Image, Karma and the Fruits of our Actions

 

Thy right is to work only, but never to its fruits; let not the fruit of action be they motive, nor let they attachment be to inaction. 

Bhagavad Gita 2:47 (https://shlokam.org/bhagavad-gita/2-47/)

Are images really treacherous? 

I am not sure if  images are treacherous, but they can  definitely be  deceptive. A little look at the stats page, for example,  creates an amazing image for the ego, of a blog well read and "successful" in outer world terms. Thanks to some Singaporean bots(assuming that is what they are) it shows that I have had 28,500 views  already this month and the month is just starting.  Imagine! (Only months before I would have been thrilled with 285 views in an entire month.)

Is this image of blogging success real? 

No...like so many images we attach meaning to in this world, this image  isn't real.  The bot activity on the stats page creates an image that creates a surface illusion of success according to the requirements of the  surface illusion of the material world, that feeds the surface illusion of an ego. All just one big surface  illusion. The numbers are there on this image  in plain black and white, that is real, but what they are pointing to is  not real...I am not what is deemed as a "successful  blogger."  There has not been that many readers ( Google analytics is very quick to put ego in its place lol) . 

The thing is, even if those numbers were legitimate, would that make the image of success real? No...it would just be pointing to a number of clicks onto certain pages.  These clicks of the finger do not mean that the entries were read. And even if they were read? That does not mean that the effort I put into creating these entries was received in a way I would want them to be received, does it? Sure it may herald a certain "success" in blogger terms...which is all about the numbers... about the number of clicks rather than the number of readers...but not in "real" terms...in reaping the fruit of my action terms. 

Fruits of Action Beyond the Image

What fruit am I hoping to reap by my actions here? What I want to do here; what I want to pass on goes way beyond the creation of an image ( which is a good thing considering this blog creates a far from  perfect image lol), and beyond getting a certain number on my stats page. It even goes beyond getting a certain number of people to genuinely read my blog in order to get something from it. Infact, it isn't about the fruit, it is about the action itself. 

Let not the fruit of action be they motive

Still Not Evolved...

Writing is like that for me. I write to write.  Don't get me wrong...I  can still see a big fat greedy ego that wants to gain a certain recognition and success as a writer, that wants to earn some money as a writer lurking around in my psyche. I am not that evolved yet.  I even caught myself  trying to convince myself initially that the spikes on the stats page were legitimate lol.  I was falling in love with the image created there...willing to be deceived by it. The thought of being successful as a writer/teacher ( just identities that reveal I am far from evolved) and the thoughts of reaping the fruits of my actions here ( getting paid and out of this financial slump) were enticing. So I was kind of enjoying the image and was willing to be deceived by it.

...but no longer attached to the fruit.

Still, I knew it was not real.  I knew if these fruits ego was wanting me to gain by writing showed up in my life, they would not sustain who I was beyond the "me" . I knew they were not enough to keep me from enjoying and doing what I do, regardless of outcome. Regardless of what the numbers show on this page...legitimate or not...I would still come here everyday to do what I do. I am so glad to know I have a right to this work, even if I don't have a right to its fruits. 

Eckhart Tolle in the below video link tells us that when we release the attachment to the fruits of our actions and serve and offer because we find joy in what we do,we release ourselves from the  hold of negative karma and may someday even reap the rewards of positive karma.  Sometimes, the fruit will show up ripened in our lives naturally when our motivation is pure  But like most karma,we  may not see the results right away...we might not even  see it in this life time. There are so many writers who struggled through their incarnations with the hope of being known...and who only found their ideas of success post humously.  I would be okay with that.  

I do not need to be known in this life time  but if what I do here will benefit others after I die, that would be great.  I often come here with this little thought chirping in my head..."I  may not get  readers  when I am alive, but maybe after I pass on, someone will have the sense to come here and see what I was spending so much of my earthly time doing, read it, appreciate it and get something of value from it. Maybe my children who are also struggling financially will earn some money from selling something I wrote."

Regardless if  a cent is earned on this that I write,or not,  now or posthumously. If I have no more than ten readers total since inception; if I continue to be viewed by no more than bots....it is okay.  I will not get lost in an image of success and I will continue to write, learn and teach for the sheer joy of it. The fruits of action will never be my motive. I come here to write, just to come here to write.  

Anyway, I thought of that this afternoon and thought I would share. Why? Because I love the action. The fruits of my action are secondary, if anything significant at all. 

All is well

Nerdwriter 1 (2015?) What is the Treachery of Images? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atHQpANmHCE

Eckhart Tolle (May, 2023) What is Karma Yoga?...The Bhagavad Gita. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3YRKMB-TIg&t=3s

Ways to Wash Away Karma

 

Reaction and non action both create karma, but conscious action transcends it. 

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

You can also transcend the seeds of your karma by becoming independent of it. The way you do this is to keep experiencing the Self, your spirit, by going into silent meditation and coming out again. This is like washing a dirty piece of cloth in a stream of water. Each time you wash it, you take away a few stains, and it gets a little cleaner.

Deepak Chopra

All is well!

Is Your Life Suffering or Bliss?

 Ultimately, Life is neither suffering or bliss. It is what you make it. 

Sadhguru

Wow! I just finished reviewing Chapter Two of the below book.  It was probably the most profound of all the chapters and it took me a long time to get through all the highlighting. There is so much to understand conceptually.  I don't know where to even start in summarizing it all. The above quote helps! I also looked into my man Eckhart to see what he had to say about karma.

This is what I have come to understand so far: 

Living in Suffering or Bliss?

 Sure there is karma in our lives...some unconscious pattern of mentally, physically and energetically reacting to life...but ...what we need to know is  that we have a choice in whether we let this karmic reactivity determine the course of our lives or not. We have a choice to continue suffering as identification with  the resisting and reactive mind will ensure,  or to live in bliss, as living in  presence will ensure. Sure we may feel trapped and tangle dup in sme negative karma now, but we can take the reins from karma and control our own journey's forward. 

How do we do that? 

We can transcend and even put an end to accumulation of karma through three things: our recognizing , our volition, and our commitment to living in presence, and awareness.  We  start with recognizing what we are doing and seeing how it only keeps us stuck. Karma is accumulated by our internal tendencies...by the mind and identification with form.  Know that.  Karma, according to Tolle and so many others is more about reaction than action.  How are you reacting and resisting life?  ( and yeah...you are!!) Recognize that.  Be vigilant! Ask yourself: Has what I have been doing so far been effective in leading me to bliss, or is it keeping me in suffering? See how entrenched you are in habit mind, in your wanting and not wanting.  See how you are selectively choosing from life what you will allow in, and how you are resisting the rest. See how this only adds more negative karma to your life...more suffering! Observe your mind and see how you are creating your own karma!

Next use your volition ( effort and will) to break through this compulsive and cyclic  wheel, this habitual way of reacting to life.  Again be aware of what you are thinking, feeling; what you are saying and doing; and what you experiencing energetically ( I am a little stuck on that one...not too aware ,as of yet, of my energetic contribution to my life). Is it wholesome? Is it skillful?  Be willing to notice, water, and nourish the seeds that will bring peace and bliss into your life (and that means the lives of others as well...eventually we will see that it isn't 'all about me'...we will see that it isn't about 'me' at all because 'me' is only a mental concept that keeps us entangled in karma.).  Be willing to notice and remove the weeds that will contaminate your physical, mental and energetic garden. What seeds are you watering in your mind? What weeds are you pulling out by the roots?  Keep your physical, mental, and energetic garden wholesome and nutritious enough to offer much needed sustenance to a hungry world. This takes effort and will and continuous vigilance.  

After putting in the will and the effort to stop acting/reacting through selfish, compulsive and habitual mind tendencies which create negative karma and nourishing the thoughts, actions and energies that allow for positive karma, you need to become still, attentive, and aware as you observe life and how you are reacting to it through presence. Then instead of selectively resisting any of it, make a commitment to become an active participant in the great molecular dance of the cosmos, accepting all of it inclusively. 

How do we participate fully in life rather than the half hearted way we have been doing in order to avoid karma?  We embrace all of life, not through an identity as a seperate little self, but as Self.  We fall beyond our roles, our identification with "me", our attachment to worldly things (including the 'fruits of our actions') and we become present and aware. We approach Life as the Observer of this 'little me' going around making a mess of things. ...knowing that is not who we are. And we open up to Life in presence rather than in ego.  

There is no karma accumulation at the higher levels of consciousness and awareness.  In presence we will be free.

Anyway, that is what I picked up so far in my studying of "karma". 

All is well. 

