Energy and the Body

The higher your energy level, the more efficient your body. The more effecient your body, the better you feel and the more you will use your talents to produce outstanding results. 

Anthony Robbins

The eye is flaring up again.  It started a couple of days ago...second bout I had since the last ophthomalogy visist I had in January.  The other was so minor...a couple of vessicles, swollen lid...nothing much.  I could see clearly. I didn't bother trying to access the system for an antiviral...(the ophthomalogist is gone and I am referred full circle back to the optometrist which I have no problem with...he is smart guy...but man trying to acces the health care system just takes so much out of me...)...anyway...the last bout  went away on its own.  When this one started I convinced myself it would be the same...that whatever I was getting was just affecting the lid and not the cornea, that I could let this go...but the pressure and headache I get with these outbreaks can be so annoying... bad with this one.  It must be a bit of trigeminal irritation or something because of the wisdom tooth issue. Infact the wisdom tooth thing probs caused the cold sore out break on my eye. (Imagine getting cold sores on your eye...the universe must me trying to tell a person something when that happens lol). Everything is just aggravated. I can't help but think it has to do with all this negative energy that is shifting around inside me. 

Sounds crazy... I know...but think about it. Everything is energy.  Electromagnetic energy is the second fundamental force of the universe. The more we realize that scientifically and non scientifically, the more we see the body as an electro magnetic energy field.  Look at the heart...we can't deny that is created on  an electro magnetic  energy field can we?  It is a series of electrical impulses that gets the heart to contract/pump...the valves to open and shut. Look at muscle contraction- all a series of electrical impulses through the calcium ion channels. The energy body is a scientific, physiological thing...not a woo-woo thing. And energy is meant to flow "through" things. If it doesn't have both an entrance and an exit route...it accumulates in the body causing all kinds of problems. (Think of a person being electrocuted. If the person doesn't show an exit route they are said to be holding the charge. Not good!)

We can hold the charge.  If the mind is focusing on and clinging to dense low energy things...the body follows suit. We are holding a negative charge that can wreak havoc within the body. I do believe, through years of repression and suppression we block these negative charges inside us....there are things we didn't allow to pass through. We are throwing the "rest potential" out of whack. So we see body issues. 

Anyway...here I am purposefully attempting to unblock this emotionally lower charged stuff and it is moving around zapping me here ( the wisdom tooth issue), there( the eye issue) and everywhere ( the bone issue, the heart issue, the gut issue, the pelvic issue). So if I am carrying such a charge, everything around me that I touch is going to get a zap (external problematic circumstances)??  It is pretty cool to think of it that way.  Of course, I couldn't go to an optometrist or any allopathic  doctor and say, "Hey, I have n electrical energy issue going on in my Ajna chakra area. I need some exit route created." Or to my suffering loved ones, "Oh...I have to back away,  I am a bit chargey. If get too close to you or your problem, we might all get electrocuted." 

Anyway, I am rambling.  It is all so very good.

The Cloudy Cover of Distraction

 You, not distracted,are seated in the Seat of consciousness.

Michael A. Singer

It's crazy. I have been writing about being in this dark night of the soul for many years now.  I have been getting more and more glimpses of light...more and more periods of sunshine and relief ...more and more  responding rather than reacting to life circumstance...more and more "experiencing life" over conceptually thinking about it and living in story with my committed practice...but man...those clouds are still over my head.  Well, they now seem to be inside my head. They are very distracting.  As long as I am distracted...I am not seated in the Seat. 

I have been practicing kriya yoga for many years...but since I started the energy work that Dr. Sue Morter describes in her book... another dark internal cloud cover emerged  in me that I can not quite understand.  It seems to be dripping into my external life with a series of little "problems"....problems that trigger me and aggravate that feeling of "stuckness" and "I need change" that I have been experiencing for many years now. I know this would sound crazy to most...but I do feel some energy being shifted around within me. These samskaras are rumbling and moving. I must be cleansing and purifying then? 

You would expect...if that were the case... more of a opening up of the cloud cover; more of an acceptance of what is: or more of a lightening of experience...wouldn't ya? 

Yet... I am feeling even less satisfied with my now and my present set of situations than I have been.  I feel stuck and that "stuckness" seems to become more and more pronounced with the  energy work I do. The continuing or changing nature of the dark night of the soul... could be  the "friction" necessary for healing change that the author writes about. Or it could be something altogether different. I don't know. 

What I do know though...is that Life feels a little dark and heavy; energy which might be somewhat negative seems to be dripping all around me.  Little things are going wrong and few things are getting better in external world terms. I am okay with it...detached and watching it all go down. I try to accept it all but I have to be careful not to confuse acceptance with fatal resignation anymore. At the same time, I ask, "Am I supposed to accept this crap?  Or am I being shown it is time for me to take action and change that which could be changed?" 

I question if this is the normal consequence of shifting stuck energy...Is it still there but now  moving around in me...growling and rumbling like gas bubbles? Is it just that it is now in the  uncomfortable process of being released...like the stomach pains and nausea that one experiences before one vomits that which was making them sick ( sorry about the imagery). Or is it because I have put away so many illusions and story lines I was hiding the mess under, peeled away so many protective layers that were kind of hiding from me just how dark my mental sky cover was? Are the samskaras with all their hidden dark energy just clouding my vision as they come to the surface?  Is this just a part of the cleansing process? Or am I just going bonkers? lol

Hmm! I am watching and questioning what I am experiencing.  It all seems so bizarre but so heavy at the same time. Yet, I am okay with it. I  tell myself now that everything I am experiencing is there to help me grow into the being I am meant to be. This is what helps....

"Everything that happens to me in this life is always in my favour and I created it on some higher level of my own consciousness for the purpose of discovering my own magnificence." 

All is well.

Teaching Someone How to Suffer

Teach them how to suffer and therefore how to go beyond suffering.

Eckhart Tolle

At one time...I was a great person to come to when you were suffering emotional pain. I had the skills and the mindset to soothe and make you feel better.  I am not so great for the suffering personality to come to anymore. 

I watch my loved one's suffer now and there is this detachment in me that others may judge as "cold". 

I have put aside much of the  therapeutic communication skills I have learned and taught over the years...and I listen without expression.  That just blows the person speaking away. They look at me expecting the co-miseration, the validation of their circumstances as being the cause for their pain that they have come to expect...but I can no longer give them that. 

I no longer join them in their stories by saying things like, "Oh! That is terrible.  I can't believe that is happening and I am so sorry that is happening to you.  That is so unfair. I understand that it or they were so unjust, unkind, or inconsiderate...no wonder why you are upset etc."  

I listen quietly and attentively but they often say in a hurt defensive voice, "Well!  Can you say something to make me feel better? What's wrong with you? You used to be so empathetic and easy to talk to. " 

I just answer with, "I know you are hurting and I do feel bad that you are suffering." That is honest because  I do still feel the emotional energy of others quite intensely. I might even say if I am brave enough to accept the reaction I will likely get from them, "but maybe you do not need to suffer like this.  Maybe, there is another way of looking at this and responding?"  

If they, so entrenched in their story or in this habitual need to create reasons for their suffering, do not shut me down at that point...I might go on to say, " I understand Life can be difficult and can throw things like this at us.  People, in their unconscious states, can also be difficult to deal with.  That is really hard to handle. It is painful and frustrating. I have learned there is so little we can do about that but there is something we can do about how we respond to it all, how much we let it "ruin our day or our life", and how much we listen to the stories mind creates about it."

I may at that point get, " What?  I can't believe you! I just need some validation for my pain over what has happened...not your  woo-woo philosophies. You are so mechanical and cold lately. Don't you care?"

I will usually sigh then before I respond with, "I do care. I do see your pain and I do know you are hurting but with all my practice I also see there is a way out of this suffering  and that is by going through the pain you are experiencing." 

That usually leads to the loved one shutting down, leaving, or reacting even more dramatically when their ego doesn't get what it wants and expects, which is validation of the story in the form of the listener being sucked into it. 

