The flower loves it when you give it attention...Through you,the flower recognizes itself.
Eckhart Tolle
When a human becomes conscious of nature, nature becomes more conscious of itself.
Eckhart Tolle
Eckhart Tolle (February, 2019) How Do I Keep From Being Triggered. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAaBXlC8-bU
To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this story:
"Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: God, I thank you that I am not like other people-robbers, evil doers and adulterers -or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.
But the tax collector stood at a distance. He wouldn't even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said: 'God have mercy on me, a sinner. '
I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and all those who humble themselves will be exalted. "
Luke 18:9-14 NIV https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2018%3A9-14&version=NIV
Exalted or Humbled?
Ooops! Did I ever sound self -righteous in the previous entry. Wow! I was surprised to see ego puffing up in myself when I mentioned how I am "giving" in my percieved lack of "having". I did not intend for ego to slip in the way it did yesterday when I was simply wanting to express guilt, maybe, that I didn't pay for a service I have gained so much from. I tried to rationalize, compensate and counter that guilt with some story of how I give.
That is not true giving! When we attach pride and even the subtlest bit of "aren't I great" or "look at how much better I am than another" to giving, it diminishes giving and inflates the ego. (Never a good combination).
Oh well..I am learning. I am aware of what I am doing and I leave yesterday's post up as it is, so I am reminded that ego is still around. Do not have to run from it, make it the big scary enemy, or try deperately to push it away or beat it uncoscious. Just need to be aware it is still around and recognize it when it pops up. A revealed ego can do little damage to the lives we know, while a hidden and denied one can do a lot!
I actually love it when I catch ego in action. It is like a game to me, a learning game. I catch myself "reacting" in a certain way, identify ego in the thought stream, feeling or action and I point it out. "Oh...there goes ego again. Up to his silly tricks." (I sometimes refer to ego in masculine gender lol). Just by the process of and ability to watch, I detach from ego and the thought, feeling, behvaours that feed it. I see it, not as me, but something I am observing. It loses its punch when I can do that. I am no longer "lost" in it.
It is great to see Self as the observer rather than to be trapped as the tragic victim, or the gracious heroine in these stories we create in our minds. We can go beyond the need to build our little me identies with a bunch of thoughts and ideas. We can simply fall back into who we really are and be there and be that.
Cool eh?
All is well!
You begin to fly when you let go of self-limiting beliefs and allow your mind and aspirtains to arise to greater [deeper] heights.
Tara Brach and other Great Teachers
Serendipity again! I was blessed with the showing up of another video from Tara Brach this morning to support what I was writing about yesterday. What a wonderful, wise teacher she is. Please check out the video below and support her site if you can...just so that the site stays on line helping others especially at this time. Don't get the wrong idea though, please. I am not a promoter or a sponsor of anything to do with people making money for ego reasons! I do believe her reasons for doing what she is doing go beyond ego. As do mine. (As you can tell by the fact that I do not advertise here or want or seek anyting akin to payment.)
Supporting and Allowing The River to Flow
So when I make that suggestion to support, I am simply trying to support sites that I access alot for my own learning and sharing here. Plum Village is a big one I would like to support. As part of Buddhist tradition an alms bowl, what the monks and nuns depend on to live, is held out ever so graciously and undemandingly. Whether we support their livlihood or not, they continue to offer wondeful teachings on line. How long will they be able to give without receiving?
Right now I am benefiting from the learning these sites offer, more than I am giving and supporting. I have issues with international payments, being that I don't have a credit card and have no pay pal account...not to mention that I have little money, lol. I will find away, because supporting "healing", mine and the worlds, is something I feel called to do.
When I get the little I get in terms of capitol, I try to give. What I have doesn't stay with me for long. That is the way it is supposed to work, I think. Money is like water flowing to us, through us and onto someone else. We just kind of turn in the direction we want it to flow. It will always make its way back to us again and again and again. Sometimes it will be in abundant rivers; sometimes in tiny trickles but what we give always comes back. As long as we don't cling to it, damn it up so we have more...it will keep going around. That is the way I see it anyway.
Anyway...the last thing I wanted to do was talk about my trickling finacial situation or capitolism in any way, shape or form and here I come off like a hypocritical promoter or an advertiser! Forgive me.
Back to the Video
The reason why her video was serendipitous for me was in how it related to my fear beliefs that were generating this reaction. so I will use the teachings she shared in relation to my own expereince. Hopefully you can relate it to your own as well.
My Limiting Belief
In my having to deal with this helath issue again, I mentioned yesterday how I was grouping a whole system together, closing down and not trusting. Now there is no doubt that I had some nasty experiences with the egos of others that got in the way of their professional role and my health seekinge experiences did not always go smoothly..for sure. But the cause of the suffering I have and do endure has more to do with this deep limiting belief I have entangled around my psyche's core...than it does with whatever happens on the outside of me. In fact, I am seeing how this belief is actually leading to or aggravating external situations in this direction.
I have a very sick belief that has been with me most of my life that I do no not deserve appropriate attention, help and support when it comes to wellness. That there is something wrong with me, and I should be ashamed, when I ask for it from the very busy and somehow "superior" beings who can give it to me.
"Real but not Truth"
As much as that makes me kind of gag as I write it, it is the truth...well the "The real but not truth!" that I subscribe to. I know where it comes from. Sadly, it is almost as much a part of me as my beleif in God. It is not just a part of my mind but it is in every cell of my body. So I am vibrating with fear and shame whenever I walk through the health care system's door. It is from there that I operate. Obvioulsy that is going to effect the way I present as a patient, what I recieve and how I deal with it.
Ego...is on a consatnt search for evidence to support this idea and it finds it...there is enough real evidence out there. If it can't find it, it creates it or exaggerates the minor things. It collects, accumulates and adds up all the findings to prove this to me...so I stay fearfully and shamefully chained to this awful belief. It appears so real but it isn't true.
It isn't true becasue it is just a thought in my head, a concept and idea. It is not what is. It is not the air entering my lungs, or the blood gushing through my heart. It isn't the feeling of being alive, here and now . It isn't who I am! It isn't my essence...it isn't Love. It is just a thought. Sticky, tenacious and powerful...but just a thought.
Tara Brach offers some powerful tips to unhooking ourselves from this belief. She calls this R.A.I.N.
You cannot make God or consciousness, which is the enemation of God, into an object of perception or an object of knowledge...You are what you are looking for.
Eckhart Tolle
Lighting up the world
You are the light of the world. Matthew 5:14
So we are all here to be the light of the world. What is the light? Consciousness. So we are to shine the light of consciousness on the world so that we can find what we are looking for...consciousness....which is actually what we already are.
Confusing huh?
You are the eternal light needed to discover the light that is you. You are a small enemation of God, a ray off the Brilliant Sun, the eternal subject, the eternal observer. You can not be observed, perceived or known.
You canot "know" this with the mind. You can not conceptualize it or understand it. You can only be it.
Hmmm!
All is well!
Eckhart Tolle Teaching on 'Being the Light'/Awaken your inner light https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ypv5nEBBRYg
The roots of all goodness lie in the soil of appreciation for goodness.
Dalai Lama https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/appreciation-quotes
Sometimes I read my entries and see how bruised up I am because of past health seekinge experiences and how in my hurt, I want to blame something or someone. I clump every part of a system together into a big ball of "enemy". I look at the "whole" system as faulted, defective, and uncaring. It isn't fair and it isn't true.
