A lot of people resist transition and therefore never allow themselves to enjoy who they are. Embrace the change, no matter what it is; once you do, you can learn about the new world you're in and take advantage of it.

Nikki Giovanni

(Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/n/nikkigiova452245.html?src=t_transition)


Longing for menopause.  Really?

I was ready to embrace the major change women my age go through.  After months of  endometriosis pain that returned with a vengeance...I was ready to move on into the "wise" years of a woman's life.    I thought I was there...for two months I thought I was there.  I prayed in gratitude.  I rejoiced.  I reread "Women's Bodies; Women's Wisdom by Christine Northrup.  I told people.  I was ready. 

Then I found myself bent over in pain yesterday and I feel it resurfacing now.  It's Back!!!!I cried more for the fact that it isn't time then for the pain.  I feel so ready to move on into the next chapter of my life but my body still has some things it needs to say.  Am I listening? What am I clinging to? 

Resistance

Sometimes it isn't change we resist but the need to stay put and wait for all circumstances to be ready for the change.  We expect and get impatient when our expectations do not present themselves to us in the whens and hows of our imaginings. We do not listen to the teacher when we are peering up at the clock waiting for the bell to ring. We can miss so much.

Still too much to learn

In this transitioning period of my own life I am looking up waiting...knowing that the bell is so close to going off...but while I am waiting and expecting...some valuable lessons are being taught.  That I am not hearing.  Maybe this pain is a persistent messenger that has something to say about parts of my life left unexamined. Maybe my returning to a monthly cycle is teaching me that there are still too many things I haven't mastered making me not wise enough to graduate. Or maybe there is something going in my body that I need to look at.  Regardless...I am not ready to make the change.  Not yet...not yet...but soon.

I must look away from the clock on the wall.  I must stop tapping my fingers in anticipation and sit up straight in my chair.  I must listen to the rest of the lecture.  It is all good!

All is well in my world.