I see the story so clearly now.  I see the pain and I also see the unnecessary suffering that comes with resistance and attachment to this story.  I see a way through! 

But..often the listener is not ready for that. For example, I often deal with individuals diagnosed with "personality disorders."  I deal with people identified with their suffering.  Personality disorders ( which to me is an oxymoron because I believe merely having a personality is a life disorder....so we all have a personality disorder) express the epitome of what Eckhart Tolle refers to as the "Pain body. " The pain is very real!!! These individuals are suffering and making behavioural choices based on that suffering. They are not yet conscious enough to own what they are doing. The attachment to and the identification with the  pain is even more real.  These individuals seem to see themselves as their pain. They build story to rationalize the pain and to define who they are.  They seem to wear so many "prickly" extra layers of personality defense around the core.

Because of their desperate need for relief from the pain they sometimes , unintentionally, act as big vacuum cleaners sucking everything and everyone around them into their story...into their pain experience. Their idea of the support they need  is "full immersion" into the pain. It is easy to drown in that experience of "help!"For that reason, when they seek the listening ear and show of support they deserve from others, they are often met with some resistance.  I, too, feel the twisting of resistance in my gut on many occasions with the simple quesion, "Can I talk to you?" 

In all fairness, I have given much on the psychological and emotional level.  Over the years, I have spent a great deal of time and energy attempting to understand (reading every book available, talking to experts, talking to them etc) their pain experience and how to best approach it. I also allowed myself to get sucked in again and again in hope that it would help.  I "owned" their experienceof pain on many occassions and I felt like I was drowning in it more than once. I now know this wasn't helping behaviour.  How are we going to help a panicking  someone get to shore  if they drown us in the process?  

I value my energy and my healing practice.  I know that I need to be cautious where I physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually focus my attention.  Where attention goes, energy flows. So, I ask myself before I agree to "talk" , "Am I ready for this right now and what it will mean to my energy reserves?" 

And if I meet resistance and reactivity during a conversation or request for "help", as I often do, I quickly pull back knowing that I don't have to take that energy in.  I don't have to own it.  I remind myself that this is their pain; that the suffering they create because of it is theirs as well.  I am not helping them when I help them to build or sustain their unwholesome and prickly defenses. And I am certainly not helping myself when I keep getting sucked into it. It is too draining of my energy. I have learned to fall back away from their reactivity and my remaining reactivity to their reactivity (as much as I can). I continue to listen quietly. I repeat, "I see you are in pain."  I hug when it is called for, I express my love.

I cannot, however, give their hurting egos what they want.  I know it will do no good in the long run.  Sure, I could temporarily soothe those egos by validating that  their experiences are the sole cause of their suffering...but that would be a lie. Besides, I know those egos would never be satisfied for long. I wouldn't truly be helping them...or myself.  It does me no good, what so ever, to fall into their stories...I have too much story of my own to dismantle and get through. Dealing with story in anyone is so unnecessarily draining and unproductive to our ultimate growth. 

Am I being selfish and uncompassionate? My own ego, which is so inclined to please others and solve problems, will jump in at these times to tell me that I am...but the more I detach from story in self and others, the more I realize that  this is the most compassionate thing I can do.

Sigh! Crazy eh? 

All is well in my world

Eckhart Tolle ( 2023?) Do I Cause My Own Suffering? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEH_3GyfIag

Releasing and Healing

 If we want to heal, we must gain access to the thoughts and emotions that have been pocketed away in the subconscious and release them. 

Dr. Sue Morter

You get that, right?  :) 

All is well.

From Story to Sacred

 In the midst of the manifold [the human experience], he who sees that One; in the midst of the infinite death, he who sees that one life; in the midst of the manifold, he who sees that which never changes in his own soul - unto him belongs eternal peace.

Vivekananda

I read that above passage before going to bed.  It soothed me a bit. I am seeking peace and I know that Self realization (seeing what never changes in my own soul, this 'Chit Shakti') is the path to take. I have been on this path for many years, progressing in increments towards the end goal. It has been a slow, arduous journey full of one challenging test from life after another...for me,(though it isn't this way for all). I can finally see how those stages of incremental growth are coming closer together.  In other words, the journey is speeding up a bit.  I am getting through this stage of the dark night of the soul. Life is plopping wise teachers in front of me. (Well not actually...lol...that would be kidnapping...but through their teachings that show up on my lap or on my computer I am offered a light here and a light there as I stumble along through this night.) I see now the very beginnings of a dawn emerging over the horizon. Thank God!  Because this stage, this  "dark night" is a real pain in the you know what! 

Michael Singer...is a guide and teacher I have been given as a gift to see me through.  Not that I am trying to personalize ownership of him lol (or anything for that matter) but it is like he showed up in this life I call mine for a reason. We are on the same vibrational or intellectual wave length. I think about something, write about or speak about something, as I have done yesterday, and I listen to a podcast and sure enough he is talking about the same thing.  And I get it! I get what he is saying so completely. Sigh!

Chit Shakti

He spoke about Chit Shakti today. He said consciousness (Chit) and energy (shakti) are the same thing. He mentioned how energy flows where attention goes....something I have been writing about for a while now.  I think he said, Where you put your consciousness, you put your energy.

I have been doing energy work as I read Sue Morter's "The Energy Codes".  I have been attempting to get beyond the narrative, the story I create in my mind to the felt experience of where my blocked energies...my samskaras... are stored in my body. I am trying to get beyond the intellectual mind with all its concepts and beliefs to the felt experience of what I have stuffed and stored. I know I simply have to experience what is there for it to be released.  But, of course, there is so much story in the way and my consciousness still gets pulled into the story. I am, however, beginning to see this story telling clearly.

Story in the Way of Shakti

Let me give you a long boring example :): 

I woke up with "bone pain" last night.  My hips, my shins, my thighs were really aching...so much so I couldn't fall back to sleep. My mind noticed the body sensations and automatically went into the story. This is how it was talking to me, "Must be a rebound increase in osteoclastic activity since I went off my osteoporosis meds in preparation for the dental surgery coming up. Hmmm! I was more or less told the infected wisdom tooth should be removed quickly because of the mitral valve issue...don't want Infective Endocarditis. So, out of concern I am referred to a place farther away because it was thought I would get in right away but I get a call telling me I do not even  get a consult visit until June. No one there told me to go off my meds but I had the sense to know I should be off it for a few months before any dental surgery that might expose the jaw to potential problems. So...that means this pain might be a nightly occurance for another few months.  Isn't that wonderful! What about those shins? Been having that pain for so long now but the X-Rays are not showing stress fractures.  Either my pain threshold is not as high as I thought it was or I am a wimp!"

The thought stream started with just analyzing the pain but it quickly progressed to a story about past experiences.

"This is how health seeking goes for me...how it always goes for me. My "pain" means nothing to others.  It is as if no one believes it is real.  What is happening in my body doesn't mean anything to others either, it seems. The system is too busy to care about the likes of me.  Maybe, they just want to make money off me or just get me out of their offices by offering me trinkets. This tooth thing may be absolutely nothing! It might not cause any more problems at all...but can I take that chance?   I had a cardiac surgeon tell me I would have to have my valve replaced or repaired in my sixties.  I am in my sixties. In 2009, I was told that I need a stress echo done yearly...I had one a few years ago and that was the only one I had in fifteen. I am not too concerned about the valve-the murmur comes and goes but if there is any strep or staff floating around in my bloodstream it could decide to  pop a squat on one of those old and extra tired cusps of mine.  My luck...it would but I would never be able to get it diagnosed or treated  because nobody has the time to care.  I am on my own on this health seeking journey.  I cannot depend on others."