Eckhart Tolle (May, 2023) What is Karma Yoga?...The Bhagavad Gita. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3YRKMB-TIg&t=3s

Eckhart Tolle ( July 25, 2023) The Negative Impact of Karmic Action. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiMZFfJOgis&t=12s

Eckhart Tolle( Jan, 2023) You Can Go Beyond Karma. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgSPEkD16ss

Sadhguru ( 2021) Karma: a Yogi's Guide to Creating Your Destiny.  New York: Harmony Books.

Knowledge versus Knowing; Concept versus Reality

 

The famous pipe. How people have reproached me for it! And yet, could you stuff my pipe? No, it is just a representation, is it not?  So if I had written on my picture, "This is a pipe", I'd have been lying. 

Rene Magritte

Ironically, I pulled out this question yesterday and I think it is well suited to the last entry on reality vs concept. 

All is well 

Have a look at this:

Nerdwriter 1 (2015?) What is the Treachery of Images? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atHQpANmHCE

The Concept is Not Reality

 Am I here to change it [reality] or is it here to change me?

Michael A. Singer

That is one of the greatest questions we can ask on our journey to truth. There is nothing wrong with truth.  Reality is not a difficult thing we have to endure.  It is the mind that makes reality into a problem...into something that needs to be manipulated and controlled, fixed and altered...escaped...pushed away, avoided. It is the mind that does that. 

How ? It creates concepts.Concepts are just projections of reality, not reality. You need to have a look at this on Magritte's famous image, Ceci n'est pas une pipe/ This is not a pipe painting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atHQpANmHCE

We get so hung up in our concepts, believing them to be reality, we fail to see and experience reality for what it is. Reality is just reality.  It has a heritage, Singer tells us. It has to follow the laws of cause and effect. 

What is must be because it is the result of all that was...

Yet we want it to be the way we want it to be don't we?  We form these concepts in our mind...these ideas...these mere projections of a made up reality and wrap them all up into a model of who we believe we are and how we believe the world should be to suit us...and we expect reality to match that.  When this reality which is a result of billions of years of evolution...the effect of an infinite number of causes ( that have nothing to do with us) doesn't match this model we freak out, don't we?  This is our suffering. 

Most of these concepts that we created and which make up our psyche model are fear based.  What we want from reality is " for things to be the way that doesn't hurt me."  It is all about "me and my fears", isn't it? So when change comes, if we are basing our sense of life experience on these mixed up schematas in our heads, we are going to resist, struggle against, grasp and cling, prefer, push away etc. This leads to suffering.  It isn't reality... that is just doing what it is doing becasue of too many causes to count...it is attachment to this model in our head that is the problem.  What we need to do instead is say to reality, 

"With this act of change take from me what is afraid of the change!" 

The problem is not reality.  The problem is what we did in our minds. If we keep clinging to our un real concepts, we will suffer endlessly and needlessly.  We ( as these "me"s)  need to get out of the way. Reality can help us do that.

All is well. 

Nerdwriter 1 (2015?) What is the Treachery of Images? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atHQpANmHCE

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( September 11, 2023) Choosing Reality.https://tou.org/talks/

Understanding Karma

 When there is no "I", there is no Karma.

Ramana Maharshi

Okay...I want to start understanding karma better.  I want to take the book from Sadhguru and analyze it a bit better using other resources as I do.  May take some time. Bear with me. 

What is karma?

Karma simply means action and when we think of the  existential mechanism of Karma ( Sadhguru) we see there are  consequences for our physical, mental and energetic actions. What we do or say, what we think or feel, and how our energy is expressed determines the course of our lives. 

Purely Internal

Contrary to what most of us believe, karma is not something that is determined 'out there'  as a reward and punishment system for our actions.  It is purely internal.  Though something else seems to be pushing your buttons.  Someone else seems to be driving the car...(Sadhguru, page 14)....this is not the case. It is this continual oscillating and repetition of thoughts, feelings, behavioral and energetic tendencies that are attracting things to us and/or pushing them away. 

Ram Dass reminds us that "Our karma is our mind". And Sadhguru says:..."your mind shapes the way you experience the world around you. This becomes your karma- an orientation to life you have created for yourself in relative unawareness. (page 9) He goes on to say, the unconscious mind is a tremendous library of karmic memory...(page 12). 

Responsible

Our minds, to me, are like fans spinning around sucking things in and pushing things back and away. We are doing it all unconsciously, not aware of how we generated these patterns that got the fan spinning, not seeing the roots of our karmic tendencies...just reaping the fruit and saying "WTFork? Why does this type of thing keep happening to me?" And the fan keeps picking up momentum the longer we are stuck in these compulsive and unconscious habits.We have to see we are the makers of our own karma and are therefore the creators of our lives. We have to know we are responsible for our own destinies if we want to shut the fan off, or at least slow it down. 

What got this karma fan moving? 

We accumulate "impressions" over the years based on the massive amount of input we take in from our senses. This creates our psyches, our tendency to think, feel, act a certain way. It also affects our energy. If the impression is strong, it may create a samskara which in turn will create a blockage in our energy body (pranamayakosha) and this will disturb the natural flow of shakti through us adding to our karmic consequences. We see life through this veil of psyche, through these thoughts, feelings, through these energy blockages and "react" accordingly creating consequences for these action choices.This creates a cyclical effect.  Life responds to our thoughts, feelings, words, actions and energy expressions by giving us more of the same. It feeds the fan we set in motion. We turned the fan on and both life and our own reactions to life keep the fan moving. 

Do I stink? 

Another way of looking at how karma determines our lives is through Vasana. Vasana is the type of karmic smell we emit......what moves toward you and what moves away from you are determined by the smell that emanates from you.  Your vasana depends, of course, entirely on the kind of residual memory or karmic content you carry. (page 18). 

All we have accumulated over the years of our existence in this life and the others has a fragrance to it. Though this smell  is neither good or bad in existential terms, our human minds may have to see it as such to understand it. Maybe  our thoughts, feelings, deeds and energy expression were helpful to humanity creating a very lovely fragrance that we emit. Or maybe they led to less than positive karma accumulation leaving an offensive smell.  We might smell like roses or we might smell like garbage based on an accumulation of past actions in this life or another. The garbage smell may keep the pleasant at bay and attract the predators ( challenging and unwholesome life circumstances) and the roses may attract the admirers ( the wholesome and easy life experiences). 

So how do we stop it or slow it down? Go Beyond Mind, Body and Energy to the Self

Sadhguru reminds us that are five bodies ( physical, mental, energetic, etheric and bliss body) and that karma only takes place in and effects the first three.  The more we focus on and reconnect to who we are at the ethereal and blissful level, the least we will be impacted by karma.  

Maharshi also taught it was our attachment with the first two body levels, especially, that creates karma and keeps us stuck in these karmic loops.  We are not our bodies or our minds. We have to stop trying to put all our energy and conscious awareness into attempting to  deal with the consequences of karma on these bodies and minds, into trying to rectify our karma, and instead go right to the root and pull it out.  What is the root?  This ego...this sense of "me" with its identification with body and "me, my, and mine". We need to transcend self for Self.  As long as we identify with a body, with doership, we are going to be lost in karma.  Self realization, a focus on the other two bodies,  frees us.   

Karma can be, according to Ram Dass, our dharma.  We can use our awareness of it to transcend it into this Self realization that Maharshi proclaims is the only way out. Hmm! Something to think about. 

All is well in my world. 

East Forest & Ram Dass (2019?)  Mind Karma ( feat. Trevor Hall) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fUoSrlrwyU

Ramana Maharshi. Medicine of One ( August, 2021) Karma, Destiny, and Free Will https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P34TFZItBjA&t=48s

Sadhguru ( 2021) Karma: A Yogi's Guide to Crafting Your Destiny. New York: Harmony Books

The Grass is Green

The grass is green, flowers are red, and the water is blue.

Zen Koan

It simply is the way it is.  It all has little to do with us.  We need to stop asking , "What does that have to  do with me and what do I do about it?" and simply learn to say: Thy will not my will!  It isn't all about "me".   It just is!  And it is amazing as it is!

Hmm! 

How small and depressing we make our lives when we insist it  be all  about 'me'. 

All is well!

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( September 9, 2023) Temporary Compensation Vs Permanent Fulfillment. https://tou.org/talks/

A Friend to self and Self

 Elevate yourself through the power of your mind, and not degrade yourself, for the mind can be the friend and also the enemy of the self. 

Bhagavad Gita 6: 5 

Do you use your mind to raise yourself up or do you use your mind to tear yourself down?  And what is this self that we are tearing down?