Though there definitely have been some whose ego needs and assumption got in the way, and there were those who were too busy and too distracted from things in their own life to see clearly beyond these passed on assumptions, there were others who did their best to help and support me. I have recived a lot of help and kindness from my GP and I have recieved help and good intention from some ER and clinic staff. There were also some specialists who made a real effort to help despite how busy and overwhemned they were in their practices. There are many who are truly in this for the well being of others. To all of them, I say "Thank you"!
When I am on a mental rampage , seeking to justify my need to collect grievances, I neglect to think about or open up to the positive part of this experience, to remember and relay apreciation for the help I did and do recieve. I neglect to see the "goodness" in others. Such "suffering"...the mind's reaction to painful experience...is an "unskillful" and unhelpful way to approach life. It leads to a "closing down" for me or the others involved. It causes more unnecessaty pain.
Even in those individuals I clearly see active egos in that can blind them to the needs of others, there is goodness. There is goodness in all at deepest level. I need to remind myself to look beyond ego, mind, personality, role, behaviours and their consequences. There can't be anything but good. My "closing up" leaves the world "unconscious" rather than moving forward.
So I get angry. I get fearful. I collect grievances. I make judgements and close down...probably in this situation, more than any other in my life. That may be why Life keeps handing me situations that bring this issue up. It is time for me to learn. I do not have to fight to be heard in this system. I have to simply "not close". Contemplating the appreciation I feel for those that try will help to keep me open.
This is what it is and it is all good.
Hmmm! All is well.
The worse enemy lays between the ears.
Eckhart Tolle
Fear
I am sitting here...avoiding something I am afraid to do. Sigh! I have to make a simple phonecall ...just a simple inquiry about a test I was supposed to have had done, as I was told, in August. I just have to pick up the phone, ask a question, accept an answer, hang up and then do whatever I am called to do next. Simple, right? Yet I am avoiding it.
The Irrational Nature of Fear
I know my avoidance is irrational and silly.
How long? How long would that simple action take from my life span? Thirty seconds? Maybe a minute or two?
How dangerous is it? Is it life threatening? No...not in the moment, at least. No fangs are going to come through the phone to tear me to shreds. I might have a heart attack if I discover that the test has been booked next week, but I won't die. This one simple action is not going to kill me.
Yet I am in full stress response. It is as if I am standing in the middle of a pride of hungry lions in the middle of the Serengeti plain. As I stand there, all the animals around me seem oblivious to my plight (or are simply thankful that I am on the menu for today,instead of them). They are just munching away on their grass while I, trembling like I am having a grand mal seizure, can barely look at the phone (the lions), let alone pick it up. What is up with that?
The Wait is Over
It is October first, the day I gave myself to take up the external fight for my well being again. Worse, I have to start thinking about it again...and that is the real problem.
I had tried my best, and quite successfully, to put this out of my mind when I was told I would have to wait for six months for the next step. Something told me that it would do no good to push, to keep reminding myself and others that "there is something there", that "I wake up every night with this feeling (what I guess could be called pain).", that "It keeps changing." that "I am high risk.", that "I was suppose to have these tests done anyway", that "there were significant changes on the tests.", "If it is what my sister had, it is going to be too late...it has been almost a year since I first noticed the changes.", that "It could be related to the pelvic pain I have been getting?" and that "I don't think it is just ductal ectasia anymore. I am scared."
Succumbing to Resistance
No...that would not be heard. And for a host of other reasons, I do not feel equipped to fight against resistance.
The resistance I felt from one individual was almost palpable. I heard the explanations, more than once, about how expensive these tests were and how it wasn't reasonable to assume that they get performed on every woman with a "bit of dense tissue". Title and power and resources seemed to need protect ion, more so that my menatl or physical wellness.
COVID came..and that meant further delays beyond everyone's control.
And I know there are many others who are waiting too; who are worried and afraid, maybe many with more reason to be concerned than I have.
So, I just knew in March, when the six month wait was offered like it was a gift to me I would have no choice but to wait, even if the waiting could prove detrimental to my wellness. So I sucked it up. I did whatever I could not to think about it for six months, then seven. I told myself I would not palpate (becauseI knew I would find something else and it still wouldn't change the waiting situation); I would not call, I would not mention it to another living soul ( well I guess it came out here) until the wait was over. The wait is long past over and I still haven't heard.
I had a feeling I wasn't going to hear back in six months. Even when it turned into seven months, I wasn't surprised but I did hope that something would happen so I would not have to pick up the gauntlet again and fight against the obstacles that kept coming up. I have had to do that so much in the past for other things. I am just tired, you know? It takes so much out of me and it scares the %^&* out of me.
Fear and Mind: The Real Enemy
The thing is, I just don't have to push against a reluctant system, the COVID pandemic, uncontrollable circumstances... I have to push against the memory of past experiences, the shaming, the denial of my reality, what it cost me in terms of wellness, finances, livelihood, career, and title that I so want to forget about.. Even when I know these things were never really important, never really me and that they led me to what was important, I still feel the fear when I have to confront another health issue again. These memories overwhelmn me.
When I remove "story" from this expereince and look at this need to make this phone call without drama or thought, as I did in my meditation, I still notice a big knot of fear between me and peace. I still have an intense , almost compulsive desire to avoid. I guess there is some other deep sinister memory, or nasty forboding thought lurking in the background of my psyche leading to this irrational and silly response .
Victim of Unconscious Mind
So what came to me today in the form of a video? Eckhart Tolle's, The Fisrts step in Conscious Manifetsation. In this video he talked about the fear that arises from being a victim of an unconscious mind, when we believe eveything our minds are telling us. My fear is not about having to make a phone call...it is about what my mind is doing with the 'what if" of the phonecall. Who will I piss off by being pushy? Will that lead to more resistance? Shaming..if it turns out it truly is nothing toworry about? What if it leads me to discover that it is something? Am I ready for that? All just thought! Thought that pulls me in and shackles me to fear.
How do I stop this?
Presence Provides the Safety
The first thing I need to do is breathe, be here and now, tap into my deeper essence, presence. Then I can look at my conscious thoughts and those unconscious ones lurking in the background (when and if they arise in conscious mind), as just that ...thought. Not me....not Life in this moment...thought!
When I can do that I am Home, I am aware and I am safe. Whatever happens from this place of awareness, won't be so bad.
All is well.
Eckhart Tolle ( 2020) The First Step of Conscious Manifestation. https://consciousmanifestation.eckharttolle.com/the_first_step_of_conscious_manifestation39077931
Welcome whatever Life brings to you in each moment, even if if is difficult. Do not complain because if you do you are in an antagonistic relationship with Life and if you are in an antagonistic relationship with Life, Life will reflect that back to you.
Eckhart Tolle (somewhat paraphrased)
Just had a bit of inspiration come to me, a remotely possible way out of this finacial hole I "percieve" myself to be in and I intend on following through. Regardless of how it turns out I am so very grateful for the inspiration , for the bit of light that flicked on in me (Yeah...I can almost see one of those cartoon balloons with a light bulb being turned on over my head).
Another Click of A Light bulb!
I had another click too. You know how , when I was reading Andersen's Three Magic Words, I kept questioning if thought actually created our external reality? I loved the messages he shared, especially in the meditations. They resonated with something deep inside me. And I do agree that The first cause is always mental, especially when it comes to suffering yet, this idea that we directly "manifested"our reality with our thoughts didn't 'click'.. I think The Secret kind of ruined it for me ( no offense to The Secret..I loved it when it first came out...I was there then...but I think I evolved a little bit beyond its take on the Law of Attraction, especially on the egoic way we are encouraged to use it and "what" we could use it for.[ I know that sounds so condescending and self righteous of me...I will try to explain it better at another time. ])
Does thought actually create our external reality?