I know this  part of the story telling is based on  old conditioning ...a result of many not so great past experiences that I have stored over the decades of my life since I first started noticing  and seeking help for these little problems with my heart.  This part of the story was taking me away from self accountability and into an "other-induced victimhood" wrapped in a good dose of  self pity.  :)

Progressing Back through Layers of Story

I caught myself there and started to bring myself back toward the Self...the Seat of awareness...but I knew I  had many layers of story to get through. I had to travel through the "Oh Woe is me" story line to the part of the story where I realized I was focusing on other responsibility in my victimhood instead of focusing on my own. It was more comfortable to project outward than inward. I told myself it was time to look inward at the mess I (not anyone else)  created in my head.  I went through a series of "You know better.  It was up to you to ask and more or less ensure these tests got done. You are intelligent woman, why didn't you advocate harder for your own health?" 

There was much self deprecation and self- blaming in this layer as the hard question was asked.

This question brought me to exploring some old core beliefs partially buried in the shame body layer. (I say partially buried because I have been digging down there for some time). "Man...I really do not think I am deserving of support for my health care needs, do I? Every time I seek help I do so in shame.  I do so with this voice in my head, "How dare you bother others about your problems." How does one advocate for self with that core belief in them?" 

Then it took me to a sense of more generalized shame and unworthiness at the core of my belief system. I was ashamed to even see that was inside me. Then my redeeming analytical mind kicked in again. It told me it wasn't my fault that I believed this and it proceeded to help me to explore why that belief is there. It took me on a whirlwind of memory-induced story. 

Thank God, I caught myself at that point. I realized the mind was taking me on this story ride as a means of escape from having to experience the feelings and sensations I have stuffed and stored and kept pushing back down for so long.  Intellectual mind, as misguided as it was,  was doing me a solid by trying to keep me from the felt experience of my now.  The story telling  itself was a form of resistance to experiencing the moment, which included the  pain in my physical body and the pain of these old stuffed emotions emerging. 

You are causing your own problems. Stop it!

So, I decided no more resisting, no more closing. I sat up on a cushion to meditate.  I was determined to sit with what is without the story. I breathed focusing on the abdomen rising on the in breath, falling on the out breath and began to relax into the experience of physical pain. I began to relax into that feeling of shame as it came up.  When story came up...and it did again and again...I just said "story" to myself and fell back deeper, away from what the mind was doing. I kept falling back toward the Seat.

Then I did some of the "Central Channel Breathing" that Dr. Sure Morter writes about in her book.  I wanted the channels opened. I wanted Chit Shakti to be able to flow freely and that meant some of those blockages had to be lifted up and out of the way. I breathed like this for several moments. From there I did a bit of her "Generating Love: Choosing to Be Loved" Heart Chakra work....to help transmute this feeling of unworthiness  to a feeling of loving and being loved. 

The tears came as I sat, very gently like a soft cleansing rain. I felt lighter.

I fell deeper back away from the story until there was no story.  I knew I wasn't my story or my thoughts.  I wasn't this core belief that had dominated my life for so long.  I wasn't this feeling of shame or unworthiness.  I was the conscious energy that was watching it all go down. 

When I finished the meditation, the pain in the body was still there but I was able to sleep through it. Hmmm!

Learning From the Story Building Tendency

I learned a lot about  the "story" so many of us are all tangled up in, last night. I spent some years studying psychology and psychology is all about understanding the story of "me". It attempts to help us "through" it while we reamin "in" it. I thought for so long that I had to work my way through the story of my life, while in the story of me, to heal.  Even last night...I was working my way through the layers  back to Self. Now I know differently.  

Conscious energy will get pulled into that story and when it does we start to believe the narrative and see ourselves as the protagonist in it. We are not the story nor are we the protagonist in that story. We are that which exists behind that which we are focusing on.

Spirituality takes us beyond the story to the One that is listening.  

You are chit shakti...conscious energy

Dr. Sue Morter teaches that we do not have to process through story to heal. We can go directly to the energy pattern that needs to shift and be released through the body. She too emphasizes that it all just energy crying to be released so Shakti (though she might not use that term) can flow through. I could have bypassed the story altogether last night and gone directly to the energy center in the body needing to be shifted. 

Energy flows where attention goes...is a little mantra I repeat often to myself to remind me to be mindful of what I am focusing on. I think I might like this one from Michael Singer more:

I am where my consciousness is.

"I am" is the sacred Self within. It is consciousness.  It is energy.

What is even more comforting is this

Ultimately consciousness will stop staring away from itself and settle back into itself.

That is what I experienced last night with my conscious intention to remove my attention away from story; to take it from the object of consciousness to consciousness.  

So much of human suffering has to do with being tangled up in a story that keeps us trapped and bound in that which doesn't serve; in a story we created. We are not the stories we tell ourselves.  We are that which is behind them. We are the sacred "I am."

It is chit shakti because consciousness and energy are the same thing!...You're it!

We can fall back into being It!  Or we can stay stuck and bound in our stories.  What do you believe would serve us and the world best?

He who knows he is free is free; he who knows that he is bound is bound. Vivekananda

All is well.

Dr. Sue Morter (2019) The Energy Codes. Atria: New York.

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( May 1, 2025) Chit Shakti: The Unity of Consciousness and Energy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jymAbYx9jGU&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=1

Vivekananda, Complete Works, Kindle Edition. 

Measuring Maturity

 The measure of your maturity is in how spiritual you become in the midst of your frustrations. 

Samuel Ulman

According to many spiritual masters, we can measure our progress on this spiritual path by how much things that used to bother us so much bother us now. I had a little test yesterday when I spilled tea on my computer.  Not thinking it was much  I wiped it off and left my laptop where I usually leave it...and went to work.  When I came home and sat down to write...which is the thing I feel so compelled to do all the time...it started to short circuit on me a bit and kept shutting off. Then it suddenly went all black. I knew then it was more than a bit of tea that landed inside my computer. I knew my computer might be in trouble!

At that moment I had a choice: to react in the way I have been conditioned to react, or to respond spiritually to this situation and its possible outcome. 

 Normally, I would have instantly panicked and jumped around screaming, "OMG!  All my work is on that thing...all my years of writing and what not! So much of "me".... I might have lost it all! If this computer doesn't work I don't know what I will do! I need to write!!Why does the universe always punish me so??" I would have been in a very negative frenzy!!

But...I didn't react in that way.  

I certainly felt a bit of worry and fear in the core of my gut. I certainly acknowledged what the worse case ssenario would mean. But I also took a deep breath to remind myself that I have  been operating most of my life by listening to ego and that I don't want to do that anymore. I knew that I have a conditioning in me - a core belief...that tries to prove itself with every challenge I experience. It tries to convince me that "What can go wrong will go wrong in my life...that things will not work out...that the universe must be telling me I am not meant to write...I am not good enough anyway."  I reminded myself that it was just a belief that I adhered to already too much in my life and do not have to listen to it now. I told myself that it is just F.E.A.R. ( false evidence appearing real) . I reminded myself how much this  F.E.A.R. has taken me from experiencing life fully and freely. I reminded myself  that I am now committed to truth rather than my conditioning, that I am committed  to a new way of being. That beingness involves letting go of my attachment to outcome, to the "personality" I define myself as...and means building trust that Life has my greater good in mind. I looked at this possible loss as another opportunity to grow in this faith and truth.

I also reminded myself in those few moments I was calmly picking up my laptop and placing it in rice that though I love to write...I am not just a "writer"...I am so much more than my writing.  If the universe is telling me that writing is in the way of me becoming that which "I am" then so be it. I will listen. I knew what was really important and that was deeper than my computer, or my writing.

I then spent the rest of the day with this compulsion in my gut to write, knowing that I couldn't.  It left me feeling a bit ancy and bored, finding it hard to sit still.  I just kept reminding myself of the above until the feeling went away. I had to do that often.

Then, finally at some point,  I forgot all about the computer, went about my business until bedtime. I meditated a couple of extra times because I had more time to spare. I woke up this morning and proceeded to take the laptop out of the box to turn it on ...without an ounce of concern about the outcome.  Somehow, I knew it would be okay. ...or at least, I would be okay with whatever.  And it was! I was!

Wow! Here I am writing on my laptop.