Hmm!  I often tear myself down and what I am tearing down is that which is something that is getting in the way of me being all I can be. I am told and believe that it is not healthy to tear this self down. Ironically, then, I  am concerned about tearing down the "self" ( note the little 's')  that is in the way of me experiencing who I really am...the Self ( note the big 'S').  Is that not the case for most of us with twisted psyches...self concepts that are less than healthy and positive...created on a platform of negative messaging from others?  We come to believe in our core that we are not enough and that we deserve reprimand and punishment. So we live a life of tearing down the self with the mind...with what I call the "Shamer Ego" component of mind, an enemy. Living out self fulfilling prophecy, self sabotage, and negative and critical self talk often becomes the way of tearing down this self.  Any psychologist would tell you how unhealthy that is.

Big 'S' or little 's'

Yet, at the same time , if we are inclined to take those steps to deeper understanding that go beyond psychology, we will see that this thing we are tearing down is not something we want to preserve for higher reasons than self punishment anyway.  This thing we are tearing down is actually just a veil, an idea, an ego, a mind created blockage, that is in our way of something greater...the Self. It is something we are addicted to, something we are so inclined to focus on for shaming or redeeming reasons that it takes up all our conscious awareness. It is something we get lost in and overly identified with becasue it is all we can see. 

All we can see

Why is it all we can see? It is all we can see because it is all we are looking at.  We narrowed this amazing light of Self ( pure conscious awareness) to shine onto this entity and its "me, my, or mine" drama, at the exclusion of everything else. This self is not real yet it is what is causing all our suffering. It is like a big blob in front of the One thing that is real, beautiful, true. ...the One thing that is full of light, love, safety. The blob is so big and dark we can only see glimpses of light around it, if anything at all. So if we are lucky enough to catch a glimpse of the light and reality beneath this blob, why wouldn't we want to knock down this wall of self( with the little 's') so we can feel that warmth, peace, joy and ultimate safety of the Self with the big "S"?

Enemies to self

Hmm! Most of us, however, who spend their lives tearing down the self are not aware of the light beyond it, are not aware that there is more. We are consumed by the blob, believing that is all there is and that we are it.  We are so busy focusing on the negative drama of little me...a drama we created by the way, with our resistance to what Life was handing out and our karmic consequences brought on by the ways in which we resisted....that we are lost in it. Shamer ego rules. We use the mind to tear down and degrade  self not for Self, but for self. We make enemies of our minds. It is unhealthy.

Being kind to self to get to Self

Yes, the ultimate goal is to get to Self...well to fall back into Self, realizing that it is there and has always been there...but we failed to see that because we were distracted by our focus on self. So, yes we do want to remove self...to die to be reborn. We want to be able to use this amazing power of the mind to shine on everything without that annoying blob limiting our clarity and vision. We want to see who we are is Self, and that we were never self...that entity we degraded and beat down so often. Still we do not want to keep beating down this thing we are believing we are in the meantime. We want the mind to be a friend , not an enemy.

A friend

Let's stop making the mind the enemy of self.  Let's just, without degradation or abuse, remove the light of consciousness from this me-blob we believe we are and shine it towards the background where the light is sure to shine, if only in glimpses at first, until all we see and feel is the light of Self.

It isn't going to be easy.  Breaking an addiction takes committed will power and practice. Even our self abusing tendencies are habitual...but just knowing that can be a step forward can't it? We do not have to continue using the mind to tear self down, we can use it to shine on Self.  We can.  We can. 

All is well in my world.. 

 Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( September 8, 2023) The Focus of  Consciousness. https://tou.org/talks/

Wanting and Craving

 Crave for a thing, you will get it. Renounce the craving, the object will follow you by itself.

Swami Sivananda

I just read something I wrote in 2017 when I was still very much into desire manifesting.  It sounds so contradictory to what I "believe"?/"know"? now.  It was in 2018 that I began studying Buddhist teachings and gaining a different but much clearer perspective.  

Normal to Want

Yes, I believe as humans we are going to "want" and even "crave" for Life to be wholesome and somewhat easy.  It is so "normal" to want, dream and fantasize about something other than what is when "what is" is full of one difficulty after another. It is so human to "hope" for something better when the moment we are in is full of obvious suffering. That doesn't mean, however, that we should get so attached and so caught up on this "me" getting what it wants that we fail to see the bigger picture.  We need to get to the point where we see that the problem isn't so much in not getting the thing we want...it is in the wanting itself...more specifically,  in our attachment to desire.  

Attached to Desire?

We may manifest that thing on our dream board but for how long is it going to make us happy and is it truly going to fulfill us in the long run?  If we take the time to examine our minds and how they operate, we will see that we do not stay happy very long after we get what we dreamed of. We will soon hear mind telling us to go after or seek to manifest something else, then something else, and something else. Won't we? It is a never ending striving this wanting takes us on, isn't it?  

Already in you

As far as having that thing fulfill us/ make us happy/ solve all our problems etc ...it doesn't. We just think it does.  We are already fulfilled.  We already have all the conditions we need for happiness, even in the midst of so called suffering.  We are just closed to them, that's all, so we cannot feel that flow of peace, joy, compassion, bliss ( sat chit ananda) that is within us already. When we get the thing on our list we open and we experience this wonderful flow of shakti through us.  .....so it is like "Oh my...I got what I always wanted and now I am happy." That is just ego trying to be the hero , taking credit for what isn't its. You were always happy...you just didn't know it because you were so busy looking out there  you failed to recognize what was already in you. You attributed your happiness to a condition of Life.  You attributed your happiness to manifesting a thing because it helped you to open to what was already in you. We need to observe how the attainment of our dreams and desires  fails to keep us open. There is no permanence to any of these things we are attempting to manifest. Relationships, wealth, abundance, success, recognition etc are just outer world conditions that can leave us just as quickly as they can be "manifested" into our lives.  It is like trying to hold on to beech sand. It doesn't sustain our happiness.  It doesn't fulfill us.  It is just a bunch of ceaseless grasping and clinging to things we cannot hold. 

Internal Cause for Both Suffering and Happiness

Our dreaming and fantasizing often increases in times of suffering. When life is challenging and difficult we often want it to be different. We resist what is and dream of or attempt to manifest something better. But just as the things "out there" have nothing to do with our happiness and fulfillment, they also have little or nothing to do with our suffering. The source for both our suffering and our happiness is internal, not external. Once we realize that we stop being so attached to our desires.  We stop attempting to manifest in this way. We find peace with the moment regardless of what is going on in it as we take accountability for our own inner states of being.  Instead of asking "How can I get this or that so I am happy?", we ask: "What do I need to work on inside of me so I open to the happiness that is already there?"  Totally different ball game, let me tell ya. 

Dealing in the  Interphase

There is an interphase we might encounter, however, between this realization that desire is the source of our suffering and our being completely free of its hold. In the podcast linked below, Michael Singer talks about  our tendency to want to suppress "desire" which I believe he sees as renouncing. Once we see how damaging dreaming and wanting  and attempting to manifest can be to our acceptance of the reality of the present moment, we might decide to go to war against it. He sees this as taking part in a tug of war between the higher Self (who we are behind mind)  and the lower self ( our desires and habit mind). The higher Self is beyond desire and knows that all the peace and joy we want is already within us; the lower self is that habit mind that attempts to fulfill the wants and needs of "little me" by manipulating and taking from the outside world.  Once we commit to awakening from little me's dream, we may make it and the mind's habitual tendencies the enemy, and set out to fight those pulls or calls toward desire and the lower self energy. We may resist with great might our habit minds and our human inclination toward wanting. We feel, for example, a desire coming up, say the craving for a cigarette after a month of not smoking. Though it is true that  we should not give into that desire to smoke because every time we give in we reinforce habit, we might erroneously assume that we should tighten our grip on the rope and pull against it. We might attempt to resist, repress or suppress the desire with great force. We might hate it or ourselves for having that desire as we try to squish it down below the surface of conscious awareness like we so often tend to do with energies that are disturbing. This, Singer reminds us, doesn't work.  It just creates more struggle and we will find ourselves  constantly attempting to put out fires, constantly trying to make our dips into negativity less negative,

Don't Resist, Transcend. Relax and Let Go

The only way to deal with desire and our lower energies  is through transcendance and this takes time and practice. Instead of attempting to put out every fire and disturbance of energy craving creates, we should recognize our desire, allow it, be compassionate with it and ourselves as we lean back and loosen our grip on the rope we are holding onto. We don't fight it.  We don't give into it.  We just relax and let go.   It doesn't have to be a battle between desire and us. We do not have to be pulled face down into the mud.  We do not have to resist.. We can simply relax and let go, falling back into that peaceful place of Higher Self. The lower energy will dissolve on its own. 