So I had a hard time agreeing with Andersen's proposal that we directly think our worlds into existence. Even though the Yoga Sutras allude to this, and quantumn mechanics, other scriptures and the Bible even in some passages do . There was just something missing, a vital and deeper wisdom. It, therefore, seemed a bit "Woo-woo" .
When Eckhart Tolle never seemed to come out and say he agreed with this ability to manifest, though he seemed almost pushed to do so, I kind of walked away from the thoughts shared in Three Magic Words with the question, Does thought actually create our external reality?, unanswered.
Eckhart Tolle Says It Does
Then today in. Awaken Your Inner Light, Tolle more or less came out to say that our state of mind will directly affect our external reality. He almost echoed Andersen with this statement: The world is the realm of effect; consciousness is the realm of consequence. Yet, he did so in a way that took into account the higher wisdom and the true motivation for viewing and thinking "rightly" as the Buddhist teaching shares and what Jack Kornfield calls "viewing wisely". He was saying that we can change our external reality by being present but presence is what we truly want, not a change in external reality.
The True Goal for Changing Our Thinking Pattern
We do not try, then, to get beyond problematic thinking so that we can get a million dollar mansion, a fancy sports car or a trophy wife...but so that we can evolve the way we are meant to, both on a personal and collective level. We want to change our relationships with what our minds are doing so we become more conscious, aware and present in the level beyond the mind. When we bring conscious presence to external situations, whether they be joyful or difficult, withourt ego reactivity, we directly affect the outcome in the physical reality for ourselves, and the world. The real goal, however, is not to change what is coming and going in the external world but to get to a higher level of consciousness. It is just a secondary consequence of being present that our lives tend to become easier and better.
A Better Understanding of a Universal Teaching
I can see now how Andersen was truly trying to get that across. He wasn't stuck on the superficial level of manifesting...He was talking about the evolutionary need, the Universal desire, for all of us to connect to the USC, God....
He also encourages us to do the same thing as others, like Tolle, do when we encounter challenges in life we might want changed . We are to see ourselves as seperate from those challenges, to not react...to trust in a higher power. It is this surrenering to what is that will bring peace, not the change in external reality that will surely follow. Hmm!
When I am faced with apparent confusion, I surrender it, give over each of my problems and worries to that which has the perfect solution and in which there is absolute clarity. I take my thoughts from the limitless reaches of Universal Subconscious Mind, never from the world around me. I do not think responsively, I think originally; I do not react, I act. I am never a victim of circumstances, for each thing of my life proceeds from out of my thoughts, which move always in accord with God. Location 4086
Someting to think about..
All is well!
Andersen, Uell S.. Three Magic Words . BN Publishing. Kindle Edition.
Eckhart Tolle (September 29, 2020) Becoming A Conscious Participant /Awaken Your Inner Light/ Mini-series # 4. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bx3tN9Qf_l0
Sometimes I go about in pity for myself. And all awhile I am being carried by great wings across the sky.
Ojibwa saying
We get so lost sometimes don't we, in our own personal challenges and sense of "suffering"? We master the first of the Four Noble Truths. We know that suffering exists.
But as Jack Kornfield reminds us in his video by the same name...suffering is not the end of story. There are three more truths to consider. There is a cause for suffering and it isn't anything "out there". It is our reactivity, our greed, our resentment, our attachment to the world of form, our tendency to believe everything the ego mind tells us that causes suffering. There is also a way through suffering and a path to peace, joy, happiness and the ultimate experience: love. We just tend to stop and get stuck on the first truth...that suffering exists. We often fail, therefore to, to see beyond it.
The great power is not to be afraid of suffering.
If we knew what caused suffering, we could end suffering. If we knew that the cause of suffering was primarily overidentification with thinking and circumstance, we would detach from thinking and circumstance wouldn't we? We would observe it...not as us...but as something just passing by our awareness. We would not hate it or push it away. We would simply view it with "Loving awareness", with "amazement" and with peace. We would then realize that we were not only observing with loving awareness...we were loving awareness...and we would offer ourselves freely to the world.
Suffering, then, is not the end of the story. It is merely the beginning that leads us toward the end.
What is the end of the story?
A loving heart. Suffering takes us to a loving heart.
All is well!
Jack Kornfield ( September 26, 2020) Suffering is not the end of the story.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPcArisRmH8
Every challenge takes you a little deeper and awakens you again and again.Without the challenges you would probably go back to sleep. The challenges keep you awake.
Eckhart Tolle (https://www.azquotes.com/author/14703-Eckhart_Tolle/tag/challenges)
Yesterday's Post
Hmmm! I posted yesterday's entry on death being the unifying motivation for all life after I wrote it. But throughout the day, as I was recovering from a weakened state, I pulled it down. I had this thought that people wouldn't get it. It was too "negative", too "dark", and too "whiney" . It had sopped up and seemed to be dripping with some stored anger and frustration I released as I wrote it. It also brought up some things I had supressed, represed and denied over the last seven months so I could get by...triggering some deeply rooted fear and suffering. Having what seems like a truck load of stuff to deal with already ..I wasn't sure if I could deal with that too. So...I pulled it down.
Serendipity
Then today...serendipity once again reached out to me...with...guess what? ...another video from Eckhart Tolle. (This is truly bizarre...and I don't care if google anyltics is involved in some form of site tracking or not...this is beyond bizarre...how these perfectly synced and timely videos show up for me to watch as soon as I turn on Youtube....is amazing to me.)
Talking to Me
Anyway , it was like he was talking to me and what I wrote about. It ws like he was noticing that I have so much on my plate, a sudden influx of challenges on a personal level, reminding me that I was actually being blessed with all "this stuff". I know that. I see how much I have evolved. I am evolving a quickened rate becasue of it. I am realizing my essence identity and that I am here , as all of us are, not to be comfortable but to evolve to a higher level of understanding, so we can light up the world in the darkest places. I am waking up and I don't want to go back to sleep. If I need these challenges to keep me awake...I welcome them.
Meditating with Self Compassion
To further the expereince, as I was meditating today, I decided to add that light in the form of self compassion to my practice. I began to feel compassionate towards myself for the "perceived" suffering I am and have been enduring. I saw myself in several of the challenging life situations I have encountered. I mentally reached in and pulled myself from each situation I was randomly recalling . Then I put this changing image I had of me at the times I was struggling with changing outward events, in my heart.... without the circumstance, just with the pain.
And I rocked and soothed that image with loving kindness, the same way I rocked and soothed all my children when they were little and hurting. The tears started coming, one by one, and I focused on each tear following it from my eye, down my cheek with every exhale. The mindfulness was soft and gentle and healing. It was free of my own judgement and self criticism...For so long I beat myself up for my pain. I thought if it wasn't validated by others, it wasn't real and if it wasn't real I had no right to feel it, let alone express it. I stuffed it all inside. That is why I took that entry down yesterday. I believed I hate no right to my honesty.
Today I allowed myself to feel it. It was with compassion and kindness that I embraced my pain without the suffering that other opinion, drama, and story add to it. I can assure you it wasn't self pity or a desire for melodrama that moved me...It was just me accepting my pain with kindness, compassion and Love.