Yeah,  this little experience showed me that though I still may be stumbling around in the  "dark night of the soul" stuff on this lag of the journey...I am progressing. I am maturing. Infact, the momentum is picking up. I am beginning to move a lot faster toward the light.  Pretty cool.

All is well in my world! 

Religions All Pointing to the Same Thing

 

The deeper they see is what makes one holier than another. Worship is feeling the holiness of God.

Vivekananda, Complete Works ...2.7.3

In 1894 Vivekananda travelled around the US and Europe giving what he called "The Harmony of Religions" lectures.  Though he had great national pride and preference for the Hindu teachings and the Indian way of life, he basically taught people that it doesn't matter how you get there ...as long as you get there. And...even back then...he was received well.  Decades later, Yoganada followed in his footsteps and was received by the "spiritualistic" mindset of the US then, even better. 

People, I believe ( and what do I know?) inherently know that religion is a just pointer and all pointers are basically pointing to the same thing whether they claim to be or not. 

Anyway...I thought that was cool.

All is well in my world. 

Nature of Reality

 The true nature of reality is non local and non temporal....Both the object of consciousness and the subject of consciousness are consciousness.

Thich Nhat Hanh

Just listening to the Buddhist perspective on consciousness.

All is well!

Thich Nhat Hanh/Plum Village ( Published in 2025/ filmed in 2009?) The Buddhist Understanding of Reality. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0YKfiFBt80

Illusion or Reality

The world in reality is an illusion; albeit, a very persistent one...

Einstein

Heard  the similarity of thought between Michael A. Singer and Tom Campbell from my morning listen today. Like Campbell...he explains what we are looking at as computed pixels.  Everything we are experiencing with sensations is some form of an illusion. He didn't use the word "simulation" but it was similar.

There is a world in your mind that is able to render things...

Mind is a vibration field that has no limit ...an infinite  field of energy that can create thoughts.

Singer explains we perceive what we think is real because the mind interprets it as such. We touch what we believe is solid...but it really is not solid. We are touching the electromagnetic repulsion of the electrons circulating around the atoms that make up that object and then we perceive we are doing the sensing. 

We become so attached to our objects of consciousness...lost in them that we come to believe we are them.  This "me"...this personal mind...this self concept we identify as (that we just created in our minds)... becomes the greatest object of consciousness. We become so identified with this object...that we spend the rest of our life trying to make it comfortable and to protect it from discomfort.

You have a program in your mind called the "personal program" that runs inside you all the time...

Your universal set is not so universal...It is personal. 

Every experience you had is statistically insignificant...

With this beuatiful thing called mind...you built this tiny little subset 

Whose looking?...the end user

Do you know whose in there? Most of us don't cuz we are too busy staring at our self concept...

You are not just the human...you are not the event...you are the experiencer of the event

Now you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.

If you are the sum of your learned expereinces, you did not exist before you had them

The sum of your learned experiences are meaningless...they are not the truth...they just seem like the truth to you...

Your ego is not the truth

You are one of 8.3 billion and of billions of more who came and went already...and soon you won't be here either...

The truth is you are the Self...You are the consciousness

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( April 28, 2025) Let It Be: The Path to Inner Freedom. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oX3lVvFsaJc&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=2

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True. ( April, 2025) Beyond the Self Concept: Re-turning to Spiritual Truth. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMlp7D67Je4&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=3

Is This a Simulation?

 

Consciousness is awareness with a choice...

Thomas Campbell

The following is just some information I have gathered from listening to Thomas Campbell speak with Tevin Naidu on the Mind Body podcast.  It was a very interesting three plus hour video with sooo much information in it that I could not include all I picked up.  To be honest, I also get a little lost when others talk about the "physics" of the matrix and computer system analogies so I may have skipped such sections a couple of times.  Otherwise I held on and was fascinated. Even though I did do exactly as he says many others do when they listen to his My Big Toe Theroy (Theory of everything)...I found myself resisting and pushing away his theory as being invalid when he mentioned that the consciousness system wasn't God because it wasn't omniscient, omnipresent, or omnipotent.  It didn't jell with what I would usually say  I know to be true when simply it simply butted heads with a belief I cling to.  Interesting. 

Anyway, the following may or may not be in full quotation. I may ahve paraphrased most of it. I would encourage that you have a listen yourself to what he had to say...before reading my interpretation.  And that is all this is, my intrepretation. 

• Consciousness is an information system. It gets input that it interprets into informations based on what it already knows...in a pattern match
• He mentioned this in another podcast but I felt inclined to share it here. He tells the story of how the indigineous people of Mexico didn't know the Spaniards were coming onto shore because they literally could not see the big ships. The big ships or anything like them were not in their pattern match (in the data banks of collective memory) so they couldn't interpret them. Consciousness then computed that they didn't see them. Consciousness can choose to interpret or turn off a stimuli. \
• We choose what we interpret...if we intrpret   therefore we have free will
• The trio consists of consciousness, free will, and time. They all have to consist together. You couldn't have a choice without time...You couldn't have consciousness (the choice to interpret or the choice of how you interpret) without free will
• Materialism is the opposite of this view point. It is determinististic, seeing the world operating by predetermined rules and lawas, making it very predictable. If you believe this you have to believe that consciousness, time, and free will are illusions. This view creates a weak argument against consciousness but materialistic scientism is a belief that is inherent in western culture.
• At one time prior to science the world was living in subjectivity governed by the intuitive mind and by "unproven beleif" in that which could not be seen or explained logically. Then science came along to argue against that model, proposing a need to "prove" what people were believing
• Science says reality is only that which can be measured....if it can't be measured it isn't real
• Most human action and expereince, however, occurs in the subjective (the felt experience) not the objective world....
• Campbell proposes that it is a computed world, that space doesn't actually exist, that space like mass is not fundamental. This explains entaglement to some degree.
• We are living in a matrix
• The speed of light is not a constant it is changing at the 9th decimal points
• Delta x/Delta t...think of pixels... the speed of light will move one pixel per one measurement of time
• Our reality is pixulated...it is digital and we can change the resolutions...make the pixels bigger
• What is time?  It is the outer loop..the delta t 
• The conscious clock is much greater than the clock in our virtual experience here on earth
• The delta t was set to be whatever it had to be to give a certain resolution. The system had to keep the resolution low so it seems like it is a continous motion but the resolution changes as we evolve...
• Time has been set at Delta t and it can be changed...lower it and then you need to lower x too or else you will change the speed of light,
• Readiness potential?...arm tissue will actually demonstrate that it is ready to move prior to the  brain even realizing it is about to command a move. 
• Everything paranormal takes part in the intuitive side of conscsiousness
• There is a probable future based on probability distribution of the possibilities
• We can make models as accurate as you want 
• It takes a random draw from the possibilities in the probability distribution based on what is already know from the past to have an occurence
• Cooperation evolves complexity...
• Everything is love...love is the nature of a low entropy consciousness 
• Low entropy consciousness ( orderly, organized ) is waht the end goal is
• The Buddha said the physical reality is just an illusion...Plato said what we are expereincing as reality are just shadows on the cave wall...
• Campbell stresses that consciousness is fundamental and we are subsets of thatt consciousness.  The system would like us to do better because as we lower our entropy, it lowers Its, because we are a part of it. 
• If you bully and co-erce...you just make things worse
• Free will is sacred...we need to make our own choices...
• Angry Gods grow up [old testament] and learn that love is the answer [new testament]
• Your intent modifies future possibility [as seen as in placebo effect]
• Is the larger consciousness system really God?  He says he doesn't use that term "God"...he doesn't believe the system is omniscient...omnipresent or omnipotent...it is not eternal
• Many would say the larger consciousness system is a good model for "God"...if you are not too ridid and dogmatic in your religious beliefs you might see it like that
• He does believe love is the answer and that we are all one...
• He refers to everything he speaks about or writes abouts as just concepts...use them as you will
• I have proved that a larger consciousness system exists...if you wnat to use that word [God] that is up to you...
• The only thing that is "real" is consciousness...derived from information
• Consciousness is fundamental...information is real
• States wedon't actually need math to create  or prove scientific logic
• A new paradigm is hard to get your head around...people find it hard to accept
• Telvin says it is like "microdosing with idealism" ...taking logical steps into a different framework
• Science be approached with rational logic and the putting away of assumptions
• Agood model for undersatnding consciousness should have nothing to do with whther or not it lines up with what  we already believe.
• The big picture is not mathematical...its logic
• If you try to understand consciousness with mathematics it isn't going to work. 
• Reality is consciousness
• Most people don't think they have beliefs...they see their beliefs as facts...that is why we need to get rid of beliefs...they may feel the "facts" are being argued against when it is just their beliefs being tested. They may then shut down to these new possibilities.
• Be skeptical...The person you have to be most skeptical about is yourself. 
• Models are always open for change
• You can, through consciousness, modify physical reality but you can not modify consciousness through physical reality.
• Consciousness doesn't get hungry ...it is just the player...the avatar it is playing may be hungry
• The body will adapt to the consciousness...consciousness leads, body follows
• As we grow up and evolve ( become more aware of consciousness) our biology changes.
• He explains depression as a result of a negative attitude and self-deprecation that is carried  in the consciousness...the body stops producing enough serotonin and other feel good neurotransmitters....
• It is the attention on the uncertainity...insceurity...self loathing etc that changes the body etc 
• We  are more likely to heal cancer before we are given information that something is cancer.ous...say before we get teh diagnosis and prognosis. We can modify the probablity....but if we are told it is cancer it is harder to heal it...the probablity for that prticular outcome is greater
• Healthy mind, healthy body.
• The consciousness that is playing this character [this human I call 'me'] doesn't come with history from the previous incarnation...All there is the quality of consciousness earned to that point when we incarnate into this body...clean slate.
• All consciousness is netted...if you have an intent to share a person's mind you can connect and see what they see...even when they die. This is a skill anyone can learn...getting information from another's experience.
• He explained what happens after death in pretty much the same way I have heard it before but he explains that most of that too is a simulation used to calm the attached and believing mind down. People who beleive in the need for movement...will see a tunnel. Those who believe or need connection with familiarity will see loved ones that pass on ...those are attached to fear based religious beleifs may see hell just until they are calmed down.  He dis say we go through a processing and are then ready to choose another life [I like this idea of prebirth choice...it soothes me for some reason. I like to think I chose everything I am experiencng now.]
• On skepticism, he wants people to be skeptical...He says it has to be your experience to be truth. We need to put away intellect though, and foster the intuitive mind...that is where teh paranormal is.
• We can try practicing with mind to mind communication. We can meditate or quiet the mind, From there, we can go talk to another person we might be having some conflict with. Virtually, we can just share the way we feel and brainstorms ways to improve the situations. They will talk back...We must be nice and respectful. He says the more we practice the easier it gets.
• We also need to find stuff that is evdential ...talk to dead person and get info that you can verify
• There is lot of room between 0 and 1: 0 being "I don't believe a thing that you said"...and 1 being," Yes, I believe it allwithout any doubt."
• Talked about the Fermi paradox 
• We need to develop  our intuitive side, which was more developed when we were three than it is now. 
• All paranormal stuff is on the intuitive side.