Anyway, that is what I thought of as I read my entry on the "not wanting cancer" and observed how much I have grown since then in my understanding of both dukkha and sukha. Hope it makes some sense to someone other than me.

All is well.

https://dale-lynwritin.blogspot.com/2017/05/acceptance-vs-giving-up-on-wanting.html

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( Sept 4, 2023) The Yoga of Letting Go-Staying True to Your Higher Clarity.https://tou.org/talks/

Thank you

 

If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough. 

Meister Eckhart

Well I have the new Google analytics up and running and those spikes in numbers of views are not legitimate lol.  Rational Mind knew that but there was a tiny remnant of ego in me that wanted to believe they were real and that I was suddenly becoming popular. I was even looking into amortization. I had this thought...Maybe I can get paid for doing what I love to do here.  Wow. Wouldn't that be cool.  

I am not as awake as I thought I was. I am still caught up in desire and still caught up in an ego...focusing on its likes and dislikes....assuming the answer to my financial woes, and the key to  happiness can be found in some form of writing notoriety. And I thought I was so far beyond all that.  I didn't come here to get thousands of readers...just enough to know I was fulfilling the writing cycle.  I didn't come here to become a renown teacher; I just needed a venue to share what I am learning in.  

 I am not done yet, I guess. I am still clinging to things, to desire, to  a tiny expectation that Life should be different than it is, that the way it is isn't enough. This was a wonderful little lesson on the impermanence of those things the ego  seeks in hope they will fulfill us. It was also a good lesson on the unreal vs the real. Even if those stats were true...what I assumed they would give me could never be real.  Readers come in and they go...just as notoriety does...just as a money does.  Not that there is anything wrong with having these things...there isn't . We do not need to renounce and say "no" to external world success, if it should come our way.  The only issue would be in becoming attached to having these things...seeing oneself  as needing them in order to be whole an complete. 

I already have within me everything required for joy and happiness.  I already have within me what is important and what is real. It is enough.  It is more than enough.  I have loyal readers.  I see you on google analytics. Thank you! Thank you!

All is well!

Done Taking?

 When you are done taking, you are done with yourself.  You just serve. 

Michael A. Singer

Another glorious day out there.  The sun is shining, the air is warm during the day and a bit crisp at night.  Pears should be ready soon and the apples are waiting on that first frost. The trees are already starting to change in colour.  Seeing glimpses of reds, oranges and yellows as I look about.  I love September.  It is my favorite season. Oh, there I go preferring again.  Preferring something over  another is such a part of habit mind, isn't it? 

Let's talk about the preferring and habitual personal mind. 

Most of our day to day affairs are propelled by habit mind, wouldn't you say?  We proceed through the day, not quite aware of anything but personal mind's repetitive instructions: "Go here, Get that, Do that, Don't do that. Stay away from there etc." It is like we are sleep walking. Goldstein in the linked podcast below tells us that habit is just a gentle word for addiction. Hmm! We get addicted to things "out there" and "in here" being a certain way, don't we? (Well ego gets addicted). We just listen to the mind, as if hypnotized, and follow its instructions, getting so caught up in its drama and story,  without truly realizing what we are doing. Maybe we need to stop and have a good look at our minds and what we are thinking, feeling, saying and doing in reaction to them.

Singer reminds us that we have this tendency to become so fixated on the personal mind...that ego...that thing we created with all its habits, preferences, likes and dislikes, with all its story and drama,  that we cannot see the impersonal reality beyond it. Waking up involves taking our attention away from personal mind and placing it on the impersonal reality of what is.

Hold on crazy lady!  What do you mean by" personal mind" and "impersonal reality" ?

Personal mind, your ego, is the self-concept that you created.  There truly is nothing in this existence that is personal except for what you made up in your mind.  This idea of a "person" is just a self-concept...an idea made from all the memories of experiences you have had over the years. It really isn't real.  There really is no "me, my, or mine" in the fabric of existence. Yet, we are all so caught up in this drama of  "me", and thereby  using whatever we can in the service of this "me".  We habitually attempt to  take from the world around us what we erroneously assume will bring happiness, comfort, joy and fulfillment to this ego, this idea of "me"and to push away what will disturb it.  We attempt to use the world to serve the "me" and its addiction. So focused on serving "me" in this mind made drama are we that we fail to see anything beyond it. We are so tangled up in our habits...those preferences...that all our energy and consciousness goes to the service of this unreal personal mind.  Our ever expanded, spacious consciousness constricts and contracts its beam of light so narrowly on this personal mind when we do that. We miss so much!

What is Real

According to the teachings of the Buddha, as passed on by Joseph Goldstein...there are only six things we can experience as human beings: the sights before our eyes, the sounds we pick up with our ears,  the tastes and smells we absorb, the sensations we experience through the skin and all the mental stuff going on in our heads .  This is what our body picks up and through the veil of "me" we wear it is often not experienced fully. Our perception colours it and often makes it less than real.  The universe, on the other hand, is real but it is not here to serve"you"or "me" as we come to believe it is in our self centered focus.  It is here with its own agenda. It has been expanding, growing and evolving perfectly  over billons of years to get to where it is now...to get to that narrow window of experience that enfolds in front of us in each moment. We are not meant to take from it that which will help our ego grow, that which will feed our addictions...we are here to experience it, enjoy it, respect it, be in awe of it as we serve it. 

Refocus the Light of Consciousness

If we could learn through steady practice to remove the light from this idea of "me" we would see something so much greater. Of course, it all begins with the willingness to stop and observe our minds and our habits and what we are doing, to wake up a bit from our sleep walking tendency.  It starts with recognizing that "preferring" did not take us anywhere but to suffering and bondage. It starts with wanting to be free of our addiction to "me".  We can refocus the light of consciousness on what is real by simply removing the light from the unreal "me". If we want to be free, we need to let go of our preferences and our habit minds...we need to die to be reborn.

Anyway, there is so much more in the below linked podcasts than what I could ever offer you here. Have a listen.

All is well. 

Joseph Goldstein/ Be Here Now Network ( August, 2023) The Wisdom of "No" with Joseph Goldstein-                   Insight Hour Podcast-Ep 178. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BacE8zOrcGk

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( September 3, 2023) Understanding Personal Vs                                  Impersonal. https://tou.org/talks/

 

Did I really have over 1700 views today so far, over 3000 yesterday and over 13, 000 since September first? I strongly, strongly doubt it.  So what is going on? Any ideas anyone? 

If , on the off chance, it is legit...thank you very, very  much Singapore!!!!!! And a giant thank you, as well, to all my other readers, So very grateful!

If I sound suspicious it is because I am lol. Such a rapid spike would leave anyone questioning, wouldn't it? I  just can't understand it. 

It is all good. 

Renunciation

 

Renunciation is not getting rid of the things of this world, but accepting that they pass away.

Robert Baker Aitken

I'm back! Lovely weekend away, full of adventure. We trail rode horses, zip lined, repelled down cliffs and played golf.  D. and I slept in a two man tent that truly was not meant for someone who is 6 foot 1 lol and though my mind loved being beneath the stars in the fresh wooded air, my body did not like the hard bumpy ground.  That would take some getting used to.  It reminded me of Ram Dass describing how he made the trek through Northern India to meet his Guru for the first time...a fairly well to do westerner toughing it out, lying on the ground for nights and nights.  His body reacted miserably to the trials and tribulations he put it through on that journey  but eventually he got used to it. Of course, I did not endure as much suffering...it was all very pleasant except for the ground and the back is still growling a bit but I did want to tough it out a bit in honour of him. 

Dealing

Anyway, I came home to the same circumstances I left. I was  re-energized but a little less rested than I hoped to be.  Oh well...we will deal. 

So in the process of dealing...I am contemplating what to say "yes" to and what to say "no" to.  Of course, the very first thing to do is accept what is as it is right now; to notice what is unfolding in front of me, allow it ( without resistance), look deeply into what is happening "out there" and what is happening "in here" as a result of it...what am I thinking, feeling, saying and how am I acting.  Is it wholesome or unwholesome, skillful or unskillful and then I need to nurture myself with some loving compassion as I nurture the others involved with the same level of compassion. Hmm! Not so easy as it looks. 

Back to "Yes" or "No"

I just happened upon two podcasts today...and both address this idea of renunciation in their own ways,one from a buddhist perspective and one from a Yogi perspective.  The core truth is the same in both teachings but the "concept" possibly differs. Speakers in both podcasts speak of the Buddha's amazing insight that the core of all suffering is our craving, our desires, our clinging and grasping and our preferences which creates the habit mind. The habit mind binds us. The way out of suffering is a letting go of these habit tendencies, this attachment to things being a certain way "out there". They both also speak of the counter part to desire which is aversion, stressing it is the opposite side of the  same coin that leads to suffering. 