Why I Share
Now I share this because I know I am not the only person in the world who suffers and I am not the only person who adds what Tara Brach refers to as "the third arrow" to suffering by beating ourselves up for it, by denying our own pain until others validate our right to it, by stuffing the truth of our experiences.
If we are going to be the lights of this world(which we are all here to be), we need to first shine the light on ourselves. If we are going to fill this world with compassion and kindness, especially in places where it seems to be deficient, we need to start by being kind and compassionate with ourselves. We also need to speak our truth, not in a reactive ego way...with the intention to hurt, to make guilty or to attack but simply to make known the need for change, the need for all of us to wake up a bit in order to make the well being of each other, all beings, the world the priority.
Hmmm! Well that is what I came to see this morning. And I am no expert. Sigh...I don't know much. I just know that if challenges of any kind, be they physical, mental or circumstantial, lead us towards a bit of loving kindness for self or others...for all beings on this planet....it can't be all that bad, can it?
All is well!
Tara Brach ( 2004) Radical Acceptance. Random House
Eckhart Tolle ( September 27, 2020) Challenges as a Pathway to Conscious Evolution https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fEuGGbOv3o
Find death before death finds you.
Eckhart Tolle
Though I usually never plan before hand what I will write as I sit myself down here in front of the computer, I found myself in the middle of the night deciding what my next entry would be. I had a bit of an overwhelming encounter with my physical form.
A Long Winded Explanation About My Body's Inspiration to Wtite About Survival
I woke up for the second night in a row with intense but familiar lower abdominal/pelvic pain (been having the same type of pain off and on since 2016...thought it was endometriosis) and sickness that led me running back and forth to the Bathroom all night.
Besides that my ticker was acting up from a mini hike we did that day. I had the usual exertional pressure in chest, dizziness, and palpitations that I get from overexerting myself.
If that wan't enough the pain in my underarm seemed to intensify. It led me to put my hand to the spot for the first time in months and I could feel something there. Though I felt discomfort in the area for over 9 months, I refused to palpate it during the six month wait for another MRI I was given. Deciding that I wouldn't sit with fear and negativity as I waited for a system (individuals within the sytem) that seemed to be resisting my every move towards wellness for their own egoic reasons to smarten the heck up, I made the conscious and not so conscious decision to repress, supress and deny my way through what turned out to be 7 months of waiting for a test I have yet to hear about and one I know I will not hear about unless I begin that fight and struggle all over again. I have no choice now...I feel something there! Sigh!
And on top of that my joints which were getting increasingly stiff over the last few weeks were noticeably stiff, hot and sore everytime I got up last night.(It isn't COVID) My mind began to spin...I had pulled a tiny black legged tick out of me in July. I put it in a pill bottle with the intention of sending it off for testing, not so much for my sake, but as a public health measure to determine if Lyme carrying ticks have finally made it this far north. I doubted if they did...I wasn't going to go on a prophylactic antibiotic because I was just on one for a nasty UTI. I truly thought it was next to impossible for me to get Lyme Disease. So I put that out of my mind too. Never thought much of it until I developed a large bulls eye rash in that area two weeks later. Then it hit me...I forgot to send the tick for testing. I went to get the pill bottle and noticed that it had turned to dust. There would be no way of validating, then, if it was carrying Borrelia. I stuffed the "oh no" down and said I would wait to see if I got other symptoms. Though I have been noticing increasing joint stiffness and muscle pain especially in the hips, knees and elbows..I kept chalking it up to doing something wrong in my yoga practice. Last night my hips, wrists, knees and hands were hot.. That's not yoga.
I thought,"Oh my goodness...I couldn't have Lyme Disease, could I? Like really...would I have that added to everything else I can't get diagnosed? I know that Life is here to test us but this is like giving a Grade Two student the MCATS...telling them they won't get to Grade Three unless they pass them...don't you think? A little too much? "
Or is it?
It seemed that every physical ailment I was dealing with, denying or ignoring decided to make itself known to me in the middle of the night. I was reminded that my physical form is undergoing some challenges. Making me aware of these things was like it whispering to me, "I want to survive...pay attention to me...do something!" Then it dawned on me ...all beings on this planet have this inherent biological drive to survive. That is what unifies us. We are all being challenged in one way or another. We feel pain as a sign that survival is in jeopardy. Our forms undergo change in order to adapt to a changing environment so we can survive. We feel pain but we also want the pain to end.
A Writing Topic
My mind was made up: I was going to come here today to write about the thing I thought unifies all of us, "The Unifying drive to live" and the "the unifying drive to end suffering". Hmmm! Pretty straight forward.Great topic.
Then, as I was sitting, somehwat sloppily and negatively at the table with my tea...all I could put in me as replacement fluid...a video showed up on my desk top for me to view. I was suddenly challenged by another idea.What we really want is not so much Life but death?
Huh?
In Transcending Limitation to Awaken, Eckhart Tolle reminds us that the evolutionary impulse that unites us is not a desire to live, but a desire to die.
Say what crazy lady?
Sounds pretty morbid but think about it! What happens in death state or its minature form of deep sleep is we slip awat from mind and body as pure consciousness, and are reconnected to what is real and important...to all there really is. We are reunited with the One Source, with our timeless ( eternal) essence.
Deep Sleep-The Mini Death Experience
Deep sleep is a death of the ego but not of us. We are not aware of body or "little me" in that state but neither are we 'unconscious'. We still exist as something... otherwise we wouldn't wake up. Who we really are beyond body and mind needs these 'little deaths' to remind itself of its essence. It is driven to die for certain amounts of time every night..
When we are tired and lay down at night, we are pulled toward sleep because of this impulse to slip out of our form, our ego, our mind and our body to rediscover just how formless we are. When our bodies are a certain tired after a certain life span we are pulled toward death for the same reason. Even though we do not have the capacity to know this in conceptual sense.
Seeking the Formless
It is reconnection with our formless, egoless essence that we seek through death.
The thing that unites us then is not this desire and drive to stay in physical form but to be reunited with the formless nature of who we are.
The good news is we can die before we die. We can reach a state of Self-realization, a state of awareness that who we are is formless, and egoless without ever having to take our last breath. We are called constantly to that state.
Death is not the end of Self
We have this notion that death is the end of not just form but everything. It isn't. Death is not necessarily an end of body. It can be just an end to our attachment to this world we created with our minds.
It is not an end to us. There is "eternal Life". Only form dissolves , not the essence. And our forms do not have to die before we can discover this essence of who we are. We can in a sense die before we die and from there learn to truly live.
So I don't know what my body is doing. I don't know how long it will last....maybe another 40 years ...maybe another 40 weeks. I don't know. Maybe its urgent communications with me are not there to ensure I do what I can so that it can survive. Maybe they are there to remind me of its adapting and perishable nature so I find what it is truly important before I leave it. Maybe it is there to remind me that I will not be united with what we all truly want through attachment to its 'existence' but through death, which only involves my mental detachment from this world .
Hmmm!
All is well.
Eckhart Tolle ( July 3, 2020) Transcending Limitations to Awaken. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEk7SDBkiHg
I learned a new word today, thanks again to Eckhart Tolle who once again serenidiptously ( and unknowingly lol) reached into my life with a bit of wisdom when I needed it . That word is Turiya (missing an accent over the i). I have been studying yoga for a while and I have been fascinated by the symbol of AUM but I somehow missed that word "Turiya" which represents the forth level of pure and whole consciousness, true awakening.