Wow! A Lot of information. Please check out the podcast for yourself.

Mind Body Solution (August 27, 2023) Tom Campbell: Are We Living in a Simulation? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkRLKPNscDI&t=15s

Choices

 Life isn't about making the right choice. It is about the learning.  Make a choice and learn from it!

Tom Campbell PHd, author of My Big Toe: Theory of Everything

I was thinking about choices yesterday after speaking to a very wise woman who offered me the words, "Just do what lets the light in."  

As I mentioned many times, I always felt a bit "incomplete" because I never had my many years of ongoing education wrapped up in pretty degree ribbons. (Over nine years and I only have one degree). I could have two other undergraduate degrees right now if I tied up some loose ends. I could also resume my masters and possibly go on farther.   It is also my "hope" ( if I dare use that word)  to pursue educational certifications for this new path I somehow landed on of tutoring/teaching English as an additional language. 

That's the  "dream".

Why do I not just go ahead and do this? 

There are all kinds of logistical reasons...reasons that prevented me from continuing on with this educational path when I first begun it. Money is a big one! Health is another.  Then there is a big neon"needed elsewhere" sign flashing over my head.  These were the things that pulled me from this path in the first place. I got stuck in these reasons. They are still legitimate reasons. Do I have the strength to pull myself from their muddy grasp? If I can and do, will they be the only "reasons" holding me back? 

No! There is this question of why do I really want these things....that makes this choice making difficult. I want everything I do to be motivated by higher level energy and deeper stuff. You know?  Will it be higher Self or lower self making this choice? Did I pursue this educational path in the first place for "pure reasons." No! I began with the intention of redeeming myself from shame.  Redeemer ego was simply stepping up to quiet Shamer down by convincing this "me" that it would feel better about itself if it could say it had higher levels of education than others.  A few extra degrees would help to build  a better "protective personality".  Redemption from a sense of unworthiness certainly was one of the biggest motivators for me to seek more education years ago. Is that still the reason I want this?  Am I still being motivated by ego's need to redeem itself? 

The answer to that is , "I don't know!"  Possibly, for sure.  I may also be grasping and clinging for some external light as I plummet deeper into this confusing dark night of the soul. Even though I know...like at the deepest level now...that nothing 'out there' is going to give me the stable ground I long for...I still grasp. 

Regardless, it is true having more degrees would help "me" to feel better about "me". I am still thinking about "me".

Is there any "practical" reason for wanting this? Yeah...it would help make what I did with the language learning  book more promotional and valid. Not that I am trying to promote this book but if I want to help others by making this approach more accessible I could use some certifications and initials behind my name. (Shamer is kind of nodding his head, whispering in the background, "Yeah! You better verify that you had a right to write that book!" ) I also  have some physically doable job possibilities I want to explore in which some of these educational papers are required. So, there is a chance...as small as it may be and not enough to sway me either way...that it could pay for itself in the long run.  (Or maybe not...maybe I will slip farther into unrepayable debt...Sigh, Who knows?)

What about deeper or higher level reasons?  Hmm! Sometimes I think having certain intials behind my name will make this teaching form more credible so what I do here reaches more people. ("Do you really want or need to reach more people? Why would anyone want what you teach and write?" Shamer chimes in again. I am learning to smile at Shamer when it makes these comments and walk away. I realize it is noisier and louder only because it is fighting to survive in an environment that no longer believes it.) The idea of promoting myself isn't comfortable to "me"  but I do feel compelled to write more on this stuff and get what I have already written published and out there in case others would benefit. The initials would definitely help with that!

And when I think about the process of studying and learning, I get butterflies in my belly. It lifts me up.  I feel excited. I sense a bit of light shining into this dark night. Of course, my Shamer ego who has not quite left the building yet, will call out over its shoulder as it rolls its suitcases to the door, "It's just a dream. Without me there will be no need for dreams."

"It's just a pipe dream."

I do not want to focus on any possible future outcome as a strategy for dealing with my present moment. I don't want to get lost in a dream to the point that I am not embracing the reality of my now...but I feel light entering my now space when I think about studying again. I am not sure if the light is coming from the inside or the outside. The question is, does it matter? Light is light!

 I so love to learn...formally and informally. Thinking about pursuing other goals, I feel lifted energetically.  Lighter. I feel the space around me brightening up. I am not so squished in this dark night of the soul. I have not forgotten what is truly important. I know where I am heading...but the light this human needs might come from this pursuit. I think I made up my mind. I am making a choice to pursue my education.

Even if I go ahead and fall flat on my face financially, physically, and academically...that's okay. (At least, I don't have far to fall lol). 

It isn't about making the "right" choice, after all...it is all about the learning that we undergo with each choice we make. I want to learn!

Just do what lets the light in!...

and

learn, learn, learn...

All is well in my world!

Let the Light In

Just do what lets the light in!

