumstances as something beyond us...that we are victims to forces we have no control over?  That being stuck is not something we can easily get out of , if at all?  Do we not resist offers for help and suggestions to do differently because we feel  a certain familiarity and comfort where we are in our habitual thinking pattern? Do we push others away consciously or subconsciously?  Would part of us  rather just settle into the mental rut and make the best of it?  Is it possible we are getting something from being stuck?

Ruts can become Comfort Zones

 I am finding comfort here.  I am finding a sense of safety and security in an odd, unfulfilling way. Being a victim to life is a lot easier than being accountable and responsible.  If someone suggests that I might be responding to life circumstance in a depressed way , the claws come out and I hiss them away.  "I am not depressed", I will retort.  "Life is just hard, unfair.  People have made unfair decisions and judgments that left me here " I am simply making the best of it and finding a bit of comfort.

A ship in the harbor is safe but that is not what ships were built for.
-John A. Shedd

Hmmm!  I am just stuck.  I am feeling depressed and the only thing that will help me is if I admit that and am willing to move on!  The safety and familiarity this place offers me...is based on ego lies.  I may be  'comfortable' ...but I am a prisoner in my own mind because I choose to be. 

The only person who can set me free is me. It isn't going to be easy...I have spun quite a hole for myself ...but I can get out of this and be better for it! I just have to accept where I am, be willing to get past it and then I have to accept the help of all those kind others who have suggestions for me to do things differently...very differently than how I have been doing them.

I will write more on this later as it is really on my mind. :) .