So I decided to look a little more into it through translations of the Mandukya Upanishads which is arguably a combination of both Hindu and Buddhist teachings.
In Turiya we have transcended the other three levels of consciousness or what verse 3 to 7 of this Upanishad refers to as Atman/Self/soul. which are:
How this looks with the AUM symbol....(sorry ...I am no artist)
So what does all this new conceptual learning have to do with this idea of me?
Well besides fascinating me- I am so intrigued by this type of learning and yoga in general...it reminded me that what I am seeking...whether I get close to it or not in this life time...is Turiya.
This idea of "me" I am becoming more and more aware...is not who I am. I still get lost in this stream of thinking, in conceptual mind and this idea of "my life". ...when I meet up with challenging external situations. At the same time I know I am evolving and going beyond that towards Self. That... I find is amazing and exciting.
I am beginning to see, observe, and recognize my thoughts as thoughts, rather than as me, as Tolle describes in the linked video below.
We often say "I think" as if thinking is something we can control but we never say "I beat my heart"...do we? Thoughts are like heart beats...they are involuntary. We don't have to put all that energy, then, into trying to stop them or control them. We just have to observe and recognize them as thoughts...therefore something on the surface of who we really are. Just as I see, observe, recognize my breath as breath and my heart beat as my heart beat, I can onserve my thoughts. (I can, because of my little issue, hear and feel almost every heart beat if I close my eyes and focus.)
Anyway...I see that thought and circumstance are just happening. I do not have to try to stop them or control them...I can simply watch them and see that they are not me. Who I am...who we all are at the purest level ...is deeper than that all that.
So what that means is that I can continue with my pray, "Please take me to peace" rather than ask "please give me some peace."
My situation does not have to change. I do not have to try to stop teh thinking or make it more "positive"...I just have to keep reminding myself there is a whole level of "being" underneath all this where, regardless if the mortgage gets paid or not...I will find what is really important.. Hmmm!
All is well.
B.K.S. Iyengar (2013?) Light on Pranayama. Thorsons: London, England
Manorama (2020) The Mandukya Upanishad.Sanskrit Studies https://sanskritstudies.org/mandukya-upanishad
Eckhart Tolle (June, 2020 ) Discovering Freedom Through Challenge.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgXhEImYvb4
Wikipedia The Mandukya Upanishad. Retrieved Sept 25, 2020. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mandukya_Upanishad#:~:text=Aum%20as%20all%20states%20of%20consciousness,%22without%20an%20element%22%20respectively.
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came so that they may have life and have it more abundantly.
John 10:10 (https://www.biblegateway.com/verse/en/John%2010%3A10)
Sigh!!! I was thinking about lack and poverty and scarcity this morning. I, like many, many people do, have some "financial worries". I have a deep "poverty'scarcity/lack" written in what seems to be permament marker over the white board of my consciousness. :)
I have no idea how I am going to pay my mortgage....none! I thought I let go of that worry...gave it up...but it crept back into my awareness this morning. End of the month is approaching and I have no idea how to solve this problem in the physical world sense. Then serendipity blessed my Life again with the video below...just as if it was on cue from a Director...it is so amazing how that happens.
Eckhart Tolle reminded me of this passage from John. I did some thinking on it and realized I was allowing myself to be robbed.
The thief of peace ( my big fat ego...my attachment to this idea of "me against the big bad world" ) snuck in through some window I left open and is here to steal, kill and destroy. Well...that is its intention.
But there is something much more powerful than ego...isn't there? Christ explains how He came to offer us this reminder of Something Greater ...this higher consciousness...God realization ...and how this , unlike the thief, ego is...will give us Life and give it to us much more abundantly.
What is abundance?
I don't think He was talking about paying my mortgage lol...though that would be nice. He wasn't talking about filling our lives with " external world things" that may actually take us farther away from the truly abundant life rather than closer to it. He was talking about being abundant in the 'stuff ' that really matters...peace, joy, Love and connection to who we really are and from Whom we came. His presence in our lives and in us...is a reminder of that.
Adding a word to my prayer
I used to pray in my desperation, "Just bring me peace"...meaning that I was asking that my external life situations be changed so that I could have some peace. Then I realized I forgot a word in that prayer...a tiny but so important word..."to".
I pray now..."Please bring me to peace." I am not asking that my life situation be changed anymore. I am asking that I be returned Home...to that place inside me, around me...inside and around everyone, and everything..that is so spacious, real and wise....so that I can accept the life situations from there.
Ego can try to come in there...it can steal whatever it wants there ..but if it can be stolen it isn't important. It isn't real. The truly important things cannot be stolen, killed or destroyed. Ego will realize it is just wasting its time on me. It will back off on its own accord and my life will be abundant in the things that really matter.
All is well.
Eckhart Tolle ( August ,2020) How can the power of presence help me overcome this poverty mindset?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbJHTVjKC1I
In the not knowing, there is a deeper knowing.
Eckhart Tolle
Comfortable Not Knowing?
Most of us want to know everything about everything...sometimes we even believe we do or at least we pretend to. Uncertainity scares us...even though it can be the thing that takes us deeper.
Who is reading this? I don't know.
I have no idea how the stats analytics on this blog works lol...so I have no idea how many people are reading this blog, let alone getting something from it. Why I question:
Don't Need to Know
So anyway ..I do not have a clue how many people are reading this and getting something from it. I am aware that people are clicking on to the site for reasons other than reading and that is adding to stats. Ego, at one point would have needed to know...would have demanded that validation that I am being read and received well. The part of me that guides me here every morning, however, doesn't need it...doesn't need people to risk their privacy to comment and I do not need to see large numbers. I am really happy with ten genuine readers a day and thrilled when I get over 20. I just do the writing as I feel pulled to do and allow this Thing I can't understand take care of the details. I am okay with that and I am okay with "not knowing".
Don't Know Much of Anything...
I actually do not know much of anything and I am beginning to find comfort in not knowing. I do not know how many lives I am impacting here...though I do get comments saying that I am helping a few which is wonderful...mission completed. When I started this, I told myself, if I made a difference in one life...even if that life was mine...I would have done what I set out to do. So that is all good. So I keep coming here, not knowing.
I also don't know if my other words that have yet to be published will ever be seen, let alone help someone. Yet, I keep writing, keep reworking things to make them better, and submitting so that they may be picked up, published and shared with the world. While I write, edit and submit... I find peace with not knowing how it will all turn out.
I don't know about my body and what is going on it or how it will all turn out either. I am attempting to find some peace...just letting it all go...letting Life decide.
I don't have the answers to my questions about Life and God and I may never get them until I die...but I keep asking, keep searching, finding comfort and inspiration with the not knowing.
And as Eckhart Tolle reminded me today in his video ....I do not know who I am really. I mean...I know surface level stuff and I know what I read, listen to, learn but I do not have the deeper Self knowing...because that cannot be known conceptually. It is beyond knowing.
So finding comfort in the not knowing is a great thing. We just go breath by breath, step by step, and moment by moment "being"...trusting ... instead of knowing.
All good.
Eckhart Tolle (Spetember 18, 2020) Comfortable Not Knowing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q_3RwffAz0
Forgiveness paints a picture of a world where suffering is over, loss becomes impossible and anger makes no sense. Attack is gone, and madness has an end. What suffering is now conceivable? What loss can be sustained? The world becomes a place of joy, abundance, charity and endless giving.