 I have a conundrum when it comes to balancing my spiritual needs with my human needs as I partake on this journey of Self-realization. Basically, I know I do not want to serve the "me" with its outward grasping for the things it thinks will make it happy and it’s pushing away of the things it believes will disturb it.  I do know, at some deep level, that is not how it works.

Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added onto you. Matthew 6:33

Happiness, love, peace, fulfillment etc. come from the inside. The essence of who we are, Sat Chit Ananda (Existence/Consciousness/Bliss) or the Kingdom of God ...is like a light shining from the core of who we are. This light is encapsulated in a body and mind. Our potential for experiencing the full extent of this inner light ...is covered up with layers and layers of protective and adaptive personality. 

Why?

As lights/souls/higher consciousness...whatever you wish to describe it...we find ourselves on a planet full of ever changing and moving phenomenon.  Life happens around us and to us...as it is meant to do. As beings encapsulated in body and mind, we experience and try to make sense of the events that are unfolding around us: the environments we are in, the family situations;illness, deaths,births and new beginnings...hardships and blessings. All of Life's many unfolding’s are meant to enter our experience and blow right through. We are meant to be these big open vessels for Life to experience Itself through. But they don't pass right through, do they? Things get stuck inside us.

Why do they get stuck?

Somewhere along the line we begin to use the mind to label and judge our experiences.  Some of these experiences that unfold in front of these forms we are in and get more and more attached to, the personal mind judges as "pleasant" because they create a certain energy experience as they pass through our senses. Maybe they tickle, or are soothing, or create a feeling of euphoria in the body. The mind jumps in as a response to those sensations to say, "This feels good! So, this is good!  I want more of than!” The mind then begins to generate emotions related to that experience...excitement and hope...and a sense of possibility.  It uses the body and these emotions to begin looking to the external world for that which will create more of these sensations and emotions.

When something from Life passes through the senses creating a sensation that is painful or heavy...or tense...however…the body and the mind together might make a judgement, "This feels very unpleasant!  I don't like this. I don't want to experience this again!" The mind begins to generate emotions of repulsion, fear, anger, resentment etc. It begins to use the body and its emotions to actively resist such experiences.  Instead of staying open to the experience, it closes. Well, it thinks it closes.  Life is going to attempt pass through us if we are consciously willing it to or not. It is going to come in one way or the other. But if we do not deal with it as it enters the emotionally charged energy around the event will be suppressed or repressed becoming a knot in our physical and mental experience of life. We have created what yoga refers to as a samskara.

We collect these good and bad experiences and begin to label them as what we like and don't like. Thus, the formation of the personality/psyche begins. Its noise becomes very distracting and so all consuming. We tend to focus all our attention and energy on it.   We have essentially formed the first layer around the body and mind. From its formation we begin to see it as who we are. It becomes the "me"....and we develop an intense need to protect it. We begin a lifelong search of the external world for the things that will serve this ‘me’...and we also do whatever we can to manipulate external factors, so they don't disturb it. “Serve not disturb” is ‘me’s’ demand that we so obediently follow.

As we progress through life and as it unfolds around us, we continue to experience things that the mind judges as pleasant and things the mind judges as unpleasant. Because we have already created some knots with this liking and disliking...this grasping for what we want and this pushing away of what we don't want… the layers around the light of who we truly are get thicker and thicker. Our personality gets bigger. Those things we really, really didn't like or couldn't let pass through like trauma, for example, become the dominant traits in this personality development...and the things we really, really like and want more of become the drive of our personality. We focus the Self ‘out there’ to protect and serve the personality, who we believe ourselves to be, as well as the mind and body. The more we give the personality wants, the more it needs and demands.  The more we get what the personality doesn't want, the more we close. We forget there is a light inside us...a light from which true joy and happiness come. Grasping, Clinging, pushing away becomes an endless drama.

Our focus is directed from the personality and the body mind layer outward.

As a yogi I want to turn that focus in the opposite direction. I have learned that we really do not want "me" to get what it wants because it will keep us stuck on this focus direction outward.  I want, instead, to get to the light of who I am.  In order to do that, I have to go through many layers, from the outside in. I need to look deeply into these layers, become aware of how they are in the way, and I have to be willing to let them dissolve away. This "noticing and looking deeply" will dissolve each layer, if it is done with compassion and understanding.

I have already dug so far. I am now stuck, it seems, on a certain layer. I feel somewhat squished between heavy external life events on one side and the heavy emotional energies I am unleashing here from the graves I buried them in on the other. I can’t see much light.

 At this point of the inward excavation, I am not happy with the things that once fulfilled me because I see how insignificant they are…I don’t have false attachment anymore. I am not 100% happy in my relationship at the same time I know my relationship is not responsible for my happiness or lack of. I am not happy in this situation I am in, in this house and family situation but again I know these things are not responsible for my lack of happiness. I am not happy with my lack of money and at the same time I know having money probably wouldn’t make me any happier. These circumstances are just triggering something already inside me wanting to come up and out. It is not a “pleasant” experience for the body and mind or what remains of my personality. I want to feel better but my once effective go-to doesn’t work for me anymore.  I don’t operate on hopes and dream. I no longer escape into a future focus because I learned that doesn’t work in the long run. I want to accept where I am now as I go deeper and deeper rather than allowing this “me” to pull me farther and farther away from what is really important.

My conundrum is that though I see the personality or the “me” as being in the way of my true happiness, and though I know that my inner world is more important than my outer, my external world is still pounding down on me, taking my attention away from my inward mission. My circumstances do not always seem conducive to this process of going inward... I still go. I also see as I debride through the layers that some pretty nasty emotional stuff is being uncovered. I feel sandwiched between the challenges of the external world and the challenges of this inward mission. Sigh.

Still, I continue to peel away the layers…or at least allow them to get peeled away by Life. The personality people once knew me by…say a successful career woman on a higher educational path, a writer, speaker with a good income...mother of four...in a fit body was a shell hiding who I really was. That was my Redeemer ego. When that was stripped away, I found myself in another false layer of who I thought I was…then another…and another. All these layers serve at the time in some way, but they served the adaptive and protective personality not the true Self.  

Well now I realize I am down to shamer ego full of a lot of core beliefs based on trauma messaging and it is nasty lol. As I pull away layers, I am feeling the feelings I stuffed that became knots in me...at the same time I have these external events pounding down on me. Squished! Stuck! Yuck!

I know that the only way out of this is through. I need to get to the center of who I am. I need to remove, or allow to be removed, layer and layer of "me". But I feel stuck, and I cannot see where I am going. It is dark in here.

Where I am right now is not a good feeling place. People refer to it “as the dark night of the soul.”  Though I know it is a part of the process, and I do accept it, I fear, sometimes, it will overwhelm me. I need some light, some joy, some inspiration to trickle through. Just enough to keep me going. Hope and dreams belong to the outward direction approach not the inward. I need the “felt experience” of something powerful and positive to be my light.

As I was sharing this conundrum with someone today…they offered these words.  “Just do what lets the light in”. The moment I heard them…I knew they were to be my mantra. …helping me to move from this place of stuck-ness to the light within. It isn’t like we are supposed to “do nothing” to serve the human as we progress on this journey inward.  This human is what needs the light...the light of who we are. It isn't easy being human. 

We just need to remember where that light comes from…not out there but in here.  Sometimes, however, things from the external world can act as laser beams that penetrate through the layers so the light can shine through.  Find those things and take part in those actions that let the light shine through as you continue digging deeper to the Light within you.

All is well!

Note: I used images from a search for "free images and clip art". Hope I am not stepping on toes!

Removing the Fearful 'Me' So Life Can Blow Through

 

Perhaps Life works better when we stop resisting it.

What if  everything you are going through...every twist , every turn, every so-called mistake  is not random at all?

What if Life isn't happening to you but through you? 

Alan Watts

Hmm! I conceptualize the above statement perfectly.  I believe that Life is just blowing through this "me". I believe that to be true with every ounce of belief making juice I have inside me. It makes perfect sense to my yogic and intellectual mind. More than anything...I WANT to believe it!!