Renunciation from A Buddhist Perspective

Goldstein says that renunciation which is a big thing in Buddhism...involves renouncing the "unwholesome"  habit tendencies towards sensual desires, ill will and cruelty so we can cultivate the seeds of happiness, joy , kindness and compassion etc . He goes on to describe how the Buddha, who instructed that we must be very aware of what we are thinking because the more we think on one thing the more it will become an inclination of the mind, also advised putting our thoughts into two lists: those that are wholesome and those that are not wholesome or skillful in getting us closer to freedom from suffering. Wholesome thoughts are those that cultivate peace, joy, happiness, compassion and kindness for self and others.  Unwholesome thoughts are those that lead to affliction -more suffering- for self and others.  

It is usually much easier to recognize and deal with the unwholesome thoughts of aversion, anger, hate, etc because we see how they cause suffering in self and others and are usually more motivated do change them,  The unwholesomeness of desire, however, may not be so easy to recognize therefore we may not have the motivation to renounce that which we desire.  We often get that which we want bringing about pleasant results so it seems gratifying and worth pursuing. We often fail in recognizing the suffering desire  causes until we lose that which we were clinging to. There is no permanence in that which we desire from the physical world so it cannot fulfill us for long. It will eventually cause suffering. We will feel the pain of that impermanence, and will then grasp for something else, then something else, and something else.  We will find ourselves on a cyclical  path of struggling to get what we erroneously believe will fulfill us from "out there" ...one thing after the other... until wanting itself becomes what we desire. 

All desire is addictive!  It is a vicious mental game we play and we won't see how it is one we cannot win until we examine our minds. So Goldstein makes  a strong argument about the need to renounce not only the obvious unwholesome thoughts, feelings, actions and words  but the less obvious desire. 

Renunciation from a Yogi's Perspective

Michael A. Singer, however,  often tells us not to renounce anything! "If you try to renounce...you are not through with the physical world."

He stresses in the beginning of his podcast that renunciation and craving are the very same thing. They both mean that we are not done with "things" .  As long as we are not done with things, we will want more or less of what Life offers.  This is preference and desire and this is the cause of suffering. If we are renouncing things then that means we want less of something life offers and  are therefore not done with "things". So I found this contrast to be confusing until I realized the difference in the understanding of   'renunciation' both are using. Singer seems to be  talking about renouncing "things", all that which unfolds in front of us, and Goldstein is talking about renouncing the unwholesomeness and unskillful tendencies of mind. 

When it comes to saying "No" to one thing and "yes" to another, Singer tells us the Yogi says yes to all of it.  They put away judgements of "good or bad, right or wrong, should be or shouldn't be" for "it just is and it has nothing to do with me".   We, as the experiencer, are here to simply  experience and enjoy the dance of creation unfolding in front of us and through us. He tells us to say "yes" to all of it. That doesn't mean we decide what is desirable and go after it ...we just don't determine anything as desirable or anything as undesirable. We don't prefer one thing over the other.  If a relationship unfolds in front of you...wonderful...say "yes"...don't grasp it, don't renounce it.  If Life doesn't offer you a relationship...wonderful...say "yes"...don't crave one or seek one. If material abundance and wealth unfolds in front of you...wonderful...say "yes" ...don't grasp, cling or renounce it. If poverty unfolds in front of you...say "yes"...don't push it away, don't crave or seek wealth.   

In a sense he is saying the same thing Goldstein is saying: See the unwholes tendencies in both aversion and  desire. Stay equanimous. Accept and allow what is

Confusion

I think the confusion, for me, comes with the word "renunciation". It seems to be applied differently. There also seems to be distinction between what the Buddha asks of his bhikkhus and what he asked of  householders. We are all to renounce the attachment we have to the physical world, not necessarily the physical world.  We are, afterall, physical beings.  We are to do as Christ taught, "Be in this world but not of it." Bhikkhus ( Monks and Nuns) outwardly express their detachment to the physical world by giving up their hair, their fashion, their material wealth and relationships with "special" others. Devoted yogis do the same. This is what we come to see as renouncing but is it?  Could this renouncing  be more of a symbolic display, than a practical necessity to take us to freedom? Seems that way, eh? I don't know though. 

Is Loosening Our Attachment Renouncing?

What we all really renouncing, if anything, is our attachment to desire, our attachment to the world needing to be a certain way.  Once we see how desire leads to suffering, how addictive it all is, we won't want to lose ourselves in that bondage anymore.  We will want to be through with things. Not that we won't experience things or have things in our midst, we just won't seek them, cling to them or push them away through resistance. No expectation, no preference, no aversion...just wonderful acceptance and awe of the process of Life.

All About Letting Go

Both speakers agree on one important truth.  Our path to freedom is not about gaining anything...it is about letting go .  We need to let go of this "me", this ego, this habitual personal  mind  with its preferences and aversions, its addictive tendencies, its cravings, its resistance and reactivity.  We do not need to worry about saying "No" to things of this physical world, as much as we need to be willing to say "yes" to all that life is beneath the drama and the masks we wear. 

Hmm!  I am not sure if that says all I meant to say but that is what came out of me on this topic of renunciation. I do not understand it completely. 

All is well.

Joseph Goldstein/ Be Here Now Network ( August, 2023) The Wisdom of "No" with Joseph Goldstein. - Insight Hour Podcast, Episode 178 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BacE8zOrcGk

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe (August 31) Being Done-The Path to Freedom. https://tou.org/talks/

Breaking Clear Away for A Few Days

Keep close to Nature's heart...and break clear away, once in a while, and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods. Wash your spirit clean.

John Muir

I need to get off my butt and get moving.  We are going camping today. Taking a loved one who so needs the zap of a dopamine rise, on an adventure that will rise the dopamine, let me tell ya. Not sure if this old ticker that wants nothing more than a decrease in Adrenaline and the other sympathetic hormones...will like it or not ...but we are going to give it a try. Dopamine is the friendly loving cousin in the sympathetic response...though she  often travels with the other not so friendly ones, she is someone we all want around. It makes us feel good and excited, more so than fearful.  I, myself, could do with a Dopamine zap. We will see what happens.

One thing about tenting out in the wilderness, is that it requires a lot of planning and effort. And I am a wee bit tired from that planning and effort, especially after chasing  my grandson around for ten hours. I have yet to finish packing and getting everything together. Sigh.  I need to kind of anticipate that there might not be a lot of "rest" over the next 48 hours to recover in either. Oh well, we are gong to make the best of it and enjoy what we can. I might even bring my cameras...

Anyway, It is all good. See you in a few days.

Favour?

 Find your tribe. They will allow you to be you, while you dance in the rain.

Shannon L. Alder

Okay this blog hit the magic number of 100,000k and just for  last month the site reports 15,000 plus views.  Though there are views from other areas ( grateful...thank you), most of the views are said to be coming from Singapore.  I really, really do not know what is going on. I would like to know if any of the views I am getting are authentic. I am going to ask readers to comment if they will.  Just a "Hey" (and maybe what country you are from)...will suffice. I know it is a lot to ask but if you are willing, I would appreciate it. Thank you. 

All is well in my world. 

The Fruits of Helping Action

 

I work to end suffering without being attached to whether or not suffering ends.

Ram Dass

I am going to share. Brace yourself. I have been feeling so overwhelmed by my present life circumstances again. Feel myself burning out. Why am I frustrated by the suffering of others?:

• It is so in my face.  I cannot escape it anymore. I wake up and it is right there in front of me
• I ...this form and mind...is exhausted and  not 100% well because it is not receiving enough nutriments to sustain it in a wholesome and healthy way.  I have been so busy taking care of others, I neglected myself again. I have been pouring the last little drops out from my dry cup when people come to me with their cups to fill.
• I got lost in the identity of "helper" again.  Redeemer ego  wanted to lift this idea of "me" up to this, "I may be broke; I may have lost all external forms of success; I may not even have so much as a car to drive anymore but wow...look at me...I am a selfless helper. A true martyr." I can't believe I went there again. Yuck!
• and most obviously...I was too attached to the fruits of my actions...I was thinking in my mind, "If I am going to invest all this time and energy into serving, helping...I better see some positive results.  I am not seeing positive results because it doesn't work that way. 
• I feel like a failure as a helper, as a mom and sometimes as a human being. Sigh!