ACIM: Lesson 249:1:1-5
I had a hard time with the What is Salvation?...because that word,'salvation', has a lot of conditioned connotation attached to it and it doesn't settle easily in my mind. I am hoping the next section, What is the World? ...will be easier to understand and explain. I have to remind myself and you that these are just words...only pointers to a greater understanding that cannot be explained with words.
3. What is the World?
The first line kind of says it all, The world is false perception. The way we see the world is erroneous ...it is "wrong". And I can use the 'right and wrong' here when I talk about this world view because that is partly what makes the world we tend to see through ego's eyes so wrong. It is full of duality and dichotomy. So the 'world', as we see it now, is ego's world...an illusion created and limited by ego's dependency on the five senses, body borders to seperate, sin and punishment and the development of fear. It is an illusion...a false reality created so ego can thrive...a place that locks God and love out.
All we need to do to see the "real" world...to see "rightly"... is to change our perception..to seek what lay beyond this world ego paints for us to the truth of who we are and from Whom we came. Forgiveness is simply a change in perception.
Lesson 241: This holy instant is salvation come.
When we forgive the world for its illusions and see quickly in this instant...this moment, the only time there is...that we are all One...we immediately are saved. We are home. The illusion of suffering leaves and the truth of joy and Love emerge into our awareness.
Lesson 241: This day is God's. It is my gift to Him.
Here we recognize that we really do not understand the world but we ask that we be led to God Who does understand it. We trust in Christ and the Holy Spirit to take us toward home, to God. Thy Will be done.
Lesson 243: Today I will judge nothing that occurs.
This is a beautiful lesson in accepting and appreciating what is...without the need to judge or label....to put aside our dualistic tendencies that keep us caught in the illusionary world and to just allow creation to be itself. We admit that we don't know, in conceptual terms, what is ahead of us but that truth is in us all.
Lesson 244: I am in danger nowhere in the world.
In this lesson we are taught that there is no need to be afraid or to doubt. In the real world, so unike ego's, we are safe. It is only illusion that threatens.
Lesson 245: Your peace is with me, Father, I am safe
In lesson 245 we are reminded that God's peace is with us always and it is our duty and privilege to pass that peace onto the world. When we share this peace we recognize who we truly are...a united Self.
Lesson 246: To love my Father is to love His son
We can not find our way to God if we have hate or vengeance in our hearts for others. We choose to love all of humanity as God wills we do.
Lesson 247: Without forgiveness I will still be blind
We will not discover the truth without forgiveness and forgiveness is merely recognizing how we have percieved wrongly. Our brother( again...look past the masculine terminology) is not the enemy...he is a part of who we are. We see Self in our brother's eyes.
Lesson 248: Whatever suffers is not part of me.
Here we recognize that the suffering we percieve is not a part of who we really are...it is simply a mind creation, an illusion. We are Love, as is God, as is everyone.
Lesson 249: Forgiveness ends all suffering and loss
Once we see ourselves and the world for what it really is there can be no more suffering. Right view ends suffering. When we remove our minds from ego's traps, and return them to God's Mind...this is forgiveness and this is what ends suffering and loss.
Lesson 250: Let me not see myself as limited
When we look upon our "brother" ( another) we see ourself...our powerful, unlimited Self so attack would never be warranted.
All is well!
ACIM (2007) A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume: Workbook. Foundation For Inner Peace: Mill Valley
I have arrived; I am home
in the here; in the now.
I am solid; I am free.
In the Ultimate I dwell.
Thich Nhat Hanh, peace is every breath, pg 30.
This wonderful teacher offers these words to those seeking mindfulnes through walking meditation in his lovely little book, peace is every breath. With these words in mind, we can notice, allow and sink into the present moment with every step we take; with every breath we take.
What does it mean?
Breathing in, stepping down: I have arrived...
The goal of mindfulness...and the goal of Life... is to be in the moment...to be.
Being is not about going anywhere or getting anywhere but in order to conceptualize what being is to a mind that is always trying to get somewhere...we can tell ourselves we have already arrived. In truth ...we never left anywhere to get to this place. We were already here. At least when we say those words:"I have arived"...they help to put the mind's seeking tendency and the need to go somewhere to sleep.
Breathing out, stepping down: I am home
This present moment is our home. It is what we are truly seeking whether we know it or not. When we recite "I am" we are focusing on everything we are and everything we need at the deepest level. We bring ourselves out of mental places and into the experience of being. Home is peace and reconnection to that deeper level of Self, of being...what we are.
Breathing in, stepping down: in the here
Right here...not 'out there' somewhere...not in the mind or some idea we have of where we ''should be"...in this step, this inhale, this place, this circumstance...no matter what it offers, on this part of the path...this place we are planting our foot down ...is the only place we can be. Here!
Breathing out, stepping down: in the now
Right now...not in some moment up ahead or in some moment we lived before...both of which are only mental concepts ...but in this moment right now, which is really the only time there is...we step down into Life.
Breathing in, stepping down: I am solid
In this moment we recognize our physical form ...we see there is a part of us that is physical...that is solid...our body, our thoughts, our circumstances etc. We accept this as we place our physical foot down onto the physical path.
Breathing out, stepping down: I am free
Here we acknowledge what we are beyond form; who we are beneath the body and the ego...We are Spirit...and Spirit, the formless essence, cannot be contained or limited by form. It is free...we are free.
Breathing in and stepping down; breathing out and stepping down : In the Ultimate I dwell
Here we acknowledge our unity with all that is...with this Ultimate Source of everything, with God and we dwell here...we live in this moment here. We are truly present.
Hmmm! Again my intrepretation. You decide what those words might mean to you.
Thich Nhat Hanh (2011) peace is every breath. Harper One: New York
This is the most valuable moment. Why? Because it is the only moment.
Eckhart Tolle
Hmm! The following came to me as I was listening to Eckhart Tolle's video on the present moment (see link below).
We are always looking for the big moments up ahead aren't we? We overvalue that moment up there (in our heads only) and devalue the present moment we can actually experience. We do not see that life isn't just about the big moments, or the future ( which can only be a mental projection...never real) ...infact most of life is about the little moments we overlook:
don't hold your breath
don't hold your breath and wait for glory
as you take the first step to the end of story
don't overlook, ignore, trod over or smother
this tiny step you take now toward the other
it is in the space between point A and B
that you must awaken and learn to see
that this is your life, right here, right now
embrace this step, accept, allow
put aside your wish for this moment to leave
place your foot gently, then gratefully breathe
© Dale-Lyn (Pen) September, 2020
Eckhart Tolle (June, 2020) Being at Peace/The Present Moment. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-HWfAZlAbI
We are one, united in this light and one with You, at peace with all creation and ourselves.
ACIM-W-Part II:2:239:2:3
My Bad: I meant to be done the entire workbook by now but have not looked at the lessons since July 28th. I tell myself there is some reason for that I may never be able to understand with my limited little mind. Andersen's book landed on my lap, as well as Tara Brach's, Rubert Spiro's, and Jon Kabat-Zinn's. All exactly when they were supposed to.
So here we go:
Part II : 2. What is Salvation?
Salvation is simply remembering who we really are. We tame the mind when we see beyond it to what is; when we realize we are all part of the One Mind; that there never was such a thing as seperation; when we realize the only time there is is 'now", and when we are able to replace the the thought of conflict with the Thought of peace.