But do I actualize it? Do I "live in this truth"?  Do I have the 'felt experience' of complete non-resistance, trust and openness for Life to just flow through?  Do my external experiences and environment reflect that truth?

Nope! I am still closing.  I am still flinching away with a protective hand up over my face in reaction to  many of  the external events that unfold in front of this human I call "me".  I still feel like I am being punished by life. I am still reacting  and feel a need to protect myself. Who is this 'my self' that I am trying to protect?

'My'is a posessive pronoun used to explain something that belongs to 'me'. Then there is 'self' with a little 's' referring to the ego/ the psyche/ the personality/ the seperate mind/body entity. As long as that is there with its its white knuckled fists pulling the door shut...how are we, as Self,  going to let Life just pour through us? The attention on 'myself' keeps us stuck in this notion that life is happening to us. 

How then do we get this fearful, traumatized 'me' to step back away from the door. Do we yell at it and yank it away?   Of course, not.  That will only scare it, traumatize it farther and make it resist even more.We squat down to its level like we would do with a child; gentlyexplain what is happening in terms it understands; remind it that we will all be better off if we keep the door open so Life can just blow through becasue that is Life's mission and our mission is to allow it to; and then make it excited by saying, "We get to watch the parade! It will be so awesome and cool!" Then we gently take the now relaxed, calm, and willing child out of the way so Life can happen through us.

Sigh! 

All is well.

The Journey Back to Existence/Knowledge/Bliss

 "I am neither the body, nor the organs, nor am I the mind; I am Existence, Knowledge, Bliss absolute; I am He."  This is true knowledge; all reason and intellect, and everything else is ignorance. Where is knowledge for me, for I am knowledge itself! Where is life for me, for I am life itself! I am sure I live, for I am life, the One Being, and nothing exists except through me, and in me, and as me.

Vivekananda on the Advaita...2.6.13, Complete Works 

Spiritual evolution is all about coming back to this knowing, 

Just reality unfolding and consciousness experiencing it.Michael Singer

How close to this realization, are you?   Knowing that can determine how spiritually evolved we are. 

Sometimes we think we are more evolved than we are.

Yoganada once had a devoted follower who was a famous opera singer named Amelita Galli-Curci.  The story goes that after he told all his followers that true freedom and entry into "heaven" would come only when there was no more desire, Amelita said she was convinced that she was free of all desire. "I will enter heaven". He then asked her what she thought heaven would be like. She answered that she thought it would be full of beautiful music and she would be able to sing everyday.  Yogananda told her that for that reason, St Peter would send her away. She was still seeing herself as seperate...with seperate desires...a body that sings. Her idea of heaven was so small in comparison of what that spaciousness is. 

Singer reminds us that most us devote our lives to our ego...the seperate self.  We descended down here to experience it all but we miss it every time....because mind sees itself as seperate and develops individual desires, We believe life should be the way we want.

Spiritual evolution is all about letting go of this 'self.' and its puny desires... so we can expereince the unconditional love of who we are. 

Unconditional love is love that never stops, according to Michael a Singer.

Yoganada also told us we must learn to Love the love behind the human love.

We need to remember who we are...That is spiritual evolution! 

Cease to be a seperate being...that is dying to be reborn. Michael Singer

All is well!

 Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( April 24, 2025) The Journey Back to Self: The Path of Spiritual Evolution. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4hm_O4uzqc&list=PLyOuAoSmZkKoESr2acNWwhznusbBkKXsT&index=3

Prioritizing Family

 

Never forget, your family should always have priority over your work. 

Mary Kay Ash

My daugher was sick with the stomach flu, and my three year old grandson was looking like he might be too.  Her significant other was away and she needed help.  She was too ill to meet the needs of her child healthy, let alone if he was sick.  Of course, I went there after work yesterday, staid as long as I could...went home for a few hours before I had to make a choice:  Call in the next day and go back over to spend the night in case help was needed or see how they make out on their own. When I checked in at nine I realized she was too ill to get my grandson ready for bed.  I was going to go over and knew I had to call in the next day because I wasn't sure what kind of night we would have. Thank God, I called in because I slept very little.

 Prioritizing family is not always as easy as it seems.  Sometimes other varibles in the form of questions come in like: Can I, and those dependent on me, do without the income if I stay home to help? What if I get sick and have to delay my upcoming dental surgery which could have greater negative effects (if they ever call for an appointment that is)? Maybe, others need this "helping" opportunity more than I do?  Maybe they would be received better? How irresponsible does another sick day make me look in the eyes of my employer and team? My students need me? (That, I know, is ego talking lol...my work role is not taht significant) Is my professional image more important than being there for my family? 

As a human in the smaller social pack: family, I am just one small cog that makes the wheel go around. In  the larger social pack: school system, community, city, nation etc...I am even smaller ...sigh! So, in such situations we need to ask, "Where am I needed most and how much will my presence as such and such be missed?" 

 This "I" in the question is the physical body and mind with its unique set of skills, traits, and  connections with those that might need the help or those who will be missing out on the help. Too often ego confuses us when it steps in with, "I need to be needed! Where do I, as ego, get best served when this body and mind serve?" 

Of course, those are not wholesome reasons for helping....but as far as cogs go...maybe we need to look at where our cog is needed most. How will the missing cog, we represent, affect the entire wheel? 

I don't know...I am rambling in my sleep deprived state...lol

All is well! (Hope...all, including this body, stay well)

Taking a Turn

 Our bodies are simply little whirlpools in the ocean of matter. Life is taking a turn and passing on....The sun, the moon, the stars, you and I are mere whirlpools....everywhere we are One...That is what we never understand. The whole [universe] is composed of time, space, causation...

Vivekananda...2.6.14: The Goal Practical Vedanta and Other Lecture...Complete Works...Kindle Edition

All is Well!

Pope Francis

From my point of view, God is the light that illuminates the darkness, even if it doesn't dissolve it,and a spark of divine light is within each of us. 

Pope Francis

 I believe Pope Francis emanated that light and lived by it. His light will be missed on this Earth, not just by Roman Catholics but by all. He set an example of how humans should "be"....of  unconditional love and acceptance.  Many sensed an open, evolved, and loving human being in his form.

It is very fitting that he died on the holiest weekend on the Catholic calendar.

All is well. 

Beyond Ego's Belief Addiction

Remember, we see the world not as it is but as we are. Most of us see through the eyes of our fears and our limiting beliefs and our false assumptions. 

Robin S Sharma ( The Monk Who Sold is Ferrari)

Thinking about core beliefs and about how what we tend to believe and percieve impacts our expereince of life. Most of us see the world through the eyes of the fear/shame based neurotic ego.  I know I do.

 When we do this, Sue Morter tells us we are still caught up in what she refers to as the Stage 1: The Stage of victimhood where we see life as happening to us and believe we can't have any impact...feel a strong sense of fatalsim and resignation....The paradigm is characterized by anger, fear,hopelessness, helplessness, resignation, fatalism. struggle to survive , and the like. We act according to what we perceive. We receive what we consistently perceive. What gets me the most about this perspective is that most of us don't even know we are unhappy and that there is another way to be. (page28)

We may advance from this stage, as I and many of you have, to some degree by setting out to redeem ourselves (the ego) by fixing our outer personnas and the world out there so it makes us feel better in here. This is what Sue Morter calls Stage 2: The Self-Help Stage. In this stage we work hard to heal what we believe is wrong, missing, or even broken within us or in others, and strive to be happier. (page 29). I spent most of my adult life in this stage, with a few slips back to Stage One. 

Michael A. Singer tells us that we are still trapped in egoic ways when we are in Stage two living by this mantra:

Let's make the ego believe what we all say we should believe? 

Michael Singer also reminds us that we are not yet seeing truth when we are stuck in these stages. Both are of ego. We are still building samskaras and reacting to their triggers. We are not truly seeing the truth and acting accordingly.