So this is what I observe this "me" experiencing as I look at my reactions to what Life has unfolded in front of me. ( Unfolded? Feels like it dumped ten tons of unfolded laundry on my head  and said "Fold!lol)

Anyway, I can get to  what lies beneath all this apparent chaos of circumstance and reaction for the peace that is there.  That peace is my reality, this doesn't have to be.

• Yes,  it is so much in my face and there appears to be only a little distance between me and it...but there is distance!!! It may not seem like much distance but there is distance.  I am not the suffering going on in me and around me...I am the Observer of it! As soon as I slip into Observer, I create distance between who I am and that which I am observing.  I can also disentangle this little entity called "me" from that which it appears to be tangled up in.  This "me" is not the one with the issues that causes such suffering.  So there is distance there.  I may be holding up that suffering...owning it ...trying to fix it for others but it isn't "mine" in physical terms. I can always put it down or give it back to the person over there that calls themself  the " suffering me".  " I did not create it.  I cannot control it.  I cannot change it." "I didn't break it so I can't fix it." Sigh...just saying that brings a bit of "relief".
• I can begin to look after me.  Now, I do have a problem with that because I am caught between the spiritual intention to dissolve "me" all together and the human intention for psychological and physical  self care. I mean, I know I have physical needs which I am not putting great effort into meeting. That is why my body is reacting right now. Without this body, I can not get around to do anything for anybody here.  I aslo, as a person who is not yet fully evolved, have psychological needs that may involve nurturing this idea of "me" until I get beyond it all together. I mean...I need to find a way to open up to joy and peace even if it involves a certain entrenchment in physical world pursuits that go beyond my yoga practice...I need a break from all this challenging external stuff. ...like a mini escape away from all this for a while to regroup. I do want to be able to remain open to everything that Life gives me...I do...I do not want to run, suppress any more junk, escape ...I want to pay off any karmic debt I owe...but I wonder when we are in a state like this to we accumulate more unwholesome karma? Is it not a good idea to step away for a brief period of time?
• I have to put away the label of "helper".  I am not a helper...I am a human being who simply wants to do what I can for other suffering beings.  I am a human being first...meaning that the human part of me has needs too.  Hmm! I cannot pour from an empty cup.  I have to fill this cup up.
• I also need to stop being so attached to the fruits of my actions...I can only do what I can do and leave the rest up to God.  Just like a physician can not save every life ...they do their best to alleviate suffering and eventually must let go of outcome  to nature....I must do the same here. I cannot save anybody! Especially if they don't want to be saved.  I can love, encourage, support, offer counsel when requested, set limits that protect them and others as much as possible...but that's it. Sigh.  I do not know how this is going to turn out.  I don't.  I see, though,  how this letting go can also have a positive effect on outcome.  There was one individual in this household at one time that I was so sure would never get beyond his choices...I let go...gave him back what was his...gave him a little push out and stood by to encourage and support from a distance. He did overcome that which was holding him down. Sigh
• Oh,  I hear old familiar Shamer Ego in my mind telling me I am a failure as a helper and a Mom...but I do not have to listen.  That is, afterall, just a bunch of old conditioning.  It never served me then and it does not serve me now. I may not be able to shut it up right now but I  can get beyond it.
• I also remind myself that this so called "suffering" is universal.  I am not the only human or the only being suffering. Of course, "my" so called suffering is actually coming from the suffering of those I love...but they are, in my ego mind just extensions of "me" so my mind says ..."my suffering". So many are suffering "out there" and that suffering is often  far greater in other beings, than I have yet to experience. I don't want to lose my sense of compassion for others by focusing on me and mine.  So, I am reading, Incidents in a Life of A Slave Girl, by Harriet Ann Jacobs. Now that puts suffering into perspective...let me tell ya!

I know this seemed like a lot of personal ranting and raving but there are some great lessons in here for all of us.  

All is well.

Ram Dass/ Be Here and Now ( August 29, 2023) Ram Dass on the Optimum Time for Spiritual Growth. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNyxtg2tgWk

Annoying Annie or a River of Joy?

 There is a river of joy flowing inside you. Find it; Go there; Get in it; and drown. 

Michael A. Singer's paraphrasing of Yogananda's Teachings

I want nothing more, as a parent, than to have my childrens' lives  flowing with joy. They aren't.  Like most of us, they are trapped in and tripped up by their reactivity to Life, instead of living it fully. One common thing I see in today's youth, because of their samskaras,  is the presence of "debilitating" anxiety. 

An Annoying Companion

I  often tell my daughter who suffers from social anxiety to think of her anxious mind as a poorly socialized  companion called "Annoying Annie".  I want her to imagine that Annie is always following her around 24-7, jabbering on and on and on in her ear, never shutting up in her unrelenting speech which is  most of the time very negative, fearful and shaming. Sometimes Annie is somewhat subdued and quiet, other times she is loud, obnoxious, and very demanding.  I reminded her that we all know people who do that, that talk for the sake of talking without even realizing what they are doing or aware of how they are impacting others. Much of what they say is self-serving,  has no meaning in it, and is not worth listening to. And though  such friends' heart and original intent may be  good, their presence may be interfering with  our everyday  life and  need to be dealt with. It is not so much the annoying companion we need to deal with ( we can't off them) , but our reaction to them.

I ask my daughter to consider this anxiety she is dealing with as  "Annoying Annie" because I want her to see the mind as a separate entity...not who she is. I don't want her to view her mind ( and its anxiety)  as an evil enemy so I encouraged her to view it as a peer, albeit not a great one.  I want her to see the distance that is there between her and it so she can observe it and therefore slip into "Witness Consciousness",  rather than be so caught up in  the mind's anxiety that she believes  it is who she is. I want her to realize that Annie's thought's have nothing to do with her. They are Annie's ( the mind's). I want her to be able to replace her chronic  mantras, "I am so anxious!" with "My anxious mind[Annoying Annie]  is bothering me again." I want her to rename her mental and emotional experience as "Annoying Annie"...so she can see it as just annoying rather than debilitating.   If she can view anxiety  as separate, a distance away from her and not who she really is; if she can see it as something on her level that can be observed from a distance;  and if she looks at it as  more annoying than debilitating...I figure she could feel empowered in dealing with anxiety and the mind. 

So How Do We Deal With the Mind? 

I asked her then how she would handle  a friend that did the same thing as her mind is doing.  She probably wouldn't be rude. She probably didn't want to fight her.  She could seek to see the good in her. She probably wouldn't run away and hide from her becasue she knew that would be too  obvious, She could try talking to Annie, to let her know that what she was doing was interrupting her life....though it would be hard to get a word in.   It would likely not change Annie's behaviour either.  She is, after all, what she is. She could listen to the content of Annie's never ending speaking for a while and once she realized the nonsense and self serving content of her friend's speech, she would less likely be inclined to listen or follow any directions or advice offered. She would be less likely to own any of Annie's fears, worries, blame etc either. She would eventually get to the point where she would hear and see her friend speaking but would not feel inclined to listen.  She would not personalize or  own anything Annie had to say. She would stop focusing on Annie altogether. She would put her attention back on Life in this here and in this now. She could then go about seeing and hearing what was unfolding in front of her instead of being consumed by this annoying companion's antics.   Even though Annie may never go away, she would not be bothered by Annoying Annie anymore. She would not be bothered by the mind's anxious tendencies. 

Appliance: Thought Machine

So I use Annoying Annie to describe the mind but  but Michael A. Singer describes the mind as an appliance, a thought machine that is constantly generating automatic thoughts based on our stored impressions or samskaras. The mind and its thoughts, Singer reminds us in the below linked podcast,    have no more to do with us than Mount Everest does. They are "just thoughts" that are pumping out.  We do not have to listen let alone own them.

Garbage In; Garbage Out

What thoughts come out of this appliance, and what words come out of Annie's mouth are determined by those deep impressions or samskaras we have stored inside, our suppressed and repressed memories with their emotional energy entwined around them. We put the data in at some point..."This was painful, do not want any more of this."  "That was nice, want more of that" and these machines spit out the thoughts and internal dialogue when they encounter whatever they encounter "out here". 

The mind isn't doing anything wrong really.  It is doing what we asked it to do.  We put the garbage in and it is just spitting out the results. What we need to do is clean up our insides.  We need to get the garbage out or at least let it come up and out when it is ready.  What the  thought appliance is spitting out  or  what Annoying Annie is  saying really doesn't matter. What we do with the garbage does. 

The source of your misery is how you are processing the imprint of the past now. You maybe carrying around a sackful  of stinking garbage. Either you can smear yourself with it and get terribly miserable, or you can make good manure out of it and create a wonderful garden.

Sadhguru, page 42 

All is well.

Sadhguru ( 2021) Karma: A Yogi's Guide to Crafting Your Destiny. New York: Harmony Books.