Lesson 231: Father, I will but to remember You
What we truly seek is not the many things 'out there' but reconnection to and renewed awareness of the Love of God. We seek that Love which will set us free. We too often are unconscious and confused seeking a myriad of things with different names but in truth what we are seeking in these things is that which cannot be neamed... the Love of God.
Lesson 232: Be in my mind, my Father,through the day.
This lesson appeals to us to have Faith and trust in God as we pray to Him to be in our minds throughout the day and night. We pray that we are constantly reminded and grateful of God's presence in our life, His Love and protection.
Lesson 233: I give my life to God to guide today
Here we vow to give up our life to God's guidance and Will. We trust in His thought not our own. We let go of our futile goals to find what we are looking for 'out there' when what we really want is in the One who Guides. We pledge to follow, even when we cannot comprehend the Way He works and to trust in that Love He offers.
Lesson 234: Father, today I am Your son again
We anticipate the Holy Instant that allows us to see that the Peace of God and the safety and blessing provided to us did not leave us...it was always with us and that the memory Of God, we will never lose. We realize with this awareness that we are saved.
Lesson 235: God in His mercy wills that I be saved
We see in this lesson that God wills we be saved...and by saved we simply realize the illusion of sin and ego...how suffering disappears when we see clearly the truth that God wills us Love and peace, not punishment for the illusion of sin.
Lesson 236: I rule my mind, which I alone must rule.
This lesson is about the mind and how we are the ones that rule it. Instead of allowing ego to take the reins, we can instead give those reins to the Holy Spirit so that we serve , doing God's will instead of ego's. We can go beyond the thinking ego is trying to convince us is our reality to the truth. Instead of getting lost in ego's thinking...we go to stillness and silence and open ourselves to God's Thoughts.
Lesson 237: Now would I be as God created me
Here we announce that we know who we really are. We accept that truth of Self and we share that truth with the world through our acceptance of it. We come to God through Christ.
Lesson 238: On my decision all salvation rests
Reminded of how we are united with all as one Self, and therefore how our salvation will lead to the salvation of all, we are also reminded of our worthiness for this task, how God loves and trusts us.
Lesson 239: The glory of my Father is my own
We are asked in this lesson to denounce our false humility and to be thankful for the gift of glory God has given us...for the light [of unity] that shines forever in us.
Lesson 240: Fear is not justified in any form
In the final lesson in this section we are told that fear is not justified because it is only a deception. When we fear we are attesting that we are seeing ourselves in a way we could never be and seeing a world that is impossible. How foolish are our fears!
In Other Words:
Okay these are beautiful lessons with beautiful messages ...whether you are Christian or not; whether you are Christian and see ACIM as a blasphemous take on Christianity or not; whether you see it all as new age woo-woo nonsense or not...the underlying message resonates with a knowing that is familiar. This knowing is one that goes beyond conceptual knowledge and conditioning...beyond what we were taught to believe and perceive and what we have learned or chosen to believe or perceive over our life times. Though this message is spoken with terminology that may be comforting to some, off-putting to others...the message is simple, universal and healing. It is not meant to please your ego. It is meant to awaken your spirit. The message is Love.
Huh?
We really need to get beyond words at some point...beyond concepts and ideas that seperate and support our egos to determine the One truth...that is the background of most true teachings. All these teachings, whether it is from ACIM, more traditional Christianity (and its many, many different sects), Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, other religions, science, philosophy, psychology, allopathic medicine or some other field of thought.... point to a knowing that cannot be taught, only remembered.
Too often we get stuck in the field of thought and cannot see beyond it. Many of us, personally or collectively, are so busy trying to protect and support our ideations, terms, words and convictions that we don't even look to see what the teacher or teachings we follow are pointing to. For example, in Christianity, we may get stuck on building up, supporting and protecting our version of Christ and the words He used as the messenger, creating different , seperate sects of belief under the title of Christianity...In each sect we may be so convinced that our way of believing is right, and all other ways are wrong , using "The Word" as our weapon..."Salvation" is such a word. We may get so caught up on determining who gets saved, when they get saved, how they get saved , from what they are being saved...that we fail to see what salvation really is.
So we do need to get beyond the different intrepretation of words, the different ideas ...to the truth that we are being pointed to.
We are being taught, in one way or another, over and over agian...that we are more than this!
We are more than this body, this personality, the things we do, the things we have, the way we think or feel. All that is just a superficial and flimsy front over the space of what we really are. We are not the foreground of form...we are the background of formlessness. When we see this...when we know this...when we reconnect to the awareness, the essence of Love we have been erronously searching for "out there"...guess what? We will be saved.
Salvation is About Remembering
So many teachings point to this one truth: we are saved when we remember who we are and from Whom we came. We are saved when we see that in our true essence we are all One...a part of and operating with One Mind...what Andersen referred to as the "Universal Subconcious Mind"...other fields of thought may call it Tao, or Self...Atman, Budha Nature...The field...and A Course calls it "God's Mind" "God's Will".
What we are saved from...is the fog, illusion and dream like state we are in when we operate under ego, when we believe everything our thinking is telling us. Basically...salvation comes when we see beyond the seperate mind and reconnect to the One Mind.
Hmm! Well that is my intrepretation of an intrepretation. Knowing truth cannot be explained or reduced to words. It is the words and individual intrepretations that often block the knowing.
All is well!
ACIM (2007) A Course in Miracles; Combined Edition-Workbook. Foundations of Inner Peace: Mill Valley
Excuse the typos on the recent entries. The spell checker isn't working...and I miss it lol. I am a self taught typist, typing very quickly to keep up with the thoughts in my head, on a key board that has many letters worn off the keys . For some reason...my tapping fingers prefer to put the e before the h in "the" , the e before the i in words like "experience". And there is a host of many other typos you will be able to find. I try to eventually get back to them but for now please excuse them if you notice.
Watch what you tell yourself. You are likely to believe it.
Russ Kyle (https://7summitpathways.com/blog/what-is-positive-self-talk/)
Hmmm! There is one gaurantee in Life that you can always depend on...there will always be something that will go "wrong". That is if you think in terms of right and wrong. Life is going to be challenging...there is no escaping that. No matter what expectations you have flittering around in your head about how life "should" be....Life won't be able to meet all of them the way you think it "should".
Most of us got it all wrong...we spend all this time, energy and effort into trying to make Life different so it meets our expectations...only to find that it seldom does...and even when it does...something always tends to go "wrong" eventually. We get angry, frustrated, fearful, anxious and depressed because Life cannot keep up with these expectations of what is "good", "right" and "pleasant".
Let's face it...we can't change what is ...but we can do something with those expectations of ours.
The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt.
Frederick Beuchner (https://everydaypower.com/karma-quotes/)
I don't know about you but sometimes I feel like I am caught in a big karmic loop and it aint pretty.
What is Karma anyway? I liked Eckhart Tolle's definition in the video linked below. Karma is just the echo of our own conditioning. Hmmm!
To understand Karma, we need to first understand the entity that creates it. No, not God...our puny little minds.
The Ego
We all have these voices, these teachings, these memories and interpretations, these thoughts, beliefs and judgements from our past stuck in us..They gather and clump together forming a new growth that threatens to take over our very lives and does. It becomes a malignant personification, an ego entity...a thing that seems to have become something in itself, to have a life of its own and like a malignant tumour it grows and grows.
For many of us it is a very dense and heavy thing we have a hard time seeing through. It covers up who we really are and it is the self we show the world. It is the thing we tend to see when we look in the mirror as "me". We become convinced of its solidity, its reality. We truly believe that it is us and we are it.That there is nothing more than it and what it allows us to see.