Non truth is way bigger than you think it is. Nontruth is the ego...your ego is not the truth . It is not true that you are beautiful.  It is not true that you are not beautiful. It is not true you are a male.  It is not true you are a female. It is not true that you are any of that.  You are the Self. 

Many of us are still seeing the world through these dark lens and seeking spiritual freedom through egoic means which isn't going to work. 

If I look into the darkness, I don't see the light. Singer

Truth is we are not the ego and until we can drop below into who we really are...the Seat of Consciousness ...we are not going to live in truth. 

The part of you that is so very important is the part you do not pay attention to...the part of you that is watching...You are not what you are experiencing...you are the one who is experiencing...

All of life is meant to come in and pass through as we vibrate at the highest energy posible for our human forms.  We keep jamming up the pipes when the neurotic ego, set on either protecting or fixing itself and life, is in control. It grabs, clings, represses, supresses, resists and makes a big mess. 

We need to fall back away from ego and its belief addiction, recognize who we are...and heal from there so we can live the life we are meant to live from there as well. 

Then ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.

John 8: 32 NIV

All is well!

Dr Sue Morter ( 2019) The Energy Codes. Atria: New York

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe/ Sounds True ( April 21, 2025) Beyond the Self Concept: Returning to the Spiritual Truth. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMlp7D67Je4

Happy Easter!

 Blessed are those who have not seen, yet have believed. 

John 20:29

Happy Easter!

The Equanimity of Emotions

 All energies, and therefore all emotions, are created equal....

Dr. sue Morter, The Energy Codes, page 134

Those words above remind me of these infamous words I am always quoting: 

Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so. Hamlet, Act 2, Sene 2

When we attach thinking and story telling to our emotional experiences we create eddies and whirlpools that are hard to get out of. 

...since all emotions are just energies of differing frequencies, none is better than the rest. All serve their unique roles in the universal energy pulse that is expanding and ancjoring- in the natural cycle that we, and all of nature, go through.  The so called posive emotions are efforts to expand, whie the negative emotions are efforts to anchor. pg 134-135

Wow!  I am blown away by the book "The Energy Codes", by Dr. Sue Morter.  Let's just say that it is very, very highlighted and underlined book right now. Yeah.  

It was funny I read the forward for it from Jill Bolte Taylor, PhD last evening and she said in response to first meeting Dr. Sue and listening to what she believed in, "Every once in a great while , I happen upon another life traveler whose experiences and beliefs resonate so boldly with my own that I literally jump up and down and burst into song."

I didn't burst into song when I first heard her on the Andre Duqum podcast but I did jump up and shout out, "Yes! Yes! Yes! I get it!!!"

Then, I approached her teaching as cautiously as I approach any teaching...more than a bit skeptical of the teacher and their true motivation. Then, as I read, I became hit with one aha moment after another! My present perspective is being validated as I read and at the same time I am learning a new perspective. Amazing.

I have lots of little stars on page 134 and 135 where the author discusses the equanimity of emotions and how naming our feelings and emotions keep us in story telling, and how story telling  keeps us in the mind, and therefore not in the body or present moment...and therefore not in a place we can heal.  And I was again on my feet yelling to my cat Lily, who was convinced I was off my rocker..."Yes! Yes! Yes! I get it!"  

I see now how The Energy Code" might be the thing that gets us there, how it relates to the teachings of yoga and other ancient wisdom traditions, but is expressed in a way that the secular personal mind can understand. So cool.

You know how I see teaching as a part of learning? I am envisioning now how I can teach what I am learning from her...how it is another step in undersatnding all I have learned from others. I want to teach this so I can understand better and hopefully others can understand. I see a bunch of macroenabled ppt presentations in my future lol. Of course, any teaching I offer will not infringe copyright lol.  It will be the sharing of the learning this human I call "me" has gained over the years, based on the many, many teachings I was able to pick up...in which Dr. Sue Morter will be given credit for the newest "aha moments" of my learning life. :) So grateful to all teachers who pointed me in the right direction.

So remember this new bit of wisdom shared by Dr. Sue Morter...

If you can stay out of the mind-set of judgment and storytelling, you can set yourself free more rapidly.  pg 134

All is well!

Looking Deeply at Debbie Downer and Negative Nellie

Dig deep within yourself, for there is a fountain of goodness ever ready to flow if you will keep digging.

Marcus Aurelius

Wow! It seems like I downloaded some very personal and unpleasant truths yesterday when I had a good look at the veil that keeps us from experiencing what we are here to experience.  It was a bit of a turn-off for me so it was more than likely a "turn off" for many. You probs didn't want to hear that from me or anyone else. "Debbie Downer [stealing the character from SNL] and Negative Nellie" are not welcome guests at many tea parties. This type of negativity usually is something we want to avoid on our spiritual mission.  This part of the excavation process may be very disappointing...but it is also a neccessary part we have to dig through to get to the hidden truth within. 

Imagine knowing a life changing treasure is hidden in the earth.  You have studied every map...solved every clue and know for sure that the x in front of you marks the spot. You have been digging and digging, sweating and going without as you dig. It is exhausting, bone crunching work but you know that what is in the earth is the most valuable thing you could ever possess. You are committed to getting to it.  Up to this point you had to dig through topsoil, shale, rocks ...you have gone through many layers of what you thought was the "deep" stuff  and suddenly your shovel connects with something that might just be the top of a treasure chest.  It is even shining like gold as the sunlight hits it. You are so excited!!! "I am there! I am at the core!!" 

Everyone around you is telling you that this is it...you are reaching the truth of who you are.  So, you keep digging only to find that it isn't a chest but another heavy layer os shale ...thick and crusty. More digging required. After the shovel is down, you scrape off the dust and there and behold...the skeleton of 2 people emerge...exactly your frame and size. Sitting up and rattling the remains of dust and dirt from their bones ...Negative Nellie and Debbie Downer introduce themselves and right away start their spiel, talking in unison for stereo effect, 

"Thank God!!!...We can finally get out of this hole.  We have been down here for so long trying to get your attention but you kept burying us with layer after layer of dirt and thought and idea nonsense "....  Debbie spits out a few pebbles and maybe an earthworm from her fleshless mouth. 

"Sure...you were hearing us...how could you not... but not as clearly as we needed you to. We needed to be free to have a real heart to heart (well maybe heart to sternum)...talk with you. But...you didn't want to deal with us...because we are "sooo annoying and negative" and you wanted nothing to do with that on your  fancy, woo-woo  mission to enlightenment. la-de-dah. " 

Nellie picks up her arm that somehow got disconnected from her shoulder and tries to put it back into the socket .

"We cannot help but be negative after all the crap you stuffed down here with us. Come on Man, Give us a bloody break!! Yeah, we aren't as pretty as the fancy treasure buried beneath us but did you have to bury us alive? Really? That is why we have been screaming at you through all the layers you put on top.  We were not going to completely dissolve because of all your positive thinking crap! Bone doesn't go away that easy!  Where do you think the expression , 'skeletons in the closet came from...duh!' 

Anyway, after a little chit chat we will gladly crawl up out of this hole and out of your life so you can get to the fancy treasure you covered up....Yep! you, my friend, are the one that covered it up.... nothing else and no one else. And we are just casualities of the process. 

You have to deal with us first, though! So, are you ready to have  a good look at what you buried and talk with us? "

And as you are looking at these two rattling skeletons, you notice the light from beneath them shining through.

Okay, my imagination kicked in lol...Anyway, I did see a bit of the light that is within us all, the treasure we dig for in our awakening process, during that little episode at the grocery store. I wasn't, however, expecting to have to deal with  Debbie and Nellie lol.  

I realize how important it is to get to those core beliefs inside us which unfortunately are often negative downers...No matter how we hide these core beleifs, no matter what we bury them with (and I don't care how much positive thinking or positive affirming you may do)..they don't go away.  They will haunt us until we look deeply into them and set them free. 

So, that is why I had a good look at them in writing last entry.  I am sure I am not the only one with a Debbie or a Nellie in their closet, am I? 

Anyway...something to think about.

All is well.