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( August 28, 2023) Cleaning the House of the Mind.https://tou.org/talks/

Fooled? What is Going On?

 When I think of life, it is all a cheat. Yet fooled by hope, people favor this deceit. 

John Dryden

I find myself in a situation where I am wanting to be fooled by hope but atlas....I now know better.

As much as I would like to believe that the big spike in stats I am seeing here is an increase in authentic readership, my rational mind tells me it isn't. Getting thousands of readers/hits ( whatever they are) a day.  It is only 9 am and already I have 956 hits on the stats page.  Most mornings, at this time, I would be overwhelmed with joy just to get six, let alone 956. Because of this spike, I am getting very close to the 100,000 number too, which I guess has some significance in this internet game...not sure why or what will happen when I hit that number.  Will horns go off and golden streamers fall down on me from the sky? Whatever the meaning of the numbers in the cyber world, it doesn't hold the same significance to me though...especially if it is just bot or other activity causing the spike in numbers, and not actual readers.  I am getting readers, don't get me wrong, I an so grateful to them and see the pages that were viewed but the pages viewed by no means match the number of so called hits ( not sure what they are  called) .  I have had one of those  minus's  as well which is not technically possible on a statistical pie chart. It just doesn't make sense. Anyway...it is what it is.  

Thank you authentic readers ( those of you that are)  though for reading along.  Much , much appreciated. 

All is well

Learning About Karma

 Karma is not a creed, a scripture, an ideology, a philosophy, or a theory,  It is simply the way things are.

Sadhguru, pg 8

I have had this deep unrelenting knowing that I was living out some type of karma but I never truly understood what karma was. I wanted to know more. 

So I finished the book on Karma by Sadhguru and like I said it was very well written and interesting to read.  I still don't know, however, if I truly understand karma .  I am not sure that the inner question that led me to read the book was answered.  What was that question (questions)? 

Are these seemingly unrelenting  challenging circumstances here for a deeper and more important reason? Am I living out a karma for the betterment of Self and others and should I therefore be accepting and appreciative of this suffering because it serves a higher purpose?

If I knew there was some universal benefit to my suffering, that what I was experiencing here in terms of financial, familial and personal "hardship" had a purpose...man I would gladly accept it without complaint.  I would even say, "Bring it on!"  I wouldn't be seeing it in the way ego convinces me to see it: as unfair punishment and something I need to change or escape right now!  True acceptance, allowance, appreciation, and honoring of my circumstances would take place. That, in itself, would bring peace. 

Sure, a big part of me still asks this question:

How can I change it so I, in this form, and those I love  are enjoying the fruit of good karma?

Man, I want a little joy in "my" life.  Is there anything wrong with that? I realize as I ask that question, I am still too concerned with this "me" and this life-time it is in...when "me" is just a small crumb in the vastness of all that is and this life-time is just a blink of an eye in eternity.  

Sigh! Anyway, I am going to explore the book farther,.  Take my highlighted notes, and what I am gleaming from other resources, and share them here in hope that I, if not you, will learn a little something from it.

All is well. 

Sadhguru ( 2021) Karma: A Yogi's Guide to Crafting Your Destiny. New York: Harmony Books

That Which Sticks

 

If you are in a state where you think your karma [present set of life circumstances that may be a consequence of your actions] is a burden that must be eliminated, you are not yet ready for liberation. Only when you learn to transform every memory-conscious/unconscious, pleasant/unpleasant, beautiful/horrendous-into joy and well being are you ready. 

Sadhguru, Karma: A Yogis Guide to Crafting Your Destiny. New York: Harmony Books, page 235

Not Yet Ready

Are you ready to accept whatever  unfolds in front of you as a necessary part of your evolution, regardless of what it is, and transform it into joy and well being? I am trying to do this but it isn't easy, let me tell ya. I think I am accepting, even embracing,  then boom...I slip back into resisting. Around and around I go  in this big karmic loop.  

Yet, I am learning, that in order to be free of karma we must let our samskaras go...those impressions that got "stuck" inside us because of our resistance to what is. We are suffering not from the occasional unconscious, unpleasant and even horrendous experiences we encounter but because of these knots of resistance in us.  We don't want our stored stuff to come up.  We don't want our buried samskaras to rise to the surface the way they do when we encounter certain things we decided we liked or didn't like out there. So we resist Life. Sigh.  We work really, really hard to control it all "out there" so we feel better "in here",  when it isn't ours to control. We resist fulfilling our karmic debt and we resist enjoying Life fully as it is. This is our suffering.

Hmm! I am trying to understand karma better.  I am trying to relate it to our "samskaras" and to our dharma, our practice of awakening. I still get all caught up in it. It isn't something we are meant to understand conceptually but experientially.  Lord Krishna Himself said the way of karma is unfathomable. Bit by bit the learning from experience is coming.

What is Karma? 

Karma is action.  Action consists of thoughts, feelings, words and deed.  Every action has an effect.  Both the effect and the action can be current, occurring in this life-time ( Kriyaman (and Agomi) Karma). It can be something already begun, possibly from another life-time or from the body itself which is a composite of memory ( Prarabdha Karma). It can also be represented in something called Sanchita Karma which is an accumulation of all karmic actions and whose effects will likely be felt in another life time. 

Karmic needs and debts manifest not only as an individual's set of life circumstances, but in the way in which  they deal with them. Hindu America Foundation, 2014

Sticky

Karma is basically the sticky residue of our actions. That which sticks.  What sticks? That which we attach our volition to, our intellectual energy to; that which we judge and discriminate to label as anything but neutral; that which we desire; that which we don't want; that which we stuff and store away from psyche's awareness; and that which we resist.  Is this not our samskaras? 

I look around my present set of circumstances and ask, "What have I done to deserve this? Man, I must have been really unconscious, really unwholesome, really reactive in this or another life time. " I rack my brains to remember what I was like as a child.  I think I started out happy, friendly and very much in love with Life.  I was always compassionate and naturally wanted to be helpful to all living things.  Somewhere along the line, however, I got broken and gradually became so absorbed with my own pain I began to react to Life in a fearful, defensive and unwholesome way. I began to resist what is. 

I was born with a certain amount of karma memory ...genetically and physically...as well as mentally determined.  Then I added onto the karma with my response to Life, accumulating a lot more.  Is that why this is all "seemingly" happening now? 

Not so Woo-woo

I can think of this Karma  as an inner trajectory , rather than a universal one, as a psychological and practical thing rather than a mystical one. I can think of is as a "self-fulfilling prophecy". When we are hurt by others, we develop core beliefs about our lack of worthiness. We assume the worse of ourselves and others.  When we hurt inside we become self protective.  When we become self protective, we pull back from certain things and make very protective choices. We become fearful of anything outside our comfort zone. The need for comfort increases as the fear of anything outside this zone arises. Our life choices reflect that.  We seek to manipulate "out there" so as to be as comfortable as possible "in here." Our life circumstances then reflect our choices.  

We also learned to think, feel, speak and do from our caregivers who were taught by theirs, and we unknowingly teach our off spring to do the same.  Our children learn from us.  They also inherited our memory DNA. They too become "self-" protective . It becomes a vicious cycle.  I am living the results of all three types of karma now. 

Escape or Serve the Time? 

The thing is, I still sometimes see karma as something I need to escape, run from.  One of the greatest reasons why I devote myself to a sadhana is to be free of suffering. Sometimes that freedom looks like a change of external events...less challenge, less of the "yucky" thrown in my face all the time.  I want to escape my karma.  Other times that looks like me finding peace no matter what is happening around me, of transcending...of being freed from my karma, not the circumstances, once and for all. That will mean, I suppose, living out my karma, serving my time.

If you are escape from prison you will be on the run for the rest of your life.  But if you are freed from prison because your term is up, you are a free man. 

Sadhguru, page 235

I know that karma is not a crime and punishment type of thing but as long as we resist it and life circumstance we are  in a type of prison. Are we not?  How do we free ourselves  from that prison? We can escape and  run away through resistance and outer world focus and manipulation, but we will never truly get away. Karma will follow us becasue it is stuck to us. Or we can do as Nelson Mandela and Gandhi did, patiently wait to be freed. 

I see that it isn't what is happening that I must change to transcend my karma, it is my relationship with it that needs to be changed. 

Not trying to change the disturbance, you are trying to change your relationship with the  disturbance. Singer

Whether we understand what it was that got us imprisoned in the first place or not (I may never know what I did to accumulate such karma) we can simply accept where we are at and serve out the time for our sake, and the sake of all those who come after us.   If we think of  our karma serving a purpose  for the greater good, we may even find joy and well being in it. Hmm!