What Tolle Refers to as the Pain Body
And for many of us it can be a nasty, nasty thing...dark and negative, hostile and seething like a volcano that could erupt at any time. It gets stronger by joining up with other entities like it, creating a collective force. It is also a thing that suffers and makes others suffer. It is, in fact the thing that is responsible for all the suffering in the world, all the violence, the hatred, the fear, the desperation, the lonliness, the illness and despair. It appears to be very, very powerful and getting more so everyday!
Feeding It
We allow it to scream. We allow it to temper tantrum. We allow it to create a drama filled mess wherever it goes...by feeding it. We feed it constantly with our beleif in it. We feed it constantly with our unconsciousness...our inability or our refusal to look beyond it. We feed it constantly by seeing only its negative malignancy in self, others and by not being able to ( or refusing to) look at the glory and the good that exists beyond it. We feed it with our judgements, our view points, our ideolgy. We feed it with this conviction that body lines seperate. We feed it with our refusal to accept life as it is (remember...pain is one thing...a necessary part of life...suffering, however, is another). We feed it when we believe it, listen to it and follow its directions to react, defend, struggle agianst, resist or attack any idea or holder of an idea that dimishes it, especially the idea that we may be more than it.
Ego's Echo
When we do react, resist, struggle against the moment we are in...it gets stronger, we get weaker. Our worlds become limited, dark, unfriendly, punitive. This is Karma: ego's echo. The more we feed ego, the stronger it gets and the more it demands...it screams for more, demands more and will lay down on the floors of our lives if we do not give it what it wants, making a scene. This egoic conditioning is echoed off the invisible walls around us and comes back to us in negative or chaotic circumstance. We add teh element of suffering to the necessary curves of life. We react; others react; ego clashes against ego. Ego creates a mess as if to say, "See! I told you it was this way!"
And we just keep feeding it and believing in it and doing what it tells us to do. It seems to be easier to feed ego than it is, for some reason, to see the illusionary nature of it. To see that we, in a sense, are causing our own suffering...our own Karma.
Breaking Up With Ego
Ego is an abusive lover...seeking only to keep itself strong by making us weak and limited, victims to its unpredicatble nature. It wants us weak. It wants us totally dependent on it. It does not want us to see who we could be without it...what life could be without it. So it is constantly screaming for us to follow our thoughts, to depend only on what we can pick up with the five senses as our reality...to see the world the way it wants us to see it. To avoid...at all costs...the deeper awareness that comes with presence. For presence, it knows, will make it seen for what it is. In that awareness, ego will simply evaporate as the nothing it is.
It seems so solid, so real.
Yet it is nothing, nothing more than smoke and mirrors, an illusion, a creation of our minds. Therefore all that it creates in the world, all that we expereince in terms of circumstance and suffering is nothing more than an echo of its screaming and temper tantruming. We need to stop feeding it and seek instead the awareness , the truth of who we really are.
Karma Guides Us Inward
Sometimes it takes this karmic suffering...be it personal or collective...to make us see how ego isn't real, how we are allowing it to rule our lives. When we see this...then we may be willing to go deeper and discover who we are without ego and what life can be like from an egoless perspective.
Hmmm! Something to think about.
All is well!
Eckhart Tolle (May 2020 ) Futility of Egoic Reaction and Navigating Our Awakening https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9DCVEwd6Lw
All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players.
William Shakespeare, As You Like It, Act II, Scene VII
Hmm! How bang on was Jacques' statement here? I thought about that today as I istened to Eckhart Tolle. He brought up this famous line in his discussion on disguises...on how Life/Universal Mind...what I refer to as God... disquises itself in many forms. (see video link below). Everything of form is an expression of God in a different disquise.
Just a Disquise
Each human is an expression of God, a player on this stage we call Life. We are all wearing costumes and heavy make up: our bodies and personas, as we play our parts here: our roles, our doings and creation of outward appearances. But they are just that...disguises we are wearing and roles we are playing. These things we have come to believe are us, what we have come to see as "others'...are just that...disquises. Too often we are so convinced the disquise is real that we do not see beyond it to who we really are...expressions of divine Intelligence. One intelligence...many forms...entering and exiting, playing seven acts from birth to death.
Getting Lost in Character
We are just acting under the most brilliant of direction. What is created seems so real that we get lost in character and foregt all about the script writer and lose touch with that gentle direction as if we can now control the way the play turns out. We lose touch with who we really are beyond the costume and the makeup. We do not see beyond the disquises in others either. If they are playing the part of the villian...we see them as the villian and defend or attack accordingly. If they are playing the part of a loved one, we will claim and cling.
Reminder: We Are Just Acting
We are here to enjoy the role without getting lost in it, without believing it is all real. We have to remember that we are just acting...just playing a part and wearing a disquise. Who we are is much grander, much more spacious and beautiful than any mask or robe we can cover ourselves in. There are no villians and opponents; no special lovers and friends. There is just One United Self flowing through everything.
Play the game...play your part, enjoy it but seek to see through what appears to be ...to what is. See through the disquise in self and others to find that truth that makes the need for mask, make up or costume obselete.
United Under the Supreme Director's Command
We are not seperate in anything but this play. In truth we are One and our seemingly seperate bodies and egos are simply disguises we wear while we act on this stage which is only the superficial platform of our existence. Life is so much more than this stage and we are so much more than the seperate parts we are playing. We are all united under the Supreme Director's command. See through the disguise to the truth!
Hmmm!
Some Correlating Ideas from the Bible
For as in One body we have many members, and the members don't all have the same function, so we , though many, are one in body in Christ,and individually members one of another. Romans 12:4-5 ESV
Or do you know that your body is the temple for the Holy Spirit within you? You are not your own...1 Corinthians 6:19 ESV
My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret,intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written every one of them, the days that were formed for me,when as of yet there was none of them. Psalm 139:15-16 ESV
Some Correlating Ideas from Andersen
Other people see me not; they see but my body. It is only I who know myself, and this knowledge returns, to me in my health and in the things of my life. Location 4076
Some invisible thinker merely uses the brain as a central reception station for sensory perception. Someone, something, is dwelling in your body, peering through the windows of your eyes, listening at the portals of your ears, using your brain to receive impressions. Invisible, hidden, gowned with your particular form but an instant in the eternity of its being, it uses your body as an idea, then discards it and departs to whence it came. This is immortal Self. Location 4230
I am not body; I am not Conscious Mind; I am not ego. I am sense of Self only, consciousness, awareness, unadulterated being. The presence that animates all life is within me, is altogether the real me. I am using my body for a purpose, as an expression of an idea, and when the idea in fully expressed, through mywork and my mission, I shall return again to unity with universal Self, leaving body and ego behind. I do not confuse my body and my ego with what I truly am. My body in simply an instrument for my expression, and my ego is simply memory of physical experience.Location 4351
Some Correlating Ideas from ACIM
I am not a body. I am free. I hear the Voice that God has given me, and it is only this my mind obeys. ACIM-W-Lesson 199:8:7-9
All is well in my world!
References
ACIM (2007) A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume. Workbook. Foundatins for Inner Peace
Andersen, Uell S.. Three Magic Words . BN Publishing. Kindle Edition.
Eckhart Tolle (September 10, 2020) Looking Through the Disguise. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKQrPuRpW8w
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%20139&version=ESV
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+12%3A1-21&version=ESV
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