In the meantime, we can avoid adding to that karma, adding to our samskara load. We can become intimately familiar with the working of our minds and notice how they are reacting to life circumstance.  Before we get lost in the thinking and feeling, before we speak and before we act...we can take a deep breath and relax.  We can then ask, "Do I really want to add more time to my sentence?  Do I really want to add more suffering to this experience I am in, for myself or others? " 

Instead of saying, "I can't handle this" and reacting according to that thought...we can instead say, "I can handle this.  It will pass and it will take a little of the karma away, a little more samskara away every time  I allow it to be what it is as it passes through". 

Let's just stay open and allow it all to pass through. Someday we will be free. 

Hmmm! All is well in my world!

Gurudev Sri Ravi Shankar (Dec 2, 2022) What is karma? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yePTvXf2oIQ&t=2s

Hindu American Foundation (2014) What is Karma? https://www.hinduamerican.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/KarmaMokshaandSamsara2.0_0.pdf

Sadhguru (2021) Karma: A Yogis Guide to Crafting Your Destiny. New York: Harmony Books,

Michael A. Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( August 27, 2023) The Art of Letting Go. https://tou.org/talks/

Running from Reality?

You can't conquer reality by running away from it.

Og Mandino

Should I run and hide from challenging Life circumstances? 

Did you ever get to the point where you felt like you were smothering under the weight of your external circumstances...and choking on a very visceral internal reaction to them? Did you ever get to the point where you felt that if you staid  where you were you would be crushed?  Have you ever seriously considered just running away from it all, using your spiritual inclination as an excuse to join an ashram or a monastery, just so you could focus on peaceful things all day instead of this?

I have had a literal knot in my gut for three months. It feels like I swallowed a pumpkin sized rock or something and it is just sitting there.  When the noisey warnings around me get really loud or when I find myself tripping over the external circumstances that are popping up  from this dusty old rug that is constantly unfolding in front of me, this knot starts to roll around inside me. It is painful! I also have this deep sense of heaviness all around me. It takes my oompf away and my natural tendency is to react or "do" something about it, to fix it. 

I mean, I have practiced enough to know I must counter these tendencies.  I start by reminding myself...that dealing with this that is unfolding in front of me and my reaction to it is my practice. I do my best to center myself so I can be open to all of it...so I can allow all of it in.(But I still  choke on the dust!)  I do my best to meditate and do kriya.  I do my best to relax into the face of this noise, this chaos  and this unravelling of more and more challenging events, but the weight of this knot in me and this heavy cloud over "me"  seems to be pulling me down! 

Run, crazy lady! Run!

I hear this internal warning system going off, "Run!" I really, really, really want to run but I don't run. I still myself when the bells go off. I observe what is happening around and in this form.  I do my best to accept what is showing up in front of "me"and in me, to understand it, to embrace and honor each challenge and each reaction to the challenge.  It isn't easy and I screw up royally from time to time, but I do my best. I am also  studying everything I can about karma...because I know in my gut that this is "my" karma...something I have created  along the way and something I can possibly undo.  I want to understand it better. Yet, everything is so dark and exhausting, confusing...I feel so overwhelmed at times...and the physicality of this just weighs me down more. It is like WTFork? The temptation to heed the "Run!" warning comes again and again but here I am. 

Hmm! Have you ever felt like that? 

The thing that makes this so confusing, I guess, is that I see how this form and mind I identify as  is taking quite the bopping from Life in terms of circumstances ( not that Life has a personal vendetta against me or anything...just happening either because of a million lead up events that have nothing to do with me  or because of some karmic influence arising from this "me").  Most psychologists would tell me that Life is hard and the "me" is at risk. They would instruct that it is of upmost  importance to look after this "me", stand up for it, protect it,  make sure it gets its needs met during these challenging times so it remains strong and healthy. And that makes sense, right, to this notion of self-love we grow up with? 

Should I protect this "me"? 

Yet, the more I practice what I am practicing, and the more I see beyond psychological conditioning the more I see and understand that I should not be protecting this "me." In fact, I should be letting Life take it out like it seems to want to do. I could  even speed things up by kicking it out.  The "me" is the problem, not a victim to what Life or karma is doing here.   The problem is that I still identify as this seperate , little  "me", (with all its mixed up preferences and needs),  that is dealing with these Life circumstances. In doing so I suffer and miss out on experiencing the joy that exists beyond this notion of "me, my and mine". So why should I do what I can to protect "me"? I don't want a healthy sense of  me...I want a dead sense of  me. Must die to be reborn. 

I  ask myself these questions in the face of all this : 

Who is this "me" that is having such a hard time?  Who is this "me" you are told  you need to protect from life? Who is this "me" that created this karma you are experiencing?  Is this "me" who you really are? Is it worth protecting, defending, feeding or saving? This me is just something you created in your mind, right? Your psyche, your self-concept...is just that a concept, an idea, right?  It isn't real!

Who is  really hurting here?  Just "me", right? Is there a part of you  watching what is happening outside you and inside you? Who is this that is watching? Does it hurt? No, right?  It is just objectively observes what is happening and how "me" is reacting to it. What does it feel like to observe the drama of me from this objective, clear minded space? As long as you are observing the drama of me, even from a slight distance, you are not tangled up in me's tale of woe, are you? There is no need to react to or resist any of it. You can be at peace regardless of what is happening around your form, can't you?

What does that realization mean?  It means you are not that drama and neither are you that "me"? Could it be that "me" and the life experiences unfolding in front of it, and the reactions to them that follows, are not who you are? If you can watch them, you are the observer, the witness, the awareness of them but not them, right? Why don't you focus more on the observer that is watching this drama of me, rather than the drama and the "me"? 

So who would be doing the running away, if you were to run? This made up sense of "me" would be running and who you really are as the watcher, would just be watching it run. It is  "me" that is encouraging the run...isn't it? What is left of this me, that which you are still clinging to, is pretty desperate in your waking up. It wants to survive...doesn't want you Self-realized...doesn't want you to take your internal eyes off it, does it? It knows that if your consciousness is not focused on it, it does not exist. So, is it not funny, that the closer you get to leaving this "me" behind, the karmic drama increases to get your attention focused back on it? 

Hmmm! Yeah I question all this, I see all this.  I understand all this. 

There is still some clinging to this idea of "me" though that keeps pulling me down.  I need to let it go.  Right now, I think Life is doing me a favour, answering my prayers...I ask for freedom from suffering.  Freedom from suffering is not about freeing one's self from challenging experiences, it is all about freeing one's self from attachment to  "me". If we are suffering, we are still clinging to me. Life can help us remove it, if instead of resisting realty when it unfolds in front of us, we open up and allow it all in.  Life will then  blow what is left of "me" right out the window. We just need to let her do that. Sigh.

All is well in my world.  

Getting Rid of "Me"

 "I don't like what is happening...but if I don't get rid of the part that doesn't like it...I am not going to grow."

Michael A. Singer

The more I read, the more I listen, the more I study and the more I learn from going inward to examine my own inner world...I see more and more clearly how the answer to everything is in letting go of "me." This "little me", this personal mind, this "somebody" we create in our heads is in the way of our freedom, our shakti flow, our sat chit ananda, this river of joy that Yogananda tells us is within us.  It and its attachment to desire and aversion is the cause of our suffering, according to the Buddha. We really need to let it go!

We, who we really are beneath this idea we have of "me" are pure consciousness.  We are Sat Chit Ananda ( eternal, conscious, bliss) . We are that which watches and observes ( without attachment to any of it) the mixed up minds and our frantic doing.  We are that which watches the feelings and thinking that is responsible for disturbing us and leading us to blame the world for our so called problems. We are the light that shines on all this stuff we are all tangled up in.  We are not the entity that gets bothered by life and then suffers...we are the watcher of this entity. We are not that which we are watching...we are the watching. 

Yet, we are so caught up in  that which is being watched...the outside world with all its changing events and phenomena and the person that is disturbed by it, (only because it affects our thoughts and feelings), that we cannot see who we really are.

Our curriculum here in this school where souls are sent to evolve is all about evolving and finding our way back to who we really are, our way back to God.  Hmm! What is in the way? "Me". "Me" is in the way. Our consciousness is so busy shining on it, we cannot see that we are the light that is shining and not what is being shined upon. 

When are we going to get that,  really get that? 

All is well in my world.

Ram Dass/ Be Here Now ( n.d.) Episode 26-Suffering Part Two. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MKuE0IpJv0&t=8s

Michael A Singer/ Temple of the Universe ( August 24, 2023) Exploring Spiritual Evolution https://tou.org/talks/